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Subject: {ASSM} Miscellaneous Abandoned Work (asst codes and genres) TBD
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Date: Tue, 17 Apr 2012 00:10:05 -0400
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Miscellaneous Abandoned Work
---

    Just what it says, neighbors. A single thread dedicated to bits
and pieces of work that got started, but never finished.
---

    The first one is one that convinced me there was at least one
style I wasn't interested in using to write a complete story.

    I'm sure there's a kinder name for the style, but I call it...

    "Legalspeak."
    ====

    The comment/idea:
    "Now there's an interesting story idea. Have the main character
never say a word or perform an action. Everyone else speaks to or acts
upon or reacts to the main one."
    ---

    Reflected love
    ---

    Sue smiled and arched her back. She was obviously pleased.

    Mark on the other hand - well, he was very jealous and just a
little disgusted with Sue's reactions.

    "I think there is something wrong," was Mark's first comment.

    "I don't think so." Sue responded. "I feel good."

    "Or," she smiled seductively, "As if I were made to feel good.."

    She studied her partners' naked bodies. "That's all that really
matters isn't it?"

    "Yeah. I suppose so." Mark commented wryly. "I feel the same way
about him."

    Mark joined Sue on the bed. As Mark settled and started entering
Sue, he moaned and suddenly arched and drove deeper.

    "Mmmmm..." Mark whispered. "I can't help but love both of you."

    Sue nibbled on Mark's lips as she wrapped her arms around both of
them. "I knew you'd see it eventually." She teased Mark's nipple with
a fingernail. "That's why I picked you for him."

    Sue and Mark moaned as they completed their union and then relaxed
without moving. Just before she drifted off, Sue hugged him and
smiled. "This hug is also from Mark."
    ---

    As the fresh morning dawned, The applecart pusher was the first to
see him. "Welcome back old friend!." An apple arched in the sunlight
and fell.

    Next was the ex-hooker who embraced him briefly. She whispered
"Thank you" before eating the apple.

    A cat, seeking special treats, found them and purred its thanks as
it rubbed against his legs.

    A dog at the park returned a small branch and stayed to play.

    So it went thoughout the day. Some gave, some took. All smiled or
walked with a lighter step after they met him.

    Each saw a bit of themselves as they paused in their normal
routines. A few frowned as they thought about how they saw him.

    A very few smiled and thanked him.

    One or two recognized a kindred spirit. Those people carefully
kept their distance because they were afraid of what they would have
to admit about themselves. They had an instinctive awareness that
should they approach him, they would destroy themselves and him. Being
who they were, they knew that meeting would never happen.
    ---

    End abandoned work: 'Reflected Love' 
=====

    On Sat, 08 Jan 2000 19:42:15 GMT wijit13@my-deja.com (Wijit)
wrote:
    > I've always wanted to read a good telepathy story, you know,
    > kind of reverse MC. The guy is suddenly able to know exactly
    > what women are thinking, feeling, and desiring, but on an
    > instinctual level rather than actually reading their thoughts.
    > He just "knows" exactly what to do and say to get any
    > individual woman to desperately want to fuck him. Of course,
    > something goes wrong ...
    ----

    Thanks Wijit.

    This one's for you.
    ---

    The Effect
    ---

    Never get a Mage drunk before you have sex together.

    No.

    Better yet, NEVER make a wish out loud while having sex with a
drunk Mage.

    You see, Safire can't remember the exact wording of the spell she
mumbled. Nor can she remember what the intent of the mumbled spell
was. That means I'm stuck with the ability she gave me. Sure, she's
tried to counteract it. The most recent attempt to rid me of it only
extended my range.
    ---

    "Johann. Can't you do *anything* right?" Safire's words were
slurred from the alcohol and other compounds she had used to reach her
present besotted state. I don't mean madly in love, either.

    "At this rate, I'll die before you get me off." Gee. Makes a man
feel good to hear that.

    I let some of my frustration color my next words. Fate, karma...
whatever. There's no way to take them back now. "No other woman ever
complained. If you're that worried, why don't you do something so I
can figure out what you want? After all, *you're* the Mage."

    She mumbled. I didn't pay any attention to what she said. That's
another lesson I learned that night. ALWAYS pay attention to what a
Mage says. If I had then, maybe I wouldn't be living alone in the
middle of this desert.

    Safire sagged and relaxed. I recognized the signs. Whatever she
had just done, it had required great power.

    There was no point in doing anything more so I stretched out
beside her and fell asleep.

    Noon sunlight warmed our bodies into reluctant wakefulness.

