--4:06--

EINSTEIN: Hey, kids! What time is it? (sounder: "It's Einstein time!") That's right! And boy that last hour was just.....it's a good thing I sit behind the board. Otherwise, I'd have a hard time hiding a boner. Ariel Winter from Modern Family is coming in any second now. She's in the latest issue of Playdate magazine.

STACI DYLAN aka DYLAN: You had a hard time hiding a boner?

JAY HART: Damn! I was quite tempted to release my boner.

EINSTEIN: Wait, you were going to show us your pecker?

JAY: I guess that's not a good idea.

CHRIS COOPER: Nah, not really. At least not with us here. Now if you were alone with the girls and their mothers......that'd be another story.

EINSTEIN: Yeah, in case you missed it, we had four girls in here for a spelling bee. Two of them were like ten years old. One was twelve. And the winner was fourteen. And during the break we took pictures. But that girl Katherine stripped and posed naked with the other girls and with us. Especially Dylan.

DYLAN: I actually got my hands on those tits. Oh...my....fucking God.....what a pair it is.

EINSTEIN: Oh yeah, Katherine's tits?

DYLAN: Fuck yeah. I mean they weren't the biggest. But they were quite adequate and I loved her nipples. And surely you noticed they all had nice asses. And if we weren't so busy, I'd have loved to play with them.

EINSTEIN: Wow! Really?!

DYLAN: Oh, don't try and tell me you wouldn't do it!

EINSTEIN: Of course, I'm not going to tell you. Especially after about hiding the boner.

DYLAN: Were you secretly playing with the boner?

EINSTEIN: Maybe I was.

DYLAN: Dammit! I knew it! I knew you were playing!

EINSTEIN: Weren't you holding back excitement from seeing so much pussy?

DYLAN: Well, of course! I'm just glad I was able to relieve the tension by feeling up Katherine. Looks like she's got a delectable little pussy with a little brown bush.

EINSTEIN: Hopefully, she won't shave it.

DYLAN: Oh yeah, please don't shave it. Gives a woman some character.

EINSTEIN: Character.

DYLAN: Sure as fuck beats having a bare pussy all the time.

EINSTEIN: Well, I love bare pussies like I like bushy pussies.

DYLAN: Okay.....I see your point.

VICKI HUBERT: Are you two done bickering?

DYLAN: Yeah!

VICKI: Oh good!

EINSTEIN: Mikey D, has Ariel arrived yet?

MIKE DANIELS aka MIKEY D: Not yet, boss. But her people tell me she's on her way.

EINSTEIN: Well, last hour I felt I was out on the edge of sanity. Out on "The Edge of Glory". It's Lady Gaga on "The Einstein Show".

("The Edge of Glory" plays)

EINSTEIN: Lady Gaga on "The Einstein Show". Mikey D. just told me off-air that Ariel is in the building and is on her way up here. So we're going to take a break and get her set up. In the meantime, you can call in and participate with us. The number is 1-855-EINSTEIN. 1-855-346-7834. We'll be back with Ariel Winter of Modern Family after this. It's "The Einstein Show".

--4:18--

EINSTEIN: So Ariel's coming in a moment. She's played Alex Dunphy for the last four years on ABC Television's Modern Family and she's the latest celebrity to pose nude for Playdate. Here she is! Ariel Winter!

Canned fanfare and applause as Ariel enters the studio. The brown eyed redhead sports a pink sleeveless top with a couple of buttons open and tied above her belly button.

She's also wearing very short denim shorts with frilly lace on the legs

EINSTEIN: Damn, Ariel! Forget just plain hot. You are definitely smokin' today.

ARIEL WINTER: Thank you, Einstein. May I say what a great pleasure to finally meet you.

EINSTEIN: Well, thank you, darlin'.

ARIEL: I'm a really big fan of the show. Jay and Chris always crack me up. You've got the best radio staff I've worked with, period.

EINSTEIN: Well, thank you from me and the rest of the crew. Now can I explain to everyone just how hot she is. If you can't see it on the internet....first off, Ariel is a pretty good height for fifteen years old. You're how tall now?

ARIEL: Five-foot-four.

EINSTEIN: And it's like she not even 110 pounds. She's got a pink blouse with no sleeves that's open almost to her tits. And it's tied up above the navel. And she's got the shortest short shorts I've ever seen. And actually she's got some like boyshort panties that are hangin' out.

ARIEL: Yep!

EINSTEIN: So, the big news in your life besides doing the Playdate spread is that you basically said you cut yourself off from your mother, Chrystal.

ARIEL: Well, my fake mom was subjecting me to all sorts of emotional abuse and shit. And I wasn't going to put up with it. So, my older sister, Shanelle, who I refer to as my mister, takes care of me.

EINSTEIN: Now you said that your sister is your mister.

ARIEL: Right. I mentioned on Twitter that a mister is a mother and a sister at the same time to me. Shanelle's been my defacto mom for a year while I've been battling Chrystal.

EINSTEIN: Now TMZ says or claims that you said your real mom is dead to you.

ARIEL: I don't know if I'd go that far. But my mom gave me a lot of shit, and I got sick and fucking tired of it. I told her I wanted the fuck out, and I got out.

