Slammr

Zack

San Carlos Island story #3

Chapter 1
The Talent Scout

It wasn't like my life was that great before I met him. I was small for my twelve years and hadn't begun puberty like most of the other boys in my grade had. My dick, even hard, was only three inches [7½ cm] long, while Jamie Kosolas, my friend, sported a good six inches [15 cm]. Even he teased me about my little pecker. Too, he had hair above his dick and was growing it under his arms. Other than some fine, almost invisible, hairs on my arms and legs I had no body hair at all. That might not seem important. You might say, "Give it time. You'll go through puberty soon enough," but I had to shower after P.E. and was teased about the size of my dick every day.

Too, people said I was too pretty to be a boy. I kept my hair cut short, but still, strangers often mistook me for a girl. And I was gay. I was only twelve, but I knew I was gay. I couldn't take a shower with the other boys without getting hard, something else they teased me about. What else made me think I was gay? I sucked Jamie Kosolas's dick and liked doing it. But he told someone; and before long, it seemed that every kid in school knew I'd sucked it.

My family life wasn't much better. We were poor as shit. My dad couldn't keep a job, and when he had money, he gambled it away. PS 111, the school I attended then, was my third school that school year. We'd been evicted and had had to move twice already that year. We'd even spent some time in a homeless shelter.

Maybe still, it wouldn't have been so bad, but neither my mom or dad paid much attention to me. Other than an occasional whipping with my father's belt, they never really abused me, not what most people would call child abuse, but if they loved me, they never showed it. My dad wasn't a 'play a game of catch with his kid' type of guy. I spent most of my time at home either reading or watching TV.

Then, one day during P.E. I looked up and saw this guy looking at me. We were playing basketball, shirts against skins, and on the skins team, I had my shirt off, playing in just my gym shorts and gym shoes. Every time I looked up, he was staring at me. It was starting to freak me out before the game was over. He wasn't watching the game or the other guys; he was watching me. He never took his eyes off of me.

After the game – after I had stripped to take a shower – I looked up to see him staring at me again. They don't usually allow strangers into the locker room, but Coach Williams was with him. Coach motioned to me, calling me over. I wrapped a towel around myself before going over.

"Zack," said Coach, "this is Ken Anders. He's – shall we say – a talent scout. He's – uh – interested in you and might want to make you an offer, one that could make you and your parents wealthy. Come in to my office. He'd like to interview you."

"But," I said, "I have to take a shower, so I can get to my next class."

"You have the rest of the day off," said Coach. "Mr. Anders has cleared it with both Mr. Avery (our principal) and your parents. He'll be giving you a ride home." Then, he turned to Anders. "You know where my office is." He turned and walked off.

"Hi, Zack," Anders said, flashing me a smile. He put his hand on my shoulder. "Come on. Let's have a talk."

"Can I put on some clothes first?" I asked.

"No need for that," he said. "Part of the interview will be a physical examination – well not an examination really, but I need to have a good look at you, more than the glimpse I got when you stripped. The – uh – part I have in mind for you requires some nudity. Does that bother you?

I shrugged. It didn't used to bother me to be naked, not before other boys my age went through puberty, and I hadn't. Then, my mom was always telling me to put on some clothes. Now, I didn't want anyone to see how small my dick was.

I followed him into Coach's office with the towel still wrapped around my waist.

He sat down behind Coach's desk. I stood in front of it, still wrapped in the towel. There were no other chairs in Coach's office. "I might have a position for you at a private resort," he said, "one that will make both you and your parents rich. I've already talked to your parents, explaining what's involved, the terms – that you'd be away for two years, at least – and they've agreed. Now, it's up to you and me. Up to me, to decide that you're suited for this 3;" he hesitated, "job. Up to you to decide whether you want to go. Drop the towel."

"What?" I asked. I thought Anders might be some kind of weirdo, the way he'd looked at me, maybe one of those guys that like boys. But that thought excited me, too. Would he want me to suck his dick? Would he want to fuck me? Would he do it here, in Coach's office?

"You're a good looking kid," he said, but like I said, the position I have in mind for you requires some nudity, and I need to see what you look like nude. I got a glimpse when you stripped out in the locker room, but I need to take a closer look. You haven't begun puberty yet, have you?

I felt my face burn, but I shook my head. "No," I mumbled.

"Good," he said. "I couldn't use you, if you had. You're older than most boys I take, but you're small for your age; and you are beautiful.

"I'm not beautiful," I said.

"Actually, you are. I don't guess boys like to be told they're beautiful, but you are. But, in this case, that's a good thing. We wouldn't be having this conversation, if you weren't. Now, will you take off the towel, and let me have a look at you?"

I dropped the towel. Ken Anders was a guy it was hard to say 'no' to. He was movie star handsome, in his twenties I guess; but more than that, it was the way he talked, like he expected to be obeyed. He'd even used that tone with Coach. I dropped the towel, even though I was embarrassed to have him see my little dick and that I had a hard-on. I'd had one ever since I'd walked into the office.

When he looked at my dick, I covered it with my hand. It was sticking straight out. "Uh – uh, he said, hands down to your side, please." He got up from behind Coach's desk and walked around to kneel in front of me, cupping my balls in his hand. Jamie had jacked me off before, but this was the first time I could remember having an adult touch me – touch me down there, anyway.

He took a long look, examining my dick and my balls, and ran his hand over the bare skin above my dick. "Good," he said, "No sign of puberty. As old as you are, I was afraid you might have started it. I couldn't use you, if you had."

"What kind of position do you have?" I asked. I already had an idea. I knew what went on in the world, that there were men that liked to have sex with boys.

"San Carlos Island is a resort for men – men that like boys. All the boys we have are beautiful, just as you are. Our clients are rich and pay dearly to spend a few days with one of our boys. I'm prepared to offer you a million credits for a two year contract."

My jaw dropped. "A million credits? What do I have to do?"

"What do you think?" he said.

"Suck dick – maybe – maybe get fucked." I said.

He smiled. "Would that be so bad? I understand you've sucked a little dick already."

I looked down, my face burning again. With his hand on my chin, he tilted my face up, forcing me to look at him again. "You did, didn't you?"

"Yeah," I mumbled.

"Did you like it?"

"I guess," I said.

He stepped behind me, locking the door to Coach's office, unbuckled his belt and dropped his pants and underwear. His dick was already hard. It must have been at least seven inches [18 cm] long, bigger than Jamie's, anyway. "Show me," he said. "Show me how you sucked that boy's dick."

I looked around at the door. It was locked, but I guess I could have screamed or something; but I didn't. I wanted to suck his dick. Like I said, he was movie star handsome, and he had a beautiful dick. I'd never thought of dicks as being beautiful before, but his was. I bent over to take his dick into my mouth. I found myself wanting to please him; but I didn't know much about cock sucking actually. I'd only sucked Jamie's that one time, and he'd shot almost as soon as he'd stuck his dick in my mouth. Somehow, I didn't think Anders would.

"Wait," Anders said. He sat down on the floor, kicking off his pants and taking off his shirt. Soon, he was naked, too. He held out his arms for me, and I stepped into them. He had hair on his chest. It tickled me, but it felt good for him to hold me. I don't think my dad had ever held me. Then Anders kissed me. I know my dad had never kissed me – not ever. It surprised me when he ran his tongue into my mouth, but I liked it and stuck mine into his mouth. After a minute of kissing, he said, "OK, let's see what you can do."

I could feel his dick probing my asshole. Without even thinking about it, without consciously wanting him to fuck me, I squirmed, trying to take his dick into my hole, like that's where it was meant to be, like that's what my hole was made for.

"No," he said. "You're not ready for that yet. I'm pretty big. I'd hurt you. Just suck my cock."

I slid down, taking it into my mouth. He told me what to do; and when he was about to cum, he said, "I'm going to cum. Swallow it. The clients like for you to swallow their cum. I felt his hot cum hit the back of my throat. I gagged a little at first, but I swallowed it – or most of it, anyway. I'd spit Jamie's out. I didn't like the taste of it then, like I do now.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" he said, wiping a drop of his spunk off the corner of my mouth. I shook my head.

"If you stay here, you'll be letting men fuck you. You know that, don't you?"

After a moment, I nodded. I knew I would. I wanted a man to fuck me. I wanted a man to love me. My father never had. I wondered what it would be like to have my father fuck me. Jamie would probably fuck me – hell, I knew he would fuck me – but I wanted a man to do it. I wanted Anders to do it.

"We'll pay you a lot more than you could sell yourself for here. And you'll love San Carlos Island. It's a paradise, beautiful beaches and warm the year round. No one ever wears clothes on San Carlos Island. Would it bother you to be naked all the time?"

