Alone, sick, crying a little, and over and through it all, empty. But I couldn't think about myself right then. It was always like this between visits, and I should have expected the utter loneliness and despair - it had been six days since I had heard Mary's voice, after all.

She didn't usually wait that long, not when I'd been a good boy and had done what was required, like I always did. Always, anything for Her.

Just the promise of hearing Her voice convinced me to leave my family, my job - my life - behind. And, the promise of time - an hour of Her precious time, nothing more - was apparently enough to make me...

'Don't think about it. My Goddess has the ideas, and my Mistress tells me what to do to make those ideas reality,' I reminded myself as I watched the storm through my window.

If I ever had any doubts of my place in this strange underworld, the wallpaper in my room was there to remind me: "Mother, Goddess; Sister, Mistress; Me, slave." Over and over again the walls told the only biography I needed.

I read them by candlelight, like I did every time my tiny mind wandered, to remind myself of what I had become. Before, I was like anyone else - just a face in the crowd. I had a house, wife, children, cars, a day job, friends - but She showed me how empty it all was.

It only took Sister Mary a few minutes to open my eyes. Chanting my wallpaper's mantra, I recalled the day I first met... Her. Her voice melted my will like a hot iron melts acid-core solder, and the fullness I had felt my whole life suddenly was revealed to me as corruption - corruption she could wash away.

I cried that day, for the first time in many years - men didn't cry, I'd been told - as I realized that everything I had wanted was corrupt; a mildewed, smoldering pile of lie upon lie, so thick that I could hardly breathe the stench of it. I knew I had to abandon what I had made and then rebuild - but I was such a bad judge of what was good for me.

Mary was a better judge. Within a week, she had gently guided me to more happiness than I could have ever known - leaving my wife who was probably cheating on me, quitting my job that was probably destroying the environment - and with each step away from my old path, I felt better, happier, and almost blissful.

But I was still empty.

On the second week, I had progressed as far as I could have gone without taking the final step, the step that made the most sense and the step that would finally fill the emptiness I was feeling. I figured that She had made me happy when I was not, and the only thing missing from my life was Her - but I couldn't have her. So, I gave myself to her.

I knelt.

Still waiting for my next fix, and beginning to shake, I remembered the thrill, the sheer euphoria I felt as I knelt at her feet that evening in her chamber. She caressed my head as I laid it on her lap, each gentle stroke of her hand brushing away the last remnants of everything I had ever been or wanted to be. I felt myself sink into her on every imaginable level, the last fears and doubts vanishing as I realized that She would take care of me. Those were her fears and doubts now. She would handle them; I didn't need them. They were Hers - just like I was.

And since then, I'd never worried about much of anything, outside of when I would be called upon to serve, and when - if - I would be rewarded for a job well done. Performing my last task would have never been possible before I met Her - and now, the buzz of pleasure I got from obeying her latest order had completely worn off.

'If Mother Angelica doesn't give me something to do soon, or at least Mary to ease my pain, I might just...' I thought as I heard a knock at my door. I already knew who it was.

Sister Mary was here; my Mistress in nun's clothing was to wash my sins away. Scrambling to the door, I threw it open and backed up, quickly falling to my knees as Mary, my Goddess's intermediary, entered my abode. Just her presence was making me feel better. But, I was waiting for that voice... a voice belonging to the Mistress to whom I had been given once I was ready to play my part in Mother Angelica's revolution.

"You have done well. Mother is pleased, slave," she said, stroking my hair. Instantly, my shaking stopped - her touch was like a drug, and I was hopelessly addicted. Her kind words washed away my insecurities and the tiny kernels of fear that had appeared out of nowhere. She took a seat on my chair, and I laid my head on her thighs, like I had done for Angelica so many weeks ago - too many to count, even if I were allowed to remember.

"When you please Mother, you please Me," she gently soothed, and it was nearly like a song - no, a hymn. I felt the first twinges of arousal strain against my pants as all negative thoughts were completely driven away by her sweet voice. I had done well - I had pleased my Goddess, who I had met only once, and my Mistress, whose pleasure was my raison d'être.

Underneath her disguise, I knew that Mary was naked. She knew how much I would need her tonight, after such along absence. Mary stood, and I looked at the floor near my bed while she took off her habit.

"Disrobe, and lie on the bed, slave nikki."

As I heard the words I had hoped against hope She'd utter, my body sprang into action. Already, I had no shirt on. I took off my pants and underwear as fast as I could, kicked off my socks, and took my position on the bed. I looked over to Her, and saw Her beautiful, naked form. She was visibly as excited as I was, which made sense; we served the same One.

But the only thing I was concerned about at the moment was Her need, which was glistening in the candlelight as she made her way to the bed.

It was hard to keep my eyes open as Mary straddled me, the glee of just being this close to her nearly making me faint, but she beckoned me with her voice and I stared deep into her eyes, obeying the understood command. If it were possible, my cock would have gotten even harder for her as she slowly lowered herself on it.

As I felt myself being surrounded by the searing heat within Her, She moaned, "Don't cum until I tell you." There was, of course, no question about it - I already knew that I would be hard for her for as long as she wanted me to be, and that my release was secondary to Hers.

She started sliding up and down my pole, and gradually picked up speed. At another command, I was using my thumb (after she licked it - and that alone was a sensation that would make any uninitiated man climax where he stood) to slowly rub Her clit as She ground into my hips.

Her motions became more frantic as I found my rhythm, and after only a few minutes, She shook above me as she came. She leaned down and kissed my lips as She sank down from the orgasmic wave I'd been allowed to help Her reach.

'She tastes like... life,' I realized as I enjoyed the kiss. It was almost like her hungry kiss was actually feeding me, and when we were united like this, I completely lost myself and just felt the pure bliss of surrender. My body was nothing more than a tool for Her use.

The sensation somehow got stronger, though, when I felt Her hips begin to move again. I was still hard, and I knew that She wasn't done with me yet. Five more times she came, and five more times she kissed me before starting again.

The seventh round, though, was different - I could feel it, I could see it in her eyes, and I could almost hear Her telling me so, but Her mouth wasn't moving. As I enjoyed the familiar sensation of hearing Her words spoken directly into my brain, I started to realize that she was moving much faster this time, grinding into me with a passion that I hadn't felt in a long time.

Up and down Her hips went, slamming into me with enough force to make her grunt with each impact. Finally, her motions became almost uncontrolled convulsions and she screamed, "Cum with me, slave!"

The sounds we made as we came together were indescribable - Her body thrashed around as my seed filled Her - and after a few moments, She was done. She leaned forward one last time, kissing me with more force than before, and we relaxed for a long time afterward - resting in Her arms, I knew once again that nothing beyond Mary's happiness mattered.

I had made my Mistress happy; I had pleased her. I was floating on clouds of pure pleasure, out of my mind with joy, when she got up. I didn't notice her dressing, kissing me goodbye, or leaving. I'm still not sure if that kiss ever happened, but the lingering burning feeling on my lips makes me believe that it did.

When I woke up the next day, I felt refreshed - pure. She had washed away my doubts, my regrets, and my fears - my sins - just like she always did. I had gotten my fix, and if I was lucky, I would be used again and again - and maybe, just maybe, I might get to see Angelica again.

I would do anything for that. Anything.

As I got some breakfast, I stared at the phone, wondering how long it would be before She would call me again - before She had a use for me again. Hopefully, it would not be long.

Smiling, I realized it would be as She willed it, and that was good enough. She provided for me; gave me food, shelter, and purpose. I only had to bring patience and obedience to the equation. Everything else was in Her hands - just like I was.