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Subject: {ASSM} Zoo/Best Purpose Written Work (zoo, best, finished, asst codes) TBD
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Date: Mon, 16 Apr 2012 09:10:07 -0400
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Zoo/Best Purpose Written Work (zoo, best, finished, asst codes)
---

Some of these were written in response to challenges.  Others were
written for personal reasons.

All of them had a definite purpose that led to me writing them.
---

The positions program generates a total of 280 possible combinations.
Some are unfeasable.  For those people that think there is only 'dog
style' or have limited imaginations, this should be quite a revelation
:)

Anyone want to try naming the various positions?  

And how about someone doing something similar for other animals?

Enjoy!
----------------
M$ is the man's position
H$ is the bitch's position
no filtering is done  you could add a few lines after line
60 to select feasible positions
Some of the positions are impossible and others require some
ingenuity such as using a couch or bed or something to
support one of you.  Most of the descriptions are based on
lying on a bed together.  So some strange positions can be
generated.

I'm releasing this to the public domain.  If someone comes
up with a better version, let me know.   
-----------------

10 DIM M$(14),H$(20)
15 OPEN "combos.lst" FOR OUTPUT AS 1
20 FOR A=1 TO 14:READ M$(A):NEXT A
30 FOR A=1 TO 20:READ H$(A):NEXT A
40 FOR I=1 TO 14
50 FOR J=1 TO 20
60 PRINT M$(I),H$(J)
70 WRITE#1,M$(I),H$(J)
80 NEXT J
90 NEXT I
110 END
120 REM my possible positions
130 DATA "left side","back","right side","face down"
140 DATA "squating on knees-ass on surface"
150 DATA "on knees in upright position"
160 DATA "on knees bent over"
170 DATA "standing in upright position"
180 DATA "standing bent at waist"
190 DATA "sitting on flat surface with legs outstretched"
200 DATA "sitting on chair-leaning back"
210 DATA "sitting on chair-upright"
220 DATA "semi-squat upright"
230 DATA "semi-squat bent at waist"
240 REM her possible positions
250 DATA "left side parallel","left side 90 degrees"
260 DATA "left side facing away paralel","left side facing
away 90 degrees"
270 DATA "back parallel","back 90 degrees"
280 DATA "right side facing parallel","right side facing 90
degrees"
290 DATA "right side facing away parallel","right side
facing away 90 degrees"
300 DATA "laying on chest facing","laying on chest facing
away"
310 DATA "sitting facing","sitting facing away"
320 DATA "sitting facing supported vertical"
330 DATA "left side facing parallel legs on either side"
340 DATA "right side facing parallel legs on either side"
350 DATA "standing","standing rear supported"
360 DATA "held against chest-completely supported"
~~~

Wistful Wanderings - A Conversation that Never Happened
---

"What's it like?"  Her voice is trembling.

I frown in surprise and then turn to study her thoughtfully.  If I
didn't know better, she's sad and a bit wistful.  Before I speak I
settle in a chair across the room and take the time to consider
things.

"That's right, for you..."  I pause as she nods carefully.  The woman
before me has never known the joyous part of sex.  The gentle touches.
The affirmation...  The love of two partners who care for each other.

She's also my mother.

"I don't know if I can put it into words - well enough to fully
explain."  For me, that's quite an admission.  She's read what I write
and often enjoyed it.  I have often wondered about the reasons she
insisted on reading *everything* as soon as it was finished.  Her
regular routine of asking me if I had done any more writing is now
more fully explained.

Considering I write extensively in the zoo/best genre, that
willingness of hers to read everything has always puzzled me.

For the first time, I am beginning to understand what she was really
saying when she told me she once bought some of the popular 'romance
novels' written for women and after only a few pages, they made her
sick and she destroyed them.

For her, I'm providing a way for her to try and learn about what she
has missed out on when it comes to sex and love.

"Will you try?"  She brings me back to the present.

"Yes."  The word is softly spoken.

I look down at my feet.  My latest lover is looking up at me.
Automatically, I reach down and gently stroke her forehead.  Brown
eyes close and she sighs in pleasure.

Years ago, when I revealed I'm a zoosexual, I spent almost three hours
explaining human sexuality to her before I could try to explain my
own.  During the years before and after that discussion, she has
watched me and my lovers interact in every way except for the physical
act of sex.

"My experience with women is limited.  You know that.  I can really
only try to explain things from my point of view.  She," I gesture at
my latest partner, "can't speak for herself in words.  I assume you've
been watching her to see if she shows any indication that I abuse
her."  My comment is somewhat ironic.  This bitch is one I rescued
from an abusive situation.  She's gone from 'terrified to move' to an
almost arrogant self-assurance.  She's still, after all these years,
wary of women.  I know this wariness has frustrated my mother.  She
prides herself on her ability to coax pretty much any animal to her
for attention.  This bitch is, as far as I know, one of her few
failures.  Food, yes.  Go to my mother for affection?  Not a chance.
We've both tried to overcome that and failed.  In all fairness to the
dog, she and I had formed our emotional bond long before I initiated
any sex between us.  So, it is with a great degree of confidence I can
say our sex is more than just physical pleasure and it has not damaged
our relationship.

I gaze off at nothing in particular.  "We love each other.  Committed.
We reach for the other when we need reassurance when we are down. It's
a two way relationship.  I know there are sometimes things I do that
she doesn't have a lot of enthusiasm for.  In return, I grant her
rights to do things I don't always care for.  Give and take.  Accept
some of the other's minor quirks.  There are things about ourselves
we've changed without being asked to change by the other.  In short,
we've managed to work out the compromises any couple would have to
make in order to keep a long term relationship stable."

"But that's not what you want to hear is it?  That much is obvious.
What you want to know is about the physical part."

I continue.  "It's physical.  I fuck her.  In the past, with males,
they fucked me.  Sometimes I ask them, sometimes they ask me.  We've
taken the time to learn each other's preferences."

"Sometimes, the sex is raw, driving.  Sex purely for the physical
pleasures.  Other times, it's gentle foreplay that can last for what
seems like an eternity.  The sex is more for the physical contact than
release.  Just being together and coupled adds a closeness that is...
special."

"Affirmation.  Love.  Trust.  Care.  Sharing.  At the same time, I
can't deny the physical pleasure involved.  It feels good.  If you
know anything about dogs by now, you know they don't like to repeat
bad experiences and that they can make that distaste very clear.  They
are also quite willing to let the world know that they don't like
someone who has forced them against their will.  Yes, I know they will
do things they don't like if they fear the person asking.  I wish you
could have a chance to see her relax when I carress her intimately. If
she feared, she wouldn't  act the way she does."  I sigh deeply. "That
sort of relaxed intimacy is possible between humans and where even I
originally expected to find it.  I know how it always was for you.
Pain.  Use.  Nothing to indicate any concern for your feelings."

I let my pain show through.  "You've missed out on something that is
so...  Intensly an affirmation of life.  I wish I had some way to let
you feel what I've felt."

"What you see us do in public is only the surface.  I pet my dog and
she groans and enjoys the attention.  What you don't see are the
subtle tihngs we do.  The little things that are part of our private
language of love."

"When we go to bed, I am not naked before a dog.  I'm naked with my
lover as she is always naked to the world.  In public, we are chaste
although she does sometimes speak to me of sexual interest.  In
private, we hide nothing from each other.  In private, if I suddently
decide to turn gentle affection to seduction, I may do so without
worry.  She can choose to accept or deny that seduction.  Just as I
can accept or deny her own efforts."

"The last thing on my mind is to cause her pain during sex.  A gentle
kiss of her private parts.  Licking and using my saliva to initially
lubricate her.  Things no different than human lovers would do.  The
patience to wait until she produces enough lubrication so I slide
easily during sex.  Tender caresses.  I pet her.  I gently stroke her
body.  Over the years, I've discovered her erogenous zones.  She has
learned what pleases me when she nuzzles me or licks me.  Sometimes I
just freeze with myself fully inside her and do noting more than pay
attention to her and savor our closeness."

"Do I use her for my own needs?  No more than she uses me for hers.
That has been true of all of my lovers."

"I'll admit there are things she can't give me.  Mainly, we can't
share conversations in words.  On the other hand, she gives me
something I've never had from a human lover.  Pure honesty.  I do the
best I can to return that to her. It's not easy sometimes.  Life as a
human, in the real world, affects how I deal with her.  Just as her
past affects how she deals with me, my daily life affects how I treat
her.  Usually, when we are in private, I manage to shed the cloak of
humanity that I wear in front of others and become the real person I
am.  Yes, I control my urges.  I don't become totally uncontrolled.
What I shed in her presence is the part that conceals my inner
feelings.  I no longer hide the physical displaying of my love.  She
no longer hides her own natural desires."

"In so many ways, after all these years of finding my completion with
canines, I share some of their traits.  I tend to be open because I
know on a deep level that I can never fully hide my true feelings from
someone who takes the time to look for them.  Pesonal responsibility
is a way of life.  Living with dogs has forced that on me.  They don't
understand or accept excuses for my actions."

"In private, if she rolls on her back and spreads her hind legs to
display herself to me, I can bend down and gently kiss her.  Or, she
can gently kiss me anywhere she chooses."

"Companionship.  Love.  Relaxed and casual togetherness."

"Most people find it with a human partner.  Hell, most people find it
somehow and don't go through life alone.  I'm not saying you haven't
found companionship.  All I'm saying is that sex and the physical
closeness involved adds a dimension to that companionship that is like
explaining color to someone who has been blind all their life."

"I'm sadder than you can possibly know that you never had that
closeness with anyone."
~~~

