carlee - a thing of beauty
carlee in law part six
ty ty and gorman were as indiscreet as a whore with st vitus dance when they got drunk. conny phoned me and passed on this delightful little conversation between them as they waited for me to show:

"where in the hell is she, joe?"

"the night clerk told you that she had a date with some creep, maybe she slept over. relax ty ty."

"i can't joe, i'm too hungover to relax, and besides, i'm worried about what your old man told her, he's so disgustingly honest."

"you're disgustingly honest, sweetheart."

"wrong joe, i'm disgustingly scared, what if she went to get a second opinion?"

"we will grieve not, rather find strength in what remains behind."

"oh, blow it out your ass joe, the money is serious, your poetic rambling ain't"

"wordsworth thought they were, ty ty."

"fuck wadsworth! he ain't practicing law."

"you're just worrying your little vermin ass off, ty ty, she'll show."

"tell the girl to bring me a beer!"

"it's sunday, the girl has the day off."

"fuck, then you get me one."

oh, alright honey, if it will make your day a little prettier."

"aw, thanks joe, slavery has it's advantages."

real nice guys, like i say. anyway, next day i returned the car and walked to my hotel. i had done some thinking, but not near enough. as i walked up the steps i saw a girl behind the counter, manning the switchboard. "hello," i said.

"hi there, may i help you?"

"where's conny, he told me he was doing this shift today? forgive me, i'm carlee, i live here, 207." she extended her hand, perfect nails, rings on every finger, probably my age, even younger, maybe.

"i'm kim, mr. gott's cousin-in-law, i think that's a real word, cousin-in-law." she was pretty, long, shoulder-length brown hair, hazel eyes mixed with amber, cute dress too."

"you reside here year round, miss mccord?"

"well, i'm generally out of here when school's out."

"but we save your room for you?"

"ah, they try, the place is rarely full you know."

"mr. drummond is sick today, mrs. gott asked me to relieve him today. by the bye, you have 19 calls, all from mr. crawford." i had forgotten conny's last name was drummond.

"you seem comfortable with a switchboard kim," i smiled.

"i didn't know these things even existed, miss mccord, i thought they left with the ark."

"your cousin by marriage isn't very high tech." she smiled.

"i manage the crescent motel in cave city, i majored in hotel administration in college," kim explained.

"do you own it?" i asked.

"no, but i'm a stockholder," she answered.

"very nice to meet you kim, i have to run."

"enjoy your day, miss mccord."

"carlee."

"carlee, then."

207 looked pretty good to me. i was jealous: kim, a stockholder in motels, looking younger than me. i was still struggling just to stay in school. rats. just then, there was a knock at the door. "just a moment." then the phone.

"miss mccord, a mr. gorman is coming up to your room, i'm sorry, i just couldn't stop him."

"that's alright kim, thanks anyway." i stood behind the door. "what do you want joe?" i asked.

"just need to speak with you, carlee, some news." i opened my door.

"couldn't you have just called, joe?"

"could have, but i was in the neighborhood."

"may i sit down?"

"of course," i answered.

"carlee, they want to meet with us tomorrow, the school lawyers in the president's office."

"mr. thompson's office?"

"yes, it's very important, dear, they have offered three and a half million to settle out of court, as you know. that decision is yours, have you made it yet?"

"i'm sorry joe, i haven't, the settlement is attractive, but i'm not certain it's the right road i should travel."

"well, think about it honey, i have, and suing them might cost one or two of their jobs, but in the long run, the settlement sounds like the best bet to us."

i needed help. no i didn't; barney had given me the options, it was now simply my responsibility to choose what was right and fitting. i decided that i would just listen carefully the next morning, and maybe it would come to me, i hoped so anyway.

i spent the rest of the afternoon talking with kim. god, she was a go-getter, a millionaire at twenty nine, no family though, and no significant others. she traveled a lot, she was doing a twenty four hour shift at the hotel. i couldn't imagine in my wildest dreams working longer than eight hours a day, but twenty four? brian called while i was chatting with kim. he wanted to take me to dinner. i told him i was going to eat lightly tonight, i had a busy day tomorrow. he asked if he could come over. i asked kim if she was ok for dinner, and she said that she was. i told brian that he could come to the lobby if he wanted. he wanted. kim liked brian, so did i. the switchboard buzzed. kim said: "it's for you carlee, a mr. tyrone mccloud."

