Benjamin Hanson

Abatement

Chapters 14-24

Chapter Fourteen

"Hello?" I asked to anyone that would answer.

"It's just me." I heard the familiar voice of Frederick reply. I nodded, unable to see him for all the darkness, and scooted against my headboard.

"Can't you turn on a light or something?" I asked, mildly perturbed.

"Certainly, I was just enjoying watching you sleep."

A few steps later and the sound of the light switch caused light to stream into the room. I rubbed my eyes, allowing them time to adjust, and looked up at Frederick whose hair was now black and rather short.

"Why the change?" I asked in reference to his hair. Frederick simply shrugged.

"I occasionally like to play around with my look. Do you like it?"

I shrugged in a non-committed manner. I didn't really want him to think that I liked anything about him.

"Well that's fine; I'm not here to talk about makeovers anyway. I am, however, quite curious about the visitor you had in your bed this evening."

I swallowed deeply and stared at Frederick with a look of fear on my face. I had momentarily forgotten about my companion, and the wonderful experience I had shared with him earlier that day.

"I assure you you're not in trouble." Frederick laughed, taking a seat on my bed and turning to stare at me so we were face to face.

I smiled a little, relieved that that was the case.

"What do you want to know?" I asked.

"Well I suppose what we're dealing with here. Who instigated the whole thing, what was your general intent. Do we need to dispose of him?"

I felt a lump rise up in my throat at the last words he spoke.

"N 3;n 3;no! I mean, we were just playing around and it kinda got out of hand. He's done it tons of times with his brother so I didn't show him anything he hadn't already done." Most of what I said was honest.

Frederick nodded and smiled.

"Well that's good to hear. I'm glad to see that your predatory instincts aren't getting the best of you." He snickered a little.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked calmly. I was fairly certain after the previous evening that getting mad at Frederick was pointless. As the old saying went, you catch more flies with honey than you do vinegar. That being the case I didn't try to fool myself into thinking that I'd change his mind about anything, but I did understand that tranquility was a nice thing to have around.

"Of course." He nodded, tilting his head slightly as he stared into my eyes. I blushed.

"Why does everyone think I went down that alley because I like kids?"

"Well that's fairly obvious isn't it? There are child prostitutes down that alley."

"I know, but when my friend told me about it he said there were young men. I didn't know there were kids down there. I even told James the night I met him that he was too young for me."

Frederick sat back in silent contemplation for a brief moment. His eyes kept surveying my face for something, although what it was I couldn't be sure. Maybe age had taught him how to separate the truth from lies, or maybe he just liked making me uncomfortable; if he did then he was certainly talented at it.

"I suppose you have an explanation for why the events of this evening occurred? David is, after all, a child."

I sighed deeply. There really wasn't an adequate explanation that I could provide. I couldn't explain why I was attracted to David, and there was no way to prove that it was an isolated incident. Just the same, I had to try. I wasn't sure what it would warrant me but I wanted some form of vindication. I wanted to not feel like a criminal whenever I sat in front of Frederick.

"I wish I knew why 3; I really like David a lot and what we did was, well, exciting. I've never felt like that before though. I've never felt that good before either. I guess maybe I could have liked kids but becoming a kid made it come out? I don't know 3; I just don't like feeling like I'm a bad person."

Frederick smiled and patted my shoulder gently.

"I suppose I believe you. We've never regressed anyone that wasn't already attracted to children, so we have no idea what that would cause. That being the case, you did go seeking prostitutes and that in and of itself is a bad thing."

I nodded; I supposed I could accept that. At least I had partial vindication.

"Do you have any other questions?"

I shook my head.

"Good, onto the matters at hand. There are a few things that I need to discuss with you and I have little time in which to do it. I believe James will be back very shortly." He glanced at the watch on his wrist for a brief moment before continuing.

"The first thing that I need to know is what James, Colby and you were talking about in the woods this morning. I suggest that you be honest with me." Even though the last words he spoke were slightly threatening, I couldn't help but notice a tinge of curiosity in his gaze. It was true what James said, they did watch the orphanage very closely, but maybe they weren't able to see everything that went on? I knew that I had to take my chances and assume he knew nothing. It wasn't like I had anything to gain by admitting I was developing a plan to escape, to avoid this horrible demon he had waiting for me.

"Well we played hide and go seek. James told me that I should meet Colby since he's like us and I talked to him for a little bit. He's not that nice though 3;" I giggled a little bit. I decided to try and make myself as innocent and convincing as possible.

Frederick nodded. He didn't look entirely convinced but I could tell he wasn't going to push the issue.

"Very well 3;" His voice trailed off as his eyes shot to the window and then back to me.

"Secondly, do you have any desire to change your mind?"

I sat in deep thought for a brief moment. I couldn't be one hundred percent sure what he meant, but I assumed that he was referring to the original choice that I made. I didn't know that it was a choice that I could back out of, so I didn't want to say that.

"What do you mean?" I queried. It was a logical response to his question after all.

"It's not that I am a merciful person, and please don't think of me as one, but have you changed your mind about wanting to live with Mr. Terrance? Have you decided to do it or do you still want to remain here?"

I caught myself in mid-smile, forcing my face to contort back to its normal state. At once he made me feel hope, he made me feel as though there was an option beyond my current one. I didn't want to runaway; I wanted to stay here at the orphanage. I didn't want to have to make the choice between David and freedom, but I knew that the choice of David would lead to me being with Mr. Terrance. I wasn't sure how to answer the question. On one hand he could be showing mercy despite what he said, and on another it could be a trick. Why he would choose to trick me in that way I wasn't sure.

"Honestly?" I asked. As much as I racked my mind for meaning behind his question, I couldn't find it. I wasn't sure if it was a part of my mental regression or just that he was that complex an individual.

"Of course 3;" He replied, tapping his fingertips together in a methodical manner.

"I still don't want to go. I wish I did, but I really like it here."

Frederick nodded. "I understand. Understand that my asking you this question means nothing, so don't hold onto some distant hope."

I nodded. I already understood that before he even said it.

"With that being said I'm glad to see that your attitude has improved so much. You are making this whole experience much easier on everyone that way."

I nodded and just looked down at the bed beneath me. I felt a single tear rush from my eye and cascade down my cheek. I was broken whenever I was with Frederick now. I was both frightened by him and dependent on him. He was my only source for so much information. I knew inside of my mind that what he said provided me with no hope, but it didn't keep my heart from hoping. Frederick brought his hand to my face and wiped away the tear before it left my face. He lifted my chin so that I was looking at him once more.

"Try not to change too much."

I nodded, not completely understanding what he meant. Frederick rose onto his feet and rubbed the wrinkles out of his pants.

"Sorry that we didn't get a lot accomplished tonight but I didn't want to wake you. I'll be back again tomorrow alright?"

I nodded, smiling just a little.

"Farewell."

I watched Frederick leave and shut the door behind him once more. I sighed, and noticed a definite lightening of the sky outside of my window. It was much too late to be thinking of going back to bed now, but I was still tired. Just as I decided to lie down and close my eyes for a moment, the door opened once more and James walked in. I sat straight up and waved at him a little.

"Hi."

He smiled and returned my wave. He immediately collapsed onto his bed and let out a sigh. I looked over at him with mild curiosity but decided to not say anything. I stood up and walked over to his bed instead, taking a seat next to him and gently rubbed his stomach.

"Why are you up so early?" He asked in a mildly disgruntled tone.

"Frederick just left." I replied, looking at him with mingled curiosity and remorse.

"Oh 3; Well that explains it." He said simply, rolling over onto his side and propping his head up on his arm. I lie next to him and did the same thing.

"He asked me about what we talked about earlier."

James raised his eyebrow for a moment but spoke fairly calmly.

"What did you tell him?"

"That you wanted me to meet Colby and that he was mean, nothing but the truth of course." I giggled a little.

James smiled and yawned.

"Well that's good."

I nodded.

"Did you hear what happened earlier with me and David?"

James laughed a little and shook his head in disbelief.

"Yeah I ended up carrying him back to his room. You're a bad boy." He poked me in the nose with each word of the last sentence he spoke. I blushed but decided it was best not to say anything.

"Nobody is mad about it or anything. You don't have anything to worry about."

I nodded. I already knew that of course, from the conversation I had with Frederick, but he didn't have to know that.

"So you still think Colby is mean after he beat up José for you?" James asked, his eyelids becoming heavier with each word.

"I don't think he's so bad anymore. I really appreciate him doing that for me. I still think he's ornery though." I laughed a little.

James simply smiled, closing his eyes.

"That's good; I really like him a lot."

"I think he likes you too."

I watched for a moment as James' breath slowed and he fell into a well deserved slumber. I stood up and removed his shoes. With a great amount of effort, I managed to get him under his blanket. As soon as I tucked him in I smiled down at James and couldn't help but feel glad that I had him in my life.

"Thanks for being my friend." I whispered to the sleeping boy beneath me. He didn't respond, naturally, and I was left all alone once more. I decided that the sun had raised enough for me to go downstairs and see what was going on. I slid out of the room and closed the door as quietly as I could.

Chapter Fifteen

My precious David helped me to see what childhood could be for me. Yesterday, in such an amazing way, I felt myself become thankful for the transformation that had occurred. It wasn't the fact that I was a child that was upsetting anymore; it was what I was supposed to do next. My great purpose, my enslavement, I couldn't help but hate it. How could I not? I now understood Colby when he said that I should be grateful, but I wasn't willing to pay the price for my second chance.

There had to be a way to have my cake and eat it too. I had to find some way out of my enslavement, and discover a life that could exist for me. Nothing could ever convince me that I deserved the price that they were forcing me to pay. I would bide my time, I would wait until all suspicion was removed, and then I would escape into the quiet of the night. I wanted to be with David more than anything, to grow right alongside him and enjoy every stupid prank, game and moment, but it wasn't possible. No matter what choice I made I could never be with him. I would lose my friend, and it would hurt.

There was a selfish part of me that wanted to ask him to come along, to go off and enjoy the miracle of the world right by my side. Unfortunately, I knew that he lacked the adult experience that I did. I could only take care of him so much in this size, and I knew it. Then there was the other problem, I couldn't grow. Colby would continue to age, to grow. All too soon he would be a teenager and then an adult. If I escaped without the cure I would be forever trapped in this childhood form.

It was then that the biggest dilemma facing me became clear; I couldn't age. Part of my servitude was the promise of an end where I was regressed to toddlerhood and allowed to age once more. Escaping this place as a nine year old, a permanent nine year old, meant that I could never hope to be completely independent. Perhaps I could find someone to take me in, to raise me as their own, but what would happen two years down the road when I never outgrew my shoes or hit puberty? Then what?

I wasn't sure what I would look like to a doctor. Could he see the genetic alterations that had been done? If he couldn't, would he consider me a medical oddity and examine me under a microscope for years? What kind of a freedom would that be? Perhaps stopping the aging process suited more than one purpose, maybe it was a way to keep me imprisoned. No matter what I did I would look like a child. I wasn't gifted with unusual height or anything; in fact I was fairly short to be nine. I looked as much like a nine year old as a nine year old could.

Then what would happen as my personality continued to regress? Would I forget being an adult, would I be able to detect danger? What if I ended up in a similar situation with people that didn't look out for my best interest? All at once I felt completely hopeless for the first time. Even if I managed to escape, I had no way of knowing whether there was a better option waiting for me on the outside. I was trapped; trapped by youth, trapped by the inability to age, trapped by my declining mental state. In the hands of Purity I was nothing more than a disposable commodity and they knew what power they held over me.

I fell to my knees, my eyes watered up as they had so many times over the past few days. What I was experiencing was the ultimate emotional rollercoaster, and all I wanted was for someone to care, to save me. Frederick had the nerve to tempt me with hope, to act as though my opinion even mattered. He knew that it didn't matter; he just wanted to see me hurt. As I wrapped my arms around myself, crying as loudly as I could remember ever having done, I had no idea what to think anymore. I didn't know whether I'd ever feel happy again. All that I could do was decide whether to stay in a place where nothing but evil waited for me, at least secured of what my future would be, or to escape to freedom and watch myself deteriorate further. There wasn't a good option but I had to choose something.

My hands rose to wipe the tears from my face. I couldn't be sure what decision I'd make, but I was certain of one thing; I was never going to cry again. I didn't care if I had no control over my mental regression or not, I could at least control that aspect of my life. I would be tough, tougher than anyone expected me to be. I wasn't just any boy, I was me. I am Benjamin and nobody could take that from me.

With my resolve held strong, I knew that thinking any further on the whole situation was pointless. I would live my life as close to normal as I could for the next few days, and when I saw my time running thin, I would make my decision then. I knew that my friendship with David was doomed, but I wouldn't let it end this soon. As I stretched to my full height and felt the warmth of the sun cutting through the canopy above, I forced myself to smile. I had to put on a happy face for David, it was what he expected. And with that, I began to walk back towards the orphanage.

