Preface

I can recall the whole occasion in vivid detail, and only had to commit the tale to paper exactly as it all happened.

The memories will be hidden from you now by tricks of the mind, Joanie my love. But let me take you back, to the time when your were soon to be twelve years old . . . and bring the events up before your eyes, just as they happened.

To help bring it all back to you, Joanie my love, I write as though it is *you* telling what happened; it is quite long, so your account is in separate chapters: Parts 1-5.

With fondest memories, dearest Joanie,

Your ever loving Uncle Penty X X X X

A Birthday Tomorrow

Thinking back to the time of my twelfth birthday, I remember feeling more and more depressed as the day came closer, with no appetite at meals and sitting around miserably as my spirits sank lower with every new dawn.

On the actual day before my birthday, after Blossom had cleared the breakfast dishes, Uncle Penty was reading the newspaper and I was staring blankly at the Comic Section, . . he said - and I write all these words as close as I can remember now:

"Joanie my love, it's your twelfth birthday tomorrow, and your have been looking more and more miserable every passing day for almost two weeks!"

"You don't have to tell me Uncle Pent!"

"I think I know why you are feeling this way, my love -I've seen the way you have been gazing at the portrait of your dear Mother in the hall."

"You feel bad about the way things turned out twelve years ago, as though it was your fault and you were to blame . . ."

"But as I've said a thousand times, nothing at all about it was "your fault" and I know dear Sis never dreamed for a moment of blaming you Joanie dearest . . ."

"You just *say* that!"

"Come and sit here on my knee, Joanie love I want to cuddle you . . ."

"Our feelings, you know, aren't always rational, and I understand very well what you are going through each time your birthday comes round . . ."

And I buried my face in Penty's shoulder so he wouldn't see my tears: I always loved the smell and feel of his rough tweed jacked!

"I want this year to be different though my dearest Joanie -This year I am going to try and help you as much as I can to change your feelings so you can have a really happy carefree day tomorrow!!"

"But how, Uncle Penty?!!"

"You've done a lot of reading, Joanie love, and you know about people doing penance for things they have done wrong - or think they have done wrong . . atoning for things they feel very guilty about."

"I want you to be able to atone for any faults you may have committed in your short life."

"Atone? You mean I just have to do something I don't really like?"

"Well, really *really* don't like! It will hurt you a lot - so you really *know* you are doing penance-and you will awake tomorrow on your birthday, still hurting, but feeling as free as a lark and ready to sing!!!"

"Really?! That'd be wonderful!!!"

"If you agree to do this, Joanie love, Blossom will have this evening off and leave the house, and I have asked some close friends to come here and help me with your atonement."

"Uncle Penty I will do anything if I can stop feeling so miserable. And if you've already asked your friends to come then you knew I'd say "Yes"!"

"Good!!! They have all met you before at one time or another -and they all very much want to help you . . ."

"See if you like what I suggest: We will all be in the dining room upstairs while they play poker with me there . . ."

"And the one who wins each game -so it's a matter of chance who does it -will come over and spank you for five minutes or cause you pain in some other way."

"Your wrists and ankles will be held by soft leather straps, so you can't move very much to make it a real penance for you . . ."

"Penty, they really will be a penances for me, won't they?!"

"It will only be for your own good, not in any way for the pleasure of me or my friends, and by the end of the evening you will be hurting very badly and you certainly will have done your penance to atone fully for any wrongs you may have done to anyone in the past."

"If you think it'll work, I want to do it!!"

"I promise you will wake up tomorrow on the day you are twelve with your body still hurting a lot, but with joy in your heart, so you will be smiling and laughing with all the other friends you have asked to your party. And a conjurer is coming too who will make a white rabbit come out of a hat . . . and you will have a wonderful time -after you have atoned in full tonight . . ."

"Are you brave enough to do this, Joanie my love, so it can be the first birthday that you will enjoy in the happy and carefree way your dear Mother would have wanted?"

Long before dear Penty had finished the last bit the tears were running down my face and I was sobbing quietly as he talked -He had seen exactly how terrible I had been feeling and why!

"Yes!!! I hope your friends hurt me very much! I doooo!!! Oh! Thank you Penty! I couldn't ask for anything better to happen to me tonight!!! I do love you, dear wise Penty!!"

And gave dear Uncle Penty a big hug with my wet face rubbing up against his strong chin . . .

"Joanie my dear sweet niece!!! I want you to go to your room now and spend the day there. I'll ask Blossom to bring you a tray with some lunch on it, and tea at five."

"Look at the illustrations in this book as you sit beside the lovely picture you have of your dear Mother."

"It is called "Penances for a Nun", from the Priory of Saint Radegund in Cambridge -it was the punishment manual used for the nuns there."

"Thank you Uncle Penty!"

"That priory is a college now, which I went to, and the book was discovered recently in its old library -it was written on parchment more than seven hundred years ago and this is a xerox copy of it -the college presented one to each alumnus who gave a lot at their last fund-raising . . ."

"The words are all in Latin but the illustrations were drawn with a pen in black ink and copied well -you'll find they speak for themselves and show you the sort of penances that the young nuns in the convent used to do -punishments mostly given them by the visiting Father Confessor . ."

"Thank you Penty, you do think of everything!!"

"As you look at those pictures of one nun after another being punished with canes and belts and whips on all parts of their bodies and being made to stand naked out of doors, think to yourself of the wrongs for which you will be atoning this evening . . ."

"Yes, Uncle Penty! I will!! I will!!!"

"Prepare yourself for the pain you will bear tonight - bravely -as you think about why you need to atone . . ."

"I think this is going to change my life, Penty, I do!!!"

"Yes, Joanie ! I think it will ! ! I will come up to your door at seven o'clock, when it's dark outside and my friends have arrived."

"Better start to prepare yourself at six o'clock -first do all you can on the toilet then have a hot bath and scrub yourself with soap, rinse off well and dry carefully with your big warm bath towel."

" Put on clean underwear and your old summer dress -the yellow one that I always say looks so nice on you -with white socks and your black shiny slippers and brush your lovely hair until it shines . ."

"And remember all the time -It is only for your own good, Joanie my dear love, and my friends and I will help you to atone."

"You are wonderful Penty!!!"

"You have a clock on your wall so please be ready and waiting for me at seven . . ."

"All right, Joanie my sweet? Now, take the book and upstairs to your room and think what this is all about!"

"I'll be ready for you, Uncle Penty!!"

He gave me a gentle hug and kissed my forehead, then, as I turned to go he gave my bottom a light pat.

Through my tears, I grinned over my shoulder as I went -I do so love Uncle Penty.

