"You're 12 years now, Chile. It be time fo you to hear my story." Grandy looked a million years old to a twelve year old girl. Tanya thought of her Grandy as both frightening and calming.

Grandy had power over the people in her life, just from the strength of her character. When Grandy said listen, it was only a fool that didn't. And Tanya was no fool.

"I was born to your great grandma and grandpa," she started. "That was back in '49. Us slaves weren't freed til 1865. Well, it war really 1866 'for the Yankees set us free. In South Carolina, you don't be free cause the M lets you. They done kep us so poor we couldn't leave anyway."

Massa was a mean man; lease we all thought so. That is till his son growed up. That little snake was bad from can to can't. I swear he'd climb a tree to tell a lie when he coulda stood on the ground and tole the truth. He's name twas Theodore."

Like I done said, Massa was a mean man. He musta thought he hadda be cause he owned the lot of us slaves. Like anybody, we'd moan and wail if he didn't keep the bit in our moufs. I member, he'd come ridin through the corn field when it was hottern a cement pot in July. We was powerful tired from weedin that corn. Massa would whip us with his riding stick to make us work. Then he'd yell at the head nigger; callin him every name he could recall. It warnt no good; but, it was worser when his boy Theodore came of age.

I was 12 an Theodore was 17 when he first notice me. I was grindin' corn for pone. That was a good job an I was in the shade working that poundin stone. Theodore rode up on that mare his daddy give im.

"Hey, Bessie, come on over here an give me a squeeze." He said. He stare at me with a mean look. I warnt as smart as you girl, an I aint knowd what he was after. But, isa smart mouth. "Gwann James, I ain't got no time for you foolishness."

Well, youda thought I spit in his eye. "You damn nigger!" he shouted. "You gonna live to regret that smart mouth."

"I aint mean nothing, Massa," I yelled as he rode off. He aint even looked back once. Jus tore off fo the main house.

Lord, chile, I aint knowd if I was gonna get a beatin or worse. But it weren't long til it all come out.

You see, the Massa's wife done died of the fever six months' for then. An they couldn't get the main house to workin to suit the Massa. Well, slap me silly, but the head nigger come callin to our shack and says to my Dad.

"We gonna take Bessie up to the big house to hep out. Clean her up good and send her up there first thing on the mornin."

My Dad don't like that tal'. But, talkin back to the head nigger be worse than anything. He war big on beatin us regular niggers. Reckon it made him feel special.

Anyway, early next morning Mam got me up an cleaned and dressed in my Sunday dress. An, off to the big house went I. Now, the big house was a diffrent worl. Thar was a real little worl thar that set each again tother. Slave bit slave and the white folk jus love it. Aint no beatin up to the big house. We niggers kep each other in line.

I was given to da head cook, Missy. She stood me in da kitchen and look me up n down. "You sure aint much to look at girl. How old you be?"

"Miss Missy, I be 13 sometime in Febary," I replied.

"I aint need no girl in my house," she spat. "What can you do but moan an wail?"

"Well Miss Missy, I kin grin' da corn and make a passable pone. I recon I can clean anyting whats dirty. And, I ain't never earned a beatin for nothing," I said, kinda pokin my chest out.

"Well, nigger," she said. "White folk don't eat no pone. An I'll be decidin what you can an can't do."

I thought it were a fine time to show her sum respect. "Yes Maam. What ever I can do to help."

"Go get some wood for the sto..."

"Missy!" was yelled out somewhere in that big ole house.

"Yes Massa," Missy called out.

"Bring me a cup of tea and a sliced tomato," he yelled.

"Right away, Massa," she replied. "Run chile and fetch a red ripe tomato from the patch out by the back porch. And hurry up about it."

I knowd that patch. Them vegetables look awful good to us slaves. I scooted out and found a big red one with almost no worm holes in it.

I put that mater on the kitchen table an back up to watch. Missy was a fussin this way and that. She had the water on the stove and grabbed a big knife and headed for that mater.

"Oh! Dammit," she spat. I looked and saw she done cut her thumb wit that knife. Blood was a pourin out. "Pour that water to the cup and put that tea ball in thar," she commanded. I jumped to it. I aint knowd nothing about that stuff, but, it warnt that hard to figur out.

"Okay, get a plate from that shelf and put this tomato onit," she warnt fellin too good then.

"Now, put these on that thar tray, and take it into Massa. And if you drop it, you be weedin corn for the sun sets." She said.

I headed the way that yell came from, no idear whar I were goin. Chile, that house were somethin'. Thar was this an that all over tha place. Just keepin that stuff clean was a heap o work. Anyway, as I moved, I seed a motion. All a sudden, that snake Theodore be grabbin at me.

"Massa James, I takin this tray to yore Daddy. Leave me be," I said.

"You take that to him, nigger. Then, you better find me, or else," he said.

"You could tell me witch way, if you was in a hurry," I said.

"You gotta smart mouth nigger," he sneered. "Go that way," he motioned.

