after i graduated from twelve years of school, i simply went to the thirteenth grade at western kentucky university. my curriculum was chosen for me, and i didn't mind it, there were elective classes that i enjoyed, wood shop and shakespeare, and i didn't mind biology and chemistry. i disliked math though, even though i was big into astronomy. in fact, my grades were so low in math that they wouldn't let me take it. in my second semester of inorganic chemistry, known simply as "quantitative analysis" a friend of mine stole the tests that our professor made up in advance for the entire year. she successfully sold the tests for $90.00 a piece, and many would-be chemists enjoyed an a or b average for the class. it was easy, you just had to sit for the test, when people got done and handed in theirs, you simply deposited yours, pre filled out, and walked away with a good grade. during a session involving logarithms, i decided to buy jayne's test rather than study that horrible mathematics for the twentieth time.

i sat there waiting and doodling until a dozen or more students turned their tests in, then promptly turned mine in. the next day, it was rumored around the campus that professor wilkerson had completely changed this test, because he suspected that the high grade average for the class was due to foul play. myself and eight others had turned in the test with the "old" answers. the dean of students chose me as the thief. "carlee, i have informed your father of what you have done. if you were my daughter, i would beat you unto an inch of your life. disgraceful is what it is, utterly disgraceful. a pretty young lady like yourself, stealing tests, disgraceful." i started crying.

"i didn't steal the tests, dean cravens, i swear i didn't," i sobbed.

"likely story carlee, but we think differently, i should expel you."

"please dean cravens, let me explain." i pleaded. but he wasn't about to listen to me, i knew that. i needed a lawyer.

the story was all over the newspaper the next day. my name was listed as the culprit. "carlee mccord suspected as the ring leader." god, how embarrasing. i couldn't face my friends, dad was in the middle east, i hoped he would stay there. i ate alone at the white tray, i had been crying all night. a man sat down beside me. he handed me a business card. Gorman and Gorman, attorneys at law.

"the crime is stealing the tests carlee, not buying them." he explained. i looked at him, he was a small man, in his forties maybe, he had a nice smile. his suite was dark blue, as were his eyes. "i'm joe." i shook his hand.

"i'm guilty mr. gorman, any way you look at it, i turned in the old test, and was caught in the act."

"did you break into the professor's office and steal the test carlee?"

"no, i have a 4.5 in qa and only bought this one test to keep from studying something i didn't care for."

"then why did the times-news accuse you of being the thief? it stated that university administrators pinpointed you as the thief."

"i don't know mr. gorman, i just don't know," i cried. tears streamed down my cheek. mr. gorman pulled a napkin from a container on the table, he wiped my eyes. he got up and bought me a cup of coffee while i blew my nose. "thanks." i said.

"carlee, you don't know anything about the law, do you?" his voice was very soft.

"some," i answered, "a little."

"ok, then answer this. what if the professor hadn't figured out the test were stolen, what if you had turned your paper in yesterday, made an a, then went on back to study for the next qa test?"

"well, i suppose that everything would be alright, i wouldn't be in trouble."

"do you think any of your classmates who have turned in several tests receiving a's are worried, at least before this week?"

"i guess not."

"in legal work, my dear, we are not that interested in right and wrong. we lay cards on the table, all blank, then analyze what's coming down. i'm sure that some of your classmates did not consider that buying a test was in the least bit wrong, a lucky break maybe, but not wrong. would you agree with that?" i thought about this for a moment, sherry cottrell thought the tests were exactly what mr. gorman said, luck, a sure good grade for a difficult course.

"i suppose some thought that way," i answered.

"carlee, your constitutional rights have been gravely violated." he said.

i looked puzzled at mr. gorman. i really didn't know what he was talking about.

"what if i told you that if you sign with our firm, we will not only wipe the nasty remarks made against you away, we can also make you a lot of money. how does that sound?"

"i, i don't know." i honestly replied.

"you have been proven guilty without even the chance for a trial. they could, and may, expel you from school, a black mark will appear on your record forever, preventing you from returning to school ever, you probably won't ever be able to obtain a credit card or a bank loan, even future jobs may be prevented. think about it." i hadn't thought much past how my dad was going to take this, much less the other ramifications that mr. gorman spoke of.

"how much will it cost me, mr. gorman?"

"not a penny dear, but we will take a third of what we recover, you've little to lose, carlee," he replied as he pulled a document out of his coat pocket. "sign here, and we can have this mess cleaned up in a week."

"maybe i should consult with someone," i stated.