Penance For A Nun

Getting up to my room I locked the door then lay on my bed gazing across at dear Mama's picture until I could bear it no longer and looked away to the book that Uncle Penty had given me.

As I began to turn the leaves the pictures sprang out at me! They were simple black and white line drawings and very clearly showed the penances that nuns had to undergo at that ancient priory when they had disobeyed the rules . . .

The first pictures showed a young nun bending over a big table and holding onto it; her habit was folded up to show her bare from the waist down . . . and a monk was spanking her plump bottom with his hand.

Another picture showed a young nun being spanked by a monk with a piece of wood like a paddle -in another picture, with a cane -in another, with a bunch of straight twigs.

It must have hurt the young nuns terribly!

I gazed again at Mama's picture and wished it was me being beaten like the pictures showed -and crying out in pain as the canes cut into my bottom as a strong man beat me again and again . . .

The thought made my spine tingle and I clenched my cheeks together to make me tingle down there too . . .

In the next pictures a young nun was lying face down and naked full length on the refectory table with a pillow under her middle pushing her bottom upwards.

Four nuns held her wrists and ankles while a monk beat her back and bottom and legs with a thin switch.

And the next picture showed the monk beating her spread-eagle again on the table with a bunch of thin switches tied together with string.

The young nun's body writhed and contorted on the table in pain and her face showed her screaming in agony with deep cuts and bruises all over her back and legs and bottom . . .

I gazed at these pictures for a long time wriggling and squirming face down on my pillow with my cheeks clenching and unclenching as they made me tingle unbearably while I could almost feel the searing pains borne by the young nun.

And the horrible monk looked as though he was enjoying the pain and torment he was inflictingwhich made me glad - and I wished it was me being beaten . . .

I looked across again at Mama's picture and silently begged her to help me atone tonight in the way I wanted -most painfully -for her own dear sake . . .

The very next page showed a young nun standing and tied naked facing an upright wood frame in the chapel, and her head thrown back with her mouth gagged and eyes rolling in torment as a nun was beating her back, while a queue of other nuns waited behind her -and an old monk was supervising the penance . . .

As I drank in the whole scene I truly felt the agony of the penance being done by that naked young nun in the chapel . . .

Lying back on my bed I watched as monks hammered together an even more fearsome framework of wood ready for my own penance

I would have to lie horizontal on this frame flat on my face legs and arms spread wide and an older monk was practicing with a lash made of many strips of thin leather which he whirled fiercely around her head before bringing it down on a sack of meal - CRACKKKKKKKKK

The noise of the hammering became louder and louder until I woke . . . it was Blossom knocking at my door and calling:

"Are you all right, Miss Joanie? Open the door! I've got your lunch! Wake up now! Come and open the door! Miss Joanie!!!""

"All right, Blossom! I'm coming!!"

I threw on my dressing gown and rushed and opened the door: Blossom made her way across the room and put the tray she was carrying down on the table.

After making sure I was all right and had just been asleep Blossom went out shutting the door again as she left.

She had brought me a bowl of hot soup with bread. My sleep had left me hungry -I swallowed the hot soup eagerly and ate all the bread -the first time in days that I'd felt at all hungry.

I was feeling happier all ready in anticipation of doing my penance, and I gazed again at the picture of dear Mama . . .

I hadn't quite got to the end of the book of "Penances for a Nun" and picked it up to look at the rest of the pictures . . .

There were many that showed nuns kneeling in penance painfully on stone floors and wooden steps.

Some out in the open in stocks and pillories and some of the penitent nuns were fastened there naked while it rained . . .

In some drawings the shadows moved from one drawing to the next to show the passing of time while an older nun sat watching the penitent hour after hour . . .

But the last pictures in the book of "Penances for a Nun" were the most terrible.

The first showed a young nun wearing a black cloak and barefoot being led by a monk with a rope around her neck walking through the snow at night and followed by several other nuns carrying candles and singing . . .

Next picture showed the nuns standing and still singing as they watch while the monk tied the penitent's hands high up to a post in the snowy ground.

The third picture showed the nuns singing again to cover the cries and lamentations of the penitent as they walked away led by the monk carrying the young nun's cloak while she stands naked in the snow at night shivering weeping and a wolf on a distant hill is silhouetted against the full moon . . . howling.

The fourth picture shows the moon moved - later -and the young nun is being carried back to the convent with her black cloak over her again while she is stiff and unconscious from the icy cold . . .

In the fifth and last picture in the book the naked young penitent is being warmed back to life by two large and equally naked nuns standing one behind her and the other in front

They clasp the freezing-cold young nun in a sandwich between them as they stand before a large open fire while the monk holds his hand up in blessing to show that all is forgiven to the young nun following her penance . . . and the young nun looks toward the monk with an expression of beatific ecstasy on her face...

I gazed long and lovingly at dear Mama's picture as I looked forward to being free of all need for further atonement after tonight when I had done the penances that dear Uncle Penty had promised me . . .

I sat lost in thought as to what these penances might be when Penty's friends came to play poker to decide who was going to give me each of the punishments . . .

My imagination wandered amongst all the pictures I'd drunk in... and I must have dozed off again because the next I knew -Blossom was knocking on my door again with:

"Here's a nice cup of tea for you Miss Joanie! and some bread and butter -it's your favorite current bread that you like so much!"

"That is a beautiful picture of your poor dear mother there! What a lovely kind lady she was. She looks down on us all now from a much happier place, Miss Joanie, I'm sure!!"

"I am just getting ready to go out for the evening and Mister Embury says I am not to come back before midnight -he has something private going on he says and I'm not to disturb anyone when I do come in. So you just be careful and mind your manners tonight young lady!"

"And I'll say "Goodnight" now Miss Joanie!"

"Good night Blossom! And thank you for the tea and everything . . . You are so nice to me!"

I went and hugged her comfortable shoulders and kissed her chubby cheek . . .

I enjoyed the bread and butter and the tea -then I began to get myself ready just like Uncle Penty had said.

After using the toilet I ran a hot tub and made myself smell nice with the soap.

My thick bath towel was warm from the hot pipes and it felt lovely on my skin . . .

As I stood in front of the long mirror in my bedroom I looked at my growing body and I used a hand mirror as I turned to see myself from the side and back.

My frame was still slender and little boobies had only just started to show

I didn't think anyone else even noticed the tiny breasts that were beginning to sprout on me . . . And if they did I would have been mortally embarrassed: My breasts often felt so painful at times as they slowly changed shape and the pains thrilled me strangely . .

It was a curious exciting kind of agony I felt if I slapped them!

My bottom was another matter though . . . my body and arms and long legs were still slender but my bottom jutted out firm and round behind me. I ran my hands up and down over it slowly enjoying their touch as they caressed my roundness . . .

