the colonel arrived home at 1700 hrs and i was sitting there with the invitation.

"hi, carlee." i didn't respond. "HELLO." i looked up. "are you deep in thought?" he said.

"no, confused." i replied.

"oh, you're always confused carlee, what is it this time?"

"I'm suppose to reply to this new years invitation and i don't even know why."

"oh, carlee, they just want a confirmation from you that you and i will be spending new years eve with them."

dad had given me a new dress for christmas, a beautiful black dress very different from the one mrs. darsey had given me the previous year; it was wonderful, but i certainly didn't expect he had given it to me for this.

"what about gleena?" i asked. dad lowered his head (as i had seen him do a thousand times before)

"honey, gleena is a very good friend of mine, we go back a long way. gleena took very goood care of me back in korea, she probably saved my life. i am indebted to her, and i enjoy her company from time to time, i would do anything in my power for her, but we are not an item, ok?" i smiled

"ok, general mccord, i will be your date this time, but when gleena is the real thing, or anyone else, i'll step aside, believe me."

"do you promise?" he smiled...

"i promise." he held me tight and kissed me on the forehead.

"hey in there, are you about ready, they're waiting for us at the airport."

"give me just a minute dad." damn, mrs darsey had given me a new bra for christmas and it was three fucking sizes to big, i was searching for my b and a half. high heel shoes simply kill my feet, but the colonel is a foot and a half taller than me. damn, i should have gone to the y with fisher thisnew years eve....my dress was so pretty though, it was sexy actually, i wanted to put my hair in a french twist, but a pony tail looked better.

"hey in there!"

"just a minute!" my necklace, where is my necklace--ah --gosh, i thought the pearls looked great.

the colonel was in full dress uniform. he looked very handsome, ribbons from every campaign he had been in since the korean war, medals, the whole nine yards; twin silver stars on either side of his shirt collar and coat lapels, even his license plate had two star.

"shouldn't we have someone drive us in this car dad?"

"get in carlee, you've wasted so much time now it will be close to midnight before we get to the club." he was slightly upset, i could always tell, i did want to look nice for me first real grown up date--even if it was with my father.

we arrived at fort knox at 1600, we parked near the runway and walked to the hanger.

"good afternoon general mccord." a nice looking pfc announced. dad saluted back and apoligized for being late. "oh, that's alright sir, your plane is good and ready, and your coarse is fully mapped out for you all." (meaning me--he was staring...)

"we certainly thank you sir." dad said. god, he was always so polite that away; a general is not suppose to call a private sir, but the colonel always did it, i heard him say it a hundred times, and always thought about it. dad was well liked in the military, he was a true gentleman, and above no one. i liked him that away.

the plane was beautiful, all white with a lot or red coloring, a us flag on the tail (rudder, excuse me) and was as clean as a pin. the inside was great too, it would seat four,had black leather upholsterie and when we sat down, the seats were very comfortable. i was waiting for the pilot, when the engines started. i jumped.

"where is the pilot dad?" i asked kind of frightened.

he smiled, "now carlee, do you think that i'de learned nothing after 30 odd years in the service."

my god, he was the pilot, i didn't know what to say. shit, he was having trouble navigating flight simulator 98 the other night.......he crashed a leer jet. now, i should sweating, and ruin my make up. dad studied the maps or logs or whatever they call them. he looked intently, as if i didn't even exist. a voice came over the radio--

"ready for take off sir."

"aye aye." dad said (i thought that was navy lingo.) plane stuff started opening and closing, it was loud and it was scary. we started to move.

"buckle up carlee."

"aye aye sir." i didn't want to wrinkle my dress, but if i must........the engines got louder and louder, almost deafening, then i felt a surge forward that left my stomach behind. three G's were pushing against my body, ripping my very flesh away, i couldn't even talk, my eyes were shut. then i felt us lift off, almost at a 90 degree angle at first, the engines quited down, and i could feel us leveling off. it became almost quiet now, my body was back, i began to feel truly at ease.

"excellent, general mccord, enjoy your evening and have a happy new year." dad smiled, and said something back

"you made a hit at knox carlee."

"hmm"

"they liked you, the ground crew." i smiled--maybe i was getting vain in my old age.

the sky was perfectly lovely, the clouds were cotton candy like, they made me think of the trips to the circus with mom and dad when i was a little kid. i smiled to myself. mom hated elephants,simply despised them, said they were ugly and they smelled bad. thinking back, i believe that's the only thing i ever knew my mom to dislike. she was very petite, and had raven black hair, she was beautiful- i can well remember, even though there were many times when i despartly wanted to forget; i suppose that's a weakness on my part. then i thought of gleena, just a fleeting thought, i couldn't think of my dad with another woman.

all of a sudden, a terrible noise occurred.