    "Ooohhhh... What on earth did we do last night?" Safire was
sitting on the edge of the bed.

    "According to you, I did *nothing*. Remember?"

    I staggered over to the window and puked up what was left of my
last meal. Automatically, I poured us two mugs of hangover cure.

    That's one the advantages I have from being married to a Mage. I
don't suffer as long from hangovers.

    "Here." I handed her one of the mugs. "You worked some sort of
spell last night. Then you passed out."

    "I what?! While drunk?!" Her voice was tinged with a horror I
didn't understand.

    "Oh, no." It was a whisper I had to strain to hear. She drained
the mug and dropped it.

    Then she started crying.

    That was when I started getting nervous.

    The rest of the day turned into a normal one so I soon forgot
about what had happened.

    I could tell Safire hadn't. As the day passed and nothing seemed
different, she started to relax.

    Looking back, I don't understand how come I never realized I was
more sensitive to her moods during that day and the days that
followed.

    Don't misunderstand here. I'm human. According to Safire, I'm less
sensitive to 'emotional aura' than average. It's something that keeps
us able to live together. Most people wouldn't be able to live with a
Mage.

    As fate would have it, she spent part of the day being the
'village wise woman' and that left her exhausted. Even though we slept
together, there was no sex that night. It was harvest season so my own
duties as the village smith kept me busy and tired.

    So, most of the time, we would hug each other, share a kiss and
roll over to fall asleep almost immediately.

    Finally we saw a day when nobody seemed to have broken any tools
and people had quit injuring themselves in the usual stupid ways.

    We left a note on our door and headed for a small clearing we knew
about.

    "I don't know which is more beautiful. You with the sunlight
turning your body golden or the shades of green of the trees." I
smiled as I leaned back against a tree.

    Safire looked at me with an odd look and then smiled. Carefully
she settled with her back to me.

    I started to gently rub her back. My fingers flowed and probed as
they worked the tenseness out of her tired muscles.

    "Mmmm... " She stretched sensuously. "You know exactly where..."
Her voice trailed off.

    I felt her stiffen and then laugh softly. "So that's what I did."

    I nuzzled and nibbled at the base of her neck before answering.
"What?" More nibbling and nuzzling.

    "I gave you the 'The Effect'."

    "The what? I thought I had heard you use every magical and medical
term there is." She shook her head and smothered more laughter.

    "The Effect. It's not magic, it's inborn and something women never
talk about where men can hear us. On the other hand, some men have it
anyway and we are open about it when they are around. I knew damn well
you didn't have it so I never mentioned it to you."

    She was laughing again so I relaxed and went back to massaging her
back and shoulders.

    "You said you wanted to know what it takes to please me during
sex. Now you will." Her breathing was already getting shorter and more
intense as I continued to absentmindedly rub her body.

    "Oh." I wasn't sure I liked this. My heightened sensitivity had
already made me aware of something she apparently hadn't noticed.

    I pulled my hands away as she moaned deeply. Carefully, I placed
them at my sides and waited for her to return.

    "Saf? Don't you see it yet? All I wanted to do was relax you. Sex
wasn't even on my mind. Yet."

    She leaned back against my chest and then turned her head to smile
at me. "I'm relaxed."

    I waited.

    After a long silence her eyes widened. Somehow I knew that her
lust fogged brain had started working again. She stiffened and
whispered a single, horror filled word - "Oh."

    I nodded. She had finally figured out what was already obvious to
me.
    ---

    End abandoned work: 'The Effect' 
======

Character Study for a Mad Scientist:

    Name: Zachary Zoomfelter
    Sex: Male, but not fanatical about it
    Age: Old enough that I should have seen this coming. Really.


    Academic background: Never could focus so I took everything

    Current position: Ruler of the world, never-you-mind how I got the
    title. Read the book, going on sale soon.

    Research Interest: Social engineering as a means of removing
sexual
    suppression as a cultural restriction that reduces or inhibits
    pleasure in social situations. Incidental studies involving
    interspecies kissing as a means of eliminating lactose intolerance

    Psychological Profile: I'm sure others have done them. I don't
like
    labels.

    Hobbies: Tinkering in the garage. Adjusting social patterns.
    Revising the Kama Sutra to reflect the variations possible when
    animals are added.
--

End Character Study
 ====== 

catholic lesbian converts gay male lay acolyte to het,
not a nun
--

God's Will
---

I sat on the park bench and sighed.

Already, they had been at me. Nobody said anything outright, nobody
faced me directly...