As soon as I reached the clearing I saw a familiar face snooping around the hedges surrounding the porch. My eyebrow raised, curious as to what he was doing.

"David?" I half called, half asked.

The look of delight on his face was the same as it always was. He ran towards me, arms outstretched, and hugged me tightly.

"I went to your room and you weren't there!"

I smiled, genuinely this time, and returned the hug.

"I woke up early so I thought I'd take a walk."

"Oh okay 3;" His voice trailed off for a moment as his face dawned with realization.

"Oh! Guess what?"

"What?" I asked; my curiosity peaked.

"It's visitation day! We might get dopted!"

My mind twisted for a moment as I tried to understand what he was saying. Suddenly it dawned on me. We were in an orphanage after all.

"Adopted?"

"That's what I said!" He giggled, pulling my left arm towards him.

I smiled. I couldn't help but be happy for him. He had a way in which he could escape, whereas I didn't. I wasn't sure what I should be doing but I guessed I would figure it out.

"We need to hide."

"Huh?" I asked, suddenly confused.

"I can't get dopted! We have to stay together!"

All at once I felt conflicted. There was a part of me that was happy he cared for me this much, especially after the events of the prior evening, but I also knew that my place in his life was doomed to be temporary. He should be looking for a way out, a happy family with which he could live the rest of his childhood in bliss.

"Don't you want a family?" I asked, not really sure what to say.

"Well maybe 3; I'd rather stay here with you though."

I sighed, looking down at his alarmed expression.

"What if someone adopts me instead?"

David began to speak and then he went completely silent. I could almost hear the cogs inside of his head turn as he tried to think of a logical argument.

"If you hide too then you won't get dopted either!"

I laughed a little. I probably should have played along but I didn't want him to miss out on the opportunity of a lifetime. I placed my hand on his shoulder and looked deep into his eyes.

"I really think you should try to find a family. I know you like being with me but you deserve to have your own room, your own family. Don't you want a Mommy and a Daddy?"

David backed up immediately, looking at me with a hurt expression on his face. His lip began to tremble as he spoke.

"Do you not want to be my friend anymore?"

My heart broke inside of me. I couldn't stand to see him so sad, but I knew that I was looking out for his best interest. I knew that I shouldn't have offered what I was going to, but I decided that it couldn't hurt. It wasn't like I was going to be picked or anything.

"Of course I do! In fact, I think we should work together so we can get adopted by the same family!"

I saw an understanding grin cross over David's face.

"Do you think we should go tell Jack?"

David was quiet for a moment before he responded.

"I don't want him to live with us."

I stood back and felt shock wash over me. I had been afraid that my presence would leave Jack being left out but had David truly replaced his brother in his mind with me? I didn't understand.

"Why not?" I asked simply.

"People don't want some kid on crutches, plus I've been with him for seven years now."

I sighed. I wanted to fight, to preserve the relationship he had with his brother, but I didn't want to hurt him again. The chances of us being adopted (myself especially) were fairly low weren't they? I would play along for the day and everything would work out for the best.

"Alright then, you're the leader, what do we do next?"

David grinned.

"Follow me!" He grabbed my hand and began running back towards the house. I kept up as best as I could.

Chapter Sixteen

I sighed, looking around for any sign of James and Colby. It came as no great surprise that they weren't there. I wondered why they hadn't warned me of this day, or given me any kind of directive, but I supposed they left it up to common sense. I belonged to Mr. Terrance and no one else could have me. I just hoped that playing this game didn't put me back in their suspicion.

David suddenly popped out of the crowd, clutching two outfits and grinning from ear to ear.

"I got them!"

I smiled as convincingly as I could as David led me towards the basement. The bathroom above had a long line and apparently this wasn't the only bathroom available. By the time we reached the basement I suddenly knew why the space was reserved for the younger kids. The ceilings were short, not even a foot above my own head, and there seemed to be as many rooms crammed together as was possible. There was a light smell of mildew in the air and the wood paneling surrounding us reminded me of a trailer.

Apparently the younger kids were having trouble getting to the clothes because the entire space was eerily silent. David led me over to a door at the end of the hall that led into a room lined with showerheads. I supposed that the only way to accommodate for so many children smashed together was to only provide them with showers. I wondered if David was even allowed to take a bath upstairs or not.

David quickly stripped down, I followed suit, and we both stood next to each other and turned our respective showerheads on. As the water cascaded over my body I sighed, allowing the tenseness of the morning to escape me. David quickly tapped my shoulder and broke me from my moment of peace.

"C'mon! We have to get ready fast!"

I laughed a little. He truly was excited about the prospect of us living together in the same home. I almost wanted to mention Jack again but decided against it. By the time I started soaping up my rag David was rinsing and he quickly set forth re-soaping his own. I jumped in surprise as he began to wash my back.

"Slow poke!" He giggled, running his rag covered hand furiously around my back.

I giggled as well, washing my torso as quickly as I could. By the time I reached my legs he had already finished the back of them and was hopping up and down for me to rinse. I rang the rag out, placed it teasingly on David's head, and rinsed my entire body. We quickly dried off, dressed, brushed our hair and teeth and headed back upstairs.

As soon as we reached the landing above it became apparent that we had beaten the visitors and as soon as Bessie had caught sight of us, she let out a deep laugh.

"Lord honey you didn't have to get ready so fast!"

David blushed and I just patted his shoulder in consolation. It was nice to see him so excited but Bessie had knocked the wind out of his sails. The smell of bacon wafting through the dining room suddenly reminded him of breakfast.

"Let's eat!" He grabbed my hand and dragged me into the dining room.

The majority of the older boys had already taken their places. I looked over at James and Colby who seemed to be deep in conversation. José and Jake were talking in hushed tones but José never dared to cast a glance in my direction. I smiled to myself in satisfaction, suddenly feeling that I had no reason to fear the older boy. David broke me from my thoughts as Bessie began to carry the food out. The younger boys were filtering in little by little and apparently Bessie wasn't going to wait for them all to arrive.

David dutifully filled my plate with equal portions of what he was eating; four slices of bacon, two scoops of scrambled eggs, toast and a large glass of orange juice. He smiled impishly at me and shoveled a bit of his egg into his mouth. I smiled back, following his lead and chewed slowly. I knew that David was in a hurry but there wasn't any reason to be. The visitors would come in their own time apparently and I was a little afraid of the concept. What if someone knew what I was? What if someone actually decided to take an interest in me?

I was almost tempted to blow David off and just hide the rest of the day but I couldn't bring myself to disappoint him. I glanced over at James and Colby again in desperate hope of getting their attention but it was to no avail. Colby chewed his bagel slowly and James was nibbling on a slice of bacon. I grumbled to myself and instead turned to look at Bessie who was taking her seat a few seats down.

"What time are the visitors coming?" I asked innocently.

"Well they can start coming around ten but usually they don't come till later. You have a little while to wait yet." She laughed, shoving a forkful of egg in her mouth.

I nodded, looking at David who seemed too consumed by the contents of his plate to care. I looked over at Colby and noticed him surveying me with a blank look across his face. I stared back but he only averted his gaze. I felt my stomach churn in dread as to what was going through his mind.

"You full yet?" David tugged on my sleeve after swallowing the last bite of his bacon.

I looked down at my still half full plate and shrugged.

"Sure 3;"

David grinned and grabbed my hand, dragging me from the dining room as quickly as he could. I tried to catch sight of Colby one last time but David was moving too fast for me to do so.

Chapter Seventeen

"It's only been ten minutes!" I giggled, looking at my own dangling feet and the ground so far beneath us. We had climbed into a tree per David's suggestion. He felt that if we could see the visitors first we could also have first pick. If someone didn't look nice enough or like they'd be any fun then we'd just stay up here. If they looked like they could be good parents then we'd just climb down and be the first ones to meet them.

"It feels like forever!" David groaned.

"I know, but they will be here sooner than you think." I ruffled David's hair to which he giggled in reply. I had to admit that time was passing rather slowly. I was aware that time seemed to go on forever when I was young, and that it seemed to fly when I was an adult. Perhaps age regression made time last longer once more? Whenever I was playing with David it flew by to be sure, but now that I wasn't busy that wasn't the case.

"Look over there!" David pointed at a tree to my right. I turned quickly to see what he was pointing at and he licked my cheek.

I laughed along with David and thought momentarily about tickling him. I decided not to as tickling this far in the air probably wouldn't lead to good things.

"Can I ask you something?" David asked after regaining his composure.

"Sure." I replied, looking into his large vibrant eyes.

"How did you know I wasn't going to pee the other night?"

I blushed and looked down at my feet. That definitely wasn't the question I was expecting.

"It's just 3; I don't know." I shrugged and spoke in a frustrated tone.

"Oh 3;" David's expression turned to one of disappointment. He remained quiet for a moment and I began to feel bad for not answering him.

"I did the same thing before you did." I finally said, by way of an apology.

"I made you do that?" He asked, his eyes darting to mine.

"Yeah you did." I smiled a little, unsure of what to say or feel at that moment.

"Why didn't you say you had to pee?"

"I guess I just wanted to know what it felt like." I replied.

"What if you peed on me?"

"I didn't though." I said as innocently as I could. I wished that I could tell him that I knew what the feeling was. I wished I could explain what it meant and how wonderful an experience it was. Sadly I couldn't.

"I guess so 3;" David looked down at his feet once more to which I merely sighed.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"I don't know." I shrugged. Of course I knew but I didn't want him to know how frustrated I was.

"I didn't mean to make you mad." I watched as David's lip began to tremble. His hands rose to meet his face and rub his eyes. I began to feel my heart fall inside of my chest.

"Please don't cry! I'm not mad!"

David sniffled and looked into my eyes. His own eyes were puffy and red. I felt horrible for having been so short and I knew that I had to resolve it somehow.

"I've done it before." As I spoke I knew it wasn't a lie. If he asked anymore questions then I knew I'd had to lie at that point, but it was alright. Perhaps I could fool him; perhaps I could make him happy.

"You've rubbed against people before?" He asked with a great curiosity spread across his pale face.

"Not exactly 3;" I swallowed deeply.

"Then how did you do it?"

"Well you don't have to rub against people to feel that way 3;" my voice waivered nervously.

"How else can you do it?"

"You can rub against other stuff 3; Like a bed or something 3;"

"Is that what you did?"

I groaned deeply to myself. It had escaped me how curious children were at heart.

"You can jack off." I finally said. There was no way that I was going to delve into the intricacies of sex with him. I felt that even this was going too far but at least it would stop the discussion.

"Is that what you did?" He asked once more.

"Yes." I said simply and smiled, patting his leg and finally feeling relieved.

"Oh okay." He seemed satisfied and began to stare in the distance once more. I looked at him in mild disbelief. First of all, there was no way he knew what the term meant. Secondly, how could that knowledge make him happy? I wasn't sure what he was getting at or what it all meant but at least I had finally ended the conversation. I knew that my mind still worked on a different level than his and that his curiosity was simply for the sake of knowledge, so maybe I was reading too far into things. He didn't have to know how to make himself do it; he just wanted to know how I knew how to do it. He wanted to know how I had so much more knowledge than him on the subject. I felt myself begin to relax.

"I think I see something!" David yelled as he pointed out into the woods. Sure enough, I could see the outline of something moving in the distance. It was getting larger and larger with each passing moment and seemed to be rectangular in shape. After a few moments it became apparent that it was a car and David was hopping up and down excitedly.

I smiled at him and turned my gaze back to the approaching automobile. When it finally pulled up I saw that it was an older station wagon with wood paneling and nearly bald tires. I wondered to myself how they had the money to adopt anyone.

"That's a neat looking car." David said in complete seriousness. I nearly laughed but managed to control myself. When the doors flung open, a rotund woman with curly red hair and horn rimmed glasses stepped out. The passenger revealed himself to be a tall lanky man with curly brown hair and an adams apple so large it could be seen from the tree. David and I both looked at each other before we burst out laughing. I was laughing so hard that I nearly started to cry.

Thankfully neither of the members of the strange couple heard us and walked inside without a moment's thought. I almost felt sorry for the children they'd be going to see. Within a few minutes two more cars began traveling up the driveway and we waited patiently to see what the new couples would look like. I began to lose faith in the possibility of finding a suitable set of parents for David.

The first car was a large white sedan that seemed well maintained but fairly ordinary. An African American couple stepped out that looked like they were in their early thirties. The woman had a kind smile on her face and had curly hair running down her back. The man was fairly tall with short hair and wore a tan suit with a green tie. I looked at David who shrugged.

"Let's see who's in the next car."

