Prologue

Since whoever reads this will probably think this is fiction, and since I heard that Uri and Demetri were killed last year, I finally feel safe enough to write down the truth. This is my public confession. In a nutshell - namely me - I slowly - and unintentionally - entered the world of Russian pre-teen pornography, although they kept calling it "art."

After the first few weeks of teaching in that orphanage, I began to repeatedly molest and photograph my female students - ages 8 - 17. And over the following two year period I began doing additional sex-related training with many of those girls. I was directed to do specific "training" by the headmaster and other staff at the school, and of course, by some of the Russian Mafia members themselves. I was assigned to teach English and math, but also, a few nights each week, I was told to teach certain girls about other sexual pleasures. One or two of these girls would spend most of the evening in my small apartment. I didn't know it at the time, but I was also being videotaped.

They let me know after the first six weeks that I could not turn them in without also implicating myself. This sounds trite, but they also knew the address of my parents in the U.S. However, I'm not trying to deny any guilt. But I see now that I was led, step-by-step to become part of their organization. It seemed so innocent at first... at least for the first few weeks. But by the end of the sixth week I couldn't leave.

The girls seemed to enjoy all of it, too - the modeling, the "games," and the arts of pleasure that I was ordered to show them. I think I felt guilty at the time for misguiding these orphans. But they seemed to really like it. In fact, they appeared to love it. I sure enjoyed it once I got past my scruples. And I know my psychologist will call this rationalization - but I think the attention I gave the girls was much less traumatic than the civil unrest they survived just a few years before meeting me. I considered myself a stepping stone back to a "normal life" for many of these girls. Although I suspect "normal" for some of them was earning a living as dancers or prostitutes in Prague or elsewhere. It's not so socially frowned upon as a profession over there as it is here in the states. And some adults are able accumulate wealth over they younger, high-earning years. But there I go - rationalizing again. Let me just tell you what happened.

During my second year as a teacher I took trips to Prague with other members of our staff to act as special photographer for several Russian Mafia-run websites. Uri told me that the Mothers liked my English accent because I made everything seem more "proper." In Prague, and some of the neighboring villages, mothers would bring their daughters to be photographed, because the money was very good. Sometimes the mother remained in our make-shift studio during the first session. And, at least during their first few photography sessions, nothing "happened." Although I suspect that some of the girls branched off into "entertaining" customers - and for good money - money good enough to support a whole family. But I didn't set that up, and I'm not even sure that's what was going on, but I think so. The Russian mob took care of all those details - coordinating things with visiting businessmen, politicians, or dignitaries - primarily, but not exclusively, men. That was another reason they wanted the girls to learn English. Many of the vocabulary words, such as "lap dance' and so many synonyms for penis - well, they probably aren't taught so soon in other foreign language classes offered in schools. I also suspect that some of these pre-teen models were introduced to the world of Lesbos through traveling businesswomen, or through putting on private "shows" with other models while men watched. However, I didn't see any of that during my first year, but I did see pictures that I was probably not supposed to see.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. I'll write down what I can remember in a little bit. I'll tell you about the photography sessions and my "training sessions" where I taught groups of girls how to kiss each other, or how to lick me, or how to get each other off, or some of the many ways to get a guy off... but that happened later.

Anyway, ten years ago I was naïve and idealistic, although at the time I didn't think so. After studying Eastern European languages in college, I scouted overseas papers looking for a semi-volunteer teaching job in the former Soviet Union. I had primarily studied Czech because of the influence of Uncle Leopold, one of my favorite relatives. Fortunately my family was well off so I didn't really need to earn money after finishing college, and they encouraged me to travel. So, I was looking for travel and adventure, and I wanted to help those less-fortunate - kind of like a horny Albert Schweitzer ... the typical idealistic point of view of a spoiled college kid. I ended up as an English teacher at St. Katerina's Orphanage and School - just outside a tiny village near the border of the Czech Republic and Slovakia, about eighty kilometers south east of Prague and about sixty kilometers north east of Vienna. I got room and board but very little money for the two years I taught at St. Katerina's. That whole area of the country was poor at that time. Now, after more than ten years, I feel it's safe to share my adventure, which as I said, is also a confession.

Most of the girls had been removed from the areas of fighting for at least two or three years before I arrived at St. Katerina's. They seemed happy. They liked my classes. They liked me. They wanted my attention and affection. But I still feel guilty. I also get an erection every time I contemplate those years. In retrospect I can see that I did my best possible job of teaching them English and math to help them improve their futures.

And I could copout like one of Hitler's henchmen and say I was just "following orders," which I was. I knew that if I tried to stop things I would disappear and the girls - who weren't really being harmed - would lose a good English teacher.

I'm now seeing a psychologist. She suggested that I write down my memories so that we could talk about them. Here are examples of my memories and thoughts.

After College

I knew that the landscape in former Czechoslovakia would be beautiful and that the summers were mostly warm with many surprise thundershowers. The winters would be colder than I was used to in the northeast United States. Most of the people in the country were agnostics but about 25 percent of the population was Catholic. About 75 percent of the population were agnostics and seemed to have a live-and-let-live attitude about everything. There were several languages and dialects in a relatively small geographic area. I felt safe going to that area after the fall of the Soviet Union and the peaceful split of Czechoslovakia in what was called the "Velvet Revolution." There were many refugees and orphans who escaped the not-so-peaceful civil wars and strife in Bosnia, Serbia, and other areas in that part of the world during and after the fall of the Soviet Union.

Meeting Uri

I met the headmaster of that school-orphanage in Vienna early that summer. Uri was in his late 50s, worldly, had a stocky build, and looked more like a Mafia figure than a school principal. He spoke four languages well and knew a little bit of English. We talked for several hours over dinner and he invited me to visit the school the following month so I could see the school and meet some of the people I might be working with if things worked out. For some reason, he cautioned me to not be judgmental. "So we can see if you would fit in with our total program. After all, we'll all be living in close quarters for two years if things work out. We need an English teacher, so that would be a great help. Some of the people who support our program have business ties with the United States, so you might be able to help us there, too, or..." He laughed, "Maybe you could help me read the directions for my new camera in English. And I'm impressed by your Czech. You can express yourself so that the students will be able to understand you. Some of the students are not from the Czech Republic and speak other languages from the region, so you can help each other."

I knew that he was referring to the political turmoil in that part of the world, and I would be glad to help with their orphanage and school program. My heart went out to those poor kids who had lost their homes and families. Uri said, "And you look athletic so you could probably help with other things, too. We will need help with carpentry and fixing things up on our campus."

I told him that I would be glad to help however they needed me.

Uri seemed glad to learn that I was also a hobby photographer; and that I liked to swim, bike, and jog. I told him I enjoyed carpentry and painting and it would be fun to help build or fix things. I think he was impressed by my wide range of interests. He said I would find lots of opportunities to take pictures, and that the countryside was picturesque. I had seen maps of that area and expected to find many narrow valleys that would have scenes fit for a calendar.