But the whispered comments were getting back to me. 'She's not normal.
Not married at *her* age? She shouldn't be near our children. She
isn't a *proper*... Why isn't she a Nun by now if she's not going to
marry and have children?'

Maybe it was time to move to another parish, yet again. My heart
wasn't in the thought because I knew the rumors would follow me.

I looked down at my hands and smiled bitterly. My beads were already
out and my fingers were already busy.. I forced my fingers to pause
while I held my beads up and looked at them, studying them.

"I'm sorry. Again." It was a whisper, heartfelt and meant to reach
Him, wherever he was. "I know I'm being a pest again. Help me.
Please."

I leaned back, closed my eyes and let the gentle breeze become His
breath, warming my cheeks with His promise of better things to come.

I was still consciously fingering my beads and apologizing for my
automatic instead of conscious appeal, when a male voice interrupted
my meditations.

"Hello, sister. You appear to be unusually troubled. May I help?"

I didn't bother to let my awareness shift fully from my problems and
appeal to Him. "I've heard it before. Can't you men be original? I'm
not interested."

He laughed, and something in his laughter jerked me out of my funk
before his words flowed over me. "Some words are timeless. And after
all, He (I couldn't help hearing the subtle emphasis) is male. Neither
of us is interested in your body. Or," he corrected himself, "At least
I don't think He is. I know I'm not. I'm gay. However, I can say with
assurance the He is concerned with your mind, as He is for all of His
children. May *we* try to help you, my sister?"

This time there was no mistaking the gentle concern that was so much
like what I heard during my confessional.

But, something else puzzled me and I couldn't stop from focusing on
two words instead of the offer to help. 'I'm gay.' No catholic I'd
ever known would *ever* come out to a stranger and admit so easily,
that they were gay. It, I knew bitterly, just wasn't done.

Still, I had asked for help. Was this man my answer?

I looked at him, studying him at last. He stood easily, the barest
hint of his earlier humor lifting the corners of his smile into
something gentle. One hand was held out before him and in it was a
business card. Something in his posture said he could stand like that
as long as he needed to, never losing that air of calm patience. His
suit was a casual one, but it was clean and he wore it as easily as he
wore his expression of concern.

To give myself time to think, I took the offered card. "Brother Robert
Preston. Lay Acolyte. 'Sons and Daughters of the Light', followed by
an address and phone number. And one more thing, a detail that caught
at my senses. The background was a rainbow with the letters 'GLBH'

"There's no church in that part of town." I babbled, I knew it and I
suspect he knew it, too. But he took my question at face value.

"He built everything around us. What need has He of a special place to
reach us? It is an office, with a phone that is answered by a real
person. Always. Just as He will answer when you call. Always."

I couldn't help my wince of pain while I thought: 'One of *those*.'

He must have seen it, but he only asked for permission to sit down.
Wondering how long it would take for him to get bored and move on, I
said he could. When he started to sit on the grass I reached out
involuntarily: "You'll stain your suit!"

He paused, looked at the grass as if seeing it for the first time,
then smiled. "You're right." He took off his jacket, folded it so the
lining was on the outside, set it down carefully... And sat on it.

I gaped.

He smiled. "This way the stains, like the stains on our souls, won't
show to the outside world." He leaned back and stretched luxuriously,
then looked at me and chuckled. "The world sees the stains, not
realizing they are usually earned honestly, by good people, doing the
best job they know how. So, instead of wearing them with pride, I
will, to fit in, to be accepted so that He might better use me to
spread His word, continue to wear the stains on the inside."

I knew he wasn't talking about the grass stains.

"Why aren't you out knocking on doors or standing on a street corner
somewhere?" My distaste for his focus was based on too many years of
being confronted by his type. Newly aware of the faith, they always
seemed to overdo their willingness to get others to see the light.
Instead of being quiet and letting their lives speak of their faith,
they insisted, in their joyous awareness, on forcing it on others.

He didn't laugh, he roared and shook with his mirth. "A door pounder!
She thinks I'm a door pounder..." And he was off again.

He sobered, some, and was still smiling when he corrected me. "I'm not
here to call your faith into question."

I let my silence ask the obvious.

He leaned forward and his touch on my hands was light, barely felt.
"Perhaps He sent me here so you could help me question my faith and
who I am. By questioning and seeking answers, we learn. And as we
learn, we grow. He wants us to grow, sister. Always. But He never said
it would be painless."

To this day, I don't understand why I spoke my next words.

"It's obvious I'm Catholic?"

"It would be my first assumption, yes. Catholics are noted for
their... Use of the beads when they are troubled."

