TNNB

The New Neighbor Boy

Chapters 19-22

Chapter Nineteen

(No, I didn't feel bad for a minute about what I said about Scott. I took a chance on him once, and I wasn't going to do it again. I figured if he got a one-way ticket to Arabia or wherever, he couldn't make trouble for me anymore. I know, I know 3; let the broken window thing go 3; Still, Scott could be perfectly happy on the other side of the world serving as a 'breed stallion' – or a eunuch slave boy. I didn't really care. I just hoped I wasn't in trouble for suggesting it!)

"Landen, I am worried about you," Dad told me, once I was clean inside and out, and we were headed up to bed. "Sunday night, you were a sobbing wreck. Now you're ready to sell your best friend off to a stranger, like he was some kind of thoroughbred racehorse?"

"Dad, I didn't mean to 3; I mean, it wasn't me trying to be dis 3; dis 3; mouthing off to you, you know?"

"'Disrespectful', son," Dad corrected me. "And that wasn't how I took it. You just surprised the hell out of me, boy!" He smiled at me. "And Mr. Anwar seems quite impressed with you. For a D/C student, you certainly do seem to see into things!"

Canyon and Jeffie both sighed hard, like they were relieved.

"Thank you, sir!" Geeez, Mom never said ANYTHING like that to me!

"And you almost gave your brother a coronary," Dad added.

"I'm sorry, Canyon," I apologized.

"No harm done, Brother!" He hugged me. Then he yawned. Heck, we were all beat. No nap, and all that work. I was already sore.

We all got pain pills and muscle pills that night. I got another tranquilizer. Dad said he should be taking one, too! I laughed, but I was sooooo tired.

But I didn't want to be alone.

That was the one thing that bugged me about Scott – he was down there all by himself, no one to touch him, no one to tell him it was going to be OK. Maybe I did feel a little bit bad about that part of it.

But not much.

"Landen, I want you to sleep in my bed again," Dad said. "I don't want you waking up all alone again. I'm sorry for that this morning."

It was like he KNEW it or something?

I looked at Canyon. He grinned and got into bed. Jeffie got a diaper out of the nightstand without being told. I figured since he had no head on his dick, a stopper wouldn't stay on him.

"You go with Father," Canyon told me, and we all hugged and kissed goodnight. "You've got twelve years you missed, you know!"

We got them down for the night, then Dad grabbed my hand. "I want you to see something before you go to sleep, Landen," he told me, and we went right instead of left. I got to thinking about the broken glass again when I shut the lights out. I knew why there was a big set of shutters on the inside of our bedroom window now. There was no glass in our room – the black shutter had kept it out. But our room only had one window. The Guest room was across the hall, and Dad's was on the other end. So what was the room down at the other end? There'd been two windows facing my old house when they'd moved in, and both were blacked out.

I found out when Dad unlocked the door and flipped a light switch.

It was another room, all black, identical to Canyon's room. There was the sealed window, two beds with straps, a nightstand, and two lights in the ceiling – white and red. But there was more.

My bike was cleaned up and standing in a corner. This room had shelves on the walls, and all my old stuff was there: my books, models, things I'd collected, even copies of pictures of me and Canyon – recent ones. There wasn't a closet, but my sandals, work boots, and a new pair of tennis shoes were sitting behind the door. Only the white slip-ons had stayed downstairs in case of busted glass.

"We're going to do this to your brother's room, too, son," Dad told me. "That way, if I have to go tell you to play in your room, you can. And you'll find all of your things are here. Nothing was lost in the fire. Nothing important."

"But 3; but Canyon doesn't have any things, does he?" I asked.

"He has a few keepsakes, packed away, but he should, I think, display them proudly. It's time he developed a sense of self, and you can help him do that. I did, after all. He needs to be more well-rounded, don't you think?"

"Yes, sir!" I looked at the beds. "Hey, we can have friends spend the night now! You won't have to share your bed!"

I guess that was a stupid thing to say. The Guest room was across the hall, and empty, like it always was. I yawned again, but thought of something.

"B-but Dad? I like sleeping in our old room?" No, this wasn't right. It was like this stuff belonged to someone else, and I liked the empty, black room we'd been sharing a lot better. That, and I'd heard 'go to your room' enough to last me a lifetime. I didn't think I could stand it coming from Dad.

But I didn't say anything, other than, "Sorry, sir. It's just funny is all."

Dad just smiled at me. "You can both choose one, trade off," Dad told me, "But for tonight, you sleep with me. I'm still worried about you, son. And I love you."

I hugged him. "I love you too, Dad." He picked me up and kissed me, and carried me back down to his room after I'd had a pee, as Canyon called it. He put the stopper back on me, too. I was so glad it wasn't a diaper.

"Take your plug out, son," he told me, after he'd put my blindfold on. "Just find the ring and pull, slow."

I did that, and he took it.

He guided me over to the bed, and when he laid me down, I was on top of him. I felt his dick going into me.

"Surprised?"

"Y-yes, sir!"

It took a little bit to get me situated, but when he did, we just laid still. It was driving me nuts, and my head was spinning. My pills were kicking in, and the last thing I remembered was the soft blanket being pulled over me and him telling me how good it was to have both of his sons again.

No headphones.

I held onto him tight.

I would still be holding on in the morning.

He was still hard and inside me in the morning when I woke up. It was the first thing I knew! If I'd got off, I didn't remember it. He must have, though, because when he kissed me good morning and lifted me off, I was kinda messy.

"Good thing you're not a girl, or I'd be a father again!" Dad laughed. "How do you feel, Landen?"

'Landen'? Yeah, that was my name now. I liked it.

"Good, Dad, yeah – pretty good."

"You slept like a baby all night long," he told me. "You feel like getting back to your routine today, before you get soft and wimpy again?"

"Yes, sir!"

We went and got Canyon and Jeffie up, and Jeffie's diaper was wet. He was ashamed of himself, but Dad told him that was what it was for. Me, I had to pee so bad I hurt. I wasn't hard, either.

"Well, don't you just look stupid and satisfied?" Canyon laughed at me, after him and Jeffie had their morning loving and we were sent for a shower.

"Canyon's jealous!" Jeffie laughed.

"I am!" Canyon nodded. "All these nights in Father's bed! I'm beginning to think he likes you better!"

I dropped my towel.

That wasn't what I wanted to hear at all. I didn't know what to say. Canyon must have saw the look on my face.

"Landen, I was only joking!" Canyon told me. "Father would never play favorites. What one gets, so does the other!"

I shivered a little.

Did Canyon know I had a better room?

"No, I don't play favorites," Dad said from the door. He had my plug in his hand, and motioned for me to bend over so he could replace it. He didn't plug my dick, either, but reminded me about diapers. I was embarrassed.

"Canyon, you've upset your brother," Dad told him.

"Yes, sir," Canyon just bent over automatically.

"No, Dad! It was me!" I held my hand up. "He was joking, and I didn't get it! It was my fault!"

"He shouldn't have teased you like that," Dad repeated.

My eyes started to sting. I couldn't stand it if he hit Canyon. "No, sir! Please! It wasn't like that!"

"You can spank me?" Jeffie offered.

Dad just sighed.

"I'm asking Dr. Kent about these mood swings of yours, Landen. It could be a drug reaction, or the shots you were on, washing out of your system. In the meantime, breakfast!" He decided, and everything was fine again.

Canyon put his arm around me and just smiled. "Twins," He reminded me.

Dad told him about the new room after breakfast. Canyon said it was 'just smashing', and that now we could have friends spend the night. Dad rolled his eyes.

"Guest room?" He asked.

"That's for guests, sir?" Canyon said.

"I give up," Dad groaned.

So it was back to our routine, except that the morning workout was different. Dad had boxing gloves, the kind that tied on, so you couldn't get out of them. He was coaching while Canyon and Jeffie sparred and I worked out. It wasn't like a match, either – it was like a real fight. I watched them while I did exercises, and it bothered me. It bothered me a lot. I didn't like seeing them hitting each other. I kept quiet about it, though. Joe wanted Jeffie to learn how to fight, and from what I saw at the mall, Canyon knew how. I figured they'd both have some bruises by bedtime.

"Did you know that boxing gloves were sometimes used at night, to prevent masturbation?" Dad asked me. I didn't know that! But with them on, there was no way you could jack off, that was for sure! It was funny watching Canyon and Jeffie trying to get out of them.

Lunch at noon, then our afternoon workout was cleaning up the yard. With the fence back up, we were safe and didn't have to wear anything but shoes. I had to go up and get my boots. We got our usual sun time, with the tape player, and more language practice. The pool was still kinda dirty, so since we couldn't swim, we cleaned everything up into a pile. By 4, I was ready for our nap. But the yard was clean again, right down to every bit of broken glass picked up. I was glad to get those boots off.

Canyon picked out a tape to watch at 6, and he told me it was a special one. I asked him what it was.

"Well, since you're wanting one too, Landen, I thought you should see the movie of my circumcision," Canyon told me.

"Ewww, is it bloody?" I asked. OK, I was curious, yeah. I wanted to see what he looked like before. Maybe even what he looked like with his balls.

"Well, what do you THINK?" Canyon laughed. "Of course there's blood! It's surgery, silly!"

It started with a smaller Canyon being strapped down to a frame-like table, and then getting shots in his dick to numb it. He did have balls, too, and not much different looking than mine. Then the doctor used a syringe to shoot some stuff into Canyon's pee-hole, and got a catheter out. He pushed the skin back a little to show the tip of his dick's head.

Then he started pushing it in. I got hard, but I still couldn't feel anything. I wouldn't have known if I hadn't looked down. I wondered if that was how Kim felt when he got excited? It was like nothing there to touch.

"I had to wear that bloody thing in me for a month!" Canyon cringed. "Pissed myself all the time for a week once it was out, but Father didn't want me up and moving until I was perfectly healed!" He told me.

Canyon had had a lot of skin on the end, like a sock over his dick. The doctor rolled it all back, put a clear tube down on it to hold it back, and that made the skin stretch tight. You could see the flap underneath. He tested Canyon with one of those spikey wheels, and when he couldn't feel it, he got the scalpel out.

I made it as far as the doctor slicing his frenulum off before I fainted.

Movie blood was one thing, but seeing my own brother having his dick cut on was something else!

I woke up with my nose burning and Dad laughing. Smelling salts.

"I take it you don't want to watch the rest, the castration video?" He asked.

I just shook my head.

"Make you change your mind, Landen?" Dad asked.

I looked at Canyon, then at Jeffie. "No, sir," I said. "It won't hurt when he cuts it off, right?"

"Hurts like hell when the shots wear off, though," Jeffie told me.

"Oh, don't be so wet, Jeffery," Canyon told him. "You've only got like an inch on Kim!"

They laughed about it.

"I had so many stitches, I looked like Frankenstein," Jeffie told me.

"Stop, please!" I said.

"Landen, you don't HAVE to do it," Dad reminded me.

"But I WANT to do it, sir!" I told him. "I 3; I feel 3; different."

I did feel different. I felt left out.

"I can call Dr. Kent, anytime, son," Dad said.

I thought about it.

I was numb already, and I didn't have to watch.

"Can he do it JUST like Canyon's?" I asked.

Dad nodded.

"Does he have to put a catheter in me?"

Dad shook his head. "Not unless you want one?"

"NO, SIR!"

"'s'not so bad," Jeffie told me.

"NO!"

They laughed.

So did I.

"Dad?"

"Son?"

"Call him, please."

OK, I was shaking and starting to sweat. I'd just asked to have my dick remodeled, you know! I knew I was going to bleed, it was going to hurt when the shots wore off, but when I healed up, I'd look like Canyon.

And Dad would be happy.

I just hoped I didn't puke.

"You see, if you start off with that, Landen," Dad said, "You can still exercise some. Just nothing that puts any pressure on your penis."

"And no swimming until it's healed," Canyon added.

I hadn't thought about that – but it was too late then.

Dad made the call, and Dr. Kent came right over. I was surprised to see Mr. Anwar with him.

"I came along to offer advice," he smiled at me, and gave me a wrapped present. He looked around. "No celebration? No party?"

"Again?" Dad asked. "We just had one?"

"It is a custom to bring gifts for the boy, and since you don't remember it when you were a baby, Landen, this counts!" Mr. Anwar said. "Perhaps I can make a special dinner, since your father is an uncouth barbarian?" They both laughed at that.

"Thank you, sir!" I hugged him, when he offered.

"And you decided this, for yourself, Landen?" He asked. I nodded. "Very, very good. I am proud!" I didn't know what to say.

"Well, while I'm here, we can kill two birds with one stone. Now that he's all soft and loose, our young man downstairs has a lot of skin that can come off," Dr. Kent said.

Mr. Anwar rolled his eyes and nodded. "Much! You have to save the gift until after the surgery, though," he told me.

So that was it.

I was about to get 'trimmed.'

We went down to the basement, and Doc suggested the gurney. Dad helped me up, and I was strapped down to it – just like Scott had been. I couldn't move. Mr. Anwar put a pillow under my head – a big one, so I could watch. Then he got out a movie camera.

'Great,' I thought. But I didn't say a thing. It wasn't like the whole world would see it, and Dad a film of Canyon's. Equal treatment?

Dad took a picture.

The red AF light was pretty, too, so bright 3; I smiled. I liked having my picture taken. Mom never did. We all said 'cheese'!

Doc tested me with the wheel, and decided on another shot to be safe. Then he went in to check on Scott. He must have ungagged him.

"Hurts," Scott was moaning.

"Do you want the doctor to fix it, Jimmie?" He was asking.

"Yesssss, hurtsssss," Scott cried. I looked at Dad.

"He only thinks it hurts, son," Dad told me. "As far as he's concerned, he'll do anything to make it stop hurting now."

I wondered how they could have convinced Scott to agree to anything, but they had. Doctor Kent came back in to see to me. He had gloves and a mask on, and put towels over me. Just my bits were sticking out. Then he washed me down, down there, in brown stuff that smelled.

He started by pulling back all the skin he could, then securing it with a plastic tube. Dad had a little sponge from his kit, and the doctor got out a scalpel. Canyon held my hand. Jeffie held my other one.

"It's going to be fine, Brother," Canyon told me. "And you'll love how it looks."

"Like yours," I said to Canyon, and he nodded. "Twins, remember?"

I shivered.

The doctor touched the scalpel to my little tab, and started slicing it back. Dad sponged, and the frenulum-thing came of pretty quick. It left a bleeding raw spot, but the doctor put something on it and then got out his sewing stuff. I didn't faint, I didn't puke. I was just fascinated – I was watching him cut skin off of my dick!