"what the hell!" dad said. it sounded like one of the engines kicked out. we began to lose altitude. dad was pushing buttons, and raising throttles-the white plane shook, and veered to the left. we headed downward, it must have been caused by someting i thought, it was my fault...........

i thought i was going to pee in my panties when suddenly, i heard a loud roar; the plane gained altitude, maybe we weren't going to crash after all. the colonel was holding back on the stick, and we were back on coarse.

"shit." he said.

"what happened dad?"

"oh, this damn auto pilot, things like this happen carlee, it's alright, i'll just fly the plane myself."

i felt much better, but my bra was killing me, and my feet hurt. we flew for another half an hour without seeing anything but trees below.

"where are we dad?"

"welcome to georgia honey."

"there's nothing here."

"oh, wait until we approach atlanta...."

atlanta was a sprawling metropolis, god, i would hate to learn to drive there. we flew over the airportand the radio started squalking.

"what the hell are you doing flying over my airport pilgram?!!!!" a gruff voice said.

"we have clearance from fort knox." dad answered.

"not in my book bud." dad looked over a bunch of papers--

"we are flight 276 from knox to havana."

"you're off coarse friend, do 75 degrees left or be shot down." he was very unfriendly.

"what is your name controller?"

"that's none of your bussiness pilgram." dad looked mad, the plane took a nose dive, very fast.

"what the hell are you doing friend?"

"i'm coming down and land on your airstrip, and talk to you in person friend."

"you can't land here, get your damn nose up, there's oncoming flights." we continued to descend. atta boy soldier--i thought.

"please mister, ascend, you will cause a crash now, please." he sounded serious.

"i will when you tell me your name!!" dad shouted.

"david, david bowers, now ascend and depart."

"have a happy new year david, and i hope you enjoy your new job."

we ascended and veered a few degrees east, then continued on.

"bastard." dad whispered.

"what was that all about?"

"oh, just a smart ass ground controller who didn't keep up with his shit, they walked off their jobs some years and about disabled air travel, now they think they can do anything they want."

dad finally calmed down, we were flying across florida, it was a beautiful state, inland lakes and ocean gulfs, very pretty. it was getting dark.

"will we cross the equater dad?"

"no sweetie, cuba is actually 90 miles from the tip of florida. maybe someday we will go down that far" i smiled.

"you really showed that guy in atlanta dad." i was proud.

"not really carlee, he'll remember me as only one more of the unpleasant things that happened to him on a day at work, when he goes home to his family, we were no significant impact."

dad had a way with words, a very good way. i smiled. now there was ocean everywhere, cuba was only 90 miles, gosh, i thought we almost went to war with them once, they're practically our next door neighbor.

"is this restaurant in havana a nice one dad?"

"now, did you think i'd take you to a sleezy one carlee?" he smiled. dad raised an eyebrow, i had seen this many times over the years, it meant that he was turning an intellectual side on, and it meant i was in for a lecture. "way, way back in time, a handful of very fine actors and actresses made a film called 'guys and dolls', a restaurant was created in havana for a very famous love scene between a girl called sister sarah and a guy known as sky masterson. the film was a hugh success and a mafia guy named myer lansky opened this club a year or so later. it's been world famous ever since, many famous people go there to celebrate the new year, including us." he smiled. it sounded liken a dream place, i was impressed.

"we're not famous dad."

"i think we are carlee.:)

"you know what, general mccord?"

"no what."

"i think that you are a hell of a nice guy." he held my hand..........

my hand always felt good in dads. it was strong, yet, warm and soft.

"better get your hands back on that wheel soldier, and mind you aircraft, not that girl." i softly said. dad smiled.

the sky was dark; dad turned the lights on. "are we still over floirda." i asked.

"not for long, we're about over miama............"

the hum of the aircraft, over the stilness of the night, was very tranquil. i hadn't felt so good in months.

soon, we decreased altitude; i assumed we were nearing cuba. i declined to ask "are we almost there" i abandoned that when i was a child. i soon saw a million lights, cuba at least, i didn't know where havana was located on the island. dad put his headset on and was making directional changes in accordance with what he was being told. we decended more rapidly. i saw the airfield, havana international. it was much smaller than memphis international, but seemed to be a bustling airport anyway. my stomach was still 40 knots above. yuk........

the landing went smooth though, and i felt better once we were on the ground. a handsome ground crew got us out of the plane--none of them looked like fidel castro.