"I've heard it before, Robert. There's no need to avoid the use of the
word 'obsessive'."

He smiled and conceeded the point. "Pesonally, I use my right thumb to
rub my left thumbnail when I'm that troubled. I often think it is a
lesser miracle, that I still had a thumbnail when He finally got my
attention, and held it until I realized what he wanted me to do."

"You felt his touch? You *know* he called you?"

He laughed again. "He didn't call me, he shoved me. Perhaps He is
shoving you, and you're fighting Him instead of letting it happen as
He wills it."

I closed my eyes and shivered. He waited me out.

When I opened my eyes, Robert was still there, and he still wore that
gentle and concerned smile.

"That sounds like you're saying God made you gay."

"I believe that, now, yes. Before..." He shrugged.

"I've admitted I'm Catholic. I'm also.... Without actually having
experience, I *know* I'm a lesbian."

"You didn't flinch when I touched you. You hide it well."

"Not well enough. The rumors have started. If I don't leave soon, I
will be asked to move on, or become a Nun."

I sighed bitterly. "Again."

He leaned back and sighed. "The pressure to conform. May I assume it's
your celibacy that causes most of the problems?"

I blushed. "I don't know it I have been truly celibate, and that... Is
what causes them to deny me my dream."

"Ah?"

"I was born without a hymen. And..."

I bent my head wearily. "When I was a young girl, living somewhere
else, I dated a young man. I don't remember what happened, but when I
woke the next day, I felt... Subtly different.

"The exam, of course, revealed nothing, so my fears were ignored, cast
aside as a young girl's wishful thinking."

He nodded slightly. "Something in you knows you were raped, even
though you have no proof."

I shuddered. "Yes. many times. The first time, I cannot prove. The
second time and the times that followed durng the next two years were
blatant, and disguised as 'concern for my welfare, to see how
traumatized I was by the 'dream'." 
---

End God's Will
======

Note: Take something similar to the relationships of Humans and Thranx
in Alan Dean Foster's work, and add the possibility of sex, then send
the mixed result off to establish a new colony, somewhere.

That was the original plan, years ago, when I started this
introduction.

Anyone wants to take it over, do it!

(Just leave my name off what you come up with, ok?)
--------------

(nosex, philosophical more than anything else)
--------

Clitkk
---

"If I must, I must." I sigh deeply and after taking a deep breath to
calm
myself, gesture for Clitkk to continue walking along the beach. I try
to put a damper on my anger and surprise at what he has told me. I
barely hear his next words.

"Survival. We don't have the resources to support offspring." Clitkk
studies me with his faceted eyes. "If it is any consolation, the
females of my species have reacted much as you have when they
discovered this aspect of the voyage."

He chirred softly in what I have since learned is Cridectian laughter.
"We
males of both species have mixed feelings about what must be done."

I settle to the sand and watch the waves. What seemed a way out of a
dull
life and an answer to one of my dreams - has just been soured. Reality
has reared up and bitten me once again.

"Why? Surely there are other options. Options less distasteful than
what
has been chosen." I'm going on the colonization attempt. I don't have
to like what I've been asked to do.

"Damnit! We have all this." I gesture at the ships in the bay.
Technology
surrounds us. "Why must the members of *this* colonization attempt do
this? Why something so primitive?" I pause and study Clitkk. I soften
my voice. "Why are *you* telling me and not one of my own?"

"Because it *is* primitive. It will always be available when needed."
He
gazes at me. What is he thinking? "Unless of course we fail utterly.
As all the other attempts have failed."

"It will also serve to bind our people even more tightly together.
Shared
purpose. Shared commitment to a common goal. Balance. We're in this
together for the rest of our lives." His head turns away and he
settles to the sand beside me. As we sit in silence, the water begins
to lap around us. We make no effort to move.

"I tell you because I must. The most recent male Cridectian to join
the
crew tells the newest female human applicants until one decides to
join. If you decide to join, you will tell the next male of my species
to reach this stage of the selection process. You will continue to
tell them until one joins and takes on the same burden."

"Oh." My thoughts are like the ripples in the water that flows around
our
bodies. I pick and pull at what I have learned.

"How many have you told?" I shift my body so I can study his. There is
no
hiding the fact he is his species' analog of a human male.

"Six now, including you." Do I hear a note of pain? "The others
expressed
various degrees of revulsion for the requirement."

"Revulsion? But, from what little I know, you would be considered..."
I
hesitate as I realize what I am admitting to myself. I finish it
softly. "Quite handsome."

