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Message-ID: <62142asstr$1335712207@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
From: Ryan McNamara <backdoordistortion@gmail.com>
Subject: {ASSM} The Fantasy
Lines: 121
Date: Sun, 29 Apr 2012 11:10:07 -0400
Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail
Approved: <assm@asstr-mirror.org>
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories
Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d


I have written a number of stories for ASSTR before and I hope you do go
ahead and read some of them, but this story is a true fantasy. It's what I
masturbate to when I need to cum. And it's also a dating profile. Like all
my stories it tends to be more descriptive and summary like, almost
non-fiction. Perverted beliefs and fantasies. This one is rather
unconventional as it's basically a personal ad. If you're a black man in
the NYC area and find my fantasies interesting, please contact me and we
can work something out.


 One of my fantasies is to give out my information (name, address, work
routine) to a random black man and tell him he can rape me and that there
will be no safe word and although I don't plan on going to the police, he
should probably still wear a mask as every time I have come close to an
encounter with a black man, I have legitimately chickened out. See, it's
hard to believe, but I'm actually straight, just perverted and into
humiliation and degradation. Black men are scary and seem dangerous to me,
so I want to be used by them, made their bitch.


 When I'm horny I honestly and truly believe that gay black-on-white rape
should be legal, at any age. I wish, truly and honestly, that I had been
raped at some point in my life, especially during middle school or early
high school. That I've never been raped is one of my biggest regrets and
I'm too old to be molested now, which is unfortunate. It's probably because
I hate myself that I want these things.


 I tasted my own cum once out of curiosity after having seen tons of women
swallow cum on the internet and it was the most vile thing ever. I gagged
and threw up and for some reason that was the beginning of my fantasies
about swallowing cum. It's because it's so disgusting and sticks in your
throat that I want to be MADE to swallow it.


 Taking it up the ass is easy for me. I fuck myself in the ass with some of
the toys I have and then cum and immediately feel a deep sense of regret
and dirtiness. Later I recall these feelings of regret and dirtiness and
imagine young white boys being fucked and feeling the same thing and it
makes me cum, hard. And of course I feel awful about that, but that I'm
about to hate what I'm doing in just a second is only motivation for me to
do it more. I force myself to watch gay porn even though I'm not gay, just
so I can feel disgusted and dirty with myself.


 I'd like to prolong my perversion by being placed in a chastity device and
only be allowed to cum about once every two weeks. I want all of my orgasms
to be unpleasant and to just be horny all the time. If it were possible,
I'd donate myself to be a prison bitch for weeks with no safe word to get
me out of it as I inevitably would come to regret my decision and
legitimately struggle to escape and be legitimately raped and then I'd
probably cum to what it felt like to be raped by dirty, ghetto-trash
niggers who have bigger dicks than me and are violent and dangerous and
they use me like an old gym sock.


 The idea of raping white boys, especially at a young age at totally
degrading and humiliating them to the point where they'd probably grow up
to be serial killers turns me on intensely. I masturbate to what it must
feel like to be twelve and have a nine inch dick in your ass for the first
time and feel his balls slap against yours. I fantasize about being forced
to fuck older, obese coal-black nigger gangsters just because it would be
so disgusting for me to do so. I imagine licking toilet bowls with black
piss and pubes encrusted on it while I get fucked up the ass and then have
to clean the rest of the apartment.


 I'm lazy and I love drugs. If there were a way that I could live my life
sucking black dick and taking black dick in the ass and get drugs for it
(I'm particularly interested in dissociative and psychedelics if there are
any drug dealers reading this), I totally would. I'd like to be told when I
can use the bathroom, who I can be friends with, what to wear and of course
be made to cook and clean the apartment and be engaged in other degrading
house-wife activities.


 It's too vile for me to imagine doing myself for any sexual pleasure, but
I imagine 16-year old, straight, white kids being kidnapped by a demented
black man and being forced to drink a bowl which consists of a mixture of
dog food, black piss, black cum and dog and horse cum. They'd of course
have to eat this near the toilet as I'm sure they'd throw up every drop and
when they were finished and woozy from all the vomiting, you could fuck
them in the ass while you donkey punched them repeatedly in the back of
their head to keep their assholes tight.


 I even imagine at some point either I or these white kids I like to
imagine, being fisted daily or more in the ass for 30-60 minutes until they
had to wear diapers for the rest of their lives. At that point, of course,
you'd probably throw them out on the street for not being fuckable any more
and you might as well throw them out naked so they might get arrested and
go to prison for the crime of being a worthless white bitch.


 The point of all of this, of course, is that I don't really want it. I
want to do something I don't want. It's a hard concept for even me to get
my head around. I also get off on the idea of not being allowed to get off
and I fall asleep every time I try to stay awake and stay awake if I try to
go to sleep too hard. In order for this to happen, you'd have to offer me
drugs or money or promise not to rape me and just meet for a beer or to
smoke pot or something and then rape me or coerce me or *something*. I can
only take small steps at a time because half the fun is in the challenge of
doing something you don't like for some deep, dark perversions.


 If any of this sparks your interest or if you're just a black man who's
raped or molested white people before and you want to share your story for
me to masturbate to (even though I rationally don't approve of raping or
molesting white people that aren't me) then hit me up at
backdoordistortion@gmail.com
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