Turmoil

The next morning I awoke to find that Jenny had migrated to my bed at some point during the night. She was curled up next to me with her arm draped over my stomach and her lips parted as if she were about to say something. She was still fast asleep, but I thought I detected a trace of a smile on her face. I eased her arm off of me and very gently slid off of the bed, my bladder was full and my mouth dry, I needed a piss and a cup of tea, in that order.

When I returned to my bedroom Jenny was still fast asleep, but she had spread herself completely over my bed. Her left leg had come out from under the duvet and I could see almost all the way up to her nearly bald pussy. My prick began to stir again as I looked.

I sat on the edge of the bed with my cup of tea and just admired her beauty; her leg was bent at the knee which meant her thighs were wide apart. Very slowly I began to move the duvet to reveal more of her leg. I wanted to bury my face between her perfect legs and drink in the aroma and taste of her sex, but with a rationale I didn't know I possessed I decided to leave her to make the first move this morning. If she had changed her mind about what had happened the night before, I didn't want to give her any reason to tell her mum or the police.

I needn't have worried though; I was sitting at my breakfast bar drinking my third cup of tea of the morning and reading the paper when Jenny came down the stairs. Her hair was a mess, and she was moving a bit like a zombie, but she was unashamedly sexily, naked.

I resisted the temptation to throw her onto the couch and feast on her body, instead I said, "Good morning sleepy head" with a smile. "What do you want for breakfast?"

"Toast and some juice would be great please." She said as if still half asleep.

It was 7:30 and Jenny had an hour before she would have to leave for school so I said, "Go and have a shower, and I'll have it ready for you when you come back down sweetheart." She turned to go back up the stairs then stopped, turned around, came back to me and gave me a big hug. I lifted her up with my hands cupping her perfect little arse and she gave me one of the sexiest kisses I have ever had.

"I love you Paul." She said as I put her down.

"I love you too, you are the most beautiful, and the sexiest girl I have ever met." I replied, and I meant it. "Now go and have a shower then get ready for school while I get your breakfast.

She came downstairs about half an hour later dressed in her school uniform. It consisted of a plain white blouse with a grey and blue striped tie, it was buttoned down the front, a knee length grey pleated skirt covered her legs, it was quite shapeless. She wore white ankle socks and plain black flat shoes. She had put her long blonde hair up in a ponytail which reached down to the small of her back. Under normal circumstances I wouldn't have looked twice if I had seen her outside dressed like this, but after last night she looked incredible. I was infatuated, I felt like a schoolboy, in love with his first real girlfriend.

After she had eaten her breakfast Jenny came over to me and sat on my lap facing me, her legs either side of my thighs. She put her arms around my neck and kissed me deep and long. I guess that answered any doubts I had about her regretting what had happened between us. She pulled away from me after a minute, stood up and almost skipped to the door.

"See you later Paul", she called as she put her blazer on, picked her school bag up and opened the front door.

"Bye, hunny" I replied, as I heard the door close.

I couldn't believe how empty I felt, it was like I had just had my favourite toy taken off of me. She had only just walked out the door, and already I was counting down the minutes until school finished. I was absolutely besotted, I couldn't help laughing at myself for feeling the way I did, I was a grown man for fuck sake.

I decided that I would immerse myself in my work. I had lots that I could be getting on with, and hopefully I could lose track of time and the day would pass much more quickly.

I tried, believe me I tried, but I just couldn't get her out of my head. I started writing code for a website I was creating for a high street chain of clothes retailers, then all of a sudden visions of a naked Jenny would flash across my mind. In the end I gave up, I had a bit of time until they would start chasing me for the finished website, and I simply could not keep focused enough to do any work.

I would go shopping, that would do it, retail therapy always seemed to work for women, so why not for me? I drove to my local retail park to set about spending my hard earned cash.