I nodded in agreement as we turned our attention to them. If the car was any indication of their wealth, then it was vast. It was a black luxury car with bright chrome rims and tinted windows. The driver's side door opened first and a tall man in his mid-forties stepped out. He wore a pair of dark sunglasses, his black hair perfectly appointed on his head with a slight sprinkling of gray on the sides. He wore a pair of boots that were as shiny as the car and a loose white linen top that cascaded over his dark denim jeans. He walked over to open the passenger door and a tall statuesque figure stepped out. She had long platinum blonde hair that flowed straight down her back, deep penetrating blue eyes, and wore a red top and black skirt. I looked at David who seemed enamored.

"She's hot!"

I almost began to get sick to my stomach. There was no doubt in my mind how fake this couple was. Whatever they wanted they could afford and while they portrayed this perfect image on the outside, there was doubtlessly something darker within.

"HEY!" David yelled at the couple, waving his arms wildly. Before I could cover his mouth or stop him the couple turned and looked up at us.

"Hi there!" The man spoke with authority. His perfectly aligned teeth shined as the sun caught them. I groaned to myself as David hopped up and down excitedly.

"What's your name?" David called. I felt like I wanted to disappear, and I really wanted to take David with me, but it was no use.

"I'm Patrick and this is my wife Suzanne. What's your name?"

"I'm David! This is my best friend Ben!"

I blushed a little at his forwardness.

"Hi there Ben." Patrick waved kindly to me. I waved back a little, attempting to act shy.

"Why don't you two come down here?" Suzanne asked. She had a thick Texas accent that made me even sicker.

"Okay!" David shouted and tugged on my arm.

"Come on let's go!"

I groaned but complied. David climbed down first and I followed shortly. I watched from the shadows for a moment as David ran over and shook their hands. Patrick seemed to be as cordial as possible, shaking his hand briefly and raising his eyes to meet mine.

"Come on over son, don't be shy." He said with the same booming voice he had before.

I looked down at my feet for a moment before walking over. Suzanne looked at me with a little smile before kneeling down to talk with David. As soon as I approached Patrick he knelt down and held out his hand.

"Good to meet you."

I nodded and shook his hand in return. His hand lingered for a little longer than I was comfortable with so I finally pulled away.

"How old are you Ben?"

I wanted so badly to tell him my real age. I wanted to kick him in the shin and run as fast as I could. I knew what kind of person he was, my parents were made of the same stock. Money was the only thing that mattered and image was everything. They were doubtlessly looking for the perfect trophy child to bring home.

"I'm nine." I said after a moment's thought.

"Well that's a grand age, isn't it Suzanne?"

Suzanne looked away from David and smiled at her husband.

"It sure is!"

"Do you like video games Ben?"

I groaned. He was going to try and buy my affection.

"They're okay." I said simply. I wasn't going to make this easy for him.

"I see. Well what do you like Ben?" He rested his hand on my shoulder.

I almost shook it off but decided not to.

"I like to read, I like to be quiet, I like to keep to myself." I said with an evil grin on the inside.

"Well that's just swell." He smiled, patting my cheek gently.

"Sure 3; You know David is really intelligent. He likes to go outside and play, he likes video games." I spoke as innocently as I could.

Patrick laughed a little and pinched my nose.

"That's just wonderful isn't it?"

I turned red with anger. There wasn't any way in hell I was letting them ignore David like this.

"Hey David, do you want to go play?"

David turned from Suzanne with a slightly disappointed look on his face.

"I think we need to go do something."

David blinked in confusion but shrugged.

"I guess."

I smiled, glad that he had agreed.

"Good to meet you Patricia." I smiled sheepishly and turned to walk away.

"Certainly, hope to see you later." His voice seemed a bit gruffer than it had before. It made me uncomfortable but I decided to ignore it. I grabbed David's hand and ran into the woods as fast as I could. By the time we managed to clear a few trees and I saw the couple walk into the house, I looked down at David who still looked confused.

"Why did you do that?" He asked.

"They didn't have any interest in you, that woman was just being nice to you so Patrick could talk to me."

"How do you know that? She was really nice!"

I sighed, rubbing my temples.

"It's hard to explain 3; My parents are really rich like that and I know what people like that are."

David blinked, still looking confused, but decided to drop the subject.

"Do you want to go back up the tree?"

David shook his head.

"I think we can see them from here."

I smiled and nodded, sitting next to him on a patch of barren soil. As the morning progressed only a few more cars arrived. None of the couples seemed to capture David's attention despite my best efforts. I even suggested going inside to see the nice African American couple that had arrived moments before Patrick and Suzanne but he refused. I felt like I was ready to give up hope when a large red SUV drove up and parked in front of the house.

David and I watched intently as the driver's side door swung open. A tall nice looking man stepped out. He had black hair, green eyes and wore a pair of khakis and a red polo. The passenger's door followed and a young woman with red hair and blue eyes stepped out. She was wearing a green top and a pair of jeans. I couldn't help but get a tad excited. The couple looked like they could have been David and Jack's natural parents. I looked over at David who seemed slightly interested.

"I think you should go talk to them."

David looked at me a tad horrified.

"Aren't you coming too?"

I smiled and patted his shoulder.

"I'll be there in a little bit; I just need to go inside for a minute. They look really nice."

David looked unsure for a moment but finally sighed.

"Okay, but you better come!"

I smiled, "Of course I will."

He ran out of the woods and the couple turned around, bright smiles on both of their faces. I felt as though I had finally set things right. Hopefully they would see Jack soon and would have the perfect family. I walked out of the woods, skirting the brush, and approached the back of the house. I was going to go hide in my room for a little while and give David a chance to bond with the couple. As soon as I began walking up the steps Patrick suddenly appeared with that same fake smile spread across his face. I groaned and despite my best efforts, wasn't able to ignore him.

"Come take a seat with me." He said taking a seat on the bottom step and patting the spot next to him. I wanted to protest, I wanted to run away, but I also didn't want anyone to think there was something wrong with me. I descended the stairs and took my place, looking over at Patrick nervously.

He pulled a flask out of his pants, unscrewed the cap and let it rise to meet his lips. He took a deep swig and let out a sigh.

"Want some?" He inclined the flask in my direction. I almost wanted to scold him, to tell him how wrong he was offering alcohol to a minor, but I truly needed it. It had been a stressful day after all. I nodded and took the flask in my hands, taking a huge swig. I began to cough, and bent over. The burning sensation going down my throat felt foreign.

Patrick laughed and patted my back. "Good job little man."

I handed the flask back and just nodded.

"Thanks." I rubbed the tears from my eyes and finally sat upright.

"Do you have your own room here?"

I looked at him for a moment, slightly disturbed by his question.

"Yeah but I share it with someone."

"I see 3;" he said with a satisfied smile crossing his face. He emptied the remaining contents of the flask into his gullet and shoved the empty container in his pocket.

"Why don't you show it to me?"

I bit my lip, rolling over the possibilities in my mind. I wasn't entirely sure what he wanted or why my room was so important but I wasn't going to argue. He had no more ability to adopt me than he had the desire to adopt David.

"Sure." I said and stood, walking up the stairs and towards the rear entrance. Patrick followed closely as we winded our way through the crowd of boys and adults. I caught sight of David speaking animatedly to the couple from before. He seemed absolutely happy and hadn't even noticed me. I smiled to myself, pleased for him, and rounded the banister and started to climb the stairs. By the time we made it to the third floor I noticed that it was completely deserted.

I walked towards the room that James and I shared and swung open the door, walking inside. I turned to look at Patrick as he looked around in moderate disgust before entering and locking the door behind him. I began to feel my heart beat fast.

"So this is where they have you sleep?"

I nodded, frozen in place and unable to speak.

"What a pity 3;"

He rounded the corner and took a seat on James' bed. He patted the bedspread next to me so that I would take a seat next to him. It took me a moment to break through my frozen state but I managed to slowly walk over and sit. I was more afraid than I ever had been.

"Do you like my boots Ben?" He asked running his fingers through my messy brown hair.

"Sure 3;" I replied quietly. I was barely able to make my voice audible.

"I could buy you a pair just like this. In fact, I could buy you anything you ever wanted."

His arm reached around me as he began to gently rub my arm.

"That's cool 3;" I replied, quietly once more. I knew that whatever he was up to wasn't good. My previous assumptions about him were the least of my worries.

He laughed a little, taking his hands and wrapping them around my waist. Before I had a chance to protest he had lifted me up and placed me on his lap. I looked down at my legs as they dangled a good foot above the floor. Patrick had wrapped his arms around me and drawn me close to his chest, resting his face in my hair. I felt his nostrils inhale the fragrance.

"Anything," he reiterated.

I tried to pull away but he didn't lessen his grip. I turned my head to try and look at him but it was to no avail.

"Don't be afraid. Have you never had a man love you like this before?"

I shook my head violently. I wanted to cry, I wanted to protest, but I knew that it was useless. I had promised to never cry again and it was a promise I had no intention of breaking.

"I think you'd love living with us. With have a great big pool, lots of land for you to play on. I can even buy you all the books you could ever read." With each word his large hand inched closer to my waist. I felt his large fingers as they began to push into my waistband and towards my cock. I suddenly felt the smallest tinge of bravery rise up inside of me. I wasn't going to be bullied; I wasn't going to let this man take advantage of me. I shut my eyes tightly.

"STOP IT!" I yelled out. My eyes opened wide as the door burst open. Colby stood there with his arms crossed and Patrick's arms fell from the shock. I ran over and wrapped my arms around Colby tightly, so frightened that I never wanted to let go.

"Why don't you pick on somebody your own size?" Colby asked, smirking as he did his best to console me.

"I don't need this shit." Patrick scoffed and stood from the bed. He walked around Colby and back towards the stairs. Colby grabbed my arms and pushed me backwards, looking me deep in the eyes.

"Are you okay?"

I nodded, biting my lip and forcing the tears back.

"He tried to rape me."

Colby groaned and turned on his heel.

"Figures 3;"

I sniffed and just stood there, staring at the back of Colby's head.

"What do you mean?"

Colby smirked, "I know his type. The moment he walked in here I knew what he had on his mind. You are a damned fool for letting him bring you up here."

I sighed and looked down at my feet.

"I never thought 3;"

"Well start thinking!" Colby said, half exasperated, half angry.

I nodded and watched as Colby left the room. I plopped down on my bed for a moment to regain my composure.

Chapter Eighteen

When I reached the bottom of the stairs I saw David and Jack sitting together with the same couple from before. They seemed so happy and involved that it seemed a shame to disturb them. I felt this strong feeling of jealousy rise up inside of me. I wasn't able to explain it, or what it meant, but for the briefest of moments I imagined myself in David's place. For the briefest of moments I fantasized about what it would mean to have a normal Mother and Father, and the life that could lead to. I immediately shook the thought from my mind and sighed.

I circled around the banister and walked towards the electronics room. I figured if José and Jake were in there, they wouldn't mess with me after their experience with Colby. Even if they did mess with me it would be better than feeling those things again. As I spun towards the doorway and peaked in, I saw Colby and James sitting there, watching the television.

I smiled a little and waved, hoping desperately that they would invite me in. James noticed me first and smiled gently.

"Hey come on in."

I nodded, surveying Colby's face but his eyes never broke with the television. I took a seat next to James and looked at what was on. It was a cartoon, which one I wasn't sure, and I could tell that neither of the boys were interested. It was apparently just to keep up appearances.

"I noticed David getting pretty chummy with those two out there." Colby said gruffly. I blushed and looked down at my feet.

"Yeah 3;"

James smiled and turned to look at me better.

"It's for the best you know?"

I nodded, not really sure what to say. They apparently noticed that I was upset. I felt horrible for wanting him to stay but it wasn't something I could help.

"You'll be out of here in two weeks anyway." Colby commented without emotion. James groaned and elbowed him in the side causing Colby to recoil.

"Well it's true!"

"Quit being an ass." James said playfully, winking at Colby. I almost giggled in spite of myself. James actually made Colby seem human.

"Your hair is getting really long." James commented as he tugged on it a little. I blinked and pulled on a strand, watching as it nearly came down to my shoulders. I hadn't taken the time to give it any attention.

"I guess so 3; Frederick said it would do that for awhile."

"What color was it before?" James asked.

"Oh 3; It was blonde." I replied.

"I think you'd look better as a blonde." Colby commented, staring off into the distance.

"Thanks I guess."

The silence that followed was deafening. I was grateful for their invite but this wasn't exactly the fun time I had in mind. I had become accustomed to playing, and this was the opposite of that. I knew that they were more mature than me but we were all kids after all.

"Are you sad?" I asked James suddenly, trying to ascertain what was going on.

James laughed a little, looking down at the floor and then back at the television.

"Kind of 3;"

"So you feel it too!?" I asked excitedly. I finally felt vindicated.