"Would the other boys tease me for having a small pecker?"

He laughed. "No. None of our boys have gone through puberty. You're older than most, anyway, and we don't let our boys go through puberty. You'll have more dick than most of them."

"How do you keep them from going through puberty?" I asked.

"Oh, there's drugs that will do that," he said. "Does that bother you, the idea of not going through puberty?"

"I guess I was looking forward to it," I said.

"Do you cum now?" I know you probably don't ejaculate, but do you have an orgasm when you masturbate?"

"I guess," I said. "It feels real good."

"You still will. The drugs we'll give you will make it even easier for you to orgasm. The boys tell me it's great. Do you want to come with me?"

"You'll really pay me a million credits?"

"Yes. You'll actually make more than that. You treat a client right and he'll tip you, maybe a thousand credits or more, if he really likes you."

A thousand credits! I don't think I'd ever had five in my pocket at one time. It'd take my dad, even when he worked, a month to make a thousand credits. If I let some guy in the park fuck me, I probably wouldn't get more than ten or twenty credits. That's what I'd heard the going rate was, and Anders was right, if I didn't go with him, I would be letting some guy in the park fuck me. I'd already considered it. "I'll go," I said. "When do we leave?"

"Now – today," he said. "Your parents have already signed the papers signing over their parental rights to you. We'll stop by and let you say, "Goodbye," to them, then we'll hop a plane to San Carlos Island."

"They gave me up?" I said. "Do they know what I'll be doing?"

"They know," said Anders. "They know everything." He stressed the word, 'everything'. I didn't pick up on it at the time. It was only later that I realize the significance of the stress he put on the word.

"Do I have to go home first? Do I have to see my parents?

"No. Not if you don't want to," he said.

"I don't want to see them."

"You ready to go to the island, then?"

"Yes," I said.

"I have some papers for you to sign; then we'll be on our way. Let me get Coach Williams to witness your signature." In a moment the was back with Coach. Anders pulled some papers out of his briefcase, flipping to the last page. There was a blank line below the signatures of my parents and another blank line with 'witness' written under it. He shoved the papers in front of me. "Sign here," he said pointing to the line.

"What am I signing?" I asked, already scribbling my signature.

"That you'll belong to San Carlos Island for the next two years, that San Carlos Island with have full parental rights to you."

"Does he know what he's getting into?" asked Coach Williams.

"He knows enough," said Anders, in a tone that shut Coach's mouth. I'd already signed by then. I hadn't bothered to read what I'd signed. I seen enough of it to know that I'd probably never understand all the legal shit anyway; besides, what was there to know that Anders hadn't told me? I knew I was signing on to be a boy whore. I supposed that was what had Coach all upset.

We didn't even stop at my house for my clothes. Anders bought me some for the flight; and I wouldn't need any on San Carlos Island, would I?"

We flew out on a charted flight. Other boys, all younger than I – all beautiful. That was really the only term to describe them; although I wouldn't have thought to use it before that day, before having heard Anders use it to describe me and other boys. Some were with what I took to be their parents; some were with a man I took to be another agent like Anders.

Chapter 2
San Carlos Island

We landed; and once in the terminal, Anders took me through a door. "Well, Zack," he said, "this is where I'll be leaving you." I saw a woman walking toward us. She had Asian features.

"I thought there weren't any women on San Carlos Island," I said.

"Oh, there's a few among the staff." Then he introduced me. "Anchalee," he said to the woman, "this is Zack." Turning to me, he said, "Go with Anchalee, Zack. She's a nurse. She'll be giving you some shots. Can't have you introducing any strange diseases to San Carlos, can we?"

"Shots?" I said, wrinkling my nose.

She smiled. "Don't worry," she said, "they won't hurt..

We walked through a clinic. I saw some of the other boys I'd seen on the plane. Once we were in a treatment room, she asked, "How old are you Zack?"

"Twelve," I said.

"That's older than most of the boys we get," she said. "You haven't started puberty yet?"

My face burned. For some reason, it embarrassed me to have a woman ask me that; but I shook my head.

"Good," she said, "Take off your clothes and let me have a look at you."

"In front of you?" I asked. I had another woody and didn't want her to see it.

"Didn't Mr. Anders tell you that no one wears clothes on San Carlos Island?"

"You have clothes on."

"I have to go in and out of the terminal to greet boys. That's the only place on the Island where anyone wears clothes. Now, take them off. You might as well get used to it. You won't wear any for the rest of the time you're on the island."

Turning my back to her, I took them off. She turned me around, her hand on my shoulder. I covered my crotch with my hand. "What are you hiding there," she said, pulling away my hand. She laughed when she saw my erection. "Don't be embarrassed," she said. "If I had a Nickel for ever hard pecker I've seen on a boy, I'd never have to work again. Now, let me have a look."

Sitting me on the table, she had me lie down while she examined my crotch. "Good," she said, afterward, "No sign of puberty yet." She gave me a shot on each side of my dick and one on my ball sac. I supposed they were the shots to keep me from going through puberty. I didn't like the idea of not going through puberty for two more years, but for a million credits, I guessed it was worth it.. She was right; the shots didn't hurt. Then she pulled out a hypodermic, one with a long needle on it.

"That's a big needle," I said.

"I have to inject your testicles," she said, "but don't worry. You won't feel a thing. That's what the first shots were for, to deaden you down there."

"You're going to stick that in my balls?" I said, more than a hint of panic in my voice.

"It won't hurt," she said.

"Is that to keep me from going through puberty?" I asked.

"Oh, yes," she said. "It will definitely keep you from going through puberty.

I watched as she injected one of my balls, my right ball first I think, then picked up another hypodermic and injected my other ball. Next, she injected my dick with a third hypodermic. My dick, soft now, was numb. I didn't feel her hand on it, or feel her give me the shot. "All through," she said. "You'll be back in a month or so for the rest of the procedure."

"What procedure?" I asked.

"Oh, I'll let one of the boys that's had it done tell you. One of them will be waiting for you in the lobby. He'll show you around and introduce you to your trainer."

"My trainer?" I asked.

"Oh, yes," she said, "You'll have to be trained before you start to take on clients."

Then, she pulled a gold collar out of a drawer and snapped it around my neck. "What's that?" I asked.

"It's a slave collar," she said. "You're property of San Carlos Island now. We own you. Didn't you read the contract you signed?"

I shook my head.

"I thought not. Most boys don't, I guess. Well," she continued, "the contract you and your parents signed gives Ben Toeber, the owner of San Carlos, full property rights to you. He can't kill you, of course, but he can – uh – modify you."

"The shots, you mean, the ones that keep me from going through puberty?" I asked.

"Yes, the shots," she said. "Come into the bathroom. I have to give you an enema. Have you ever had an enema?"

"No," I said.

"Do you know what an enema is?" she asked.

"That's when they squirt water up your ass, isn't it?"

"Yes," she said. "You'll be having at least one every day. We have to keep you cleaned out for the clients."

I went into the bathroom and she gave me an enema, squirting warm water up my hole until the water coming out was clear. Then she took me out to the lobby.

Chapter 3
Chris

"Hi," he said. "I'm Chris. You're Zack, I understand. Welcome to San Carlos Island, Zack." He held out his hand for me to shake it. I held out mine, but it was limp in his grasps, and I was staring at his crotch. He laughed. "Never seen a nullo before?"

"A nu-nullo?" I stammered.

"Yeah, a nullo like me. That's what we call ourselves, nullos, because we've been nullified – you know – had our dicks and balls cut off."

"They cut off you dick and balls?" I said. "Can they do that here?"

"Oh, yes," he said, "the contract you and your parents signed gives them the right to cut off your dick and balls."

"Why did they do that to you?" I asked.

"That's San Carlos Island's specialty, nullified boys. Almost all the boys here have been nullified."

"I don't want them to nullify me," I said. "I don't want them to cut off my dick and balls."

"Did she shoot up your balls?" he asked.

"Yes," I said. "She injected them with something."

"Did she shoot up your dick, too?"

I nodded, worried.

"Then, you're being nullified," he said. "Your balls are as good as dead, and your dick is going to shrink up. In a month or so they'll cut both off."

"Can't they stop it from happening?"

"Not once they shoot you up. Your balls are already dying; and all the stuff that makes your dick hard is going to dissolve. I'm afraid you've had your last hard-on. Do you jack off?"

I nodded, too shocked to do or say anything else.

"Well, you won't anymore, not like before, anyway. Your dick's just a tube of skin after today. You won't have much feeling in it. Do you cum when you jack off."