"Very nice," Mr. Anwar said.

"Glad you approve," Doctor Kent snorted. "I'm just the doctor, what do I know?"

It didn't take long, or I didn't think it did, for Dr. Kent to have my cut stitched and cleaned up. He held up a little mirror so I could see it better.

I was starting to swell up a little, but the tab was gone. It was smooth under my dick's head – just like my brother's. Just some stitches that looked funny. He put a little bandage over that part.

Then he started pulling skin from the back up over the tube. I was surprised how much he got on it, when he pulled out a metal 'thing' and locked that onto it. It had a cap on the end that fit the tip of my dick, and it matched up with the tube, locking it all in place. He tightened it.

"No going back now, Landen," He told me. "The skin is crushed."

I was shaking again. Good thing I was strapped in tight.

Then he started cutting around my dick in a circle.

I was thinking, 'What if he slips? What if it comes loose? What if I end up with a 1" [2½ cm] stub like Jeffie?' – what if, what if, what if 3; ?

I think I fainted then.

When I got the smelly salts again, I was loose. My little dick was wrapped up in a white bandage, but Dad had a Polaroid of it with the stitches in. Mr. Anwar was still filming with all the bright lights on. They let me loose.

The first thing that came to me was, 'It's still there!' THAT was a relief. I checked to see if I still had balls.

They were still there, too.

'Good, no misunderstandings!' I thought. That kinda scared me, even though I thought it was a good idea and Canyon was and liked it. I don't know what I would have done if I'd woke up and they'd been gone!

Dad and Dr. Kent gave each other a look.

"Someday, but not today, then," Canyon nodded at them. I wondered if he meant me getting castrated?

Yeah, it scared me.

I thought I wanted to do it.

But I was still scared. Maybe I did need time to think about it?

"Should'a' lost the end," Jeffie sighed, but he grinned at me. I smiled back at him and shook my head.

"Well, it's close to dinnertime," Canyon checked his watch. "Father, Landen needs a watch, you know."

"Do you want to see what came off?" Dr. Kent asked me, and he showed me anyway before I could say 'no'.

That was a LOT of skin!

Then he went in to see to Scott.

Long story short – Scott got the same thing. He might have agreed to it, but he was asleep when Dr. Kent started on him. Mr. Anwar seemed pleased with that, too.

I had to wonder, though, if Scott was drugged, or hypnotized, did his agreeing count? I wasn't even sure why I'd wanted it so bad just then, but, I got through it with only fainting and no puking.

That was one thing down – and Dad and Canyon were really proud of me, too. I liked that.

Dad had helped me down, but he carried me up the stairs. I didn't feel like eating, but I didn't wanna puke either. I was really kinda hungry when the food was done. I don't know what it was, but Mr. Anwar had made something with beef tips that was so good that we cleaned it up. We even got some whipped cream on fruit for dessert.

My present was a white outfit, and a small book about circumcision. Mr. Anwar said I could wear the outfit the next time we had a field trip. I tried it on for him, and Dad took pictures. There was even a little hat and shoes like slippers.

"A little Arabian Prince," Mr. Anwar told me, and he kissed my cheek, even! "This is so much better!"

"Sir, did you bring one for Sco 3;, I mean, for Jimmie, too?"

I guess if they were calling him that, I should to. Oh, and his middle name was 'James' – and he hated it. You never called him 'Jimmy'.

"I did, and he can have it when he feels better!" Mr. Anwar smiled. "But for now, I think it is past your bedtime, boys?"

"It is," Dad agreed, "And given Landen's condition, I think he gets a sponge bath and then right to bed!"

"Don't let the covers rub him, and lay him on his back!" Dr. Kent said.

My cleaning up and out that night was fast, short, and gentle. Dad was really careful, and didn't even get my bandages wet.

He put me in my own bed, not my new one, and asked Canyon to come sleep with him. Mr. Anwar had this little thing to put over my middle to keep the blanket from rubbing me, too. It was like a little tent frame.

I wasn't in any pain, and Dad gave me some pills before laying me back to strap me in. I went to sleep, and I do remember having a dream that night.

I dreamed I was being held, and told by everyone – even strangers – how proud they were of me, and how much they loved me.

It was one of those dreams you hate to wake up from.

The rest of the week went by, and not much happened. I got my bandages changed twice a day, and some feeling started coming back by Thursday. When it did, it hurt, too! I couldn't do anything in workouts that might tear my stitches, but the thigh and waist straps on the exercise benches prevented that. I could still do weights, but I couldn't go swimming once the pool cleared up.

I figured that Dad had to be taking care of Scott – or Jimmie, like they called him now – when he wasn't with us. I wasn't sure if you could live off an IV line for more than week, so they had to be giving him something he could swallow. I didn't know, and I didn't ask. All I knew was he couldn't move, he wasn't ever with it when we were down there, and the lights were almost always flashing at him.

I didn't ask about the thing they put on his head, either – that thing that made the lights go dim and made him have convulsions or something. I didn't wanna know.

All I cared about was he couldn't squeal on us again.

Canyon and Jeffie kept having fighting lessons in workout time, too. I got used to it, since Canyon wasn't really trying to hurt him. Jeffie even got a couple good shots in on Canyon, and he had a fit lip on Wednesday night! Jeffie went hysterical, but Canyon just told him how good he was doing and blew it off.

Joe would come by at night on his way in to work, and he liked my circumcision too. We saw a lot of Mr. Anwar, too, and even went to dinner at a really fancy restaurant one night. He had me wear my new white outfit, and I got a lot of weird looks. Some couple that must have been from Mr. Anwar's country even came up and hugged me, and gave me $5! Canyon had had his suit altered a couple times, the one Mr. Anwar had given him when he was 9. The difference was, Canyon had got castrated at the same time, too. Mr. Anwar didn't correct them, but talked to them for a while in their language.

We saw a lot of Bob and Bobbie, too, since all the windows had to be replaced. Bob had got the contract for fixing up the Smiths' place, too. The only problem there was that Mrs. Smith, with all her grandkids living halfway across the country, decided that she was going to 'adopt' Jeffie and Canyon (and me, since she thought we were the same boy!).

Dad just had fits.

OK, he didn't get mean, or threaten to kill her or anything. He'd just throw his hands up and talk to himself a lot when the subject of Mrs. Smith came up. Our fridge was beginning to fill up with sweet stuff, too.

"Doesn't she know what saccharine is?" Dad would just gripe.

"Or honey, Father," Canyon would add.

"I won't have fat boys!" Dad would just sputter.

"She says we're too skinny, Dad," I told him.

And I was getting there. I'd lost a lot of weight, and I was beginning to show some muscles. Joe said I was getting wiry, but firm. A lot of the sweets went home with him, Bob, and Dr. Kent! Dad even took a box of it to Mr. Thomas & Mr. Fred at the law office, and we got to go.

"See if they can fatten up Ty," Dad mumbled, while he looked at some papers. "Oh, this is just smashing!" He yelled, which made us all jump.

"Told you I could do it, Martin," Mr. Fred said.

"Father?" Canyon asked. "Whatever is the matter?"

"Your brother is now an official, naturalized, British-American!" Dad smiled at me.

Come to think of it, I was born there? I never thought about it before.

He showed my new birth certificate, with my new name on it. Same birthday, and just like Canyon's. But they both said 'Mother Unknown'.

"Now if we can just fix that bloody accent of his," Canyon smiled at me.

The worst thing about waiting to heal up, besides not being able to go swimming, was that I wasn't allowed to fool around. Not even a little. I had a lot of the feeling back in my crotch, but I still hurt. It was one of Dad's orders, though, and I didn't argue.

Bob found time that week to put up some shelves in our room – well, Canyon's room. He made the two rooms look identical, and Dad was glad to see Canyon go and find something of his to put on the shelf. It was a first for him.

"Dust-catchers and what-nots," he called them.

He had a porcelain figurine packed in a little box, and he put it on the top shelf very carefully. It was a naked boy with dark red hair, but I figured it was supposed to be an angel. How many boys had wings? The little statue only had a small bump between his legs, too. He even had a halo.

"He reminds me awfully of Jeffie," Canyon said.

Jeffie liked it. "I think he looks like you!"

The little figurine DID look like Canyon. Like us. Freckles and all.

"I had a friend in London who made these things," Dad told us. "He was a genius. Could make anything at all that you wanted, just by looking at a picture." He looked at me. "Landen, can you draw, or sing, or anything like that? Terribly short-sighted of me not to ask before?"

"I 3; I dunno, sir," I told him. "I used to get B's in art class?"

"Canyon, I think you should put some of your sketch pads, and all of your supplies on the shelf. We've neglected your art studies lately, but we'll pick back up with that in the winter. I hear it's just beastly around here in January?"

"It's a bitch, sometimes, sir," I said. Then I covered my mouth.

Dad laughed.

We had a big dinner on Saturday night. Nothing like the party last week, but Mr. Anwar came over. So did Dr. Kent and Henry. Bob and Joe came, and I was really surprised to find out that Bobbie and Mickey were taking Kim and Ty out to a movie over in Brownstown. (It was an hour away on the highway.)

"Of course we'll hear everything they say," Bob reminded me, and I remembered that our collars had bugs in them. I was still worried that I might have a spanking coming from some of the things that Dad would have heard me say. Heck, he knew everything I'd did since I got it put on me.

"Landen, why didn't you ever try to remove it?" Dad asked me.

I hadn't thought about it. I didn't think I could, since the first one didn't have a clasp. "You saw how I cut it that one day?"

I didn't know what to say. I almost started crying.

"These mood swings should be stabilizing by now," Dr. Kent said.

"Sir, you let them go out alone?" Canyon asked, when he was nodded at. I was learning those signals, too.

"They've got to learn things," Dr. Kent said, and Bob agreed. "They'll be off to college soon, and they have to have some latitude. We can't take care of them forever, you know."

Dad looked sad about that.

"They grow up so fast," he sighed. "It won't be long before there's little ones running around calling me 'Grandfather,'" he laughed.

"Only if I adopt," Canyon grinned at him.

Dad hugged him. "That IS the plan, son."

That made me think about getting castrated again. If I was, I'd never be able to have kids either. But then again, I didn't like girls. I got hard and 'turned on' watching the boys do it on the pornos. Margaret got on my nerves to no end. I couldn't imagine being married to her!

"That bothers you, doesn't it, Landen?" Dad asked me.

How did he always know that stuff?

"Yes, sir."

"Why? Haven't we said already that there are so many boys out there who need good homes?" Dad told me.

I nodded. "Yes, sir."

"Then don't let that sway your decision," Dad said. "It doesn't matter to me if any children you end up with are biological or not. I don't remember my own real father that well, and the man who took me in – for all intents and purposes – IS my father. Well, he WAS. He loved me, he cared for me, and that is ALL that matters. Whatever YOU decide will be fine by me."

I guess I lost it then.

Dad was holding me, touching me, telling me it was OK and to just get it out. Dr. Kent was saying something about it only being a week, and how messed up I had to be.

"Just care for him, Martin," Someone said. "That's all he really needs."

It wasn't all that that was bothering me.

What I was worried about was things like 'What if I screw up, and Dad doesn't want me anymore? Where do I go? What if he gets mad and sells me off to someone like Mr. Anwar?'

That, and the older boys were out 'practicing' or something. It made me think about what I'd do when I grew up, since I still didn't think I was smart enough to go to college. What was I supposed to do for a job? What if I had a boy, but I wasn't a good dad? Bobbie was going to be a contractor, Mickey was going to medical school, but what about me? I wasn't good at anything.

One thing I thought about made me feel better, when Dad decided it was time for me to get a bath and go to bed: I had him to take care of me.

Scott didn't have anybody now.

Served him right.

Mr. Anwar solved that problem for us, though, once we got ready to go downstairs. I guess he was feeling left out, too. Jeffie was all clingy with his daddy, and he had to go to work. Jeffie didn't want him to leave. Henry wasn't saying much, but he never did. I was getting my clean-out when Mr. Anwar told Dad, "Martin, I will solve this problem for you. I am not burdened by the moral problems that you seem to have, and I will take the boy as originally agreed. I will have to consider Landen's advice, once I have the boy safely home with me."

I looked at him, scared that I was in trouble.

"Martin, this boy is a genius, and has given me MUCH to consider!" Mr. Anwar smiled.

"I'll start working on getting him prepped for transport," Dr. Kent said.

I guess that was the end of the Scott problem.

Like I said, I hope he wasn't allergic to sand or camels.

But something clicked in my head – I had an idea of what Dad did for a living now: "A quarter a pop." – He was going to SELL Scott to Mr. Anwar!

Chapter Twenty

It made sense, if you think about it – it was all right in front of me. Mr. Thomas had said that Ty was going to be worth every penny. Dad said he making 'a quarter a pop'. Mr. Anwar had wrote him a check. Dad didn't work a real job like the rest of his friends. He was always home with us. His money had to come from somewhere, right? I mean, heck, there was a Ferrari in the garage 3; and something had come up that put off Scott leaving.

All I know is I was put to bed. Dad changed my bandages, and figured Dr. Kent would take the stitches out soon. The swelling was down, mostly, and my dick sure looked different. Jeffie was right – it reminded me of Frankenstein. That got my mind off the other stuff, but everyone else was getting ready to go home when I finally got settled down. I was embarrassed again, but they all told me it was OK.

The only thing was that Dr. Kent asked if Henry could spend the night.

What were we, a daycare center?

Then again, they were going to do something with Scott, and I figured Henry would need something to do. Dad decided I could wait to try out my new bed in my new room, so Jeffie and Henry got put to bed in there.

Dad knew I was upset about something, and I figured I better tell him before he found out and I got in trouble for it. He guessed kinda right – it was about Scott, but it was about me, too.

"Dad?"

"Yes, son?"

"Mr. Anwar's going to take Scott home with him to Arabia, ain't he?"

"'Isn't he'," Dad said, "And yes, he is. JIMMIE will be very happy with him. Mr. Anwar spoils all his boys, almost as badly as he spoils his own biological children."

"He has KIDS?" I was surprised. I mean, like I said, out of every one of Dad's friends, only he had ever had kids, that I knew about. Or even looked at girls.

"Well of course he does!" Dad told me, while Canyon just sat on the edge of his bed listening. "He has 182 wives!"

"18, sir," Canyon reminded him, laughing. "I think he has, what, a dozen sons, Father?"

"Something like that," Dad nodded. "Now, Landen, what's bothering you? Tell Daddy all about it."

I just came right out and said it. I had to know.

"Mr. Anwar wanted to buy ME, didn't he, sir?" I asked.

Dad looked at Canyon.