I wandered around window shopping for a couple of hours before my stomach let me know that I had been seriously neglecting it. The food hall was not the best so I decided a pub lunch would fit the bill. After eating a delicious beef and ale pie, and downing two pints of best bitter, I returned to my so far, pathetic attempt at shopping. I found a women's clothes shop and decided to have a look around for a present for Jenny, I noticed it had quite a large lingerie section towards the back and headed that way. When I saw the display of bras and panties I suddenly remembered that Jenny was only 11 years old, and none of the stuff here would fit her, the training bras and plain cotton panties they had for children her age were pretty boring so I turned to leave. As I did however, a sales assistant materialised right in front of me. She was a pretty girl aged about 21 I guessed.

"Can I help you sir?" she asked with a smile that said, "What have you done that you need to say sorry for?" as if that's the only reason men buy sexy underwear for their wives or girlfriends.

Realising that I couldn't tell her the truth, **I'm trying to buy something for my 11 year old lover, can you recommend anything really sexy**. I said that I wanted something for a friend, but I've just realised that I don't know her size.

"I'm going to have to sneak a look in her panty drawer then come back." The look she gave me made me think that I might have been better telling her the truth; she looked like I had just killed the Easter bunny by hitting it over the head with Mother Theresa. I didn't really care though; I just walked out of the shop

I was disappointed that I had not been able to get Jenny (me), any sexy underwear, but I still had time to look around the rest of the arcade. Maybe something else would come to mind.

It was while I was wandering that it began to dawn on me exactly what I was letting myself in for. I was going to have to change the way I thought about so many things. For example, how were we going to keep our relationship a secret from her mother? On the subject of secrets, I realised that I hadn't said anything to Jenny about keeping what we had done a secret from everybody. What if she decided to boast to one of her friends at school about having had sex with a man. I couldn't get the feeling that I was a pervert out of my mind either, before last night I was a perfectly normal 32 year old man with a very healthy sexual appetite, now I'm a paedophile, the scum of the earth, the worst of the worst. It hit me so hard that I almost collapsed; a lady walking towards me grabbed my arm to steady me and asked if I was ok, "do you need any help?" she asked.

"No, I'm fine, it's just a headache, but thank you." I replied

I couldn't live like this, I thought. I'm going to have to put a stop to it. No matter how difficult it was going to be, and I was under no illusions there, I knew I had to end this when Jenny got home from school. I would tell her over dinner. I had changed from being besotted, and planning all the things I was going to teach Jenny about sex, to being completely and utterly terrified and appalled by my behaviour. I nearly cried there and then, I felt absolutely desolate.

I really didn't feel that I could continue shopping, so I made my way back to the car park, then drove home to wallow in self-disgust and pity for the rest of the afternoon.

It had started to rain at about 3 o'clock and by 3:15 it was hammering down so I decided to go to pick Jenny up rather than have her walk home and get soaked. I drove to the school and sat in the car waiting for her to come out. A few of the young mothers cowering under umbrella's were giving me the once over, mostly because of my car I suspect, I have an Audi R8 Spyder, which in the summer looks great with the roof down, but is still quite eye catching even in the rain. I don't think they could even see me behind the windows, but it still felt good to imagine that I was the subject of their conversation.

I had made a firm decision during the afternoon that I was going to put an end to any further exploitation of Jenny, and despite the fact that she was a willing partner, and that it was Jenny who had instigated the sexual contact, that's what I felt it was. I had used my position to exploit a curious and impressionable young girl for my own depraved satisfaction.

Children started filtering out of the school gates and eventually I saw Jenny with a couple of friends heading towards the road. I tooted the horn and she looked up and spotted me. Waving to her friends she came running over and got in the passenger side.

She leaned over to give me a kiss, but I pulled away and told her to put her seatbelt on. She looked at me with a puzzled and slightly hurt expression on her face.

"We can't be seen to be kissing in public like that hun," I said. "People will get the wrong idea." (Or as has been the case, the right idea)

"Sorry Paul, I was only going to kiss your cheek," she said, the hurt obvious in her voice.