I nodded again.

"You'll still cum, easier than before. Believe me, sex is better for a nullo than it is for a boy. You'll be able to cum by just rubbing yourself." He ran his hand over his empty crotch. "They don't just cut off your dick and balls, they genetically alter you. I don't know exactly how they do it, but it makes you horny as hell. It's nothing for me to get off five or six times a day; but I always was a little slut. I was jacking off before I was four."

"How do you know it's better for a nullo?" I asked. "You don't look like you've ever been through puberty. Have you ever shot?"

"No, I was nullified when I was eight. None of us will ever be able to shoot. Nothing comes out when you cum, other than a little clear fluid like precum, but you still climax; and I've had enough clients shoot either into my ass or into my mouth to know that my orgasms are better than theirs. Most of them give a little grunt, then it's all over for them. It takes me several minutes to recover from one of mine."

I was crying by then, thinking about my balls dying. We were walking down the hallway together. Other nullified boys passed us in the hallway. Actually, every boy that passed us was nullified. Not one of them had either dick or balls. They'd look at me an grin and say, "Hi," to Chris. A few of them said, "Hey, a newbe."

Chris took me to my room. "This will be your room," he said. "Do you want me to stay with you, or I can come back to get you in time for dinner? It's not like you have to unpack or anything." He laughed.

"You can stay," I said. I didn't want to be alone. I'd just been told my balls and dick were going to be cut off. I didn't want to be by myself. "What's it like?

"What's what like – servicing clients?" he said.

"That, too; but what's it like to be a nullo? Don't you wish you still had your dick and balls?"

"I've been a nullo for more than four years," he said. "I've forgotten what it was like to have a dick, and my balls, small like yours, weren't doing much for me anyway. Believe me, you won't miss them. After a while, you won't miss your dick, either. I don't miss mine. I love being a nullo. That doesn't mean I don't like dicks, but I like them up my hole or in my mouth. I don't need a dick hanging from me."

He sat down on my bed next to me, and reaching over, picked up my dick. "Too bad they already shot you up," he said. "or I would have let you fuck me. Your dick's not much, and I probably wouldn't have even felt it, but it might have been nice for you to have one fuck while it still worked." My dick was a limp noodle in his hand. I could feel his hand on it, but just barely. The numbness was just wearing off.

"I started crying again. "I don't want them to cut it off."

"I didn't either," he said, "before they cut off mine, but at least you're lucky. By the time they cut off yours, your balls will already be dead and shriveled up; and your dick will have shrunk up, too. There won't be much to get cut off. They cut my balls off in the Arena without any pain shit or anything. Believe me, it hurt like hell. You're lucky they don't do that any more."

"What did they do that for?" I asked.

"Some clients we had then would pay extra to see a boy have his balls cut off."

"Why don't they do it now?" I asked.

"We had some shit happen a few years ago. Now, Ben won't let guys that like to see boys hurt on the Island. If a client even hits a boy, he's sent packing."

"And you really don't mind 3;" I hesitated, looking down at his smooth crotch, "being like that – a nullo."

"I love being a nullo," he said. "Look at yourself, at that little dick and balls hanging from your crotch; then look at me. Tell me I don't look better. Tell me I'm not hot. Can't you see why clients like nullos, why they'll pay extra for us?"

I looked at him. I felt a stirring in my groin, ever though my dick didn't so much as twitch. It should have been hard, if what I was feeling in my groin was any indication, that feeling I always had when it was hard; but it wasn't hard. If anything, my dick was smaller than it usually was. But then, before the shot, it had been hard most of the time. I couldn't believe that it never would be again. But he was right. He was hot. His smooth crotch turned me on.

"Do you want to touch me?" Pointedly, he looked down. I nodded. He took my hand and placed it on his smooth crotch.

He was smooth. I couldn't feel so much as a scar. "How do you pee?" I asked.

He moved my hand down between his legs. I could feel a small opening. "That's my pee hole," he said.

"You have to sit down to pee?" I asked.

"Sure. No big deal. You pee sitting down sometimes, don't you?"

"Yeah, I guess, I said.

"Then, you just do it that way all the time. I don't know why boys are so hung up on peeing standing up."

"It's something girls can't do," I said. "It makes us different."

"So, you won't be able to pee standing up – unless you want it running down you leg," he laughed, "but, believe me. It's not that big a deal. Girls deal with it. You will, too."

I was rubbing his crotch while we talked. "Hey," he said, "you're turning me on. You want to lick my pee hole. I get off on that. At least you won't have to worry about me shooting in your mouth."

"That wouldn't bother me," I said, thinking about how Anders had shot into it.

"That's good," he said. "I'll bet I swallowed a gallon of the stuff since I've been on the island and had another gallon of it shot up my hole."

"I licked his pee hole; and in a minute he came. Nothing shot out, but he definitely came; and if it was as good as it seemed to be, I couldn't wait to have one myself.

We lay in bed talking a cuddling until it was time for dinner. With Chris with me, I wasn't so scared about being nullified. He told me it wouldn't hurt, that I'd heal up real fast.

Chapter 4
Matti

"Get that thing cut off," some other nullo said.

"Yeah, it's no good for nothing, anyway," another said.

I looked around, comparing them to the boys that still had dicks and had to admit they looked better. I guess a dick and balls hanging off a boy, especially off a prepubescent boy, look pretty ridiculous anyway. I was almost ashamed of mine. I looked down at my dick.

Chris laughed.

"What are you laughing at?" I asked.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I just can't get used to seeing a dick and balls on a boy. Here, only clients, staff, and trainers have dicks and balls, and they're real cocks and balls, not useless tubes. I don't remember the last time they let a boy keep his dick. All of us sluts are nullified now. I mean 3; look at it. Have you ever seen anything that looks more ridiculous than that dick and two balls hanging from your crotch. Look at yourself; then look at me. Wouldn't you rather be smooth like me – like them?" He indicated the other nullos with a tilt of his head.

"I don't know. Maybe," I said. "Why do you call yourself a slut?"

"Isn't that what we are?" he said. "We fuck and suck and can't get enough of it. I don't care who I have for a client, as long as he has a cock, and the bigger one he has, the better. Fuck, I'm getting horny just thinking about it."

He was making me horny talking about it, and I hadn't even been fucked yet.

While I was eating, one of the boys I'd seen on the plane – he was probably eight or nine – came over to my table. He started crying. "Are they really going to cut off our peckers?" he asked me.

"Did they stick a needle in your balls?" I asked. He nodded. "Then they're going to cut them off. Hey, it's not so bad. They're going to cut mine off, and you don't see me crying, do you?" I didn't tell him about all the crying I'd done earlier.

"You don't care that they're going to cut them off?" he asked.

"I don't care," I said. "Hell, I want them cut off." I almost convinced myself. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, especially since they'd already killed them, if what Chris had told me was true; and I had no reason to doubt him. I hadn't had a hard-on since my dick and balls had been shot up.

Then I heard a stir among the other boys – the nullos, I mean, remembering what Chris had told me, "We're nullos. We're not boys. We're definitely not boys." Looking up, I saw that a boy had come into the room – a real boy, one with a dick – an adult size dick – and two big balls in his sac. Like the rest of us – like all of us – he was naked; but he had on a red collar, not a gold or green one. He looked about eighteen.

He had brown pubic hair that matched the hair on his head, and I saw tufts of hair under his arms. He was beautiful, maybe not beautiful the way Anders had meant I was beautiful, because there was no doubt he was a boy. No one, even if he were dressed, would mistake him for a girl. He waved in our direction and headed for our table.

"Who's that?" I asked Chris, out of the corner of my mouth. What's that, a god? I wanted to ask.

"That's Matti, your trainer," he said.

The nurse had mentioned that I'd have a trainer. I wondered how he would train me. I looked at his cock, swinging back and forth as he walked toward us. Would he use that to train me? I hoped he would. I was turned on just looking at it and wondered how big it would be hard. I wondered if the drugs Chris had told me they give us were already working. It seemed that everything turned me on, the smooth crotches of the nullos, looking at the other boys like me, knowing that they were about to lose their dicks and balls, now, the swinging dick of the boy approaching our table. Without realizing what I was doing at the time, my hand dropped to my crotch and began pulling on my dick. Chris looked at me and laughed, "He does that to me, too. You're lucky to have Matti as a trainer." It was only then that I realize that I was jacking off while everyone watched – not that it was doing me much good. My dick didn't even get hard.

Matti stood in front of me, looking down at my crotch, at my hand pulling on my dick. My face burned, and I turned loose of my dick. He laughed. I loved the sound of his laughter, even though it was directed at me. "That won't do much for you any longer," he said, "but don't sweat it. I'll teach you other ways to get off. Several of the nullos, seeing what I was doing and hearing what Matti said, laughed also.

