"come here, i want to whisper something to you." i couldn't believe this, but i did go over close to the desk, and bent my head over. "i don't like him carlee," conny whispered in my ear. i was startled. what was it about brian that conny didn't like? i raised an eyebrow, and whispered "why?" he shook his head. i didn't like the look in his eyes.

brian drove me to pasqualies all night pizza place. there were three other couples there, two appeared inebriated, the third in love. the table cloths were red and white checkered, the place smelled like any other pizza palour on the planet. i hated pizza myself, but loved anchovies. the menu boasted an anchovy stromboli and i chose that. brian ordered a pepperoni and mushroom pizza for himself. i thought of my portobellos.

"so how's the law suit coming carlee?" he asked.

"so that's why you asked me out on a date tonight." brian appeared embarrased.

"no, i was just curious baby."

"oh, brian, it's coming along, i wish this had never happened, it's been a nightmare."

"i'm sure it has, carlee," he said, as he held out his hand. i promptly took it in my own. brian's hand was strong, yet delicate, it felt secure. i wondered why conny didn't like him, conny was a crass old bastard, never indicated that he had feelings about any living human being, but he took to warn me. why?

brian ordered us a draft beer before dinner, i suppose you could call it dinner. it went down nicely. "my roommate charlie bought those chemistry tests, all year long."

"a lot of people did brian, i bought only one, look what it did for me," i said. our "dinner" arrived. the stromboli was salty and great. i chased it down with the rest of my beer.

"another?" he asked.

"please," i responded. we were refilled.

"i heard president thompson roughed you up in his office, is that true?"

"what exactly did you hear, brian?"

"i think i'm in love with you, carlee." i smiled.

"when will you know for sure brian?" he smiled. "oh, mine is just a popular name on campus these days, brian," i said. he leaned his head far across the table, and kissed me.

"i wouldn't have you so notorious, babe." people stared, i kinda liked that. brian made my heart beat, very fast. i wondered if he really wanted to hear about my troubles, or just wanted me to talk. it didn't matter, i would do anything he wanted me to do that night, short of taking him to my room and removing my clothes, and that thought had crossed my mind. brian was only a couple of inches taller than me, his hair was long and blondish, he was a snappy dresser. tonight he wore a dark blue dress shirt and a black sports jacket, no tie. his trousers were a nondescript light color, his smile was lovely.

"another beer?" he asked.

"for the road," i said. "my day is busy tomorrow."

"will you be in town the weekend, carlee?"

"no, brian, my dad returned home, i'm spending the weekend with him."

"i'll miss you then, how about next week?" he raised two fingers to the waitress, she seemed to understand.

"not sure brian, i'm living from day to day at this moment in time." i thought that sounded alluring. he smiled. we drank our beer, then walked out hand in hand.

"good night kids, come back to see us," a man who was sweeping out front said.

"thank you," brian replied. "and we will be back."

brian wanted to go to dinner and a movie the next week. i told him i'd let him know. he kissed me in front of the hotel, it didn't last long enough, so i pressed forward. my tongue touched his front teeth, then i felt his tongue--and electricity ran from my toes to the top of my head. god, he was good.

"you're not inviting lover boy up to your room?" conny asked.

"was afraid you'd film us, conny."

"ha, that would be a trip, never thought of it. by the way, you have another gentleman caller over there, i think he's drunk." a man was huddled up in a large leatherette lounge chair, his head was away from me.

"who is that?" i asked.

"tyrone mccloud was the name he used."

"ty ty, my legal eagle. tell him i came in late, conny, leaving for owensboro early, and will speak with him on monday. good night conny." he smiled a very nice smile.

the trip to owensboro was hectic, i had to borrow a car from a friend, and i was two hours late getting there. dad and a friend were sitting on the front porch, the day was balmy, but pretty. dad was especially pretty. he ran to my car wearing cut offs and a short sleeved sweatshirt that had the air force emblem on it. he hugged me tightly. "changing branches in mid stream soldier?" i asked. he smiled that marvelous smile of his.

"way past mid stream angel, and you look teriffic." i couldn't help but feel great. "carlee, do you remember colonel adkins, barney?" barney adkins, yeah i remembered him as a major with legal services, usaf.

"of course i do, good to see you colonel," i smiled and said.

"miss carlee, you are prettier than i ever imagined, you must be proud bill."

"i certainly am barney, i've missed you so baby, i really have."

"me too dad, me too." he didn't know how much. "how are things in the middle east?" i asked.

"no good, never have been, never will be," he answered. barney smiled.

"is mr. leisure at home dad, i need to see him."

"no honey, ray's visiting his daughter linda in st. louis, her hubby's in about as bad a shape as ray."

"blind leading the blind?"

"more or less. but i've got to admire ray, he's there for anyone who needs him." i grinned, and thought of his stamina over the years.