This is a serious answer to the question:  "If you had a choice, how
do *you* want to be remembered in ASS*?"

Ego in Flight
---

TBD has reached the end of that infamous road that everyone travels.
He sees many old friends and takes the time to greet those whom he
knows only by reputation.

Eventually, his fruit juice in hand, he settles to enjoy the view.

Inevitably, someone settles next to him.

"TBD?  You've made the journey.  This is the end of the road. Never
mind how you paved your section, that's done with."

He nods as he sips at his glass of juice and waits patiently for the
person to get to the point.  There's no hurry - now.

"You spent years writing and posting to usenet and other places.
Ignore most of that."

"Let's assume that five or ten years from now, maybe more, you are
still remembered in the ASS* newsgroups or whatever replaces them."

"My question is simple."

"What do *you* want to be remembered for?"

"Ah.  You've managed to surprise me."

"The most honest answer would be that it has varied over the years."
TBD smiles slightly and leans back.

"I'd be a bigger fool than some people claim if I said I wanted to be
remembered as an 'ordinary human'.  I was never that.  How could I be
ordinary when all the so-called IQ tests ranked me in the top ten
percent - or higher?  I spent years writing and posting stories and
other works.  That isn't ordinary either."

"I take pride in knowing that I eventually became a fairly good
writer.  Remembered for it?  No, what I achieved as a writer took many
years to attain and is something anyone could do."

Musingly, he continues.  "Making a positive difference in many lives?"

"No, many people did that as well."

Exasperated, the person exclaims, "Isn't there *anything* you really
want to be remembered for?"

TBD stares off at something only he can see.  Softly, he speaks.
"Well, yes, there is one small thing I'd like to be remembered for.  I
spent years creating stories that told of how zoosexuals really see
the world and their place in it.  I earned a reputation, twice, as a
person dedicated to writing 'reality based fiction'."

"That's fine and most people would be content with that."

"I'm not."

"I want to be remembered as one of the many people who helped destroy
the myth that forced so many of us to risk it all - every day of our
lives."

TBD turns back, picks up his glass, and sips at it before smiling.
"That's my dream.  People being the way they are, I guess I'll have to
settle for being remembered as a creator of some sort - *if* I am
remembered."