"Oh, sorry," I stuttered, "I guess I'm just a little paranoid, I've been doing a lot of thinking today, that's all.

Again she looked at me with puzzlement on her face, "What have you been thinking about?" she asked, not really sure she wanted to know the answer.

"We'll talk when we get home sweetheart," I said and started the car.

"How did your exams go?" I asked to lighten the mood as I pulled away from the curb.

"Ok I think," she said. "I found them quite easy actually; I think I will pass them all."

"That's great, you can choose what we have for dinner then, as a prize for being so clever," I said with a smile

"Can we have Chinese please, I love Chinese but mum doesn't like it so I don't get to have it very often."

"You can have whatever you want sweetheart, but we will have to wait until 5 o'clock for that, they don't open until then." I said "Are you sure you can wait?" I asked.

"Yes, I think so, I want to have a bath when we get back, and change out of this horrible old uniform anyway." She said.

I was glad of that because it meant that I would have time to finalise exactly what I was going to say to her, I needed to have it clearly mapped out in my mind so that I had an answer for every argument she could think of for us to carry on.

As soon as we got in Jenny said she was going to run a bath, "can I use your bath Paul, it's got those jet things in it, and they look like fun."

"If you want to darling, just be careful you don't put them on too strongly, or you'll flood the bathroom." I replied.

She thanked me then skipped up the stairs. I made myself a cup of tea and began steeling myself for the discussion we were going to be having when she came back downstairs. I was determined that nothing was ever going to happen between us again, even if that meant really hurting and upsetting her. I knew it was going to hurt and upset me.

About half an hour later Jenny came back down, her hair was up in a towel, she had another towel wrapped round her torso, and Barbie slippers on her feet. She looked so small and vulnerable, and I suddenly felt even more guilty. Not only had I used her body for my own gratification, but I was about to tell her that it could never happen again. I felt like I was saying to her "I've had my fun, now it's got to stop."

She must have noticed the turmoil I was going through from the look on my face because she said "What's the matter, what did you want to talk about Paul?" Christine hadn't been kidding when she said that she was bright.

"This isn't going to be easy sweetheart." I started. "But what we did last night was wrong, I know that it was what you wanted, but I should never have allowed it to happen."

"You enjoyed it too," Jenny said defiantly.

"Yes I did! To tell you the truth it was the most wonderful feeling I have ever had in my life, but it was still wrong."

I paused to gather my thoughts then said, "You are 11 years old and curious about your body, it's natural for someone your age, and you have done absolutely nothing wrong. None of this is your fault Jenny." She started to say something, but I stopped her with a gesture.

"I am an adult and should have been stronger, I should never have touched you the way I did, it is wrong." I continued. She interrupted me then saying, "I wanted you to, I still want you to, please don't stop now Paul. I loved the feelings you gave me, and I want to feel like that again tonight, tomorrow night, and every chance I get after that," she said. Then before I could say anything she added with tears beginning to roll down her cheeks, "I love you Paul, and I want you to love me."

I began to cry now as well, "I do love you Jenny; I love you with all my heart. That's why I have to stop this now. What I did last night was abuse, if we were caught I would go to jail." I was sobbing now. "I can't do this to you Jenny; it will stay with you for the rest of your life, and believe me you will not feel like this in ten years' time. If we carry on you will end up hating me." I said between sobs.

Jenny came over to where I was sitting on the sofa, leant over and hugged me; she started to wipe the tears from my face with the edge of the towel round her head. "I will never hate you Paul, never in a million years, no matter what happens I will love you, I will always be in love with you, and I want you to be the one who teaches me about sex, I want you to take my virginity, and I want you to be the father of my babies."

I was stunned; I had no idea that she had been thinking that far ahead. "Jenny, you are talking about years down the line, you will have met and fallen in love with half a dozen boys of your own age by the time you are ready to settle down and have children," I said.