"I need some instruction, Matti," one of them said, "Will you show me how to get off."

"Fuck you, Blair, you little slut. From what your clients say about you, you don't have any trouble in that department. If anything, you cum too easily. You need to learn to pace yourself."

"Well, teach me that, then," said the kid he'd called Blair. I could do more for you than that little cherry. It'll be a week before you have that hole of his loosened up enough for that big dick of yours. If you need one in the meantime, mine's always available.

It was weird sitting there listening to the other boys – nullos, I mean – talk. All they talked about was sex. Back at my old school, me and the other boys talked about sex, but not like that. I never said to another boy that I wanted him to fuck me or to let me suck his dick. I never even told Jamie I wanted to suck his dick. He was letting me jack him off, and it'd just seem to be the natural thing to do, to take his dick into my mouth. Then, he'd shot almost right away; and that had ended that. It had caught us both by surprise. He hadn't expected me to give him head, and I hadn't expected to get a mouth full of cum. I'd gagged and spit it out, saying, "What did you shoot in my mouth for?"

"Hey, man," he'd said, I didn't know you were going to suck me off.

"Well, don't tell anybody I did, OK?"

"OK," he'd said, but he had, and I'd got the rep of the gay boy that sucks cock. Everyone knew; Anders even knew about it.

"I'm Matti," the boy said, holding out his hand to me.

I looked down at my hand, turning it palm up. I'd just had it wrapped around my dick – well, two fingers of it, anyway – and didn't know whether I should shake his hand with it. As if he could read my thoughts, he said, "It's OK, you can shake it. I don't care where your hand has been. On San Carlos Island, sex isn't dirty. Wait until you go to the beach. You'll see clients fuck their nullos, not caring how crowded the beach is.

"You can fuck me right here and now," said the kid named Blair. "Let's show your trainee how it's done." He was now standing next to Matti. He couldn't have been older than ten. He was smaller than I was.

"You couldn't handle it," said Matti.

"I've had bigger ones than yours," he said. "How big does that thing get, anyway?" Reaching over, he began stroking Matti's dick. It stiffened in his hand.

"Blair, I'm going to throw you on the floor and fuck you in front of everyone," Matti said.

"Do it 3; Do it," the nullos chanted.

I sat, staring at Matti's cock growing in Blair's grasp. Soon, it was at least seven inches [18 cm] long, bigger than Jamie's, maybe even bigger than Anders'

"OK, you asked for it," Matti said. He flipped Blair onto his back on the floor. Blair raised his legs. I could see his hole, slightly open already, as if anticipating Matti's cock. Matti knelt down, then slid forward, sliding his dick into Blair's hole. In fascination, I watched his ass – his beautiful ass – rise and fall as his dick slid in and out of Blair's hole. It seemed that every nullo and boy in the room was gathered around watching. Many were standing on benches and even on the tables to get a better view.

After a moment or two, Blair came, "Oh 3; oh 3; oh, oh ,oh," he moaned, the moans starting out slow, then increasing in tempo. But Matti didn't quit. He kept thrusting his dick into Blair's hole. Soon, Blair came again – then again – and again. I lost count of how many or was unable to distinguish one orgasm from another. After what seemed a very long time, Blair said, "Enough. I can't take any more. Please stop."

"I told you you couldn't handle me, Blair," Matti said.

It was only then, that Matti came. I saw him shudder and stiffen as he shot his load into Blair's ass. I know he shot, because when he pulled out, some of his cum seeped out of Blair's hole. Blair still had his legs up, and his hole, still open a little, leaked Matti's cum.

Chris whispered to me, "That's why Matti's such a good trainer. He has almost complete control over when he's going to cum. He'll make sure you have an orgasm before he does."

I didn't know what to say. I'd just seen someone get fucked for the first time in my life, and had seen it done in the cafeteria with dozens of nullos and boys watching – I was beginning to think of them as nullos, not boys – what's more, I wished it had been me on the floor getting fucked, not Blair, even if everyone had been watching. If Matti would fuck me, I wouldn't care if God and my parents watched while he did.

Matti grabbed a napkin off the table and wiped off his dick. A couple of nullos helped Blair to his feet. "Had enough, Blair?" Matti asked.

Blair nodded. He didn't say anything – he probably couldn't speak yet – he just nodded.

"Told you you were going to have to learn a little more self control. A good slut controls his client's orgasms and his own. It's your job to please your clients not their job to please you." The nullos that had helped Blair up, led him back to his seat.

"Sorry," Matti said, sitting down beside me, "but he needed to be taught a lesson. He cums too quickly. Clients like for their nullos to cum, but not before they do. It's all a matter of timing. Unfortunately, either Blair's trainer never taught him that, or Blair's incapable of learning it.

"I thought you were going to kill him," I said.

"Oh, he's young, with a strong heart," said Matti. "No kid on San Carlos has ever died from an over indulgence of sex. We've had some clients that have, but no kids. Now, tell me, what do you think about becoming a nullo?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. I didn't like the idea of it at first, but maybe it's not so bad. I think I'd still rather have a 3;" I hesitated, looking down at his lap. His cock, limp now, was half hidden between his balls and his leg. "I'd rather have a cock like yours."

Matti sighed. "I'm going to tell you something weird. I always wanted to be a nullo like you. Even when I was little, I hated having a dick and balls. I even tried to cut them off more than once, but was never able to go through with it. You want to keep yours and you're having them cut off. I wanted to have mine cut off, but had to keep them. I never wanted to go through puberty, but look at me. He tugged at his pubic hair."

"Don't you like fucking?" I asked. "It looked like fun. My dick won't even get hard anymore. I'll never know what it's like to fuck someone."

"It's OK," said Matti. "It's the only way I can cum. I've let other trainers fuck me; and I can't cum that way. I have to fuck someone or have someone suck my cock to be able to cum. I heard what Chris said, about my control," he inclined his head toward Chris, who next to me, was listening, "but that's not it, really. Anymore, I have to really concentrate to be able to cum at all. I can't even cum jacking off. Only nullos get me off – or boys that I know are going to become nullos. Take yourself, for instance. It turns me on to know you're going to get cut, to know that this time next month you'll be smooth like Chris. Knowing that, you turn me on; but if you were going to keep your boy parts, you wouldn't do anything for me."

"Do I have to wait?" If it took my being a nullo for Matti to like me, I wanted to become one. I wanted him more than I wanted my dick and balls. I glanced down at them in disgust. I wished they were gone.

"They'll be gone before you know it," Matti said, grinning. There's less scarring – less chance of complications – if we let them shrink up before they're cut off. By the time your balls are cut off, they'll be dead and no bigger than peas.

"Are you going to start training me today?" I asked. Although no one had yet told me what training would entail, from what I'd seen Matti do to Blair, I guessed that fucking was part of it; and I wanted to be fucked. I had wanted Anders to fuck me. I sure as hell wanted Matti to fuck me.

"No," said Matti. "You have orientation and a tour of San Carlos Island tomorrow; and you have to enroll in school. It'll probably be a couple of days before we start your training. I want you to start wearing butt plugs, though. Chris will show you how to insert them. You'll put in a little bigger one each day. If I tried to fuck you now, I might hurt you. You've never been fucked before, have you?"

I shook my head. Strangely, I was ashamed that I hadn't been, that I was cherry like Blair had said.

"Then, we've got to get you stretched out first," he said.

Chapter 5
A New Life

I sat down on it, letting it slide into my ass, then pressed the button. It shot warm water up my ass. "Do it until the water coming out is clear," said Chris. Always have an enema in the morning and before meeting with a client. No client likes to get shit on his dick. I'd advise one at night, too. You're going to be wearing butt plugs, and if one slips out while you're asleep, you might wake up with shit on your sheets.

Once I was cleaned out, he lubed up a butt plug and stuck it up my ass. Actually, I liked how it felt.

Then we played video games for a while. Each boy's room, I was to learn, was equipped with a holographic TV and a Playstation 33. Up until now, the only place I'd ever seen either was in stores. Chris showed me the movie channels. "You can get the latest movies" he said, "even the ones not released for home viewing yet. Ben has a contract with all the major motion picture studios. We get them as soon as they come out."

After we'd played games for a while, Chris said, "You want to fool around a bit?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Hey," he said, "I haven't been fucked all day. I need a good fucking to be able to sleep tonight."