"welcome to havana general mccord and miss carlee." how very polite. i smiled. we were escorted to the airport--gosh, he was cute. the airport was nice, lots of people-all speaking spanish (i guess) he took us to a limo service. dad had already arranged for this.

"guys and dolls." he said, and the driver knew exactly where to go. i was afraid i was going to pee in the limo before we got there, but it was only a few miles.

"senior, i have no instructions when to return for you."

"that's alright, perro, we're not flying back tonight."

"that's peron, senior, perro is spanish for dog."

"my apologies sir, i'm terribly sorry, please forgive me." peron nodded and quickly drove away.

"you called him a dog?" i said.

"i didn't mean to, i mean that's what they told me his name was at ground control. see, i wrote it down." dad was embarrased, and i wasn't helping. i couldn't stop though...

"you may refer to me a de gato." i said.

"you mean de gata."

"dad, let's go inside." we both smiled.

guys and dolls, gosh, the outside was impressive, neon lights and marlon brando and frank sinatra posters all around. a large picture of jean simmons (gosh she was pretty) and a guy named sheldon leonard.

"that's not your jean simmons carlee."

"i know dad. this was a movie?"

"yep, a very good one." this was so neat, i took in all the posters and photographs, very very nice. i headed for the ladies room. what a relief. i looked at myself in the mirror, not bad, i thought, not jean simmons, but the colonel would have no reason to be ashamed of me. i had to find that movie for dad and me.

i met up with him in the lobbie. he was easy to recognize, all of the other men were dressed in blue suits with red or white pinstripes and bold yellow ties. there were other men in uniform, but not as nice looking as him. i took his hand, as we were ushered to our table.

"would you like a cocktail sir and madam?"

"yes, please, i'll have a martini and leche for my companion."

"not so fast buster." i said "i haven't traveled with you a thousand miles for a glass of milk. i'll have scotch and water, one fingerfull."

"si, senorita."

"one fingerfull?" dad asked.

"that's right soldier, i don't want to get drunk and take my clothes off."

"carlee, behave yourself." i nodded my head. as our drinks arrived, a man came out on the stage and announced the presence of mr. myer lanski. everyone clapped, a very old man came out in a wheelchair. he looked 90 years old. he waved at several people, then said that the next act would be paul anka, everyone cheered. then, the old man wheeled down the floor, and headed toward our table.

i became scared, he pulled up right next to me. he stopped by me, and asked for my hand. i didn't know what to do. i sat down my drink and looked at dad. he was no help at all. i held out my left arm and the old man held it, then kissed my hand.

"what is you name my dear?" he asked with a shakey voice..."

"carlee, sir, carlee mccord."

"you are the queen of the new year miss mccord, the queen."

"if beauty be within the eye of the beholder, then i say you are queen." i was so embarrased, i didn't know what to say, everyone was staring at me, i just said "thanks" and he kised my hand again and left. god, i wanted to leave....then mr. anka came out, and all eyes focused on him. i was somewhat relieved.

"what was that all about dad?" i asked.

"i assume mr. lanski found you attractive carlee, smile, he's a very famous person, arranged for the death of hundreds on hell's kitchen, and never spent a day in jail."

"oh, wow, great credentials dad."

mr. anka sang "put your head on my shoulder" and everyone loved it. it was a nice song. dinner was excellent, shrimp devine and lobster superb. the entertainment was great. mr. sheldon leonard was there and introduced himself as "harry the horse" he was very funny. a tribute was conducted for mr. sinatra, gosh, he sang some good songs. dad and myself danced to a very slow one, i wasn't very good, but i folowed as best as i could.

"you look so very nice tonight carlee, i only wish your mother could see you at fifteen." i smiled, i could feel a tear building.

"oh, daddy..."

"i'm sorry honey, but i've thought of that so much lately, i feel so lucky to be alive with you."

"you're making me cry dad, please stop." i knew he was being honest, but it made me so very sad. i knew i was reacting poorly, but it was all i could do.

when the dance was over, we sat back down. it was almost midnight. i felt a little better, my tears dried up. as the countdown began, dad held my hand. i thought of a lifetime of dreams during that ten seconds, a good life time. ah, it was the new year, a time to start anew, a time to strive for newer and better things. to start thinking about college maybe, or driving next year or marriage. but not tonight, i was the queen of the new year, i was holding a loving father's hand, and i had not felt so good, ever in my life............