"I once thought so. I have discovered your species does not share our
standards of beauty." His body sags. "I thought..." He trails off into
silence again. He is definitely suffering some sort of inner pain.

I make my decision. I'm going. I have no doubts now. Still, this
requirement that our sexual fulfillment be done with someone not of
our species, rankles. Why? Oh, I understand the physical need for some
form of contraception. We are going to be limited in what we can take
with us. Until we are assured of being able to support an increase in
population, some form of birth control is required.

The fates have a twisted sense of humor. It turns out that our species
are
physically compatible sexually. In one of those twists that nobody
could have foreseen, something in Cridectian semen acts as a natural
contraceptive for human females. Even if an embryo has started, it
will be aborted. The reverse is also true.

Something is missing in what we've been told. Why should actual
copulation
take place? As long as the semen is inserted within minutes of being
produced, it will be effective.

Tampering with biology has proven chancy at best. We can't afford to
risk
making any females or males infertile. Physical forms of contraception
are out. They can't be depended on and we won't have the ability to
replace anything that wears out or is seriously damaged.

That leaves abstinence, something I have to admit is unrealistic for
humans
- or some form of non-reproductive sex.

Logically, it all makes sense.

I still feel like Clitkk and I are missing some critical element.
There has
to be more.

"Clitkk? What are we missing? There doesn't *have* to be physical
coupling
for the contraceptive effects to be... effective." I realize I am
blushing.

"I don't know." His voice is tinged with puzzlement. "It is a most
pondered topic amongst those of us already accepted. The discussions
become frustrating after time and no solutions are agreed on. I have
one of course but I'm afraid I have no evidence to support it."

"Oh? How confident in it are you? And have you shared it with others
yet?"

"Yes. Not very confident but convinced it is an essential part of the
answer." He sighed deeply. "No, I have not shared it. The
'understanding' requires each of the pairs to discover it on their
own."

That makes me turn to stare at him. If I'm reading him correctly, he's
watching me with a measure of expectation and... Fear?

"Clitkk? Do you fear what you think you understand?"

"Yes. Because it also explains why the other colonization attempts
failed."

I don't need to ask if he's sure about that. Somehow, I know he
believes he
knows why the others failed. I ponder what he's said so far. Which, to
be honest, is very little. Wait.

"Survival. Are you saying that without the interspecies pairings, we
won't
make it? What can be so special about that aspect? Our species have
colonized together for centuries. What makes this time so different
that we need to be mated before the expedition even leaves?"

"Survival." He pauses and shifts so he is out of the rising water.
Reluctantly, I move to join him. After we resettle, he reaches out to
touch me lightly. "Without the deep emotional bonds between mates,
instinct will take over and doom us all. Both our species are," he
pauses again,
"aggressive in our survival instincts. Under stress, without the
bonding,
we would look to our own species first for survival and any others as
a means to ensure that survival."

I'm not sure I like what he's trying to delicately talk around.
"Finish it,
Clitkk. I think I know what you are trying to say."

"To put it simply, the relationship between our species *must* be
symbiotic
rather than parasitic if we are to succeed." He ducked his head. "Love
is one way to make sure of it."

"Oh." I had not expected that part. Something else occurs to me. "So,
how
does it feel to know you have made yourself one of the expedition
leaders. And me and your other co-wife your seconds in command?"

"I am not..."

I cut him off. "You have to be. We have to be. It follows that only
those
who have your insight will be in a position to truly understand how to
guide us. I'm betting that if you check with the people in charge,
tell them what you feel, you will discover yourself placed as one of
the ship captains at the very least."

"Is that what you feared?" I am rewarded with his laughter.

"No, command does not frighten me."

"What I feared is that you would not return my love after discovering
you
would be forced into a job no sane person could possibly want."

I look at him thoughtfully. Love him? No, not yet. Respect, yes.
Recognize necessity? Yes. I sigh.

"Love is something I know nothing about. Perhaps, in time I will learn
to
love you. Whatever love is. As you say, we must be crazy."

"Worse, I agree with your assessment of why this is required of us. We
*have* to be able to think of the entire group if we are to survive.
We have to be able to do that even under stress." I break off to stare
at him.

"We've been had. You can't tell me that the people doing the screening
wouldn't have the knowledge..."

He jerks his head around to look at me. I've never before seen
Cridectian
anger up close. I watch as he struggles with himself. Oddly, in spite
of being the focus of his attention, I have no fear.

"I. You. My other mate... Manipulated. No warning. No choice..." He
finally falls silent.

"So." He breathes it out as a whisper. "Are you ready to do the same
to
the others? For the rest of our lives?"