EINSTEIN: Any chance that you and Chrystal can make amends?

ARIEL: We'll see. But I know that's not why you wanted to see me.

EINSTEIN: Of course not. I wanted to see you because....can you get this on the camera? It's the latest issue of Playdate magazine with Ariel Winter on the cover, looking quite fantastic relaxing in lacy underwear and her arms covering her tits.

ARIEL: I know, it's one of those things. I'd rather have done a full nude cover, but their distributors frown upon it.

EINSTEIN: I open it up and holy shit! How did you get to be so fucking blessed with a bangin' body like that?

ARIEL: I guess it's good genes. That and, of course, I take good care of myself. I have to with my working schedule. It would look quite weird if one week I was skinny like this, and the next I was like an elephant.

EINSTEIN: Well, yeah, that's what they said about me. So I can't go ape shit crazy either.

ARIEL: I see! So there you go.

EINSTEIN: We're going to have more with Ariel Winter from Modern Family in just a bit. But I'm wondering if I found a prophetic song. From Taylor Swift, "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" on "The Einstein Show".

("We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" plays)

EINSTEIN: We are never ever getting back together, and Ariel Winter is in the studio. She's the celebrity pictorial in this month's Playdate magazine. Can I ask how hard it is to do one of these nude shoots?

ARIEL: I didn't worry about it because....well, look at me....and look at the pictures.

EINSTEIN: Fucking gorgeous!

ARIEL: Fucking right! So, no, it really wasn't that hard for me. I wanted to do more than they did.

EINSTEIN: Oh, what else?

ARIEL: Well, you know that the Playdate of the Month usually either pees or has relations with somebody else.

EINSTEIN: You'd have done that, too?

ARIEL: Sure!

EINSTEIN: Even another girl?

ARIEL: Sure! Why not?! I mean I work with a gay guy.

EINSTEIN: That would be Jesse Tyler Ferguson.

ARIEL: Right....so...

DYLAN: Well, now you've got my attention.

EINSTEIN: Oh shit! And I'm up against a break. Come back after a break for news and find out if these two do anything. Ariel Winter on "The Einstein Show".

--4:34--

EINSTEIN: Well, I know you were getting caught up on the news. Storms have been bad in the South in the last week. And I understand there was another bad one today. Our thoughts and hearts go out to the ravaged areas of the country. In here, we have Ariel Winter of ABC's Modern Family where she plays nerdy daughter, Alex Dunphy. But I tell you what, she's not a fucking nerd today. She's absolute dynamite! Like I said earlier, she's got this shirt that's open down to her breasts and tied up abover her belly button.

DYLAN: Did I mention how perfect her belly button is?

EINSTEIN: And Dylan is sitting next to Ariel, trying to contain herself. Good fucking luck, Dylan. Anyway, Ariel's in this month edition of Playdate magazine, the June, 0013 issue. I guess, technically, that's next month. But we all know they come out a month ahead of time. Anyway, there's a part of the pictorial where she's naked outside. Where the hell were you?

ARIEL: Well, we went on top of a parking garage. I guess that's what you're looking at?

EINSTEIN: Yeah.

ARIEL: Yeah, well, it's right near their building. You know they have that big ass skyscraper in Chicago. And there's a ten story parking garage across the street from it. And that's where we went to do some pictures and stuff.

EINSTEIN: Yeah, I wonder how many looked out the window and thought 'Hey, that looks like that teenage chick in Modern Family! What the fuck is she doing?'

ARIEL: I know, and it'd be like 'Holy fuck, she's getting naked!'

EINSTEIN: (giggles) 'Damn! Hey, Ted, come check out this naked chick!'.

ARIEL: I can just imagine it could have been like that.

EINSTEIN: And I'll bet Ted would have jacked off, too. Now, Dylan's sitting on the big couch next to Ariel, either with her hand going through Ariel's hair or sitting on Ariel's right shoulder. Dylan, is she turning you on?

DYLAN: Oh, hell yeah!

ARIEL: I like how she feels.

EINSTEIN: Oh really?

JAY: Holy shit! Hey, Einstein, how about if Ariel touches Dylan's boobs?

EINSTEIN: Touch Dylan's boobs?

JAY: Yeah!

EINSTEIN: I'm sure Ariel wouldn't have a problem. I'm thinking Dylan wouldn't have a problem either But would Dylan's boobs approve?

DYLAN: Well, there's only one way to find out.

Dylan take a hold of Ariel's left hand and rubs it over her fabric covered breasts.

EINSTEIN: Wow! Dylan's getting felt up by Ariel Winter of Modern Family. This is fucking great. 'Cause you know me and Jay and Chris can't get away with this shit.

The two ladies smile and embrace.

CHRIS: Holy shit, Einstein. I think they're going for it.

EINSTEIN: You think they're going to do it right here?

JAY: Yeah, baby! Get it on, Dylan!

Ariel and Dylan french each other.

EINSTEIN: YES!

JAY: Woohoo! Get it on, baby!

CHRIS: Get her good, Ariel!

Ariel gets a hand loose and sticks it under Dylan's t-shirt. She rubs Dylan's belly.