Eff Del

Young But Daily Growin'

Chapters 23-26

New Characters: Chris

It has often been debated as to which is more beautiful; stunning natural wonder or lovingly crafted art.

Those that advocate for man-made creation do so because they feel it best represents the superior inventiveness of the human mind while those who hold forth for natural magnificence maintain its very randomness argues for its superiority.

The stated case of either side fails to take into consideration that the source of each is essentially the same; the sense of what is beautiful which God has implanted in the human soul and therefore the discussion is moot.

The cool, untamed wind whipped his thick black hair wildly about his face as he leaned upon the rough stone wall and gazed down into the pristine valley that lay far below. From this vantage, the remote earth was almost a carpet of greens and browns made vivid by the burgeoning buds and young supple growth which were the fruits of the life-renewing rains of spring.

Down the center of this tapestry of color and texture, the river ran carving a gently looping line as if it were a sliver of oddly broken glass.

We had pulled off and onto a scenic vista spot, taking a short break from our drive up the mountainside to the remote lodge that would be our final destination for the day.

"Except for flying in the jet, I've never been this high up, Eric. It's so beautiful!" He had turned to me smiling while trying vainly to keep his tempest-tossed hair from obscuring his eyes. "And I don't see any buildings or roads or stuff down there 3; just the river, the grass an trees an bushes."

I placed a hand lovingly on his slender shoulder and said, "That's why our National Parks are so important, Sean. It keeps these large areas of great natural beauty safe from 3; well from people. They'll stay natural and unspoiled forever so that generations from now some little kid like you will be able to lean on those same rocks and see the same lovely valley down there."

He nodded his head 3; he truly understood. "That's so neat, Eric."

I wrapped my arm around him and gently guided him back to the Escalade. "We'll have all day tomorrow to explore the park, little man. It's getting late and the air is getting cold. I don't know why I didn't think to bring you a jacket. I guess it's because it was so hot way back at the capital when we started out this morning. The last thing we need is for you to catch a chill. You're still pretty weak yet."

About twenty minutes later we had checked into the rugged looking but actually quite luxurious lodge near the waterfall on Mount Fuente de Oro.

While most people know that such accommodations are available in most of our National Parks, they are generally unaware that within these facilities are private housing units reserved for the exclusive use of persons of celebrity or power: usually euphemistically referred to as VIPs.

When I had called two nights ago to arrange for the use of these particular lodgings, I had been politely informed that they had been previously reserved by a US senator and his family. I'd thanked the young man I'd been speaking to and then I'd placed another call to a different source.

Fifteen minutes later my cell phone rang and it was the same young man sounding rather chastened and issuing heart-felt apologies for his 'mistake'. It seemed that the accommodations I'd requested were 'of course' available.

It was not my nature to use my wealth and power to gain an advantage over another person but I also had no qualms about trumping some political pimp who made a living sucking on the public teat and taking selfish advantage of his elected position. From my point of view, his free wilderness junket was secondary. I frankly hoped that all they could find to downgrade him into was a damned tent.

Our private 'cabin' was a two-story wood, stone and glass structure with four bedrooms, a massive river rock fireplace that Sean could have stood up inside and a rustic balcony/terrace that looked out over the falls and the wild gorge it cascaded down into.

As the young man from the lodge showed us around, I asked him if there were any shops in the complex where I could purchase a couple of jackets as I'd forgotten how chilly the evening could be in the mountains this time of year.

He smiled and told me that the lodge was always prepared for such emergencies and that if I'd excuse him he would be right back.

Sean and I strolled out onto the terrace and watched the waterfall. It was at its peak, being swollen and enriched by the generous spring rains and the melting snow from higher elevations. The roar of the frothy white water resonated throughout the gorge and canyon as it crashed down the almost sheer face of the cliff in two long breathtaking flights before exploding dramatically as a misty storm into the river below.

"Gosh Eric! That's loud! How are we gonna sleep with all that noise?"

"Well, in the first place, once the doors and windows are closed, you won't hear it hardly at all but in the second place little man, I think you'll find that after a while with natural noises like this you get used to the sound and pretty soon you don't notice it."

I was interrupted by the return of the young man who presented us each with beautiful forest green jackets bearing a lovely embroidered patch of the park logo on the left breast and our names stitched artfully on the right.

"My apologies Mr. Tucker. These SHOULD have been given to you when you checked in. Artis at the desk is new I'm afraid. They are of course with the compliments of the lodge management."

"I've taken the liberty of setting up a diner reservation for you two in the De Oro Room. I've reserved you a table by the window. The reservation is in 45 minutes if that's all right. I can easily change it but I suspected you might like to eat early after your long drive."

I took a quick glance at his brown name tag 3; Chris it said.

"Chris, thank you for the jackets and thanks for your thoughtfulness regarding dinner. You have a fine grasp of customer service. I hope you'll pardon my curiosity but tell me, when the season is over up here at the lodge, what do you do with yourself?"

"I'm a student at the University sir. I'm in pre-law right now though I've been thinking of changing my major to business. This is my second season here at the lodge, my first year as assistant concierge and I love it. It's almost like being paid to be on vacation."

I nodded and took out my wallet. I extracted one of my personal business cards and handed it to him. "Chris, when you've graduated please give me a call so that we can discuss some possibilities for your future. I will always have use for a good, clear-thinking person like you."

I slipped a folded hundred dollar bill into his hand and he was almost blushing as he thanked me and left us assuring me that if I needed ANYTHING I should call upon him.

I guided Sean into the master bathroom so that we could wash up before diner. Looking around he said;

"This is nice Eric 3; not nearly as nice as OURS, but it's really pretty neat." I couldn't help but agree but then, VIP accommodations ARE VIP accommodations 3; even in the middle of the wilderness.

***

Chris had indeed reserved a very exclusive spot for us in the restaurant. The table sat next to a stone and glass wall that looked out upon the gorge and the falls. Though the view from the terrace of our cabin was actually more up close and spectacular, this was a very impressive backdrop to the rustic elegance of the dining room.

Our waiter had recommended a meal that was not on the regular menu; fresh caught rainbow trout grilled over mesquite with sage and lemon. It sounded so good that we both ordered it and as we sat waiting, I sipped upon a very dry vodka martini while Sean enjoyed a lemonade and maraschino cherry juice 'cocktail' served in a tall Collins glass.

Small bits of memory were returning to the boy and while I listened patiently and encouraged him to share his thoughts I did not pry or attempt to bring out any recollections that were not yet ready to manifest themselves.

I frankly did not care and, in fact, preferred the idea that he remembered as little as possible of the entire episode. More than anything I didn't want him to be emotionally scarred by fear, anger or insecurity. Sean was a happy, inquisitive little boy and I could not bear the idea that some sick bastard might have stolen those attributes from him.

At the moment the kidnapping and subsequent hospital stay seemed to be the furthest things from his mind as we discussed our plans for tomorrow. He was talking in his usual mile-a-minute fashion and wiggling in his chair as he did so. A stranger would never have been able to guess at the traumatic experiences he had just endured.

"I'll show you a map of the park in the morning, Sean. A lot of the famous sights are just a short walk from places we'll be able to park the car. If you enjoy yourself, next year when you're fully recovered, we can come back and take a few of the longer hikes that go deeper into the park. Maybe even do an over-nighter."

He took a long drink from his glass and then slowly raised his eyes up to meet mine. There was a melancholy little half-smile on his face and he said softly, "You made a mistake Eric. You said 'next year'. Next year I'll be gone back to the NEST. I guess 3; I guess you forgot."

Tell him! the voice in my head screamed. You've made up your mind; tell him that much at least!"

"Not yet, I thought, I'm going to tell him this trip for sure, but not yet. I reached across the table and patted his hand smiling softly. I was saved from the need to say anything by the arrival of our dinner. As his plate was placed before him Sean stared down at it with a look of complete bewilderment.

"Eric," he whispered. "They need Walter up here to show them how to clean fish!"

I smiled. The trout on his plate was an entire fish grilled as was traditional and garnished with herbs and lemon rind. "What do you mean Sean?" I feigned innocence.

"They left the head and the tail on it. Yours too!" he answered sincerely concerned.

"Oh, that's OK. This is the way trout is usually served. I promise you the guts and stuff have all been cleaned out and you don't eat the head or the tail unless you're a raccoon or something. Watch me, I'll show you." I filled my fork with a chunk of the soft sweet meat from the body and tasted it. It was wonderful.

Always adventurous and never shy about food, Sean followed my lead and was soon smiling and nodding his head, an indication that he found the fish as delicious as I did. He was almost finished when he suddenly began giggling. It was obvious that he was trying to keep his mirth under control but it was seemingly a losing battle.

"What in the world is so funny, Sean?"

"I never had somethin' for dinner that watched me while I ate it before!" I joined him in his laughter.

***

After we'd finished dinner he seemed refreshed and not quite as weary as he had been during the drive up into the park. Therefore, rather than go directly to bed, I'd suggested he might enjoy a soak in the hot tub out on the terrace.

We'd undressed in the large master bedroom and slipped into the thick white terry cloth robes the lodge provided for its guests. While Sean's was a size 'small', it was intended for a small adult and thus, he was almost lost in its folds. This didn't seem to bother him a bit and I enjoyed looking at him 3; he looked warm and cute.

Out on the terrace, he moved to the edge of the bubbling steaming water and let his robe fall to the deck. Wincing at the chill of the night mountain air, he stepped gingerly into the hot water and let himself slowly sink down until just his head and shoulders were above the surface. Instantly a contented smile spread across his face and he called for me to join him.

I poured myself a generous glass of single malt Scotch whiskey, dropped my own robe onto the deck next to his and stepped into the hot frothing water next to him.

Little pleasures are often the best and the exquisite luxury of soaking in hot water bubbling with therapeutic force while outdoors surrounded by crisp ambient air on a mountain night in spring is just such a thing.

We both sat silently for long moments just enjoying the sybaritic experience. I noticed, with some smug satisfaction, that the thunderous roar of the waterfall had indeed become a hardly noticed leitmotif, providing the perfect background for our private little world.

Without saying a word, he slid over and placed himself so that he was sitting on my lap. He pulled my arms until they were wrapped around him in a loose embrace and then he leaned back into me, resting his head upon my chest.