"Yes, he did, son," Dad told me. "And I refused." He rubbed his head, like he was getting a headache. "You figured that out, too?"

I nodded. I was scared and shaking again. I knew I probably shouldn't ask, but I HAD to know.

"Landen, you MUST learn to trust me, completely, and not get yourself so worked up about things that do not concern you," he told me. "Scott – Jimmie – if you will, is a huge threat. We can't be sure what he'll say or do, or how he'll even BE when he's fully conscious again." He stopped and hugged me. "You don't have a thing to worry about son, and I know what else you're thinking."

I looked at him. Of course he knew. He always did.

"You're wondering how it took me twelve years to find you, and even if I AM your father? You're wondering about the story of your mother and I, even though you've seen the yearbook?"

I nodded. I had to. It was true. I thought about saying 'no', but I couldn't.

Dad sighed. Canyon came to sit by me and put his arm around me.

"It wasn't easy tracking her down, son," Dad explained it, "She gave you her name, of course, not mine. But in all honesty, I did NOT know if you were the right boy, or if she was the RIGHT 'Lois'. I had to use all sorts of channels to find her, but since her specialty was pharmacology, that helped. And to think, she came HERE?" Dad looked around. "And since we were moving anyway, we decided to try and find you. It was really out of curiosity, you see. I always wondered how my other son had turned out. In fact, until Dr. Kent did your blood tests, we weren't even 100% certain that you were the right boy."

"Wh-what if I wasn't?" I had to ask. "Would you have still, you know 3; ?" I looked at Canyon. "Invited me over, and 3; and 3; ?" I couldn't say it. I wanted to say 'kept me.'

"I always like to get to know my neighbors, Landen," Dad said, "Well, maybe not Mrs. Smith!" He laughed, "And I can tell you this – even if you hadn't been my long-lost son, Canyon's twin, I would not have changed a thing. Canyon would still have invited you over, and then he would have taken it from there. But any boy being treated as badly as you were? Yes, son, I would have made arrangements to keep you. There is no excuse for treating a boy like you were being treated. I would have kept you, and found you a new home."

He looked mad. And he wasn't done.

"Lois refused all my offers once she found out she was pregnant, Landen. I finally had to resort to offering her money, just to keep her from aborting the both of you. I offered to take you both, and even now, I have no idea why she wanted to keep one of you. I just wish she'd taken my offer, son. Your life would have been so different."

At least that much was true, then, if the pictures weren't enough – he really was my Dad. That was a relief to know.

If she hadn't kept ME, I'd already be just like Canyon, I knew – circumcised, castrated, smart 3; and having sex with men since I was 3; how old?

I didn't know.

But I knew my life was different – now. Twelve years later, and it was really different!

"So how come she never acted like she even KNEW you, when you moved in?" I asked him.

"I have no idea, son. But I have all the documents, if you'd like to see them?" He asked.

"No, no, that's OK," I mumbled. Trust.

I had to trust him.

"You're still upset over the fire, I know," Dad said, "And you have every right to be. I hardly remember my mother, Landen, but I do remember I cried when she was gone. I was very little, you see. It has to be hard for a boy to lose his mum."

I couldn't ask about Bob and the gas line. I just couldn't.

But there was one more thing I had to know.

"D-Dad? What did they find in the fire? The paper says Joe said there wasn't much left of me?"

"You remember that ceramics artist I told you about? The one who made Canyon's angel?" I nodded. "Some animal bone, some ceramic, a few fillings from one of Dr. Kent's friends, and viola! Instant fake-Benny-skull! And of course, Joe made sure that they didn't look at it TOO closely!" Dad laughed.

"Oh!"

"It was genius, actually!" Canyon laughed. "And you're legally 'Landen Jacin Poore' now!"

"Just as you should have been twelve years ago," Dad sighed, and kissed me. He shook his finger at me. "Never, EVER have a one-night fling with a woman!" He warned us.

"I don't think I have to worry, Father!" Canyon grinned. "I'm not much good to a girl, now, am I?"

"Only if you decide on the shots later, son," Dad told him. "That much is totally up to you. Just as it is for you, Landen."

"I won't get them pregnant, though!" Canyon laughed.

How could he laugh about that? He was a eunuch; he couldn't have kids. What if he wanted kids later, and not adopted ones?

3; or not ones he'd 3; taken 3; ?

Would Canyon and me grow up, and do the same thing? 'Rescue' abused boys?

"Dad?" I asked.

"Yes?"

"If 3; if I wasn't your son, if you picked the wrong boy, would you have sold ME to Mr. Anwar? That's your job, isn't it? Finding boys to trade?"

There, I'd said it.

Come what might, I'd said it.

I had to know.

Him being quiet and thinking was awful.

I figured I wouldn't have a butt left once he got done with me now.

"He was right, you ARE a genius," Dad sighed again. "Yes, son, if you had just been some other boy, and not Canyon's brother, it would be you heading for Arabia in a few days, and not Jimmie."

My stomach rolled over. I thought I was going to puke.

"But you can thank your brother," Dad added, "He seemed to know right from the start who you were. He sensed it, I'm sure. After all, you spent nine months together in the same womb!"

I guess it was Canyon's turn to cry then. That news upset him as much as it did me, I think.

But all this time, CANYON wasn't sure? Was that it? Or was I imagining it?

"I KNEW it was you, Landen! I just knew when I pulled you over the fence that first day! And even if I'd been wrong, well, you'd still be better off, what?" He was crying. "And I just love having new playmates! You can't imagine how excited I was to find out you were really, REALLY my brother!"

I didn't get it. This was upsetting him more than me, and I'd just found out that my long-lost dad was a 'boy-trader'. That was how he made his living – kidnapping boys and selling them.

But sure not for a quarter.

I figured it was $250,000 – a quarter-million – each.

I mean, SHIT! What if he got caught? Now wonder we had to get rid of Scott!

And I remembered Canyon's story about the boy in England, the one they hadn't grabbed in time. The one who'd got shot. I thought about Tyrone. Still, Scott didn't have it that bad at home.

Scott was the problem.

But Mr. Anwar was going to solve it for us.

With Mr. Anwar's help, Dad wouldn't have to do something he didn't want to do.

"You remember this, and remember it well, son," Dad told me in that 'ordering voice', and we both sat up when he did. Canyon was still sniffling, and hanging onto me like I was going to fall off the bed or something. "I have NEVER, and WILL never, take a boy who would not be better off. We took an awful chance on your friend Scott, because YOU thought we could trust him. And what did he do? He called your mother. That is the first rule – never take a boy who won't be better off. The second is this – if an error is made, correct it at once – by any means necessary!"

"S-Scott was m-my fault," I was crying again.

"In a way, yes," Dad nodded, "But in a way, no. I trusted in you, son. You were wrong. But just as Canyon trusted in you, at first, HE could have been wrong. And then where would we be?"

"Sh-shipping me to Arabia in a box?" I sniffled.

"Right," Dad said in that flat voice he used when he talked about Mrs. Smith and her desserts.

"That is precisely why you were observed for almost two months, Landen. Canyon can be quite the little sneak when he has to be." Dad tapped my collar. "And these little bugs are marvelous things! They fit almost anywhere!"

"B-but, how?" I asked, more interested than upset now. "No one saw you? Canyon never came out?"

"Canyon, open the window," Dad told him, "It's unlocked so Bob can replace it tomorrow."

Canyon pulled the shutters open. The glass had fell out, and when he did, I could still smell scrochy-ness.

"Think of where your window used to be," Dad told me. "Got it?" I nodded. "Hold on," he said, and went to his room. He came back with a little polished rock, one of those decoration things. He gave it to Canyon.

He threw it.

Right into where my window would have been.

"Good thing you didn't have screens, huh?" Dad asked.

Come to think of it, mom always did get mad if I opened my window.

"That, and your back door to the utility room doesn't always lock right," Canyon said.

"You were IN the house?" I gasped.

"'course I was! I had to check it out, now, didn't I?" Canyon smiled. "I bet you thought it was Kitty all the while?" He laughed. "I got to wear this black ninja costume, too!"

I had to say yes. I caught Kitty in the kitchen one night when I didn't get the patio door shut right. Good thing Mom never knew that!

"Time for bed," Dad told us, and he put my little blanket-tent on me and strapped me in. He kissed me goodnight, and I wanted to hug him again, hang onto him – but I couldn't. "I think you can sleep in here tonight. Daddy has things to work on. I love you, son," he told me.

"I love you, too, Dad," I said.

And I did.

For as weird as everything was, where things were going, I loved him.

"Landen, know this," Dad told me. "Even if you hadn't been my son, we'd still have taken you after all that research. But," he paused, and put his hand on my chest, "I think I would have been very, very hesitant to have let you go again!"

"'I' would have said no," Canyon told me, when he kissed me goodnight.

Then he put the headphones on me. Dad got him into bed, and when he closed the door, the lights came on. They flashed, and I was so glad it wasn't dark. I was back in my bed, but I didn't want to be alone. I wanted to at least look over at my brother, but the light was so pretty 3;

Then the music started. One of my new records.

Not much else happened that week until Mr. Anwar came back with Dr. Kent. I got my stitches out, and I had some feeling back by then. I didn't like that, either – have stitches taken out of my dick! It was 3; weird. I could feel them coming out, and I got hard. When I did, the skin was so tight I thought it would tear open! It was so smooth and made my dickhead look bigger!

But my dick was healing up really good, Dr. Kent said, and he said I could go swimming again. I wasn't sure what day it was, but I decided not to ask why they'd waited to get Scott shipped off. I'd asked enough questions already. I was afraid to push it. So it was back to the routine, but I wasn't into self-defense lessons yet. Dad didn't wanna risk me messing up my healing, or get hit in the balls or something.

"Not that I have to worry about THAT!" Canyon would just laugh. The way he kidded about it, it was like being castrated was no big deal.

Jeffie went home for four days that week, since Joe was on a 4-on, 4-off schedule. Henry spent a few more nights, but I never got much out of him. I didn't ask him a lot, but he just said that him and his folks had been in a shelter for a while, and one day, they were gone and he was still there. He got sick, and Dr. Kent had come to see him.

"They just left me," Henry told me. "Then we moved here. I had to go to the hospital, and then Daddy – Dr. Kent – took me home from there."

Heck, Henry was so quiet it was easy to forget he was even around. He worked out just as hard as we did, though, and when I finally got permission to mess around, he did too.

"Do NOT touch your penis!" Dad warned me. "If you tear anything, it'll be a month with bandages and a catheter!" He warned me.

I got off with the dildo that night, and I almost passed out, I got so worked up! I was so hard, I thought if I was gonna tear, but I didn't.

OK, yeah, I missed it. I might have been on drugs, not in puberty like Scott was, but I was still wanting to do it so bad it was making me nuts!

And I still had no idea what the doctor and Mr. Anwar were up to, but I thought he'd want to get back home before long. I kinda figured it out when they came upstairs, talking about it, one night when we'd just got up from our nap.

"What Landen said WAS genius," Mr. Anwar was saying, "And I never would have thought of it! Kent, if this works like that baby on the news, with it frozen? And how long will it be good? I could have it both ways, then!"

"Well, it's expensive, not that YOU care 3; OH!" Dr. Kent shut up then, "Is it past 6 already?"

We all three nodded at him.

I saw that Mr. Anwar had a hard case of some kind, and it was steaming. He told us goodnight really fast, and left.

Dad came up next, and I just about shit myself when I saw that he was carrying Scott!

"Boys, Jimmie is finally awake," Dad told us, nodding at Canyon and Henry, who went in the kitchen. "He's going to watch some TV, have something to eat with us at dinner, and try and move around some. Aren't you, Jimmie?"

Scott just looked at us. His eyes were glassy. He was naked, and there was a bag strapped to his leg hooked to his catheter.

He still had all his stuff, except that his dick – still bigger than mine – looked about the same. He was healing up good, too. He had a big collar around his neck, and it looked like a black thing they put on you after a wreck so you couldn't move your head. There were pale red marks on his forehead, too, between his eyes and ears.

"Say hello, Jimmie," Dad told him, when he put him down on the mat.

"Hello," Scott said.

"S-Jimmie?" I asked him.

"Who 3; who'r yooo?" He asked me.

Dad shook his head at me.

"Your friend," I said. "Jason. Jay-son?" I said it slow, and Dad nodded. Fast thinking. I didn't think he wanted me to say my name or Canyon's.

"I 3; I hurt my head," Scott said, like it was funny.

"It's OK," I told him. "Doctor will fix it."

"Yeah," he nodded. "I'm hungry."

I didn't think Scott had a clue what was going on. I don't know what they'd done to him, or if it was drugs, but he was just out of it.

"Jimmie?"

"Yeah?"

"You wanna watch TV?"

Dad was nodding. I picked up the remote, big and chunky like it was, and turned the TV on. Scott stared at the red LED on it. Dad came and put a tape in the VCR.

It was a porno.

One of the older boy and younger eunuch ones.

Scott just stared at it.

"Look'it dat boy!" He pointed, but his hand was shaky.

"What?" I asked him.

"He's got no balls!" Scott grinned. "You got balls?"

"Yeah."

Scott watched the tape for an hour. It got me hard, but it came and went. I was squirming on my plug when it was over, and I saw that Scott was hard, too. He never touched it, either.

And he didn't say a thing about the movie. He just watched it and hardly even blinked.

"Wha's yur name?" He asked me again.

"Jay-son."

"Did you know B-Ben, my friend?" Scott asked. I shook my head. "I 3; I think he died. He said," he pointed at dad, "his house burned?"

Dad nodded.

"It did, Jimmie. I'm sorry."

Dad gave me the newspaper to show him, but it had been clipped. There was nothing about Scott being kidnapped I it.

Scott started to cry. "Ben died," he got it out after a while. I hugged him and told him he was lucky it wasn't him. He just cried.

When he quit, blew his nose and Dad wiped his face with a wet dishtowel, he said, "I wuz in de'hos-pi-tell for a long time. You know?"

"Yeah?"

Scott nodded. "Car hit us." He started crying again. Dad came and told me to go in the kitchen with Canyon. I saw some light out the corner of my eye, and I looked away. I knew what he was doing. There was a red strobe light on. I looked at Canyon.

"He's just calmin' him down," Canyon said.

Henry was setting the table and didn't say a thing.

Dad was helping Scott walk in, and got him sat down. He was pretty weak, but he'd been in bed for like two weeks now, I think. I didn't even know what day it was, but it had to be close to July, I think? Every now and then I'd hear firecrackers outside.

"I'm hungry," Scott said it again. He looked at Canyon. Dad nodded at the door. I went in the living room and peeked in. "Who'r you?" He asked Henry.

