Last update: May 31, 2007
The stories are listed in their order of appearance. Sequence numbers and known posting dates also appear due to popular demand.
00-Got Beer? by Kenny N Gamera (MF+, oral, bdsm, humour) — 2000
While not a part of the Girl Scout Nookie (GSN) universe, Got Beer? (which is based on the old joke, "How do you please a man? (1) Show up naked. (2) Bring beer.") is necessary to understand the GSN stories because they flowed from this story like... well, like urine from a beer drinker.
01-Girl Scout Nookies—Aliens by Vivian Darkbloom (Mgg) — 2000. Reposted 26 Mar 05
Originally published as "Invasion of the Bawdy Snatches," reposted under the new title when the GSN stories became popular. Those girl-scouts will do just about anything to sell a box of cookies, especially if they’re illegal aliens from outer space
02-Girl Scout Nookie Sale by Kenny N Gamera (Mg, nosex, snack food) — 16 Mar 2005
When Kenny's doorbell rings this time, it's not five naked women with beer and pork rinds. It's a Girl Scout with a wagon load of shortbread cookies. And a... special ...catalog. Will Kenny fare better this time?
03-Girl Scout Nookies by Frank McCoy (Mfff, incest, cons, teen, preg?, humor) — 19 Mar 05
If the Girl Scouts in Kenny's neighborhood can make money selling nookies, why can't the Girl Scouts in Mr. Jenkins' neighborhood? After all, his daughter is in his neighborhood troop.
04-Girl Scout Nookie Flavors by Ball Four (Mffff) — 23 Mar 05
Mr. Jenkins (aka: Frank McCoy) has cornered the marked on Girl Scout Nookies, but that doesn't stop Ball Four from looking for a loophole that will allow him to enjoy them, too.
05-Officer Sherry vs. the Out of Control Story Idea by Kenny N Gamera (FfM, Fdom, preg/creampies, battering rams) — 24 Mar 05
Somebody noticed that Ball Four has ripped off the GSN story idea and sent Kenny Gamera's venerable Officer Sherry to investigate (or was that "interrogate"?) Mr. Four.
06-Girl Scout Nookies En Passant by Russell Hoisington (nosex, humor, scoffing) — 24 Mar 05
Russ appears in a trio of situations where Girl Scouts selling... stuff... appear at his front door. Is it a dream come true or the beginning of a nightmare? You have to ask?
07-Officer Sherry vs. the Corrupt Moderator by Kenny N Gamera (FfM, Fdom, battering rams, thesauri) — 25 Mar 05
After Russ sent GSN En Passant to the ASSM Moderation Center for posting, he saw Ball Four's punishment for ripping off the story idea. He tried to kill the story before it was posted, but was, unfortunately, too late. "Unfortunately" meaning, of course, that Officer Sherry had already noticed.
08-Girl Scout Nookies? Poetry by Pathos and Frank McCoy (Mf, cons, teen, poem, caution) — 26 Mar 05 and 30 Mar 05
Pathos posted a poem in the spirit of the on-going GSN story flood. Frank McCoy, who could hardly wait to rip off Kenny's idea, leapt at the chance to rip off the poetry idea, too. We have posted Frank's poem as an addition to Pathos' because Frank posted it as such, it made sense to do it that way, and we were too laz... I mean, busy... to code the two separately.
09-Girl Scout HSN by Ball Four (nosex, humor—alleged?) — 28 Mar 05
Frustrated because the local Girl Scout Nookies market has been cornered, Ball discovers the overseas Girl Scout Home Shopping Network and places an order. Soon, Girl Scout Allie arrives and teaches him lesson about "truth in advertising."
10-Girl Scout Camp Nookies by Frank McCoy (Mffffff..., incest, cons, teen, preg!, humor) — 30 Mar 05
Mr. Jenkins is invited to be the only male at Camp Lotta Sticky Nookie. Sound like a dream to you? Mr. Jenkins thought the same thing. At first.
11-Girl Scout Bookies by Kenny N Gamera (Mg+, no sex, brackets, catatonic states) — 01 Apr 05
This time the Girl Scouts really are selling cookies. And something else. No, not that you dirty-minded pervert!
12-Girl Scout Brookies by Frank McCoy (Mffff, cons, teen, nosex, humor) — 03 Apr 06
Mr. Jenkins' Girl Scout troop is no longer selling cookies. Or nookies. They have a new product, one that smells just as fishy as the nookies.
13-Girl Scout Wookiees by Russell Hoisington (nosex, humor, hair, fish, scoffing, sneering, scowling) — 04 Apr 05
Russ has two mortgages on his house, a neighbor keeping him under surveillance, and, at his newly-replaced front door, four extremely hairy Girl Scouts from Outer Space who want to sell him a free ride on their space ship.
14-Girl Scout Baby Sitting Services by Frank McCoy (Mff, cons, teen, preg, humor) — 06 Apr 06
Don't have a baby to sit? These Girl Scouts have their own definition of the term.
15-Ball Four's Girl Scout Epilogue by Ball Four (nosex) — 14 Apr 05
With Girl Scout Cookie season over, Ball Four has time to lament how his year has gone.
16-Girl Scouts Selling... Books? by Jack C. Lipton (reading, humor) — 28 Apr 08
The Girl Scouts have tables set up in front of the Publix Supermarket, but they aren't selling cookies.
17-Girl Scout Buddies by Franz Kafka (mmm, mfff, oral, anal, humor) — 28 Apr 05
Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts visit the author in the Red 5 Club.
18-My Little Dealer Wears Green by Gregory Trieste — Published 01 Apr 2005; posted to the group at a later date.