He sighed softly. "You haven't held me in a looong time, Eric." He said almost in a whisper. Thinking quickly I realized that it had been over two weeks since we'd last been in each others arms sharing the silken pleasure of the feel of flesh against flesh. I tightened my embrace around him and nuzzled my nose through his beautiful thick black hair.

"I know," I answered him in my own almost whisper. "But that stuff is all behind us and I'm holding you now, little man. That's all that matters."

"That's kinda like what the Professor says. He always tells me that I shouldn't worry about things that happened in the past as long as I'm moving forward. At first I didn't understand him so he told me to think about it like this 3; that as long as you're movin forward, you can't trip over what's behind you."

I smiled and softly kissed the top of his head. My hands were now slowly moving along the surface of his smooth skin reacquainting themselves with the feel of him while my mind enjoyed the tactile pleasure of touching him after such a long and terrible time. He silently shifted and raised himself to accommodate my exploring fingers.

"Man! Lookit ALL those stars Eric! There's even more stars than you can see by the lake at Fish Camp!"

"That's because we're at a much higher elevation than at Fish Camp and besides, the air here is even clearer than it is back home. They're beautiful aren't they?"

"Yeah 3; and so many. I never saw anything like this when I was back at the NEST."

"Well, the NEST is in Houston and that's a big city. One of the bad things about a big city is the air is dirty and there's always too much light so you can't ever see a beautiful night sky there." I was gently brushing one of his little nipples with my fingertips while my other arm was wrapped around his waist. "Why are you talking about the NEST right now Sean?"

"Oh, I was just thinkin'. Do you know next month is my birthday?"

"Sure I do. It's June 17th and you're going to be twelve years old."

"Yeah, well back at the NEST, when it was my birthday, they'd say the year was half over 3; that it was just a half-a-year 'till Christmas and New Year's. "

"So, what's wrong with that?"

"Well, this year, Christmas and New Year means my contract is pretty much over."

He'd stood up and was facing me. Even in the dim light on the terrace I could see he was shivering in the cold air. I quickly climbed out of the tub and held his robe out to him.

"It's late and it's cold, let's go inside and talk Sean."

We both pulled our warm robes on and walked briskly back into the cabin. Thanks to the microwave, I soon handed him a steaming mug of hot chocolate and poured myself a generous dram of whisky.

"Let's get into bed and get warm while we talk OK?"

"Kay" he took a sip from his cup and came up with the tip of his nose covered in whipped cream. I leaned down and dramatically licked his nose clean causing him to smile brightly. I turned the covers on the tall king-sized bed down, helped him slip out of his robe and lifted him up onto the soft mattress. My eyes drank in the sight of his beautiful body displayed for the moment in all of its magnificent nakedness before I pulled the blankets up over him and climbed into bed beside him.

We sat propped up by pillows, our bodies touching and sipping on our drinks when he spoke again in a soft voice.

"Eric, I'm sorry. I'm not supposed to talk like that. It was really wrong. I hope you're not mad."

"Why should I be mad Sean? What do you think you've said that's wrong?"

"Well, I ain't had any of my trainin' yet, but I know we're not supposed to get involved with our clients or care when a contract is over but 3;"

"But what Sean?"

"But I guess I don't know better cause I do care an I'm involved with you. I'm sorry Eric I'm not spossed to talk like this." His eyes were moist and glistening and I reached over and pulled him over so that he was laying on top of me resting his head on my chest while I hugged him tightly.

"I've been talkin to the Professor about it a lot an he's been tryin to help me understand. He calls it getting' in touch with my feelins. He says I'm not confused just motionly unfistigated."

I had to think about that for a bit.

"Do you mean emotionally unsophisticated?"

"Yeah, that's what I said 3; motionally unfistigated. He says I just don't understand all of my feelins cause at the NEST I didn't learn about them the way most people do."

"I see, and what are you and the professor coming up with, little man?"

He sat up suddenly sitting on my stomach while his legs straddled my sides. He had the blankets draped over his shoulders and he was looking at me in the most serious manner.

"What I've come up with, Eric, is you an that's what's wrong. Nobody ever treated me like you do an nobody ever talked to me like you do and nobody ever acted like they like me like you do. All I ever, ever want is to be with you Eric. All I ever want is to care about you an to know that you care about me. You make me happy alla time an I want to try and make you happy."

"This isn't what a contract is spossta be like. I just know that when the year is over and my contract is over everybody's gonna be sayin 'happy new year' to each other. But not to me, Eric, cause Now is 3; THIS is 3; my happy year an when it's over I can't help it 3; I'm gonna be sooo sad."

He was crying softly and he lay back down with his beautiful little head on my chest.

"I'm sorry Eric. Please don't be mad 3; I'll never talk like this again."

Tell him! Tell him NOW! the familiar voice screamed in my head. Yes! I finally 3; FINALLY agreed.

I sat up abruptly taking him with me so that he was inadvertently sitting on my completely flaccid cock and looking directly into my face. HIS face 3; his beautiful little face! I took it between my hands and gazed for a moment into his moist stunning blue green eyes.

"Sean, you'll NEVER talk like that again because you'll never have to. I hope for you that EVERY New Year turns out to be a hundred times happier than the one before it and I'm going to do everything I can to make certain that happens. I want to care for you and watch you grow day after day."

He was staring at me, his eyes blinking in confusion. He didn't understand what I was saying.

Just tell the poor kid asshole! screamed my inner voice.

"Sean, forget all about contracts and clients and all that 3; CRAP. I'm your friend! I'm not your client. There is no more contract. You are NEVER going back to that place 3; to the NEST. Unless you don't choose to, you're going to stay with us 3; with me 3; forever."

He just looked at me. There were large pools of water welling in his big wide opened eyes and for the longest time I was afraid he hadn't comprehended what I'd just told him and then the tears began to slowly roll down his cheeks and his lower lip trembled. He reached out his little hand 3; it was trembling as he touched my face as softly as a butterfly.

"E-E-Eric, don't be mean. Please don't fool me! I said I was sorry."

My hands were at his waist and slowly stroking his taut little ass cheeks.

"Little man, I'm not fooling. I've never been more serious in my life. I want you with me and I hope that's what you want too."

"I 3; I gedda stay? I gedda stay with you for always?" his little body was as tight as a spring and his arms and shoulders were shaking.

"Eric 3; Eric! For truly real? For TRULY?"

"For TRULY, little man!" and I pulled him tightly to me.

He buried his face into my neck and shoulder and I could feel him heave as his body was wracked with sobs. We stayed that way for at least a half an hour, until exhausted, I lay down still holding him close. His sobs subsided into cute little squeaks in between the unmistakable sound of him trying to suck the snot back up into his nose.

I sat up and slipped off of the bed still grasping him to me and carried him into the bathroom. Sitting him up onto the smooth stone vanity counter I ran a cloth under lukewarm water and gently washed his face while he sat there limp and hiccupping.

I bent down and kissed him tenderly and he smiled up at me 3; the most magnificent of all of his many magnificent smiles.

"Are you alright?" I cupped his cheek in my hand.

"I'm better than alright, Eric. Promise you wasn't foolin?"

"Promise."

"So, I'm really gonna be your boy alla time?"

"All the time. You're going to be my boy 3; my Sean."

Smiling, he reached out and wrapped his arms around my neck pulling himself up and off the vanity and wrapped his legs around my waist. I carried him into the bedroom like that. Once we were beneath the covers, he threw an arm and a leg across my body and pulled himself against me tightly.

"We'll talk a whole lot more in the morning. You're exhausted, goodnight, my little Sean."

His warm little body jerked from a residual hiccup. "Nite 3; .MY Eric."

And like that 3; he was fast asleep.

Chapter 24

There is a legend concerning a young Indian brave who consulted with the tribal medicine man. "Wise one," he asked "How should I best deal with the faults I see in another?"

The aged sage blew a puff of smoke from his pipe and said, "Never criticize another man without first walking all morning over a road of sharp stones wearing his moccasins."

"Ah, and this will give me some insight into his thinking and motives?"

"No 3; but then, when you DO criticize him, you'll have a half day head start AND he'll be barefoot when he runs after you along a road of sharp stones.

My first perception was that two gleaming chunks of turquoise were hovering freely in front of me. As my vision cleared and wakefulness took control of my senses, I realized that these were not floating turquoise; they were his stunning blue/green eyes looking down into my face. He was smiling and his smile was so glorious it made my heart sing with happiness.

"Mornin' Eric! I'm so glad you're awake! This is our special day today cause this is the first day I know I don't gotta go back to the NEST!"

"This is MY happy day! This is MY happy new year! I've been thinkin' about it all morning 3; wish me Happy New Year, Eric! Wish me Happy New Year!"

He was sitting on my stomach wiggling and bouncing and my bladder was sending me urgent signals of distress.

"Happy New Year, little man! Tell me, is it your New Year resolution to cause me to pee the bed?"

"Oh I already went pee, hours ago Eric."

"Well 3; I 3; did 3; NOT!" I growled as I lifted him off of me and, tucking his wiggling little body under my arm, I marched into the bathroom.

"Muuuuch better!" I sighed as I shook the dew from the lily. "And NOW 3; good morning Sean." I leaned down and kissed him lovingly.

I knelt down so that we were more or less eye to eye and reached out and stroked his neck and shoulders. "You know we've got so much we need to talk about don't you Sean?"

He took my hand and pulled me to my feet and tugged me toward the shower.

"Yeah, I know Eric but 3; PLEASE, not today. Not on my most happy day. Today can't we just have fun an be together and stuff?"

I lifted him up into a hug.

"You're so wise for such a little guy! Of course we can! I guess we've got a very long time to talk about things since you're not going anywhere."

He grinned and giggled and rubbed his nose against mine Eskimo style as I carried him into the shower. It wasn't our sybaritic shower at Joyous Gaurde but it was big enough for us both and we were like two joyful children on the first day of summer vacation.

We soaped each others body, almost more for the pleasure of touching as for the actual mechanics of washing.

As we toweled ourselves dry, I realized that we had been laughing spontaneously and almost nonstop for at least 20 minutes.

Hand in hand we walked back into the bedroom and soon we were rolling on the bed kissing passionately. The room was filled with our sounds of wordless ardor.

Breaking our kiss I sat up and muttered, "I'll be right back." I jumped from the bed and ran back into the bathroom and seized the bottle of complementary moisturizing skin lotion the lodge provided.