I looked down at my limp dick, scarcely an inch [2 cm] long, as shrunken up as it was. Even without trying, I knew that it had no chance of getting hard. Although I was turned on, it wasn't. "You know I can't get hard," I said. Even if I could have, from what Chris had told me about liking big cocks, I don't think I could have done him much good.

"You don't have to," he said. Walking over to some drawers built into the wall, he opened one, taking out an enormous dildo attached to a harness. He fitted the harness around my hips, so the dildo stuck out from my crotch, just as a real cock would have. "See," now you can fuck me." He lay down on the bed, and after a try or two, I slid the dildo into his hole, thrusting like I'd seen Matti do with Blair. Before long, Chris came; but when I slowed down, intending to quit, thinking he was through, he said, "No, keep going." He had two more orgasms before he let me quit.

"Can you do me?" I asked afterward.

He looked down at the dildo that still stuck out from my groin. He laughed. "Not with that dildo. It would rip you apart. Give me a minute and I"ll check to see if there's a smaller one in the drawer. I don't guess Matti would be pissed off if I gave you your first fuck."

"I could check," I said.

"OK," he said. "It's going to take me a minute or two to recover from that fucking you gave me."

I looked through the drawer, holding up one dildo, then another. Each time, Chris shook his head, "Nope, too big." I'd about given up when I found one smaller than the rest. "Maybe," he said. "If we lube it up real good, it might work. Bring it over here. And grab a tube of lube out of the drawer. It's in a white tube with blue lettering one it." I grabbed the tube and took it and the dildo over to him.

"Lie down on your stomach," he said. I did, and he took the butt plug out of my ass. I watched over my shoulder as he lubed up the dildo. When he tried to insert it, I grimaced – it hurt – but kept my face turned away from him, so he couldn't see my grimace. "It's pretty big," he said, "and you have a tight, virgin, asshole. I'm not sure it's going to work. Does it hurt?"

"No," I said through clenched teeth, "keep going." I gasped as the dildo slid into my ass.

"You sure you're OK?" he asked.

"Yeah 3; I'm OK," I said. He removed the dildo from my ass as I took off the harness. Then he fitted the dildo on it and put the harness on himself.

"Lie down on your back and raise your legs," he said. "I'm not used to fucking someone with balls, but I don't guess it would hurt them, if I bang against them anyway. They're dead by now. Are they sore?"

"A little I guess; so is my dick."

"Want a pain pill? Considering you've just had your dick and balls shot up, all you have to do is tell the computer, and one will pop out of that chute over there." He pointed to a plastic chute beside the computer screen. The only computer I'd ever used before had a keyboard as an input to it. This one, Chris told me, you just spoke to.

"No, I'm OK. Maybe later."

"Well, I'll try not to pound against your balls," he said. "It's been a long time since I fucked a boy that still had any."

"Do you fuck other nullos like this?" I asked.

"All the time. You won't have clients every day; but still you're horny as hell. We nullos use the dildos to get each other off. They're not as good as a real dick, but they're better than nothing."

"Doesn't it bother you that you're a boy – OK, a nullo," I said, when he wrinkled his nose after I'd called him a boy, "and grown men pay to fuck you. I mean 3; I 'm queer. I've know I was for years; and I want to be fucked by you – by Matti," I added, "but the idea of some grown man wanting to fuck me kind of weirds me out. Aren't they some kind of weirdoes to want to fuck a boy. Aren't they even more weird to get off on fucking nullified boys?"

Chris shrugged. "I don't know," he said. "I don't think about it much. They want to fuck, I want to get fucked, and I get rich letting them fuck me."

"But, if you hadn't come to San Carlos Island, would you have let men fuck you?

"I don't know," he said, "I was only eight. I probably would have. It didn't take me long to get into it after I came to the Island, and they weren't giving us the drugs they are now, the ones that keep you horny and deter the side effects of castration. Scientists working for Ben actually developed those drugs. But, like I said, I was always a little slut. Probably the only reason I hadn't been fucked by some guy back home was that none had offered to do it yet. If you're talking about the morality of it, let the politicians worry about that. It's no longer illegal to have sex with kids. It might be against some community standards, but it's not illegal, certainly not illegal here on San Carlos Island. Now, do you want to fuck, or do you want to talk? If you want to talk, I'll take this ridiculous fucker off me. I don't even like having a pretend dick."

"I want to fuck," I said.

"The raise your legs," he said.

I raised my legs, and he slid between them. I felt the dildo press against my hole. Chris thrust, rotating his hips as he did. My asshole resisted; it hurt some; but then it was inside me. In spite of the initial pain, it felt great. I moaned, "Oh, oh, I like it."

"I thought you would," he said, pounding the dildo into my hole. Before long I came. He was right. Any orgasm I'd experienced before was nothing compared to this. Afterward, he told me that it would only get better, once the drugs had had time to work on my body. "They change you," he said. "You'll even come to like the enemas. You might even get off on them."

Chris spent the night with me, sleeping, his back pressed against mine. He shook me awake the next morning.

Chapter 6
Orientation

"Are you coming with me?" I asked.

"No," he said. "I'll see you tonight. You have a full day ahead of you. There's a lot to see on the Island."

I looked around for Matti at breakfast, but didn't see him. Again the nullos teased me about having a dick, but it didn't bother me as much. I knew I'd be getting it cut off in a few weeks. After last night, after the fucking Chris had given me, I really didn't need my pecker any longer. My orgasm when Chris had fucked me had been better than any I'd had when I'd jacked off.

I could still pee through my dick, but Chris had talked me into sitting down to pee, so I really didn't need it even for that. "It's gross to see you pee all over the floor," he had said, and I guess he was right about that. My mom had always yelled at me for missing the toilet. Besides, I might as well get used to peeing that way, since that's how I'd be doing it for the rest of my life.

The rest of my life 3; I looked down at my crotch. For the rest of my life, I would have neither a dick or balls. I'd be a nullo. At least, I'd be like everyone else, like all the nullos on the Island. If no one has a pecker, peckers don't mean much. What's someone going to say, "I'm smoother than you?" Only the boys that had been on the Island for a long time had scars. I'd looked for them on the younger nullos and hadn't seen any.

In the orientation room, I took a seat at one of the tables. Several boys, some of the ones I'd seen on the plane and in the cafeteria, boys with gold collars, balls, and dicks, were already there. Some came in after I'd taken my seat. The boy that had spoken to me in the cafeteria came over and sat next to me. "Does it still bother you that you're going to be a nullo?" I asked him. He nodded.

"Do you 3; I mean did you jack off?" he asked. Before I could answer, he added, "I used to all the time. I couldn't shoot or anything, but I used to cum I think. I liked jacking off. I couldn't wait until I was old enough to shoot. My older brother could shoot. He used to let me jack him off." Then he looked around, adding in a softer voice, "He used to make me suck him off. Did you ever suck a boy off?"

"Yeah, sure," I said, like I was an old hand at it.

"Did you like it?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said. I liked it."

"I wanted to see what it was like to have someone suck me off," he said. "Now, I'll never know what it's like."

"No big deal," I said, "getting fucked is better."

"How do you know?" he asked. "Did anyone ever suck your dick? Could you shoot? I know you can't now. After those shots they gave us I can't even get a woody; but could you shoot before?"

"No," I said, "but I've been fucked; and that's great. It's got to be better than having your dick sucked."

"Who fucked you?" he asked, "Someone back home."

"No, the boy – I mean nullo – that was sitting next to me in the cafeteria yesterday."

"How can a nullo fuck you?" he asked.

"He strapped on a dildo. I did it first. I fucked him with one, then he used one on me. Isn't a nullo watching after you? Ask him to fuck you with one. You'll like it."

"He doesn't stick around," he said. "He just drops me off at my room, then comes back to get me at meal time. He didn't even sit with me at dinner."

"Chris spent the night with me. Maybe you can stay with me tonight. I don't think Chris would mind. I'll let you use the dildo on me, and if you want, I'll use it on you. What's your name?"

"Aaron," he said. "Yeah, I'd like to come over. I got lonely and scared last night. Do you think it'll hurt when they 3;" hesitating, he looked down at his crotch, "cut them off?"

"Chris told me it doesn't hurt. You might be a little sore for a few days, but nothing that a pain pill won't help he told me," I said. "Are you sore from the shots? Do your balls hurt?"

"A little," he said, "but my dick hurts more. It's really sore."

"Mine was, too," I said but I took a pill, and it feels fine now. Why don't you ask for one? I'm sure they'll give one to you."

About that time, an adult came into the room. I won't call him a man, because he was a nullo. Like Matti, he had on a red collar. "Good morning, boys," he said. "I'm Jeff. I will be giving this orientation, and will be taking you on a tour of San Carlos Island. Welcome to San Carlos Island. Did all of you sleep well last night? We have a busy day ahead of us."