He raises his glass in a toast:

"To dreams.  May you always have them."
~~~

Memories Seen in a Mirage
---

I've heard it said that little, unremarkable decisions add up to big,
life defining ones that you can't help but know will change your life
significantly.

Some of the most important ones were made before I was born--but they
all led to who I am now.

Strange?  Or just the way life is?

Both, I guess.  I'll never blame my parents for the decisions they
made.  After all, *I* was the one who confronted the life-defining
decision that can never be unmade...

And chose...

To become a zoosexual.

* * *

My parents were children of the Great Depression.  Not tremendously
wealthy, not rags on their backs poor, they both belonged to working
class families, they both survived.  They carried their own scars, of
course.

My father was an only child.  When he was fifteen or so he tripped and
hit his head on the bumper of the family car.  A personality change
followed.  Mood swings were now normal.  He became abusive of his
parents when he didn't get his way.  Later, after he married my
mother, these mood shifts led to violent attacks and other abuse.  She
finally had enough and left him when I was about six.

I still remember cowering under the bed in terror when he attacked
someone, a lawyer, I think, who had come on the property.

There's still evidence of the scar I received when my head hit the
broken bedrail while I crawled under the bed.

But they loved each other before that time--and it shows in all the
pictures I've seen of them during those few years they spent together.

My mother was from a large family.  Of seven brothers and sisters, she
was the next to youngest.  I am too close to her to be able to piece
together what I consider a 'true and factual' account of her
childhood.  I've also heard so many different versions of incidents
she's related to me that I don't know how much 'truth' there is in any
of them.

No matter.  The only 'truth' that really matters is the 'truth' that
she believed, and still believes.  It is that truth that helped her
make the decisions that eventually led to the one I confronted when I
was about twenty-three.

So, without speculating on her veracity, I'll simply state that she
was the victim of an attempted rape by her oldest brother when she was
about six.  One of her sisters was well known to be round-heeled and
willing to sleep with any man who was willing to use his penis.  My
mother stayed at home and took care of her father--and was the one who
was there when he died in the bathroom from a heart attack.  He was in
his mid forties.

From what I remember, she and my father had met during their school
years at some point.  It might have been college.  I don't remember.
Both of them joined the Marines during 
WWII.  My mother served stateside, my father in the Pacific theater,
eventually winding up serving a tour of duty in the Philippines during
the reoccupation.  I have few details from either of them.  My mother
had her stories on being a mail clerk and my father never spoke of his
years except to tell me a story of how the men would masturbate before
they saw the Philippino whores in an attempt to make the time with
them last longer.  He also told me that anyone coming off leave or
returning from an off post trip was routinely required to let the
medics insert the tip of a syringe into their penis so they could get
treated for VD.  

I never knew my father that well, except through my mother's eyes.  I
knew her image of him was distorted.  It wasn't until after he died
and after I made my decision...  That I was finally able to understand
how distorted her image of him, and men in general, truly was.

I sigh deeply...

After the horror of the divorce, and the memories I have of the
judicial system and its warped idea of justice, I was the only son of
a single mother.  Of course this led to events and decisions on her
part, and mine, that now make my 'final' decision seem inevitable.

During the early years after the divorce she made her living doing
what she could.  She had her pride but she accepted the inevitable and
applied for and recieved financial assitance.  It was never enough and
she supplemented that by working.  For years she was a motel maid.  I
was too busy being a kid so I never noticed any changes in her--or
knew until many years later--that at one hotel she was raped twice in
the space of two weeks.  Both times, when she went into the room to
clean it, a man was still there.  Different men each time, but they
both did what some men often do to a woman who is essentially a
cipher, with nobody to speak for them.  She's carried those scars all
her life.  Indirectly, I carry them, too.

In defiance of the court orders, my mother denied my father his
visitation rights.  She made me a part of this by telling me all the
bad things he'd done to her.  She seldom spoke of the good things so
my picture was distorted, filled with hatred, and I was used as a tool
to help her justify her decisions.  Did I know it?  No, and much of
what she was doing was unconscious.  She did her best to present an
even-handed view of men and women but no matter how much I knew about
what was happening, no matter how much I struggled to counteract the
distortion, it was still there and affecting my view of life.

I'm not apologizing for her.  I'm not making excuses.

I grew up fast.  I was able to see the world around me at a very early
age.  I had my childhood and it was a good one for the time I lived
it.  No worse than many, it was above average and even though I didn't
have a father at home, it was a good time to be a child, albeit a
child who saw the world through the eyes of an adult.

It was a good life with far too many good things to mention.  It
sounds this way, dark, because I am taking the time to tell you some
of the parts that played major roles in making me who--and what I am
now.

My mother had a book called 'Motherhood'.  It was huge.  8.5 x 11
inches and about 5 inches thick, it covered everything.  I'd read it
through by the time I was ten.  My mother would often ask me 'What
does the book say?'.  I would tell her and she would usually follow
that advice.  

I knew about sex by then.  I'd had sex with a female cousin not once
but many times by the time I was nine.  An older male cousin
introduced me to her and the joys of masturbation.

By the time I was ten I also knew that sometimes sex can be a
commodity, to be traded--and used to survive.  Sometimes for a woman
it is the only thing she has to offer.

Forgive me, mother.  I always knew that while we lived there you paid
the rent with your body.  I've always known about the 'special bond'
you and he have.  I've always known why he still cares so much for
you.

The wisdom of silence comes early to a child able to see the world
around him.  I understand and have never, will never, judge or condem
you for what you did to help us survive.

Survival has its own rules and I understood that, even then.

By the time I hit puberty though, I had a conditioned fear of forming
a serious relationship with girls.  Something had made me shy.  I
guess most of that fear came from constantly hearing my mother.  She
was talking about men and what jerks they could be but I could see the
other side, how the system favored women in so many ways.  Piss a
woman off and she could ruin you, even if it was obviously the woman
who was at fault.  No, I wanted no part of that risk.  I was poor,
below poverty level poor and everything I had, I'd earned.  *I'd*
earned it.  Not my mother.  No gifts.  It was mine--and I didn't want
some vindictive bitch taking it away from me.

Better to avoid all women and masturbate.

Besides, by the time I was feeling this way, the hormone generated
LUST I was feeling had already found an alternative to women.  Ten
years later that 'temporary' solution became a permanent one.

A country boy.  No matter how long I live or where I live I'll always
be one.  Living in the country means animals, of course.  Cats, dogs,
chickens, turkeys, cows, horses, sheep...  Animals of some sort
everywhere.  Of course during puberty only certain parts of these
animals were of interest to me.  Sex.  Mating.  Sex.  Sex.

Fucking.

I'd grown up with cats.  My mother was and is, a cat person.  I was on
my second dog when I hit puberty.  Actually, we had two dogs.  A
Collie sort of looking male and a smaller dog that had what is now
known as the 'Benji' look.  She was a mixed breed of some sort.  Both
were intact and when she was in heat my dog would try to mount her.
The size difference made it difficult for him, but not impossible.  I
remember finding a hidden from view area in the back yard and helping
hold her so he could fuck her.  I didn't know about the knot, other
than the fact that they 'tied together'.  Any kid knew that much.  

I tried fucking her myself but couldn't get inside her.  I gave that
idea up eventually.  But, it led to one of those decisions I never
knew was important until years later.

I *was* able to ass fuck my dog--and let him ass fuck me.  It wasn't
about love or care, even though we shared a deep bond.  It was sex for
both of us.  I fucked him and I let him fuck me.  This went on for
years.  Mostly it was me fucking him but there were many times I'd lie
on my back and let him fuck me.  We never tied though.  Why that was,
I'll never know.  For some reason I never let it happen.

That was with the next dog we had, another mixed breed.

By now I knew what I wanted from a dog, and our dogs knew what they
could get from me.  The next dog was no stranger to me straddling him
and letting him swell inside me.  One evening I made the choice:  I
straddled him, got him started and finally managed to force his knot
all the way inside my ass.  I jerked off and waited for him to relax.
It felt good and I knew we'd be doing it a lot more.

We did.

Time passes.

I live alone for awhile, no animals.

I join the military, again, no animals.  There is a failed sexual
relationship with a woman who is casually considered the company cunt.
She puts out for anyone who is interested.  It's damn cold in the room
and for many reasons, my religious background (long since discarded
for the most part), whatever...  I can't perform and we do nothing.

During these years I explore masturbation and other forms of self
satisfaction.  It's no surprise to learn I'm an anal erotic.  I love
stuffing things up my ass, have since I was a child and I first
discovered sex.

Why didn't I turn gay?  I could have.  I had gay friends in high
school.  I knew that the choice was available.

Religious programming.  Cultural conditioning.  Gay was in the closet.
Gay was hiding.  Gay was trusting another human about something that
was such a major part of me.

Being gay was not an option.

I'm working.  I'm thinking about my future.  My life.  My sex life.  I
see no realistic hope of ever meeting and forming a sexual
relationship or marrying a woman.  I can't picture myself as gay.

Off and on, since puberty, I've had sex with dogs.  Dogs are
unremarkable.  They blend in.  I love dogs and have always had close
friendships, deep relationships with them.

The decision is made.

I will get a bitch and eventually have sex with her.

I start visiting the animal shelter every time I go past.

Two weeks later, she shows up.

That evening, with the help of a cousin, we bring her home.

I wanted sex.

She taught me to love.
~~~

