Feeling so shattered, broken, wonderfully cracked and… I don’t know where I am, but in a chair across from me a woman with orange wild hair spilling down her head and around her form is sitting in the chair backwards and leaning against what’s pressed in front of her. She watches me, and light glittering off of the wooden cracks of the chair. “Morning.” Those red, dark red lips speak, but the words seem like they have no sound, just meaning. “Welcome to the fun room.”
My body shakes as I shiver. I bite down on my silvery lip, watching her with worried eyes. I’m so confused, so afraid, so… “The fun room…? Why is it fun…?” I look over her hair, over the chair, over the woman in front of me… My brain is moving so terrifyingly slow.
“It’s where we reprogram useful subjects. You’re the only one to need to be here twice…” The orange hared woman examines her oddly unpainted nails. Her eyes watch them so closely, looking at them before looking back up to me. She’s wearing those same clothes as before, but they’re hard to focus on compared to her overly attractive face.
I just watch her, whimpering. Maybe if I stall her I’ll feel a little bit more stable and I’ll be able to think a little bit better to be able to do something. “I’ll need three times, maybe. Maybe four. Maybe five. Maybe, maybe, maybe I’m just stubborn.” I’m not sure where this is coming from, but at least some of my brain is still working. That woman is beautiful, but this is so confusing, so very confusing. I wish I just knew what was going on! “Why…?”
“Don’t know why you went back. Very naughty. No, no, no. None of that. Don’t you like it here? You were nuzzling my leg and licking salt up off the ground last time. Begging for things…” Her voice makes my mind feel like it’s being squeezed and twisted in a way that is becoming frighteningly familiar.
Groaning I reach up and put my hand to either side of my head, holding tight and lightly stroking with the very tips of my fingertips. “Goddess, please, don’t, my head, I’ll… Let me keep my mind, please, please, please!” I whine out sharply as I can at the pain of my mind being moved so cruelly, damaged so brutally. Why can’t she just leave my mind alone?! Whatever she wants, she can get with my mind being whole, she can just do something to it, change it, but… Not destroy it!!! Wasted effort! It’s not as if I seem to resist these things especially well anyway!
“Chitter, chatter…” Every little movement of her lips just feels like more bits of my mind are flaking away as if my brain were just dandruff, fluttering off and being destroyed in the vast abyss that seems to surround my mind inside of my head. “Always chitter chatter. Do you remember last time?” Flashes of shattered images cut into the remaining shards of my mind which feel real as life itself. Images of me screaming in pain and ecstasy, pinned under the other woman’s heeled foot, I was bound… Other times I was hanging, and more… They seem to build up higher and higher with each little image, and each time I’m enjoying them more and more, till I’m rolling on the ground, begging her to do something, I don’t know… “Shards of your mind littered this room, broken and flung about with no care.”
I moan. I can’t help it. I also can’t help falling back against the chair and watching her, those eyes, those lips, that face… I’m just So confused, so afraid, so unsure what I’m supposed to do… “Remember… Bits and pieces… I… don’t know what I’m supposed to do…” The images fill me with at least something in my mind, and something is better than nothing, even if it’s in a limited way and everything is drifting so far from me.
“And you left… You ran away… You crawled away like a worm.” She almost spits out the words literally, in a way that hurts. “Wasn’t good enough for you? Didn’t break you hard enough? I thought I turned every synapse into dust, every memory into shards and you leave? What did she give you? Warmth? Comfort?” She angrily growls, very frustrated and her heels both hit the floor at the same time as she stands, and they sound loud, feel sharp, and taste so painfully sweet. “I gave you more than you’d ever had…” More of those memories, like overflowing bliss they cut into me like an orgasmic knife. “I want you… to apologize.”