There was about twenty of us in the room. In turn, we stood up and introduced ourselves. "How many of you are upset about being nullified?" he asked. I looked around. Only two other boys and I didn't raise our hands. Aaron raised his. "Why don't you care?" he asked one of the other boys that didn't raise his hand.

"I never liked them," the boy said. "I've wanted them cut off for as long as I can remember. I'm glad they're cutting them off. I want to be like you and the other nullos."

The other boy felt the same. "And you?" Jeff asked me. "Did you hate your genitals, too?"

"No," I said, "but I do think nullos are hot; and they make fun of my dick and balls. I want to look like everyone else. I don't want to be different. They're dead now, anyway, so I might as well have them cut off."

"Why do they have to cut off our dicks and balls?" a boy asked.

"There are several reasons," Jeff said. "Foremost, San Carlos Island is famous for nullified boys. Other resorts have them, but they don't specialize in them. Ours are better trained; and they've been sexually enhanced. No other resort has access to the drugs we use on our nullos. Their nullos are just castrated boys. You are becoming a third gender. Also, Ben Toeber, the founder of San Carlos Island believes that testosterone is a poison that causes much of the world's problems. The world would be a better place, if all boys were at least castrated."

"How would there be babies, then?" one boy asked.

"Select boys would be designated breeders and would be allowed to keep their balls until after puberty. Over the next few years, their sperm would be extracted and stored, then made available to women that were qualified breeders. Then, those boys would have their balls cut off. We could solve the overpopulation problems of the world in one generation. You boys are the forerunners of a new world order, an example of what the world can become. We have hundreds of nullos on this island, yet there are few fights. Just imagine what it would be like if we had a bunch of intact pubescent boys. This place would be bedlam."

"But why cut off our dicks," another boy asked.

"That's just a matter of aesthetics. Does everyone know what I mean by that word?" No one answered. I thought I knew, but I didn't want to look foolish, if I were wrong.

"Beauty," Jeff said. "Everyone stand up." We did. "Now, look at your peckers. Have you ever seen anything so ridiculous as that little tube – that and your balls? Wouldn't you rather be smooth like I am? If your dick's not going to work without your balls, why keep it?"

"So we can pee standing up," one boy said.

"You don't shit standing up," said Jeff. "Why should it be important to pee standing up?"

"We don't shit at all," said one of the boys. "We have to clean ourselves out with an enema twice a day."

"Clients expect our boys to be clean inside and out," said Jeff. "You don't have clients yet, but you'll soon have trainer, and your trainer will expect you to be clean. No one likes to get shit on his dick."

"How would you know?" a boy said. "You don't have a dick to get shit on."

"Don't get smart," said Jeff, "that doesn't play well on San Carlos Island. You're not rowdy boys any longer. You're nullos – or you soon will be."

"But why us?" a boy asked. "Why did you choose us to be nullos?"

"Several reasons," said Jeff, "foremost among them, is that you're beautiful children and your parents were willing to sell you. As you know, children are considered to be property that can be bought and sold until they're eighteen, as long as they receive a share of the proceeds from the sale upon coming of age. Too, all or you are sexually experienced. At the very least, you've been masturbating for years. Most of you have had sex with another boy or man, an older brother, maybe even your father, usually with someone you knew. I would guess that most of you have already been fucked. How many of you weren't fucked before coming here?"

I looked around the room. Aaron and three other boys raised their hands. I wasn't going to raise mine since Chris fucked me the night before, but I wasn't sure that counted. Was that really a fuck, since Chris didn't have a cock of his own? Since Jeff had said, "before coming here," I raised my hand, too. Only five out of twenty boys had their hands up. Fifteen of us had already been fucked; sixteen had, if I counted.

Jeff asked the boys who had fucked them. Several of them had been fucked either by their fathers – the same fathers that had sold them – or by their mothers' boyfriends. A few had been fucked by their older brothers; and a couple, already little sluts, had sold themselves. "Now, I would guess," Jeff said, seeming to look directly at me, "that the rest of you have at least sucked a little cock. Who hasn't?"

No one raised his hand.

"That's what I thought," Jeff said. "And, I venture to say that the rest of you would have been fucked before the year was out. Isn't that right?"

No one disputed that.

"See, you're not going to be doing anything here on San Carlos Island that you wouldn't be doing back home; only here, you'll be paid for it. Each of you, should you decide to leave San Carlos Island, will be rich when you leave. You won't have full access to your money until you're eighteen, but that's to keep the parents that sold you from having access to it. A trust will be set up that will pay you a monthly stipend until you're eighteen. And you don't ever have to leave San Carlos Island. We have a whole community of ex slaves on the other side of the Island. You'll be able to buy or rent a house there."

"Yeah," said one boy, "but we'll no longer have dicks and balls. How are we going to have sex then?"

Jeff held up a harness with a dildo on it, like the one Chris and I had used the night before. "You can have sex with one or more of your fellow nullos using one of these. I would encourage you to try them out. Some of you boys that haven't been fucked might find them a little uncomfortable, but you're all wearing butt plugs, aren't you?"

The question made me conscious of the one in my ass. We all nodded.

"Then, in a few days you should be stretched out enough for the smaller dildos," Jeff said.

"I thought we were getting trainers," a boy said.

"You will by the end of next week," Jeff said. "The trainers are finishing up with their last group of trainees, who are being cut next week. We'll give them a couple of days off, then they'll be ready for you."

I felt a pang of disappointment. I was hoping Matti would start training me right away. I'd rather have his dick up my ass than a dildo.

"Were you a slave?" a boy asked Jeff.

"Certainly," said Jeff. "I came to the Island fifteen years ago. Believe me 3; you boys have it better than we did. They used to cut off a boy's balls in the Arena while clients and nullos watched. And it hurt like hell. It didn't hurt for long; they splashed an anesthetic on soon afterward, but it sure hurt when they cut them off. You won't feel a thing. By the time they cut off your balls, they'll be dead and shriveled up. You'll go to sleep and wake up nullos."

Jeff told us about the clients, how about when they came to the Island they would choose us from holograms of us or from seeing us in person. They might even see us with another client and reserve us for later when we're free.

"Some of you might have regular clients that will come to see you several times a year. Some boys have even had their contracts bought out by clients and have been taken home with those clients, some even raised as their sons. We don't sell you to a client, unless you want to go with him, though. Ben used to indiscriminately sell nullos to clients, but we had a bad experience with one of them. He abused the boys he bought. Now, we do a thorough background check on our clients before even allowing them on the Island."

By the time the orientation was over, I think we were all feeling better about becoming slaves, about servicing clients, and even about becoming nullos. I know I was. I was almost looking forward to it. I would no longer worry about the size of my dick, about when and whether it would grow, or how long it would become when I went through puberty. I wouldn't have to worry about puberty at all; and if the other boys back home at my school were any example of what puberty did to a boy, I wasn't missing anything. All my problems with other boys were with ones that had gone through puberty. None of the boys that hadn't had ever given me any shit.

After lunch we were to have a tour of the Island.

Chapter 7
The Tour

I realized suddenly that it wasn't only being naked that gave me a sense of freedom. Though Ben Toeber – whoever he was – might own me, though I might be a slave that would be nullified and have to service clients, I was free for the first time in my life. I was free of my father. It no longer mattered to me that he loved me. Before – for as long as I could remember – that was all I cared about. I would have done anything for that love; I would gladly let him fuck me for three little words, "I love you."

He had never fucked me. He had never so much as put his arms around me; but he had sold me, even knowing what that meant, that I would have my dick and balls cut off, that other men – countless other men – would fuck me. I'd find love elsewhere – in Matti's arms, perhaps. I looked down at Aaron's hand clasped in mine. Maybe love existed even there, in him, a ten year-old boy that was about to be a nullo like me. Anyway, I had a better chance of finding love here on San Carlos Island than I'd ever had at home, in New York City, from my father, or from any boys at school.

I'd told myself that I'd loved Jamie Kosolas, that that's why I'd sucked his dick, but even if I loved him, he never loved me. If he had, he wouldn't have told everyone that I sucked his cock. He probably even called me a cocksucker behind my back. At least I guess, he never called me one to my face, as other boys had.

"Ha," I laughed to myself. Here, on San Carlos Island, being a cocksucker – a good cocksucker – wasn't a bad thing. It was something to be proud of. Boys – nullos, like I was to become – bragged about their cock sucking ability. I would show them – I would show Matti – what a good cocksucker I was.