Back on the bed, I smiled mischievously down at him and filled my palm with the thick cream. I slowly grasped his little cock in my now greasy hand and began a slow rhythmic stroking motion. The little tool became erect at once.

He looked up me with a naughty expression and said, "Do the massage thing Eric 3; please"

I had to think for a second before I realized what he meant. Greasing up the index finger of my left hand, I pressed against his little sphincter. He instinctively pulled his knees up toward his chest and, with a slight twist of my highly lubricated finger, I was past the little gate and into his hot silky smoothness.

Within moments I located his little magic button and began to caress it tenderly and cyclically, as I recommenced stroking his cock matching the pace of my probing finger.

Very quickly he was writhing on the bed eyes closed tightly breathing and moaning through his open mouth.

I sensed the nearness of his climax and built my twin stokes into a rapid crescendo causing him to buck and twist as he cried out his pleasure.

I kissed him as he came down from his high and then wiped him clean with a towel.

He started to sit up saying, "Now my turn to do you."

But I pushed him back onto the bed and stroked his sweaty brow. "Nope. This is your special day, little Sean 3; it's all about you."

***

"Shhhh." I was stooping low and held up my hand to stop him from walking any further. Holding a finger to my lips to signal silence I pointed up ahead.

They stood in a natural clearing, bathed in the filtered light of the morning sun descending through the trees. We were upwind but I suspect she knew we were nearby. The safety afforded by being in a National Park had suppressed her natural caution but she still maintained a healthy apprehension and her soft black nose twitched rapidly as she took our scent and worked upon a choice of action.

Nearby, her twin children 3; more yearlings now than fawns 3; sensed their mother's wariness and stood frozen, awaiting a signal from her.

Sean was statue still on the path, his mouth opened with wonder as he gazed rapt at the almost magical sight. He and I each took one slow cautious step closer and the adult deer's ears twitched radar-like as she stared at us.

Together, we carefully took another step being as soft and silent as possible. This pushed the limits of her comfort level and, without a sound the doe bounded off into the black green darkness of the forest followed at once by the two youngsters. In a moment, all that remained in the clearing ahead of us was the sunlight and the silence.

"Wow! Did you see that Eric? That was the most wonderful thing I've ever ever seen! That was so beautiful! Thanks for bringing me here I never thought I'd ever see somethin' like that."

We had been taking a short hike into the woods to look at a stand of very old trees called 'the six sages' 3; the oldest in the park. These were on our short list of sights to see today. The unexpected sighting of the little family of deer was one of those wonderfully serendipitous moments that could never have been planned and never again quite duplicated.

"See Eric, I TOLD you this was my happiest day. It just keeps getting better."

I hugged him tightly to me and decided this action was sufficient. No words could possibly improve this moment. We continued down the trail in satisfied silence each occasionally catching the other as we secretly stole glances and exchanged approving smiles.

***

That evening, after dinner, we again sat naked in the turbulent foam of the hot tub. He was in my lap and I had my arms wrapped around him as we talked without any hidden anxiety or fear. All day his conversation had been candid, excited and relaxed.

"I'm rememberin' more about the stuff that happened back there at the swim meet Eric. Some of it is confusing and some of it is still like only part of something. Do you understand?"

"Yes, I think I do. Do you want to talk about any of it Sean?"

"Well, I remember one time in the cave with Kyle 3; I told you about being in the cave with Kyle 3; I was worried about something and I was gonna cry but Kyle 3; he said something funny. He said 'don't worry Walter is takin care of it.' Isn't that a funny thing to say Eric? I don't know what Walter had to do with anything but the next time was when Kyle told me it was al right cause you were there 3; but somehow, I seem to feel like Walter was there too 3; it's all very funny."

I squeezed him to me tighter and kissed the top of his head. "Maybe you've got to wait for more of the memories to come back Sean and then, perhaps, it will make more sense." I had purposely not told him very much about the kidnapping or his subsequent rescue preferring to wait and see what memories came forward on their own.

I could feel him nod his head in agreement.

"There's something else," he said very softly almost in a whisper.

"What's that Sean?"

"Remember when I told you that I remembered walking to the pool for the medley and I had this feeling that I wanted to say something to you but instead I blew you a kiss and waved?"

"Yes, Sean, I remember and I also remember you doing that."

"Well I remember what I was thinking and what I was gonna say to you Eric."

"What was that Sean?"

"You know, I told you that Professor Swaim has been workin with me about all my feelings right?"

"Yes Sean."

"Well, I was thinking that I wanted to tell you I loved you but there wasn't time to do that before the race so..I blew you a kiss."

I felt as though my heart had stopped. I felt a rush of heat in my temples and my mouth was suddenly dry. "W-what did you say Sean?"

"I wanted to tell you I loved you, Eric."

I raised him from my lap, turned him around to face me and grasped his shoulders. "Do you 3; do you understand what you just said Sean? Do you understand what that means?"

"Yes, of course I do Eric. I've known how I feel about you for a long time I just didn't know what to call it. Eric, love is something you don't have to have a name for to feel. Does that make any sense?"

"Then, Sean, does that mean you understand what I'm feeling when I've told you that I love you?"

I could see him smiling even in the dim light of the terrace. "Yeah, I was just so afraid to believe it was true cause, Eric, I've loved you for such a long time an I couldn't understand how you could love me back. I'm just a little kid."

I pulled him close to me.

"But, you're MY little kid. I think you've always been MY little kid. Somehow we found each other and we chose each other and, now we know that we love each other. Come on 3; let's go inside it's freezing out here."

I wrapped him in his robe and carried him into the cabin.

Later in the darkness we lay close touching and kissing. We were in the lazy, dreamy state that comes upon you after the completion of giving and receiving pleasure. We had ministered to each other slowly and lovingly. He had, over time, become able to take more of my penis into his mouth and had become adept at bringing me to a wonderful climax always swallowing my load.

I had pointed out the signs of hair that were just beginning to display themselves at the base of his tiny cock and mentioned that before very long he would probably begin to ejaculate himself. I whispered to him how much I was looking forward to tasting his little boy juice for the first time. This made him smile with pleasure.

"Eric 3; this is what peace is huh?"

"What do you mean Sean?"

He was caressing my cheek with his little hand while he slowly undulated his hips absentmindedly rubbing his still hard cock against my hip.

"I mean for me 3; not being afraid of going back, knowing how you feel about me, knowing how I feel about you 3; not-not being afraid of what's gonna happen or what's gonna be 3; that's peace isn't it?"

I reached down and cupped his slowly moving little ass in my hand and rubbed it softly and lovingly. "Yes Sean, that's peace. I think we've both found it in each other 3; it's a wonderful gift that we've now shared."

I pulled him up my body and our lips locked in a deep, passionate kiss. I relished the feel of his little tongue probing and darting in my mouth as our hands roamed over each others body anticipating the pleasure of a passionate touch.

We napped rather than slept; neither of us wanting the magic of the day to actually end. Eventually, I suggested that we pack up and head out well before dawn. I wanted desperately to get him home but at the same time, I still wanted him to see the ocean during this short little trip of ours.

I'd left a note for Chris at the front desk thanking him for all of his good service and reminding him to contact me after graduation. We were on the road and well on our way long before the sun rose behind us.

We drove like children, Sean with his hand on my leg as we played guessing games with the songs we picked up on the radio. Stopping for what passed for breakfast and lunch as well as one pee-break greatly needed by both of us.

We pulled into the picturesque little coastal town of Santa Anunciation a bit before 7:00 am. I drove directly to the harbor and located the pier belonging to the whale-watch cruise boats.

I notice one smaller boat belonging to 'Fluke and Fin' tours and arranged for a private cruise. We were going to have the whole boat to ourselves when we noticed a group of about 16 little boys and girls with their two adult chaperones and realized this must be a small school group. They were obviously carefully checking the prices for the various cruises posted along the sidewalk.

They looked to be from not so well-off families and the price of a tour, even at a discounted rate, would probably be a significant expense for them.

I don't know how Sean picked up on this but he did and he looked at me with an expression that was, in itself, all the question that he needed to ask. I nodded to him and he walked over to the woman who seemed to be in charge of the group. I stayed behind and watched as they spoke. Sean was gesturing, pointing to the boat and then to me.

Finally walking beside Sean, the woman approached me and said, "Your son has offered us free passage on this boat for a whale watching tour. Is this true?"

"Yes it is. We've got this entire vessel rented and I think the adventure would be much more fun to share, don't you?"

"The children have worked very hard to raise the money to pay for this trip so I would gladly pay you Mr. 3;"

"That is not necessary. Perhaps the children can use their money for something else at another time. My name is Eric Tucker and Sean is my ward. Please call us Eric and Sean."

Smiling she extended her hand. "You are very kind Mr. 3; Eric I am Maria Velacruse 3; Maria please, and this is my associate Nita Ramirez 3; the children 3; well, let's try to introduce them catch as catch can, eh?"

As the little ship left the harbor and worked its way out to open water I got to know the two ladies while Sean injected himself into the group of excited second graders.

I discovered that they were a third grade class from a small Catholic School from a little town about 30 miles inland and this was their big field trip for the year. They worked for months to raise enough money. They were poor people but very happy and all came from loving, hardworking families.

Maria and Nita pointed each of the children out in turn proudly sharing information about each.

The children, on the other hand, were completely absorbed in watching over the rails as the ship plied the water and already it seemed they were all infatuated with Sean who seemed content to joke and talk with them.

Soon the ship was ringing with the sound of happy children's laughter and it became infectious even so far as to carry over to the small crew of the ship.

I watched in pleasurable amusement but, as I did so, my mind roamed, finally settling on thoughts that had been formulating in the back of my mind for some time. They were thoughts about the NEST.

It had been sometime since I could think of the NEST benignly any longer. I was developing the idea that it was not enough to have saved Sean and young Jack from their evil mandated sexual servitude. Somehow I was beginning to feel that I must do something for all the boys 3; now, and in the future.

At the moment, that thought was too complicated and too unwelcome and so I pushed it to the recesses of my brain concentrating upon the beautiful things before me.

The cruise was an astonishing success. We spotted twelve humpbacked whales seven grey whales, a pod of orcas and were followed and entertained for about a half an hour by an acrobatic troupe of dolphins.