"who, your lawyer?" he grinned. if i was a fish, mr. gorman had hooked me good. his silver voice and power of words had convinced me that i had no alternative but to sign his paper. and i did. he patted me on the butt and asked me to come with him. "we may even make you famous carlee." he said as i climbed into his black fiat.

mr. gorman's law firm was located across the street from the old helm hotel, on the square in bowling green. the building was underimpressive, appeared to have been there for years. the inside was nice, professional. mr. gorman led me to the office of tyrone c. mccloud. "mr. mccloud and i have already spoken concerning this matter, he will ask you some questions and take your statement. i have business with dean cravens. carlee mccord, meet ty ty mccloud."

mr. mcloud got up and shook my hand. "my pleasure miss mccord." mr. mccloud was dressed in a tan cord suit with a dark brown tie with horses on it. his hair was wondrously white and long. his brown eyes were the most impressive i'd ever seen, they seemed alive. his hand shake was strong, and felt very nice. "please, may i call you carlee?"

"of course."

"i'm ty ty, everyone calls me that. please, have a seat."

"thank you," i said. the chair was cushiony, leather and very comfortable.

"first of all, i would like to thank you for signing with gorman and gorman, you will find us very helpful, and very knowledgable. we know a lot about your case already. little joe has already done a lot of footwork for you, on your behalf, i might say."

"little joe?"

"yes, we refer to the partners as big joe and little joe, a great father and son law team. we rarely lose a case."

"are you a law partner, ty ty?"

"no ma'me, i'm a paralegal, but i've been here over ten years." i wasn't sure what a paralegal was, but i was familiar with paramedics, i supposed that paralegals might be comparable. besides, it made me feel a bit more comfortable knowing that ty ty wasn't a real lawyer. he sure looked like one though. "now carlee, i have a few direct questions that i would like to ask."

"of course, ty ty."

"number one, did you know that professor daniel wilkerson prepared his written tests at the beginning of the school year?"

"no sir, i didn't."

"did you steal the tests, carlee?"

"now if i didn't know that he......."

"all i need is a yes or no answer, carlee."

"no, i didn't."

"thank you. exactly when did you learn the professor wilkerson's test had been stolen, and put up for sale?"

"mid way through the semester, i believe."

"were there students who had purchased the first and second test papers?"

"i was told there were many."

"good, carlee, do you know who did steal the tests?"

"i'm not sure, i mean that i was told, nothing i can prove."

"did you buy your test from the person you believe might have stolen them?"

"no, i got mine from a different person, a girl who worked for the perp."

"and little joe told me you didn't know anything about the law," he grinned.

"i read some," i said.

"do you know what defamation of character is, carlee?"

"like slander?"

"sort of like, but defamation is a serious crime, demanding punitive damages, can be negotiated in a court of law. if i tell you that i think you're a bitch, i have slandered you, but if i accuse you of being a thief, i've defamed you, a big difference in the letter of the law."

"i see."

"as we speak, carlee, little joe is serving papers on dean cravens and other high ranking administrators, sueing them for defamation. a court date will be announced, and you may have to tell what you know about everyone involved in the stolen tests, as long as you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that your evidence is the truth."

"all i know for sure, ty ty, is who i bought the test from."

"then that will be the only one you will be able to testify against, my dear."

"and this won't cost me anything?"

"only a third of what you get in damages. something else carlee, if anyone from the college wishes to speak with you, about anything, tell them that you're not at liberty to speak with them and they should consult your attorneys."

"my character has been defamed several time in my existence ty ty, and you're telling me that anyone who has ever spoken badly of me could have been sued and had to pay for their remarks?"

"the law is funny carlee, curious funny, and yes, with proper representation, anyone who has ever said much bad about you could be sued."

"amazing," i said.

"yes it is, my dear."

"should i go back to class tomorrow?"

"by all means, you haven't been expelled have you?"

"no, not that i know of."

"then go about your business as usual, we'll handle any bad stuff, just remember, you have attornies if anyone questions you."

back home, i reviewed the events of the last two days very carefully. how could i go from feeling so lousy to feeling so great? why did mr. gorman seek me out when i had never heard of him or his daddy's law firm? one third of what they could retrieve, hmmm, i wondered if i had been conned and saved at the same time. little joe gorman was a full fledged lawyer, and looked like a jerk, ty ty mccloud was a paralegal, and looked like matlock on tv, all of this legal mumbo-jumbo seemed more than strange, and i wasn't smart, but i didn't just fall off a turnip truck either. was i a victim of a scam played over and over for the sake of money? was little joe's visit to me just for money? i was sure that the firm of gorman and gorman didn't just read the paper and go on a religious trek to save carlee mccord from the ravages, via jurisprudence. i had to be a pawn in this game, and i was certain it was a game, a game with a dollar sign in front of it. the proof of the pudding came an hour or two later, when dean cravens himself knocked on my door.