"How the hell can you not? It doesn't matter how much you know or what you were, you are damned to have these 3; feelings." Colby said with a slight tone of anger. He crossed his arms around his chest.

"Sorry 3;" I said, my excitement quickly leaving me.

"Don't worry about it." James said gently, patting my leg.

I leaned back against the sofa in defeat when Bessie poked her head in to see what was going on.

"Now what are you boys doing in here?"

I looked at James and Colby who seemed more used to the questions than I was.

"Just letting the younger kids have a chance. We'll be okay Bessie." James said, smiling as genuinely as he could.

Bessie seemed a tad distressed but simply sighed in defeat.

"Now I expect this from these two but what's your excuse?" Bessie asked me suddenly. I felt my cheeks flush as both James and Colby stared at me. I'd have loved to tell her how one of these wonderful potential parents tried to rape me upstairs but I knew that I couldn't. I was to draw as little attention to myself as was possible.

"I don't like any of them." I said simply.

Bessie sighed, "Fine, fine 3; Don't make a mess now."

She walked out of the room with a look of defeat etched on her face. I frowned a little, feeling as though I had disappointed the only adult ally I had.

"Good job." Colby said, picking up the remote and turning it to a news channel. I groaned and leaned back. It was going to be a long day.

It felt like several hours had passed when lunch was finally served. As we walked into the dining room I noticed that there was a stark difference from the typical arrangement. The boys that had been talking to adults were sitting closer to the kitchen with their respective potential parents next to them. The boys that had been ignored were sitting closer to the entrance by themselves. They seemed fairly happy despite their situation and I felt confused. James seemed to know what was on my mind as he leaned in to whisper in my ear.

"The majority of these kids have been here since they were very young. They know who the cream of the crop is and who is doomed to stay here forever. It's like a pecking order of sorts."

I nodded, still slightly confused but I accepted it. I supposed that vanity was present in all things. We each sat next to each other beside a couple of boys I had never noticed before and waited for the food to be served. I rested my chin in my hands as I watched David and Jack with the same family from before. I stared intently at David, willing him to turn his head, but he never did. I wondered if he had ever even mentioned me. Before I had a chance to become any more depressed the door swung open and the same feast I had become accustomed to came out.

As everyone dug in I caught sight of a boy that appeared to be about twelve. He had dark brown hair that lay lazily in his eyes which were a piercing blue. His skin was fairly tan and he had this bemused expression spread across his face. I couldn't help but stare at him. He was handsome, certainly, but there was something about him that just caught my attention. His eyes rose to meet mine and I blinked in surprise, looking away quickly.

"What's up?" He asked; his voice still very childish.

I swallowed deeply as my eyes moved to meet his again.

"Nothing 3;" I said quietly.

The bemused expression on his face turned into a smirk and I began to squirm a little. James threw a roll at him causing his eyes to grow large.

"Really? Him?" The boy asked utterly bewildered. James nodded.

"What?" I asked, turning to look at James.

"He's 3; one of us."

I swallowed again and looked back at him. Suddenly it dawned on me why he seemed so interesting. The look in his eyes, his expressions, they were much older than he was. Even if it was slight it was still noticeable. Maybe I had some strange innate ability to tell who was like me. The boy's face seemed to return to normal as he placed a large scoop of mashed potatoes on his plate. He purposely reached over the table to hand them to me.

"Here you go."

I smiled, blushing a little, and took the bowl from him. I scooped myself a serving and passed the bowl over to James who simply laughed.

"Look out for him." He gestured towards the boy.

I began to protest, to explain I had no interest, but I decided not to. I couldn't deny that I was intrigued, and for the first time all day my mind was on something other than the loss of David. I grabbed a piece of meatloaf and some asparagus and began to dig in.

I would occasionally glance up and catch his gaze to which I would simply blush and return to my food. I wasn't sure what it was about him, but there was this attraction that he exuded that felt almost adult. As I pressed the last piece of asparagus in my mouth and rose to wait for him by the entrance, I noticed David, Jack and the family walking towards me. David grinned happily and waved, running up to hug me.

"Hey where have you been?"

I sighed, "I noticed you guys were having a lot of fun so I went and hung out with James and Colby."

David frowned a little but quickly regained his composure.

"Michael and Melinda are so cool! They live in Connecticut and have a farm! Do you know what Michael does for a living?"

I felt my insides turning to dust. "What's that?"

"He's a pilot! Isn't that so cool?"

I smiled and patted his head.

"It sure is. I hope you guys have fun."

"Oh yeah!"

I watched in disappointment as he walked away, not even noticing how hurt I was. Jack hobbled after him, giving me the slightest of smiles while Michael and Melinda laughed and spoke excitedly behind them. All at once I felt the same feelings of loneliness and abandon wash over me. I bit my lip, looked down at the floor and tried my hardest not to cry. I had no idea what to do. These feelings were so much stronger than any I had ever had before. My lips began to tremble as an unfamiliar hand wrapped around mine. I looked up to see the frame of the older boy, a gentle smile replacing his playful expression from before.

"Want to go somewhere and talk?"

I sniffed and nodded, grateful for any escape from this moment. I followed him as we walked towards the entrance and into the yard, hand in hand.

Chapter Nineteen

Even so, I couldn't bring myself to say anything. I occasionally glanced up at his face which seemed kind, but he had made no real effort to talk either. I wondered if he was respecting my thoughts or if he was just being nice. Either way I was grateful, and having company was always nice. All of a sudden he stopped and I looked around us. We were in a clearing of trees, and save an old mattress and a rotten tree trunk, there appeared to be nothing around us. There was no sound of children, of cars, of anything. We were absolutely and completely alone.

"You can sit on the trunk or next to me if you want." The boy plopped down on the old mattress.

I smiled and sat on the trunk, still not willing to completely trust him. He lay back with his hands around the back of his head and sighed, looking up at the canopy above us.

"That David kid means a lot to you huh?"

I stared at him for a moment in quiet contemplation before speaking.

"Yeah, he does 3;"

"You should never fall for the real ones; it always ends in heart break."

I suddenly felt affronted by his comments. Who was he to tell me who I should fall for and who I shouldn't? With that being said, how did he know anyway?

"Who said I loved him?"

The boy laughed a little, "Chill its fine. It's not like I'm going to tell anyone."

I sighed deeply. "Yeah so maybe I did 3; It's not my fault though."

The boy shook his head. "No it definitely isn't your fault. You didn't know any better."

I smiled a little. "What's your name anyway?"

The boy laughed. "Sorry I forgot 3; My name is Peter."

"I'm Ben."

"Good to finally meet you." He finally sat up, sitting Indian style, and smiled at me gently. I blushed, still not used to his kindness.

"The fabulous duo didn't want me to meet you." He said suddenly, drawing in the dirt with his finger.

"Why?" I asked.

"Well let's see 3; probably because I'm so adorable and nice." He grinned brightly causing me to laugh.

"Come on tell me!"

Peter grinned sheepishly. "I'm a little different than they are. I don't think being turned into a kid gives you a right to be a bitter asshole. I happen to love life, and I have fun with it. They're pretty serious about what they do, they get the job done and that's about it."

I nodded. It didn't make sense really but I could see it being plausible.

"I think that's good."

He looked up at me and smirked, "Be careful who you say that to."

I smiled again, stood up and plopped down on the mattress next to him. Peter was definitely at least a foot taller than me and had bigger hands and feet. It amazed me how much older he seemed to me.

"How old are you?" I asked, lying on my back and staring up at him.

Peter smiled with a pleased expression on his face and lay down next to me.

"In my current form I'm twelve years, three months. In reality I'm twenty-nine."

I blinked in surprise. "I'm twenty-nine too."

Peter smiled, "Small world huh?"

I nodded. "How long have you been doing this?"

Peter thought for a moment. "Let's see here 3; I guess about nine years now."

That definitely took me by surprise. Both James and Colby were older and were transformed at more advanced ages. The idea of them regressing a twenty year old seemed shocking.

"Why did that happen to you so young?"

Peter shrugged. "Wrong place, wrong time? I don't know really. I heard what was happening around that alley and I went to get some action. When one of the kids asked me for money and I said I didn't have it, they drugged me and that was all she wrote."

I sighed, remembering my own first night. "I guess we have a lot in common."

"Is that what happened to you?"

"Well sort of 3; I thought there were men down there though. I'm not a pedophile. Not that there's anything wrong with that or anything!"

I protested suddenly, not wanting to hurt his feelings. He had been the kindest person to me so far. Thankfully he just laughed in return.

"It's cool don't be scared. I always liked kids but I never actually did anything. Going down that alley was my first try and you see what it did for me." He smirked.

"Do you like it?"

"What?"

"Being like this 3;"

Peter seemed thoughtful for a moment as he picked my hand up and wrapped his fingers around mine. I stared at our hands together and smiled a little.

"It could be worse you know? It's not that bad."

"I like the being a kid part. It's kind of fun to play games and enjoy myself for once. I just don't want to do the sex stuff."

Peter laughed a little. "Hey don't knock the sex stuff, it's not so bad."

I blushed furiously only causing him to laugh more.

"You liked sex as an adult didn't you?"

"Well, yes, I didn't have it all that much though."

Peter smirked. "Join the club. I was a virgin before I was regressed."

My eyebrows rose in wonder, "Really?"

"Sadly, yes."

I lay there for a moment, our hands still wrapped together, as I let the idea filter through my mind.

"Never?"

Peter laughed again. "Why is that so hard to believe?"

"I don't know you just seem so sweet."

Peter smiled, "Thanks, I appreciate that."

I nodded, looking in his penetrating blue eyes. If he looked even remotely like this as an adult I would have been all over him.

"Turn on your side." Peter asked suddenly.

My eyes grew large and as I began to protest Peter merely smirked.

"Not for that you dummy just turn over."

I nodded, a little nervously, but complied. As soon as I did he pressed his body closely against mine and wrapped his arm around my torso. He allowed me to rest my head on his arm. I smiled, blushing intensely, but enjoyed the sensation of being close to him like that.

"I like talking to you." I said simply. I wasn't sure what else to say.

"Thanks I like listening to you." Peter replied, running an errant finger up and down my arm and sending shivers through me.

The next hour with him was as ideal as any hour could be. We never did anything besides talk, but just having someone on the same level as me was amazing. He spoke maturely in general, but occasionally had childish slipups. His general demeanor was playful, but the way that he held me showed a much more mature and nurturing side. If anyone understood my plight as fully as I did, it was Peter, and I was grateful to have met him. There was a side of me that was certain that James and Colby didn't want us to meet for another reason than the one he provided, but at that moment I didn't care.

There wasn't a single subject that seemed taboo; everything from his first time, to how he felt when he first regressed, to how much he knew about the area. When I expressed my concerns about Mr. Terrance and my desire to run away, he seemed to understand more than anyone had. While he had never been leased to anyone, it wasn't something that appealed to him. For the briefest of moments we fell silent, and I thought that my moment of bliss was about to end. It was then that Peter surprised me.

"Why don't we just run away together?"

I almost laughed but managed to keep it in.

"You like it here though."

Peter shrugged. "I never said I liked it, I said it could be worse. I never actually thought about running away before 3;"

I broke our spooning and turned over so I could face him.

"You like what you do though don't you? I thought you were cool with it."

"I like adventure, I don't know. I'm not saying I'm going to do it or anything, but it's something to think about. I think we'd have a better chance if we went together."

I stared at him for a moment in silence letting his words tumble around in my mind. Certainly two heads are better than one, but it wasn't fair to him to take advantage of his generous nature. He was one fifth of the way done with his servitude as it was.

"You are almost done though." I protested.

"I don't know if I really want to be done. We have an advantage being adults you know? Once we get regressed further and we start to age we won't remember any of this. Then we'll just be 3; normal."

I thought for another moment and sighed, my fingers absent mindedly played with his collar.

"I'll think about it."

"Well good I will too." He smiled brightly at me.

I blushed again, letting my hand fall as I looked at the space between us.

"Not to break the mood but are you about ready to go back?"

I blinked and looked into his eyes. "I guess so. I feel better, thanks for everything."

"Anytime 3;" Suddenly, without any warning, he leaned in and gently kissed me on the lips. My already red cheeks began to flush even more and I was left completely speechless. Peter merely giggled.

"Come on let's go." Peter stood and offered his hand. I nodded, shaking the kiss off, and took his hand. I looked up into his eyes again and smiled.

"Last one there's a rotten egg!"

I began to run as fast as I could. I knew since he was older he'd have no trouble beating me but I'd enjoy the game just the same. Peter laughed, catching up with me quickly, and we both ran back through the woods with Peter leading the way by my side.

