Lily seemed a little suspicious of my sudden change of heart. "Really?"

Although I now wanted to see what this monster looked like, I decided to play it cool, act like I was ambivalent. "Go on before I change my mind." I sat on the corner of the bed, out of sight of the webcam, but close enough that I could see the screen.

She opened up a private video chat. "Ah, there's my favorite little slut. Everything is well I hope?" he said, in a deep voice with what seemed to me like a ridiculous Russian accent, with his W's sounding more like V's. I couldn't see his face, though, to my disappointment, he only showed himself from about the neck down. What I did notice was that he had a few tattoos, one of a rose on one of his pectorals, and on his shoulder and neck there was something that looked like a bull. Other than that, he was well built, maybe a little on the stocky side, but with obvious musculature. If it ever came to a physical confrontation between us, I wasn't sure I could win. I was so hoping he was some scrawny little geek.

Lily greeted him with the same cheer she greeted me. "Hi Serge. I don't have a lot of time today."

"Why not? You said there was no school today in America."

"Not all of America, I think, just my school. But I have other things I need to do."

"Still, I am very glad I get to see you today. When you come on normally, it is too late." What a whiner. You'd think he'd be grateful he could see her at all.

"Sorry. But at least you have the videos, right?"

"I love the videos, but your lover is too... not a man." My face began to burn. "He is too scared to make it look good, to show you off proper, treat you like you deserve."

"I'm working on him," Lily said with a sly glance in my direction. "And he's a good lover, at least."

He made a dismissive noise, like he was spitting. "You only have the one, you need more than one to say he is good. I told you, in some months my friends and I take trip to America, maybe we could stop by your city. I would show you how man fucks. I would take you hard, make you scream."

A cold chill filled me. Even though I had always feared the guys Lily talked to might not be satisfied with a long distance relationship, actually seeing Serge try to get her to agree to meet with him was terrifying. I almost stood up to tell him off when she said, "I told you, Serge, I'm not telling you where I live. You'll just have to wonder."

"Yes, yes, you are smart girl, but I hope one day you trust me enough to change your mind." Never, if I had anything to say about it. As soon as she was finished the conversation, I decided I was going to have another talk with her, even if it sparked another fight. This guy was giving me serious sexual predator vibes. Maybe I had no room to hang that label, but I just took what Lily offered and never tried to encourage her to do more... the opposite, in fact.

"But let's pretend I did. What would you do with me?" Lily spoke in a flirty, casual tone, like this was an everyday part of their conversations.

Serge played along, leaning forward a little. "First I would get you naked. Why are you not naked, my little slutochka?" He didn't actually say "slutochka", it was something in Russian that I didn't understand and could not remember, but whatever it was, I didn't like it.

Lily stood on her chair and stripped off, first top, then shorts and underwear. "I'm naked, so now what?" She sat back down again, legs spread.

"I would put my fingers in your little pussy, and spread it, and show my friends."

Lily spread her own pussy wide. "Your friends?"

"Of course, you are exhibitionist, so I bring friends to watch us. I would get you to pose for them while they masturbate and wish they could have you. Maybe you would let them after I am done."

"Maybe." I grit my teeth silently, fuming.

"But first I have you, after I show you off. You would bend over and show your ass." Lily turned around on her chair, pointing her rear to the camera. "No, spread wider, to see your asshole."

Lily placed one hand on each cheek and spread widely, so the camera had a clear view of her hole... both holes, actually, for her pussy was in view as well.

"Yes, and you would show them how horny you get being exposed, you would masturbate from below." One hand left, and followed his instructions, dropped into her crotch so you could see her fingers on the screen playing with her pussy. "You would beg me to fuck you."

"Yes, Serge, fuck me, please."

Serge had begun playing with his dick on his end of the camera, but stopped briefly. "Do you have something handy to use? A brush handle? To pretend is my cock?"

"Yeah," she said, reaching over to grab one from the table by her bed. She turned her butt to the camera again and worked the brush handle into her pussy lips.

"No," he said. "Not in the pussy, today I want you to put in your asshole. I have waited so long, and it is where I want my cock..."

"Oh, but..."

"No but," he said. "Except the one my cock will go into."

"Okay," she said. "I guess I could try..."

All through this a mix of emotions were building, disgust, anger, even jealousy, but finally I couldn't take any more. I stood up and stalked to the edge of her desk, and pulled out the cable that connected her computer to the house network. If her parents used wireless, I suppose I would have pulled the power plug, but all I wanted to do was kill her internet connection and terminate the conversation with Serge.

"What the fuck?" she cried, turning around in her chair and then launching herself out of it.

"You shouldn't be talking to him," I told her. "The guy's a creep."

"Serge is my friend."

"No he isn't, he's just using you. All these friends only want you because you're performing for them."

"So what? I like it and they like it. And don't act like you're innocent, you wouldn't even be here if you weren't getting some."

"At least I care about you, and that wouldn't change even if I wasn't getting some. These guys are bad news, and I don't want you indulging them anymore."

"There you go again, acting like you somehow have the right to run my life! You don't get any say in who I talk to or what I do with them. It's not like you're my boyfriend!"

"Well, I might as well be," I snapped. I was spending more time with her than anybody else, thinking about her all the time, turning down other romantic attachments because of her, and, of course, I was having sex with her.

The acrimony on Lily's face suddenly vanished. Completely, as though she'd forgotten the entire argument the moment I said it. "Really?" she asked, eyes widening hopefully.