"thanks. hello ty ty."

"we'll come for you at nine in the morning sweetie, our meeting is for ten, i'm not certain who will be there, on their side i mean, wear something dressy, and remember, you don't have to talk."

"thanks ty ty. i'll be ready," i said. i told kim and brian what was coming down. brian was interested, kim was very interested. brian excused himself at seven o'clock, kissed me on the lips and told kim that it was a pleasure meeting her. she gave him her hand plus a wide smile. i said goodnight to kim around eight, went upstairs, ate some cheese and crackers and watched a little tv. i had my bath and was in bed before ten. the bed felt good tonight, i wondered if it would the following night.<P>

there were two "attachments" on the lower part of the park city hotel. one was rented to an eye doctor who prescribed, processed, made glasses for every patient. if their vision was 20-20, he made them glasses of plain glass, if their vision was horrible, the came out wearing lens that looked as if the were made of coca cola bottles, maybe they were. he claimed to have eliminated the middle man. the other attachment was a diner, owned, operated, managed and worked by a fat, little old man by the name of tom reynolds. tom was known widely as shorty, i never knew a good man called shorty, but tom was as pleasant as they got, and i liked him a lot. he, like his doctor neighbor, had cut out the middle man, his diner had no name posted and the only help he ever had was a sweet little girl named joanie who showed up five or six times a month to help shorty with the mid day or supper rush. joanie screwed a lot of shorty's customers. i think that's the only reason she came to work with him. tom's diner, as it was jokingly referred to, was famous for its hamburgers and for breakfast. i remembered one day when shortie's grandmother had brought him a ton of ripe cherries, he made cherry pie. he sold them as fast as he could get them out of the oven. his lights were on the next morning at two am. i had come home from a late date, and surpised him by knocking at the front door. when i saw him, i thought he'd been shot. he had red all over his apron and his hat, and was drunker than a skunk.

"i gonna make lots and lots of pies, carlee." his hands were wide open in front of him, his fat little fingers facing me, covered with cherry juice and dough. he unlocked the door for me, then fell into a booth. he was so drunk. i went in and took his paper hat off, tried to position him comfortably in the booth, and covered him up with a table cloth. i felt so sorry for him, three times divorced, attempting to make his fortune inflating the price of a fifty cent piece of cherry pie to a dollar. he should have invested in mcdonalds.

shorty was opened and doing business when i dropped in a eight am the next morning. i had on a dress, purple and black, knee length, my shoes were heels and black, and i carried a small black purse. "you look nice this morning carlee, you preaching today?" i smiled at him.

"not today shorty, fix me two over easy with bacon and hash browns and toast. i need coffee first."

"coming up," he said. he always said that. as i sipped my coffee, bernard friedman and apparently his mother and father walked by. barney rabbit, he was jewish, but didn't look jewish. his folks certainly did though. he waved at me, and the three had a seat at the first booth. bernard was majoring in accounting, third year, i think. shorty walked to their table. "good morning folks, may i take your order?" he said cheerfully.

"three of your finest hamburgers shor-ty, with fries and cokes, as soon as possible shor-ty," bernard said. "my parents are famous you know." i turned from my bar seat to witness this. barney had told be his dad was a pawnbroker in nashville, and his mom was a housewife. shorty grabbed his dick, through his apron.

"i have to shit first, rabbit, if that's ok with the famous." i couldn't help but grin, almost laughed. bernard was totally red.

"sure shorty, maybe joan is around."

"no sir, joan fucks her brother on monday mornings," i gasped.

"let's get the hell out of here, bernard," his dad said, very curtly. as they left, i turned to shorty.

"that was rude shorty, barney was just trying to impress his parents."

"then why in the hell did he bring 'em here? his old man had a yahama on his head, that's right ain't it, carlee?"

"no, but it's close," i said. i decided leaving shorty alone was the best bet.