Chapter Twenty

As we neared the clearing ahead I couldn't pretend that I didn't feel better. Meeting Peter was an unexpected and welcome surprise on many levels. At the moment that I felt the most dismal I ever had, he seemed to know exactly what to do. I couldn't be sure at that time what he would mean for me in the future, but I wanted him to mean something. I found it impossible to believe that he was distrusted for the reasons he provided, but that was alright. The gift of his company was enough for me.

When the house came into view I was happy to see that the cars were gone. Although I was still happy, my thoughts immediately returned to David. I wondered what he was doing and how he felt. There was no way for me to know what time it was, but I was looking forward to sitting with him at dinner no matter how much it would hurt.

"Are you going to be alright?" Peter suddenly asked, shaking me from my thoughts.

"Yeah I'll be fine." I smiled at him, squeezing his hand gently. I very much liked the feeling of his hand around mine. It was definitely larger than mine, and exuded a warmth that seemed to permeate my entire being.

"I guess we're about to see huh?"

I looked at him curiously as we ascended the stairs; Peter's hand wrapped around the door knob, turned it and pushed the portal open. Immediately the smell of dinner began to waft from the dining room and I instantly knew what he meant. It wouldn't be long now before I would be forced to confront David. I knew what I would do, and that would be nothing. He was too young to know how I felt and there was no reason he should have to. He was, after all, just a child.

I heard my stomach groan for the first time all day. I hadn't realized how much time we had spent in the woods, and I was more than ready to eat. At the sight of some young boys rushing past us Peter's hand dropped from mine, and I felt a cold chill cover my entire body. He smiled warmly, trying to encourage me, as we walked into the dining room together.

"Ben!" I heard the familiar voice of David call. My eyes immediately shot to our usual seats, and seeing him alone all at once I felt both happy and sad. The temporary nature of our relationship became more real than it ever had before. I certainly knew that we couldn't be friends forever, but never before had I felt that. Before I could open my mouth in reply, Peter's hand wrapped tightly around mine once more and began to drag me towards the other side of the table.

"Wait a minute!" I began to protest but was quickly silenced.

"There's no point in you trying to be nice to him. He'll be gone soon; you saw how he got along with that couple.

I felt a stream of tears rise up in my eyes but I managed to fight them back. Peter was right of course, but I didn't want to let go. The child within me wanted to cherish what little time I had. The experiment we enjoyed was trivial; it was the gift of his company and his youthful vigor that I wanted. I would be willing to suffer for that. Peter seemed impossibly dead set against it.

As soon as we sat I couldn't help myself anymore. My eyes rose to meet David's. Each beautifully proportioned blue eye cast daggers into my soul. The look of hurt and confusion was enough to make my stomach churn and all I wanted to do was run away; Peter's hand clasped firmly around my own beneath the table. I looked at him incapable of hiding my own emotions. The anxiety and pain that I felt was as plain as the nose on my face. He simply shook his head lightly, not so much dismissing my feelings as he was just telling me to forget them.

How was that possible? This boy who knew so much about what I felt should at the very least understand my pain. I couldn't release these feelings as though they were nothing more than a toy. I squeezed his hand tightly, trying my best to make him feel the same pain that I did. My eyes rose once more to survey David. A few tears slid silently down his cheeks but he made no effort to look at me. I had hurt David, and there was nothing I could do to change it. I wanted to hate Peter for what he did, I wanted to hurt him, but I knew that what he did was for the best. I looked casually at him from the corner of my eye. His eyes seemed to have no ability to leave my face, each one surveying me in both warmth and sympathy. I sighed, in both lament and acceptance. It was all for the best.

As Bessie brought out each dish, my hunger didn't seem to want to return. Just the same, Peter put a small portion of everything onto my plate for me. I smiled gently, incapable of speech.

"You need to eat. You are a growing boy." He winked, trying to break the serious mood.

I simply nodded, prodding at a piece of corn on the edge of my plate. I wanted to look at David but I refused myself the right. I settled on looking across the table at James and Colby. The two were eating, seemingly oblivious of my plight. It wasn't entirely unexpected; it was the norm for them after all. Just the same I needed an outlet for my frustrations, and there was little keeping me from seeking it. With a swift movement my foot reached beneath the expanse of the table and landed firmly on James' leg, sending him into the air with surprise.

"What was that for!?" He yelled, glowering at me in anger. At once I felt bad for having kicked him; I wasn't sure what had possessed me to do so. It was such a childish thing to do, to want to transplant my pain onto another. All I could do was assume it was a part of the regression.

"Sorry my foot slipped." Peter said suddenly. His face was emotionless and I looked at him in shock. What would possess him to take the blame for me? James' face became even more enraged as he sat down, his attention now focused on Peter.

"I told you he was up to no good."

"Simmer down you two!" I heard Bessie's voice come across the table. Several of the other boys were watching, an eerie silence covered the entire dining room.

"Yes mam," both James and Peter sounded at once. My hand squeezed Peter's thigh by way of thanks and he simply smiled.

"Now eat," he commanded.

I sighed, unable to deny his request. Although the contents of my plate were cold I shoveled them quickly into my mouth. Each bite felt like it weighed a ton and swallowing seemed impossible.

When I had finished off about three quarters Peter seemed satisfied. I laid my fork down and sighed, wishing dinner to hurry up and finish.

"For dishes we have James, Peter and Jake." Bessie called out, finally bringing an end to my uncomfortable meal. I looked at Peter, trying to extend a deeper apology for getting him stuck with dishes. He seemed to understand, ruffling my hair and rising to collect some of the dirty dishes that surrounded us. Colby's eyes surveyed Peter deeply, and I couldn't help but fear for him. If he was willing to hurt an actual child as much as he had, then what would he do to Peter?

"I'll see you later."Peter said, following James into the kitchen with his load. I stood, sighing deeply, and began to walk towards the exit.

I stopped momentarily in the entrance, rolling the idea of waiting for Peter around in my mind, when suddenly a shove from my side sent me cascading to the floor. I turned quickly, expecting to see José or even Colby standing above me, but I only saw the frame of David as he passed. My hand rose to grip my chest. What had been done was unfixable.

As I began to feel tears rise in my eyes for the umpteenth time that day, my feet found new strength. I felt them pressing beneath me with force as I flew to my full height. With equal power each foot seemed to rise with its own will, pushing me up each stair and away from the pain that was below me. I flew across the hallway once I cleared the landing and into my room, slamming the door behind me. I launched my body onto the bed and buried my head deep within my pillow. Within moments I drifted away into a restless slumber.

Chapter Twenty One

My attention shifted as the second light began to form. At first I didn't recognize what I was seeing, but in time I began to understand. It was me as I am now, brown hair and all. Instead of wearing clothes, I was completely nude and an empty lump on the floor. My eyes were barely open, any glimmer of life completely absent. The shadow of my adult self seemed darker than the surroundings, and cast over my childhood self. I fell to my knees, unable to comprehend what I was seeing. I clawed at the ground, seeking an escape, unable to find one.

My older self looked at me, an evil smirk forming on his face. His foot rose as he began to walk towards me. I scooted backwards, away from the child me and the pursuing me, a lump rising up in my throat. I wanted to yell, I wanted to ask for help, but it was impossible. As the adult me began to reach out, engulfing the full range of my vision with my hand, my eyes shot open and I awoke to the familiar surroundings of my room. I was safe.

As I sat up, drenched in sweat, the familiar sight of Frederick in the corner forced me out of my shocked state. I swallowed, trying to pull whatever saliva there was from my dry mouth, and inclined my head in his direction. He merely smiled and stood, walking towards me and sitting on the edge of the bed.

"That must have been some dream," he stated in a mellow tone. I merely nodded, staring at my toes as they curled beneath me.

"Anything you want to talk about?" He asked, looking over me with a curiosity that I felt extended beyond my dream. I merely shook my head, finally allowing my eyes to rise and meet his.

"I'm good 3; Thanks." I mumbled at the end. I knew Frederick was coming but it was no more pleasant than it ever was.

"Very well, I do at least have some good news for you this evening."

My interest suddenly peaked and my mood began to improve exponentially.

"What?" I asked excitedly. Perhaps the payment hadn't gone through; perhaps Mr. Terrance had changed his mind. I knew in my mind that the possibility of those things occurring was slim, but my heart hoped just the same. I watched disappointedly as a delighted sneer passed over Frederick's face.

"My, how excited you are! Well I guess I shouldn't keep you in suspense. This will be the last time you will see me."

My stomach flew to my feet. Was Mr. Terrance taking possession of me earlier than expected? Had my training been completed that quickly? I immediately began to feel distress. I had no idea what evil was awaiting me now. Seeing the distress on my face, Frederick began to laugh.

"I didn't know you cared for me so deeply! I'm touched, truly I am."

I still felt confused and worried about what was going to come next. Frederick was nothing if not unpredictable.

"Why won't I see you again?" I managed to squeak out in a weak voice. Frederick's face returned to normal as the laughing died down.

"Your training begins tomorrow night." He rose to his feet and walked towards the window, staring at something that I couldn't see. I sighed with relief but was a little confused.

"I thought that's what I had already been doing with you?" I asked, seeking clarity.

"These talks? Oh my, no. Perhaps you know a bit more about your predicament but you have no idea what else is 3; involved." The final word sent shivers through my spine.

"By involved what do you mean?"

"I refuse to answer stupid questions," he snapped back quickly, apparently losing his patience. I stared down at my feet once more. I was certain I knew what he meant but it wasn't something I wanted to think of.

"I was thinking James would be the ideal candidate for your training. How do you feel?" He eyes still surveyed the yard intently.

"What about Peter?" As soon as the words slipped from my lips I realized I wasn't thinking. I could feel my cheeks turn red as Frederick turned on his heel. His eyes bore into me with an intense curiosity. I felt at once that I was right about what his questions were when I first awoke. I also felt dirty, partially because my mind went to such a dark place so quickly, and also because of the way Frederick was staring at me. It wasn't the look of curiosity one had towards a peculiar situation, it was the look of curiosity one has for an animal or a science experiment.

"That was mostly a rhetorical question, but I must ask 3;" Frederick's voice trailed off as he looked out the window once more and then back to me. Already anticipating his question I was prepared.

"Peter is really nice. He helped me today after, well 3;" I looked down once more feeling tears rush to my eyes again.

"This predicament with David?" Frederick asked. I wasn't sure if he was looking at me or not but it felt like it. I simply nodded in return.

"I fear that you have the wrong impression of Peter," he said simply. I looked up finally, his eyes surveying the outside once more. The look of curiosity was gone and a blank expression took its place.

"Why does he have to be a bad person because he isn't an asshole? So what if he has a little fun every now and then?" I knew my response was foolish as soon as I said it. Frederick laughed darkly.

"He calls it fun does he?"

I sat back, feeling incredibly foolish, but I was unwilling to change my opinion of Peter.

"Did he tell you this?"

My fingers absentmindedly played with the hem of my shirt. "Yes 3;"

Frederick smirked. "And you believed him?"

"Not really 3;"

Frederick rolled his eyes. "It's of no consequence to me. If you want him to train you then fine."

I nodded, smiling a little.

"Thanks." I whispered.

"Certainly 3;" Frederick turned his attention away from the window and brought his hands together in front of his face, bowing ever so slightly.

"With that I bid you adieu. I hope that you enjoy yourself."

I nodded watching him as he approached the door. Although I didn't care, my curiosity got the better of me.

"What did he do that was so bad?" As I asked, Frederick stopped for the briefest of moments, letting out an audible sigh.

"That's a question best reserved for Peter."

With those words Frederick turned the knob and walked out into the hall. Without a single additional glance, he left my life for what I assumed would be a very long time. I stared at the door in silence trying to figure out what he could have done to make them dislike him so. It wasn't like they were the kind of people that you wanted to impress, but there was something about the tone James and Frederick used when they discussed him. I wasn't sure if I'd ever have the gall to ask him myself, but I knew in my heart that it couldn't be all that bad.

As I lied back down to try and sleep awhile longer, my eyes grew wide.

"I asked him to let Peter train me 3;"

My cheeks turned violently red again as the idea of being with Peter in that manner caused several emotions to run through me. I felt foolish for having suggested it, especially without so much as a second thought, and I also felt strangely aroused. My fingers fell, tracing the outline of my cock through my shorts. I felt a shiver pass over my spine.

I couldn't be sure what the training would involve but maybe doing it with Peter wouldn't be so bad after all? My hand fell away as I sighed, closing my eyes and fighting with myself to go to sleep. Between the thoughts running through my mind, my confusion, my curiosity and my erection, it was no easy feat. Half an hour later the exhaustion of the day managed to overwhelm me, and I settled into more restful dreams.

Chapter Twenty Two

"Wake up."

The words were simple enough but my mind refused to comprehend their meaning. It was as though I had forgotten how to speak, how to hear. After the week I had who could blame me?

"Wake up."

