Mornings in the dawn. The rose in her small hand was freshly picked from a garden of flowers, and still had dew drops on its fragile petals. The fragrance was something she loved, and there was nothing to match its perfection in her mind. The yellow, reminded her of the sunshine, and made her smile. She touched the rose to her cheek, and closed her eyes and thought of all she could not have. The smile faded into tears that began to roll down her soft face, like the drops of dew on the flower that was still held in her hand.

Her childhood was a chaos. Her parents were always away, working, and never paying much attention to their nine-year-old daughter who was often left alone and unloved. There was no way out. It was her life. All she wanted was a hug or a kiss, but there was never time for it, they said so many times even she began to believe in their lies. It always came back to the very thing she was still living. She had a soft heart, and it had been bleeding for nine years of her life, there was no way for her to stop it, the child was slowly dying from the inside out from heartaches, heavy and hurting. Her daily tasks were like cement blocks, dragging on her with each motion she took. But still she pushed on. No one could see a little girl slowly fading into the twilight of her emotions. But she could feel it, falling deeper each day, always wondering which nightfall it would be that would cover her and she had no desires in her body to continue on.

Her lips were soft and full, and she had a dimple on the right side of her mouth, that came out only when she oversmiled, which didn't happen much over the past years. When she came in from school, she would sit in the rocker and watch the fire and let her mind wander to things she could feel, if only she could escape from her uncaring parents, and this is when she broke into a smile, but not a soul was there to see it. But she knew when it came, and sometimes would break into a quiet laugh just thinking about letting it out when no one was there to care. This was one of her weakest moments and she danced in her thoughts, of being in a pink chiffon dress, in the arms of a caring, loving, smiling man, that looked to her eyes for the sparkle in his life. But then she would remember, it's only thoughts, and can never be in her life, and the smile would fade into the flames of the fire that burned in her heart.

Her hair hung free, in long blonde braids that were wrapped on the ends with tiny yellow ribbons, the only thing her parents gave her for Christmas, even though it was more a necessity than a luxury. Her hair was her only means of transforming herself into another child, when the need overcame her. There were times, she would go outside to the local park, and undo the tiny ribbons and loosen the braids, and run her fingers through her long hair and let it be one with the wind. This was her release from the boredom of her everyday life, and as soon as she untied the ribbons, a feeling would come over her, and she would become a Princess in her mind, soft and loved and beautiful. Her little body would dance in the breezes, her hair cascading across her small shoulders, and blowing in her face, to hide the tears.

Time would stop here for the little girl, and become a carousel of miracles. The man she saw in her dreams would come alive and take her hand, gently, pulling her into his body, and throwing her back, twirling her like a little butterfly in the wind. The pain that was in her, would drown in her happiness, and she would smile. She knew the man saw this, and her eyes would sparkle and her face would light, and she would follow his steps, exactly, like any Princess would. She was obsessed with his tenderness. She was enslaved with his attentions, something she did not have in her real life. There were no tears of sadness and hopelessness any longer. This was the real child. This was the loved and loving little girl that she was, but could never be.

The man before her, smiled endlessly at her, begging the child with his eyes to kiss him, but she toyed with his wants, until the very moment that she could hold out any longer, and she danced herself into his body, close and warm, and stopped for a brief second and just stared into his wanting eyes, drinking in the longing she could feel him doing, treasuring the innocent feelings that were heating in her.

These were feelings she could not feel, except only in her park, by the carousel of miracles that she now belonged in. She was no longer just a daughter, but a Princess... and all who saw her, marveled at her confidence and happiness that flowed from her smiles. She had not a care in the world. Her little feet wore only a soft pair of pink shoes, and her boots lay muddied by the path. The man took her by the hand and led her to the circling horses, as the music coming from the organ played her favorite song. She was lost in the heavens somewhere, and had no thoughts of ever returning. He lifted her onto the oak wooden floor, and stepped up beside her, stopping momentarily to put his lips on her hair. She could feel his breath, and turned to him, putting her lips close to his skin, giving him the invitation to touch her. He stroked her little cheeks with the back of his hand and smiled into her eyes. She felt wanted and loved and needed. His lips met hers, and the two of them, together, with the music of the organ, got lost in a circle of touches, and sounds, not knowing which was real and which was the imagination.

This was the carousel of miracles and its magic was in them, alive and real, and she knew that all she had to give him, was all he would ever need. There were no questions and no answers, there was only complete contentedness, and simple desires, and passions, being nurtured from what she was giving to him and what he was giving to her. The look on his face was more than she could ever hope for, the look that she was something special, like a crystal diamond on the mountain of all hopes, and here, just for him. That was to her more than any gift she could ever hold, the need in her to be loved and wanted and something special to just one person. Time passed as they circled there, the two of them, wrapped in feelings, that neither could tear themselves away from.

 As the little girl lay on his shoulder, her arms wrapped around his neck, she looked down up at the clouds, and remembered it was time to return to the place where she had just escaped. Her heart became heavy and a feeling of sadness worked through her. But she knew she must go. She had no explanations to give to him; she did not want to go anymore than he wanted her to, but it was there, all of it, haunting her back. Pulling her, tearing her, until she had to walk away, and slip her soft pink shoes back off and put the muddied boots back on her feet, picked up the two yellow ribbons and rebraided her hair. When she did this, there were tears forming in the corner of her eyes.

He saw this, and stepped down off the carousel and came to her, took her little face in his hands and smiled. This smile, she knew, meant that he would be waiting for her to return, no matter what time or how, she must return, or his very existence would be useless. The little girl took his fingers, and put his smallest one to her lips, and kissed it with a seal that he understood. Her heart would be here, until she returned and he still would be waiting, with his smile, hoping for her touch, to belong to him once again.

As she returned to her thoughts, she knew, she had been somewhere that she needed to return to. Some day she vowed to never come back to the hopelessness of her home that could never be changed, but until then, her life as it had to be, had no more meaning than it did before, she was still consumed with things out of her control and whenever her parents let her go, she would return to that park where her happiness roamed, and she would remain there, with her dreams... forever.

The End