"i thought jews had long noses," he mumbled as he flipped my eggs.

"barney doesn't, i think his is kind of cute."

"all the jews i've ever seen had big noses." i doubted if there were a six pack of people of the jewish persuasion in bowling green. the nearest synagoge was in nashville. "fuckin' danny thomas has a big nose." i didn't think that mr. thomas was jewish. "he worked with that hospital in nashville, st. jude, that makes him a jew, don't it carlee?"

"sure shorty, and it makes the beatles jewish too, for singing 'hey jude.'"

"you makin' fun of me, little britches?"

"of course not, thomas, i'm just in a good mood today." he turned and smiled.

"breakfast is served, two of my finest eggs, a cake of my finest saugage, the finest hash browns anywhere, and a cup of my extremely fine coffee." he flattened his paper hat, trying to make it look like a "yahama" and said, "you want me should surve you in the booth?" in his best lebonese voice.

"that would be the finest thing ever," i replied.

midway through breakfast, joe and ty ty appeared. the sat across from me at the booth. "enjoying yourself?" ty ty asked.

"so far," i replied. ty ty was wearing a blue cord suite with a white shirt and a red tie. again, he looked like matlock, joe looked like.....joe.

"my best guess is that this is your dad and your uncle, my least favorite guess would be that they're from the department of health," shorty stated, as he stood by my booth.

"shorty, please meet mr. joseph gorman and mr. tyrone mccloud."

"your mouthpieces?"

"yeah, and by the way, breakfast was terrific."

"it does look good, i must try it sometimes, you look good too carlee," ty ty said.

"i pay 'em to say things like that shorty."

"ready for fencing miss mccord?" joe asked as he parked the car near the building that housed mr. thompson's office.

"i'm scared joe," i announced, and i was.

"stand tall carlee, and don't volunteer very much," ty ty said. i wasn't certain i'd be able to speak. we met in a conference room north of mr. thompson's office. we were greatly outnumbered. without a gavel, mr. thompson called the meeting to order.

"i think we all pretty well know each other, but let me introduce jake serrica, our chief attorney, bill lanchester, edgar rheams and marcus hambey. mr. hambey is from the state attorney general's office, he's the deliberator here, the others are jake's staff. miss carlee mccord, mr. joe gorman, my old and dear friend, and mr. tyrone mccloud." we all nodded at each other. "the purpose of this meeting is to clear the air, and possibly make some reasonable decisions. i appereciate everyone's appearance."

"it's a hell of a way to start out a monday morning, isn't it, miss mccord?" mr. serrica started out. i smiled.

"for your sake marcus, i'll start with a little background, the dates times and so forth are written in on page one in the packet everyone has in front of them. professor wilkerson, one of our chemistry teachers, was in the bad habit of making out his tests for the semester in advance. through an anonymous tip from a guilty student, the professor was advised that the exams had been stolen from his office, reproduced and sold to students in his class for around a hundred dollars apiece. the professor was apalled, came to us, and we suggested he rewrite the next test and see what happened." ty ty coughed. "what happened, is where the heartaches began." mr. sericca said.

"dr. wilkerson looked at miss mccord's test paper, it contained the answers to the stolen test, he immediately brough this to mr. craven's office, the dean of students, announcing that he had caught the thief. the doctor presented his evidence so forthrightly, that i believe everyone here fully believed him. some words were said, accusations were made, and somehow it unfortunately was leaked to the press."

joe interrupted. "yes, and may i submit exactly what the press said to our packets?"

"it's on page 14 mr. gorman," mr. sericca answered.

"we feel that this is where the heartaches begin, mr. sericca, the tortuous accusation of our client without even the thought of further investigation," ty ty announced. bravo, i thought.

"it wasn't meant to leak, mr. mccloud," sericca said. the room was silent.

"continue mr. sericca," president thompson said.

"both mr. cravens and mr. thompson questioned miss mccord, as is our policy, and the next thing that we know, we are being sued."

mr. hambey turned and spoke for the first time. "what is the content of the suit?"

"oh, it's as long as your arm, mr. hambey, defamation, assault, bribery and malfeasance for a start," sericca answered.