Then I saw Mama's picture and I was overwhelmed again with the feeling that it was wrong that I even existed . . .

I must stop daydreaming: I had serious work to do to be ready for the penances that I needed and wanted so much!

First a white cotton bra and panties then my yellow print summer dress white calf-length socks and black shiny slippers -and I gave those an extra shine!

I sat and combed my hair -it was shoulder length then and I brushed it until it gleamed in the light then tied it back with a plain white ribbon

I sat then sadly gazing at the picture of my poor dear Mother with tears welling up in my eyes knowing how much I needed to atone for what I had done to my darling Mama twelve years ago . . .

A quiet knock at my door and Penty opened it:

"Are you ready Joanie dear?"

"Our friends are all here now. and we will do our best to help you expiate any wrongs you have done -if you're still sure you want to atone with painful penances?"

"It's all to help you and you must decide!"

"Do you still want to?"

Tears were in my eyes and Penty could see that: he understood when I just nodded my head firmly.

He took me by the waist and kissed me lovingly on my forehead saying:

"Dearest Joanie! Let's go down now!"

And he led the way down the stairs to the dining room on the floor below where three men were standing waiting for us.

Joanie's First Penances

I saw the dining table had been folded away against the wall and a small round one had been set out ready for a card game.

Penty's three friends were standing talking and turned towards us as we entered the dining room. Like Penty, they all had sun-tanned faces and looked trim and fit.

Two of them were dressed casually as though for a barbecue - or an evening of poker -and had drinks in their hands.

The third man had no drink and wore a grey monk's habit -like in the drawings of "Penances for a Nun" . . .

"Joanie, these friends have come to help you to atone for all wrongs you have ever committed and to mete out painful penances upon you."

"I think you should bow in submission to each one in turn and ask him to help you . . ."

"Joanie, this is Dr. Cooper, a paediatric specialist."

Gratefully I saw he looked like a doctor I would gladly entrust with my life:

"Dr. Cooper, please help me!" (bowing to him from my waist)

"I will do my very best, Joan, my dear" (and he bowed his head to me in return)

"Joanie, this is Mr. Brown. He is the Abbot of Greyfriars' Monastery but he would like you to call him just plain "Mr. Brown"."

His hands were folded together out of sight in the sleeves of his cloak and the Abbot's kindly face behind his small beard looked as though he had spent his life helping people in difficulties . . .

"Mr. Brown, please help me!"

As we bowed to each other, he said something, sounded like:

"Pax vobis cum, dear Joan!"

"Joanie, this is Sir John Love; He is an expert on the Comte de Sade and writes books about him."

Sir John was taller than Penty and the other two, and as he looked down deep into my eyes, his pleasant worldly smile spoke volumes of understanding, and in a surprised voice he murmured, sounded like a name:

"Justine!!!!"

"Sir John, please help me!"

"My dear Joan, that will be my great pleasure!" (and he returned my bow too)

"Joanie, we four are going to play poker at the table here and the winner of each game will have the privilege of helping you to atone for your wrongdoings by giving you a painful penance of his choosing for a period of five minutes."

"You will start by bending over the back of that padded leather armchair while I tie your wrists and ankles to the legs . . ."

"Do you have any questions, Joanie my dear?"

"No questions, Uncle, thank you."

But turning to the other three I implored them:

"Just do please all be sure you make me atone fully tonight - please!"

And Dr. Cooper, Mr. Brown and Sir John all bowed their heads solemnly in acquiescence.

"Follow me, Joanie, and I will tie you in place on the armchair . . ."

The dark brown padded leather armchair was turned so my back would be towards the round table that had been set up for the poker game.

The padded leather armchair had a low back so my feet still touched the floor even after Uncle Penty had positioned me to bend right over its soft round padded back with my bottom well over so it was facing upwards at the ceiling. There was a bulge upwards in the leather in the middle of the back which pressed firmly against my clitty . . .

Uncle Penty tied soft leather thongs from my wrists down to the front feet of the chair.

"Is that comfortable, Joanie my dear? Not too tight?"

"It's all right, Uncle Penty Thank you!"

Next he reached up under my skirt tugged and took my white cotton panties down and right off over my shoes -then threw them away over into a corner.

A leather strap around one ankle and he pulled it over to a back leg of the chair and tied it there.

Then a leather strap around the other ankle and pulled that ankle across to the other chair leg and tied it too so my legs were stretched wide apart as I lay helplessly bent right over the back of the padded leather arm chair with wrists and ankles tied firmly in place . . .

"Are you lying comfortably, Joanie dear? You are going to be there for some time!"

"Yes thank you Uncle Penty - - -"

I could see a small table beside the armchair: it had a sand timer like for boiling eggs and several implements looking menacing and ready for my atonements -a ping-pong bat, a leather bedroom slipper of Uncle Penty's a thin narrow leather belt another belt - thick and heavy a decorator's wooden three-foot rule an old and much-used riding crop I'd seen before a lash with long strips of soft black leather . . .but fiercest of all were some willow canes standing in water -I quailed just at the sight of them standing there in a tall glass jug . . .

Was I even going to survive the atonements they were going to inflict me? I was only twelve . . . . Maybe I would die with the pain and agony of my punishments!

And that was what I really wanted - - - wasn't it?!

I must have let out a groan - because Uncle Penty asked:

"Joanie my dear are you sure you still want to do this?"

From where I was firmly anchored over the round back of the padded leather armchair anchored by the thongs round my wrists and ankles . . . I just nodded my head hard.

"Remember, Joanie love, you are going to suffer penances for your wrongdoings because you have asked to . ."

"If you want us to stop at any time you have only to say so . . .and he smiled kindly and rather wistfully at me."

Penty set a mirror on a stand in front of me and a big cheval dressing mirror behind me, a bit to one side so I saw the back of my dress in the reflection as I lay there bent over the padded back of the leather armchair.

"There, Joanie love! Nothing will be hidden from you! You can see everything that's going on!"

Then Uncle Penty and the other three sat themselves down at the table:

"Shall we leave our drinks until afterwards? We need very good judgment now on the amount pain we are giving . . ."

They sat so they could all see me and I could see each of them with the mirror in front of me . . .

Then they began to play, betting with the wooden tokens that we use for games . . .

There was shuffling of cards and dealing and people saying 'Buy two', 'Stick' and 'See you' . . . But even now, I still don't understand poker!

With the mirrors and from where my head was down near the seat of the padded leather chair I could see the whole dining room with its cedar-paneled walls and family portraits of ancestors - Penty's and mine too -who were going to witness my atonement this evening!

I hoped they would think I fully expiated all the wrong I had done by the time I went to bed tonight . . .