I scream, weak at first before louder, tears flowing down my face as she speaks, all of those questions… I stare in awe at her, my body shuddering and shaking involuntarily as she moves. I can feel that bliss from those memories and her stepping as I try to ignore it or filter it all out. Why do I feel bad about crawling away?! She broke my mind! “She… I signed myself away to Her… Wasn’t my choice… Don’t really remember…” I nod weakly and whimper. I’m… I’m sorry…”
She clicks her way over to me and those shattering clicks feel almost like they’re resonating right out from those deliciously swaying hips. Her hips are even more pretty than her face, or maybe not… It’s so hard to tell. It’s hard to even tell what colors her eyes are with everything else going on. It’s hard to remember all of the colors. Everything is just so confusing. A finger presses against my forehead and lightly tips it back. “I don’t believe you.” She pauses. “Pain.” It feels like nothing, my body freezing up, burning, burning so bad, oh goddess it hurts like being shoved into a volcano! “But I can give you so much more.” She pauses again. “Rapture.” The same fire turns bright white, a thousand exploding stars in my mind and body, splitting me with pure pleasure. “And I can give you even more than that…” Explosions fill me, making my body a quivering mess of pleasure, and her finger slowly pulls back. Like a circuit broken it just all stops. “No one ever leaves, no one has ever wanted to leave. Not in over five thousand years.”
Each little click makes me let out a little moan as I keep looking to her face, to her hips, to her hand… Oh. That pain, that pleasure… My throat is sore with moaning, with screaming, with explosions. I slump forward, staring at her, trying to gasp for breath as I look up at her so desperate. “So… Mean… can’t give affection…”
“Up.” She motions with her finger, and then shakes it under my chin, yanking me up to my feet in a way that makes me gasp. I press forward as she pulls me up. I can see her eyes now, I have to, though they don’t seem to be a color. They’re just deep, deeper than anything, and I stare into them helplessly. I wish I could just fall into them and be so far from here in what limited ways I can still wish for anything. “Affection? You are not a person anymore, and it’s time you realized that.”
She pulls me closer, with those red lips, blood red lips looking like they might kiss mine, and for some reason that terrifies me. “Because you are not even a tool, or a pet, but a broken toy that doesn’t work right. Should I really spend the time to fix you, or just toss you in the trash?”
“Broken… Doesn’t… work…” I stare at her, at those lips, and just sob in a weak, pitiful way. I’m only half here, but whatever is here can still manage tears. It feels like the other half of me can’t be bothered to come out of whatever hole it’s curled up in so deep to die in before it can possibly be found and pulled out to be shined under a spotlight. A part of me wants to scream at her, to yell, but I’m feeling much to weak. I just don’t want to die, to be thrown away, but where there’s life there’s hope. I don’t want to be broken! “Don’t toss, please… Please!”
She lets me go, and let’s me just sink into the ground. “Beg. I like it when you beg. Not everyone, just you. Quivering on the floor… Oh, I don’t know…” She starts to click around me again, and her heels ring so deep in my mind. Her hand has something in it, a metal rod. It’s about the length of a person’s head. “Know what this is? It’s… Oh well I’ll show you… After you beg. Let’s just say it’ll fix the little problem we have here.”
“Sounds…” I slump, sinking into the ground and nuzzling against it for a moment. I almost kiss it. That sweet floor, not hurting my head, just staying flat, constant, and normal underneath me. Even that rod sounds sweet. It’ll fix me, make it so she doesn’t toss me away I hope. I turn to look up towards those heels before I whimper. My voice feels and sounds so small in such a timid way. “Please, please, oh please just fix it all… Please… Oh I don’t… Don’t even know what to beg for… Just please, anything, just don’t… Don’t leave me broken… Please don’t throw me away!”
Up, she yanks me up again, forcing my head to the side and she pushes the cold rod against my ear, and then slides in. Slowly it slides inside of my head in such a complete and dramatic way. “It’s called a rod of obedience.” Farther than it should be able to go, it just keeps moving in. There’s no pain, it’s just so cold, sliding in, not feeling, my mind feeling… So… “And we won’t have any more trouble with you now.” Cold, freezing… Yet it feels so… Obedience, it is… That’s what it is, perfect, rigid, only one choice, only one answer to every question, one right, divine, perfect answer.
“Only for the most stubborn of toys.” Obedience, the rod is ice as it slides into the shattered remains of my brain. Fire, it’s like fire melting it, boiling my mind just right. Steel, rigid, unchanging demanding, right between my ears I can even see what’s engraved on it. “Obey.” The only word left in my head that means anything. It’s everything, slid so deep… She pushes it deeper, until all of the rod is so deeply inside, and then I drop to the floor, boneless. “Now doesn’t that feel better?” She laughs, just like before, when the recording shattered me to pieces. Obedience. Obey.
