"and you're a scum sucking pig," joe said.

"ooooh, i haven't been called that in years, sweetheart, and i do love it so."

"don't you think you were overly dramatic with j. rice this afternoon?" joe asked.

"of course not sugar, he called us vermin."

"we've been called that before ty ty."

"yes but not by someone under thirty," ty ty responded. "joe, did i ever tell you about my old buddies, goodie and toad?"

"i don't think so, vermin."

"hey, watch that," ty ty warned. "anyway, goodie and toad were sitting on the creek bank one evening, contemplating the sunset, drinking solax and chasing it with creek water, and toad told goodie that his eyes were turning yellow."

"what's solax?" joe questioned.

"some kinda paint thinner, i believe," ty ty said. "as goodie was drinkin' and quotin' the star spangled banner, a policeman sneaked up and arrested them."

"very interesting ty ty, what was the charge?"

"public intoxication, i believe, but i could have had them out in twenty minutes though. anyway, they woke up in jail the next morning, terribly thirsty, the water at the sink didn't work, and so yellow goodie unscrewed the son-of-a-bitch, and there was plenty of water for both of them." ty ty laughed, and laughed.

"i don't get it." joe said.

"damn city rat vermin, you never understand the humor of eastern kentucky, goddamnit."

the hostess brought them fresh drinks. "damn!" ty ty shouted. "is ice extra?"

"you bet baby, twenty dollars extra," she said.

"well, here's a fresh hundred, just made it, let our friend carlee mccord in when she shows, and keep the extra until i really get a hard on." the hostess smiled.

"that'll be the one standing behind you," she said, nodding at me.

"evening guys," i said.

"the sweetheart of sigma chi," joe announced.

"carlee, you're late," said ty ty.

"and you're drunk."

"not as drunk as joe." as if to prove it joe drank the bourbon the waitress had just brought.

"damn joe, the ice will be here in just a minute."

"makes no difference to me ty ty, i could have dranken the hair oil."

"dranken's not a real word, drunk is preferable."

"who give's a shit?" joe responded. ty ty shrugged. "barkeep, a drink for the lady. and we'll have another round!" he shouted.

"honey, your bourbon's gone, what's next?"

"what else is in that poke, sweetie?"

"scotch and gin, i believe," she responded.

"name your poison, joseph," ty ty said, with a slurred voice.

"scotch sounds good to me," he answered.

"sounds good to me, scotch it will be, and make it doubles melissa."

"i'm june, mr. mccloud."

"wrong! barkeep, tonight you're melissa, one of my favorite names, outside of mary."

"are you gentlemen going to eat tonight?" she asked.

"we've been waiting for our guest. now that she's finally here we'll think about it," joe answered, as he gulped half his drink.

"how long have you guys been here?" i asked. i knew the answer: too long.

"hey, it's friday night and we just got paid. what's the rest of the words to that song?"

"there ain't none that i ever heered." joe added, "have a drink with us ,carlee. oh barkeep!"

"i don't want a drink ty ty, it's been a rough day and i want to eat and get home. it's also obvious that you two need a designated driver."

"may i take your order, ma'me?" june asked.

"yes, thank you, i'll have broiled trout with drawn butter and a spinach salad." june wrote.

"we too," joe interjected, but bring us another round while we're waiting." she returned in a moment with my attorneys' drinks.

"it will be twenty minutes or so, miss." i smiled and nodded.

"so about this afternoon," i started.

"good news, carlee," ty ty anounced. didn't seem like good news to me. seemed like we had been offered three and a half million and and ended up throwing the opposition attorney out of the building. i know shit about the law, but that didn't seem smart to me.

"good news?"

"he offered three and a half million to settle out of court." i didn't know what to say.

"that's a lot of money guys."

"you betcha, damn straight, a lot of money," joe added.

"but, what about the court case?" i asked.

"won't be none," joe drunkenly stated.

"you see, doll," ty ty started, "lawyers don't like to go to court, it's boring. have to get up early in the mornings, watch your drinking, be on your toes every second of the case, discoveries, depos, cross examinations, shit like that."

"but i thought that's what you went to law school for," i said.

"that's true carlee," joe stated. "but there is so much that they don't teach you in school, street law, that's what ty ty calls it anyway."

"i'm afraid i don't completely understand," i said.

"explain it to her ty ty," joe insisted, as he finished his drink.

"the law's a business, carlee, just like merchandizing, just like running a restaurant, just like medicine. we have found, over the years, that going to trial is the least profitable avenue to take. you depend on a jury, which doesn't want to even be there, to win the case, and they rarely award punitive damages, it's not in their best interest, and they don't gain a penny for it. in our suit, we're out salaries to staff and investigators, office overhead, our earnings, a third of three million will mean we will do about $500.00 an hour, and you will become a very rich young lady." i wasn't perplexed, i was angry. they didn't care anything about me, it was simply the money. god, i had proposed that to myself many times during these preceedings, but hearing it like this, from two drunken lawyers, really upset me, how many damn times do i have to re-explain it to myself?