I was glad Mama's portrait was out in the hall so she wouldn't actually see the pains I was going to suffer -it might have upset her to watch my agonies . . .

Soon Penty said:

"I win!"

He collected his tokens from the others then stood up and walked over to me.

Without a pause he lifted the hem of my dress up and tucked it into the neck.

My bottom was completely bare - naked -legs pulled wide apart to show everythingggggggggggg facing to the three strange men -Dr. Cooper, the Abbot and Sir John and Uncle Penty too . . .

My white legs and bottom stood out vividly against the dark brown leather of the padded armchair that I was tied to . . .

It was agony being tied in place no even able to wriggle . . . The humiliation of being exposed and displayed to them like this!!

My face went crimson with shame I'm sure -my insides just went rigid with embarrassment but I knew it was all part of my penance . . .

Penty said:

"Remember: I'm only doing this for you, Joanie . . ."

He turned over the sand timer on the table beside me -and he began to wallop my bottom with his hand.

I could see in the mirror how my cheeks wobbled each time his hand met my bottom - SMACKKKKKK!!!

Penty took a long time between each smack then gently rubbed and fondled my stinging bottom with his hand to soothe my sore cheeks before the next wallop

His hand was hard and it hurt me awfully, and my clitty thumped with a jolt against the knob in the top of the padded leather armchair at every thud of his heavy hand and felt strangely exciting with the pain . . .

I couldn't stop myself from crying and tears were soon pouring down my face wetting the towel on the seat of the padded leather armchair but I did my best not to make any noise and I don't think I did more than gasp at each stinging blow . . .

I watched in the mirror as my bottom got redder and redder from Penty's hard hand spanking my poor soft round cheeks making them wobble with each SLAPPPP of his hard hand . . . until by the time he stopped my bottom was hurting dreadfully and it was bright scarlet . . .

Then . . . . Penty just walked away leaving my skirt up with the hem tucked into the neck and my bare bottom scarlet with legs spread as far apart as they would go showing everythinggggggg to the four of them as he just left me and went back to the poker table.

I could see the colors of my white legs and scarlet bottom looked brilliant against the dark brown leather of the armchair . .

I felt mortified! It was humiliating!! It was worse than the pain of the spanking!!! I could almost see my rosebud and pussy in the mirror My private parts were totally exposed to three strange men and to Uncle Penty too . . .

The four men settled again into their poker game -though I could see in the mirror they often glanced at the spectacle presented to them by my naked and punished bottom spread as wide as my legs would go and their glances were . . . lingering and unhurried.

Then Dr. Cooper said quietly:

"My game!!" and walked over to me rolling up the sleeve on his right arm as he came

My tears had dried and the pain had died away a bit. Dr. Cooper said:

"Joanie, you have asked for a penance -and I am going to do my best to oblige you!"

He turned the sand timer then grabbed the old riding crop from the table and SWISSSSSSHED it a few times in the air above my bare bottom then brought it down - CRAKKKKKKKKK!!! and I YELLLLLLLED!!!

But he had only hit it on the leather of the padded arm chair . . .

Then I saw him put the riding crop back on the table and lift the bedroom slipper instead and he hit the soft leather sole against the back of the leather chair hard -

SMAKKKKKK!! with a frightening noise like a gun-shot . . .

then nod with satisfaction . . . that it would hurt me enough . . .and he began to spank me with the leather sole of the bedroom slipper.

Dr. Cooper beat me lightly and much faster than Uncle Penty had done and the leather sole pattered all over the cheeks of my round bottom light and quick and it felt almost a pleasant tickle for the first little bit . . .

But very soon the pain started to make itself felt as the continual pattering rain of spanks from the soft leather sank into my bottom - and the pain built up . . . more and more

He stopped every now and again and hit the slipper - hard -on the padded leather back of the armchair

SMAKKKKK! with a terrifying noise like a gun shot -and it was with one of these that I could hold it no longer: I burst out into racking, heaving sobs of pain and misery as the tears poured down my face . . . And he went back to his pattering rain of light spanks on my bottom . . .

Dr. Cooper knew well what he was doing -Long before his five minutes were finished the pain from his spanking with the soft leather sole of the bedroom slipper had mounted to a blazing burn of agony deep down into the firm round flesh of my buttocks.

I was weeping and sobbing with the torture and praying for the end -though this pain was the very thing I knew I needed to make a full atonement . . .

At last Dr. Cooper ended his penance for me then he rubbed my blazing bottom gently for a long time and kneaded it tenderly "to spread the pain more" he said but I think he really wanted to soothe it a little . . .

Then he went back to the poker table leaving me feeling as though my whole bottom was ablaze and I was racked with sobs . . .

Their next poker game began and went on a long time.

It was almost a relief when I heard Sir John say:

"I win!" and came walking over to me . . .

More Penances For Joan

From the implements on the table beside me Sir John selected the ping-pong bat.

He just said:

"May this penance bring some ease to your mind, my dear Joan!"

He turned the sand timer then hit the back of the padded leather armchair hard with the ping-pong bat making a horrendous BAMMMMMMMMMM!!!

With the next stroke he brought it down on my bottom and I could see in the mirror -he completely flattened my firm round cheeks and it was agonizing . . .

Sir John beat my bottom again and again with the ping-pong bat and every time he hit the back of the leather armchair with the bat BAMMMMMMMMMMM!!! several times before each spank of my bottom with the ping-pong bat so I didn't know when it was coming . . .

The noise when the bat hit the leather armchair terrified me and each spank with the ping-pong bat on my soft round bottom was A-G-G-G-G-O-N-N-N-N-Y-Y-Y-Y!!!!

and I watched between the tears that flooded from my eyes as first one soft round tender cheek was flattened and bounced back and then the other and again and again and Hell itself couldn't hurt more . . .

Darling dear Mama - I thought - I am doing this for you!! And I deeply deserve it . . .

Sir John's last blow on my bruised and battered bottom was even harder that all the others and I shouted out:

"Ohhhhh! Mamaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!"

And at last Sir John had finished -I lay there over the padded back of the leather armchair sobbing and stunned while Sir John's hand gently soothed my burning bottom until my sobs quietened and my breathing eased a bit . . .

then he returned to the card table and the four men went on with their poker game . . .

It seemed to take longer this round of poker and I was lying there sore and aching . . . when Uncle Penty said:

"My game again! Sorry my dear Abbot!!"

"You know, I would like it to be a bit warmer in here! The fire is set and I'll just put a match to it . . ."