Love's a Bitch
----

Yeah.

I know.

You've never heard me talk about my sex life.  I gotta be gay, or
asexual.  Or something.

Let me tell you, since you asked.

I'm something.

No, really.  Take a good look in her eyes.  

Unthinkable?

For you, yes.

Me?

Love's a bitch--a *real* bitch.

* * *

Hey, I never could make all the right moves around women.  Truth is, I
couldn't seem to get my head wrapped around them anyway.  All those
fucking mind games.  On again, off again sexual signals.  IDK.  Maybe
I was never meant to stumble down the path most guys walk.

When puberty kicked the hormones in we had a family dog.  OK, get
picky, a bitch.  I spent a lot of time with her.  Took her through an
obedience training class as soon as she was old enough.

Yeah, you got it.  She was intact.  Never thought about it before but
almost everyone's dogs were intact back then.  Was just the way things
were.  You just didn't fuck with nature, that's all.  You didn't want
puppies, you took the time to make sure your bitch wasn't out where
she could be bred.  Most folks had contempt for those who couldn't be
bothered with the added responsibility and took the easy way out.  Not
like it is now.  Pressure.  Laws.

Stupid.  That's what it is.

She was in heat for part of the class.  The instructor loved it. 

Those of us who finished had some pretty well behaved dogs at the end,
her included.

Anyway, we bonded.

Heh.  Bonded.  Right.  She was in heat, I was in puberty--and that was
all it took.  Didn't care for girls, could barely stand being around
women.  Guys too, for that matter.  Jerks, most of them.  Even then I
wasn't gonna play the male thing.  Talk, all talk about girls and
fucking.  All of us knew that none of us were getting laid.  Hell, all
we had were the few pics we'd seen in magazines some us had found.

So, there we were.  Me with the whole hormone thing, her too.  I even
knew the right words.  The trainer was like that.  Put it on the line.
'Want your dogs to behave?  Convince them you're boss dog.  Alpha.  Do
that and the rest is easy.'

I paid attention.  Listened to something else, too.  Our instincts.
Halfway into the class she was in my face with her ass.  'Come on.
You're in charge here, deal with *this*.'

Ya know, canine body language ain't all that different from human.
Lust did the rest.

Took some time but I figured out where we could have all the privacy I
needed.  Damn sure she didn't care.

Know something?  The parts fit together once we got our act together.

So, the first week or so, we fucked.  Took the edge off both of us.
She didn't flag every damn dog she met and I started thinking again.  

Yeah, we bonded.  Fucked ourselves into exhaustion damn near every
day.  Without the hormones raging so much, I relaxed.

Then she went out of heat.  I figured it was over.

Damn bitch.  She had other ideas.  Drug me to our special place every
day and made it damn clear that we weren't there to cuddle.  At least
she didn't want that until we'd screwed each other.

Guys got suspicious.  'What's with you?  Some sort of fag or
something?'  I just laughed.  'Nah.  I'm het.  Don't do the back door
bit.  Just not ready for anything and honest enough to admit it.
Someday.'

That always got grins.  Wry admissions that they weren't ready either.
Not all the way.  Couple went the back door route.  No big deal, rest
of us covered for them.

Kept looking at girls, guys.  Still figured I'd go het but was in no
hurry.  No pressure since I was getting laid every day.  Plenty of
time to think and the thoughts finally settled.

Fuck it.  Stay with a sure thing.  Definitely het, knew damn sure I
enjoyed the male-female action.  Had a partner who wouldn't let me
stop, too.

Later, older, guy talk, even some female talk, convinced me I'd made a
choice.  

Yah, even a time or two with a girl.  Only made it worse.  Hell, by
then I knew enough to make the right moves.  Better than a lot of guys
did.  She got clingy, but it wasn't the same.  Felt used, No return on
investment, if you know what I mean.

Stayed with the bitch.  Cuddled.  Afterglow.

Hell again, bottom line was mutual appreciation.  Lot more there than
the games.

We knew, and let each other know.

Been avoiding it but you know what I mean by now.

Yeah, *that* word.  Love.

And we meant it.

Yeah, I play the game.  Hide reality, even from my close friends. From
you.