"yes, i admire him too."

dad and barney grabbed my sparce luggage, and dad served tea out on the deck. colonel adkins and i chitchatted about nothing. dad served, and walked out into the yard and pulled some mint. "anybody else?" he asked, as he waved the flavorable sprigs at us. colonel adkins and i declined. the tea was delicious, and quite refreshing. then dad brought up the uncomfortable discussion of my problems in school.

"do i need to be sworn in?" i asked.

"no baby, just talk, and tell us anything you remember."

i told my story, a long one, i tried not to leave anything significant out. i didn't suggest to dad that he consult with an attorny, but i wasn't at all surprised that he had.

"railroaded, eh, barney?"

"in a way, general, yes, carlee is a victim of circumstances, bad circumstances. i was trying to think how i'd advise my daughter."

"i fucked up, didn't i?" i asked.

"yes, carlee, you did," barney answered. i thought that was very white of him, pulled no punches. "there's no one good answer to this dilemma, the damage is already done, a court case may vindicate you in the newspapers, but mr. gorman sr. is right, the settlement will buy you, a court case won't do much to help; you realize that mr. gorman jr. and his paralegal with the attractive name are merely opportunists."

"ty ty."

"yes, ty ty, those two are now the epitome of what our legal system has become, you were merely an ambulance, they chased you, and they caught you." although i had thought this for a long time, okay, i always knew it, barney's words came down hard on me, i was a commodity, the goose who laid the golden egg, god, how disappointing, i was really embarrassed, felt like crying. dad put his arm around me, he understood my embarrassment. "there is another option carlee," colonel adkins said. i thought, pray tell. "you could throw yourself on the mercy of the school, tell them that you're sorry about buying the test, tell them that you'll be a good girl from now on, and beg them to let you stay and finish your education, drop the suit and the settlement. it wouldn't be colorful, nor exciting, nor profitable, but it may bring you peace." i thought about this, i hated it, but he may be right, what the hell did i have to win anyway?

"colonel adkins, i don't think those creeps in administration are any better than joe and ty ty." he smiled, a crooked smile.

"and you're probably right ,carlee." his eyes danced. "this becomes an issue of not them against you, them for you, it becomes carlee for herself, you have to weigh the factors in a fine analytical balance, like your dad does, and avail yourself of the proper sample. if you want to go to paralegal school, then do so, after all you spent twelve years of school waiting to do what you're doing, what's another few hours a day, i believe you'd love the law."

"not if it's what you are describing, colonel," i reacted.

"i know that, pretty one, but things can change, they must, and it takes dedicated people to do that. smart people, like yourself." spare me. i thought. i've been patronized enough lately, the golden goose. he didn't know me from fuckin' eve, but i could change the world. and perhaps he was right. i smiled, and thanked colonel barney. he was a teacher, no doubt, but i wondered in the farmost depths of my mind, would he run, if i took my clothes off? i doubted it. my mind was in the gutter again.

"well carlee, have you gleaned anything positive from colonel adkin's observations?" i wondered if anyone else's father would have reacted like that. i smiled.

"yes, i think so, sir."

"carlee, i'm not an advisor, nor a psychoanalyist, basically an attorney whose seen a lot of mundane things in my career, a lot of things less than mundane, and a lot more. if i have been of any assistance, then i'm happy to be of any help, if i sounded like a schmuck, then i apologize."

"no barney, you've been very helpful, i suppose it's up to me now." barney smiled, so did dad. "may i ask you one last question sir?" i directed this at barney.

"sure, dear."

"if i chose option number three, and it didn't work so well, could you come to my defense?"

"i would hope so, carlee, but i'm not sure." he looked at dad.

"my medical covers her because she's still in school, i'd assume she's covered by legal also."

"then i'd be honoured to serve you, miss mccord, just call upon me. and i must go bill, thanks for inviting me." he saluted dad, dad saluted back.

"and thanks again for the sweat shirt barney." barney smiled.

"i'm sorry, daddy."

"i know you are baby, but hey, you've got friends, it's not the end of the world."

"what would i ever do without you?" i asked. he pondered.

"the question is, what would i ever do without you?" we smiled.

i spent the rest of the afternoon with dad. we ate bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwiches for lunch, and talked very little about my present problems. dad knew i had to sort things out for myself. he was right.

it was almost dark when i left. i wanted a cool can of coors, so i drove downtown and bought six. the river was so close that i walked down to it, to drink and think. the ohio river travels the entire breadth of the state, a mighty river, as pretty as the green and far more commercial. mr. leisure and i used to fish in it when i was growing up, that always made it appear more appetizing. i knew i needed to think, i knew i had choices, i knew that dad and barney would hope i chose to throw myself upon the mercy of the school. unfortunately, i couldn't arrive at that conclusion so rapidly, it was me who was involved in this situation, and i had to analyze the facts and reach the most reasonable decision. just then, the belle of louisville blew her horn and paddled less than a quarter of a mile east of me. what a beauty, i had seen her twice before, once in louisville, again in henderson when i was nineteen. it was impossible for me to think seriously in this awe, so i just sipped my beer and waved at the engineer and crew when they passed me.