"miss mccord, it's riley cravens, i need to speak with you."

"i have counsel, dean cravens."

"i know that, miss mccord, but i must speak to you personally."

"if this about the test, dean cravens, please be advised that you may speak with mr. joseph gorman. i will be returning to class tomorrow, and i have nothing more to say."

"president thompson and i are both highly upset, miss mccord. neither of us accused you."

"well, what was all that about in your office, dean?"

"carlee, i didn't accuse you of stealing, not directly, i was just feeling you out, it's my job. i spoke with several other students in the very same way, please believe me. but, we are willing to deal with you carlee, very fairly i might add." the insolence of office. how dare he? (tell them that you are not at liberty to speak with them, they should consult with your attorneys.) i told him this.

"we bear you no malice, carlee, but stealing and selling a test is a serious offence, we had to get to the bottom of it."

"and telling the newspaper that i was the ring leader is how you go about solving the problem, dean cravens?"

"no carlee, that was an unfortunate leak of private information and i'm afraid i'm to blame for that, my brother-in-law works for the paper and i never dreamed he would print this very private matter."

"most unfortunate," i said. (your ex-brother-in-law, your wife won't spend a day with you after we bring your sorry ass down, i hope you get fired, i hope you die.) but i wasn't about to say this to him.

"carlee, you have always been a good student, an excellent student, i have the authority, carlee, to offer you your bs degree prematurely, if only you'd drop this senseless law suit."

"no sir!! thank you, but no thanks, i'll achieve my degree the same goddamn way i received everything else in my life, by working for it, the way my father taught me!" i slammed my door. dig your hole a little deeper dean cravens, my attorneys will feast on your visit tonight. go home and tell your wife, and your stupid brother-in-law that you fucked up, big time, tonight. i was so upset after "riley" left. i made a strong drink, sat in my recliner and stared at the walls for a while. the drink felt better. i looked up ty ty's phone number. he answered on the second ring.

"mccloud," he weakly said.

"ty ty, this is carlee mccord," i started, and told him of the dean's visit.

"could you do that in three part harmony carlee, i need to tape it for a deposition?"

"i'm alto," i said.

"you're beautiful!" he said.

"and the dean of students offered you a baccalaureate degree to drop the suit?"

"that's what he said, ty ty."

"god, what a schmuck, did he ask you to take off your clothes as well?" i laughed. "see us in the office tomorrow, around nine, we have some more work to do." i told him i would.

ty ty was feasting, and i'm certain that he was on the horn with little joe at this moment. it really didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out his elation, i figured it out before i called and i'm not even a lawyer, but maybe i would be some day. i was beginning to understand the legal game, it was spurred by greed, avarice and greed, and winning meant everything. my case was a winning case for gorman and gorman. western kentucky university would probably pay a bundle to settle out of court, the law firm would laugh all the way to the bank, their client would be forever grateful for two thirds, and i would then become history to them, another successful case file. what society will do to keep their name from being tarnished. but, they didn't mind tarnishing mine. i called janice reader on the phone, she had bought all of the tests, she told me.

"janice, carlee, how are you?"

"terrible carlee, they've threatened to kick me out of school."

"listen janice, don't worry, they're not kicking anyone out, i've hired a law firm."

"me too, dunghill and fosterd, they think they can save me."

"hell of a name for a law firm janice, they should change their names."

"but they're really nice carlee, they say they can help. they told me that the only one in real trouble is the one who stole the test."

"and that would be me," i said. "didn't you read the paper today?"

"yes carlee, but you didn't steal them, jayne did."

"did dean cravens accuse you of stealing them janice?"

"no, he only accused me of buying a stolen copy."

"did my name come up?"

"i don't think so carlee, i was so scared, the whole thing is hard to remember."

"did you tell that dirty little fosterd who really stole the tests?" janice laughed.

"mr. fosterd is very nice, carlee, he just wants to help me, and yes, i did tell."

"how much did they charge you?" i asked.

"three thousand dollars, i have it in savings." so, i was the freebie, the productive lawsuit, i understood even more now. i was the only super chicken in this ordeal, the newspaper story is what made them seek me out. this was no revelation though, i had already figured that out with my analytical mind, destined for the law. three thousand dollars, probably janice's life savings, i wondered if dunghill and fosterd had asked her how much she had. the rats.