Then as he came over to me he said:

"I am going to change you to be standing up, Joanie love."

and he undid the wrist-thongs at the front legs of the chair and helped me to stand upright but still with my legs spread wide

then he tied my wrist-thongs to a wooden bar that he'd put in to run across the room above my head and tucked the back of my dress firmly in again at the neck

My sore red bare bottom was again plainly visible for all to see framed by my hair tied back in a bow and tucked-up dress above and my shiny black shoes and calf-length white socks below . . .

Uncle Penty moved the mirrors too so I could see my own back again and everything going on behind me in my new position . . .

"There! I want your bottom full and round and soft for this penance, Joanie love. You are to relax your muscles there . . ."

and his hand squished first one cheek then the other . . .

"It is not a punishment you are going to enjoy, I promise you, Joanie, because that's not the way for you to atone this evening. 'Spare the rod and spoil the child!'."

He turned the five-minute sand timer and lifted the lighter one of the leather belts -

I heard it whistle through he air around his head for a long time before Penty brought it down . . .

It cut into my soft round bottom and I could see in the mirror that the leather bit deep into my full round cheeks . . .

The pain was terrible and I yelled out . . . AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

and Uncle Penty let his hand drop to his side -

He was going to stop!!!!

I was very tempted . . . but after a moment I turned my head and nodded hard for Uncle Penty to keep on with beating me for my expiation . . .

I shouted in pain with each cut of the narrow leather into the soft young flesh of my lovely round bottom -and the pain of each stroke was excruciating . . .

Whissssstle - CRACKKKK!!! . . . AAAAAAHHHHHH!!

Whisssssssssstle - CRACKKKK!!! . . . AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!

Whissssstle - CRACKKKK!!! . . . AAAAAAHHHHHH!!

Whisssssssssssssstle - CRACKKKK!!! . . . AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!

. . . on and on and on . . .

until Uncle Penty at last ended his terrible beating with the belt and I was left sobbing:

"Ohhh! Mamaaaa!! Ohhh! Mamaaaaaaa!! . . ."

I was becoming too wracked with pain to focus on much else but I vaguely knew the four men were again playing a round of poker then it was Mr. Brown who said:

"My game!"

Then Uncle Penty:

"We don't need the electric lights so much now the fire is going -I'll turn them down a bit . . ."

And the dining room became mostly lit by the flickering flames of the fire . . .

As Mr. Brown came close:

"Joan my dear, to fully expiate the wrongs you have done you must feel a willow cane that has been soaking in water cut deep into your lovely soft twelve-year-old bottom . ."

"Don't forget: I will stop the minute you say - if you want me to -but I think I know just how hard you can bear me to use a wet willow cane . . . so now!!"

And he turned the sand timer then took a willow cane from the glass jar where they were standing soaking in water and water drops flew all over the place as waved it in the air with a long frightening SWIS-S-S-S-S-S-H before he brought it down hard . . . CRAKKKKKK!!!

I jumped and almost yelled . . . until I realized it was not me the blow had landed on . . . it had cut into the padded back of the armchair instead of me!!!

He'd done the same thing as Dr. Cooper and Sir John . . . just to frighten me!

Well, he succeeded!!!! I was shaking uncontrollably in fear and trembling at the excruciating cut I was to get as Mr. Brown swished the willow cane around his head again for a long time then brought it down . . . CRAKKKKKK!!! on my soft round bottom . . . and I . . . YELLLLLLLLLED!!! part in terror and part from the awful pain of it . .

And that first cut with the wet willow cane hurt even more than the leather belt.

Even as I felt the agony of that cut into my poor bottom, I saw in the reflection that the cane had buried itself deep into the roundness of my soft cheeks . . .

Then he raised the cane again - and the flickering light from the fire made it even more scary -another long frightening SWIS-S-S-S-S-SH before he brought it down . . . CRAKKKKKK!!! on the padded leather back of the armchair again . . .

I couldn't stop from shaking as Mr. Brown raised the willow cane again and it went SWIS-S-S-S-S-S-SH around his head then brought it down . . . . CRAKKKKKK!!! to cut again into my soft round bottom . . . and I YELLLLLLED!!!! in shock at the fearful sight and the terrible pain from the whippy wet willow wand . . .

Mr. Brown went on like this often slamming the willow wand . . . CRAKKKKKK!!! into the soft leather padding of the armchair which terrified me beyond belief!!!

and then bringing the wet whippy willow wand down . . . CRAKKKKKK!!! onto my poor soft twelve-year-old girl's bottom - and I YELLLLLED!!! in terror and pain . . .

Mr. Brown laid the cuts all on different places across my bottom - I could see in the mirror -so none of them overlapped or crossed

and he left long intervals between each one while he made the cane SWIS-S-S-S-S-S-H through the air in that terrifying way and hit it on the padded leather of the armchair . . . CRAKKKKKKKK!!! before he gave me another searing slash across my burning bottom.

By the end of his five minutes Mr. Brown had added terribly to the pain I'd had from the previous punishments to my poor soft young bottom . . .

I knew the Abbot was really being kind and could have almost killed me with that wet willow cane and I was deeply thankful he hadn't . . .

But I was sobbing in pain as he finished his penance for me and gently soothed the burning curves of my soft bottom with a tender caressing hand

Then he completely surprised me - in the nicest possible way -and the others three as well I think -he kneeled on the floor behind me and slowly, deeply kissed first one cheek of my poor striped bottom and then the other, saying:

"KIS-S-S-S-S-S . . . Please forgive me, my dear Joan!"

"KIS-S-S-S-S-S . . . Please forgive me, my dear Joan!"

but as he pressed his face deep first into one cheek and then into the other I felt the most awful sharp pains like needles as his jabby beard prickled and stung my tender cheeks . . .

Then he stood up again and went back to the poker table leaving me to bear my agony and soreness and the humiliation of the wanton exhibition I was providing as best I could miserably on my own . . . in the flickering light of the fire.

The next round of poker came to an end and I was surprised to hear Mr. Brown say:

"And my game again!"

"Pent, can you change Joan's hands around so she faces us, please? Have to undo her feet too, of course and no need to re-tie them . . . Just have her held in place by her wrists: quite enough. Don't think she's going to go anywhere!!"

And Uncle Penty untied my ankles and my wrists and turned me to face the poker table with my wrists tied again above my head.

Then, he took off the white bow holding my hair neatly in place and he removed my shiny black shoes and the white socks which had been up until then the sole garments below my waist and must have looked oddly school-girlish to my tormentors! and I now stood barefoot on the Turkish carpet . . .

"Thank you, Pent! Now we can lift Joan's dress right up slide it up her arms and hang it over the bar above . . . And take off her little bra too!!"

I was standing now completely naked and facing the poker table without a single stitch of clothing . . .