By the time the little ship pulled back to her berth, we were all sunburned, tired and joyful friends.

At the dock we posed for a group picture and I made certain that I'd entered contact information for Maria and Nita into my phone. They were going to be surprised in a week or so by an anonymous donation to the school. Before they got into their bus, each of the children bid me a very polite goodbye and required a hug and a kiss from Sean.

"What a neat day that was, Eric!" he said, his white teeth sparkled against his sun burnished skin and his hair whipped wildly in the wind.

***

As we sat at our table in the waterfront seafood restaurant, Sean bubbled on about the cruise. He kept changing his mind over which was 'neater' the grey whales or the humpbacks nor could he decide which were prettier, the dolphins or the killer whales but he knew that they were all 'cool'.

"Eric, did you hear the captain tell us the notches on the fluke of a whale are all different? No two are alike 3; they're like finger prints!"

"Yes, little man. Actually I already knew that."

"Yeah but did you hear him tell us that a whale's brain is never completely asleep 3; that some part of it is always awake so that it remembers to come up to the surface to breath even when the rest of the whale is sleepin?"

"Yep I heard that Sean. Tell me, are YOU going to come up for breath or are you going to talk on and on all night?"

He broke into a huge grin and with his eyes twinkling he said, "It's just that I had so much fun and that all I can think of is how lucky I am that you picked me cause I love you so much!"

I grinned back and reached across the table to pat his hand. "I'm the lucky one, Sean and 3; remember that night that seems so long ago 3; we picked each other."

"Eric, are we always gonna be this happy?"

"I don't know, Sean. Probably not always. Life is long and it's full of things that happen. Not everything that happens is going to always make either you or me happy. What I DO hope, though, is that if we always love each other, then we won't be so bothered by the unhappy things when they come along. Make sense?"

He nodded his head thoughtfully. "Yeah. Makes sense."

We were walking back to our hotel along the waterfront. A hundred yards away in the dim light, the dark sea crashed rhythmically against the rocky shore while above us the crescent moon was partially obscured by a dark wisp of a cloud. The acrid iodine smell of the sea and the shore filled the air pungently as we strolled along. Actually, if I were being truly accurate, I strolled. He danced and pranced like a little race horse.

"I've got to call Walter and the Professor when we get back to our suite Sean. Do you want to tell them our news?"

"Yeah can I? Do you think they'll be happy? Do you think they'll be glad that I'm stayin?"

"I don't know how you can even ask that, little man. I guarantee you that they'll be delighted to learn that you're staying but I'll tell you something else. I don't think they're going to be very surprised."

He looked up at me curiously but apparently decided not to press the point.

***

I was standing on the balcony of our sea-shore hotel suite talking on my cell phone while Sean sat on one of the lounge chairs knees pulled up to his chest and his chin resting on his knees as he watched me attentively.

" 3; yes, so I figure if we don't hit any traffic or other delays, we should pull through the gate around 1:30 3; 2 o'clock at the latest. Oh and warn Martha that we probably won't catch lunch on the road so we'll most likely both be starving by the time we get there.Now 3; both of you stay on the line. I've got somebody here who wants to tell you something."

I offered my phone to Sean. "It's both Walter and the Professor," I said in a muted voice He took the phone and raised it to his ear.

"Hello 3; Hi Walter, Hi Dr. Swaim it's me Sean. Uh huh, uh huh. Fine 3; I'm feelin good thanks. Yeah real good." "Hey, listen 3; guess what? No 3; guess what Eric told me 3; no, no not THAT 3; he told me that I'M NOT NEVER GOIN BACK TO THE NEST!!! Not NEVER! I'm staying with him and with you guys forever! Yeah 3; yeah 3; THANKS! Me too! I can't wait to get back home and see you guys 3; to see everybody! Yeah 3; uh huh. OK see you tomorrow bye 3; I mean NITE!"

He was wearing a large 'Sean smile' as he handed the phone back to me but as I looked in the dim light, there seemed to be a trace of a tear in his eyes.

"T-they both said they're REAL happy 3; and they're proud of me and that they 3; that they love me and can't wait for me to be home. HOME Eric 3; we're really and truly goin' HOME!"

I ruffled his hair and steered him inside.

"Let's turn in a bit early little man. We didn't get much sleep last night and I'd like to leave pretty early in the morning. The sooner we leave here, the sooner we get home 3; our HOME."

***

He had been bouncing in his seat like a little jumping bean since he'd first recognized where we were. "We're REALLY close, ERIC! We won't be long now!"

As we pulled up to the gate I noticed at once that there had been some changes made. The brick guardhouse that had been largely ornamental 3; used only during rare large formal gatherings at the mansion 3; was now manned by a uniformed attendant.

He stepped out and approached my window which I lowered as he came near.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Tucker. Welcome back. Welcome back, Master Sean."

"Thank you 3; err 3; do you work for me?"

"Yes sir. I'm Richard."

"Have you worked for me very long 3; Richard?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes Sir."

Thinking for a moment, I asked, "Are you a Skuggor Richard?"

"Skugga sir."

"Excuse me?"

"Skuggor is plural, Sir. One is a Skugga and 3; yes Sir I am. I'll open the gate Sir."

"Thank you 3; Richard." It was only as he turned to reenter the gatehouse and open the gate that I noticed the big Glock 18 hanging on his belt.

We pulled up to the front door and I stepped out of the red Escalade. Walter was on the steps to meet us. "Welcome back Sir."

Walter was in 'official mode' again it would seem. "I'm sorry about the surprise at the gate, it will become considerably less obtrusive shortly but I'm revamping security pretty much across the board. That 3; man 3; did us a bit of a favor by catching us with our pants down because we've done some self-examination and identified some weakness. But we can talk about that later Sir, there are more important things at hand right now."

So saying, he did a most un-Walter like thing. He turned to Sean and dropped to his knee reaching out he pulled the startled boy to him in a tight emotional hug. In a husky voice he said,"Welcome home lad. You are so very, very welcomed here."

He held the hug for a long minute before breaking it and rising to his feet.

"Thanks, Walter" responded Sean with a smile as he tenderly stroked the man's hand.

Regaining his decorum, Walter turned to me again. "I'll have your luggage brought upstairs and we'll have the Escalade dropped off at the agency this afternoon."

"Thanks Walter," I said with a mile as I grasped his arm and affectionately squeezed it.

***

"Mrs. Edwards! Mrs. Edwards!" he was almost flying into the kitchen. Martha spun around from the counter she'd been working at and beaming she opened her arms wide to welcome him into her hug. He ran to her and was at once enfolded in her love.

"Guess what Mrs. Edward's; guess what 3; I'm never leavin here! I'm gonna stay here forever and ever!"

She was openly weeping as she rocked him round and round and muttered unintelligible but loving sounds. "Oh, my darling boy! My darling little boy! What a blessing! What a wonderful blessing!"

After a few minutes she pushed him back and held him at arm's length smiling and shaking her head. "Oh what a happy day! Now you two 3; give me twenty minutes and I'll have a nice lunch ready for you 3; you both shoo now!"

"Can we go tell John now?" Sean asked looking up at me anxiously.

"I think we'd be in big trouble if we didn't," I was smiling as I started for the door.

"John! John! Are you in here?" Sean was gazing around the long garage building but couldn't see our friend.

"I'm under here; I'll be right out!" The familiar cheerful voice was coming from under a red classic MG TD that was raised up on wheel jacks off to one corner. His smiling face popped up and soon he was walking toward us wiping his hands on a shop cloth.

"You're back, Seano, and you look as good as new! Did you guys have a nice drive down? How was the weather? Did you like the National Park? How about the whale watching did you see many? I hope so. They're really something to see aren't they?"

I knew that he was deliberately not giving Sean a chance to tell him his news and the smile on his face got larger and larger as the frustrated little boy tried so hard to be polite.

"Johhhhhhhhhn! John 3; wait a second, I gotta tell you my news!"

"What news, Seano?" He was trying so hard to appear ignorant but he wasn't a very good actor.

The little boy grabbed John's large hand and almost jumping with excitement he said, "John guess what? I gedda stay here for always! I'm NEVER going back to the NEST 3; NEVER!"

With a loud happy whoop, John raised the boy up and tossed him lightly into the air catching him and swinging him around. "That's just about the best news I've ever heard, kiddo! I'm so happy!"

Sean was laughing and squealing as the big man tossed him into the air a second time. Very soon the three of us were laughing with happiness.

***

That night I held him in my arms as we lay in OUR bed. Nothing had ever felt so right but, even in this rush of happiness, I realized there was still one final issue to be settled between us and I wanted it done sooner than later.

"Now my sweet little boy," I whispered to him. "We STILL have a great deal to talk about and I think tomorrow you and I are going out to Fish Camp to have a long conversation with Doctor Swaim."

"Kay Eric 3; but I STILL gedda stay here right?"

"Of course silly. Remember you told me you weren't ever going to worry about that again, right? What we have to talk about is more personal but very very important but it's NOTHING to worry about. Now give me a kiss and go to sleep."

He rolled over onto me and kissed me tenderly before rolling onto his side one arm and one leg thrust across my body. "Nite Eric," he murmured "I love you."

"I love you too, my little Sean. Sleep tight."

He was home. After all of this time 3; he was HOME.

Chapter 25

When we sway and move our bodies to a rhythm that we hear or feel 3; when we croon the words or even intone the melody of a song that has touched and then rebounded from our hearts 3; when we clap our hands or tap our feet to a cadence we have drawn from the pulse of the universe 3; we are declaring our humanity more than at any other moment.

The birds may warble and many creatures bounce and gambol about but only human beings sing and dance.

When we do, we are sharing in the joyful laughter of heaven itself for we are part of the music of eternity.

He was standing just outside of the shower entrance, his hands on his hips and his lips pursed in thought. I stood looking at him realizing that I would forever be grateful for the gift that was the sight of his naked beauty with all of its sweet perfection and impending promise.

I wondered as I looked if there hadn't been some changes. It had been almost six months since he'd first shamelessly, almost joyfully, displayed his body for me. Were those perfect legs a bit longer 3; was that sweet scrotum a bit looser 3; had that little penis grown a bit?

I'd already noticed the place where his most private hair was beginning to show, but, were his shoulders a little broader or was it all my imagination? I need to measure and weigh him I thought. I suspect he's growing before my very eyes.