She just looked at me and shook her head. "You will always be the one I love, no matter what happens, it will always be you." I could tell by the look on her beautiful 11 year old face that she believed what she was saying.

I could feel my determination beginning to waver, I started to believe what she was saying, she seemed so sure of herself. She could have tried to tempt me by dropping her towel and using her body to entice me, but she didn't. I had a newfound admiration and respect for her. She was arguing her case with sincere adult feelings, and a sense of purpose that most adults don't possess. I fell a little bit more in love with her, if that was possible.

"I need time to think about this Jenny, I'm not comfortable, I feel like a paedophile," I said. "Shit, I am a paedophile, I know you are a willing, even eager partner, but that doesn't change the fact that you are only a child, and I'm an adult who should know better," I added. "Let me order dinner and we'll talk some more afterwards. Go and get dressed while I call the Chinese."

Jenny nodded and started up the stairs, I watched her go with an incredibly heavy heart. She stopped and turned to face me "Whatever you decide to do Paul, I will still love you, and I will still want you to be my lover." She turned again and disappeared up the stairs.

She was still upstairs when the doorbell rang with our dinner delivery.

"Jenny," I called, but got no answer. I put the delivery on the kitchen worktop and went upstairs, as I approached Jenny's bedroom I heard her crying. I knocked gently on her door and pushed it open. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, still wrapped in the towel, with her head in her hands. I sat beside her and put my arm round her shoulders. She buried her head into my chest and I could feel the sobs that wracked her body.

I felt like an absolute bastard, this was all my fault. If I hadn't been so weak in the first place this would never have happened. But it had happened and I now had to deal with the consequences.

"I'm so sorry Jenny," I said, "I honestly never meant to hurt you like this, if I could do anything to change what has happened I would, but I can't and now you are suffering, I hate myself for doing this to you."

Jenny turned her face up to me, her eyes red rimmed from the crying, and smiled. "I am just as guilty as you are." She said "I started this all off, remember," she added.

I hugged her closer and kissed her forehead, "I guess we're both as bad as one another then," I said. She let out a snotty laugh, and I went to get some tissue from the bathroom.

"Let's go eat before it gets cold," I said and lifted her to her feet. She put her arms around me and hugged herself tight into my body, I squeezed back.

After dinner we sat on the sofa, me with a cup of tea, and Jenny with a glass of coke. I was trying to think of how I could bring the subject up again without upsetting Jenny any more than I already had, but could think of nothing. As the silence stretched it became more and more uncomfortable. Eventually I felt I had to say something.

"So what are we going to do about this?" I blurted, instantly regretting my bluntness.

"I don't know," Jenny was almost in tears again.

"I can't see a way out of this without you getting hurt, and me feeling like a bastard," I said.

"You swore again," Jenny half giggled and half cried.

"I'm sorry, but that's how I feel," I replied.

"I thought we'd agreed that we're both to blame," she said.

"You can't be held responsible; you're 11 for christ's sake," I said a bit more harshly than I had meant to. I reached out to put my arm around Jenny's shoulder to show that my anger wasn't directed at her.

"Please Paul, don't make it stop, I have never felt like I did last night, and I want to keep feeling like it, but with you, not anyone else." Jenny pleaded with me. She was looking up straight into my eyes when she said it, and I nearly gave in then.

"But sweetheart, if we get caught I will go to jail," I reasoned

"But we still did what we did last night, you could go to jail for that, if it ever came out," she said.

With a huge shock I realised that she could now blackmail me to do pretty much anything she wanted. "You wouldn't tell anyone would you?" I asked nervously.

She looked directly into my eyes and after giving it some thought, said, "No, I wouldn't do that to you, but it's still true. You knew what you did, we did; last night could mean you going to jail, but you, we; still did it."

How could I argue with her logic, she was right? I had thought about the consequences last night, and dismissed them. Jenny must have seen the doubt on my face and she pressed home her advantage.