I hated anyone to look at the tiny mounds on my chest let alone three completely strange men and Uncle Penty and it was so much worse with my little pussy on display too - naked, with none of the soft hair that would grow later -while I was standing tied up like a plucked chicken hanging in a butcher shop . . .

My face blushed crimson again and the agony felt worse than the beatings I'd had . . .

The firelight was soft and flickering but I writhed and squirmed even so: there was nowhere to hide my shame and embarrassment.

Mr. Brown seemed almost not to notice though and turned over the timer then picked up the long decorator's wooden ruler: it must have been all of three feet!

"Joan, remember: This is for your own good!!!"

He stood at one side of me and waved the long wooden ruler around in the air making a fearsome noise then brought it down across my chest with a sharp . . . SLAPPPP! right across my little titties!!!

The sharp pain brought tears gushing from my eyes - I couldn't have stopped them if I'd wanted -the pain cut right into my little breasts starting to sprout there...

Mr. Brown waited a long time - - - - - - - - - - - - - -then waved the long wooden ruler around in the air again to make the same fearsome noise then brought it down again across my chest with a sharp SLAPPPP! just below my little titties!!!

Then did it again the fierce noise that made me cringe in fear then - SLAPPPP! across the top of my breasts and giving me agonizing pains in my little boobies . . .

I thought I would die the pain was so sharp as it cut deep into me!!

Never ever had I been hurt in this way before and it was agony.

Only telling myself that I truly wanted to atone enabled me to go on with the awful stabbing pain in my little boobies.

By the time Mr. Brown had finished his five minutes I was feeling horribly nauseous and ill with the pain and crying uncontrollably . . . and he reached over and oh-so-gently massaged my little boobies

I was torn between outrage at what he was doing and gratitude for the small relief he was giving to my agony and my face must have shown my blushing weeping confusion . .

Mr. Brown again knelt, this time in front of me and I thought he was going to kiss me down there . . . but the dear Abbot just bowed his head and said:

"Please forgive me, my dear Joan!"

But I couldn't answer at all - for sobbing: I just nodded to him . . .

At last though Mr. Brown went back to the card table and I had to watch them through my tears, feeling sore all over, as the four men settled down again to play another round of poker.

I could not look away from a mirror: they played poker right in front of me to decide who was to torture me next and staring from time to time straight at my red-striped boobies . . .

It was Sir John who cried out:

"My turn!!" (and it sounded almost enthusiastic?!)

He came over and stood in front of me for a long time just looking me - all over by the strong flickering light of the fire from the top of my head and down my body sloooooowly past my pussy down my legs and right on down to my feet.

I knew this didn't count as part of his five minutes.

It was free time he was taking to humiliate and embarrass me and it was agony to bear -I hated it!!!!

At last he said:

"I like that ruler -But I am going to use it a bit differently on you To help you to atone, my dear Joan!!!"

And after turning the egg timer he whirled the long wood ruler around even more menacingly than Mr. Brown had done then brought it down across the middle of my tummy . . . SLAPPPPPPPPP!!!

It was a total surprise to me!! and I . . . . . . . . YELLLLLLLLLED!!! at the new pain.

Then he whirled the long wood ruler around again and brought it down across the tops of my legs . . . SLAPPPPPPPPP!!! and I . . . . . SCREAMMMMMMMMMMMED!!!

My bottom was pressed against the back of the heavy leather arm chair so I had to just stand there while the long ruler went . . . SLAPPPPPPPPP!!! again and again and again . . . against the front of my thighs and against my tummy and it STIIIIIIINGED and HURRRRRTED most awfully . . . and every time he did it, I . . . . . SCREAMMMMMMMMMMMED!!!

I'd never even heard of anyone being beaten in this way! It seemed barbarous and cruel and uncivilized to beat a twelve-year-old girl on her legs and tummy like this!!

And it hurt most awfully . . .

I cried out with each blow on those most sensitive places and just shut my eyes and yelled and screamed and wept with the pain . . .

I thought Sir John was enjoying what he was doing to me which made it an even worse punishment for me . . .

Then Sir John's time came to an end at last and he did the same as the others -he gently rubbed where he had beaten me - "to soothe it" . . .

His hand slowly fondled my sore sore tummy then slid down to caress the tops of my legs brushing all the time against my pussy . . .

I almost shouted out in protest but knew that would end all further penance and I would still have no relief from my burden -so I gritted my teeth and endured this penance too . . . until Sir John had finished tormenting me and he returned to the card table . . .

And the poker game went on while I was sore and bruised all down my front from my titties down to my tummy and the front of my thighs.

Dr. Cooper won the next round of poker and I heard his:

"My turn again!!" (he had spanked my bottom hard with the bedroom slipper last time, I remembered!)

Joanie's Full Atonement: Conclusion

Dr. Cooper walked over to where I was standing with my sore bottom pressed against the heavy leather arm chair and my wrists tied to the wooden bar above my head saying:

"Joan, there's a part of you we have not punished yet! It will hurt you most awfully and greatly help you to expiate the terrible wrongs you have done!!!"

Dr. Cooper turned the five-minute egg timer and picked up the lash by its handle and dangled the long strips of soft black leather at its end, dangled them in front of my eyes to show them to me . . . and purposely frighten me -I just glanced at them and shivered

"Joan, I want you to kiss the leather that is going to help you to atone for your wrong-doings."

I didn't want to see those long strips of soft black leather! I closed my eyes tight, but I kissed the black strips that Dr. Cooper held to my lips for so long, and you could tell they were the skin of an animal from the smell of them.

The I waited for the tearing pain across my shoulders just like I'd seen the sailor flogged in 'Mutiny on the Bounty' with bloody stripes all across his back . . .

Dr. Cooper swished the lash around in the air and I could feel the draft each time it passed near me -and I shuddered in terror and braced myself rigid ready to pay my penance . . .

CRAKKKKKKKKK!!!!

The leather strips bit into my back with a searing shock . . .

I gasped in pain and gritted my teeth for the next stroke of the lash . . .

Dr. Cooper spent a long time swishing around with the lash . . . I felt the draft on my shoulders and it terrified me!!!!

Then it came down again hard

CRAKKKKKKKKK!!!! on my back and I let out a piercing . . . YELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!

"Ohhhh! Mamaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! and sobs racked me . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ."

My head was buzzing . . . . Then I took a deep breath . . . and I shouted - but all that came out was a hoarse croak:

"More!!!!! Give me more!!!!"

Dr. Cooper swissssssshed the lash around me again and CRAKKKKKKKKK!!!! the leather strips cut into my back . . . Swisssssshed it around and CRAKKKKKKKKK!!!! the leather strips of the lash came down on my tender twelve-year-old back again, and CRAKKKKKKKKK!!!! again, and CRAKKKKKKKKK!!!! again . . . and I SCRE-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-A-MED!!!! with each blow until the lashing at last ended . . .