Hey, don't get me wrong, you mean a lot.  Hell of a lot.  Isn't your
fault that I'll never get my head into the whole man-woman thing.
Wasn't meant to be, that's all.

Right there.  *She's* the center of my life.  My lover.

Look at those brown eyes and tell me she doesn't feel the same about
me.

Can't, can you?

Sure, no hands.  No hugs, either.  Can't say I've missed what I never
had.

Love?  Yeah, I have plenty.  For her and you.  Like I said though,
ain't a woman alive, man either, who can get me to think 'sex'.  Just
the way it is, that's all.

Hmm?  That's OK. 

Welcome to drop by any time.  Ain't me thinkin' about walkin'.  You
ain't the first.  Bothered?  Yeah, sure it bothers me.  Not many able
to wrap their heads around who I am.  'S OK.  I got a few friends who
know.  Managed to meet a few folks who are the same as I am.  Folks
who decided they can't do the man-woman bits, leastwise not all the
way.

I ain't putting no pressure your way.  Stupid.  It don't work that
way.  You accept, whatever...

Or you don't.

Life's simple that way, you look at it right.

A hug?  Sure.  I can do that much.  You look like you need one.

Get your head sorted and all that.  I'll be here, if.

Yeah...

I'll be here.

So will she.

You see, like I said at the beginning.

For me, love's definitely...

A bitch.

