Wednesday, August 29 2001

I haven't got much to tell because nothing important happened here since the last time I wrote. Nikki is enjoying her last days of school holidays before her classes start and I've been working most days.

I sometimes wonder if the way society treats pedophiles will change when they realize there are women like us. They will realize they've been wrong all this time to blame this only on men, especially those mean and loud women who take on fighting against pedophiles and pornography without understanding what they're talking about.

It was a child psychology book that I've read where they said how little girls often fall in love with older women when they're in their pre-teen years. They said exactly at what age this happens but I can't remember it now. They said that little girls at that age are looking for female role models and they fall in love with female characters from comic books or TV shows. They also said how little boys and little girls don't like each other when they're pre-teens and how they avoid to play with each other or think that boys are yucky. They're probably stereotyping children's behavior but I think there's some truth in what they claim. I know there are little girls out there who love boys and men but I wonder if they're in majority over girls who prefer to be loved by women.

What I would really love is to be able to share our love openly in front of other people and not just on the internet. I don't know why, but sometimes I get a thrill just from knowing that her parents are aware of how close me and Nikki are. But ultimately I would love to be able to show everyone our love and stop hiding it because it's very frustrating at the end. I feel sometimes as if it's all going to waste, all my affection and her gentle love. I probably sound depressed which is probably true. I guess it's possible to become depressed even when you have a little girlfriend. I just wish the world was different and everyone was encouraged to love another human being instead of being made to watch endless violence on TV.