Scott didn't know him, I thought, so Henry said hi.

"Can I go home?" Scott was asking.

Canyon sneaked my plate in for me, then went back to the table. Scott sure was hungry!

"You're lucky to find a new family at your age, Jimmie," Dad told him. "Most people want babies, or little kids. You're very lucky that you're being placed in care so soon. You get to go where it's always summer, sunshine, plenty to do, outside a lot. And no cars running all over. Won't that be nice?"

Scott grinned. "Yeah!"

Man, what had they done – took part of his brain out? This wasn't Scott at ALL!

"My dick hurts," he mumbled. "I'm sorry."

"The doctor will fix it," Dad told him.

"My balls hurt too," Scott said.

"He can fix that, too, if you like, Jimmie?"

"OK." Scott nodded

Canyon slipped in and I went to the table. I got a look at Scott's bits. He was a little pink around where they hooked onto his body, and there was like a little bit of sunburn around the tip behind his dickhead.

"Jimmie, does it hurt to get hard?" Dad asked.

Scott nodded. But he kept eating.

"Butt feels funny," he said. "Can I go home now?"

"Tomorrow," Dad told him. "Once you get a bath, get some exercise, and move around some. When you wake up, you'll be at your new home. Won't that be nice?"

"Yeah," Scott smiled.

Dr. Kent came back that night, and Scott was glad to see him. He kept asking if he could go home, and asking about me.

About Ben.

He asked Dr. Kent if I died, and he cried again. We never let him see us together, me and Canyon, and he kept calling me "Jason," finally. I only had to tell him like six times.

We got cleaned out, as usual, and it was nice to have a hot bath again. No bandages, no being careful. I just couldn't play with it, and I wanted to touch it so bad, see what it felt like. Dad said no.

That or a spanking.

I didn't touch it!

Scott didn't mind being cleaned up either, and he was yawning when Dr. Kent plugged him and told him it was time for bed. He didn't even say a thing! He hugged us all goodnight, still had that dumb grin on his face, and went right to sleep!

Dr. Kent put his IV back in.

"Shouldn't have given him that heavy meal, Martin," he said. "We'll have to clean him out good tomorrow afternoon for the late flight out."

I didn't ask what they did to him.

I was just glad he wasn't like screaming to go home to his real family. I guess they brainwashed him into thinking a car had hit them and he was all alone now. He never said a word about his folks, or Evan.

I was sad that he was crying about ME, too.

I never knew he really liked me that much.

We got up at 8 the next day, and Dr. Kent and Mr. Anwar showed up at like 8:15. We all had breakfast, then Dr. Kent and Mr. A. went downstairs to see to Scott. I wondered why he didn't get to eat, and I found out when Dad explained it.

"In order to get Jimmie out of the country without being caught," Dad said, "He'll be heavily sedated. He has to be very clean, inside and out, and packaged carefully. He'll still have his catheter, an IV, and his plug to keep him from springing leaks and keep him hydrated.

He told us this while we were working out.

I had my weights back on, too; just 5 lbs. [2¼ kg], but still 3;

"Sir, what do you do, put him a coffin like a vampire?" I asked.

Dad laughed. That surprised me.

I wondered if they were down there castrating him right then. I didn't think so – what if he bled out on the trip? No one would be with him.

It was another routine day: we worked out, ate, rested, worked out, had school, napped, and had dinner at 8. I still wasn't allowed to touch myself, and it was hard keeping my hands off of it! But the idea of getting spanked kept me from it. Trust me, it KEPT me from it!

When it was time for a bath, we went downstairs and I got to see how they planned to ship Scott out:

It wasn't a coffin, but it was a long box. It was marked with labels, like it had been all over the world, and it was nice wood. It had some marks, but it wasn't just a dirty old crate either. The big label on the lid said something a museum in Egypt and mummies and delicate stuff, handle with care, climate control, and all that rot – like Canyon called it.

Inside, there was like a cutout in some kind of soft stuff in the shape of a body – a boy-sized body. I imagined ME laying in there, and I shivered. Dad put his arms around me.

"He'll be padded, and kept immobile," Dad explained it, while Dr. Kent and Mr. A. loaded Scott in. He was already asleep, and he was wrapped up like a mummy, too! There were tubes coming out of him here and there.

"He's heavily sedated, and the IV will keep him that way. The catheter will take care of his peeing, and the plug in his butt will be connected to a large tube leading to a drain tank under him to catch anything else that might be coming out. He hasn't eaten all day, and he's had some pretty strong laxatives and enemas. The tube you see in his nose leads to stomach, and a small pump will send a little juice and water into him every few hours. Another small pump will drive his IV, keeping him drugged. He's wrapped to keep him warm, even though the crate is marked for climate control."

Dr. Kent fitted an oxygen mask on his face, tight, after he put a ball gag with a hole in it in Scott's mouth. He puts plugs in his ears, then taped his eyes shut. "He'll have enough air for trip," Dr. Kent said, "And if they x-ray him, they'll think it's a mummy en route back home."

"Our connection at the airport has assured me that no one will mess with the crate," Mr. Anwar said. "To do such might cause an international 3; ruckus? Is that the word?"

Dad and Dr. Kent laughed.

It was the perfect way to smuggle Scott out to America.

(OK, keep in mind, they didn't have security like now, back then. An x-ray wasn't that great, and a live boy would have looked like a box of bones. The crate was very convincing, too, and Mr. A. sure had the money to pull it off. And he had connections.

Just like Dad.

I figured they had them all over the world.)

"Goodbye, buddy," I whispered, and kissed Scott's nose above the mask. It was the only spot I could reach.

They nailed the lid on.

It was the last time I would ever see him for ten years.

Bobbie and Mickey came by when we were getting dried off. With them helping, Dad and the men got the box with Scott in it upstairs and put it in Dad's van.

I found out later that Dr. Kent drove Mr. A. and Scott to the airport, then came back for his car.

Me and Canyon slept in the new room that night, and Dr. Kent took Henry with them. I didn't know why, unless it was for a 'field trip.' Since Jeffie wasn't there, it was just me and Canyon.

My music that night was some Euro choirboys from one of Dad's records. I wondered, staring into the black of my blindfold, if any of them were castrated or not.

I figured some were.

I never asked if they'd castrated Scott, or were going to use him to breed with. I cried a little bit, but Scott was gone.

I was safe.

Canyon was safe.

And I figured there was no way Mr. A. was going to get caught. I bet he'd done it before, and he'd do it again.

Besides, Scott – Jimmie – was going to be spoiled rotten, Dad said.

I wondered about Ali, the boy I thought he was replacing.

Chapter Twenty-One

It was back to the routine from then on. One day was a lot like every other one, and it didn't take me long to lose track of what day it even was. I didn't even know it was July 4th until Dad told us we were going out to watch the fireworks. Some days we had Henry over, some days it was Jeffie until his dad's schedule changed, and Kim and Tyrone even spent the night. I healed up pretty quick, and in two weeks, I just had some skin color on my dick that didn't match right. Something else I got too was a great, even all-over tan! I still had a lot to think about, too. Kim might have thought it was great, but I sure as hell didn't want to be 'nullified', like he called it.

The idea of not having a dick just scared the hell out of me.

I was on my honor to not touch my 'new' dick, as Dad called it. The thing was, I didn't have the chance to – without being caught. If Dad wasn't with me, Canyon was, and he told me I'd get in a LOT of trouble if I did. And since I was strapped down in bed at night and couldn't move, I couldn't even touch it then.

And I wanted too, real bad! It looked so different, and I wanted to know what it felt like!

It was right before the fireworks show that Dad reminded me that I had stuff to still think about. It was when I was healed up enough to start learning to protect myself with Canyon and Henry that really got me thinking harder. I was getting sick of being hit in the balls! Dad called it 'every boy's biggest vulnerability,' and he was right. Every time I got hit there, getting castrated kept looking like a better idea.

Jeffie might like it when he was in pain, but I didn't!

But at least I had permission to get a blowjob during free time. It didn't feel the same, and there was a kinda numb spot where the tab underneath used to be. It took me longer to get off, too, and if I was only getting a blowjob or being jacked off, it was like I was NEVER going to cum. I still wasn't shooting anything, though, and Dr. Kent checked my balls out once a week for signs of size that he said would mean I was hitting puberty. I guess the drugs weren't wearing off yet, since he never got 'anything out of me' when he felt my prostate. Whatever that meant.

That was one choice I had to worry about:

If I started puberty, Dad said, I had to either get castrated or go back on shots to keep me from it. If I didn't get castrated, I had to get a chastity thing put on me, too, like he'd had when he was our age. I wasn't sure about that.

He showed it to me right after I got permission to fool around again.

It was a shiny metal thing that looked like a dick and balls, only hollow, like a shield. There was a tight ring that went on my bits, with a loop on it, and when the thing was put on, it would lock to that ring. The ring was too small to pull off without being able to work one nut at a time through it, and even that kinda hurt. It was hard to put the ring on, once my dick was through it and my nuts had to go through. So if the 'trap' was locked on, you couldn't touch yourself, and since you couldn't do that, you couldn't work one nut at a time back out through the ring that was locked behind it. Since the ring couldn't pull off you, there was NO way to get the shield off.

It also had little air holes in it, so there was no need to take it off, Dad said, but for once a week so he could give me a good cleaning.

I asked him about his one day when we were getting a bath. I'd just had 1.8 on the enema thing pumped into me, and I was feeling kinda light in the head. That, and he'd made me wear the chastity ting for a week, and I was SO glad to be out of it.

"Father wouldn't have me castrated," Dad told us, "Even though I wanted to be. I had a few friends who were, and I thought it was the greatest thing. But he said no. You see, boys, back then we didn't have the testosterone shots that you do today. Once you were castrated, you were castrated 3; and you got all the effects that came with it. If you got fat, or had breasts budding, or got too tall and gangly, you were stuck with it. There was nothing that could be done. No beard, no voice change, and usually no more erections – ever."

I wasn't too sure about that, but then again, I didn't know jack about hormone shots. But I figured he wasn't lying to us. He hadn't lied to me yet.

(I finally found it in a book a long later. It was 1944 when it was available, but it cost a LOT and wasn't too common. I had to remember that Dad WAS pretty old, you know!)

Or that he made his living by selling boys to men like him.

"My chastity device was different from the one you'll need to wear, son," he told me too, "You see, I had to get this piercing," he showed us his PA (he called it). "When my device was put on me, I had to have the piercing first. That had to heal up, and I spent a lot of time with my hands tied behind my back!" Dad laughed.

Jeffie was there that night, and he just laughed too. Then again, the little whacko liked it!

"Once it healed up, the device was put on me, and a very small padlock went though the tip of the device and through my piercing. The only way to take it off was to rip it off and probably bleed to death! Only Father had the key."

That was some story! I figured he must be right. I'd bled a lot when I got circumcised. I couldn't even BEGIN to think how much you'd bleed if you ripped the end of your dick out!

Like I said, I got a test with the chastity thing that week, after a good fucking that first night.

It didn't take me long to decide that I hated it! It was tight, it pulled, and it made my nuts ache some when I was told to try and pull it off. I messed with it for like five minutes before I gave up.

But since I wasn't in puberty, I still had time to think about it.

Sex was something we did every day at free time, and if you spent the night in Dad's bed, you were sure to get it. It wasn't with him every night, but it was a couple times a week. After a few more times, even the start didn't hurt anymore. I started to understand why Canyon said (the first time) – "You got to sleep in Dad's bed ALREADY?"

I finally asked him one day how old he was the first time.

"You know, I don't really remember," he just shrugged. "I think I might have been 8?"

That kinda freaked me out, too. I mean, boys our age were into anything to do with 'being naughty', like Canyon called it, but at 8? I didn't even know what sex was, or what a dick did other than pee when I was 8. I wasn't thinking about that when I was the one being fucked, though. All I was thinking about was getting off, and I could get off best when I was being fucked by either a toy or a man. I kept thinking it wasn't normal, because if it was, wouldn't boys talk about it? Shouldn't I have heard about it on the school bus already? And why was it illegal?

It was MY body, you know, and if I wanted to, why couldn't I?

Dad said it was a good point, and that was why we couldn't tell anyone, or trust anyone outside his friends.

That made me think about Scott, or Jimmie, again. He'd been gone for a while, I didn't know how long, and I wondered how he was doing. I still felt bad for taking him away from his family, but he shouldn't have told. If he hadn't called Mom, he'd still be here with us. He screwed up, not me.

We got a letter from Mr. Anwar after he left. It didn't say much:

I hope this letter finds you all well, and having a good time! Our friend is having the time of his life, and should be a father before long. We can only hope that he has many sons. If not, we will also have plenty in storage. He was very shy at first, cried because he missed his home, but has quickly adapted. The girls have kept him quite entertained, and after many initial misgivings, he opened right up. I am amazed at his stamina as well, given his downtime before. Take care of yourselves, and I shall telephone some time in the future. Perhaps you can come and visit? – Signed, Mr. A.

Dad had to explain it to us.

"Well, boys, since Jimmie wasn't castrated, he is just as fertile as any man or boy who shoots. Mr. Anwar is having him make love to women, in hopes of getting them pregnant."

"WHAT?!?!" We both yelled.

"There aren't many fair-haired or white boys there, you see. I'm sure that Mr. Anwar is very interested to see how some of Jimmie's offspring will look, you see. The last time I was there, he knew of some very pretty ladies with extremely dark skin."

"He's doing it with GIRLS?" Canyon made a face.

I was kinda surprised, but not really. I mean, if Mr. Anwar had bought Scott, and he could shoot, then it only made sense that he'd breed him – and probably sell the boys Scott had to make money. I wondered if THAT was how he got so rich to start with? I didn't ask. Asking questions had got me in too much trouble already.

I'd been spanked once, and I sure as hell didn't want another one!

I mean, getting a swat to the butt to wake us up was one thing – it stung, but it reminded us EVERY morning of what would happen if we were bad.

I tried really hard to be good.

It was after the fireworks, sometime that summer that I got another big surprise:

Henry asked his dad (Dr. Kent) if he could get his dick cut off.

And since Dr. Kent had his real business to run (remember he was Scott's pediatrician before?) and the rest of us to take care of, he needed someone to take care of his newest boy while he healed up.

OK, you see it coming, right?

We had to watch, and I freaked out.

Bad.

Kim might have been all smooth and perfect down there, and I figured he had to have got cut a LONG time ago to heal up so good. Kim looked like he'd never had anything down there to start with, but watching Henry was 3; OK, I puked. You get the idea?

