"Say, you're the guy they call The Lone Ranger, aren't you?"

"I've been known to use that name."

"I thought so ... The mask, outfit, and Silver Bullets kind of gave it away."

"So, if you already knew, why did you ask?"

"Well ... I wasn't sure; because the guy they call The Lone Ranger always has a sidekick ... an Indian, I believe; and you're all alone."

"You mean, Tonto?"

"*That's* the moniker I was thinking of. So what happened to your 'Faithful Indian Companion' anyway? He get shot or something?"

"No ... He's just back on the Reservation where he belongs."

"I thought he belonged with you."

"So did I ... But his tribal leaders thought differently ... That he had a more pressing obligation at home."

"Home? I didn't ever hear of Tonto having a home."

"Neither did I, until we happened to be passing by one day, and Tonto stopped in to see his mother."

"That must have been a shock."

"Well, it sure was ... Both to me, finding out Tonto actually had a family; and to my sidekick when he found out he had a 10-year-old little sister."

"So why was that a shock? Parents have kids all the time."

"Yeah ... but his dad has been dead for over twelve years ... and guess what? Tonto left home about ten years and eight months ago."

"You don't mean ...."

"Yep ... Tonto knocked up his mom just before he left. I always wondered if the guy was a bit weird sexually; since he never seemed interested in chasing any of the girls, even Indian girls that we met. For a while I thought he might be queer; going around with just me; but since he never made a pass at me in all the years we were together, I stopped worrying. Still, I had my doubts about his sexuality ... couldn't help it. It seems he was just being 'faithful' to his family."

"So that's why the Tribal Elders are making him stay? I can see that they'd be a little pissed."

"Not exactly. Tonto's tribe is a small one; and has some rather funny customs. It seems that a young boy is *expected* to take his father's place if the father dies ... and yes, in bed too. It seems my sidekick has been supporting his family by using his share of our silver mine to help them get by ... and I never even suspected. Not that I mind, mind you. I'm kind of tickled to see that the guy takes care of his family like that."

"So what WAS the deal?"

"Well ... How to put this ... It's been a LONG time since Tonto had any ... So, of course, he spent a night or two with his mother; and when I learned what the deal was, I encouraged the guy to spend a week or more there. So he did."

"But you say he *stayed* there."

"Uhuh. Now you have to realize that an Indian Wigwam is a rather small place; and ... uh ... Hard to hide things from a kid."

"You don't mean ...."

"Yeah ... his 'little sister' saw him and their mother making love ... and before you know it, SHE had joined in."

"So the tribal leaders got mad at *that*?"

"No, not exactly. Remember I *told* you the tribe had some strange customs."

"Stop teasing, and tell me what happened."

"He knocked the kid up, of course."

"Oh. So the Tribal Leaders ...."

"... Made him marry the kid. That's why he's now stuck on the Reservation."

"Oh."

'Not only that, but his mother is pregnant again too. That boy must have had a *very* busy night."

"So, he's stuck there now until the kids are born this time?"

"Until they grow up ... And from the look of things, that'll be a long time; as he's sleeping in the same tent with both his mother *and* the 'little sister' he fathered on her; so this time next year I fully expect a *second* set of little papooses to be stretching both his mother's tummy and his little sister's as well. You can see where *that* leaves me."

"Yeah ... without a partner. I guess if he's porking his own mother and his sister/daughter, it's no wonder he never went looking for girls."

"So, for now, Tonto is pretty much stuck in the middle of the Reservation, with the kid's he's producing?"

"Yeah, but that's not really anything new to me; as I always did think the guy was stuck in the middle of one; if you see what I mean."

"Oh God ... I can smell this one coming. You don't really mean ...."

"Yeah. I always *did* have serious reservations about that Indian and his sexuality."