"excuse me, i have to go to the powder room." i said.

i was crying when i opened the powder room door. june was in there.

"what's the matter sweetie?" she asked.

"i, i just need a kleenex," i sobbed. she found one and held me tight. i blew my nose, and wiped my eyes.

"do you need a friend miss?" i faked a smile.

"i think i need my dad," i said. she patted the back of my head.

"i wouldn't pay much attention to those two creeps, the only real man in that operation is mr. gorman senior, now he's a sweetheart." i smiled.

"i believe you're right, and thanks." she left, and i fixed what was left of my face. goddamnit, as soon as you get really interested in something, someone always shoots you down. thinking back though, i did realize that mr. gorman didn't hunt me up at the white tray that morning because he felt sorry for me, or that he wanted to help me, he wanted only to help him! and i shaved my legs for this?

i saundered back to the table, joe and ty ty were on another drink. "you upset with us babe?" ty ty asked.

"yes."

"we're only lookin' after your best interest," he said.

"bull shit," i said. ty ty looked at joe.

"no comment." our trout arrived.

"goddamn!!" ty ty shouted.

"what's the matter sir?" june asked.

"hell, the son-of-a-bitch is staring up at me. freaks me completely out!"

"i'm sorry sir, would you like me to take it back?"

"yeah, remove its head and its tail." ty ty fell over on the table. he was passed out. joe was at ease though, we nibbled at trout together squirting lemon juice on it and dipping it in drawn butter.

"pretty damn good." he said. i nodded my head in agreement.

june and i carried the two out to the parking lot. "which is their car, honey?"

"the fiat, i think." i answered.

"let's put mr. mccloud in the back seat then," she proposed.

"i don't think it has one june," i answered.

"oh shit." she said. the three of us were crammed into the car like sardines, positioned quite obscenely. i didn't know where either of them lived, so i drove to gorman and gorman. a light was on, so i stopped and knocked on the door. mr. gorman senior came to the door.

"carlee, my angel, what brings you here at this late hour?"

"i have your son and ty ty mr. gorman, they've drank too much and i drove them home."

"are they sleeping?" he asked.

"deeply," i said.

"well, come in then, out of the cold."

"mr. gorman, may i ask you a question?"

"why, certainly my dear."

"did the guys tell you about their visit from president thompson's attorney today?"

"no, but melissa did," he answered.

"what do you think about the offer sir?"

"it's a generous offer, miss carlee, makes a lot of money for everyone concerned, but offers little else."

"what do you mean by that sir?"

"settleing out of court is the easy way out carlee, it makes it easy on attorneys not to fight in court, it makes it easy on the client, not to undergo stress, it makes it easy on the judicial system not to tie up the court room, and it makes the law a joke. i, myself, have great admiration for the law. they make good laws, they make bad laws, it was our job to change things. i changed many bad laws carlee, in court, and i was very proud of each one, it kept me alive, it strengthened me to go on, it made my life's work interesting."

"what will happen if i take the money and run mr. gorman?"

"do you have a tee shirt with 'bitch' written across the front and a very long way to run?" i grinned. "the settlement, my dear, will be well worth it to the establishment at western, three million is nothing to them. they will accuse you directly, or more directly in the matter of the stolen tests. the real thieves will laugh, because there will be no further investigation, the case will be closed. you will find it difficult, or even impossible to find an empty class at western, or anywhere else maybe, there are repercussions involved with big bucks." i started to cry, and mr. gorman senior held me tightly. "now, now, pretty one, i wouldn't attempt to make up your mind for you for any amount of money. i'm just trying to point out some options." i couldn't stop crying. "let me drive you home, and you rest, and think. i founded this law firm, and it's still mine, if you choose dear, i will represent you myself with all the vigor left, in my disgraceful longevity."

i cried and smiled. "you're the greatest, mr. gorman."

"i'm just ok, carlee." he laughed.

mr. gorman and i roused joe and ty ty, helped them inside. they were wobbly, but alright.

"did you get that paper a&p poke when we left joe?"

"why, you need to oil your hair?"

"no, i need to cut it off, too damn heavy."

"we may want to cut our heads off tomorrow," joe said.

"oh shut up and find us a drink." joe opened a desk drawer and pulled out a jug of white liquid. he gathered up a couple of glasses. "it's friday night and we just got paid," he sang.

"oh, shut that shit up," ty ty declared, as he held his head. mr. gorman semior laughed.