Chile at that point, I knew I had to do somethin'. Theodore be gonna use me bad iffin i didn't.

I went through to the next room and thar was Massa. He looked awful. He done called for a tea but thar he were, deep inta his cups. I put that tray down ona table beside him; the same one what had his bottle on it.

"Massa, I brung you this here tea. But, I swear, Sir, it aint what you be needin." I was way out on a limb an the bear was climbin fast. "Massa, I knows it early, but, don' you think a little rest would do you some good?" I took a big chance an let my hand rest on his arm.

Massa, turn his head slowly to me. He look like he ain't slep in couple days. "What you say?" he said.

Chile, I had to do something and fast. Theodore was a waitin to use me. And I was certain that aint gonna be no good for me. "Let me hep you, Massa. A little rest be the bestest thing for you."

He sighed a big sigh. Probably from he loss. "You may be right. I am powerful tired. What's you name child?" he asked.

"I'm Bessy, sir. I come to help in the house today. If you take a little rest, I knows you gonna feel better."

"Okay, Bessy. Give me a hand."

I hep that man up. He was heavy leanin that whiskey on me. I had a let him lead the way since I don't know the big house. We went through halls and doors and finally we walked into a big bedroom, all fancy and such. The bed were something you wouldn't believe chile. Big and high, with frills and lace and all the stuff that a man don't never mind.

"This is sure nice Massa," I said, "I be guessin your late wife done set this room."

"God, I miss that woman," says Massa. He tongue was a startin to betray the whiskey he drink. And then that man done start cryin. I aint seen everythin in this world; but, I aint never seen a growd man cry. Big ole tears jus pouring outin his eyes.

"You need some rest, Massa. It gonna be alright," I said.

"Unh" be all he say.

I lead him to the bed and steadied him while I pull down the spread and sheet. Then, I easy let him settle on the bed. I stood back an looked to him. He was dressed in the wrinkled clothes; looked like he aint changed in a couple days or more.

Massa was pretty much gone. He eyes be closed and he breath slow. I aint been in the big house for a full day an here I be. Well, what was I to do. I took his shoes off and then his socks. Couldn't leave him like that. I shook his arm.

"Massa," I whispered.

He were out.

Well chile, in for a penny... I unbuckled his belt an slid it out. Then I unbuttoned his britches and pulled them offun his legs. Next, I unbuttoned his shirt and worked it offin him. And thar he was, boxer shorts and that be all. Well now chile, you may aint seen everythin yet, bein free an all. But let me tell you, livin in a one room slave shack, thar ain't a single secret. So, when I saw his big ole pole pushin out his undies, I knew zakly what that was.

I looked behind and warnt nobody there. So, I reach out and put my hand on that thing o his. It war a big thing; and bout as hard as could be.

Now listen to me chile. This here be one of the portent parts. Theodorenwas a headed toward using me. And I didn't care none for that. So, I needed somethin to use agin him. Ifin you thin bout it you'll see. A slave girl of 12 aint got a thing to trade for nothin. So, I figured I'd try to get Massa on my side.

I took his thing outn his shorts, real slow. An he didn't move a bit, jus a little sigh. I'm a thinkin', Massa has to be bilt up a big want, since he woman be gone for six month. An I'd know how all that work, livin in a one room shack with my Momma.

So, now don't be lookin at me like that, I took a good hold o his thing and move my hand up and down. It was amazing to a girl to feel tha thing. It was hot with blood and the skin slide up and down with no work atall. Massa, he sigh real big. So, I thought I muss be doin good.

Well, I did that for a little while. Me goin slow and Massa, sighin and movin his hips a bit. I seed this drop on top his thing. I aint never seen that before. But, chile, I was in this an thar aint a way out. I touch my finger to that drop. You will see when you get older. That thar is slick as boiled okra. I smeared it around on his thing.

Massa was sure enjoyin this. He move his hips up and down like hepin me. He still seem to be out of it; but, I warnt sure. I put both my hands to work. I was really into this thing by then. My little titties were hard agin my dress and my panties were getting wet from that fire that done started there. Massa was a pushin agin my work on his thing, and moanin.

I was standin side his bed and strokin his thing, when Massa grunted out loud. Then, I aint never seen anything like it. He just erupted, like them fireworks I seen once. This white stuff shoots outin his thing. All over he chest and my hands.

And then my big surprise. Massa's eyes sprang open. He looked like he war lost. He saw his state, with that stuff all over him, and he slow like turned his gaze on me.

His voice warnt hard when he finally say, "What have you done, Child?"

"Massa, I hep you to bed and I see your need. I ain't mean nothing, Sir; cept I wanta hep you rest and feel better," I said in as smalla voice as I could make.

Chile, I recon somthin broke inside that man then. He just look at me; not mean or nothing. Just lookin, like tryin to figure out whats what.

Oh Chile, I be real tired now. Can you come back morrow for some more?

"Aw Grandy," I said. "This is just gittin good."

"It'll be good tomorrow too, Chile," she said.