Dr. Kent brought him over one night, and we'd had to help dad set up the place to do it in the basement. Everybody came over to watch too, and I if I hadn't had a plug in my butt, I'd have shit myself to hear Henry tell us why he wanted it.

"Because if I don't have a penis," he said, "I can't ever fuck anyone. I can't jack off ever again. If I ever wanna get off, I HAVE to have someone else fuck me. Getting your penis cut off makes you a perfect bottom-boy. You're helpless without someone else. You depend on them 100% for pleasure."

It sounded like Henry was of those 'smart kids', too. I'd never heard the word 'bottom-boy' before, and Dad explained it like this: "A bottom-boy is one who gets fucked, does the blowjob or hand job, but can never perform the act on himself. He cannot have an orgasm without help, as Henry said, and it makes him completely and totally dependent on his partner to bring him to that point."

I couldn't imagine it.

I mean I'd talked to Kim. I'd seen him be fucked. I'd heard him say how much he loved it, and if he had a new dick, he'd cut it off, too. But I couldn't understand it.

OK, I liked getting fucked, but I really, really liked the feel of someone else touching my dick or giving me a blowjob. I didn't ever wanna lose that. And someday, I wanted to know what it was like to fuck. I wanted to be the one providing good feelings to someone else.

We had a little operating room set up down there. There were lots of lights; ones I didn't even know were there. It was so bright, and we'd spent hours cleaning it. It smelled like Lysol or something, and I was getting dizzy from the smell. Once we were done with that, we got our enemas upstairs so we'd all be clean. When Dr. Kent and Henry were ready, we all went down there and had a shower with this soap that just STUNK!

"Everything needs to be sterile," Dr. Kent told us.

And he was filming it, too! There was a camera set up! What the hell?

Henry looked kinda tired, but he looked excited, too. We all took a turn giving his little limp dick a kiss goodbye, and then he got strapped down so he couldn't move at all. There were like twelve straps all over him, and we had to stand there with white masks on and hold his hands.

"Henry?" Dr. Kent asked him, "Are you certain that you want to do this?"

"Yes, sir," he told him.

And he smiled.

"Say it, then."

"Daddy, I want you to cut my penis off, so I can never, ever fuck anyone, or get myself off again," Henry told him.

I didn't know how the hell a 12 or 13 year old was supposed to decide that, but he was like the rest of us – it was his choice.

Like it was my choice to get castrated or not.

Just like I'd chose to get circumcised.

"There's a good boy," Dr. Kent told him. He filled up a syringe with lube, and shot that up Henry's dick. Then he got a catheter out. He started sliding the tip of it into Henry's dick, and we were all so hard it had to hurt. I know I hurt. The tube just kept going into him, Dad held the end of it over a little pan, and then the tube stopped. Henry gasped.

"The tube has contacted his prostate," Dr. Kent said. "Relax, you know how this is done, son," he told Henry. "Just try to pee, now!"

"OK," Henry said, and the tube slid on in. Pee came running out the end into the pan, and Dad hooked it to a big bag hanging on the side of the table. Then Dr. Kent got a little thing full of salt water, hooked it onto the other end of the catheter, and pushed the plunger in. He said it was to fill up the balloon that was inside Henry's bladder, so the catheter wouldn't slide back out.

"He'll have that in for at least a month," Jeffie whispered to me, and Joe smacked his butt – hard. Jeffie squealed. I knew he'd had one when they'd 'stubbed' his little dick – and that he probably liked that, too.

It was just Henry's little dick down there, all by itself. He'd already been castrated, and it looked like he never even had balls or a sac. Then he got some shots to numb it. We waited.

"You're gonna love it, Henry!" Kim told him, when Mr. Leon nodded at him.

Canyon and me looked at each other, and I could see that he was terrified, like me. I guess Canyon didn't want to lose his, either? I know I sure as hell didn't!

Everyone else was hard, too. I figured we were in for a rough night when the operation on Henry was over!

I wondered if Henry would still think he was a boy when it was done? When he had NOTHING left down there, like Kim? He wouldn't look like a boy OR girl.

I was shaking some when Dr. Kent made the first little cuts. It was like he cut something inside, up near the top of where Henry's dick hooked onto him. It pulled down some, and looked longer. Dad said he was taking it all the way out – no stub.

Jeffie's eyes were wide as dinner plates!

My stomach was rolling around when Dad sponged up the blood, but he was quick and Henry didn't bleed that bad.

Then Dr. Kent got a different scalpel and started cutting around the base in a circle. "Last chance?" He asked Henry.

He was just touching it with the dull side – like a test.

Henry's eyes looked glassy. He was like fascinated by it. I thought I was gonna puke.

"Cut it off, Daddy," He said again. "Please?"

Dad put a gag in his mouth then.

He couldn't say 'no' now.

Henry was going to have his dick cut off.

Then Dr. Kent made the real cut.

There was blood.

Henry sucked in hard.

Dad sponged it.

Dr. Kent kept cutting, and there was SO much blood!

I let go of Henry's hand – I ran.

I got to the bathroom before I puked.

I don't know what happened from there. Joe came and got me, and when we got back, Dr. Kent was sliding Henry's dick down the catheter.

It looked like Henry fainted.

I thought I was gonna.

"It's OK, Landen," Joe told me, and Dad looked up and nodded. Kim had Henry's other hand. No one looked mad at me. "Some of us can't take the sight of blood, you know."

I don't know if it was the blood, or seeing Henry's dick being cut off. Me getting circumcised didn't freak me out, but this did.

Then again, I wasn't getting my dick cut off, either. Just trimmed.

I don't know how long it took, but Dr. Kent ended up splitting Henry's disconnected dick and taking it off the tube. He put it in a jar of stuff and sealed it up. Then he started making other little cuts. There was this tube-thing on the catheter, still, and he said he had to move his 'urethra' so Henry could pee without making a mess. It took a long time, because my legs were getting sore from standing.

They just kept working, too, and I just kept watching.

Henry was almost asleep from then. They'd put an IV in him, too. It was like once he'd seen his dick come off he was done.

He had nothing left to come off.

"Congratulations, little brother," Kim told him.

Henry just whined and closed his eyes.

But he was grinning.

When it was finally over, Henry had a lot of stitches. The tube was coming out of him above his butt hole, and once Dad him all cleaned up and no more bleeding, they put some kind of glue on the cuts and bandaged him up. It had taken a long time, Dr. Kent was so careful.

"We'll want him totally immobile and unconscious for at least a week," Dr. Kent said. "After that, we'll let him wake up slowly." Then he kissed Henry's cheek. "I love you, my wonderful, brave boy!" He whispered.

When he was all bandaged up, Henry was wheeled over into the little room that Scott had been in. They put headphones on him, and hooked up some little pads and wires that made some monitor things beep – just like in a hospital, or on TV.

The camera got shut off, and the lights flickered.

They flickered a lot, and I didn't feel so freaked out anymore.

(OK, you know what happened next – the lights were to settle me down, like Canyon told me a while back. Then it was sex. Sex. And a lot of it. It was like my party a couple weeks before. Only more. I think I got fucked by at least everyone once, maybe more, I don't remember. But I CAN say this – I was into it. I was hard; I wanted to get off. I NEEDED to get off.)

Mr. Frederick, dad's lawyer, told me he felt left out. I realized then that he didn't have a boy. "He's gone to law school, Landen," Mr. Fred told me.

He was my first fuck of the night.

Even Bobbie asked me for permission to give me a blowjob later on.

I didn't get off from it, cause by then, I didn't think I could get off anymore. I'd lost track of who I'd done what with. Bobbie just grinned at me and shook his head. He wasn't hard either, but he'd got off more than once, too. I guess if you were older, castrated or not, you could?

"Check that out!" He laughed, and pointed to the couch.

Tyrone and Kim were making out, or – they were TRYING to. I mean, Tyrone was smooth, and so was Kim. There wasn't anything they could really DO. But they were touching and kissing each other all over, like they had to touch every bit of each other. They looked like they were having a good time.

There was nothing they could do, and they were still TRYING!

I guess Ty was pretty much over it all? I hadn't seen him since the party, when he'd been embarrassed and cried, but he seemed happy now. He was a different kid.

"See, it's like they both wanna get off again, but there's no way they can make each other do it," Bobbie explained.

Dad and Mr. Thomas were watching them, too.

I don't know how long the two 'nullo's' made out, and I got one more good fucking – from Dad – before bedtime. When he was done, and I felt him shooting inside me, I just held onto him and started crying.

"It's late, and we're all tired," he told me. "I think it's time for someone to go to bed?"

I nodded.

"Tell me," Dad said.

"Dad!" I just cried, and I was freaking out again, "It scared me! I don't wanna get MY dick cut off!"

He picked me up.

"Did anyone ask YOU to?"

"N-no?"

"Do you want to?"

"NO!"

"Then it won't ever happen," Dad told me. "You only have one other choice to make, and you can make it later. It's fine, Landen," he kept telling me when he carried me upstairs. I was so tired I know I wouldn't have made it.

He got me a quick shower in the upstairs bathroom, and I brushed my teeth. I really wanted to do that, because I'd had more than one dick in my mouth that night. I wasn't that good at it yet, but like Joe said, I was 'getting there.' He suggested I practice on Canyon some more.

I was still hanging onto Dad when he took me to the new room. The other boys had used it, but I hadn't – yet. Until then. I just didn't want to, and that was my choice, too. But I didn't say anything when he gave me a pill, made me get a big drink, and strapped me in. I didn't know where Canyon was, either, and that didn't help.

"P-promise?"

He nodded and kissed me.

"Landen, what you've just seen is the second greatest gift one can give another – giving someone else a part of your body. Henry's been thinking about it ever since he was castrated, and he finally decided. He gave his very manhood to his Daddy tonight, and in doing so, placed himself TOTALLY in his care. He'll depend on his Daddy for pleasure from now on, and when he's older, his Daddy will find him someone to take care of him, too. Just like Kim. Do you remember how proud Dr. Kent was?"

I nodded.

"I was prouder of you than that when you got circumcised," Dad told me, and he touched my dick. I couldn't get hard, though. I was wore out.

He put his finger on my lips then.

"I love you son," he told me, and he put the headphones on me. Before the music started, and before he turned the strobe lights on, he put a diaper on me. It didn't bother me, either, and I knew it should. I hated diapers! I guess I knew I needed it. I hadn't peed in a long time, he made had me drink a big glass of cold water, and my butt was so loose it felt like it was gonna fall out! I'd have messed the bed without it, too. I was glad I had it on that morning.

I guess I must have passed out or something, because it felt like forever before the swat on the butt woke me up for lunch the next day.

It was like nothing at all had happened. Dad didn't talk anymore about it, like I hadn't just seen a boy get his dick cut off. I was still trying to figure out how Dad considered something like that a present, a big sign of love. But when I really thought about it, I guess I kinda got it. If I was thinking about giving my balls to him, like he'd said it, didn't that really tell him how much I loved him?

And how proud of me would he be then, if he was so proud of my circumcision?

I just wanted him to be proud of me.

It must have been a week, because one day after our workout (and more fighting lessons, and another hit in the balls), Dad said that Henry would be awake for dinner and that we'd go downstairs and eat with him.

Dr. Kent came by every night, and Dad took care of Henry's bandages and stuff in the daytime. We hadn't seen him yet, so I didn't know how healed he was. But Dad said he had to have the catheter for a month, so I figured it would at least take him that long to heal up.

We had stew that night, and Henry got mostly broth. Since he couldn't get up to use the bathroom, he had to eat soft stuff and drink a lot. He wasn't really 'with it' that night, but he looked happy. I wondered if he was drugged up.

"I can't wait to touch it," Henry said.

"Touch what?" Canyon laughed.

I thought, 'Yeah, you got NOTHING to touch!' but I didn't say it.

"I can't believe I finally got it cut off," Henry sighed. "Daddy's proud of me, you know."

I think it was the most I'd heard Henry say at once since I met him.

"He won't leave me now," Henry was blinking, "Not like they did. He has to keep me now," He closed his eyes, and I guess he went to sleep.

Dr. Kent was a little late, and he didn't wake Henry up that night. I could see it on his face, though – he loved his boy a LOT. It was like how Dad looked at me and Canyon.

"You're a lucky man, Martin," Dr. Kent said, when it was almost bedtime. "I wish Henry were twins."

"Dad?" I asked, when we got put to bed that night in the new room, "When does school start?"

Dad laughed. "Why? You're not going back there! You have school every day, here!"

"I know," I said, and I realized that I hadn't thought about that! I was never going back to junior high with all the kids I knew. I wondered if I'd even see them, ever again? Since they all thought I was dead, I guessed not.

"It's August, Landen," Dad told me. "That's all you need to know."

"Yes, sir," I nodded.

I didn't realize it until he said "August," but my 13th birthday was coming up.

Dad said it was three weeks after Henry had his dick cut off, and even though he still had to wear the catheter, Dr. Kent said he was healed up well enough to see it. We spent time with Henry every day, and yeah, he was getting bored now that he was awake most of the time. Before, Dad said he just slept like Scott had. I didn't know how he was using the bathroom, since they couldn't move him any at all, and I didn't ask. Like I said, I was learning not to ask things. Some things.

When Dr. Kent took the bandages off, Henry was all excited to see himself. He still had a little bit of bruises, but he wasn't swelled up bad or anything. He was a little bit puffy, I guess, and his skin was still pink. His crotch kinda looked like a shiny football with the stitches in him. Henry just stared, but since he was strapped down, he couldn't touch himself.

I knew the feeling.

I still hadn't been allowed to touch mine – and I KNEW Dad was watching. My hands were folded on my desk in school, and strapped to the equipment when we worked out. If I had an itch, I had to ask him or Canyon to scratch it, even!

Henry looked like he was stunned when Dr. Kent held up a mirror so he could see himself down there.

"Wohhhwww!" He sighed, "Look at me! I 3; I can't believe I 3;"

Then he started crying.

"Daddy's right here, son," Dr. Kent told him.

"I love you, Daddy!" Henry sobbed. He was pulling on his straps, and I knew he wanted to hold him.

"Are you OK, son?" Dr. Kent asked, when Henry stopped crying and he helped him blow his nose and wiped his face off. "No regrets?"

"No!" Henry said, shaking his head. It was the only thing he could move, other than wiggle his toes. "I just wish 3; I wish we did it before, is all?"

"Daddy is SO proud of you, Henry," Dr. Kent told him.

(OK, I know it all sounds REALLY weird now, and it does to me, now, too, but back then, it sounded fine to us. It was like we were being humored, and I guess we were. I mean the boys (me included) were giving up their manhood or parts of it. It was a HUGE thing, but Dad, Dr. Kent, and all of them didn't make a big deal of it. They just kept telling us about OUR choices, and how proud they were.)