My little boy stood before me unwittingly poised to leap from childhood into the next stage of life 3; the next magical change 3; that metamorphosis that would gradually but relentlessly transform my little manling into an adult. I shook my head in half wonder and half dismay.

Slow down 3; don't be in such a rush. You are the sweetness of spring now 3; you are new 3; you are fresh. Don't be in such a hurry to turn to summer.

Summer is hot, it is dry. It is fire and passion that sucks the fresh greenness to desiccation as it consumes its burning days and nights. There's time enough for that.

The time for your season in the dry, golden fields of summer is coming later. Take great care how quickly you rush to use up your newness and green lushness because, after that, comes the brown autumn and then cold white winter. It all goes so fast.

Enjoy the new and the green. Enjoy yourself, little boy, don't throw yourself so desperately into the insane race to become a man.

I wanted to say all of that to him but, of course, I didn't. Even if I had, he wouldn't have understood and besides, none of it was really within his control. I might just as well have tried to beg the sun to stop its daily journey across the sky. And so, instead, I just looked and enjoyed the sight of him 3; young and hopeful and happy.

"Eric, I don't remember whose turn it is. It seems like it's been so long."

He was referring to what we had come to call the shower music' game.

Early on we had gotten into the habit of taking turns selecting a song to be played over the bathroom sound system. The other person's task was to guess the song and provide as much information as he could about the recording. It was a game we shared and enjoyed each morning.

"Well, I do, Sport. It's your turn unless you're not up to it," I grinned as I answered him.

He returned my grin and turned to the sound system display. "You just get the water ready. I've got one for you."

I entered the shower enclosure and began adjusting the water temperature and spray when the music began to play through the overhead speakers. The haunting guitar introduction was long and bordered upon being discordant as it built teasingly.

He entered the shower and joined me under the shower heads, pressing his little body against mine in a wet highly sensuous hug. He was swaying his form against mine in perfect time to the music as his lips brushed my nipples softly, exotically and also in perfect accord to the song while he softly hummed the haunting chords. I reached down and lovingly grasped and squeezed the pliant ovals of his perfect little ass as the vocals began from the recording.

I've heard there was a secret chord That David played to please the Lord But you don't really care for music Do ya? It goes like this the fourth, the fifth The minor fall, the major lift The baffled king composing Hallelujah."

Smiling I lowered my lips to the top of his head and tenderly kissed him. Nuzzling my nose through his soft wet hair I murmured, "Good choice, Sean, the Jeff Buckley cover of Leonard Cohen's 'Hallelujah' a very good choice."

He raised his face up to me and smiled through the splashes and darting spray.

Without thought or concern, I felt my dick become erect and hard as we pressed our flesh against each other savoring the closeness and comfort. The song was long over before I reached for the body wash and worked the cleansing foam over his smooth water slick skin.

***

"You know you don't really have to do this. I can do it myself." We had just finished dressing and I was brushing his hair.

"I know you can do it and I probably should stop treating you like some helpless little kid but I like brushing your hair every now and again. Just tell me if you don't like me doing it."

"Nah, that's OK. I like when you do it, too. I like doing everything with you, Eric. It just makes me happy all the time."

I smiled and caressed his cheek with the fingers of my left hand while I lay the hair brush aside.

"There is something very important I'm going to ask you today, little man and it's something I need for you to really think about. No quick decisions Sean. It's so important that Professor Swaim is going to join us for breakfast and then we're going to meet in the library. I want him to be there when I ask you so that he can help if you've got any questions."

He grabbed my hand and clutched it tightly in both of his own; his face was tense with apprehension. "Eric, you're scarin' me. Is this gonna be something bad?"

"No, Sean, I promise. Nothing bad. I'll never intentionally ever do anything that will hurt you again I swear."

"If it's not bad, then why do we have to wait? Why can't you just ask me the question?"

I thought about it and decided he was right. Ask the question, give him time to think and then we can discuss it. A reasonable request.

"Fair enough Sean. I'll ask the question but you can't give me your answer now. I want you to think about it because I know you'll have questions of your own. So, no answers from you until all three of us have talked about it after breakfast OK?"

"Kay." His answer was subdued and his expression pensive. I wondered silently when I was going to learn not to scare this poor boy with things that I say.

I sat down on the floor and pulled him down so that he was sitting facing me. I was holding his hand and looking him in the eyes. I hoped my expression was as soft and loving as I intended it to be although I feared my trepidation was showing.

"Sean, first off please understand that whatever your answer is, I will always love you. You will never go back to the NEST. You will stay here for as long as it pleases you 3; forever if that's your desire, but I would like you to consider making our relationship more permanent than that 3; more significant 3; more life changing."

His eyebrow arched and he cocked his head slightly as if to silently indicate that he didn't understand what I was saying. I'm always screwing it up when I try to talk to him, I thought angrily to myself.

"Sean, you know how we are always saying that you're my boy?" he nodded his head affirmatively still looking at me in total confusion. "I want you to be my boy for real in the eyes of the law and the eyes of the world."

"Sean, if you agree, I want to adopt you. I want you to be my son. You've been the son of my heart and soul for a long time but I want you to consider it 3; to accept it 3; to make it completely real."

His eyes grew wide and his mouth dropped open as he sat there staring at me.

"I 3; I 3; Eric,I 3;" I pressed my finger against his lips.

"Shhh. We'll talk after breakfast remember? Let it roll around in your head so you can ask all of your questions then. Come on, let's go eat". I rose to my feet and held my hand out to him. He got up and took it with a surprised but thoughtful expression on his face.

Silently we walked together to breakfast and then (I hoped) the sealing of our future.

***

We were seated in three comfortable leather chairs in the library. Martha had outdone herself with breakfast and I felt as though I had grossly overeaten although, compared to Doc Swaim and Sean, I was a rank amateur when it came to putting away food.

The professor regarded Sean and me warmly and I couldn't suppress a smile as his black rimmed eyeglasses slid down to the tip of his nose.

"Sean, Eric has told me what he's asked of you. I must tell you I'm not surprised. I've had the pleasure of watching you two grow together almost from the beginning. You've seemed to me to be a family in spirit from the start. How are you feeling about this idea?"

He looked distressed and confused and I began to panic. He's going to reject the idea, I thought. He's going to turn me down!

But when he spoke it was more a profession of bewilderment.

"I-I don't understand what it all means. I know what the words mean but I never had a father. I never been someone's son. I've always been a NEST kid. We've got the teachers and the councilors and the proctors but never any father. What's a father do? What's a son supposed to do? I'm already born so I don't need a father for that 3; why do I haffta be adopted?"

His face was getting flushed and I could tell he was just short of crying. It dawned on me how hard it was for a little boy who had spent his entire life in the controlled atmosphere of the NEST to understand some of the more basic concepts of life in the outside world. In many ways this all must be a 'through the Looking Glass' experience for him.

I was about to speak but Doc beat me to it. Folding his large hands upon his stomach he leaned back into his chair. "Let's look at it from many different angles Sean."

"In the first place, there is the strictly material aspect of the relationship which I'm certain doesn't interest you one tiny bit but which you should be aware of because it's so very important. If you agree to be adopted, then you become Eric's legal heir. Simply put, if something were to happen to Eric and he should die, everything he owns 3; and you have no concept of how much that is 3; would then belong to you."

"I don't care about that stuff. I don't want anything to happen to Eric!"

"Oh, I'm not saying that we expect anything to happen to Eric. The fact is, I predict a long, interesting life for him and for you, Sean, but be realistic 3; you're certainly not such a child that you can't understand these things. Something DID happen to your parents when you were a baby and later, when you were very young, something happened to your grandmother. That's how you wound up at the NEST in the first place."

"You also know that something happened to Eric's Father, Mother and brother. Sometimes, things that we don't want to happen still do. If something WERE to happen to Eric, if you were his son then, he would know he was leaving everything to the person he wanted to have it. But that's just one point 3; a legal point."

"Another legal point is that, as your father, Eric would be required to take care of you, feed you, clothe you shelter you educate you 3;"

"But 3;" He leaned forward in his seat and touched my leg "But Eric does all that for me already and not cause he has to 3; because he wants to. Oh why is this happening? What did I do wrong? Why are you both trying to change everything? Why can't we just stay the same?"

He was crying now and I reached over and pulled him over to me and onto my lap. I hadn't expected this trauma. I suppose I hadn't considered it from his perspective and now he was frightened and crying and, to my shock, the Professor sat silently looking at me 3; Expecting ME to answer this frightened little boy. ME who always makes a mess out of every important thing I say to him.

I softly stroked his hair and looked down into his moist big eyes and I spoke without thinking. "Sean that's legal, that's just stuff. That's not what this is about. I'll tell you what this is about."

"Of my whole family, I'm the only one that's left. There's no one else. The same thing is true for you 3; there's no one in your family left. They're all gone. You and me we're all alone in the world 3; or at least we were."

"Before you ever knew me, I was looking for a little boy to share my life with. I didn't know it then, but I was looking for you. When I first saw your picture I felt something in my heart and when I met you for the first time I felt 3; fixed. Something deep inside me was broken badly, Sean, and you fixed it. You have made me whole again. Happy again. Alive again."

"You are an extension of my life. You're as much a part of me as you could possibly be, even if you were my own flesh and blood." "I want to be a father to you Sean. I want to be there for you. I want to watch you grow. I want you to know I'm always there to support you and encourage you 3; to love you no matter what."

"I want to try and catch you when you stumble and fall and to comfort you when I can't. I want to laugh with you when you're happy and be strong for you when you're sad. I want to have answers for you when you have questions and questions for you when you grow too sure of yourself."

"I want to help you to become the man you are destined to be. I want to guide you but not push you. I want to suggest and never demand. I want to encourage you to become your own person 3; to think your own thoughts 3; adhere to your own principles. I want to help you in your search for yourself but I never want to stand in the way or be a hindrance in your discovery."

"And if, in the course of time, that journey of discovery should lead you away from my protection and out of my shadow, I want to love you enough to smile and encourage you to go."

"I want to show you the stars Sean but I want you to choose the one that you'll follow."

"That's what I think a father is, Sean. That's what my father was to me and that's what I want to be to you. If your love for me allows you to accept that then adoption will make us a family and we won't be alone in this world anymore."