"drunken lawyers." he said. i smiled.

mr. gorman opened the door of the fiat for me. "foreign cars," he glibly stated.

"i could drive this into the back seat of my car."

"where to carlee?"

"ah, do you know chestnut street?"

"of course."

"and the park city hotel?"

"yes."

"i rent a room there for the school year."

"a beautiful old institution, the park city, does bobby lacklan still manage it?"

"no sir, a mr. gott does."

"hmmm, don't know him." a few minutes later he pulled up in front of the hotel. "now remember baby, think, put on a comfortable thinking cap and think. you don't have to settle, nor do you have to go to court, but i will graciously back whatever decision you make."

"mr. gorman, what would you do?"

"i can't answer that carlee, i won't answer that, the decision is for you to make."

"they told me that they would send me to paralegal school, mr gorman."

"and so they will dear," he promised. i kissed him on the cheek and walked slowly inside.

"your dad's called three times for you carlee," conny, the night clerk announced.

"the colonel?"

"yes, and he's upset."

"oh god, he's back home."

"ring him back conny, give me ten minutes." i went to my room, and made a well deserved drink. my fridge consisted of four portabello mushrooms, the size of my wall clock, a half a carton of orange juice, some bacon and some sharp cheese. the phone rang in a few minutes. "hello?"

"carlee, angel, i just got home, you're in trouble, aren't you baby?"

"yes daddy, i am, in a lot of trouble."

"anything this old soldier can do to help?" god, how i needed those words, my strength and my salvation. i broke into tears. "honey, honey, speak to me if you can!"

"i'm trying daddy, i' m trying." and i was, but i couldn't.

"do you want me to come to bowling green baby, tonight?"

"no dad," i sniffed. "i'm ok, just glad to hear a friendly voice." i really meant more than that. he knew too.

"i'm so sorry baby, you know, i didn't want to be out of the country." gosh, he'd been telling me that for fifteen years, when mama was dying and when i had my first date, even when i graduated from high school. but i loved him though, he really did understand me, more than anyone else in the world.

"there's been some trouble at school dad, i'm ok, really. i hired a law firm, they're looking after me."

"were you hurt angel, anything like that?"

"no, no, it was over a test they think i stole."

"what kind of test carlee maree?"

"a chemistry test, oh god, it's so complicated, and i'm so embarrased."

"tell me about it?" he asked. i told him everything i knew, it took over an hour.

"this mr. gorman looked you up, you didn't call him?"

"that's right, i was about to have breakfast."

"did you read the paper?"

"no, i hadn't seen it."

"well, i feel that gorman and gorman's intervention was for opportunity, if you'd like military lawyers, i can call them."

"what do you think i should do dad?" i asked.

"oh, i can't answer that baby, not now anyway, i think that you should spend some more time with mr. gorman senior, he seems to have a level head, at least i think he does." we talked for a few more minutes then dad hung up, promising to call tomorrow. my father is the smartest man on the planet, he always has been. better than that, he was not only my dad, but my friend. the telephone rang. conny told me that it was brian crawford. brian was the boy of my dreams this semester, cute as he could be.

"hi carlee," he said. "listen, i'm devastated by the news, are you ok?"

"i'm dealing brian, trying to anyway."

"i feel for you babe, is there anything i can do?" god, he lit up my life, feeling for me was quantity sufficient.

"thank you very much brian." i said, my heart pounding.

"i know you didn't take those tests carlee, i've heard you're suing western, i'll be glad to be a witness for you."

"oh, that's awfully sweet of you, brian," i said, in my sexiest voice.

"listen babe, i know it's late, but if you're hungry, i know an all night pizza place."

"a date?"

"well, yeah," he answered.

"i'm bad new these days, brian."

"not to me," he said. i thought of the one pound mushrooms, and the cheese.

"it's ok with me brian, if you promise to take me to an all night grocery store as well."

"deal, carlee."

"i'll be in the lobby." i had a date. wow!

"you're certainly not going out this late are you, carlee?" conny asked.

"so, what are you, my keeper?" i asked.

"naaa, i don't give a damn what you do or who you screw," conny answered. conny was an old navy man, i don't suppose he really did care what i did or who i screwed. i had talked with him many a night, listened to his stories, we were friends. i'd lean on the counter and conny would brag. i'm not even sure which war he was in, those he didn't kill, he fucked. i knew he was a lonely old man, but i loved him, in my fashion. "sweet meat has arrived." conny announced. he had never asked anything about my predicament, but i knew that he read the paper from cover to cover.

"hi, carlee, you ready?" brian asked so softly.

"i'm ready, if she ain't," conny glibly said, he was pissed.

"you've got your choice brian," i said.

"i choose you carlee, although your friend is attractive." conny went smug.