"Anyway, how is anyone ever going to find out? I'm not going to tell anyone, and I'm sure you won't, so no one will ever know."

The fight had gone out of me; she had won me over with her logic. I would just have to deal with my own feelings and get used to the idea that I was going to have an 11 year old lover.

"I don't know what to say to you sweetheart." I said, "Last night felt as good for me as it did for you, and I would love for it to carry on, I am just going to have to fight my demons, and accept that I am now a card carrying, fully committed paedo bastard." I added as I reached out to her.

I took her into my arms and kissed her warm sensual mouth; she responded immediately and climbed onto my lap, facing me. The towel fell away from her body and her pert breasts poked into my chest. I picked her up and carried her upstairs to my bed. She wouldn't stop smiling.

Just as I laid her down the telephone started to ring and I picked up the extension I had beside my bed. "Hello," I said.

"Hello Paul, it's Christine, how are things going? Has she been any trouble?"

I had to stifle a laugh as I said "No she has been an absolute delight, do you want to speak to her?"

"Yes please, but I need to talk to you again before I go, I'll tell her to give the phone back to you when we are finished."

"Ok," I said my curiosity fairly obvious in my voice.

I handed the phone to Jenny and listened to her half of the conversation.

"Hello mum," she said. Then "I did ok I think, the tests were fairly easy and I think I passed them all."

"Thanks.".....

"How is Aunt Sally and the baby?" ......

"Have they got a name for her yet?"......

"Oh why, what's the matter with her?".....

"Is she going to be ok?".....

"Ok, I'll put him back on..... love you too."

Jenny handed the phone back to me and I said "Hi, I'm back. Problems?" I asked, picking up on what Jenny had said.

"Sally has got an infection, where she was split during the birth, Paul I'm really sorry, but I don't think I'm going to be able to get down for Jenny until Sunday, at the earliest. I really hate to dump this on you, but do you think you will be able to look after her until then for me?"

My heart leapt, there really is a God, I thought. "Chris, you just do what you need to do, I will look after Jenny for as long as you need me to, we are getting on famously and she really is no trouble at all." I said, barely keeping the glee from my voice.

"Paul you are a hero, I will really owe you one when I get back. And I will keep you informed about what is happening up here."

"Don't worry about a thing here, and there is no need for you to come back before you are happy that everything will be alright with Sally," I said. "Jenny and I will be fine."

"Ok Paul, I will call you again when I know more about when Sally will be in the clear, and thanks again love, I really appreciate it."

"No problem, I'll speak to you later in the week." "Oh! Does Jenny have a key to your place; she is going to get low on clothes, underwear and stuff?" I asked

"No she doesn't, but if you have to buy anything I will give you the money when I get home," she said.

"I'm not worried about the money, it's just that I'm not very good at buying panties and stuff for 11 year olds," I said with a laugh.

Jenny had covered her mouth with her hands so that her laugh wouldn't be heard by her mother, and I scowled playfully at her.

"Jenny can buy what she needs, just take her to "Delores" in the retail park, that's where we normally go."

Shit, I thought, that was the name of the shop I was in earlier. I hope that the same sales girl isn't working on Saturday or the look I got today will pale into insignificance.

"Ok Chris, give your sister my best wishes and I hope everything turns out ok."

After saying our goodbyes I hung up. Before my hand left the phone Jenny was on me, her mouth attached itself to mine and her tongue was worming its way into my mouth.

After the turmoil I had been in all day, and despite the fact that I felt very slightly guilty about cheating on Christine, with her own preteen daughter no less, I felt wonderful.

I broke away from Jenny's kiss and gently lifted her into the middle of my bed, I stood to start removing my clothes whilst Jenny lay there just looking at me. Once naked I lay beside her and we started to kiss again. My hands wandering all over her gorgeous body. Breaking the kiss again, I slowly moved my mouth to her neck and began kissing and licking her there.