He'd stopped crying and was looking at me 3; his long dark wet lashes blinking occasionally were his only movement. I glanced across at the professor and saw that he was smiling and nodding his head.

"I love you Eric. I wish things could stay the same," he whispered.

I rubbed the tear tracks from his cheeks with my thumb and with a little smile I answered, "If I could cast a magic spell and keep you a little boy 3; keep you 11-years-old just like you are 3; as much as my heart would love for me to do it, I wouldn't."

"Because Sean, you've got to grow and become what you were born to become. Change is nothing to be afraid of Sean. Change occurs constantly 3; in fact change is going on while you're sitting around waiting for something to happen."

"I won't always agree with everything that you do. I probably won't like everything you do but, if I love you and you love me, then, in the end, there will be understanding. Where there is love, there's always understanding. Where there is love, there is always a solution. Most important Sean 3; whatever change may bring, we'll be a family and we'll have each other."

Doctor Swaim stood up and strode over to the fireplace a placed his large hand upon the marble mantle. "Sometimes, we need mottoes to remind us of things that should always have been obvious. Eric, your great grandfather, Herbert Tucker, who first forged the family fortune, built this marvelous estate and gave it its name of 'Joyous Gaurde'. He spelled it wrong, by the way, but I never bothered pointing that out to your father. He also adopted a motto for your family 3; hopefully soon to be your family as well, Sean, so both of you, come here and look at this 3; your family motto carved in stone."

I'd forgotten all about it. It had been so long since I'd even paid attention although I realized I'd known about it since I was a child. Carved neatly into the marble were the words, 'NOLI TIMERE' 3; I remembered now,"

"Nolly timur 3; what's that mean?" Sean asked looking up at the big man.

Smiling he replied, "It's Latin and its pronounced 'know-lee tim-air- eh' and it means 'Do not be afraid' 3; pretty good advice for a boy, for a man 3; for a family I'd say."

"Listen you two. Fear of change is one of the most common and yet silliest fears known to man. What a sad boring world this would be without change, Sean. Think about what we've studied recently 3; without change there would be no butterflies. It would be a world full of caterpillars!"

"What a wonderful exciting opportunity to experience the wonders of a changing world together."

"Oh, guys, along the way there will be tears and there will be laughter. There will be great joy but most certainly there will be sadness as well. There will be anger and there will be confusion but also much satisfaction and pleasure. The road will not be straight and the way will not always be easy but you'll have each other and the mighty armor that is your love to protect you on the journey."

He strode down the length of the room and pulled back the drapery from the window.

"Outside these walls. beyond the fence 3; all around you 3; is the world. It's filled with all kinds of things; wonderful and terrible things. It awaits you, guys 3; don't be afraid. Do not EVER be afraid."

I felt his little hand slip into mine and I looked down at him he was smiling even though one new large tear was slowly rolling down his cheek. "I'll try to be as good a son to you as I know you're going to be a father to me Eric."

That was it. I lost it. I dropped to my knees and hugged him tightly to me and wept into his soft dark hair. He whispered something into my ear. I didn't understand him. "What?" I asked through my sobs.

"Noli Timere," he said, louder this time. "I love you Eric. Do not be afraid."

Chapter 26

It is strange that some of us fear endings because we look upon them as the termination of something familiar and hopefully good. Others fear beginnings because we see them as the threshold into the unknown.

What a silly source of melancholy when all one has to do is to realize that endings are simply transitions into new beginnings and beginnings are simply where we start off from after stepping past an ending.

Life, you see, is a circle there are no real endings or beginning only the ever spinning road.

I was seated in one of the overstuffed leather chairs in the library having just returned from rinsing off my face and gratefully sipped the peaty amber liquid from the glass I'd just accepted from the professor.

Sean had asked to be allowed to leave and share the momentous news with Walter, Martha and John and I had of course, sent him off with my enthusiastic blessings. This would allow me an opportunity to recover from my unexpectedly emotional reaction to his acceptance of the proposed adoption and also afford me time alone to talk with my wise friend.

Although it was still morning, the big man had proposed a toast and I had accepted without the slightest hesitation.

I glanced at him ruefully across the top of my glass.

"Nice of you to leave me hanging out to dry like that Doc. I bring you into this discussion for moral and emotional support and when he starts asking questions, all you can come up is a list of legalities leaving me to stammer and blunder my way through the REAL explanations."

He smiled broadly and leaned forward towards me causing the antique upholstery in his chair to creak, protesting the movement of his bulk. "Eric, what he wanted to hear 3; what he NEEDED to hear had to come from his father NOT from his tutor and I must tell you that you did very well in that regard."

"In a few short minutes, you summed up fatherhood and family as well as I've ever heard it done and you certainly put things into perspective for Sean. Did you see the love and joy on his face when you'd finished?"

"While I'm certain he still has questions about the future, he certainly no longer has any fear. Why Eric, he practically danced out of this room. I couldn't have done that for him. Only you could and you did!"

I leaned back into the chair and let that sink in and I felt a smile slowly come across my face as I realized that he was right. By some miracle I had indeed said the right things to my confused and anxious little boy and he had accepted my open and vulnerable emotion-filled offer happily.

My gaze traversed across the room and settled upon the mantelpiece with its carved marble. NOLI TIMERE 3; now the words fairly flew out at me.

"Thank you for reminding me about my great grandfather's motto, Doc. I guess it's been there in front of my nose for so long that I'd forgotten it."

"That motto was not something just for your great grandfather Eric. He intended it for his entire family 3; for his generations yet unborn 3; for you."

I nodded and got up from my chair indicating that he should finish his drink and hand me his glass.

While I busied myself at the antique bar in the corner, I rubbed my finger thoughtfully along the dark ancient wood and decided to share my latest thoughts with him.

"Doc, lately, there's been something else on my mind that I'd like to bounce off of you." I handed him his whiskey and water and sat back down across from him.

"The joy and the love that have been the result of having Sean in my life are causing me to think about the NEST. I think its evil, Doc and it's got to be destroyed."

"When I think that there, but for fortune, in a few years little Sean would be going out on contracts 3; nah call it what it is 3; turning tricks for those people , it makes me sick to my stomach and then, morally I've got to think about the other boys 3; the ones who are still there who are being subjected to this horror or will be when they're old enough."

I looked up at him and he was staring at me intently. Somehow his black rimmed glasses hadn't slid down his nose this time making him appear serious and sage. He was circling the rim of his drink tumbler with his index finger and was gently but perceptively chewing on his lower lip.

"Well Eric, you've known my feelings about that particular institution for many years 3; long before Sean ever entered your life and I'm of course pleased that you have recognized the utter wrongness of the ordeal they oblige these bright, wonderful boys to submit to for three or four years of their lives 3; these being among the most important and formative few years in a boy's development I might add."

Having said that, I must caution you against wielding a 'sword of righteous wrath' and destroying the Academy totally and without hope of salvation. Pardon me for waxing Biblical here, it's a bad habit of mine but 3; you've heard the old expression; 'throwing the baby out with the bath water'? That's what you risk doing if you set about destroying the school as reprisal for their transgressions and do not take into account their many positive, useful and important accomplishments over the past sixty some years."

"Just as a case in point Eric, I submit that our little Sean would not be nearly the bright accomplished wonderful boy that he is had he been subject to the normal system of foster homes 3; even adoption that exists in the world ready to swallow up and process any young orphan child not lucky enough to have qualified and been taken into the extraordinary environment of the NEST. Your soon-to-be son might very well have turned out a good looking but uneducated simple-minded dullard."

"I'm pleased at your initial resolve to strike out against evil, Eric, but I caution you to take great care and engage in serious study and evaluation before you act."

This was not the reaction that I'd expected from him and I told him so. But he led me to understand the correctness of what he was saying. I realized that during the conversation I had unconsciously begun mirroring him and that I was engaged in running my finger around the rim of my own glass. This silly recognition snapped me out of my reverie and I stood up extending my hand for his glass again.

"You're right of course," I said to him. "I must be getting older after all if I'm able to understand that, with minor exceptions, there are few things in this world that are all evil or all good, eh?"

He just smiled and nodded.

"This can wait until after Sean's birthday. I'm hoping to adopt him on that very day. Sometime afterward, I'll call a Council of War." Grinning at him I added, "I always wanted to be a hero in one of those great stories you tell."

***

It was the early afternoon and we were floating on our backs, naked and lazy, doing easy almost languid back stroke laps of the pool.

"Eric 3; after I'm adopted and I'm your kid and all, I can still sleep in bed with you can't I?"

"Of course you can, Sean; nothing has to change until when and if you want it to. What you've got to learn is that there are no unusual expectations being placed upon you any more. You will do what you want to do as long as it's reasonable and doesn't hurt anyone. You can continue to share my bed as long as you want to but, when you have the urge or the need to stop and to move into your own room and even share your own bed with someone else, that will be just as fine and just as acceptable. I mean, I'll miss you in my bed 3; I'll probably have to get a dog or something to keep me warm 3;"

There was a moment of silence as he thought that over and then he began to giggle so hard that I was afraid he might begin swallowing the chlorinated water. I swam over to him and he wrapped his arms around my neck as I moved us both to the shallow end of the pool.

He'd enfolded his legs around my waist and was nuzzling my neck and cheek with his lips and nose. "An what about the 3; you know 3; the sex stuff? Can we still do that?"

"Well, that's a bit more complicated because our relationship is a lot more complicated than you'd see in a normal adoption or between a normal father and son."

"We've always kept that part of our connection with each other private and I see no reason why it shouldn't stay that way. We've been doing the sex stuff longer than we've admitted that we loved each other and certainly before I realized that I wanted to adopt you. I don't think it would be fair to just stop. Once a bell has been rung; you can't un-ring it. I must tell you that I don't see it going much further than it has, at least not as long as you're a little boy. When you've grown and if we still feel THAT way, then it could happen but if it does or if it doesn't, it's completely unimportant. What we've been doing, we can continue doing."

"But Sean, ultimately I think it's going to be just like the issue of what bed you sleep in. You're going to grow and you're going to change and once you get that NEST mentality out of your head, you're going to realize that what you do sexually doesn't have to please me 3; it has to please you. You'll almost certainly reach a point where you want to experiment with other people 3; to share pleasure with other people. You'll probably find your self drawn more and more to people closer to your own age. This is all normal and it's all good and, as your father, I promise to encourage that, not stand in your way."

