Chapter 1

We lay cuddling as our hearts gradually slowed down, approaching something close to "normal." But if "normal" is "the way things used to be," then nothing would ever again be "normal" in our world. We began cuddling as equals. And slowly, I was the one who was sobbing softly. I was the one who needed to be held and soothed and comforted. And Chris was there for me and did all that and more for me.

After what we just did, you'd think it was Chris who was overwhelmed. But I was the one who couldn't wrap my brain around what we had just done. And at that moment, I had never loved anyone as deeply and profoundly and (I have to admit) as selfishly and jealously as I loved Chris. And I meant it when I asked, "Chris, will you come live with me? We'll make it work. And I want to be with you always and forever." And then the clock chimed. We kissed one last time, then Chris was gone.

As I drove home, my heart was racing, my mind was racing, and I was scared and elated at the same time. If we kept on like this, someone WOULD find out. I would be caught. And then I heard a siren and saw flashing red and blue lights in the rear-view mirror.

Oh SHIT ... that was faster than I thought. I slowed down and pulled over to the side of the two-lane road. And watched helplessly as the siren got louder and the lights closer and brighter.

And just like that, the patrol car flew past me and continued on to its rendezvous with whatever it was racing towards. I realized that I hadn't been breathing in what seemed like a very long time, and took a deep breath.

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The next morning, I first went to the bank and transferred some funds around, then told my agent to go ahead with the property I'd found in the back-mountains in another State, and asked my attorney to look into legal guardianship and adoption procedures. So I was late getting to the shelter. When I arrived, I gave my 30-day notice and told them I was leaving the area. Then I went looking for Chris' grandmother. And I found her fairly sober.

I had done some research. Turns out Chris' grandmother got sole custody of Chris after her parents were killed in a car accident. Things were ok with her at first. But in the years after the accident, she had slowly spiraled down. In my time at the Shelter, I'd seen and heard it all before.

In the years following the accident, "Gramma" slipped quickly into a world of alcohol and substance abuse. I told her I was doing some follow-up work on Chris' status and future. We took a walk - well I walked and she stumbled - to a nearby park. Three-quarters of a bottle of vodka later and we were "best buds." It would only last until the alcohol wore off and ran out, but it was a start. And I had a month. So we met every day to discuss Chris and what was going on with her and what she was going to do. I spoke about how intelligent Chris was she was, and how well she could do. And every day I stressed how much Gramma wanted only the best for Chris. And Gramma's alcohol intake increased every day. When I wasn't with Chris' Gramma, I was busy in my office, making sure things were all tidied up and no loose ends were left.

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The days after Chris and I "went all the way" were the longest days of my life. Fear that I was going to be caught. Fear that Chris wanted nothing more to do with me ever. Fear and guilt that I had HURT Chris - physically and emotionally. And finally, after a week, there was Chris. As usual, she didn't knock on the door, she simply walked into my office, and locked the door behind her.

"Chris, how are you I've been thinking about you all day I love you please tell me you still want to come live with me I need you ..." The words poured out of my mouth in one long sentence. And when I stopped to breathe, Chris "sushed me," wrapped her arms around me and held me as tight as she could. I kissed Chris on the top of her head, hoping she'd look up so I could kiss her lips. But she whispered into my chest, "Thank you Bill.

"You're welcome, sweetheart. What am I being thanked for?"

"Gramma really likes you. Not like boyfriend/girlfriend. Just likes you - 'cause you talk to her. 'Cause you talk about me and think I'm important. She's gonna tell you I can come live with you."

"So that sounds like something you might want to do?"

"Now. I wanna go with you NOW."

"Not just yet. We have to wait until she talks with me about you. But you're here now. And I'm here now. And I love you." And to emphasize this, I reach down and cupped her bottom-cheeks and gave them a little squeeze. Chris wiggled out of my arms and did a quick turn all the way round, then jumped up into my arms, my hands on her butt holding her. And she kissed me.

When we broke our kiss, Chris jumped out of my arms. She reached out and cupped my crotch and massaged my cock as it sprang to life. She undid my belt and trousers and as they fell to the floor, pushed my shorts down also. She wrapped her hand around my cock, and looking up at me smiled and giggled and said, "I did this. I did this to you - I love that I make you hard. I don't want anyone else to make you like this. And I don't want to do it with anybody but you."