Very slowly my mouth travelled down to her breasts, her nipples hard to my touch and her breathing ragged, and my penis harder and bigger than I had ever felt it before. I moved gently down her body, kissing my way down to her belly button, an innie by the way, Jenny just laid there, her arms by her side, letting me do whatever I wanted, with and to her body. She was breathing heavily now and her eyes were closed, there was a smile on her lips that told me she felt like she was in heaven.

I moved my mouth down to her pudenda and licked my way down to her thighs. She had spread her legs to give me access to her most private parts but I ignored the temptation, instead moving down her legs. She didn't show any of the signs of frustration that I was expecting she just continued to enjoy the sensations I was giving her. Kissing and licking my way down her legs, I raised her left leg into the air and started to kiss my way back up starting with the back of her knee and slowly moving up to her bum. I could see that her pussy was completely soaked with her delicious nectar.

Again resisting the temptation to dive in and taste her, I flicked my tongue across her bum cheeks and into the cleft, just grazing the rosebud of her anus, then I started back down her right leg. I reached the back of her right knee and by this time she was shaking, as if she were on a vibrating bed.

Working my way back up this inside of her legs I eventually reached her pussy. Almost as soon as I touched her outer lips, and before I had been able to get anywhere near her clit, she screamed, her body started an involuntary dance across the bed and she had the most intense orgasm I had ever seen anyone have. I continued to lick her and started to move my tongue up towards her engorged clit, but she put her hands on my head and forced it away.

"I can't," she cried, "It's too much." This said between gasps of breath. Her body was still convulsing and I wasn't even touching her now.

It took her a full 5 minutes for her to get her breath back, and to calm down enough to speak.

"How did you do that?" she asked incredulously.

"Do what?" I said feigning ignorance.

"Make me feel like I was going to explode like that," she said.

"It must have just been a lucky touch," I said with a smile.

"Well don't go breaking any mirrors, I don't want you to lose it," she said.

We both laughed and she started to raise herself off of the bed, pausing for only a second she reached for my cock and pulled me towards her. "I don't think I'm going to be able to do what I wanted to now, my thingy is still quivering." She said pointing to her pussy.

"The adult word for it is your pussy," I said. "And what did you want to do?"

"I wanted to do it, I wanted you to take my virginity," she had a disappointed look on her face, and my cock still in her hand.

I think you might still be a bit small for that darling," I said. "I don't want to hurt you so much that you are put off. When it happens for the first time it will probably be a bit painful, I will have to break your cherry," I said

She looked a bit confused so I explained to her about her hymen and how it breaks when she has sex for the first time, assuming of course that it hadn't broken before, if she had done a lot of gymnastics or horse riding, and that it would bleed a little and be sore. I told her that because she was so young her pussy wouldn't be big enough to take a cock as big as mine without it being quite painful at first. As I explained earlier, my cock is only about average length but it is quite thick.

"Making love is something that we will have to work up to sweetheart, let's start slowly and we will get you used to having things inside you before we have full sex, it will be worthwhile I promise you," I said with what I hoped was a reassuring smile.

She seemed to accept what I said and went back to concentrating on playing with my still rampant cock.

I lay down on my back and Jenny leant over me to take me into her mouth, her warm lips closed around my tool, and her tongue started to work its way round my glans. I knew I wasn't going to be able to last for long, she could have been whacking my cock with a baseball bat and I would have cum, and with the ministrations from her tongue and lips it was a matter of only about a minute before I warned her that I was about to explode. She started bobbing her head faster and smiled while looking directly into my eyes. That was it, that sent me right over the top and I felt my cock spasm as my sperm shot out and into Jenny's waiting mouth. She never spilt a drop; swallowing feverishly she captured every millilitre, and continued to suck until she was sure that I wasn't holding anything back from her.

Exhausted, we both got under the duvet and cuddled up as close as we could, it was like we didn't want to let go in case we got separated and couldn't find each other again.

Neither of us had to energy to get showered so we both lay in the other's arms and drifted off to sleep.

to be continued