Take care of yourself, won't you?
~~~

The Bitch Who Owned Me (MC, best, 'not my typical work', caution) 
---

OK...

This short foray into the world of MC was inspired by rache's 'The Dog
Who Owned Me'.

You really should read her work before you read mine, because it's...

Just much better, that's all!

Thanks, rache, for giving me such an impossible goal to reach for,
with the jealousy driven 'Someday, I'll write something *almost* as
good as her work!'

To you, the reader who dares to go further, 'Ya never know, you might
just be in Kansas!'

This ain't my typical work, either.

You've been warned...

(So be careful about giving in to those random impulses to pull off
the interstate for a quick snack.)
-------------


The Bitch Who Owned Me
--------

I was driving to nowhere in particular after my girlfriend dumped me,
when I decided I was hungry and wondered if I could find a store or
cafe soon.

Right on cue, when I topped the next gentle rise, there was an exit
and a small general store, as if my mind had sensed it was there. 

I shook the whimsy off and parked.

There was a large dog sleeping in front of the door, and when it
raised its head to study me, it was obviously a bitch, because a head
that... Feminine looking, couldn't possibly be on a dog's body.

She watched me while I trudged up the steps, and when I reached the
top we studied each other until I sighed. "Sorry, beautiful, but
you're too big for me to step over. Appreciate it if you move so I can
go inside."

She stood, stretched, then turned sideways and shouldered the door
open...

And instead of going in, looked back at me.

"Woof!"

"Guess that means you want me to go in while you hold the door open?"

"Woof!"

"Ok. I'm going."

She waited until I was past, came in far enough so the door closed
behind her, then she sat and watched me the way a guard dog would, but
there wasn't that same... Distrust in her posture.

I looked around and spotted something that surprised me, a small lunch
counter, with a man standing behind it.

He was grinning. "Bitch don't open the door for many. Got to say the
word 'beautiful', or she makes you step over her. Hungry? What'll you
have."

"I don't have much cash with me. You take ATM cards?"

"I do, but Bitch won't let me take money when she's decided you belong
here."

I sighed. "Way out here? Bet you need all the money you can get, to
keep the door open."

I reached for my wallet, and my hand hit her nose instead.

"Grrrr...."

"Told you. Now she's telling you. You don't need money to get some
food."

Then he looked lower, at his bitch. "Give him one of your leashes?"

"Woof!"

"Right."

Then he looked at me. "While I get the leash, you be looking over the
menu."

He went over to a display of leashes and collars, reached for one of
the leashes...

"Grrr..."

"Left?"

"Grrr!"

His hand moved slowly to the right, and when he stopped in front of a
blue one that had the word 'bitch' stitched into it, her tag wagged.

"Right."

He took it off the hook and brought it back. "Here. Loop it over your
neck so it's in plain sight, or fold it and hook it over your belt so
it can be seen."

"I don't understand."

"Don't need to, yet. Just means you've been here, and Bitch says
you're ok. Also means you're safe to take in, so you probably won't
make it to the hotel before you get taken into someone's home for the
night."

I sighed. "And it will be free, right?"

"You learn fast, son. That's good. Should have expected it, since
Bitch approved you. You decided on your lunch?"

"Don't see any prices. Can't decide."

"When it's all free, it don't need to have a price, right?"

"I guess."

I looked around and spotted Bitch, who was settled in front of the
door and watching me intently. When our eyes met she growled.

"Might as well order something."

"Or I don't get to go?"

"Like I said. You're a fast learner."

"Steak dinner, then. Tired of fast food. Well done on the steak."

"Got it."

His hand moved to his neck, and that was when I realized he was
wearing a collar. 

"You into bondage or something?"

He laughed and looked at Bitch after he put my steak on to cook.
"Manner of speaking. Call it a town custom. Collars are easier to see
than a wedding band. Means I'm married, and I get left alone, unless
my wife decides to share me."

"Grrr..."

"Only mentioning it, Dear. Not thinking about it, much, any more."

My head finally made the connection. "You're one of those animals
fuckers!"

"So are you, son. Get used to it."

"No!"

I spun the stool, started to get up...

And screamed when I was met by a set of bared teeth that would have
looked good on a shark.

"Snarl!"

"Take it easy, son. Whatever life you had, it's over, one way or the
other."

I slowly sat down again and that got me a single wag of her tail and
the teeth vanished, to be replaced with a grin.

I made it a statement. "Bitch understands."

"Yep. All of them do. You might as well accept it, because if you
leave, the feral ones will get you, and they're... Casual about the
humans they use."

"Casual?"

"They don't plan for the future, because we're a renewable resource to
them. They get tired of you, or something happens so you can't keep
up, you turn into bitch shit. 

"Town bitches aren't like that. They aren't all monogamous, but when
they choose you, it's for life, and they help make sure it's a long
one, even if you can't service them in bed."

I heard a plate hit the counter, and he spoke gently. "It's a done
deal, son. Might as well relax and let it happen. Once you've accepted
it, you'll get to feeling like you never wanted anything else in your
life. You'll see. Eat. Bet you're hungry, anyway."

It was like his simple comment was a switch, and I realized I was
ravenous.

I wound up eating two steaks, and he just laughed when I seriously
considered a third one.

I burped, and realized that for the first time since the arguments
between my girlfriend and I had started, I was content with life
again.

I held out my hand. "Thanks. I'm Ted. Never caught your name, if you
mentioned it."

He shook my hand and smiled. "Everybody calls me Argus. I had a
different name a long time ago, but I only use it when somebody
official comes through. Have to look it up every time, because I never
can remember it."

Suddenly there was some excited barking outside and Bitch spun and
snarled at the door before she ran over and braced herself against it
when it started to open..

Argus joined her and added his weight, then locked it as soon as he
could.

They both relaxed, then he faced me. "They know you're in here. They
wouldn't have hurt you, just acted like overgrown puppies to suck you
outside. Then... They'd strip you in seconds and decide if they wanted
to keep you for themselves, or not."

"If they didn't want me?"

"Depends. You collapse from fucking, they'd likely leave you there and
go away. Argue with them too much, they 'd rape you anyway, then
leave. Hurt one, and... You'd get punished before they have you for
dinner, while you're still alive."

Suddenly there were a lot of savage snarls, followed by yips of
intense pain, then an oppressive silence.

A huge dog nosed the door and Bitch tilted her head. "Urf?"

"Arf!"

She stood and pawed at the lock.

Argus laughed and unlocked the door.

As soon as the bolt clicked back, Bitch lunged and shoved through the
door so fast the other dog had to dance backwards to avoid her rush.

When it turned, it had its tail high, and I could see it was another
bitch.

Argus noticed where I was looking and he chuckled. "Bitches, all of
them. You won't see a dog, anywhere. Come on. Safe enough, now. Looks
like the patrol killed all of them. Must have been a newly formed pack
and they decided to test the rules."

I almost lost my lunch when I stepped through the door and got a good
look.

Argus just shrugged. "There's a treaty between the town and the feral
packs. They leave us alone, and don't touch the people, the feral
packs get left alone. Violate it, and the violating pack gets
exterminated by the town, if the other ferals haven't done it already.
In return, we give them medical care when they need it, and help them
survive when times are lean.

"Help me get rid of the bodies, then I imagine the patrol will escort
you to town. Leave your keys and I'll park your car out back with the
others."

We took the bodies across the road and left them in the field. When I
asked about burying them, or something, Argus shrugged. "They're
downwind, and won't be there long enough to stink up the place,
anyway."

He lifted his head to study the circling ravens. "Ravens have spotted
them already, and the ferals watch the ravens. Be nothing but bones in
a few hours."

"Dogs..."

"Snarl!"

I flinched and looked at the dog that had hit my leg with her nose. It
was the same one who had been outside the door.

Argus just laughed, then looked at her. "Just got here from outside.
Them folks don't care enough to use the terms right."

"Grrr...."

"Right. I'll tell him."