I shudder, shivering, nodding, staring. Staring. Nearly mindless. Thoughts all focused on her. Focused on obeying. Everything is moving so slow. “Obey… Yes…” I can feel it, it’s so complete, so perfect, so… All it is, only one thing… It’s at the same time everything I ever wanted, everything I ever feared, but the last part doesn’t matter anymore. I don’t matter anymore. My brain is so whole again, all wrapped around that one word, everything just what that rod is engraving into my mind, only that, only her, only obedience, no free will, no real mind, no desire for one, no fleeting urge to escape… Just her. Obey. That laugh. Mmm… Obey.
“Much better. Say it again, back straight, chest out, eyes… Empty…” She chuckles, watching me. “Like you really mean it.”
I make my back straight, jutting my chest out as I rise up. It’s not like I need to try to make my eyes look empty, but I try it anyway before saying it again, with a cheery edge to it, a firm edge to it. “Obey! Yes!”
“Louder. Feel how it feels, feel how that word feels better than everything you thought felt good in your life, explosions of… Mmm… Just do it…” That smile coating her perfect pair of lips grows. Her hands rests on her hips and I stare up at her worshipfully. The one I obey, the one who owns me, the one who fixed me, the one who made everything perfect!
I smile dreamily as I can feel that word sinking deeper and deeper into my mind, more and more around my brain, ironing every other little imperfection out, replacing all of my old favorite things from my silly thoughts and I let it out in a loud squeal. “Obey!!! Yes!!!”
“That’s so much better.” She reaches out and pets me. Instantly without thought I nuzzle back against her hand. “We’re going to have… a lot… Of fun… Pose. Something nice. Show yourself off. Try it the other way… Maybe I’ll make you dance later… Mmm…” She keeps giving me command after command, all so surprisingly tame, though with that rod in my head, I know that I would do anything. I would do absolutely anything and nothing but the command would matter.
Each little command she does give, I do obey mindlessly, or rather mindfully, with my new rod of a mind. Obey, obey, if I could talk out of turn I would just say obey. I stand, posing, arching out, then posing again, watching her and waiting for more orders. There’s nothing else, just the rod, and my wonderful owner.
“And you don’t care about your stupid warmth and attention now do you?” Her voice is so spiteful, but it’s not as if it bothers me. “Answer.”
“No.” I respond in a very dull, simple little voice. So much of me is just gone, but it feels more like I’m just too filled to be that woman I used to be anyway. I’m wrapped so helplessly around that rod, not a thing I can do, though there’s nothing else I want to do, but obey.
“And what are you, what do you do, what do you think… And what defines you?” She laughs as she speaks, her head tilting back as she laughs in that fiendish way I used to hate.
“Obey…” I whisper it out, weakly. My limited mind is too overloaded by all of that questioning, too much, and not enough of a mind to think with, what did this woman want, she just… But the thoughts aren’t that solid. The only thought that is solid is to obey. The faint background noise is more like annoying music than anything of value.
“And that… Makes you happier than anything else in your life.” She taps my forehead a few times, and I can almost feel the rod spin, wrapping my helpless mind around it tighter and tighter.
My body shudders, so very much at those taps and at the twisting of that rod in my head. I smile brightly , the kind of smile that could light up several rooms and still have enough to compete with the sun. Oh if only I could glow that brightly, all silvery and shiny for my owner!
“That’s right, and what do we do?” Her voice sounds like the voice of an elementary school teacher talking to a second grader, and pretty as always.
“Obey!” my voice is bright and cheery again. There’s nothing beyond that perfect happiness. I’ve never felt so happy, getting to obey. Obeying is the best thing ever ever ever ever!
“And don’t you forget it. Not like last time.” She laughs, grinning. “Now pose again, down on the ground, back arched, and wait. I have others to deal with.” She stretches a faint little bit before walking over to the only door in the room and leaving without another word.
I lower down onto the ground, arching my back as I do, and just smile. I’ll never forget. I’ll obey. I remember just how good, how happy I feel to obey. I just stare, stare at nothing, arched, posed on the ground, it feels so good to be ready to obey any order at a moment’s notice when she comes back. If she doesn’t, I’ll just obey for eternity here on the floor. That’ll be just fine by me. Obey. Obey. Obey….