We walked down to the beach. That's when I saw Clients for the first time. I'd been warned that I might see a client fucking his nullo on the beach, but that's not what I saw. I saw men, old and young, fat and thin, playing with nullos on the beach, running through the surf with them, playing catch with them. We passed four couples, two on one team, two clients and their nullos, and two on another, playing a game of football. "Go long, Sammy, go long," I heard the man with the football yell to a nullo about Aaron's size. That man – a client – was doing more with a nullo he'd paid to have sex with than my father had ever done with me. I'd never played ball with my father.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad being a San Carlos Island slut; maybe it wouldn't be so bad at all. I wanted to go over and ask them if I could play, too; but I couldn't. I had to finish the tour.

We were showed the client's quarters, luxurious suits, holographic TV's that filled a whole wall, all the latest video games, pool tables, anything the client or nullo might want. "We furnish them like each client wants, giving him anything he desires," Jeff said. "If you have any requests, tell your clients. You'll be surprised at what lengths your clients will go to please you. We're here to satisfy a client's fantasy, and most of them are looking for a boy – or in your case, a nullo – to love him. Make him feel you do, and he'll do anything for you. Certainly, he's going to fuck you; and you'll probably have to suck his dick more than once – the drugs we provide them will let them fuck all day – but you won't spend all your time fucking. Just like you saw on the beach today, clients do other things with their sluts."

By now, I was used to us being called sluts. All the nullos, not just Chris, seemed to call themselves, sluts. I guess it was like Blacks back at home calling themselves, "Niggers." It was all right for them to do it, but not all right for someone of a different race to do it. I wondered if it'd bother me, if a boy called me a slut. I thought back to how it had hurt when the kids back home had called me, "Cocksucker." That had hurt; that had hurt a lot.

I suddenly had a thought. What would it be like to go home after two years on the Island? Would I go back to school? I could just imagine walking into the shower with no cock and no balls. Wouldn't that freak the others out? "What happened to you?" they would ask. "Where have you been?"

"Oh, I was nullified; and I've been a slut on San Carlos Island for the last two years, fucking anyone that had the money to pay for me," I would say. Somehow, I didn't think that would go over too big. But, then 3; I would be rich. I'd never have to go back to my old neighborhood or to my old school.

San Carlos Island was beautiful. White sand beaches stretched as far as I could see. Clear, blue, water surrounded the island. In the sheltered lagoon, gentle waves lapped against the shore; on unsheltered beaches giant waves broke some distance from it. Clients and nullos rode the waves on surfboards and belly boards. Everywhere I looked clients and their nullos were enjoying the Island and each other.

Then, as we came over a rise, we saw a client fucking his nullo. The nullified boy sat astride his client, riding his dick, the client's dick sliding in and out of his hole. The boy looked up at us and smiled, then shuddered and grimaced. I knew he must be coming. We walked on. I looked back to see the boy collapse on top of the man, spent I guess, from his orgasm. The man must have had his about the same time, because he seemed spent, too.

"I'm glad you all saw that," said Jeff, after we were some ways down the beach from them. Most clients will treat you like a son, playing games with you, talking to you, and holding you, but they will also fuck you. And they may want you to satisfy them in other ways. Some will want you to satisfy them orally. Some may even want you to strap on a dildo and fuck them. Sex – having sex with a nullo – is why they come to San Carlos Island. Don't ever fool yourselves into thinking a client won't fuck you, because he will."

"Too," he continued, "you'll find that clients are curious about what it's like to be a nullo. They'll want to know if you like being one or whether you regret losing your dick and balls. Most clients can't imagine what it would be like to lose theirs, so they'll want to know what it was like for you to lose yours.

Stopping on the beach, we sat around Jeff in a circle. "How do you feel about becoming nullos now?" he asked. "You've seen other boys that have been nullified. You've seen nullos playing with – even fucking – their clients. Be honest. How do you feel about having your dicks and balls cut off? I want each of you to tell me – to tell the rest of us how you feel. Be honest about how you feel. Who wants to go first?"

One of the boys that wanted to be rid of his dick and balls raised his hand, one of those that had said he hated his. Again he said how he'd always hated them and had wanted them cut off. "I wish I'd never had them," he said. I wish I'd been born a girl. Can't you make me into one?"

"No," said Jeff. "Our clients come looking for nullos, not little girls. Those that want little girls go elsewhere. You'll be smooth like a girl, though. You just won't have a vagina or grow tits."

"Well, at least I won't have these any longer," the boy said, grabbing his dick and balls in his hand and tugging violently at them. It was a good indication his balls were already dead. Otherwise, he would have been groveling in pain, considering what he was doing to his balls.

I squeezed mine; but it didn't hurt at all. Mine had to be dead, too. I wondered when they'd start shrinking. I wondered what it would be like to have an empty ball sac. Would it shrink, too, without any balls in it to stretch it out? Other boys were handling their dicks and balls, probably like me, wondering what it would be like to no longer have any.

Aaron, who spoke before me, said, "I still don't want them cut off. I would rather stay a boy than be a nullo; but I guess they're dead aren't they?" He squeezed his balls.

"Yes," said Jeff. "They're dead. There's no going back. They'll shrivel up and pretty well disappear, even if they aren't cut off. You're already effective a nullo. Neither your dicks or your balls will work anymore. All that's left is to tidy you up, to rid you of those useless appendages. He ran his hand over his crotch. Don't you think this looks better?"

"I – I guess," said Aaron.

When he asked me, I said. "I want to be a nullo. I didn't at first, but I do now." And I did. I wanted to look like the others. I wanted to be like everyone else. Having a dick and balls on San Carlos Island made me different. I didn't want to be different. Too, I agreed with Jeff – and with Chris – a nullo's crotch did look nicer than did a boy's crotch. My dick, a little tube of skin, was ugly. So were my balls.

Chapter 8
Aaron Spends the Night

"Do you like him?" I asked.

"Yeah, he's cool," said Chris. "Besides, he has an eight inch [20 cm] cock." He grinned. "I love his cock. He knows how to use it, too. It'll probably take me a couple of days to recover from the fucking he's going to give me."

He must have seen something in my face, because he added, "Hey, you did OK, but a dildo isn't a cock; and he is a man. I like being fucked by a big, strong, man."

"You are a slut," I told him.

"Yeah, ain't it the truth," he said.

We all laughed.

"Well, you guys know where the cafeteria is; and I have to get ready for my date. My client and I will be having a late dinner at his place. Have fun tonight." Chris cocked his eyebrow and smiled. "I will; and I wouldn't want to think that I'm the only one getting some. Both of you are hot. Once you're nullified, you guys are going to be in demand. I'm not going to let any of my regulars anywhere near either of you."

I liked Chris; and I was a little jealous that someone else was going to be fucking him – he was my first, after all – but I knew it would be foolish to fall in love with Chris. He was a slut. He'd fuck anyone that had a dick; and I could never satisfy him with a dildo, like a man could with his dick.

After dinner, Aaron and I went back to my room. We'd endured the usual taunts about how pitiful our dicks were in the cafeteria, but it no longer bothered me. It wasn't like being teased about having a little dick back home, when I had no idea when I'd finally go through puberty, and it would grow. Now, the end of my affliction – having a dick and balls – would end soon. I knew that within a few weeks, they'd be cut off, and I'd look like everyone else. Isn't that funny? I actually wanted to have my dick and balls cut off now. I wanted to be a nullo, so I could be like the others. All last year at school what I'd wanted most was for my dick to grow. Now, I wanted it cut off.

"You want to play videogames?" I asked Aaron.

"Maybe later," said Aaron, "Can you show me that dildo and harness thing first?"

"Sure," I said. I was hoping he'd say that. After walking around the Island, after seeing nullos with their clients, after seeing men with big dicks and hairy balls, men with thick pubic hair and hairy chests, after seeing that one nullo riding his client's dick, I was horny; but then, it seemed like I was horny all the time. It must be the drugs. I was horny before; but it was more of a mind thing then. Now, it was a hunger, a bodily need that begged to be satisfied. As only food would ease hunger, only an orgasm would ease the craving I felt in my loins. It wasn't enough to have a butt plug filling my ass. I needed a cock in it – a dildo at least – something in it attached to another person, something pounded into my hole by that other person.

Suddenly, I realized I'd have no trouble fucking my first client. If a man walked into my room that instant, I would have fucked him, whether he was old or young, fat or fit. As long as he had a dick, I would have fucked him. I might have regretted it afterward, after I'd come, but until then – until I came – all that would have matter was that he had a dick, and the bigger the dick, the better. The drugs were definitely working their magic on me. Before, I would have been more concerned about the appearance of the man, not about the size of his dick.