That's when I realized it for the first time... every time she'd said "you're not my boyfriend", what she was really saying was "will you be my boyfriend?" She wanted me to disagree... maybe it was what she wanted all along.

I heard someone say once that men use love in order to get sex, and women use sex in order to get love. The first half isn't true, at least not for me... I enjoy sex, but I really wanted it to be with somebody I loved, and had started to feel that way about Lily. Maybe the second half of the saying had some truth to it, though. Maybe my cousin came on to me because she wanted to be with me. She couldn't just ask to be my girlfriend, I would have said no, but she realized that if she gave me sex, maybe I'd come to want more. Maybe she even deliberately had camsex with Serge to make me jealous.

It was crazy though, to try to become Lily's boyfriend, even crazier than having this casual sex relationship. It was doomed to failure, and because emotions were now involved, failure would be catastrophic. And yet, with her looking up at me like that, eyes brimming with hope, I couldn't disappoint her... more, I didn't want to. I knew even better than she that it wasn't possible for our relationship to work out, but she made me believe I could do the impossible. So I said it. "Yes. I'd like to be your boyfriend." Suddenly I stumbled, ashamed, worried I'd read her wrong, and added, "I mean, if you wanted."

"Yes," she exclaimed. "Yes, yes, yes." She raced towards me and actually leaped on me, wrapping her legs around me so she wouldn't fall. She wasn't quite level, but it only took a little effort to pull up close enough that she kissed me, right on the lips, and our tongues soon met. Mouth-kissing was one of the two forbidden acts, and maybe it was because of being denied what I'd wanted to do for so long, it gave me a high that rivaled even sex... at least, the way my pulse raced and heart pounded, it was like our first time all over again.

I was deliriously happy that once the kiss broke, I couldn't stop smiling. Neither could she. I let her drop to the ground, and then we just stared into each other's eyes and smiled madly for almost a minute. Finally it dawned on me that it was over, that I'd won, or so I thought, until I voiced the thought. "So you'll shut down the Facebook page?"

Lily's smile faded, and was replaced by a puzzled expression. "Why would I do that?"

"Well... I'm your boyfriend now...." It felt so strange to hear those words coming out of my mouth, but it was a good kind of strange. "So you don't need all these guys looking at you."

"Jack... I may be your girlfriend, but I'm still an exhibitionist. I thought you understood that." My good mood evaporated. "You may be my boyfriend, but that doesn't mean you get to run my life." It was the phrase that would replace "You're not my boyfriend!"

"But, I thought... you said if I were your boyfriend..." It was a struggle trying to remember exactly what she'd said, but I thought I'd understood the gist of it. "This all started when I wanted you to stop camming with Serge!"

Lily showed me I was wrong when I thought I understood. "Right. I won't cam with Serge again," she promised. "Or anybody else. Video sex is cheating, and I'm never going to cheat on you, Jack. But I'm still going to want to show off, and make videos... that's part of who I am and it's not going to change." She took a deep breath. "So you need to decide if you can accept that. Because I really really want to be your girlfriend, but if you can't let me be me, we should probably go back to just being friends. Friends with benefits, but friends only."

I thought about it for a while, with her gaze on me the whole time. It wasn't what I wanted, but it was a step in the right direction. At least it would put an end to one dangerous activity, and I could apply pressure, as her boyfriend, to try to get her to cut out some of the other activities... and, of course, there's the fact that I'd have a girlfriend. Sure, she was young, but she was smart and, pretty much a perfect personality by my book, someone I could fall madly in love with if I just let myself. Only the exhibitionism bothered me, and I was optimistic that I'd be able to work on that.

Boy, did I turn out to be wrong on that part, but I was right about how easy it would be to fall in love with her. I was already well on my way.

"So, what do you say?"

I said it a little grudgingly, but I said it. "I still want to be your boyfriend."

She grinned, the relief on her face so evident I wondered if maybe she was bluffing, that if I had said "I want to be your boyfriend, but you have to give it up," she would have done so. But I don't know, and wasn't willing to try. "Good. Then you're my boyfriend, and I'm your girlfriend." She blushed, actually blushed like she was embarrassed, for the first time I could remember. The girl who thought nothing of masturbating in front of strangers blushed at the admission that we were now no longer just friends. It was beautiful, but it was fleeting. She swallowed, and regained her composure, the color slowly fading. "So, we should celebrate."

"How?" I hadn't thought ahead. We might be boyfriend and girlfriend but she was still too young to date in a traditional way... I just hoped she understood that, and that she could be okay with the secrecy that would be necessary to keep our relationship going. "I could order something out, for lunch..."

"We could," she agreed. "But I was more thinking that we have sex... no, if we're boyfriend and girlfriend I guess we should call it making love."

"That could work too," I agreed. It would be a new experience, with the ability to kiss her and to lick her in her most intimate places, and I was all ready to go.

"Get my camera," she said.

"What?"

"It's our first time. Our first time as boyfriend and girlfriend. We have to record it!"

I managed to talk her out of it, reminding her that I wouldn't kiss her if my face could be caught on camera, and that I really wanted to kiss her. Luckily the thought of that swayed her, and we moved to her bed, kissing each other softly, the camera left on her desk. "Next time," she said as we continued to make out. "Next time, we're recording it."

There was no video, no pictures, no Audience for our first time, our first time making love instead of just having sex. It was just the two of us, and I intend to keep it that way by ending the story here. There are other stories that I might tell one day about my relationship with my cousin, but that one you perverts don't get.

Sometimes, something has to be private. Even for an exhibitionist.