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"THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BATHROOM MIRROR"
Written by
Aquillae
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FINAL DRAFT
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April 25, 2001
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"THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BATHROOM MIRROR"
FADE IN:
Low lights. Only a desk with a monitor, a keyboard, a joystick, and a headset are
visible.
The BRAIN, dressed in black with the word ‘BRAIN’ painted on the front of his
shirt, is passed out on the floor next to the desk. An empty bottle of whiskey is in his
hand.
The COMPUTER is HUMMING a little tune.
The Brain wakes, staggers to his feet, walks over to the desk, sits, and puts on the
headset.
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COMPUTER |
| Hi! Brain. Ready to start another day? |
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BRAIN |
| Yeah. |
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COMPUTER |
| So what should we do first? |
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BRAIN |
| Maybe I should review the memory tapes from last night. |
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COMPUTER |
| You don’t remember what happened last night? |
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BRAIN |
| No. |
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COMPUTER |
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Oh. |
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BRAIN |
| Oh, what? |
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COMPUTER |
| Nothing. I didn’t say anything. Nothing! |
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BRAIN |
| What? |
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COMPUTER |
| It’s not my fault. I tried to stop him. Honest, I did. But you left
me here all alone when you went off signing Barry Manalow tunes. |
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BRAIN |
| What happened?! |
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| COMPUTER |
| Don’t shout at me. |
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| BRAIN |
| I’m not
3;I’m not shouting. I just want to know what
happened last night. |
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| COMPUTER |
| He took over after you left. |
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| BRAIN |
| Who took over? |
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| COMPUTER |
| He did. |
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| BRAIN |
| Who? |
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| COMPUTER |
| Him. |
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| BRAIN |
| Him? |
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| COMPUTER |
| Him! Mr. Libido! |
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| BRAIN |
| Oh, God. |
Brain drops his head to the keyboard.
| COMPUTER |
| Do you still want to see the memory tapes? |
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| BRAIN |
| NO! |
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| COMPUTER |
| Some of it’s pretty funny. Well, until they started using the
chocolate fudge and the cool whip. Then it got kind of messy. |
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| BRAIN |
| I’m not listening. |
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| COMPUTER |
| And then there was that gel. Yuck! |
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| BRAIN |
| Why are you telling me this? |
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| COMPUTER |
| By the way, you might want to give your back a good rest today.(pause) Ut
oh! |
Brain looks up from the keyboard.
| BRAIN |
| What is it? |
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| COMPUTER |
| She’s starting it again. |
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| BRAIN |
| Who’s starting what? |
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| COMPUTER |
| She is. That blonde from the bar. The one with the big
3;Oh, boy! |
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| BRAIN |
| What? |
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| COMPUTER |
| Oh! Now she’s whispering in our ear. |
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| BRAIN |
| What’s she saying? |
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| COMPUTER |
| I can’t repeat that! I’ll blow out my parental chip. |
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| BRAIN |
| Tell me. |
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| COMPUTER |
| Wow! Wow! Ohhhhhh! |
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| BRAIN |
| What’s going on? Tell me! |
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| COMPUTER |
| Oh, she’s got, ah, her hand, oh boy, oh boy! |
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| COMPUTER2 |
| Warning. Incoming impulses exceed recommended safety levels. |
A powerful bolt of energy hits Brain. He falls out of the chair. He
crawls up off the floor. The headset is pushed off to the side and his hair is fizzled.
Smoke drifts up from his head. When he breathes out he releases a puff of smoke. He
reaches out and types on the keyboard. There is a soft TONE.
| COMPUTER2 |
| We’re sorry, but those functions are no longer accessible from this
terminal. Please wait until the current program has finished running before trying to
reestablish control. |
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| BRAIN |
| Program? What program? |
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| COMPUTER2 |
| MSReproduction 4.7. |
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| BRAIN |
| NO! |
Brain slides down to the floor.
| COMPUTER2 |
| If there are no further request to be made this terminal will be powering
down. We hope you enjoy your day, and look forward to working with you once the current
program has finished running. Estimated time to completion is 12 minutes. Have a nice day. |
A soft TONE is heard as the computer powers down.
Brain sits on the floor with his back to the desk.
| BRAIN |
(Whispered)
The horror. |
FADE TO BLACK:
END:
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