I snort softly. "Like I have a choice? Who would believe me if I
complained?" 
---


======

Unfinished Verse:

Not too surprisingly, there are only two entries in this category.
Usually, I manage to finish what I start, in a few days, at most.
---

note: inspired by a conversation
---

A Wolvish Duet
--

I am human
I am wolf
I am

You are
Who you are
------

The other one was is little more whimsical...

It's rougher than I would do these days.
--

idea... A zoo song done to 16 tons...
get the words and do the rest.
---

Four small paws
(sung to the tune -'16 tons'
words byTBD
---

Four small paws and what do you have?
A whole lot of smiles and deeper in love.




(Saint Peter don't you call me 'cause I can't go)
Hey little woman don't you ever try for me
A bit of advice that I have just for you
It would be a very special woman indeed

(I owe my soul to the company store )
Loving four little paws is where I'll be
To utter the call that I would heed
---

End: Unfinished Verse
======

This started life as another 'Miracles Taken For Granted' short story.

It... Mutated.

Be sure to thank Esu for some of the stuff in this one.
----

Love, Just a Phone Call Away
----

It had been another long day away from home. The day had been tedious,
not tiring, and I knew Ken was as ready as I was to get back to our
motel room for the night.

After we picked up our tools and put them away, we did our final walk
around to see if we'd forgotten anything. When we met back at the
trucks I stretched out some kinks and gazed off to enjoy the sunset.
'Seen way too many of those from job sites lately', I thought to
myself.

Once I was satisfied that I could move without my muscles protesting
too loudly, I did a final walk around and made sure all the toolboxes
were locked.

My partner walked up and grinned at me. "You ready to head back?"

I smiled. "Yeah, let's get dinner and then I'm headed for our room."

He kept his grin and chuckled. "Terri? Am I right? How many years,
now?"

I shook my head slightly. "Yeah, Terri. Quite a few, Ken, quite a few.
Only count 'em on our anniversary."

During dinner, his choice this time, I finished answering his question
by pulling out my wallet and showing him 'the coin'.

He smiled and without a hint of jealousy or frustration, took it and
studied it. "Five years."

I nodded. "Yah. Feels like yesterday we just met and sometimes I feel
like we've known each other all our lives."

He nodded and grabbed the bill. "I'll deal with this, you get the
tip." He was smiling when he handed me back my memories.

I put the coin away, dug out enough for the tip and met him back at
our trucks. "I'm headed for our room. You?"

He thought about it and shrugged. "Same thing."

* * *

The routine at the motel went smoothly, as always. More than ten years
of working together, a lot of it on the road, let us get settled
without talking about anything. Truthfully, there wasn't much to do
except grab a few things from the trucks, toss them on our beds or
wherever, and then settle. He always got the bath or shower before I
did and was usually stripped by the time I brought in my last item,
the travel case that held my laptop and its accessories.

I locked the door and stripped. Then, I set up the laptop and settled
back in a chair. The next action was automatic. I turned the laptop on
and after it booted, I started the cam monitoring software. Once I was
satisfied I had the cam positioned right, I grabbed the wireless
keyboard and mouse, then stretched out on the bed to relax.

A chuckle turned my head.

"Five years and you still act like the two of you are in heat or
something."

"Yep."

He nodded. "We talk about the two of you, sometimes."

I nodded back. "And?"

"How do you do it? Keep yourselves so..." He shrugged. "We've tried.
We love each other, can't believe we'll ever separate... But, we just
can't figure out how to keep things..." I could tell he was
searching... "So fresh feeling."

It was my turn to shrug. "It's a lot of seemingly little things we do.
Individually, they seem insignificant. Taken together, they're what
keeps us feeling that we'll never stop finding new joys in life--that
we will share--together."

"Like that?" He gestured at the cam and grinned.

I chuckled. "Yah. Like that. But it isn't just the cam. It helps, a
lot, but it isn't really that important, when all's said."

"Oh? But you *always* make sure it's working."

"True." I chuckled. "And we both get damn irritated when one or both
aren't working, or we don't have enough bandwidth to use them."

He snorted. "I know. Oh, how I know."

I grinned back. "Point. I can't really tell you which thing we do is
most important, because it will change depending on the situation.
But, I guess there are a few things that cover most of it."

He tilted his head slightly and studied me thoughtfully for awhile. I
rearranged myself so I was leaning against the headboard, then waited.
I know it sounds a bit odd, having this sort of conversation, but it
was a habit we'd fallen into early on in our partnership.

"Only a few things?"