And I had a brother.

I loved him too.

And he loved me.

I guess I was getting used to it? I loved being loved. I never wanted it to end.

I couldn't get it, how anyone could have just dumped a kid like Henry in a homeless shelter.

Dr. Kent had another surprise for me that night, too. I got my weekly exam after he was done changing Henry's bandages. I wasn't paying much attention, until he felt my balls. They were still a little bit sore, and we'd had some pretty hardcore swimming that day. It was so hot out, too, and I was just beat. He touched my prostate, and it had been a couple days since I'd been fucked. I was hard. Real hard.

"Congratulations, Martin, I think his testicles are increasing in size. I'd say our boy is just a few steps from puberty!" Dr. Kent said. "And I swear, his penis looks bigger!"

Did it? I didn't know. I tried not to look at it, since I was afraid I'd touch it and get spanked.

I stared at him for a while.

I knew what it meant.

I had to make my choice: chastity thing, or castration? If not castration, then back to the shots until Dad said I could be a man. If I got castrated, I'd look JUST like Canyon. And no chastity thing.

And no puberty.

But if I said 'no', and kept my balls, I had to wear the chastity thing (and I hated it!) and get shots again, like Mom had me on. It would be Dad's decision when I got to develop, then.

"And then only if you get too fat or too gangly," Dad warned me.

Either way, puberty was the thing that wasn't MY choice.

"Landen, I want you and Canyon to go upstairs and talk about it," Dad told me.

Henry was grinning at me, since he was still awake. "You know what I think?" He laughed.

The hell? Yeah, I KNEW what Henry thought! Henry was a 'nullo' now, like Kim. Of course HE'D say 'get castrated!'

I nodded at him, like 'yeah, right!' and he squirmed some. Me and Canyon kissed him goodnight. "I wish I could move," Henry sighed.

"One more week," Dr. Kent told him.

"Canyon?" Dad said, when we went to go upstairs.

"Sir?"

"Make sure your brother jacks off. I want him to know what that feels like, since he's hard and hasn't gotten off in a while. I want him to know what his new penis feels like, with is balls there, before he decides." Then he looked at me. "Take your plug out, Landen," he told me.

I WAS surprised.

I had permission to TOUCH it?

FINALLY?

I was being told to jack off?

I went to the sink and took my plug out and washed it. Dad told me to leave it.

I felt empty. Real empty.

When we got upstairs, Canyon put a boy/eunuch video in. It took me a while, but my dick didn't feel like before! It was wild touching it, like it was someone else's, and not mine. It felt so different!

"You like it?" Canyon asked, and he was getting kinda hard too.

"It's wild!" I told him.

Me and the eunuch on the tape got off about the same time. I didn't shoot, and neither did he, but Canyon's eyes got real wide.

He joint pointed.

I looked down.

There was a little bitty drop of clear stuff in my peehole.

Canyon squeezed my dick, real easy, and the drip got a little bit bigger.

"Precum, brother," Canyon said. "Dr. Kent was right – you're hitting puberty!"

I just stared at it.

"Won't be long, you'll want sex all the time! Body hair, grow a beard and have to shave, gets zits, you'll get smelly, and then you'll be a man! Getting hard all the time, and wanting to fuck!" Canyon laughed.

That made me feel like I was gonna puke.

"What are you gonna do, Brother?" Canyon asked me, and he went down and started giving me a blowjob.

He stopped about ten minutes later.

"Yep, it's precum," he nodded. "You'll be shooting a mess like Jimmie did, in about two weeks, I bet!"

He got me off again, and it was great!

I don't know how long it took.

"No, I won't, Brother," I told him. No way did I want to do that. I was thinking about the time Scott shot it on ME, and how gross it was. And shaving? Hair all over me?

No.

I didn't want things to change, even though things had did nothing BUT change all summer long – since school let out and I met Canyon.

Since I'd spied on and met my new neighbor boy.

Was school even IN yet?

I didn't know. I didn't care.

Ben had went to school.

But Ben was dead.

My name was Landen.

"DAD!" I yelled, "DAD!"

Dad came busting up the stairs like he thought the house was on fire or something!

'What? What's wrong?" He was looking around.

"Dad, I have to tell you something," I cried, and I almost tackled him. He grabbed me up and held me.

"Don't tell me you don't like your new penis?" Dad asked.

"No, I love it, Daddy!" I told him, "Thank you! I gotta tell you something else! If it's OK, I mean?"

"Son, you can tell me anything," he said. "Sheeez, I thought we were being robbed, or something! What IS it?"

"I decided something, Daddy, and I love you!" I said. "Please say you'll be proud of me?"

He nodded.

"I know what I want for my birthday, Dad!"

Chapter Twenty-Two
Conclusion

I'd made my decision.

I wasn't sure what Dad would say, but I was sure of something – I wanted it. No way was I wearing that chastity thing for five years or so! And I sure as hell didn't want to turn out like Scott 3; Jimmie 3; whatever 3;

OK, so I figured it had to be close to my birthday. I would be 13 when school started, and the 4th of July was past. It was summer, it was hot as hell, so I thought it was August. Back then, we didn't have TV that told you the time, day, date, channel and ran spammy little commercials down in the corner all time! We had a routine, and we followed it, and didn't get much TV time. I didn't know it until just then, but I had NO track of time at all!

"It has to be close, sir," I nodded at him. "I'll be 13!"

"So, what do you want, son?" Dad asked.

"I want to get castrated," I told him, trying to sound as sure as I could.

"Father, he just made a drop of precum," Canyon put in, like he was accusing me of robbing the bank or something.

Dad just looked at me. He looked shocked.

"Are you SURE?" He asked me, "Because once they're gone, they're gone. You'll be a eunuch for the rest of your life, Landen. Without hormones in later life, you'll never become a man. You've studied all the effects, like Daddy told you?"

I nodded at him. Of course I'd studied it; it was homework.

"It's a somewhat hasty decision, but I think your body is washing out those drugs your mother was giving you," Dad said. He reached down and felt my balls. I was getting hard again. "I think they ARE a bit larger. I'll have Dr. Kent take a look. It's a somewhat rapid development, don't you think?"

"I want it to stop, Dad," I said, "I want to be like Canyon."

"Is that ALL?" He asked me.

OK, no it wasn't. There was more, and he knew it.

I shook my head. "I 3; I want you to be proud of me," I told him.

And I did.

He hugged me. "I AM proud of you, son," he said, "And I am even prouder now! But you have to be SURE?"

"I am, sir," I said. "Scott, I mean, Jimmie, was all 3; you know? And I don't wanna be like that. Not yet."

"Someday?" Dad asked me.

I nodded. "Maybe? Maybe someday, I'll grow up and want to have 3; I mean, find 3; a kid? Like you?" Dad smiled at me. He looked like I'd said the right thing.

Dr. Kent came up from getting Henry settled for the night, and Dad had him look at me.

"You're sure?" He asked Canyon.

"Yes, sir, I KNOW what it tastes like!" Canyon grinned.

"Tell him," Dad said.

"Sir, I want to get castrated, like my brother," I told Dr. Kent.

Of course, I got the same speech. It was like they were making double sure!

"We'll need to stop the process," Dr. Kent said. "His testicles are larger, I think, and it's beginning. We need to neutralize the testosterone he's already got."

I cringed.

Another shot. I just knew it.

Sure enough 3;

It was late already, so Dr. Kent came back the next day. He gave me a shot in the butt while Dad held me. I couldn't watch. I hated needles. It hurt like hell, too.

Poor Kenny, I dunno how he did it every day with his insulin.

"A bit of this, a bit of that," Dr. Kent said. So it was back to where I was – on shots to keep me OUT of puberty.

I didn't realize it until right then, but hormone shots were needles too. Shit, I thought, Well maybe I can get used to it, if I ever want them? Maybe somebody will invent a pill for it someday?

"You also need to realize, Landen, that if you have surgery now, swimming is going to be out of the question for four weeks. In fact, moving around is out of the question for almost four weeks." Dad told me. "You'll miss a lot of the summer."

I thought about Henry. He still had some time to go, but he'd also had his penis cut off. That was probably a lot more to heal up than just being castrated?

"I want you to heal up as close to perfect as you can," Dad told me. "We don't want a bunch of unsightly scarring?"

"Yes, sir," I nodded.

"So, would you like to do it now?" Dr. Kent asked. "I'm here, Henry's sleeping, so we might as well get it done."

"I suppose he can recover in his new room," Dad said, "Since Henry has the usual place?"

So that was that.

They were all looking at me.

Dr. Kent looked at his watch. "Have him skip lunch and let him play in the pool, Martin," he suggested. "After all, it'll be September when he's healed, and it might be too cold by then?"

"Boys," Dad told us, and it was a surprise. "You have the afternoon off, until nap time, that is."

"W-we're gonna do it TODAY?" I almost yelled.

"I thought you wanted to?" Dr. Kent asked.

"Having second thoughts, already?" Dad asked.

I was, but I wasn't going to admit it.

I was going to be down for a month.

I was going to get castrated – in just a few hours.

Have my balls cut off.

I'd wanted it, said it, and now it was going to happen.

I'd finally look JUST like my brother.

(OK, so I was like 1 inch [2½ cm] taller!)

He took a picture of me and Canyon. I guess it was the last one of me with balls. Then we went outside to swim.

All the time, Dr. Kent and Dad sat and watched us. I kept thinking about when Canyon had told me: "I want to jack off, but I can't."

I was going to be just like that. I wondered how much I'd want to? We'd studied eunuchs, and some of them didn't even think about sex anymore after getting castrated. But with the way things were, I mean, sex was a part of our life, in case you didn't notice!

(OK, you're thinking by now I'd fell into some kind of trap. OK, maybe. You're thinking "this kid is abused! This isn't normal!"

So what's normal for you?

No one did a thing to me that I didn't want to do. Every time I got fucked, or gave someone a blowjob, I got asked first. I could say 'no'. Sure, I tested it out once. One time, when Joe asked me, when he came to pick up Jeffie and we all got to fooling around, and I just didn't want to. I told him why, and he said it was fine.)

But I didn't care.

Mr. Poore and his kid, my new neighbor boy, were my real family. They'd tracked me down, or tracked someone they thought was his missing son, and found me. And they wanted me back. Even if I wasn't his kid, they still wanted me. It was more than I could say for anyone else.

OK, so yeah 3; they kinda blew up my house, AND my Mom, and faked my death. No one knew I was even still alive, and the Smiths thought me and Canyon were the same kid.

It wasn't like I could walk out and go home.

Ben was dead.

But I wasn't Ben anymore.

I had a new name, a new life, and I liked it just like it was.

But thinking about having my balls cut off still scared me.

How much was it gonna hurt?

What if I got an infection? What if I didn't heal good?

What if I couldn't get hard again, or get off again?

But one thing I was sure of – I was happy.

OK, you didn't have doctors and counselors back then passing out Prozaac and shit like it was candy, or talking about depressed kids. But I know now, and I didn't know it back then, I was depressed at home with Mom. Hell, I was miserable.

Everyone made fun of me. I was little, soft, maybe kinda fat? Was that what Dad meant by 'soft'? Even my friends made fun of me. I wasn't a geek, or a jock, or even a nerd, really. I was just – Ben.

The dumpy kid nobody noticed.

Mom included.

I wondered what they'd all say now, if they knew?

I wondered what Scott/Jimmie would say?

Hell, he wouldn't care. If I was thinking right, from what Dad and Mr. Anwar said, Scott was up to his eyeballs in harem girls he had to fuck, so they'd have mixed colored babies (hopefully boys) for Mr. Anwar 3; to do 3; something with?

(In case you're wondering, every now and then we got a color photo of Jimmie and some girls, having a good time, doing this and that. Nothing illegal, since it was in the post, but those and letters to Dad and Canyon. Scott, or Jimmie 3; looked funny riding a camel in that white outfit. Jimmie of Arabia?)

When it was time to get out of the pool, I was really hungry. But they said I couldn't eat. Dr. Kent was afraid I'd puke when he was operating on me, and I was going to be awake for it!

"Dad, are you sure it's OK if I don't get kids?" I asked him again.

"Landen, I told you before – there are plenty of boys out there who need good homes. Someday, when you're all grown up, you'll see a boy somewhere that needs you, and you'll take him in – just like my Daddy took me in. Just like Joe took Jeffie in, or Dr. Kent took Henry in. Just like WE took YOU in," Dad reminded me. He kissed me, and told me he was so very proud of me.

I was still scared.

"Are you SURE you want to do this?" Dr. Kent asked me again.

"Because you don't HAVE to," Canyon nodded. "If it's just because you want to LOOK like me? It's flattering and all, but honestly?" He asked.

"No, it's not that," I said. "I just want 3; I want 3; I mean, I don't want to be 3;"

Stupid me, I started crying.

Dad picked me up and carried me in. I was shaking.

"I'm scared!" I finally got it out.

Dr. Kent made me a drink, just a little one, and gave me a pill. Dad just sat there in his chair and held me, rocked me, until I started feeling better. He put on a pair of sunglasses then, and told me to look at the TV.

A light started flashing at me.

"Landen, I want you to look at that light. Just watch it. I want to you know something – that light strobes at 30 pulses per second. It makes you go into a trance, almost, and makes you very open to suggestion. This isn't the first time we've used it on you."

"OK?"

I was staring at it, I know. I don't remember it, so he told me this part later on. In fact, Canyon recorded it so I could hear myself:

"Landen, do you really want to be castrated?"

"Yes, sir," I said, and I sounded all dreamy or goofy.

"Why, son?"

"I don't want you to th-throw me out," I told him.

"Son, how did you feel when you first met Canyon and I?"

"Scared. Freaked out. Some. But OK."

"Why's that?"

"Because I saw how much you loved him."

"And?"

"I 3; I wanted someone to love me like that, too."

"Son, were you snooping, trying to set me up? Were you going to call the cops on me?"

"Yes, sir."

"Why?"

"B-because it was so weird!" I was saying, "I heard you on the phone, and I thought 3; you kidnapped a boy! And then there was all the sex stuff!"

"So why didn't you turn me in?" Dad asked me.

"I 3; I wanted to see more. I 3; I 3; liked it, sir."

"And?"

"I 3; I wanted a dad!"

"And?"

"They'd take Canyon away if I did and lock him up in Blanken Center!"

"Do you still like it here, Landen?"

"Yes!"

"Do you want to stay here?"

"YES!"

"Do you still want to be castrated?"

"YES!"

