When my father passed away, I was devastated. It had happened suddenly and there had been no warning. He hadn't even been sick. My mother, my sister and I were well set financially thanks to his foresight (and insurance), but emotionally there was a real vacuum.

Somehow, I wanted to be close to him again. I couldn't talk with him, or hold him, but I began to look at what he had left behind. Momentos of his life were everywhere. His watch, wallet, clothes, and other personal effects kept me occupied for hours, perhaps relieving some of the pain of his absence. In the closet were his hats, golf clubs, and some things I had seen him use only occasionally like his tuxedo.

It didn't make me any happier to hold these things, and only accentuated his absence. My tears were splattered on most of these things by the end of the day of the funeral and I only wanted more. It felt like I was punishing myself.

I was alone. I couldn't join my mother and sister and engage in light conversation or eating, so I kept to myself. I eventually exhausted my parent's bedroom, so I went into the attic to rummage around. It was like going back in time. My childhood was there in almost every detail. Old bicycle, baseball bat, glove, pictures, and so on were lying everywhere, but not much of my father's. At least until I found an unmarked box behind a trunk.

Opening the box, I was shocked to find magazines with pictures of kids having sex! Unbelievable stuff. I would never have imagined that a female child's vagina could accommodate a dildo, but there it was in living color. Most of the children seemed to be willing participants in the display of their genitals and the sexual acts. There was virtually no sexual act that was not vividly depicted in the pages of those magazines.

At the bottom of the box were videotapes, or rather 8mm films. They were in boxes with pictures that showed what the films were about, and it was more of the same. In fact, some of the videos had the same children as the magazines. Many were printed in a foreign language, mostly German I believe (Dutch, perhaps).

I spent a lot of time there, wondering where these came from, wondering if my father had bought and collected them, and trying to imagine him reading them as I was. I felt an almost uncontrollable urge to jack off, so I undid my pants and started stroking as I focused on one magazine in particular. Was I my father's son? Was this my destiny?

With such a large volume of material to examine, I postponed ejaculation (with some difficulty) and began to dig deeper into the box. I found several unlabeled tapes and my curiosity was aroused (joining my libido). Although there were tiny pictures on the tapes, I couldn't make out much action, but I knew that if there were tapes, there must be an 8mm tape player.

Leaving the box for a while, I rummaged around and soon found an old 8mm projector. The overhead light in the attic had a plug so I plugged it in and turned it on. It hummed and purred like it was new. I rigged some old sheets I found to make a screen and then began to load the tape. I decided to load one of the ones that didn't have a box because I was completely "in the dark" about what they might show.

Finally, I started to play the movie. There were no credits at the beginning. The picture quality was kind of poor at first, but it got better as the film went on. I watched as a young girl, about three years old, lay on the floor with her legs open and the camera mostly focused on her cunt. She appeared to be listening to some off camera instructions, but there was no sound. She spread her cunt lips and the camera moved in closer to show her tiny hymen. She then started to rub herself up and down for a short time. The camera backed up and went out of focus briefly, but when it refocused, the girl was still there. A man entered the picture completely naked and lay down to the side of the girl. She spread her legs further and the man put his face between her legs and started licking her cunt. His tongue slipped between her labia and ran from her anus to her mons pubis, covering her labia with saliva.

It took a while, but it slowly dawned on me that this man was my father! He was younger, but his features and gestures were the same. But, then, who was the girl?

"I see you found them," I heard from behind me. I nearly jumped, but when I turned I saw my sister. She was 9 years old and wearing her best dress -- the one she had worn to the funeral. "It's our little secret."

I thought she meant that she wouldn't tell anyone about this "find" but she then admitted it was her in the tapes. The secret was between her and our father -- at least until now.

As the screen flickered, my father rose and disappeared for a while. My sister was still standing behind me and I considered that I was violating her privacy, but I couldn't stop watching. There she was, legs spread, hairless cuntlips slick with saliva. The camera again moved and was unfocused, but when it came on again, she was standing in front of my father holding his cock and looking up. Also standing, my father's face was not visible in this segment. Acting on commands not heard or seen, she started to stroke his cock with both hands, paused and put the end of his cock into her mouth as she resumed her stroking. My father's hands went to the back of her head as if to guide her motions, and soon his body dipped a bit as his knees bent. Dribbles of cum started pouring out of my sister's mouth around his cock, but she never stopped stroking or removed her mouth. Finally, she stopped, looked up, and removed her obviously full mouth from his cock. She took a step towards the camera until only her face was visible and opened her mouth with her head tilted back to show a mouth completely full of cum -- to the brim. Her mouth then closed and she appeared to be swallowing, and then her mouth opened again. This time, it was completely empty. Only a few dribbles of cum still remained on her face to show that she had swallowed that whole load.