"Yep. And, to tell you the truth, now that I think about it, they
might be the same things that have kept us working together all these
years."

He laughed, then settled on his bed. "OK. Now I *have* to hear what
they are."

I chuckled. "OK. Three things, mostly. Well, there's a fourth I
suppose, but it really is part of the other three things in a way.
Communication. Conscious habits. We treasure all our memories, good
and bad. Trust. Put it all together and we don't 'believe' we'll
always be lovers and friends, we *know* we will be because we've
already used all of that to survive things that have driven other
couples apart, permanently. We never promised each other we wouldn't
hurt each other. We promised we'd always try to work past the hurt,
together, when it inevitably happened." l grinned at him. "And doesn't
that sound a lot like what we do as working partners and friends?"

I leaned back and gazed off for a bit, seeing the past...

"She caught me by surprise, and while I was damn near at my worst as a
person to be around." I looked outwards again. "Hell, Ken. You and
Jessica were there."

He winced and met my eyes. "Yeah. We were there. You were pretty out
of it and just going through the motions. Jess and I were worried. A
lot."

I closed my eyes as the remembered pain took over briefly. Then I
sighed and opened them again to look at Ken. I tried for, but knew I
failed to get, the light tone I wanted. "Good thing you managed to
stay straight. I needed all those hugs you and Jess gave me. Thanks. "

He laughed. "The hugs were easy. Staying straight wasn't. We talked it
over and hadn't decided what to do when you met Terri, then we quit
worrying."

I stared at him, surprised. "You've never mentioned that before."

He blushed. "We owed you big. What you did for both of us... Hell,
Neil. You think we didn't hurt with you? That as much as we
appreciated how much you helped her, it didn't gnaw on us whenever
you'd help someone and they'd walk away?"

He sighed and shifted until he sat on the edge of his bed, facing me.
"I don't think you understand how rare you are, and how rare the right
woman for you would have to be. We kept hoping you'd never give up,
and sometimes, late at night, when we're together and sharing the
afterglow, we wonder and regret, even though we're glad you and Terri
found each other."

It was my turn to blush, then I looked away, embarrassed. "Yeah. When
I was really, really down, I wondered if being het was the right
decision. There were times, late at night, when I'd lie there,
watching you sleep and wonder..." I shook myself out of my mood and
met his eyes again. "Fear. You and Jess had each other, and your
friendship meant too much to me to risk losing it."

"Yeah. Jess spotted it first when you were around her, and one night I
rolled over and saw you looking at me. That sort of hunger is
unmistakable. That's when Jess and I started talking about how we
could help. We still don't know what we would have decided if you
hadn't started helping Terri--and she put you back together at the
same time."

He broke the tension by reaching for the alarm clock. "I'll set this
thing. You get online, Terri's probably waiting by now."

I laughed shakily. "Am I that predictable?"

He grinned back. "Yes. Terri knows what time we quit for the day, and
how long it takes to settle for the night. Not..."

He paused and added thoughtfully. "Jess is going to give me hell for
being late with my own check in."

I smiled as I started getting connected. "Ken, sometimes I think you
two create problems between you just so you can enjoy making up."

He laughed. "Took you how many years to figure that out? Slow, Neil.
Way too slow."

By then, I was connected and ignoring him. In spite of my being... I
looked at the time. Ten minutes later than usual, Terri wasn't waiting
for me. Then, I remembered. Girls' evening out. She and Jessica would
be later than usual. Should I remind Ken?

Nahh... He wasn't that forgetful. He'd known what he was doing when he
told me Terri was waiting.

There was no point in disconnecting, so I settled back to wait. While
I waited, I remembered...

* * *

Terri's first email was one of those routine 'I like your artwork'
ones, where it's obvious the other person is kind of overwhelmed,
doesn't want to admit it, so they go for a sort of embarressed
simplicity because they are afraid to 'disturb' the artist.

I kept my reply to a simple thanks, and a note that I hoped would
reassure her that I enjoyed getting fan email.

I sent it, and then promptly forgot about her. 'Just another fan', was
how I thought of her, along with all the otherpeople I received email
from every week.

Followups were rare, and usually only happened when I posted something
new that was similar to what had triggered the first email they sent.

Two days later, she responded, and this time, her insightful questions
hinted that she was more than a fan, she was someone who had tried to
draw, but for some reason, had given it up.

Whatever.

I wasn't in a good mood, for personal reasons I wasn't going to tell a
stranger, so I made my responses in the usual slightly encouraging
way, sent the email, and this time, wondered if I'd been too chil in
my response.