I pulled the harness out of the drawer. It still had the dildo on it – the smallest one in the drawer – that Chris had used on me the night before. I held it up, showing it to Aaron. "Is that the smallest one?" he asked. "It looks awfully big."

"That's the smallest one," I said. "I took it up my ass, and I hadn't had a butt plug in all day. It might hurt a little at first, but I think you'll like it. Do you want me to go first? Do you want to strap it on and fuck me?"

"Yeah," he said, "you go first; but I want you to do me. I'm horny. I've never been so horny; and I can't do anything using this. I tried in the bathroom." He picked up his dick, pulling on it with his thumb and first two fingers. It remained limp.

"There's no feeling in it," he said. "Oh, I can feel my hand on it, but I might as well be rubbing one of my fingers for all the good it does. I'll never get off that way; and I'm fucking horny. Are you horny? I feel like I'm going to burst, if I don't come."

"Yeah, me, too," I said. "I took the dildo off the harness, and rummaging through the drawer, found another, one size larger than the one Chris had used on me the night before. It looked huge, and I thought it would probably hurt, but I wanted one that would fill my ass.

"You want me to use that on you?" Aaron asked, his eyes wide open.

"Yeah," I said. I helped him put on the harness. Both of us laughed after he had it on. Picture this: a ten year-old with a hairless crotch with a six or seven inch [15-18 cm] dick sticking straight out from it. His own dick was slid inside the hollow base of the dildo. His balls hung below it. Maybe that was the funniest part: two prepubescent balls hanging below a six inch [15 cm] ock. Maybe he wouldn't have looked so strange, if he'd had bigger balls in a bigger ball sac. I wondered if I'd looked as funny to Chris. I hadn't thought about how he looked when he had fucked me. All I'd been thinking about then was the size of the dildo, about how it couldn't possibly fit up my hole. I guess that's what Aaron was thinking about now. He wanted to get fucked – like me, he needed to get fucked – but the size of the dildo scared the hell out of him.

I lay on my stomach. He pulled the butt plug from my hole. "Oh," he said, "there's shit on it."

"Let me go douche first then," I said. That's what Chris called getting a enema, douching. We both went into the bathroom and had one. They're not so bad after you get used to them. At least, you don't have to wipe your ass with toilet paper. Push another button after the douche, and a jet of warm air dries you off.

We went back to my bed. I smeared the dildo with lube and stuck some of it up my ass, smearing it around my hole. After wearing the butt plug all day – after my fucking last night – my finger slid right in, not like before when I used to have to force it in. I used to stick things up my butt back home, wondering what it would be like to be fucked, pretending that someone was fucking me; but nothing really felt that great then. My finger was too short, and the handle of my mom's hairbrush was too hard. Then too, I always had to wash the shit off the brush handle. I could just imagine how my mom would have freaked out, had she found it covered with shit.

I lay on my back, holding my arms out for Aaron, inviting him in, into my arms, into my ass. The dildo looked like a cock. I wished then that it were one, that Aaron had a real cock – well, a real one that large that would work, anyway. I wanted him to shoot into my hole. I don't suppose I could have felt it if he could have, but I wanted him to, anyway. I wished he could shoot. I wished the dildo was a real cock. I'd suck him off and swallow his cum. I craved to taste his cum; but I never would. Like me, Aaron would never shoot.

He squirmed between my legs, lining the dildo up with my hole. I felt it press against my hole, which hurt as the dildo attempted to force its way inside. I must have moaned or something, because Aaron said, "Do you want me to stop?"

"No," I said, pulling on his hips, trying to help him shove the dildo inside me."

Then, it was inside me. It had hurt when it had first slid in – and it still hurt – but pain was the least of the sensations I was feeling. The pleasure that dildo induced, sliding in and out of my hole, overcame the pain I felt. "Oh, God," I said, "faster." I raised my hips trying to take the dildo into my hole as far as it would go, even though Aaron was already pounding against my butt cheeks with every thrust.

He grinned. "Do you like it?" he asked.

"What the fuck do you think?" I said; or at least, that's what I think I said. I wasn't thinking too clearly just then. I wasn't doing much thinking at all. I was entirely in a feeling mode, feeling that dildo plunge into me, then slide almost out of me, only to plunge into me again, filling my hole once again. Then I came. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. It was great. No, great doesn't even begin to describe how it felt. I thought I was going to die; but I didn't care. If dying felt that good, I didn't care if I died.

I felt Aaron start to pull out. "No! No!" I said, "Keep doing it. Keep fucking me. I haven't had enough yet."

I came three more times before I let him quit. He could have kept going as far as I was concerned, but when he asked me if I wanted him to keep fucking me, I couldn't answer. I lay, my head thrown back, my eyes rolled up in my head. If I hadn't been panting so hard, if my heart hadn't been pounding in my chest, he probably would have thought me dead. I couldn't have answered him. For the life of me, I couldn't have answered him. I was somewhere else. I wasn't in this world anymore. I don't know where those orgasms had taken me, but I was no longer on that bed, no longer on San Carlos Island.

I have no idea how long that lasted. Time had no meaning. It could have been for an instant, or it could have been for an eternity. I would guess though for five or ten minutes, because when I became aware of my surroundings again, Aaron was shaking me, panic in his voice. "Wake up, wake up," he was saying.

"Leave me alone," I said. "Just let me lie here for a while."

"I thought I'd killed you or something," he said, "or that you were having some kind of fit."

"Shush 3;" I said, " I didn't yet feel like talking. I certainly didn't feel like listening to him talk."

When I was finally ready to talk, I said, "You – you've got to try that. It's – it's great. There's nothing like it. No boy I've ever seen comes like that. When I sucked this boy's cock, he just grunted when he shot into my mouth, then it was all over for him. If he'd felt anything like that, I would have known."

"That's the way my brother was when he shot," said Aaron, "uh, uh, and it was over. It must have felt good, because he made me suck it all the time; but he never passed out like you just did."

"How long was I out?" I asked.

"Fuck, I don't know," said Aaron, "a long, fucking, time. I was about ready to call for help."

"I'm glad you didn't. They'd probably laughed at us. Do you want me to fuck you, now? I think I've recovered enough to do it?"

"Yeah," said Aaron, I want to see what it feels like. Will you use that other dildo, though, the smaller one. This thing's huge."

"Sure," I said, helping him out of the harness. I went to the drawer, and taking the smaller one out of it, lubed it and fitted it onto the harness. After putting on the harness, I took the tube of lube over to the bed. "Raise your legs," I told Aaron. He did, and I rimmed his hole with the lube, then stuck my finger, covered in lube, into his hole.

"Feel good?" I asked. He nodded. I slid another finger into his hole, until I had both my forefinger and middle finger were in his hole at the same time. His wearing the butt plug all day had helped. His hole was already loosened up some.

Then, taking my fingers out of his hole, I scooted up, until the dildo was pressing against his hole. "This might hurt a little," I said. "Are you ready?" He nodded again.

I pressed the dildo against his hole, which fought back for a moment, denying me entrance to it; then, with a slight "pop" and a moan from Aaron, it was inside him. I thrust with my hips, driving the dildo inside him, in and out, in and out. His head was thrown back then, his eyes rolled back in his head, his breath coming in quick pants. Then, he screamed. He fucking screamed. If anyone could have heard, they would have thought I was killing him. I would have pulled out upon hearing that scream, but his hands were dug into my buttocks, pulling me toward him, then pushing me away, plunging the dildo, in and out of his hole. He had two or three more orgasms before he let me quit.

"Did you like it?" I asked afterward, lying next to him. I still had on the dildo.

"Fuck, yes," he said. "What do you think?"

I grinned. "I thought you'd like it. Want to do it again?"

He shook his head. "I can't. Not now. I couldn't take any more right now. Oh, I want to do it again; but not just now. Do you want me to do you?"

I thought about it for a minute. "No, not right now," I said. "It pretty well wiped me. Maybe in the morning, when we wake up. I think that would be a good way to start the day. Do you want to pay a videogame?"

"Let's just watch a video. There's supposed to be a new one out today that I wanted to see. Isn't it cool that we get new movies as soon as they're released?"

"Yeah," I said. We turned off the lights, and watched the movie. He lay, his head on my chest, my arm around him.

He looked up at me. "Would you kiss me?" he asked. I bent my head over and kissed him, long and hard on the mouth, running my tongue into it. I could feel his breath on my cheek; I felt his tongue play tag with mine. Then, he slid down, lying beside me, his head in the crook of my arm. We fell asleep like that. Neither of us saw the end of the movie. We had to watch it again later.

The End?