"Yes you did. You DO. Chris, I get hard just thinking about you. Are you OK with us? Please tell me it's alright that we made love."

Chapter 2

The Barbecue was so successful that the staff (ok, egged on by me) decided to try a monthly "do" for the summer. Nothing fancy - but fun for all.

Chris was doing the sack-race, and I was taking my turn at the grill when I felt a Frisbee hit my legs.

"Bill (by this time, folk knew my name but nothing else - I hoped), over here!" a couple of the older kids called to me.

Standing off to the side watching was a young girl, maybe 6 years old. She looked bored, lonely and wishing she could do ... something. The sister?

I flipped the Frisbee in the direction of the girl trying to "boomerang" it. The idea was that it would appear to soar high over her head, then come back toward her. If I did it right, she'd have to run a few steps to make an easy catch. She watched it sail over her head, disappointed by my "errant" throw. When it came back it actually landed right on top of her head. No way I could have ever done that. I didn't think anything about it, but turned back to the burgers on the grill.

I felt a tap on my arm. "Play with me, mister! Play with me?"

I looked down and saw the little 6 year old girl. She was looking up at me with big brown eyes, her face framed by her long, tangled brown hair. She was absolutely beautiful. She looked up hopefully, and I smiled my best smile and said "OK."

She jumped up and down and grabbed my hand and started pulling me. And of course, I followed. She had either somehow coaxed the Frisbee away from the boys, or had found another. She gave it to me and said "throw it to me."

"OK sweetheart. Run that way." I pointed off and she ran just a few steps and turned around, to see if I was really going to play with her. I flipped the disc to her, and of course, she missed it. And when she tried to toss it back, it didn't go anywhere.

I trotted over, picked up the Frisbee and knelt down to her level. I took her little hand in mine and showed her how to hold it and how to toss it. And with my arm around her waist, I helped her throw it, then picked it up and tossed it back. She was a quick study for her age, and her next throw was much better. I walked back over to her and again helped her toss it. This time, I allowed my hand to linger a few seconds longer than necessary, but kept my hand still on her hip. She didn't seem to mind. We stayed like that as I "helped her work on her form." Well, I WAS working on her form.

I jogged a few steps away, and tossed it to her. She caught it and tossed it back, right to me. Again I tossed it to her, this time over her head so she had to take a few steps back to retrieve it.

"No, toss it from there," I said. We repeated this several times until we were quite a ways away from the crowd, right at the tree-line. And this time, I tossed it into the trees.

"Uh oh. We'll have to go look for it," I said. We went into the woods where we couldn't see or be seen by anyone. Now understand this - I was NOT going to fuck her. She was far too young and far too small and I wasn't THAT far gone and depraved - not yet. But I have to admit that the idea of kissing her and fondling her crowded out every human humane thought I might have had.

Chapter 3

The shelter had a Resident Work Program in place. I had access to the applicant list, and the type of job they were looking for. I had gotten in the habit of checking the list every day - looking for Chris's name. Maybe she was looking for part time work housecleaning or something. But mostly just to see her name. Yeah, I know. Foolish of me. - what can I say?

Well, one day it occurred to me that maybe I could find other girls that way. I looked, and there were a number of names. Now, how to go about it? I didn't want to just randomly pick out a name. I finally decided to check out names one at a time. And of course, I kept looking for Chris's name too.

I "casually" mentioned that I was thinking of having someone in to do some light housecleaning. And over the next few weeks, I discretely checked out names. One at time. Quietly. Susan, no too old. Blair, no too old. Billie, older than I had in mind, but definitely one to keep an eye on. Then I ran across Sally's name. I remembered her from the picnic the month before. Maybe it was my horny imagination, but I seemed to remember her watching me with Chris. Maybe there was something there. Maybe this was more volatile than nitroglycerin. But I'd long since stopped thinking with my brain. No, my actions were "dick-tated" by another organ.

I spent the next few days watching Sally. She looked to be 11 or so. Short brown hair and brown eyes. Slender and still flat-chested with no hint just yet of breasts. But her legs were a bit too long for her body. Her arms a bit too long, and her fingers a bit too short and stubby. All in all, she looked like she'd been assembled with spare parts. She just didn't fit right.

The next Monday, I filled out the paperwork, and quietly nudged it toward Sally. And a couple days later, there was a knock on my office door.

"Come In," I called.