The same words filtered into my blanket laden cocoon once more, this time in a harsher tone. At once comprehension of their meaning dawned on me, but I didn't like it. Perhaps I was already asleep and this was just a dream? Who would be so cruel as to try and wake me from such a peaceful slumber?

"Seriously, wake up!"

This time the words were even harsher and I realized that I wasn't dreaming. There would be no way for me to ignore them much longer. Just the same, I felt that it was worth trying. Maybe if I feigned sleep they wouldn't return. I smashed my eye lids down as tightly as I could, wishing them away.

"Damn it Ben!"

I felt two hands grab the blanket and rip it off of my head. I immediately grabbed for my pillow, pressing it over my face and willing myself to disappear.

"I know you were up late last night but you need to get up. It's big brother day."

The voice of James finally managed to break my will. I slowly removed the pillow, looking at the slightly older boy with a pouty expression on my face.

"Don't try that with me. This is mandatory. If I have to go so do you. Now get up!"

James' hands grabbed the blanket and tried to force it off of me, only causing my body to fall over and hit the floor with a bang. I groaned, holding my head and cursed silently under my breath.

"You're a rough sleeper." James smirked, staring down at me as though I were a rag doll at his feet. I smiled as genuinely as I could, trying to hide my displeasure the best way I could. I wasn't going to be mean; I had won a great battle the previous evening already. James was to be a temporary fixture in my life after all. So what if he had no compassion? It wasn't his fault he was an asshole.

"So I've been told 3;" I sat up, still rubbing my head and wishing the pain from its collision with the floor to go away.

"So what's big brother day and what does it have to do with me?"

James groaned, plopping down on his mattress. I looked at him expectantly as I rose to my feet and sat across from him on my own bed. He looked incredibly exhausted and I found myself almost feeling sorry for him. He did have a much rougher schedule than I.

"It's almost always the day after we have open house. Some adult male volunteers come up here to bond with the boys. It's a requirement, unfortunately, so we have to get going. Else wise Bessie will be up here shortly and I assure you that you don't want her waking you up."

I nodded, accepting the inevitability of my situation. Surely this wouldn't be as bad as yesterday. It would at least afford me the opportunity to not have to see David for awhile longer. I stood to my full height, patted James on the head and walked towards the door.

"Where are you going?" James asked, mildly amused.

"To take a shower, where else?"

I closed the door behind me and looked down the hall, half expecting a similar flood of boys as I had seen the day before. Fortunately it seemed I wasn't the only one that was annoyed by the concept. With each step I listened for the sounds of running boys or even the softest voice, but was met with nothing. By the time I reached the bottom, assured of my solitude, I merely sighed and walked over towards the closet to extract a change of clothes. A few moments later I was in the bathroom, running a tub of warm water and standing naked and exposed near the door.

"You're up early."

I nearly jumped out of my skin at the unfamiliar voice sounding behind me. I turned on my heel, trying to catch my breath, and stared at the still dressed vision of Peter in the door frame. I smiled, trying to compose myself, and merely nodded.

"Just woke up?" He asked with a slight smirk on his face. I nodded, taking a moment to realize what he was looking at. My hands immediately rose to cover myself as my cheeks flushed violently. Peter erupted in laughter, leaned against the door frame and passed his index finger along his jaw line in a curious manner.

"No reason to be embarrassed I'm just teasing. Did you sleep well?"

I nodded, still not wanting to let him see me. It seemed an entirely senseless act. He was, after all, going to train me.

"Yeah I did, thanks for everything yesterday."

Peter smiled, walking past me and sitting on the commode.

"Sure thing."

I stood there, my cheeks refusing to lose their crimson shade, staring at him with a great amount of confusion. Did he actually want to watch me bathe or did he just want to talk? Either way I didn't want to expose myself to him, not yet anyway. Showing my body to Bessie or David was one thing, but showing Peter was something different entirely.

"Do you want me to leave?" He asked, apparently sensing my confusion.

"N 3;no! I mean, not if you don't want to." I grinned awkwardly trying to be friendly, but probably looked incredibly deranged.

"I just thought we could talk some more. I heard about what happened with David last night." As he finished his sentence he reached over to stop the water. I smiled, grateful that he had more of an ability to keep his senses in this situation than I did. My mind immediately fell on the events of the prior day.

"Yeah it was 3;" My voice trailed off as I tried to think of a way to put my thoughts into words. I really wanted Peter to know, to console me, but he was a part of why David was so mad at me. I knew that everything he did was for my best interest but was my happiness worth the happiness of David? I sighed, looking at the floor. It was impossible to say everything that was on my mind. I didn't think anyone was capable of talking that quickly.

"Maybe you should get in the bath while you're thinking about it." Peter laughed, only causing me to blush a shade deeper once more. I managed to climb in with only the briefest of exposures. As I settled into the water, allowing the warmth to relax me, I looked into Peter's face trying to find some clarity.

"I know that he's only temporary but why did you make me ignore him like that? At least I could have made him happy for a little while." I finally said, unable to think of anything better.

"Well the closer you get the more it's going to hurt when everything is said and done. Plus, he takes time away that I could be spending with you." The smile that rose on his face was perhaps the most seductive smile I had ever seen in my life. I was struck speechless, unable to think of a reply to that. My head slipped into the water slightly, concealing my reddened cheeks as my eyes floated just enough above to still survey him. Peter laughed once more.

"You're adorable, you know that?"

I smiled, realizing that I was under the water and sat back up so he could see it. The back of my hair was now wet and clung to my shoulders.

"Seriously though, I didn't like seeing you sad. If you allow yourself to still spend time with him then it's only going to be worse when he leaves. I don't want to have to see you like that again and I know you don't want to feel like that again."

I nodded, sighing to myself and staring at my feet through the water. He was right, I knew as much, but I still wanted to feel as though I had been wronged somehow. The thought of making David sad was enough for me to want to end my own life. Realizing the time I grabbed a rag and began to soap it up, casting glances at Peter occasionally. He seemed to be content just watching me, his warm smile ever present.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked, running the soaped up rag along my arm as I did so. Peter nodded, sitting back and crossing his arms across his chest. I felt incredibly comfortable with him, and as much as that frightened me, I was going to take advantage of it.

"Why does everyone tell me I need to watch out for you?"

As Peter began to open his mouth I stopped him.

"The truth." I said with a sternness that was fairly uncharacteristic. Peter sighed, sitting forward, and tapped his fingers anxiously on my knee.

"I think you're too young to know that." He smiled teasingly to which I replied with a frown.

"Come on 3;" I pleaded, probably a little more childishly than I should have.

"Promise you'll still love me?"

I blushed a little at his presumptive statement but nodded. I scooted forward, prepared for whatever he was going to say. I was certain that whatever it was couldn't be that bad.

"When I was first regressed, there were a lot more of us here than there are now. Before this whole witch hunt against child predators began people were just generally more daring, more willing to walk the dark alleys and see what was waiting for them."

I watched intently with each word, continuing to absentmindedly wash the same spot on my chest over and over.

"Like I told you yesterday I've always liked kids. It wasn't something that I had to discover, it was something that I already knew. One day when I was working this weird guy came into the café I waited tables at. I had seen him before, but I didn't know a whole lot about him. Apparently he knew a lot more about me than I did about him because as soon as I walked over he started hitting on me. I was a little creeped out by the whole thing, but since I was a virgin and curious I returned the attention. When all was said and done he asked me what time I got off and he said he'd be waiting for me when I left."

I nodded, stood and washed the rest of my body. I figured since he was exposing himself to me in a figurative sense, I could do so in a literal sense. His eyes seemed transfixed with the floor anyway.

"Sure enough when I got off he was waiting and we went back to his place to have some drinks. The guys name was Alexander and he said he worked for some company as a file clerk. Anyway after a few drinks I had to go to the bathroom so I excused myself and headed down his hallway to find it."

My eyes grew large as realization began to dawn on my face.

"This Alexander, was he kind of tall with black hair and blue eyes?" I asked, my lips trembling the whole time.

Peter's eyes finally released their hold on the floor and flew to mine. The look in his eyes was one of understanding and sympathy. I sat back, refusing to believe what I had heard. Was this Alexander the same man that told me about the alley? It was almost impossible to believe.

"I think, before I answer that, it's best that I finish my story 3; at least this part." Peter spoke in a more solemn voice than he had before. His mouth seemed parched and I wanted so badly to demand an immediate answer. Just the same, I knew he wanted to finish for a reason.

"When I found the bathroom and went inside, I decided to be nosy. I looked through some of his drawers and found some photographs of boys. Having the same attraction, I became immediately infatuated and lost track of time. I kept staring as though I had discovered some great treasure and before I knew it Alexander had walked in to see what was going on. He played it off really cool, not even getting mad about me invading his personal space, and invited me back into the living room to talk about it.

Naturally I had no reason to be afraid anymore, he asked me questions and I answered them. I told him I liked boys, I told him that I liked his pictures. He just listened to every last bit of my stupid ramblings and nodded, drawing me into his fucking web. After I spilled my heart out to him he decided to impart the knowledge of the alley to me. He told me all about how these young men were down there and that for a nominal fee I could fulfill my every desire. I was happy to learn about it of course, but having no money and being shaken by the whole thing I just chose to leave."

I felt my blood boiling inside of me. There was no doubt in my mind that this Alexander was the same one that I knew. These rules that were explained to me about who was chosen and why were nothing more than lies. How could I have been so foolish? There was no crime that I committed, as I very well knew. We had been trapped, we were sought; we were forced into this.

"So a couple weeks passed and I couldn't get the idea out of my mind. I worked too much to have a social life and I was lonely. I knew I didn't have the money but I wanted to see what was going on just the same. Maybe I'd get lucky and get to watch one of them going at it, or maybe I'd just be able to corner one and have my way with him. I had no idea what was going through my mind but I had this intense desire to go just the same. So when I got off of work that night I went to the warehouses, happened upon a boy and when it was discovered I didn't have the money to pay for him, well the rest is history."

My hands rose to cup my mouth. I wanted to yell, to fight back against these people, but there was nothing I could do. Peter had been hoodwinked 3; I had been hoodwinked. I didn't even know that I had. I had spent so much time believing that I was a bad person that I never thought to look any deeper. A single tear fell from my eye as a feeling of hopelessness washed over me. Peter smiled gently, leaned forward and rested his hand on my shoulder.

"You too?" he asked.

I nodded, unable to speak.

"Do you want to hear the rest? Why they despise me so?"

I nodded once more. Although I was seething with anger I couldn't miss this. Perhaps it was relevant to my own situation.

"Back then Purity wasn't as careful about who they brought around. One day when they had visitation the bastard had the nerve to show up. Basically it was so Purity could keep an eye on their flock and make sure none of the adults messed with them, and I guess they assumed we wouldn't recognize him. I still have no idea if everyone else had just forgotten or if they had different ways of recruiting us than just him, but I knew exactly who he was. As soon as I saw him, I knew. I ran up to him of course, demanding an explanation, but he just told me that I was being stupid. Bessie made me go to my room and I was locked away for the rest of the day.

That night that fucking Frederick came to talk to me. He tried to act nonchalant, like nothing had ever happened. I was on to him and I forced him to admit it. As soon as he did I called him on his shit and all he could say was that it was still my choice to go down that alley. I demanded my freedom, and of course he refused me. I tried to take him down but it was no use of course. At the time he kept the form of someone in their mid-thirties so he was significantly larger and stronger than me. He left, warning me to watch myself, and I at once made a decision."

Peter swallowed deeply, looking up at the ceiling above him. He almost looked like an angel to me. I couldn't look away, I just had to see and hear everything that he had to say.

"I knew I couldn't hurt him but I could hurt his pockets. I went down to the kitchen, got a knife, and 3;" Peter's eyes began to tear up. I sat back in shock, already expecting what was coming next. I could see the pain and regret all over Peter's face as he uttered each word.

"I murdered them, all three of the men that were on my floor. I walked into their rooms one by one and slit their throats. I don't know how I did it, but I did. I felt like each time I slit their throats I was somehow hurting Frederick personally. I knew that he'd kill me that it would be the end of my life, but it felt so worth it. There was no way I was going to let him trick me and get away with it."

He began to sob uncontrollably into his hands. I wasn't sure why, but I felt incredibly sorry for him. I didn't feel repulsed by what he did; I almost understood it, even if I knew I could never do it myself. I stepped out of the tub, soaking wet, and wrapped my arms around him pulling his head close to my chest. I consoled him for what felt like hours, his tears falling to meet the beads of water as they cascaded down my body.

"Please don't hate me!" He managed to squeak between sobs, pulling back from me and looking into my face with puffy red eyes. I laid my hands on both of his shoulders and pressed my forehead to his, looking deep into his eyes.