No soothing caress this time!

Just me on my own sobbing and contrite my back - and all the rest of me - in pain and agony weeping and broken . . .

And the men went back to their poker game to decide who was to punish me next while I slowly eased my sobbing and finally quieted as I stood stark naked with my hands tied to the wooden rod above my head as I looked at my reflection in the big mirror by the firelight my body aching and hurting most painfully - everywhere . . .

There seemed no part of me they had left unbruised

as I looked at the four men playing poker - and watching me.

The poker game seemed to go on and on until at last:

"My game! from Uncle Penty, and he came to me."

"This is to be your final penance, Joanie my dear."

"After this dreadful punishment that you are going to suffer now you will finally have atoned for all wrongs you may ever have done and you will be able to live with a clear conscience carefree and joyful knowing you have made full and complete restitution to everyone who ever lived in the world . . ."

"Abbot, you are the expert at this penance -can you make the arrangements that we talked about for the taste of night air . . ."

"Yes indeed, Pent! Will you first untie Joan's left wrist . . ."

"We are ready now, Dr. Cooper -Please fasten your temperature probe . . ."

and Dr. Cooper came and slid something in under my left armpit saying:

"I want you to hold this temperature thing in your armpit, Joan, and I am tying a bandage round you to hold that arm to your side -It will tell me your body heat . . ."

"Sir John, would you please tie one end of that length of rope to Joan's left ankle just tight enough so it can not pull off . . ."

"Now help support her with me while Pent undoes her right wrist . . . . . . ."

"Dr. Cooper, will you please open those curtains for the French windows to the balcony and put the wooden board for Joan to stand on out there on the balcony."

"And Pent, please switch off all the lights in here . . ."

"And the snow has stopped -It is a clear cold moonlight night."

"Now Joan my dear I want you to walk out with us onto the balcony and stand on the piece of wood that Dr. Cooper has laid there for you so your feet don't freeze . . ."

"Walk slowly now, Joan -so you do not trip in the dark -and you are in no condition to hurry!!"

"Onto the board - so - and I tie the rope so you can not slide off this slippery balcony . . ."

"Now, we are going back into the warm room while we leave you out here, Joan my dear!"

"The icy night air will quickly numb the pains in your bruised and aching body and you will soon be able to feel nothing!"

"I want you to think about all the wrongs you have done to others -everything you are atoning for tonight -and ask those people to forgive you . . ."

"Pax vobiscum, may peace be with you, my child!"

And I felt his prickly beard on my forehead as he held me by my shoulders and kissed me there . . .

And they went back into their warm room closing the French windows, shutting me out in icy night air . . . .

They had left me standing on a board in the snow on the second-floor balcony with the icy breeze playing around my bare aching body as I looked down on the lighted town street at the end of the short drive with people bustling back and forth.

Did any of them notice me I wondered standing up there stark naked on the icy cold balcony in bright moonlight?

I was already too cold to shiver as I stared up at the bright silvery shining moon and shouted at the top of my croaking voice:

"Dear Mamaaaaa! I love you so much!! Pleeease pleeeeeeeeeease forgive me!!! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease Mamaaaaaaaaaa!!!"

Tears started to run from my eyes -they froze on my cheek

I no longer felt any pains from my beaten and battered body and cold numbness traveled slowly up my arms and legs then the icy deadness penetrated my body until I could feel nothing even when I tried dragging my fingernails across my tummy . . .

Then I knew no more . . .

I must have fainted from the icy coldness because the next thing I remember I was held standing between Uncle Pent in front of me and someone behind as I stood sandwiched between them in the dining room in front of the blazing fire . . .

Uncle Penty and the other man had bath robes on which they held around to help warm me . . .

As I slowly started to feel things again . . . I realized that both men were as naked as me, and I felt their bare hairy flesh rubbing against me and warming me as I stood sandwiched between them in front of the fire standing up on a low stool . . .

I could dimly see Dr. Cooper by the poker table packing away something with a dial on it into a black bag.

On the table beside him was one of Penty's balloon glasses that he uses to serve vintage cognac and heavy smoke wove its way towards the ceiling from one of Penty's after-dinner cigars.

The whole room now smelled wonderfully of cognac and cigars . . . which they must have been enjoying while I was slowly freezing on the balcony -which all added to my sense of having paid penance . . .

Faintly in flickering firelight I saw the Abbot facing us with his hand raised chanting quietly in a strange language . . . Then he folded his hands under his chin and lowered his head over them.

Like the picture in "Penances for a Nun" of the ice-cold nun carried in and standing between two others in front of the fire!!!!

Almost in a dream I remembered . . .

Penty had said -

"Abbot, you are the expert at this penance, can you make the arrangements"

The ice-cold-air penance must still be used today for monks and nuns, eight hundred years after that book was written, and maybe went back older than that . . .

Maybe I was a little light-headed . . . I couldn't laugh - I hadn't the strength -but I felt it was awesome and somehow very funny that me at twelve years old, had done a penance that had been used with monks and nuns for more than eight hundred years and who knows how much longer before that!!

The warmth of Penty and Sir John slowly penetrated my body until I began again to feel the pain of the beatings that I had been given as penances for all I had done wrong . . .

The pressure of the two rough hairy bodies pressed and rubbing rhythmically against my tender skin and the weals from my punishments hurt dreadfully as warmth continued to return the feeling to my body and limbs . . .

Standing there clamped between the two naked men I slowly realized too, why I was standing on the low stool:

I began to feel Uncle Penty's big stiff thing: it was slowly sliding in and out between my legs and I was at exactly the height for it to rub hard up against me under there as it slid in and out . . .

and I felt his hairs rubbing roughly against my tender little pussy each time he pressed against me and swayed gently from side to side . . .

His stiff thing went rhythmically -in - side to side - and out in - side to side - and out in - side to side - and out in - side to side - and out . . .

I saw the man behind was Sir John who was taller and his stiff thing was bent down at an angle into the groove between the sore sore cheeks of my bottom

As he moved back and fore his stiff thing slid up and down up and down up and down, and each time it went down the very end slid across my rosebud . . .

They must both have put something slippery on themselves I thought vaguely -because they both slid in and out between my legs so smooooothly!

Then Penty started talking:

- Joanie my love . . You have made your full penance . . You have expiated all the wrongs you have ever done . . You have atoned now . . . for everything . . And we all of us admire and love you very dearly . . . . .

He was holding me by the waist as he moved and Sir John was holding my shoulders as he stood behind me sliding his stiff thing up and down in the groove of my bottom

I reached my arms around Uncle Penty's muscular waist and helped his movements as he swayed to and from me and side to side against my pussy . . .