"But Eric 3; you're not so old!"

I smiled and leaned in and kissed him. "Actually, in the overall scope of things, I'm not. I was only 16 when you were born and I'm not yet 30 but I'm older than you. Aand anyway, that's not my point. My point is that you must learn that the choices are yours and yours alone. My job as, your father, will be to guide you and try to help ensure that the choices you make are good ones and safe ones. But Sean, you're not a NEST boy out on contract. You have no obligation to do anything that doesn't please you 3; that isn't what you want."

He was looking at me with those stunning blue/green eyes fixed wide and his dark thick lashes with tiny drops of water seemed unblinking. I couldn't help it; I leaned down and kissed him again.

"Besides, I've been thinking that just because I'm gay and just because the NEST brought you up to think and act gay, the odds are pretty strong that you're NOT. Hell Sean, in just a few years you may find yourself attracted to girls and THEN my trouble as a father will start!"

I laughed because he'd crinkled up his little nose at the mention of girls. I ran a hand down to his taut little ass and squeezed. "Gosh Sean 3; someday you may marry some pretty little girl and make me a grandfather!"

"Euwwwwwwww!" he exclaimed and returned to nuzzling my neck.

"So 3; what am I supposed to call you when I'm adopted?"

"Whatever you're comfortable with, Sean. Remember from our very first day together there was only one rule 3; no calling me 'Sir' and you haven't had any problem with that have you?"

"No." He looked up into my face smiling. "Maybe I'll just try out different things and see what we like huh?"

"That sounds like a great idea and, speaking of that, I'm hoping that once you're adopted, you'll choose to take on my family name of Tucker."

A curious look came over his face. "I never thought about that Eric. I never had no name but Sean."

That startled me and, in shock, I realized we'd never discussed it and apparently it had never been discussed during his seven years at the NEST. I lifted him up and sat him at the edge of the pool. We were almost eye to eye now.

"Of course you do Sean and I feel bad for not having talked about it with you before. You already have a fine name and you come from a fine family. Your full name is Sean Michael Douglas and you have a heritage to be proud of. Let's get showered and dressed and I'll show you."

I climbed out of the pool and I noticed he just sat there for a few moments silently mouthing the words to himself.

How terrible to be almost twelve years old and not to have known your own name, I thought to myself with a pain someplace deep inside. I reached my hand down to him. He took it and followed me into the locker room.

***

We were seated next to each other at the big oak table in the library. I inserted the memory stick into the computer and spoke to him.

"Your father was Doctor William Douglas he was a well-regarded ID specialist 3; that's a doctor that deals in infectious diseases. This is his photo."

I opened one of the sub files and the screen was filled with the smiling face of a very good looking man in his late-thirties. He had thick black hair like Sean's and I noticed that, although they wore their hair very differently, their hair lines were the same. It was easy to recognize the same strong jaw and dimpled cheeks that he shared with his son. His eyes were pure blue.

The face was that of an intelligent, goodnatured man. The sort of man you'd like to know. I punched the command that sent this image to the printer and opened up the next file on the screen.

"Your mother was Doctor Alma Douglas. She was a pediatrician 3; which means she specialized in the care of kids."

The face on the screen was that of a remarkably beautiful woman in her early thirties. With her son and husband she shared a rich head of raven black hair. While her smile didn't reveal any dimples there was no doubt she was the genetic source of what I'd come to call a 'Sean Smile'.

Most startling were her eyes 3; the same blue/green I'd come to wonder at and love 3; the same eyes I awoke gazing into every fantastic morning. I punched the command to print this photo as well.

This was a beautiful couple that looked like the type of people who did not take the world for granted and who strove to give back to the world, to return at least what benefit they had gathered from life and probably more. Looking at their faces and knowing their story, I felt utterly unworthy to suddenly be acting as caretaker 3; parent 3; to their wonderful son.

"Shortly after you were a year old, they both took time off from their successful medical practices to go to Africa and offer medical relief under WHO 3; the World Health Organization. Africa was and, for that matter still is, a very politically volatile continent and it is fraught with revolution and insurrection.

Just a couple of weeks after your second birthday, a bomb was set off in the small hospital that your parents were working in. Fourteen people were killed 3; patients and medical staff. Among them were your Mother and Father. I have pictures but those aren't for now; they're for when you're older.

You were flown back to the United States and placed under the care of your only living relative; your maternal Grandmother, a remarkable woman named Karen Harris." I opened the next file and the visage of a woman in her late 60's appeared.

She had a head of thick, grey hair that had probably once been as black as her daughter's and grandson's. Her bright blue eyes sparkled for the camera. The wrinkles at the corners of those eyes gave clear indication that this was a person who laughed and smiled often. It was a face full of mirth and character and it was the well lived-in face of a woman who had once obviously been very beautiful.

"Your grandmother had a PHD in art history and had taught at the University of Georgia for many years. She authored eight books and was considered one of the world experts in Medieval French Art."

I could tell by his face that he was trying to grasp all of this new information but a lot of it was beyond him currently. These things would mean more as he got older but there was also no reason to over-simplify the information for him now either. He was so very bright that he would understand the gist of it.

"She was also a talented painter in her own right and was just beginning to be recognized as such when she suffered a sudden heart attack and died when you were just four years old.

That's when the NEST got ahold of you. They didn't want your potential to be squandered in the normal system. Fact is, they probably were keeping an eye on you since your parents died. Because your parents were a bit old to be having a first child when you were born and your grandmother was already in her late sixties, I suspect they figured they had a good chance of getting ahold of you before you reached their cut-off point of six years old."

He was looking at the three photographs I'd just printed out for him and I could tell that he was straining his mind, pushing his memory hoping for some glimmer of recognition and sadly, he was finding none. He looked over at me and his expression was half amused and half bewildered.

"I am Sean Michael Douglas and these are my parents and grandmother and, until now, I never even knew they existed." He stared back at the photos his beautiful eyes blinking as he looked from face to face to face. "They look like nice people don't they Eric?"

"Yes Sean" I said softly, "They look like very nice people."

He got up and moved over to my chair. He climbed up on my lap and wrapped his arms around my neck burying his face into my chest. "Thanks Eric. Thanks for showing them to me. I love you."

I made up my mind then and there. I reached for my phone and made the necessary calls.

***

With the one required stop in Chicago, the cross country flight took about six and a half hours. Sean and I slept cuddled against each other for about half the trip. Barry, who could no longer pass as just a flight attendant to me, maintained that innocent charade for Sean and, therefore, kept us well supplied with drinks and food.

We also watched two short films about Orcas. Sean had decided finally that killer whales were in fact the 'coolest' and was trying to learn as much as he could about them. I wasn't so much interested in learning about them as I was in just enjoying their beauty. The cinematography was exquisite and, at times, quite graphic. I think those parts bothered me far more than they bothered Sean.

It was late evening when Captain Lucas finally set the jet down at tiny Glynco Airport in Brunswick, Georgia. We were met by old Mister Perkins, the live-in caretaker of my six bedroom 'cottage' on Sea Island.

As we were driving across the nine-mile long causeway out to Saint Simons Island and then to the shorter causeway onto Sea Island, I pointed out the lighthouse whose flickering light was just visible from the car. I mentioned to Sean that it was open to the visitors and that we might find time to climb to the top this trip. This met with an enthusiastic response though I noticed that he was having a difficult time keeping his beautiful eyes open.

"We're driving through and over the Marshes of Glynn right now, Sean. This is one of the last unspoiled salt water marshes and estuaries on the East Coast. You'll see it better when we drive back across tomorrow on our way to Savannah and, if there's time, maybe we'll take a Kayak tour through the marsh before we leave. If not, we can always come back here."

"That sounds really neat, Eric" he replied and I realized that he really didn't understand what we were doing out here in Georgia. And, beside that, he was falling asleep in the car. All in good time I thought.

***

Bonaventure Cemetery occupies approximately 160 acres of land high on a bluff overlooking the muddy Wilmington River just east of the city of Savannah. Once part of an antebellum rice plantation, it is old and rich in history serving as the final resting place for many of the grand city's famous as well as forgotten residents.

The lavish funerary art and sculpture that are spread across the landscape are accented by the wildly twisting live-oak trees dripping with long spooky bundles of Spanish moss once called 'long moss' by the area residents.

It is at once melancholy and beautiful 3; peaceful and frightening. It is elegant in its macabre complexity. Encompassing everything an old southern burial ground should be, it is impossible to wander the grounds without a heightened sense of curiosity, wonder and just a tinge of fear.

From the edge of the bluff the living can look down upon the river far below and quite often enjoy the sight of elegant snowy white egrets or ugly earth grey storks plying their livelihood in the shallows of the dark water while scattered along the grounds, the southern 'gentry' interred in the rich black earth or sealed in containers of cold marble sleep their genteel sleep.

Following the map and directions that had been emailed to me, Sean and I approached an exceptionally gnarled and twisted tree and, as indicated by my tiny scrap of paper, located on the southern side of the trunk three simple, neat marble slabs. Perched atop two of these, frozen in perpetual preparation for flight, were two marvelously rendered stone birds, wings spread and necks outstretched, each leaning toward the other.

These two markers bore dates and the inscriptions: William Douglas, beloved husband and father and the other, Alma Douglas, beloved wife and mother

The slab that had no mounted sculpture read similarly 3; Karen Harris, Wife, Mother, Grandmother and Teacher.

I placed my hand upon Sean's shoulder and indicated the three markers. "These are your parents and Grandmother, Sean. Their bodies are here while their spirits soar through the universe 3; at least that's what I believe."

He stared at the marble silently for several minutes before he spoke without looking up. "Do you think they know I'm 3; that WE'RE here Eric?"

"Yes I do, Sean. Every time I visit the graves of my parents and, of course Kyle, I can feel them with me and I know that they know what I'm doing and that they're smiling at me."

"If that's so, then I know my family is happy for me and happy that if they couldn't be here, then they know that you found me and I think they must be glad Eric."

For the first time since we'd begun talking about his family tears were leaking from his eyes. He looked up at me and broke into a dazzling smile despite the tears.

I had brought along three long stemmed red roses and I helped him lay one on each marble slab.

"I read someplace that you're s'postah pray over graves Eric but I don't know how to pray."

"Oh, I think if you just speak from your heart that does the trick real well, Sean."