"I could never hate you. I don't think I could ever do anything like that 3; but I understand." I spoke nothing but the truth concerning how I felt. I understood well why the other boys distrusted him.

Sadly I doubted they knew the truth behind his motivation. I was angry, to be sure, but all I wanted to do was console Peter. My own situation aside, he was all that mattered to me now.

"Really?" He asked, wiping his eyes and looking somewhat relieved.

"Really." I smiled, hugging him tightly once more as he returned my embrace. My body shivered in the breeze from the hallway but the warmth of his body helped. I broke away as I remembered what today was.

"I hate to do this but we need to go 3;" I whispered in the most assuring voice I could. Peter nodded, rubbed his eyes and forced a smile back onto his face.

"Guess you're right." He stood and began to walk out of the bathroom.

"Wait!" I yelled, catching myself by surprise at my bravado. Peter turned, looking at me with a renewed sense of curiosity.

"I love you." I smiled deeply. I knew that the words were sudden, but they were true. In that moment, Peter completely exposed to me, I felt the emotion so strongly that I could no longer deny it. This kind, scarred, mistreated man before me; this was the one that I wanted. I would have done anything to make him happy.

"I love you too." Peter smiled genuinely, the light that I knew so well immediately returned to his face. I grinned in return, feeling at once complete and prepared for anything. Peter's hand reached towards the vanity and grasped my towel, flinging it at me.

"Better get ready."

I blushed, remembering that I had been standing there completely exposed. I wrapped the towel around myself as quickly as I could. Peter's laughter warmed me.

"See you later?"

I nodded. "Sure."

Chapter Twenty Three

As I descended the stairs towards the dining room I saw that I had missed breakfast. The boys neatly filed out of the room and towards their chosen destinations. My stomach growled for the first time all morning as I suddenly realized how hungry I really was. As I settled myself on being hungry for awhile longer, I caught sight of David as soon as he exited the dining room. My stomach lurched and tightened around itself as I froze a few steps from the bottom.

David's eyes rose to meet mine, a look of anger still very present in his eyes. I smiled a little, in spite of myself, and watched his attention turn towards the playroom as he entered it. I immediately sat down, feeling dizzy, and rested my face in my hands. The sound of footsteps approaching me stirred me from my moment of sorrow.

"What's wrong?" An unfamiliar man's voice caused me to drop my hands and look up. The man was significantly taller than me, with spiked black hair and expressive brown eyes. I could tell by the almond shape of his eyes and his tanned skin that he was Asian. I smiled in return, feeling a flutter in my stomach. Despite my state I could recognize that he was attractive. I blushed as I looked down at the stairs once more.

"If you don't want to talk about it that's cool." I felt the brush of the man's shirt against me as he sat on the stair next to me. I looked up and over, observing his face as he watched me. I could only assume that he was one of the big brothers. His face seemed kind enough, and since this whole ordeal was mandatory, I figured I might as well make him feel as though I was interested.

"I had a fight with a friend. It's not that important." I wiped my nose on my arm, becoming immediately repulsed by my action.

"Well that sounds pretty important to me." He smiled, trying to be reassuring.

"Thanks I guess." I muttered, unsure of what to do or how to act.

"Well if you're not in the mood to talk then what can we do?"

I looked over at him once more. His face was genuine, and he truly seemed to have a desire to see my happy. I would welcome an escape from my thoughts, if even for one day. Maybe the whole big brother thing wouldn't be so bad after all.

"Whatever you want to do." I replied in a chipper tone, causing the man to laugh.

"Are you hungry?"

I looked down at my stomach remembering exactly how hungry I was.

"Yeah I missed breakfast 3;" I replied, running my hands over my growling stomach. The man stood to his full height and turned to grin at me.

"Then that settles it! What do you say we go into town and get a bite to eat?"

I looked at him with confusion for a brief moment. With the tight level of control they held over the orphanage, would they actually allow something like this to happen? Since the request was made I was certain it would be alright, but my mind found the idea almost too good to be true. I wasn't about to turn it down however.

"Sure." I said simply, smiled and stood to my full height. I watched as the man began to turn, suddenly stopped midway and turned back towards me. He extended his hand with a kind glance and began to speak.

"I'm Wesley."

"I'm Ben." I extended my hand and shook his. His hand was quite a bit larger than me, engulfing mine with ease.

"Pleased to meet you." Wesley broke our grip and turned for good this time. He walked towards the door and swung it open.

"Coming?" He asked, turning his head ever so slightly.

"Yeah 3; sorry." I blushed and followed him outside. There were several cars parked in the yard surrounding the orphanage so I followed him closely to make sure I was going to the right one. The reality of what this outing meant suddenly dawned on me. For one, I'd be able to eat, but I also would get a better grasp of my surroundings. If I actually chose to run away then I'd need to have at least some handle on where I was going. While I was fairly certain we wouldn't travel far, I could at least get a sense for where in Maine I actually was.

We approached a small blue sedan and Wesley opened the passenger door for me. I smiled, nodding in thanks, and slid into the dark interior of the car. By the time I had managed to slide my seatbelt into place, Wesley swung the driver's side door open and slid in next to me. Within moments he had turned the ignition and we set off down the hill and away from the orphanage.

As we rode in silence my eyes surveyed my surroundings carefully, looking for any sort of landmark that may be of future importance. Unfortunately the road seemed as dull as the forest that surrounded the orphanage. There was little except for pine trees and I didn't see as much as a speed limit sign as we drove. I glanced over towards Wesley for a moment, trying to think of a way to get information out of him without being too obvious. Wesley noticed me looking and smiled, patting my leg gently.

"Do you want to hear some music?"

I shrugged, it wasn't the reaction I was hoping for. Then again he wasn't a mind reader.

"Sure." I said simply. As he turned the dial and an unfamiliar rock song reached my ears, I resigned myself to ignorance. I stared at the window once more, hoping to see something, anything that would give me an indication as to where I was. With each moment my stomach growled more and my resolve began to wane. With a childlike impatience, I finally decided to just ask.

"So where are we going?" Upon hearing me Wesley turned down the radio a little so we could hear each other better.

"Just a small diner in Jackman."

I tried my best to remember if I had ever heard of such a place before but was fairly sure I hadn't. Wherever we were was obviously not in southern Maine. I pressed my thumbs together, a nervous habit that I suddenly remembered from my youth.

"Where is Jackman?" I asked suddenly, seeing how much information I could get. Wesley laughed a little.

"Don't you know where you are?"

I frowned, pressing my thumbs together with more force and staring at the floorboard. I heard Wesley as he cleared his throat.

"Sorry about that, I just assumed you were from around here. We're pretty close to Canada 3; about sixteen miles [26 km] away I suppose."

I nodded, looking at Wesley out of the corner of my eye. He seemed distressed; probably concerned that he had offended me somehow. I just smiled.

"It's okay 3; thanks for telling me."

Wesley smiled back, apparently relaxing at my words. I was delighted when we finally turned onto another road and power lines began to appear. I knew that running away would be incredibly difficult considering we were so far away from civilization, but at least I had a little bit of knowledge now. Within moments I watched as an actual speed limit sign appeared, and a few modest homes sparsely situated at random intervals.

A few additional minutes passed before we pulled into the parking lot of a modest diner. I had to contain myself from laughing, it was almost too picturesque to be real; a brick façade with great windows that had the day's specials displayed through them, several kitschy decorations peering from highly set shelves and even checkered curtains pulled back on either side of the windows. A couple pickup trucks sat beside us and the clientele inside seemed to have an affinity for flannel. I felt like I was stuck in a cheesy movie. Wesley exited the car without another word and I followed, staying close to him. I wasn't sure why but I felt an intense shyness fall over me.

Wesley pushed the door open causing a bell to ring. We were quickly greeted by a short, voluptuous woman wearing a spring green waitress' uniform that looked like it belonged in the seventies. She had violent red hair that sat in a beehive on her head and a pad tucked between her arm and her breast.

"Welcome! Go ahead and take a seat. What can I get you to drink?"

"Oh I'll take a coffee, how about you?" Wesley looked at me. I was unsure of what to say.

"You can have anything you want." He assured, smiling gently. I smiled back, trying to regain some of my confidence.

"Do you have milkshakes?" I asked innocently.

"Sure do, what kind would you like?" She asked, smiling at me in a way that greatly resembled a horse.

"Strawberry!" I chirped, almost immediately becoming embarrassed. Thankfully the waitress seemed amused and laughed.

"I'll get that right away little man!"

I watched as she waddled behind the counter and one of the flannel clad men smiled at me from his perch. I latched onto Wesley's arm only causing him to laugh.

"Burt won't hurt you, will you Burt?"

The man laughed, taking a sip of his coffee. "Not today."

I groaned to myself internally. I couldn't believe how shy I felt. Even the slightest glance from these adults made me feel uneasy and for whatever reason I felt comfortable around Wesley. Thankfully he didn't seem to think my reaction was bizarre, and he led me over to a booth. We both slid in and faced each other. Wesley placed his hand in his shirt pocket and withdrew a cigarette and a lighter.

"Do you mind?"

I shook my head. I had actually smoked many years ago when I was in college. That memory seemed incredibly distant to me now. As Wesley ignited the tip and inhaled deeply, I sunk in my seat and looked around the diner. There were several paintings by local artists, images of trees and who I could only assume were regular visitors. My eyes fell on an image of a young Asian boy and I smiled.

"Is that you?" I asked.

Wesley turned and looked in the direction I was pointing. He turned back around and smiled, nodding in return.

"Yes that was taken awhile ago when I was little. I think that was around the time I was adopted."

My ears perked at his words. I supposed it was a little unusual for an Asian man to be in this region of the country, but I hadn't really given it any thought.

"You were adopted?" I asked.

"Yeah I was ten when they got me. I didn't grow up in your orphanage of course; I was down in New York. My parents died in a car accident when I was very young."

I looked down as I began to feel sorry for him.

"Sorry 3;" I whispered, barely audible.

"Oh please don't worry about it!" He laughed. "I'm very happy to have the family I do. I really love living in Maine."

I smiled a little and tried to regain my confidence. Before I had a chance to say much else the waitress came over and sat a cup of coffee in front of Wesley, and a tall strawberry milkshake in front of me. I grinned happily, examining the whipped cream and cherry on top.

"Thanks so much!" I spoke delightedly. The waitress laughed and ruffled my hair.

"Anytime darling."

I blushed as she took the pad out from beneath her arm and removed a pen from her ear.

"What'll it be boys?"

Wesley thought for a brief moment before responding.

"I'll just have a cheeseburger and some fries. What would you like?"

I looked from him to the waitress for a moment. My eyes settled on her name tag. I almost laughed after reading the name.

"I'll have the same 3; Ms. Dot."

She grinned happily, clicked her pen and placed it behind her ear once more.

"Coming right up!"

As she waddled off once more I slid the milkshake closer to me. I slipped the straw between my lips and sucked hard, letting the sweet cold ooze slip into my mouth. I couldn't help but grin; it had been quite some time since I'd had anything sweet. It had also been quite some time since I had the metabolism to allow it.

"Pretty good huh? I used to get milkshakes here all the time when I was little. I used to get chocolate though."

I smiled and nodded. "I think it's the best I've ever had!"

I wasn't dishonest at all, it absolutely was. Not that my food memory was all that long.

"Maybe next time we come you can try the chocolate?"

I almost frowned but caught myself. I knew the likelihood of my coming back was slim. I had little time with which to decide what I would do. As nice as Wesley was he was very much like David, simply a temporary fixture in my life. There was no point in becoming attached.

"Maybe." I said simply, pressing the straw into my mouth once more and continuing my attack on the cold substance. Wesley opened a packet of sugar, dumping the contents into his cup. After stirring it he allowed it to rise and meet his lips. After taking a sip he smiled, letting it lower back to the table.

"That's good."

I smirked a little. I had never been a big fan of coffee.

"I think coffee is gross." I said, giggling a little.

"Well this is the best coffee in the world, hands down! Do you want to try it?" He offered me the cup and I politely declined. I knew that if I didn't like it as an adult, I certainly wouldn't like it now.

"How do you like living at the orphanage?"

"It's okay I guess 3; I haven't been there for very long. I have a really good friend though." I smiled as thoughts of Peter entered my mind once more.

"Well that's good. I had a good friend when I lived in my orphanage as well. It really hurt when I had to leave him behind."

I nodded, suddenly remembering my situation with David. It wasn't that I wanted to think about it but the way he mourned his past friend reminded me of him.

"Yeah 3;"

"So is this good friend the one you are fighting with?"

I fought for a moment to regain my bearings and determine what he was asking. I suddenly remembered him asking what was wrong on the stair at the orphanage. My mind was forced to remain on David at least for the time being.

"No it's another friend." I said simply. My fingers grabbed the straw and moved it up and down, mixing the milkshake but also trying to distract me from my thoughts.