"Don't do this for ME, son," Dad told me. "IF you do it, do it for YOU. No matter what you do, I'll still love you, Landen. And who said anything about throwing you out? You're not going ANYWHERE for another five years, at least!" Dad laughed, and he tickled me. THAT part I remembered.

"Why do you really want to?" He asked me.

"So you'll be proud of me, Daddy."

"But I already am, son?"

"Really?"

"Yes. I love you, too. You know that. Daddy will always love you."

"Landen, tell me one more time why you want to be castrated?"

"Because I won't be a boy anymore! I'll grow up too fast! You don't want someone like Scott! And 3; and I don't want to be like him!"

"I'll still want you no matter what," Dad told me.

Then the light went out.

"W-was I crying?" I asked him.

"You had a sneezing fit, son," Dad told me, and gave me a hanky.

(I wouldn't find out about this until months later, either. When I listened to the playback later, I was still crying.)

If I did this, that was something I'd never feel again.

"Canyon," Dad then asked, "Are you quite positive there was no sperm in that drop?"

"No, sir!" Canyon answered him at once. "I'd have tasted it."

I was getting light-headed, but not sleepy. I was feeling limp, or floppy, and when Dad got up, I almost fell over.

"Now you're all relaxed," Dr. Kent told me.

"Landen?" Dad asked. "I'll still love you if you say 'no'?"

"You can get shots, like you were on, Brother," Canyon reminded me.

"You don't have to do this, boy," Dr. Kent nodded. "We have drugs for chemical castration, just like you're used to."

I started to say something, but Dad stopped me. He touched my lips with one finger.

"Think about it just a little while longer, son," He told me. "Castration is forever, you know."

I know they were testing me, trying to talk me out of it.

We went down to the basement. I didn't know what to say. I got cleaned out with the usual enema, got a bath, and the more I was thinking about it, the harder I got.

I had to give them an answer.

"You know," Dad said, and I thought he'd ask me again if I was sure, "They say that orgasms are different once you're castrated. We can't put the catheter in while you're hard, son, so that has to go down first."

Then he started jacking me off. Dr. Kent was turning lights on, and he was getting another table of some kind set up for me.

IF I said yes.

Then Dad was touching me, jacking me off, pretty slow, too.

He held my balls, rolled them around, kinda squeezed them some. It felt really good. I wanted to get off. It didn't take so long, and I was looking at Dr. Kent when it felt different.

Dad was kissing me DOWN THERE! Then he started sucking my dick.

It was the best thing I'd ever felt!

I was almost crying when I got off, it was so good. He had all of me in his mouth, and when he was done, he just held me tight.

"You were right, Canyon," he said.

Then he looked at me.

"You'll never feel that exactly the same way again, son," he told me. "Are you sure you want to this?"

Canyon just watched us.

I nodded.

"Say it, then, boy," Dad told me.

"S-sir, I want to get c-castrated!" I told him. "Please?"

Dad nodded. He kissed me again, on the mouth.

"Daddy is so proud of you, Landen," He told me.

Canyon came over, and he kissed me too. He was hard, but he didn't say a thing about it. He was holding a ball gag.

Dad put it in my mouth and tightened it up.

He took off all my weights, and the only thing I had on was my collar, my earrings, and the gag.

He picked me up and put me on the table.

I'd said 'yes.'

I was gagged, and I couldn't say 'no' now.

I was going to get castrated.

They were going to cut my balls off.

No way out.

Dad and Canyon got me strapped down so I couldn't move, but I had a pillow so I could be leaned up and watch. Dad set up the movie camera, and that didn't bother me. The lights flashed a couple times, and looking back, I needed calmed down. It didn't matter that I knew I was probably getting hypnotized or something, like Scott- Jimmie- had been. I relaxed.

I'd never had a catheter before, and I didn't like it either. That lube being shot up my dick was weird as hell, and the tube going in was worse. I felt like I was peeing all over, had to pee, couldn't, but couldn't stop peeing. It was confusing.

I got a plug put back in me, and it was different. It had a tube coming out of it, and something cool was going into me. Dr. Kent taped my dick to my belly to keep it out of the way, and he rubbed me down with brown stuff to sterilize my skin. Then he started playing with my balls.

Dad put his hand over my eyes, and I felt the shots. Things started getting numb down there, and it wasn't long before I couldn't feel a thing. It was like I was already done, or had nothing down there. I wondered if that was how Henry felt, or Kim, or Ty? But I wouldn't be like them.

I was going to be like Canyon.

I would still have a dick, even though I might not be able to use it for much.

Dad had the sponges and stuff, while Canyon held my hand. He kissed my cheek and told me he was there, that he loved me and he was proud of me too.

There was some blood when Dr. Kent touched the scalpel to my sac.

I gasped and bit my gag.

"I assume we'll remove the entire scrotum, Martin?" He asked.

Dad nodded. "Make it nice and smooth!"

'Nice and smooth'. Like my brother. I'd look like I'd never even had balls when they were done, if I healed good.

I just watched. I didn't puke like I did when Henry had got his dick cut off. This was me, and I wanted to see it.

I wanted to see my balls.

Dr. Kent got the sac cut open, down the middle, and he got one of my balls out. Dad kept it sponged off down there. It was gray, my ball. It looked weird, too – not round like a ball. The doctor pulled it down with a clamp, hard, and I could feel something tugging up inside me. He put a stitch in the tube that came off of it, and tied it off tight. They he did it again. Then he picked up something else, and it smelled hot.

Dad had a little pair of scissors, and he cut the 'cord', he called it.

Dr. Kent touched that hot thing to the cut end, it smoked, and I almost freaked out! Then he let go of the cord, and it disappeared up inside of me.

One of my balls was out. He held it up and showed it to me.

"I think they're bigger than mine were," Canyon sighed.

Then dad put it in a bottle of water or something after he rinsed it off.

Dr. Kent got the other one out.

Dad gave the scissors to Canyon.

He looked shocked.

I know I was!

"Go ahead, son," Dad told me. "You're his brother, it's only right."

I was biting my gag, hard.

My own brother, who I just met after twelve years, was going to cut my other ball off.

I think he was more surprised than I was.

Canyon looked at me. "I love you, Brother!" He smiled.

He cut the cord.

Canyon held my cut out ball up and he almost looked sick – or like he didn't know what the hell to do. He'd just castrated me.

"Congratulations, Landen, my little friend," Dr. Kent said, "You are now a eunuch!"

I guess I fainted.

My nose was burning with the smelly salts, and when I woke up, Dr. Kent was cutting my empty little sac down to size and stitching it up. When he held it up, it just looked like a big flap of skin.

"Nice and flat," he told me, smiling. He held up a little mirror so I could see the row of stitches under my dick.

I must have passed out again.

I don't know when I woke up.

But when I did, I still couldn't move. I couldn't see or hear. I wondered if I'd died, bled to death, or something.

But I could feel, and my crotch hurt. Kinda. I must have had drugs, because it wasn't as bad as being hit in the balls, and I thought it should have hurt more.

I just laid there in the dark, warm, and just limp. I wasn't covered up, I could feel it. But I was warm.

"I'm castrated," I thought, since I couldn't talk either. Something was in my mouth. "I got my balls cut off!"

OK, I panicked.

I made a fist, and something was in my hand.

My panic button.

It wasn't a minute later and Dad was there, taking off my blindfold. He pulled off my headphones, which hadn't been playing music either.

"Look who's awake!" He smiled at me, and he was almost crying when he leaned down and kissed my nose.

He took my gag out, and held up a little squirt bottle of water.

I was thirsty! I knew it then, and I sucked on the bottle like I was lost in the desert!

"Easy now, son! Easy!" Dad laughed.

"Mmm-I-OK, Dad?" I asked, and my voice was like rough.

"Must be nice to sleep for a week," Dad told me, and he put his hand on my tummy. It was cool on me in the warm room.

I looked down, and he nodded. I could see bandages down there, and just a tube coming out of them. Being plugged, I was used to. I just stared at the bandages.

"Brudd-dder?" I kinda slurred it.

"Canyon is getting our dinner ready, Landen," Dad told me. "But no solid food for you, yet." He pointed.

I had an IV in my arm, and I was so glad the doctor didn't wake me up to see THAT go in!

"How do you feel?"

"Sleeeeepy," I groaned, even though I just woke up.

OK, a lot of this is from what he told me later, and watching the movie they made of me getting cut. I didn't remember a lot of it.

He gave me some juice, and I sucked that down pretty quick. I remember that. It was orange juice.

"You're doing very well, Landen," Dad told me. "But it's important that you not move and heal up some more. You're going to go back to sleep, soon, but you have a visitor first. OK?"

"Oh-Kahhhy!" I kinda laughed. It was funny for some reason. I looked up, and there was a boy standing in the doorway.

It was Canyon.

He came over and kissed me, touched me where he could, and was almost in tears. "You're healing up VERY well, Brother," he said. "I've been helping take care of you!" He said, and he looked proud. He also had a fat lip.

"Jeffie's getting much better at scrapping, what?" He laughed. I guess it was the look on my face? I laughed at him. "And when you're all healed up, I'm going to teach YOU, too! I won't be around to protect you forever, you know!" He smiled.

But he still had tears on his face.

"I love you, Landen!" He sniffled, and he kissed me again.

"Wuv yooo tooo," I told him.

And I did.

I loved him.

I looked at Dad.

I wanted to hug him so bad, but I couldn't move.

And I was so sleepy again.

"Daddy is so proud of you – both!" He told us. "I'm probably the only father in the world with twin eunuch boys!" He smiled.

I went back to sleep, I guess, with them right there.

When I woke up again, there was someone talking to me in my headphones in Spanish. I guess it was 'learn while you sleep'? I pushed my panic button, and I felt funny. My plug felt weird, I wasn't so loopy, and I could feel my catheter.

When my blindfold came off, there was Dad.

I asked him what day it was.

"Friday, why?" He smiled. "And you have a visitor!"

I looked and saw a boy in the doorway.

OK, not really a boy.

A eunuch.

He didn't have anything down there.

"H'ennn-weee!" I grinned.

I didn't know how long I'd been asleep again, but Henry was up and moving around. He still had a catheter hooked to a bag on his leg, and there was a pink line where his dick used to be. He looked like he was healing up really good, too.

"Hi, Landen!" He grinned, and waved at me.

"You up?" I said.

"Yeah! Been up for a few," he smiled. "You OK?"

"Yeah."

How long had I been out?

"Well, you're vacation is over, son," Dad told me. "Starting today, you're staying awake." He pointed.

There was a small TV at the end of my bed, and some books and stuff on the little desk that I could reach, if my arms were freed. Dad showed me a bed tray that fit over me, and he propped me up so I was almost sitting up.

I was still bandaged down there, and couldn't see a thing.

"Hungry?" I asked, and my butt felt funny.

"Only liquids and soft food," Dad told me, "You have a larger plug in you, connected to two lines now, since you can't get up for your nightly cleaning out! One of the lines washes and gives you a stool softener, while the other keeps you drained out."

"Oh!"

That explained that. I had some kind of automatic enema system in me, then?

"You'll wake up every morning, now, like usual. You'll have lessons, if not exercise, so you can catch up. You can watch tapes on your homework, and Canyon will have his lessons in here with you for a while," Dad told me.

That sounded good to me. I wondered how long I'd still be in bed?

I didn't ask him, either. It was enough that they were taking care of me, and I was just there.

Dad let my arms loose, and told me NOT to move around so much, and not to touch anything. My IV was out, too!

"Don't fidget," he said, "We'll bring breakfast up here in a bit, and then you can study some, OK?"

I nodded.

Dad and Henry both kissed me.

"Daddy loves you, Landen," He told me.

I finally got to hug him.

So that was the new routine for I-dunno-how-long.

I woke up, Canyon brought me a liquid breakfast. I was living on shakes and stuff. I'd study with the TV or books while he worked out, and sit there doing my work. Dr. Kent and Dad checked in on me a lot, and I had visitors every single day. Everyone came to see me, and Jeffie was his usual excited self. The first time he came, I saw he had on some kind of medical collar so he couldn't move his head at all, and his hands were in padded cuffs behind his back.

The kid was getting weirder by the day, I think.

They all brought me presents, too, but I wasn't allowed to open them until I was up again. That was just torture!

But Jeffie looked a lot firmer than he did before. I knew I had a lot of exercise to catch up on, too. If I laid in bed too long, I'd get soft again. And I'd just started to look good.

One thing that drove me crazy was the itching.

I noticed that right off. I couldn't scratch, and I wasn't allowed to watch when Dad changed my bandages and put stuff on my dick to treat my catheter. And I wanted that damn thing out! I could really feel it, and it was still confusing. I always felt like I was peeing the bed!

That, and the funny nozzle in my butt that kept me washed out was getting to me. It was bigger, you know, and if I clenched my ass on it, I'd get hard and feel like I wanted to cum so bad. But I couldn't do a damn thing about any of it!

I still had my 4PM nap, and all I could do was study.

Canyon was sleeping in the new room with me, now, though, and that made it a lot better. Just knowing he was there made me feel good. He called me 'the invalid', too, and we both laughed about that.

And he took care of me.

One day, when Dr. Kent was looking me over down there, he decided that it was finally time for me to get up.

I was ready to go, too!

Homework or not, I was bored out of my mind! I felt like I'd been in bed forever.

"You mean it?" I almost yelled.

"Yes, I think so, Martin, what do you say?" He asked Dad.

Dad nodded and smiled.

They let me loose, and took the nozzle out of me. Man, I felt 3; weird! It was like I was wide open, and emptier than before. Dr. Kent was taking care of that stuff, and I didn't pay attention. Dad got my catheter hooked to a leg bag.

"Take it out?" I almost begged. "Please?"

"Not quite yet, son," Dad told me.

Then he picked me up, hugged me, and kissed me for a while. He touched me all over, and when his hand touched me under my taped up outta-the-way little dick, I stiffened up all over.

It was so different!

His hand was touching where my balls used to be, and it was something new to feel!

I gasped.

Being hard with the catheter in kinda hurt, too.

"Come and see, Landen," Dad told me.

He put me on my feet, and my knees kinda gave. He had to help me walk to the bathroom. I mean, how long was it since I'd walked? I didn't have a clue. It felt funny, but I figured that was because I'd been in bed so long.

I looked in the long mirror on the back of the door.

There wasn't anything under my dick anymore.

No sac, no balls. It was like I'd been born without balls. The skin was kinda pink, still, but the scar line wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be. The stitches were all gone; they must have took them out while I was asleep.

"Go ahead and touch it," Dad smiled at me.

I did that.

"Whoa!" I said. It was wild! I'd never felt like that before.