He sighed. "Like I said, nothing but bitches around here, and they
don't want to be called anything but what they are. Be best if you
remove 'dog' from your vocabulary, unless you're talking about ones
that have dicks, then it's ok."

I sighed. "Was it this weird for you?"

"Worse. I was gay. Took a month of never getting laid, and a few other
things, before I settled in and realized bitches are better sex
partners than something with a prick. Didn't care for cunts at first,
but these gals have ways of helping you make discoveries about
yourself. Anyway, you were going to say?"

"I was going to ask about bitches eating bitches."

"Meat's meat, and at least, if it's another bitch, it's mostly
nutritionally balanced, so they don't have to drift into town as often
for dietary supplements."

"Err..."

"I know what you're thinking. No. Folks from town eat meat, but we're
not cannibals, even though the bodies get left for the ferals and
anything else that wants to scavenge them."

I shuddered. "No graveyard?"

"Nope. Can't afford what would happen if someone from outside got
their hands on a body."

Suddenly I felt like something was forcing me to turn my head until I
was staring at the large bitch who'd nudged me.

Argus laughed. "She likes you. Let's go back, so the ferals can have
lunch."

I couldn't move to follow him. "You're very beautiful, you know."

She stood and turned so she could raise her tail and let me see her
sex, and without thinking I stepped, knelt, and began stroking it
gently.

"I wish I knew your name. Doesn't feel right to keep calling you a
bitch."

"Arf!"

I sighed. "Wish I knew what that meant."

Argus chuckled. "She's agreeing with you, sort of. Unmated bitches
don't have names. She wants you, and that means you get to suggest
names until she likes one of them. Marriage ritual, kinda."

I gulped. "You mean?..."

"Yep. Man and Bitch, son. There's a flip side, of course. Your name
isn't Ted any more. She'll come up with a name for you, and help you
figure out what it is."

I nodded, and then studied my... Wife.

It was like I'd never seen a bitch before, and she was the first one
I'd looked at like she was a real person.

She was beautiful, but there was something else. Her beauty wasn't...
Elegant.

While I'd been thinking and looking, my fingers had been exploring,
since it was obvious she wanted the attention.

Sometimes her haunches would flex when I pushed into her, and I
remembered a line from a book I'd read.

"You have very comely haunches."

"Woofwoof!"

"What? You like that compliment?"

"Arf! Grrr..."

"Yes, but? I said something you agree with?"

"Arf!"

"I don't get it... Oh. Argus was telling me I get to name you."

"Arf!"

"Got it. Haunches?"

"Snarl!"

"I get the message. Only one other word that makes sense as a name.
You like the name 'Comely'?"

"Woofwoof!"

She pulled away and turned around so she could lick my face, and her
joy was all I could feel, and her body was all I could see, until
Argus chuckled.

"Comely, is it? You didn't have the look of an old fashioned romantic.
Comely!"

I had the impression her head turned reluctantly as she focused on
him.

He sighed. "Yeah, I know. But my place is neutral territory, and we
can lock the door so the ferals don't mistake the two of you for food
while you're helpless."

Her ears went flat, and she actually sighed before she perked and
turned back to nudge my crotch.

I stood "I'm not *that* stupid. I want to fuck you, too."

"Arfarf!"

Argus and I started walking back, and I finally realized the rest of
the bitches were surrounding us while they were glancing backwards.

When I looked, I shivered. There must have been at least ten bitches
savagely ripping chunks of flesh from the bodies we'd left in the
field.

Argus spoke casually. "Those are the local ones who keep an eye on
things around here. They're more used to people, and dealing with the
town bitches. They're tough, but they know they're no match for a
patrol that's still high from a successful hunt. It's the packs who
show up later that we need to worry about. To some of them, anything
that's meat is potential food, and they don't care if it's dead or not
when they start eating."

"Got it. Let's get inside so I can expect to survive my honeymoon."

He laughed. "And so Comely can figure out a name for you. Don't be
surprised when she uses the letter chart to spell it out for you.
Every building has one, and we'll have to get you a pocket version."

"Spelling?"

"That's if she hasn't found another way to tell you."

"Sounds mysterious."

"Call it a rite of passage. If I told you, it wouldn't..."

Bitch snarled at him and he shut up.

By the time we got inside I was already starting to take my clothes
off, I was that horny.

Comely looked around, then went over and got on a platform that put
her at just he right height I could fuck her.

I didn't think about not being able to, or have any doubts and
questions when she raised her tail.

I was as ready as she was, so I got behind her and bent so I could
lick her like a dog would, until she was really wet, then I stood up
and fucked her.

She was tight, and that tightness seemed like it went on forever,
until suddenly my dick hit air, and it felt like my shaft was inside
the deepest asshole sphincter in the world.

It was like fucking a cunt that had the muscles of an asshole, and
that ring of muscle was almost as long as my dick.

Almost the last thing I remember about my first bitch fuck was that I
knew that if I ever fucked a woman again, I'd be comparing the woman
to Comely, and not the other way. It made perfect sense to do it that
way, because it was obvious that bitches and men were designed to fuck
each other.

It wasn't until many days later that I thought about how complete my
change in attitude had been, when it was pointed out by someone else.
Then, Argus' calm words about feeling like I'd never wanted a
different life, made sense, and all I did was shrug.

Comely froze and let me do all the work, but her whines and panting
told me she was enjoying herself quite a bit, which made me work
harder at trying out things that made her do it even more, and...

I was buried in her when a nose hit my ass and a tongue stroked my
balls.

Then other tongues hit my legs, and another bitch braced her front
feet on the platform and nosed my mouth, which had a will of its own,
and it opened for her tongue, which proceeded to clean my cheeks from
the inside.

It was too much, and I orgasmed, and pulsed, and jerked Comely back,
and then, when I was done, I went back to fucking her without losing
my erection.

I never thought about stopping, or pulling out to recover.

I kept fucking Comely, the other bitches kept working me and giving me
attention, and I peaked again...

And I kept going and we did it all again, and...

When I came out of my trance, I was on my back and wondering how the
Hell I'd got there.

A head on my chest shifted. "Urrr?"

Memories flooded back. "If you're asking me how I feel, I'm sore,
exhausted, and...

"Starving!"

"Arf?"

"Yeah. Otherwise, I think I'm ok."

A different nose hit my crotch and licked my penis, which to my
horror, was getting erect.

"Hey! Can I please go to the bathroom and eat, first?"

Giggles made me blush.

"Leave him alone, girls. Let's get him home, before you put him in the
hospital and have to wait weeks instead of hours, before you get
fucked again."

"Grrrrr..."

The head on my chest left it.

"SNARL!!"

The giggles changed to laughter. "At least one of you knows enough to
let him recover, and since she's the Alpha, there won't be any
arguments."

A hand touched my face and turned my head. "You can open your eyes,
whoever you are. It's not a dream."

I opened my eyes and stared, then spoke before my brain kicked in. "If
I'd never seen Comely, I would have thought you're beautiful."

"Comely?"

"The bitch I fucked."

"That doesn't help much. Argus said you fucked all of them at least
twice each before you passed out."

"Urf!"

She smiled at the bitch who had her head on my chest again. "Oh. Of
course. I should have realized you were the one who owns him, now. She
named you yet?"

"If she has, she hasn't told me. I... Err... Last I remember, I was
still fucking her during the first time, and I hadn't stopped yet."

Masculine laughter rumbled thought the air. "Nurse, meet 'Yote', short
for 'Coyote'. I think it has something to do with his stamina. Never
seen anything like it. He fucked Comely until she collapsed, then kept
going and fucked the rest of the patrol until they were the ones who
quit.

"When they did, he went down so hard I called you, then covered him
and asked the patrol to surround him to immobilize him and share their
body heat."

"Thanks, Argus. Wish I could remember what happened."

"Security cameras caught it all. I'll dupe a tape and send you a copy.
Comely told us your name after she woke up. She went to the bathroom,
had something to eat, then settled with her head on your chest and