"Do you want to talk about it some more or do you want to leave that door closed?"

I looked up at Wesley for a minute. I thought it awfully forward for him to assume my trust this quickly. Maybe it was to be expected, nine year olds weren't exactly the most jaded people in the world. There was no way I could explain to him the full breadth of my predicament even if I wanted to. Even so, I didn't want him to think I was mentally deranged. What if he reported what was going on to Bessie? There was no sense in drawing any unneeded attention.

"I have a friend named David that I used to play with. We had open house yesterday where people could come and see if they wanted to adopt anyone. He met this one family that was like perfect for him. He even has a twin and they couldn't stop talking. I just know he's going to be gone soon and it sucks 3;" I stuck the straw in my mouth once more and took another sip. I was going to drown my sorrows in sugar.

"I see." Wesley replied. His face seemed contemplative as he fought for some reassuring words to provide me with.

"It really is sad to have to see your friends leave, but one day that's going to be you. I know that you must want to have a Mom and Dad."

I sighed. I honestly couldn't deny what he said. When I saw David and Jack with those two I pined for what he had. I wished deeply that I could be adopted and have a chance at a normal childhood. I knew that it was all a result of my regression that I couldn't help my feelings, but I also knew the reality of my situation. There was no way that I could ever be adopted. Any chance at a normal childhood was gone. I wasn't, after all, a normal child.

"Yeah I do." I said. There was no sense in arguing or drawing more attention to my predicament than was necessary. Wesley was trying his best with the information that he had.

"Try to be happy for him. He may be gone but you have your other friend to play with."

I nodded. Certainly my thoughts of David would fade with time. I was happy to have Peter and I looked forward to seeing where the relationship went. Before I had a chance to think anymore, Dot arrived with our plates and deposited them. Apparently an expert, she deposited a bottle of ketchup before either of us could ask.

"Do you boys need anything else?"

Wesley and I shook our heads in unison. She smiled and walked away, leaving us alone once more. My hands pried the greasy burger from the plate and shoved it into my mouth hungrily. I was delighted to see that the food was as good as the milkshake. Wesley laughed, depositing some ketchup on his fries.

"Well at least this place has another fan now."

I blushed, embarrassed at how rude I had been. I placed the burger down and chewed slower. I always heard that the best sign that food was good was silence, and that seemed to be the case. As we each ate our burgers and fries, neither of us said a word. Wesley occasionally smiled at me, and I kept myself in continuous check. I wasn't going to embarrass myself again regardless of how hungry I was.

When we finally finished and Wesley paid the bill, we headed back outside and climbed back into his car. As we started heading back down the road Wesley turned the music off completely.

"Is there anything else you'd like to do?"

I thought for a brief moment on his offer. I wasn't entirely sure what there was to do in the middle of nowhere, but I also didn't want to take advantage of Wesley's generosity too much. He had already bought me lunch after all and his kindness was something I had no way of returning. I shook my head and looked out the window as the small town became a distant memory. Wesley hummed happily, turning the music back up, and the sound carried me as the pine trees became denser once more.

As the car turned back onto the road that I knew would lead towards the orphanage, I began to feel a tinge of regret in the pit of my stomach. I wasn't ready to go back to my prison, but I also wanted to see Peter. I was certain that he was probably out with his big brother but I was hopeful just the same. The child in me wanted to be free, to see everything there was to see with Wesley by my side. The adult in me wanted to go back so I could spend more time with Peter. I settled on the adult side, since I had already made my decision clear moments before.

When we finally drew closer to the orphanage and I could see the outline in the distance, I drew my knees to my chest and hugged my legs to me. I was full, of both food and energy, and was regretting my choice to return so soon even more. Wesley rested his hand on my knee and smiled.

"Not ready to go back?"

I momentarily thought about saying no, about pleading with him to take me as far away as he could. I knew that it wasn't fair to him and I certainly didn't want to be a burden.

"I'm okay." I said simply.

"Very well." Wesley smiled again as we finally cleared the hill and pulled up behind the other cars surrounding the orphanage. A few had departed, but a great number still remained. As I turned to open the door and excuse myself, Wesley suddenly reached inside of his pocket and I could hear paper as he wrestled to get to something. I allowed my arm to fall as I turned to watch him. He pulled an old receipt out and ripped off a part of it, extracting a pen from his glove compartment and began to write something down that I couldn't see.

"I'm going to give you my number in case you ever need anything. Don't hesitate to call anytime, I mean it." When he finished he shoved the piece of paper in my hand and smiled.

"I hope you had fun today."

I nodded, feeling the piece of paper inside my hand.

"Thanks for everything."

He nodded as I reached over and opened the door. I slid out and stood, shutting it behind me. I stood there silently for a moment, watching as he turned around and headed back towards the road. He waved a little before he drove completely out of sight and I returned it, forcing a cheeky grin onto my face. As I felt the piece of paper press against my wet palm I almost felt bad for the guy. He genuinely wanted to help, but I knew that his offer was pointless. I shoved the paper into my pocket where I assumed it would remain forever.

Chapter Twenty Four

With nothing else to occupy my mind I slipped into the electronics room which was thankfully empty. I plopped down on the sofa, grabbed the remote, and began searching for something to occupy my time. I was immediately driven to boredom by the onslaught of nothingness, and I knew that time was going to pass even more slowly than it usually did. I finally settled on a nature show and escaped to my thoughts, day dreaming about the things I would be doing with Peter.

My initial thoughts were merely about conversations that could be had and questions that could be answered. I even childishly thought about games that we could play together. After awhile my thoughts made a darker turn, as the thought of our training occurred to me. I began to blush, trying to imagine what all it would involve. I wasn't sure if Peter knew about his new found responsibility or not, if he did he gave no indication of it earlier.

I fiddled nervously with the hem of my shirt, suddenly regretting that I had requested him. It wasn't that I would have rather been trained by James; I merely feared that he would think less of me for it. I thought of our relationship as something more than carnal, although the idea did appeal to me a little. If the small incident with David was as amazing as it was, how much more amazing could an encounter with a boy with an adult's mind be?

I once more felt embarrassed about my thoughts. Who was to say that we would do anything physical at all? Maybe the whole training process was simply verbal. Maybe there was nothing to worry about. The only thing that would calm my mind would be time, and I just hoped sincerely that he wouldn't think less of me for my request. When the smell of food managed to waft into the electronics room I became aware of the hour for the first time. The nature show I had settled on had been off for quite some time and the confines of my mind and my solitude had made the time pass rather quickly.

I stood, brushing the wrinkles out of my pants, and walked into the entranceway. From what I could see the adults were gone, and the majority of the boys had begun making their way into the dining room. I walked over, half expecting to see Peter, but was sadly left disappointed. My eyes cast over towards my old seat momentarily and I was immediately shocked by what I saw. David was waving excitedly, his formerly angry face replaced by one of glee. For a moment I thought that it might be a trick, but decided that he was too young to think in such a way. I managed a weak smile and waved in return.

"Come sit with us!" I heard his voice chime. This was definitely no trick, the happy David that I once knew had returned to me. I looked around me for a moment hoping that Peter would appear but I felt fairly certain that he wasn't going to show. I walked around the table, pulled my old chair out and sat next to David. If Peter ever caught wind of this he would be angry, but it was my life after all.

"Hey." I said simply, smiling as David hopped excitedly next to me.

"Did you have fun with your big brother?" He asked curiously. I nodded, managing a genuine smile for the first time. I wasn't sure what made his mind clear so quickly, but I was grateful. If nothing else we could have a friendly disposition towards each other until either he or I left, whichever came first.

"Me too! We went into the woods and played hide and seek for awhile. Then we came back and Jack's big brother already left so we played a game together that he could play even though he can't walk right." David giggled excitedly. His mind and mouth seemed to be working a million miles a minute. I thought momentarily about asking why he was talking to me once more, but decided to accept it as a miracle.

Bessie walked out of the dining room with food in hand. I was still largely full from my lunch, but I decided to go ahead and eat a little something so that I didn't worry anyone. As soon as everything was sat down and Bessie took her place, I shoveled a small helping of pasta onto my plate and half a breadstick. I watched in amusement as both David and Jack took way too much of everything as usual. As I raised the breadstick to my mouth and took a small bite, David began to speak once more.

"I forgot to tell you about Michael and Melinda!"

At the words I began to feel my stomach tighten. I managed to chew and swallow what was in my mouth, and simply sat the breadstick down. My face did little to hide the fact that I didn't want to hear it, but David seemed completely oblivious.

"I think I told you that they have a farm right? Well guess what they have on the farm? Horses! They also said they have a cow name Lulu and some chickens too, but I really want to ride horses! They even said Jack could ride them once his leg got better." He giggled, moving his hands expressively and shoving small bites of his food in his mouth between sentences. I felt an intense desire to run away, to simply escape, but there was no way that I could. It was my duty to draw no attention to myself.

"Oh and you know how Michael is a pilot? Well he has his own airplane too! He said that when I'm old enough I can learn how to fly it too! Jack doesn't really want to fly but I do. Oh and did you know that they have a swimming pool? I think that is so cool! And, and 3;" David stopped momentarily to catch his breath as he shoved another bite of his food into his mouth. The feeling of remorse and jealousy that once held me was turning into anger. It wasn't just a passive anger, but a seething dark anger that seemed to fill every ounce of my being. As much as I fought against it, I knew that it was useless.

"They don't have any kids because they are so busy but they said they wanted to dopted us! They said that we look like we are supposed to be their kids already!" He laughed, slapping his forehead in an over dramatic manner. I gritted my teeth, pushing my plate away.

"Stop it 3;" I whispered. It wasn't so quiet that David couldn't hear, but just audible enough so that he was the only one. Apparently either David had chosen to ignore it, or he didn't care.

"I think it's kind of cool. I mean I think having red hair makes me look stupid, but it's REALLY pretty on Melinda! Don't you think so? Oh and Jack told her she was pretty and she said he was handsome! Jack got so red!"

As much as I knew that I needed to control myself, it was impossible. The feelings of anger and hatred that filled my being were too powerful. They were carnal, the very base of everything that was wrong with mankind. Being a child made it impossible to overcome, and within moments my body seemed to take over its own movements. I flew upwards, my chair collapsing behind me. My fists balled tightly and rose into the air, coming down quickly and slamming against the table.

"I said stop it! I don't want to hear about your stupid A-DOPTION!" I put an emphasis on the 'a', a pronunciation that I once found adorable but now found infuriating. I stormed from the table, stomping all the way towards the entrance and prepared to walk up the stairs. I could feel every eye in the room on me as I did so, but I refused to look back. I could hear the distant sounds of David sniffling in reaction to my outrage. It was shortly followed by the sound of another chair scooting back as much heavier footsteps followed behind me.

"You stop right there young man! You need to go back in there right now and apologize!" The voice of Bessie was stern and loud, causing my body to shake as fear intermingled with my anger. I turned on my heel, finding it impossible to stop myself.

"I don't have to do anything! All he wants to do is talk about his STUPID Michael and Melinda! I'm sick of it! I'm sick of you! I'm sick of this whole damned place!" As the word 'damned' escaped my lips I knew at once that it was a mistake; Bessie, the kind yet stern woman that I so admired, immediately raised her arm and planted her hand firmly on my cheek. I was immediately shaken from my rage, and tears began to flow freely down my cheeks as I wailed in response.

"You go up to your bedroom right now! You are not to make a peep and I don't want to see you again until you can apologize and be a good boy!"

My feet flew surely as I rounded the banister, up the flights of stairs and into my room. I slammed the door behind me and fell on my bed, unable to stop my wailing. I grabbed my pillow, hugged it close to my chest, and wanted so badly to die. I was disappointed; disappointed in how I treated David, disappointed in how I treated Bessie, disappointed in my inability to control myself and most of all disappointed that I had broken my promise to myself.

I knew that my life was out of my control, but I figured that I could at least stop crying. At that moment, with tears flowing at an impossible pace, I knew that even that part of my life was out of my control. I was a slave to my childish emotions, and the jealousy that I had felt had fueled an anger that was greater than I could control. David didn't deserve to be treated that way; my mind knew that he should be happy. Bessie certainly didn't deserve to be treated that way; she was such a kind and compassionate woman. How could I ever expect to be able to survive on my own? I couldn't even handle something as simple as having a civil dinner.

Peter knew exactly what he was talking about when he warned me to not talk to David anymore. I silently wondered if he had experienced something similar himself. David, the very thought of him was almost comforting. As my tears began to steadily slow and my wails turned into soft sobs, the thought of seeing him once more became a comfort. I wiped my wet cheeks on my pillow and curled into a ball around it. Within a short while the stress of the day overwhelmed me and my eyes began to grow heavy. As soon as I allowed them to close, I fell away into a deep slumber.

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