I had little notion back then aged twelve exactly what was happening -I had once glimpsed a picture of a naked man with an erection but had no idea then about what it did or how -

I was only conscious that night as my body slowly warmed sandwiched between Uncle Penty and Sir John, of a thrilling feeling of deep and wonderful excitement rising within me, excitement of a kind I had before only had a faint premonition . . .

I felt Sir John behind me sliding his stiff thing more quickly up and down in the groove between the cheeks of my firm round bottom and the end rubbed harder and harder against my rosebud . . .

First Uncle Penty press his thing in between my legs then Sir John pressed his into the groove between my cheeks, Then from the front then from the back again . . .

And the pressure against my painful weals from the beatings only made my strange and wonderful excitement even greater . . .

These heavenly sensations started to take over and control me more and more until I was jerking myself ecstatically against dear Penty and rubbing my pussy from side to side wildly against him . . .

then I felt suddenly warm and slippery down there - I felt sure something liquid had come out of me -and I seemed to leave my body and soar in ecstasy away up into another world . . . . . . . .

I was blissfully beyond caring about what exactly had happened standing limp and exhausted clamped firmly between the two naked men as I just sank my head into Penty's dear chest and closed my eyes . . . feeling as though I was in Heaven itself, mumbling:

"Oh! Penty! Sweet Penty! Dear Penty! Wonderful Penty! I do love you, Penty! Oh!!"

After what seemed ages of dreamy bliss while time stood still - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Penty took a cloth from the pocket of his bath robe and reached down and quickly wiped me clean between my legs, then he lifted me naked in his arms threw the corner of his robe over me carried me up the stairs - - -and laid me gently in my bed, pulling the warm covers carefully over my aching body . . .

My last memory of that night of penance was Penty's lips at my ear as he whispered:

"We helped you to atone, just as you wanted, Joanie my love. Then we showed you that we have always loved you by joining in a truly loving communion together with you."

"Sleep very well my darling Joanie - and waken to enjoy your birthday like you have never enjoyed a birthday before!"

When I woke up early with the sun pouring through my window, I went straight into my bathroom and into a warm tub to remove all my sweat and grime from last night . . .

except I couldn't of course remove the black and purple marks left by the paddle and belt and ruler and willow cane and lash all over my back and legs and chest and tummy and firm round bottom...

Those bruises made me feel sore and stiff for several days to come, reminding me of the penances I had made that night and the atonement I had given for all I had done wrong in the past . . .

How wonderful it was of Penty and his friends to rid me of those awful feelings about being naughty, wayward, bad . . . and absolutely worthless!

And if those feelings ever come back, Penty says, his friends have offered to come again and help me in the same way -

They are such wonderful friends that Penty has!!

The girls I had invited for my birthday-party came that afternoon and I wore a long dress with a sailor-collar neck and a full skirt and petticoats down to almost sweep the floor so no bruise or marks of any kind could be seen on me and a conjurer came who really did make a rabbit come out of his hat!

I felt happy and so free of all care that it almost hurt . . .

After I had kissed all my dear friends "Goodbye!" and they had finally gone, I threw myself on Penty's lap as he sat in the padded leather armchair and hugged him tight:

"Dear darling Penty! What a wise and loving uncle you are!! And what wonderful friends you have to come and help me in the way they did!!!"

"I look at the painting of dear Mama now and feel free at last to love her as her own dear daughter . . ."

"I love her very dearly, Penty, and I feel she loves me too, now -and I am dreadfully happy!!!"

"OWWWWW!!!!! Not so hard, Penty!! Just squeeze me very gently please - - -for the next day or two anyhow!"

"Let me just cuddle into you, Penty my dearest uncle . . ."

Something had "clicked": There was no more talk by teachers at school after this Christmas break when I became twelve about ADHD (whatever that is!) and "Ritalin would help you to concentrate"

I suddenly found school work exciting and I could do it easily . . . I was soon amongst the top few in my class -and my school work never looked back again . . .

For years after that night I felt as though I was living on the crest of a wave as I enjoyed my friends and my work like never before . . .

As I look back on that whole evening of terrible pain when I did my penance I see how wisely and skillfully Penty and his three friends relieved me of the leaden feeling of guilt that had weighed on me for so many years by helping me to atone . . .

I sometimes wonder what sort of miserable life I would have spent on doctors' drugs and in and out of the offices of counselors and psychologists if Penty and his wonderful friends had not understood enough or been kind enough or brave enough to give me that cathartic night of atonement . . .

After I graduated from college and found a job then moved into my first apartment Uncle Penty made me a present of a padded leather armchair with some thongs of soft leather and of a copy of "Penances for a Nun" . . .

If ever those feelings of guilt seem in danger of returning now -I find one of my dear friends who is wise and loving enough to give me penances like the ones inflicted on me that night -using my padded leather armchair, the thongs for my wrists and ankles, and "Penances for a Nun" as his manual . . .

And it always ends in the same way: He pronounces me now fully atoned while exciting me more and more with his stiff member until I am jerking against him in uncontrollable ecstasy then collapse in his arms while he lovingly holds my battered and bruised body . . .

And I awake with him next morning, still aching, but feeling as free as a lark and ready to sing!!! As the years have passed, I find myself more and more comfortable with the events of the past, so I am no longer deeply troubled by them . . .

But I am always ready and willing to undergo a session of penance and I really do enjoy atoning . . .

Colophon By Uncle Penty

My dearest Joanie,

Up until the time of your twelfth birthday, you had been a quiet, withdrawn and exceedingly well-behaved young girl, carefully following whatever instructions you were given about your manners. Neither I nor your school-teachers ever had reason to punish you for bad behaviour.

Following your atonement though, as you describe in your story:

For years after that night I felt as though I was living on the crest of a wave as I enjoyed my friends and my work like never before . . .

Another way to put this would be to say you became a free spirit uninhibited in your sense of fun unpredictable in your behaviour unruly and obstreperous and often totally ignoring the guidance of your elders and betters...

These changes caused you, dear Joanie, to undergo many and frequent atonements for behaviour that was sometimes quite outrageous and led you to be subjected to the most severe penances . . .

Later, I may try to recall some of those occasions to your memory so you understand the extraordinary changes that occurred in your personality following your first great atonement.

I administered many of these penances myself reluctantly and purely for your own good, of course and much though I disliked causing you pain in any way . . .

Sometimes though, I called on Dr. Cooper or Sir John or even the Abbot himself to assist me inflict these painful and violent penances on your lovely young body solely out of our sense of duty and for your own good as I plan to recount anon . . .

Until then, dearest Joanie,

I remain your ever loving Uncle Penty X X X X