"yes, and we can prove every one of those goddamn charges!" joe shouted.

"miss mccord?" mr. sericca asked, "did you seek the services of gorman and gorman?"

"sir?" i responded.

"did you go to the law firm of gorman and gorman and hire them to represent you?"

"what the fuck is up your ass, sericca, you know goddamn well that's privileged, it's irrelevant, and you have no legal right to even ask that!" ty ty shouted. "grab your bag carlee, we certainly aren't going to subscribe to the actions of this kangaroo court." he was extremely irritated.

"order, let us have order here," mr lanchester announced. "we are not holding court here, mr mccloud, kangaroo nor any other kind. we are reasonable people, seeking reasonable restitutions, cleansing the air, getting together, there's no need for you to be quite so defensive."

"you know damn well, bill, the question was out of order," ty ty rebutted.

"in a court of law, but this is not court, mr. mccloud."

"then what the hell is it?" joe asked. i found this to be a very good question.

"when you sent your man to our office offering restitutions to drop the case....."

"we never authorized any restitutions, mr. mccloud," president thompson stated.

"why isn't j. rice mcclure at this meeting?" ty ty asked.

"mr. mcclure is no longer affiliated with the university, mr. mccloud, he resigned a few days ago, i believe he went to nashville." mr. sericca stated.

"i see," ty ty exclaimed. "well please, go on with the questioning, we are glad to cooperate with you." that surprised me.

joe whispered in my ear. "don't answer shit darlin', the next question they ask you say you need to consult with your attorneys in private." i nodded. the next question to me drove us to private consultation.

"goddamn lawyers are so crooked," ty ty said.

"but we're lawyers ty ty," joe replied.

"not like them, joe. carlee, you understand what's happening, don't you?"

"i think so, they're not going to settle, and they don't want to go to court."

"almost, princess, they got rid of mcclure because they don't want to admit to the proposed settlement, they're jerking us off because they think they can win the case, believe us carlee, we've been through this shit before."

"joe's right, carlee," ty ty said.

"then what will we do?" i asked.

"one of two things," ty ty said. "we can bow out now, say that you've been strucken ill, or some such bullshit as that, or, we can go back in, spread a little bullshit ourselves. either way, we can buy ourselves some time, do some further investigating to find out what's best for our case." i smiled, but not confidently, this was disturbing. "what do you think gang?" ty ty asked.

"sugar, let's go back in there and you bullshit the hell out of them, you do that soooo well," joe announced. ty ty smiled.

"thanks massa. carlee?"

"they seem awfully confident ty ty," i said.

"all lawyers seem confident when they think they're winning baby, that's why we need to fuck with their minds a little." we went back in.

"i apologize for the slight delay, gentlemen," ty ty masterfully announced. he truly did look like matlock, seasoned and professional. "our client had some private concerns she wanted to share with us. she's entitled to that, as you know. i'm disturbed that mr. j. rice mcclure and dean cravens are not both here at this meeting. of course we have mr. mcclure on videotape, and dean dravens on audiotape for the sake of the trial, but mr. gorman and myself sorely miss them in this air cleansing proceeding. we had several questions for each." the room became very quiet.

mr. lanchester turned in his chair and looked at ty ty. "your office is video taped mr. mccloud?"

"sure, just like wal-mart, isn't yours?"

"usually not, sir."

"isn't this meeting taped?" ty ty asked.

"certainly not," mr. lanchester answered.

"well, some of us are high tech and others aren't i suppose." he turned and winked briefly at me. "and juries love high tech," he added. "let me tell you motherfuckers one last thing, before we leave. if you think for one goddamn minute that you can get away with defaming this girl's name, falsely accusing, without a fuckin' shred of evidence, you are all dumber than you look. and if you believe that bringing this guy down from the attorney general's office means shit to us, then you're dreaming. the times dictate, mr. president, that you don't pull an innocent girl's hair until you've hurt her so bad she has to go to the emergency room, that you don't offer her a full degree to drop a law suit. i have been contacted by both the new york times and the washington post about this suit, and believe me gentlemen, gorman and gorman is going to give this its best shot." ty ty stood. "see you in court!"


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