There has to be some other name for what I am? I've had a very active sex life. I'm fifty now, and looking back through the corridors of time, there were many beautiful women in my life. The first was my wife of three years, until I met someone at work even more beautiful. That was the start of a series of women, and I was always amazed that they saw something in me. A beautiful actress/neighbor, a model I hired for a magazine layout, and many others. I finally came to except the fact that I wasn't very ugly!

Something happened a couple of years ago that changed everything. I lost my Willy. My dick decided to retire! It's called ED for Erectile Dysfunction. A phrase intended I'm sure to make it easier to discuss with your doctor. At least that's what the commercial said. My doctor didn't have a clue what I meant. All that to say along with a droopy dick, I lost the desire to even date.

That's when I got my first computer so I could check out the Internet Porn I've heard my friends talk about. While it certainly provided lots of entertainment, nothing caused a swelling in my jeans? So that's when I went back to the doctor to get on the Viagra train. I still had no interest in dating, but my right hand is picking up the slack surfing the porn. At least there was some pleasure involved for a change. That's when my interests changed forever I'm sure!

Just for a lark one day, I used my search engine to find preteen girls. Wow! There was all the eye candy a hungry pedophile would want? I don't consider myself a pedophile, since I've never touched a child at any time in my life. I did seem to have an identity crisis of sort though? Every time I looked at these little girls in the skimpiest attire and suggestive poses, little Willy became BIG WILL! So, up until last week, I didn't know what to think since I was addicted to surfing for them? If you are still reading this, the story is going to get better believe me. I'm going to BE a pedophile real soon!

While surfing last week I recognized one of the girls. In fact she was on several pages. She was even featured on one of the pay sites that promised more if I joined. So I joined. I wasn't sure what the "more" meant since they all made similar promises. I was always too afraid to sign up for one thinking the police probably monitor such things. But since it was someone I knew, I took a chance.

I'm a school bus driver for all three schools, and since looking at all the eye candy, I started to look at the elementary school kids differently. Some made my cock stir just looking at their sweet little faces with bodies growing more and more sexy since discovering what was available on the Internet. I found a sweet little face I recognized. Sweet little Rachael! Rachael is a ten-year-old fifth grader, and is she ever beautiful. Recently I've noticed her little developing body is quite seductive. Budding breasts, and a fabulous bubble butt! As I've said in other blogs, in the dictionary under "eye candy" is her picture I'm sure.

Just try to imagine my feelings at this discovery. It wasn't enough to see her on the non-nude pictures, when I joined the website I was shocked to find some truth in advertising. There really was more inside. I had a year's subscription to a pedo's dream site. Little boys and girls getting fucked and sucked and more by grown men with big cocks!

I found Rachael in the "incest" section, and sure enough, there was good old dad pounding away on her, and having her drink from his fountain of cum. Man that was hot! No trouble getting hard now! I didn't need the Viagra as I shot a big load in my underwear before I could get the damned thing out of my jeans. That'll teach me to be naked next time. I'm still a rookie at this, so be gentle with me.

Well, that was on a Monday, so the next day I decided to have a chat with Rachael. She was already one of my little helpers that I train each year. Some think it's really a big deal, and I was very pleased she said yes when I had asked her at the beginning of the year. Nothing much more than what to do in case I had a heart attack or anything that put me out. How to pull the emergency brake on and some other things along that order. She also would stay on the bus passed her stop to help me clean up. I had a remote forested area that I liked for that purpose after the last kid got off.

So on that Tuesday, when all the kids but her were dropped off, I parked at the usual spot, then told her I wanted to talk, not clean.

I sat next to her in the third row real close, bodies touching. Something I would have never done before. In fact, I put my hand on her bare leg above her knee, but below her short skirt, then said; "I found the most interesting pictures on the Internet last night", then dropped one that I had printed for just the occasion. It was a very clear shot of a nude daddy on all fours on her bed with the stuffed animals, and right behind him, little Rachael licking his butt.

She couldn't speak for the longest time. I just waited, enjoying the feel of her almost naked thigh. "How did you...I mean...were you...