A newspaper article which, oddly enough, fits the theme of this collection. It may sound familiar in one or more of the subsequent stories. PLEASE NOTE: This is an external link which opens a new browser page. Close the new window when you are finished and you will return to this page.
19-Girl Scout Crookies by Russell Hoisington (nosex, humor, scoffing, sneering, scowling, eye-rolling, dog farts) — 29 Apr 05
Russ now needs two jobs to pay the three mortgages on his house. How could it get any worse, you ask? Well, his doorbell is ringing.
20-Girl Scout Keepers by Franz Kafka (nosex, humor) — 09 May 05
The barkeeper of the Red 5 Club has a thesaurus. And a drunken customer.
21-Girl Scout Rookies by Ball Four (Mgggg, nosex, alleged humor) — 20 Jun 05
Girl Scout Cookie Season is over. So, why are four Girl Scouts at Mr. Four's door, causing him to spew, ejaculate, and come?
22-Girl Scout Hookees by Russell Hoisington (nosex, humor, scoffing, digressing, eye-rolling, wet spot, surgical tape) — 18 Oct 05
Do you know what it's like to wake up and find four cute little bareassnaked nookies in your bedroom? It's yet another nightmare if you're Russ.
23-Christmas Nookies by Kenny N. Gamera (humor, holiday, snackfood) — 22 Dec 05
Santa dropped his sack with a grunt and leaned against it. It had been a long night, and he hadn't even finished New Hampshire yet. And not everybody in the house was asleep.
24-Girl Scout Snooker by just-this-guy (nosex, alleged humor) — 11 Jan 06
just-this-guy (JTG) invites you to travel with him in search of a very special Girl Scout and the results of his meeting.
25-Girl Scout Penguins by Kenny N. Gamera (nosex, in-jokes humor) — 12 Jan 06
Kenny has moved to a new apartment, but the Girl Scouts have tracked him down.
26-Girl Scout Cookies by Vivian Darkbloom (girl-scout, cookies) — 14 Jan 06
The most shocking story yet in the series! Read it if you dare! Not recommended for those suffering from asthma or heart conditions. May result in blindness or increase of filimentation on the interior manual surfaces. Do not use in combination with electro-shock therapy.
27-Girl Scout Pussies by Russell Hoisington (nosex, humor, scoffing, eye-rolling, chorusing, Cheez Doodles) — 18 Jan 06
Russ is mortgage free, it's a warm January afternoon, Girl Scout Cookies have just gone on sale, and a beautiful Scout is making him a "special" offer. What's wrong with this picture?
28-Girl Scout Tommie's by Franz Kafka (nosex, humor) — 20 Jan 06
News Flash: An unbelievable scandal is causing the Royal Air Force to quake in their boots. The latest Girl Scout campaign to sell cookies for fundraising has been abused. This is the report from Alleged Press correspondent Denny T. Camera.
29-Girl Scout Lezzies by Franz Kafka (humour, Mf, ff implied, mmm implied, political?, no best) — 15 Feb 06
Sex, politics, and protest—the barkeep strikes again.
30-Girl Scout Trekkies by Souvie (nosex, humor) — 20 Feb 06
Gary's sent a special birthday present that ends up on Souvie's doorstep instead. Who are these girls and why do they have pointy ears?
31-Girl Guide Nookie Sale by Crap for Brains (Mg, blowjob, footsie, illegal sale of livestock, no thesaurus) — 26 Mar 06
The 69th London Girl Guide group gives Mister CFB the same offer that the Girl Scouts in the US are giving their special customers. If only he can survive the sales pitch.
32-Girl Scout Cookies by TheMoose63 (Mg, humor, cons, oral, solo) — 18 May 06
Twelve-year-old Rebecca is trying to win the state sales competition for selling Girl Scout cookies. What she does to close the sale, you probably can imagine if you've made it this far. Bascially no sex at all... well maybe just a little bit of sex. Or maybe more. You'll just have to read and see.
33-Girl Guide Footsie by Crap for Brains (Mg, footsie, mast, cons, humor, thesauri) — 27 Jun 06
Mr. Brains is out of the hospital, just in time for Rebecca to reappear at his door. And this time she's brought a friend for a pre-sale discount special. Can Mr. Brains outsmart these vixen Mistresses of Marketing?
34-The Girl Scout Menagerie by just-this-guy (nosex, alleged humor) — 12 Jul 06
Mr. Guy is in trouble with the Girl Scouts. So what else is new? You'll just have to read the story to answer that question.
35-The Last McCoy by Evil Nigel (Mgggg, oral, scfi) — 10 Apr 07
A spaceship lands on the planetoid of 93644512 McCoy, the last legitimate descendant of Saint Frank McCoy, bringing news of his fortunate inheritance. The ship carries four small female bots. In uniforms. Green uniforms. Maybe things aren't so fortunate after all.
36-In the Beginning by Evil Nigel (Mgggg) — 28 Apr 07
In prehistoric times, before television, before doorbells, before thesauri, before Girl Scouts, even before cookies, there were nookies.
37-Girl Scout Sympathies by just-this-guy (Mf) — 31 May 07
When it came to Girl Scouts, life stunk. Sometimes life turns around.
This website and many others, along with many thousands of stories, are on webspace belonging to ASSTR, which is free to all. BUT: ASSTR is a non-profit organization which survives through the donations of its users. Please, if you can, go here and learn how to give a little. You may donate anonymously if you desire. Every amount helps.
If you have suggestions on how to improve this website, we'd like to hear from you. The writers would also appreciate hearing any comments you have on the stories. The link below will open a separate window and take you to a feedback form. After your comments have been submitted you may close that window to return to this page. You may send your comments anonymously if you wish, but if we have a question about what you meant to say, we can't ask you for clarification if you don't send an e-mail address.