He nodded and then he began to speak. "Hi Mom and Dad. Hi Grandma. I'm glad I finally got here to be with you. I'm sorry we never got to know each other. I bet I would have liked you 3; LOVED you 3; a whole lot. I hope you're happy that Eric found me an I hope you're glad that he's gonna be my Dad now. I love him a lot an he loves me a lot, too. I'm gonna try every day to make you 3; and him 3; proud of me. Well, I'll come back here again sometime I promise."

He reached out his little hand to me. I took it and we slowly turned and walked back to the waiting car.

***

That night, we lay in each others embrace. I'd left the windows of the bedroom open so that we could hear the ocean sounds as we hugged in the darkness.

After about 45 minutes of cuddling, I kissed my way down his body and took his rock hard penis greedily between my lips sucking and licking in a manner I knew to be guaranteed to drive him wild.

As I swirled my tongue up and down the short little shaft his hips began thrusting in perfect accord to my sucking and lapping. He was far too young to be concerned about prolonging or delaying his orgasm yet. He recognized the advent of his pleasure and gave into it innocently and naturally.

He moaned softly and sweetly and I knew well the signs of the oncoming storm. But this time, something magical 3; something extraordinary 3; happened. I felt his little cock pulse inside my mouth and suddenly and unexpectedly three strong bursts of liquid exploded from his throbbing member.

It was thin and watery but its salty/sweet goodness gave proof to the fact that is was cum 3; his first immature cum and I had been fortunate to catch it in my mouth. I rolled the light but viscous substance around on my tongue and I knew that it would get thicker and better in time but for now, it was there 3; it was finally there!

"Wha 3; What just happened Eric?" his eyes were wide with alarm and surprise.

I smiled and stroked his forehead. "What happened was you shot for the first time Sean! You shot!"

"Holy guacamole! I did? Oh Eric that's so neat! I was wishin' I would do it soon an now I have! How cool!"

"Yep 3; looks like nature has given you an early birthday present congratulations little man!"

"Do you think I can see Eric?"

"Of course you can, in fact, at your age; I'll bet you're ready to go again right now."

I masturbated him twice that night so that he could enjoy the feelings as well as the sight of his little prick shooting out its essence and I wondered if the grin of pleasure and satisfaction was ever going to leave his face. Eventually though, the weariness of a full day took its toll and he fell asleep in my arms. I soon followed but, before sleep overtook me, I remember smiling with gratitude at the privilege I'd been granted this night.

***

"This was your grandmother's house. It's also the house you lived in with your parents when you were first born before the three of you went off to Africa. I'm sure I could ask the current owners if we could come in and look around if you'd like, Sean."

"Nah." He shook his head indicating that he had no interest. "It wouldn't mean nothing to me Eric. I don't remember any of it."

We were back in Savannah for the morning and there was one more thing I wanted to show him. I'd had my people track it down and miraculously it was still hanging and still for sale.

It was large and bright 3; obviously a summer scene bursting with colorful flowers and plants and splashes of sunlight against various mottled surfaces. In the center of the painting was a nude child of about three-years-old holding high a large yellow blossom. Although the artist's style was neo-impressionist, there was no mistaking the smile on the child's face.

"This is one of your grandmother's paintings," I told him softly. "The little boy is, beyond a doubt, you. She must have painted this about a year after your parents were killed."

"It's so beautiful, Eric. My Grandma painted this an that's me when I was very little?"

"Yes. I suspect she painted it in the garden of the house I just showed you. Do you like it?"

"Oh Eric! I really do! It's so special, isn't it?"

"You bet it is and that's why I've just bought it for you so that we can hang it back home and you can look at it anytime it pleases you."

"He looked up at me and smiled. He didn't say a word he just wrapped his arms around me and hugged me for a long, long time.

***

June 17 was a Tuesday. We woke early that morning. Instead of our usual routine we sat up in bed looking at each other and smiling. Wordlessly, I reached out my hand and stroked the smooth softness of his cheek sliding down his neck along his shoulder and across his chest.

Eyes wide open, he leaned into me and kissed me softly, tenderly, almost shyly.

"Happy birthday my darling little boy."

"Mornin' Eric. Thanks! This will this feel different tomorrow do you think? Will we be different?"

"Probably a little bit, Sean, but if we are, I hope it's just a better kind of different."

"Yeah me too"

I slid off the bed and reached out my hand to him. He placed his hand in mine, slid off the bed and together we walked into the bathroom pressed against each other as if we were glued together. I pointed into the shower.

"Go on in. This morning is my turn with the music." I fiddled with the selector carefully. I knew exactly what I wanted to hear this morning. I was holding him close to me under the steaming water from the multiple shower heads when the beautiful music filled the shower. His face shot up so that he was looking directly into my eyes. His own bewitching eyes sparkled and his smile was brighter than the morning sun.

"You remembered!"

I slid my hands down his slick wet back and lovingly cupped the cheeks of his perfect ass . I kissed the top of his head and in a horse whisper that I feared would end in a happy sob, I spoke into his dark hair; "How in the world could I ever forget? I think that's when I started to love you."

I held him to me as tightly as I could without hurting him as the strains of Puccini's 'Nessun Dorma' filled the shower and my heart. This was what I had played that first morning that we had showered together 3; the very first round of our 'shower music' game 3; the first time he had sung and danced naked and beautiful for me.

Dried and dressed we made our way down to breakfast. Martha was beaming and fussing as she placed the plates of waffles and, half grapefruits that she had sugared the night before so that they oozed sweet tangy thick syrup when you plunged a spoon between the rind and the flesh of the fruit.

As he ate Sean kept looking at her and I saw his face grow more and more anxious. Finally he spoke, "Mrs. Edwards, you know what today is don't you? Aren't you gonna say nothin' about today?"

"Well certainly darling'. Happy birthday to you, sweetheart!"

"No Mrs. Edwards 3; I mean about the adoption. Ain't you gonna say nuthin about that?"

Her eyes grew glassy with not quite shed tears. She hustled over to him and hugged his neck.

"Sean, my dearest boy, if I say anything just now, I'm afraid I'll blubber like a baby. Now finish your breakfast I've got to do something in the kitchen." She dashed out of the room holding a linen napkin to her face.

John was waiting in the front drive holding the door to the limo opened for us as we emerged from the mansion. He was grinning like a fool but I noticed that his eyes were glistening as well.

***

Uncle Phil had arranged for one of our many lawyers to meet us at the courthouse just to help with the paper flow. Everything was actually a done deal and Judge Gardner was an old family friend.

We were ushered into a small almost empty courtroom. This business could have actually taken place in his chambers but we'd decided to make it seem a bit more formal for Sean's sake.

"Well gentlemen, I won't bother to have you sworn in. I'm trusting that you both know how wrong it is to tell anything but the truth in a courtroom am I right?"

"Yes your Honor." I replied.

"Yes Sir Judge Gardner 3; I mean your honor sir" Sean answered.

"Well then, I've read your petition and is my understanding that it is the desire of both of you to become a legal family. I am assuming that you understand the seriousness of this undertaking and how great your responsibility to each other will be?"

We each gravely answered affirmatively.

"Mr. Tucker is it your intention to undertake the duties and obligations of being a father to Sean here?"

"Yes your Honor it is"

"Sean Michael Douglas, is it your intention to undertake the duties and obligations of being a son to Mr. Tucker here?"

"Yes 3; yes Sir Your Honor." His face was as serious as I'd ever seen it and his eyes were wide as saucers.

"Sean Michael Douglas, is it also your desire that the court legally change your last name to 'Tucker' ?"

"Yes Sir," he turned and beamed at me. "It is Your Honor".

"Then I see no reason why this court should not grant your requests." He climbed down from behind the judge's bench and walked over to a table at the front of the courtroom.

"Eric Tucker, will you affix your signature to this document?" He indicated the actual legal papers. With a nod to him and a smile at Sean I signed knowing that, later on, there would be more documents to sign but Sean didn't need to know that.

"Sean Michael Douglas, will you affix your signature to this document?" He indicated a paper that Uncle Phil had designed and had printed. It looked very official. With a giant grin Sean took the pen and signed.

Judge Gardner took the pen from him and then very flamboyantly signed both documents. With this done, he turned to the smiling little boy and stuck out his hand. "May I be the first person in the world to shake the hand of Sean Michael Tucker?" he asked.

With a laugh and a giant 'Sean smile' he took the judge's hand and pumped it vigorously.

"And now Sean," the Judge spoke again "It would be appropriate for you to hug your father and," he turned to me, "for you to hug your son."

The boy was in my arms in a heartbeat and how long we embraced I don't know but it was the most significant hug of my entire life.

The actual time we spent before the judge was less than 15 minutes though I must truly say that a small bit of prearranged theatrics made it a very special event for us and for Sean in particular.

When we left the courthouse we were smiling so hard that neither of us could speak. John simply winked a moist eye at us and nodded his head. He was as afraid to speak as we were. We drove home in happy silence.

I laughed silently as I looked at him and considered that he (like me) I was wearing tan slacks a white shirt and a blue blazer just like that day that seemed so long ago when we'd first met.

Our shirts were opened at the neck and we each wore the matching medallions Professor Swaim had presented to us the night before.

They were simple, small gold ovals on a gold chain and they were inscribed with the words, 'NOLI TIMERE 3; do not be afraid' . I knew that everyone I'd invited for his surprise party would be waiting at Joyous Gaurde and, sure enough, as we pulled up the front drive there they stood.

The entire household staff beaming with happiness 3; Sean knew all of their names, I still did not. In the forefront were Walter, Martha, Uncle Phil, the Professor and Andy. Also in the group were the Seven Swimming Samurai and their families, Coach Riorden and his two assistants Tim and Wayne. Also there were Barry and Captain Lucas. There were other children from Deer Run as well as some friends of mine who had not yet met Sean.

As we stepped out of the limo I hugged the surprised little boy to my side. I'd only planned a short simple speech and I knew I could probably get through it before I began crying.

"Every day we rise and walk this earth is a blessing, but some days seem more significantly blessed than others. That's how I feel today 3; my heart is so full I'm afraid I can't keep it all in. Good friends, thank you so much for being here to wish a happy twelfth birthday to this very special young man 3; Sean Michael Tucker 3; my son."

If anyone took much note of my tears, it was never mentioned.

The End