...Oh my god Jerry! And then she started balling. I removed my hand from her leg and put it around her shoulders and pulled her close. "That's okay honey", I said. "It's going to be okay. I'm not going to show them to anyone, or even say anything about what I saw, I promise. This is just between you and me." I put my other hand on her thigh a little farther up than before, to touching the hem of her skirt. I don't think she even noticed since she was in shock.

After a few minutes she calmed down enough to talk. "Jerry, please don't hate me for what my daddy is doing to me. I've been in love with you since like forever! Please don't hate me for what daddy is doing. I didn't have a choice Jerry. Honest! Please believe me?"

"I do believe you sweetheart. I'm really happy that you love me. I have a secret to tell you. I've had a crush on you since the first day you stepped onto my bus. Of course being so much older that you, I haven't been able to do anything about it. Another confession is that when I saw what you and dear old dad was doing, I found myself wishing it was me. I hope that doesn't turn you off or something?"

"You mean it Jerry? Really? You really like me? I can't believe it! You aren't just saying that are you? Oh Jerry! I'm so sorry you had to find out about what my stupid dad is doing. I hate him, I really hate him. He's threatened to kill me and my little brother if I tell anyone. I just hate him! I wish he was dead! I know that's bad, but what he's doing is bad too! Do you hate me Jerry? I'm so sorry!"

"I don't hate you honey. I knew right away that it had to be your dad's idea. You are just too sweet for there to be any other explanation. So tell me Rachael, does your dad keep the movies and pictures of that stuff anywhere?"

"Yes. I've seen him put stuff in a shoebox in his closet. He doesn't know I saw him. I looked in the box one day and there was lots of stuff like pictures of other little kids doing stuff, and computer discs and some other things I don't know what they do?"

"Would you like to stop doing those things with your dad honey?"

"Yeah...I guess so...but...I'm afraid...would he be sent to jail? If he went to jail they would put me in some strangers home wouldn't they? I don't want to live with strangers. I'm afraid of doing anything. You won't tell will you? You promised you wouldn't tell didn't you?"

"Yes. I promised I wouldn't tell, and I meant it. But I do have an idea that I think you would like if it works. Do you think you could bring that box to school tomorrow?"

"I suppose I could if you think it's important somehow? Do I have to bring the shoebox? Is it okay if I put the stuff in my backpack and leave the box in the closet? I could empty it while he is in the shower in the morning, after he makes me su....I could do it then?"

I know exactly what she was going to say. Apparently daddy likes a blowjob to start the day. This is getting more and more interesting?

"That's a good idea honey. Wait until you are sure he is in the shower, and then dump everything in your backpack. Oh, and would you do me a favor and wear those blue shorts and knit top you wore last week again? You looked so pretty in that outfit." Actually she looked so fuckable in that outfit. She promised she would if they were clean. I was starting to formulate a plan.

I really put my nuts to work that night. They hadn't produced that much ever! I just had to spend hours looking at that website. I downloaded what I could just in case Rachael was unable to get the loot. I had big plans for what was in that shoebox. I know? I'm a bad person. But not as bad as I will be that's for sure. I think its safe to say I'm a card-carrying pedo now. I'm loving what that means?

I was so excited to get to her stop next morning. If she could deliver the goods, I could really get everything I wanted. And after spending half the night watching men get what I wanted, I had a hardon just thinking about the possibilities. No worries though. She smiled and winked at me when she got on. She even had on the outfit I asked her to wear even though so far it was not a hot day for shorts. I whispered, "I love you" as she climbed the steps. When I got her to school, she did not have the backpack when she got off. She just said, "I got everything that was in there. I don't know what some of it is? I hope you don't want me to return it, because I'm pretty sure he probably knows it's missing by now, and freaking out?"

"No worries little one. We aren't giving it back. I will explain when I pick you up at lunchtime. Walk down to the park area. I will meet you there at 12:30."

I immediately went home and fired up the computer. I started with the things she didn't know what they were. There were five memory sticks, each labeled 20GB. All five turned out to be videos. Nice long ones too. It was obvious that he belonged to a very special website. I was keeping these babies, wow! The CD's were all labeled with titles like, "Cocksucking, Assfucking, Cunt sucking, Butt licking, and so forth. Ten in all. I would check them out later. Then there were the printed pictures, all of which were with daddy and daughter. That's what I was really looking for. I settled back and called the phone number I had for Rachael's dad.