My father's face reappeared and he gave my sister a "fatherly" kiss. The cum on her face stuck to his as he pulled away and formed a strand that seemed like it would stretch forever, but then it broke. I was feeling a little ashamed at watching this with my sister there, but she said nothing and remained standing, looking over my shoulder. The tape went white and then ended. The clicking of the end of the tape as it spun around the reel seemed quite loud until I reached over and turned the machine off. The silence that followed was deafening.

I remained seated in front of my blank hastily erected sheet trying to think of something to say. My sister walked over to my left, where the box was, and sat down next to me.

"How many have you looked at?" she asked.

"Just that one."

She sifted through the box a little before she asked, "Did you notice the numbers written on the film cases?"

I picked up the casing in front of me for the film we had just watched. I hadn't noticed any numbers, but on the back was written "11-04-94" in thick ink.

"Those are the dates that these films were made. Daddy made one about every six months since I was about three years old," she explained. She returned to the box and sifted around a bit more until she pulled one out. "Watch this one. It's the one where I lose my virginity."

She handed it to me and I turned the case over to look at the number. "06-23-99" Only a few months ago. I looked at her and she was waiting for me to open the case. I first took the old film off of the machine and replaced it in its container, then loaded the new one. I started the machine and the film projected on the screen, starting again with no credits, but the quality of the picture was much better. My sister, looking a lot like she does now, was seated naked on a bed. She took a small dildo and inserted it into her vagina. It appeared small and slipped in without much resistance into her still hairless pussy. I couldn't help looking at my sister, seated next to me, and thinking that I had no idea she was such a --a slut? Bad choice of words. I guess I just couldn't believe she was so sexually experienced. Her face was expressionless, but she kept her attention focused on the screen. I looked down at her flat chest and then at her legs folded under her. She, my sister, was doing that! The dildo slid in and out for about 5 minutes and then stopped. She removed it and set it aside.

My father then stepped into the picture naked and lay down on the bed next to her. She moved so that he could lay on the bed directly in front of the camera. She then laid her head on his abdomen and took his cock into her hand. She massaged it until it became erect and then licked it once or twice before opening her mouth wide and taking the whole head into her mouth. Her eyes were open and she was looking directly into the camera which made me just a little bit uncomfortable. Even while stroking the cock and moving her head up and down, she kept looking at the camera. It was like she was looking at me.

This went on for about a minute and then she repositioned until her legs were spread facing the camera. She resumed her sucking and stroking as my father reached around her and started to massage her hairless cunt. Her expression didn't change -- she just kept on with what she was doing.

After another minute or two, she awkwardly straddled my father with his cock between her legs. Both of them were facing the camera now. With her legs spread, his cock reached up almost to her belly-button. She started to hump his cock and then his hips started to move with the rhythm. It was beginning to look like he would cum all over her belly, but then they stopped and she appeared to be listening for some more instructions.

With help from my father, my sister lifted herself and put his cock at the hairless opening of her vagina. As I watched, her expression changed. Concern was the first change, followed by a grimace and then frank pain as the cock popped into the too tiny opening. I could see tears on my sister's face as she sat with the head of my father's cock buried in her cunt. Not long afterwards, my father started to hump, moving in and out, going deeper and deeper into her cunt while the cuntlips stretched tightly around the shaft.

A few more humps, followed by a couple of jerks, and my father and sister were still. She slowly rose off of his cock and cum poured from between the hairless cunt lips covering his still erect cock and lower abdomen. Her inner thighs became covered with the viscous slime as the cum continued to pour out. Droplets of a darker liquid, apparently blood, then began to drip as my sister rose and moved to one side. She then curled into a ball and held her hands between her thighs. My father leaned over and gently rubbed her arm while he said some words.

"What was he saying to you," I asked, unable to control my curiosity.

"He said, 'Don't worry, honey, it won't hurt so bad next time.'"

My father left the bed, and my sister stayed in the same position until the tape went blank and ended. I reached over and turned the machine off and we sat in silence. I didn't know whether I should watch more or not, but I knew I wanted to watch them all. Silent tears ran down her face as she kept looking at the blank "screen." I decided that asking about watching another tape wouldn't be the right thing to do just then, so I just sat there. I couldn't figure out if she was crying because our father was dead, or because of the memory of the pain. Or perhaps something else.

Her voice was rough and punctuated with sniffles as she said, "Now you know."

"Yeah, I guess I know. How come you never told me?" I asked.

"Daddy made me promise not to tell. And I didn't until I told Mother. I figured she would understand."

"You told Mother? When?" I asked, rather shocked to be the last in on the "secret."

"About a month ago."

"How did she take it?"

"At first she didn't believe me. Then I showed her the box. She said it had to stop, so that's why--"

She paused and I thought she wasn't going to continue, but then she said, "That's why we killed him."

That day, my sister and I reached an understanding. The materials in the box were mine to view, but not to share. In exchange, I would say nothing about what I knew to anyone. I think it's a fair trade. Of course, you can't tell anyone. That's why it's a secret!

I won't tell if you won't.