I had mixed feeling about that, but decided I wasn't going to help yet
another woman who would eventually dump me.

I had the job. I had Ken and his SO Jessica for friends, and for now,
that was enough, mostly.

During the next month, it became obvious that Terri had obsessed over
the dragon art that had inspired her first email.

She'd ask me about how I'd achieved certain things, I'd try to explain
how I'd done something, and she'd thank me for being so patient about
answering her silly questions because she just *knew* I had to be a
busy person in real life.

I didn't have the heart to tell her that I'd answered similar
questions so many times, I was using pre-written responses that I'd
put into a special form letter program, years ago.

I thought it slightly odd that she never asked me if I wanted to see
any of her work, but I knew better than to bring the subject up.

I wasn't about to travel that road, yet again.

Finally, though, she did the one thing that was guaranteed to make me
reconsider my vow of total isolation.

She sent me an email that only apologised for taking up so much of my
time, and she admitted her life was so fucked up she was using her
emails to me, to help her deal with all her problems.

If I was tired of dealing with her, she'd understand, and try to get a
real life, somehow.

I looked at the post, thought about what I had read, then shrugged.
'What the hell? Why not?'

Besides...

Oh, Hell. My head was in pretty close to the same place hers was, and
our emails had become something stable in my life.

So, I sent a simple response, while inwardly cursing myself for being
such a 'care-for-others-too-much' fool.

"Terri. If you want to chat with me about something besides art, email
me. Can't promise I can help, but the shoulder is available if you
want it. No charge."

I shrugged to myself again when I hit send.

Over the years I'd made the same offer to a lot of women. Some had
taken me up on the offer, most hadn't. Of those who did respond, few
kept up any sort of contact after a few months spent putting
themselves back together.. 'Thanks for your friendship, it really
helped and now I've met someone who really appreciates me. Thanks,
Neil, for your help.'

Yeah. 'Appreciates you.' What about me? Years of that crap had left me
even more cynical and bitter than when I'd first got on the net. I'd
seen the same thing in my BBS days.

I was damn sick of it, but every so often I'd get bored, somebody
would manage to get past my defenses--and I'd go through the whole
process yet again, reinforcing the bitterness. It would be even longer
before I opened up to the next person.

I'd been lonely when I got on the net, and every year, every time I
managed to help someone refind themselves, every time I helped them
gain enough self confidence to reach out to someone else, I got
lonelier.

After enough years, I gave up thinking I'd ever find someone for *me*,
who appreciated the real me, not the carefully constructed 'almost me'
that was my net personality.

So, I was cynical. I was also bitter--and bored. Something in her post
snuck in and I decided to offer my shoulder, even though I *knew* all
I'd get was the satisfaction of trying to help yet another stranger
refind herself--if she bothered to respond.

So I sent the email and forgot about it.

* * *

I was trying to remember what we'd talked about at first, when my
computer beeped at me and Ken's chortle brought me back.

"Tell Terri to pass on my love to Jess, after you get caught up. Jess
must have her cell off, or she's not where she can answer my texts."

I managed a chortle of my own. "Or maybe you have your ringer shut
off, again."

He glanced at his phone, then sighed. "No, I fogot to plug the charger
in. Pass it on, anyway, just in case."

I laughed. "I'll tell her to give Jess our room number, and that we're
at the usual hotel."

"Thanks. When the phone rings, I'll answer it." 
---

End: Love, Just a Phone Call Away
======

The Aliens Amongst Us
---

We shouldn't fear the aliens we create, because they still think like
us. No, we fear the aliens who walk amongst us, they are born of us...

But they do not think like us and that makes them truly alien because
we cannot bring ourselves to believe they are really alien, even when
we know we do not undertstand them.

That is the real basis of fear, you know, knowing that to understand
someone even partially, we have to become more like them.

Logic has nothing to do with it, emotions, everything.

I tell you, you who cannot think like I do, that you are as alien to
me, as I to you...

"Because I can think like you, if I so choose, and remain myself while
you cannot think like me and remain yourself."

The change is irreversable and once made, cannot be undone. It can be
denied, it can be repudiated.

But you will always remember that once upon a time, you weren't
yourself. and you understood as you have never understood before.

Make the choice and the you that you become will embrace you for it
while the you you are now will curse you for the rest of your life.

Interesting choice, when you know that by making it, you will gain the
strength you need to face your current fears. And know you were right
to fear deciding in favor of it in the first place.

"I offer you peace, knowing you will never live free of pain again." 
---

End: The Aliens Amongst Us
======

End: Miscellaneous Abandoned Work

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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