"Hello?"

"Hi, is this Robert?"

"Yes. Who's this? I'm kinda busy, so what the fuck do you want?"

"Oh. I have the contents of your shoebox and wanted to talk to you about it." Then I just hung up. Thought I would let him stew a bit before I called back. I was using a throw-away phone I picked up at the drugstore.

"Hello? I'm really sorry I was rude."

"Just so you know motherfucker, just why you shouldn't be such an asshole when you answer the phone, I'm changing my offer a little. First of all, little Rachael won't be home tonight. In fact, she's going to stay with me through the weekend. When I hang up, you will call the school and tell them a family emergency came up, and that she won't be at school until next Monday. Do we have an understanding?"

"Yes. What else do you want? I really need that stuff back mister."

"Forget about getting that stuff back. Also you will find that your websites that you belong to have had their passwords changed. Now I'm going to ask you a few questions and if you even try to lie, I promise to punish you in a most embarrassing way. Has anyone besides you molested Rachael?" Long pause....

"Yes. A couple of guys from work. I didn't let them fuck her though. Just blowjobs. You can ask her, she will tell you, just blowjobs."

"What about her little brother James? Have you fucked him too?"

"......yes. Just me though. Nobody else, honest. What about him?"

"I haven't decided yet. Until I do, you can keep fucking him. You are going to need someone to put that nasty cock of yours into. Rachael is going to need some clothes, so here's what you're going to do. Go to the movies tonight. The first one starts at six. It's that Panda bear one. There should be lots of kids there. You might like to try fondling one of them. Good luck with that, only don't fuck with me. You won't be getting home until after nine. And take the boy with you. Hell. If all else fails, you can fondle him!"

"Are you going to turn me in or something? I really don't want that. Is there some way I can change your mind if that's what you plan?"

"My plan is none of your fucking business! I will tell you this much. I'm going to make some of my own movies with Rachael, and I will even send you copies. In the meantime, use the boy to snag something fresh. I can appreciate what you've been doing. Rachel is hot. I think you will find that the new stuff is always better. Maybe if I like what you come up with, we can negotiate the return of certain items. Just don't get caught. I will let you know more about Rachael's future next week. Any questions?"

"I understand. Thanks for not turning me in. I think we could be good partners if you want? I already know of a couple kids that we can...you know, work with. I'll wash all of Rachael's dirty clothes so they will be ready when you come by. I swear I will be at the movie. I promise on my mothers grave that I won't fuck around with you."

I thought I had said enough, and heard enough to insure that the asshole would cooperate. So, I hung up. Next was picking up Rachael at the park and begin our adventure together. I have already put in for some time off. I wanted to take my new little sex toy up to my cabin for the rest of the week.

She was at the park on time, and she got in the car and we were off. I drove to a secluded spot, turned of the engine, and proceeded to update her on what I had been doing. I informed her she would never have to worry about her dad doing things to her (I planned to take up the slack on his behalf). She was thrilled to hear that and hugged me so hard while thanking me. Finally, I pushed her back a little, and then kissed her on the mouth. She didn't know squat about kissing it was obvious. I would enjoy teaching her, since it was probably the only thing she hasn't learned to do!

"Does it bother you sweetie, when I feel your pretty legs." I asked.

"No Jerry. I love every thing about you. I didn't tell you this, but when my dad and his friends were...doing things to me, I just closed my eyes and pretended it was you. Not all the time, because sometimes they hurt me, and that wasn't anything I wanted to think of those times, was you. Thank you so much for doing what you are doing. I don't care where you touch me, I'm just glad it's you and not dad.

That's all I can put in this blog right now? We are heading up to the cabin in about an hour. We still have to get her things before we go. There should be quite a lot to write about next time. I'm so excited! I'm no longer confused about what I am. I'm addicted to child porn, and not at all ashamed to admit it. I'm pretty sure Rachael will not be the last as I follow my dreams and fantasies.

Just to wet your appetite, I plan to go through the movies and pictures with her, and let her tell more details about what we are looking at. Should be very erotic I would think. Hope you like my entries, and until next time, keep on jacking!