Then Canyon was knocking on the door. "I want to see!" He was yelling.

I was still staring in the mirror with him by me, his arm around my shoulders. He touched it, too. I shivered.

"My beautiful boys!" Dad told us, and it got sorta stupid from there. I'd never seen him really cry before, but he did. I didn't know what to do. It scared me. "I must be the luckiest man alive!" He told us. Hugs and kisses, and then it was breakfast.

Man, I was hungry!

Solid food never tasted so good.

"We'll take the catheter out after lunch," Dad told me. "I want you to be awake and moving around, so you can know how it really feels!"

"Yes, sir," I told him, and it was all I could do to not keep a hand on my 'empty spot.'

It felt different to walk. It wasn't because I'd been in bed, either. I felt lighter, and with no plug in me yet, it was so 3; weird. That's all I can say about it. When you walk, you feel your balls, I guess. I had nothing down there to feel now. There was like – open space.

I liked it.

"It's just smashing, isn't it?" Canyon grinned. "But you get used to it pretty fast."

And I did.

The catheter came out that night at bath time, and that sucked! Dad deflated the balloon, and it took a minute for it to slide out. He had to help it a couple times, and it was just awful! It was like the inside of my dick, up inside, was on fire.

"It's going to be bloody awful when you have a pee," Canyon warned me.

"Bloody?" I asked him. I know THAT scared me!

"Not as in 'I'm cut and bleeding' blood," Canyon grinned, "I mean, very, very awful!" He laughed.

That was such a confusing word.

So, it was a bath and an enema, back to business as usual. The only problem was, I had a little accident on the way to bed. Just a little one.

"Your bladder has been held open for a month," Dad told me, holding up a diaper from the drawer. I just nodded and sighed and put it on. "You'll get full control back in time, son," he told me. "It's OK."

I was wet the next morning, and Canyon was right. The first accident hurt some, but when I peed for the first time, I screamed! It was like peeing fire. I was begging Dad to never make me wear a catheter again! I made him promise.

(I can't believe he agreed to that, either. To this day, I've never been cath'd again.)

I figured we were back to our normal routine. I was anxious to go outside, too. I mean, looking out the window just don't get it.

It was sunny when we went to go out. The grass was still green and all, but it wasn't hot. It wasn't cold, but it was enough to make me notice. Canyon laughed. The concrete of the patio was still warm, though, so we could lay in the sun and study.

The water in the pool was cooler, too!

Way cooler.

THAT woke me up fast! Talk about your dick shrinking!

"Just wait until there's snow," Canyon smirked at me. I just stared at him. "You've never been naked in the snow?" He asked. I didn't know if he was kidding or not. I didn't think he was.

(No, he wasn't – I found that out in December! You ever run laps in 6 inches [15 cm] of snow, naked, barefoot? Dad said it toughens you up.)

I got a surprise that night, too.

Everyone came over, and we had a small birthday party. I wasn't even sure what day it was, but Dad said we were both 13 now. We even had a cake with 26 candles, and blew them out at the same time. There were lots of presents, and even though I had to wear a diaper because I was having accidents, it wasn't so bad. Hell, poor Henry still had his catheter in with a leg bag, but he was up and about.

(Yeah, Mrs. Smith sent the cake over – chocolate fudge with fudge icing. Dad was in a panic, too! It was mowing the lawn in boots with the old manual mower to work it off!)

"So, who's up for the next step?" Dr. Kent asked us.

Me and Canyon just froze. The cake fell off my fork.

We were shaking our heads 'no'! They all just laughed. I'd never seen Henry laugh like that before, either. It was good to see him changed so much.

I think Jeffie was thinking about it, though. Then again, that was Jeffie, and Henry sure seemed happy, sitting there on his daddy's lap with frosting on his face.

OK, if you remember our last party, it was pretty much a repeat of all that, and I was sure ready for it. By the time I went to bed that night, I was so fucked that I figured I'd stay that way for a month! Me and Canyon had been doing what he called that '69' thing when we'd finally gave up and almost fell asleep. I wasn't getting all that hard after the first few times, and it was sure easier to cum when I was getting fucked and not trying to be jacked off or sucked.

Dad was the first one to make love to me that night, alone in the family room we hardly used. He wanted it to be something special, since it was my first time as a eunuch, and he made it just that. I won't tell you about it, because that's just for me and him.

I didn't think I'd ever get used to giving blowjobs, though. I brushed my teeth at least five times before bed. That was just gross.

The good thing about being castrated, Canyon said, was that WE wouldn't do that-shoot out all that junk. I had to agree with my brother on that one.

"I never had a blowjob," Kim told us, while him and Henry were cuddling. We were all just worn out. I mean, how often did you have twins turn 13, and both of them castrated? It was big deal, everyone said.

Maybe that's why they were all so damn horny?

Then again, I was too. I hadn't done ANYTHING in a month, and I was finding out just how hard it was to get off – now that I was a eunuch too. When Joe was done with me, and said he needed a drink, I wasn't done! That didn't seem fair at all.

When the party was over, and we were ready for bed, I saw something on the shelf. There were two little bottles. One said 'Canyon' on it, and the other one said 'Landen' on the label. They both had dates, and Canyon's smaller set was four years older than mine.

It was our balls.

Our balls were on the shelf in bottles!

That made us laugh for some reason.

It was like, "This is a model space shuttle I made, and a rocket that flies, and model 1980 TA from that movie, my balls, a cool rock I found, and what? Yeah, my balls are in that bottle. Wanna see?"

Tired as we both were, it took us a while to kiss each other goodnight.

Canyon told me how much he loved me, and cried again when he said he was sorry it took twelve years to find me.

"I love you too, little brother!" I told him.

Then Dad was hugging us, telling us again how proud he was of his twin eunuchs. He put us in the same bad that night, and that was something new.

I woke up the next morning with a damp diaper, but with a warm little body cuddled up next to mine. Our hands had been cuffed around each other's backs, and our ankles cuffed so that we'd went to sleep stuck in an all-night hug.

We couldn't see or hear each other when we woke up, but we could feel each other's bodies.

I held onto my brother so tight, and I could feel him laughing. I knew he could feel me too.

I didn't ever plan to let go of him.

There was a swat on the butt just then, and it was back to business as usual.

We had a schedule to follow – for the next five years.

"Good grief, boy, you need a haircut!" Dad greeted us that morning.

Epilogue

If you were paying attention, you'd know that it was back to the routine, right? Dad had to toughen me up after a month of bed rest, you know! It WAS back to the routine, weights and all. I learned how to fight, too. Canyon was a good teacher, and he'd learned from the best. We always went to the mall when Joe was on duty, and he got a kick out of seeing a couple of "angelic little eunuchs all in white kick the shit out of older, loud-mouth hooligans."

Rain or shine, winter or summer, we worked out and exercised outside, too. A pool is a lot of work, and so is a house that big on two lots. Yes, we did exercise naked in the snow! You should try it – it'll wake you up! We had a lot of field trips, too, and I even talked Dad into letting us join a soccer team the next summer. Canyon said it certainly wasn't rugby, but that it was a "bleedin' lot better than American football."

(That's where we met Andre, but he's another story!)

I could be mean and just say that we all lived happily ever after, but it's not like it's a fairy tale, now, is it? So here's what happened:

No, Jeffie never got his stump removed. By the time he was 16, he had to go on shots. He was getting too 'stringy' and had 'monkey arms', and by the time he was 19, he had a thick 6" [15 cm] dick, about like his Daddy's. He said he'd never trade it for the world, the first time he got to fuck someone. I guess it was as good for him as it was for me? It's funny, somehow, like Joe knew all along how he'd turn out. Just like his Daddy 3;

Mrs. Smith died when we were 15, and Mr. Smith didn't last a year after her. We took turns checking in on him from then on out. He said she'd fell over right there in the kitchen, mixing up a batch of cupcakes – for us, no less. The wake was a neat trick, but we managed it. Before he died, we went to see him in hospital. Together. He told us he always thought there were two of us. Sly old guy-but he never told.

I never ate cupcakes again.

We learned how to drive in the van, and since Mr. Fred had 'real' identities for us, we got our licenses when we were tall enough to reach the pedals.

Mr. Thomas died of a massive heart attack when Ty was 20. Ty never got shots, so he still looked like he was just a taller kid. I guess the drug abuse and being neglected so long stunted his growth, and Dad and Mr. Fred took care of him and his trust fund until he graduated college. Right after he graduated, he got on a plane with Mr. Anwar and his boy and went to live with him. Mr. A. said he'd have a brilliant career, since he was a 'nullo'. That was the first time I'd ever heard him called that, but it fit. I liked it.

(Ty became a pediatric urologist, by the way. Just so you know. He stopped growing at 5'2" [1.60 m}. He hated being called 'Doogie', too, but since I seldom watched prime time TV, I had no idea who that was.)

I lost track of the rest of my friends, and since they hated soccer, we never saw them again. We played out of town, you know, where no one knew that Canyon and Landen Poore weren't really who they were supposed to be.

I guess, in time, everyone forgot about Benjamin Daniel Pence, the boy who'd died in the house fire.

Evan Simonson, Scott's little brother, if you remember him? He became a dentist, married Margaret, and had about 18 kids, I think. I used to see him sometimes, when I went out to get the mail, getting on the school bus. He was only a few houses down, you know. He thought I was Canyon, and the whole neighborhood knew that 'he', or 'I', was a sickly boy who didn't go out much. Evan's mom never did get over Scott going missing, though, and I guess Evan was kinda overprotected. It was a big thing for him to come over sometimes, but we NEVER let on like we did Scott. I guess Dad didn't want Evan, and it was nice that he had at least one friend. Talk about strategy for hiding twins when HE came over!

Mickey and Bobbie didn't like college, and they took over for Bob when he got too old to hoist shingles. They both went on shots, and turned into things that looked like "The Incredulous Hulk, only not green," or so their boys called them. Another long story, but Petey was an orphaned cousin of Bob's from his niece, and Dev (short for Devlin) lived up to his name! Neutering a dog might calm him down, but it did nothing for the Terrible Twosome, as their dads called them. A lot of the time, they had both hand and ankle restraints on!

Henry and Kim eventually took over the law firm from Mr. Fredericks. Mr. Fred didn't do so well and started losing cases after his partner died. He never got another boy, and I thought that was sad. The boys never had boys of their own, but they fostered a lot of little girls in care over the years. I mean, it's not like they could molest them, or anything! Still, they spent some time with Mickey and Bobbie, too, so I guess their sexual needs – if they had them – were being met. Neither one of them ever got hormones, either. Being nullo's, why would they? You'd just be horny, and nothing you could do about it? Henry plumped up some by the time he was 15, but at least he had some meat on him. Poor kid liked to eat, and I can't blame him, being dumped in a shelter and homeless for so long.

As for me and my brother?

Well, we didn't study Spain all that time for nothing, you know.

That was where we went to college, and Dad sold the house in Kingfisher's right before we turned 18. I guess you could say we had a close call, and it was time to disappear. Kinda like Andre, though, that's another long story! Dad's 'network', as he liked to call it, kept us all in touch despite the distances, and we all managed to get together at least once a year with our old friends in the USA.

In case you're wondering, no, it's not hard to spot 'boys like us'. You just have to know what to look for!

We both got hormones after we got out of college. Dad let us live on campus, but we had to drive home when school was out. That, and you know he heard every word we ever said.

Yes, the collars were bugs, and he recorded it all. He always had.

My dick only made it to not quite 6" [15 cm], even though Dad was huge and said I was 'normal' for a white boy. We were both totally impotent by the time we were 14, too. One thing about it, we weren't distracted by sex and got top honors when we graduated. Canyon studied computers, and he got rich off of them, too. I went into writing, and my first novel (about a kidnapping, no less!) was a best seller. My plot about the exploding house, though, kinda pissed off some critics. I sold the movie rights for a LOT of money.

If only they knew!

I have a son and a nephew, of course, and Dad is the worst sort of Grandfather ever. He warned us – he'd get even for every gray hair we gave him. The boys come home from his place, and it's always "Well, Miguel has this, Miguel does that!" (He's their cousin. I guess you could say he's our step-brother?). Maybe I am a bit strict, but then again, structure is everything to a growing boy.

It was for me.

For as old as he is, Dad certainly keeps Miguel hopping. Most times when we see him, he's got that stupid grin on his face. (Yeah, he's castrated, too. It was his 9th birthday present.)

Oh, and in case you're wondering, no, I never regretted my decision to get castrated. Even after I found out I'd had a lot of hypno-therapy, it didn't bother me. See, I was loved back then, even spoiled, and I knew it. I was castrated, and it was clear that I WANTED it. If I'd even hinted at saying no when the red light was on, Dad would not have allowed it.

Being able to get hard and jack off, or fuck someone, isn't all there is to life and sex. My best feelings were when I was a teenager, and had to be fucked long and hard to be able to cum. And those hour-long, frustrating sessions with my brother were priceless, whether we got off or not. It wasn't that we never thought about it – it was that sometimes, we just COULDN'T! And that was the best part, funny as it sounds. We could make love forever, and sometimes never cum. It was so nice.

Even after hormones, I never had an interest in girls. But I was right when I was twelve – I was gay. No doubt about it. I had zero interest in girls.

The first time that Canyon and me had sex, after the hormones and our dicks were big enough to penetrate each other, was something else so special that I still tear up when I remember it.

I wouldn't change it at all if I could. If I hadn't been castrated, my life might have been a lot different and I might never have found little Diego when I did.

Hearing the words "Papá, te quiero," every morning reassures me that we all did the right thing. Diego is my whole world, even if he's not of my own blood.

I understand my father much better now.

Canyon is convinced, too.

"We had a happy childhood," he always says.

And we did.

I think so, at least, despite how 'weird' it was. If our boys have it half as good, and we'll do everything to make sure they have more, then we've succeeded.

My nephew Felipe (lover of horses, and he's aptly named, too!) is, you guessed, Canyon's son. Perhaps we 'grabbed' them a bit early, but scavenging around highway exits and living next door to each other on the edges of a slum isn't a life for a little boy.

Besides, no one missed them.

I knew they wouldn't.

It just seemed right, spiriting away two little neighbor boys in the middle of the night.

As I said, there are other stories, and Canyon and I certainly did have more adventures 'growing up eunuchs'. But there's not time for that now. Just this morning, I've been really distracted, and Canyon is almost beside himself.

It seems that Felipe asked him last night, just like Diego did me this morning, "¿Cuándo voy a ser un eunuco?"

I wonder if they're too young?

Devious little things, they are 3;

I blame this all on Miguel!

The End