hasn't moved since. You're definitely hers, Yote, but she's willing to
share you with the rest of the patrol."

"I hope I can survive the experience."

"You will. You up to eating?"

"Like I said, I feel starved."

He laughed. "You *should* feel that way. You were a fucking machine
for almost 18 hours, then you passed out for another twelve. Don't try
to move. Nurse can prop you up, and I'll bring over some finger food
that's been waiting for your appetite."

After I'd eaten my way through the food, I burped and petted Comely.
"This is weird. I've never had a bitch or a dog in my life before.
Some friends do, and I've petted them a few times. Damn sure I never
thought about fucking any of them, and...

"I didn't have to think about it, or have any questions or doubts. I
did it, and now, it's like I know men and bitches were designed to
fuck each other."

I blushed. "Sorry, Nurse. I'm not usually so blunt."

She smiled. "The Bitches don't see the point of all the games we used
to play, so they don't let us play them. You're new, and the patrol is
letting you feel the changes while they happen. Some folks they've
decided to fuck, they don't bother. Means Comely has some plans for
you that involve you understanding more than usual."

"Don't let us play the games?"

"You think it's normal for a man to fuck ten bitches in a row?"

"I do now... Oh."

"Right. They're inside our heads. Got some kind of weird power that
lets them control people and make you think it's all your idea, if
they let you remember what happened.

"Bet you felt something about this place being a place you had to stop
at, right? Most folks don't even know it's here. They have sentries or
something and make folks so they can't see it.

"Anyway, what happened was Comely's way of letting you know what the
real situation is."

Argus' earlier description of the ferals suddenly surfaced and I
shivered and stared at Comely, then looked at the other bitches. "The
ferals. They don't care, do they? They'll deliberately use a man and
let him fuck himself to death. Is that what this was all about? A
lesson?"

Argus was sober. "You're right about the ferals. Isn't always humans
they use. Coyotes, stray dogs... If it can't fuck them, they force it
to fuck anything else that happens to be the right size, or even
masturbate itself to death."

He shook himself and laughed. "You can relax. That's not going to be
your fate. When Comely and the rest of the patrol are in heat, you're
going to be siring a lot of puppies."

Nurse sighed. "Not just puppies."

"Oh, yeah. Forgot about that. Bitch don't let me think those thoughts
very often, any more."

"I haven't either, until I got here and saw Yote."

I broke in. "Hey! It's impossible for humans and animals to fuck and
have kids."

Nurse smiled. "You keep thinking that until you fuck Comely and she
has your puppies."

"What about you? Am I really supposed to get you pregnant?"

She shrugged. "I'm not a virgin. I am part of the patrol, and when you
aren't fucking them, you'll be fucking me or I'll be fucking you. I'll
take longer to catch than they do, but they're patient about that sort
of thing. Besides, they can tell when women are the most fertile and
likely to catch. If they want me to get pregnant, they'll make us mate
until it happens, if we aren't doing it on our own when Comely says we
can."

"Says we can?"

"Can you think about fucking me?"

"Huh? Think about what?"

"Never mind. All I was saying is that when the time is right, it looks
like you'll be fucking the entire patrol and fathering their puppies."

"Oh, yeah. Sounds like a turn on. Puppies, huh? Be nice to be a
father. You think they'll let me play with them and... What about
after they're grown up enough? Am I going to have to fuck them, too?"

"Up to Comely. Right now, you'd better worry about recovering enough
you can walk to town and settle in with us."

"Us?"

"I'm their housekeeper, too. We all live in a two story on this edge
of town. Be nice to have a man around full time."

"Everybody calls you Nurse?"

"That's what I was, before. Most of the time I'm a vet for the
patrols. Since I live with Comely and her pack, I was the one that got
sent out to make sure you were ok."

"Am I?"

She glanced sideways at a bitch who had been sneaking up my legs, on
her way to my crotch.

Comely 'rrred' at her and she grumbled and backed off until she could
rest her head on my lower leg.

Comely sneezed, then relaxed but kept one eye open so she could watch
the other bitch.

Nurse laughed. "She thinks you are, but Comely knows better. Last time
any of us heard of a guy fucking like that, he was a biker the ferals
ambushed and left to die."

"Did he?"

Argus laughed. "No. Bitch was a patrol leader back then, and she
didn't waste any time with the usual rituals. She got inside my head
and forced my body to live while the doctor patched up all the nips
and tears."

"Sounds pretty far fetched, that a bitch could force a dying human to
live."

"Surprised the Hell out of me, when I woke up. But, can't be any worse
than helping you fuck ten bitches for eighteen hours, right?"

"Uhh... Hey, you say it happened, so I'll believe you, but how come my
dick isn't so raw it's bloody and hurting like Hell?"

"You weren't fucking all the time. When they couldn't keep it erect,
you were working them with your hands and mouth. They even gave you a
couple of bathroom breaks, sort of."

"Sort of?"

"How do bitches take care of puppies that are too young to go
somewhere else?"

"Oh. Kinky stuff, huh?"

"No. Natural as breathing, for bitches. Nothing kinky about it, just a
fact of life Not the first time I've had to get out the scoop and
mop."

"Yeah. Makes sense, now. You sure it was eighteen hours?"

"Could be a bit more, or a bit less. Used most of a twenty-four hour
security tape."

"Wow. Umm... Is it ok for me to get up? I need to go, all of a
sudden."

Argus shrugged. "Up to Nurse."

"Help him get to his feet, Argus. He needs to move around so his
muscles loosen up."

"Right." He bent slightly and held out his hand. "Grab on."

I did, he braced, and then he helped me up.

I winced and groaned while I found my balance, then, when I tried to
step, screamed and doubled over in pain.

"Hang on to me, Yote. Nurse? Got any of the good stuff? Jab him in a
haunch."

I felt the sting of a needle, and a few seconds later the pain was
washed away and I could straighten up.

"What was that stuff?"

She sighed. "What else? Morphine. When Argus told me what you'd been
doing, I filled a couple syringes before I came."

Then she spoke again, but it wasn't to me. "You've seen it happen to
others and I've warned you. But you all got carried away like a bunch
of ferals, didn't you?"

"Grrr..."

"Knock it off. Just because you haven't been laid for awhile is no
excuse to nearly kill the man who's going to be your mate, right?"

"Arf!"

"Hmmph! Well, if you girls don't lose it when you're in heat, at least
you know he can survive pretty much anything you make him do."

"Woof!"

She shifted her attention back to me. "Lean on me, and I'll help you
to the bathroom. From there, since you're on the morphine already,
we'll all go home, and then... You're going to bed for at least a day,
and... I'll try to convince these sluts to leave you alone."

"Thanks. Can we get moving? I'm close to losing it."

She laughed. "Come on, then. No point in making Argus get his mop and
scoop out again."

When Nurse helped me stagger out of the bathroom, Comely was waiting
for us and she had my leash in her jaws.

Nurse bent and took it, then tied a loop in it and settled it around
my neck. "Temporary, until you can get a collar with Comely's name
stitched in it."

She laughed. "Nobody's going to try anything anyway, not the way you
smell. Anyone who gets within fifty feet is going to know you've been
fucking bitches, even though none of them are in heat."

I blushed. then headed for my clothes, and got met by a set of teeth.

All I could do was sigh. "No clothes, right?"

The bitch blocking me looked at Comely and must have seen an answer
she liked, because her tail wagged enthusiastically.

I sighed again and looked at Nurse, who was smiling. "Weather's nice,
and we won't be out long enough for you to get a burn started... She
looked at Comely. "Ok if I put some sunscreen on the critical parts?"

Comely sneezed, then went over to the shelves and came back with a
tube of sunscreen and offered it to Nurse, who blushed for some
reason, then took it.

I was startled when she went to her knees and reached for my dick with
her free hand, then worked me until I was erect.

"Uhh... Nurse?"

She ignored me, took me in her mouth, and started giving me a
seriously intense blow job.

In desperation I looked for Comely, and discovered her watching me.
When our eyes met, she thumped her tail happily, and as soon as she
started, nine other tails thumped on the floor at the same time, while
all of them grinned at me.

No help there, and if I had the new rules figured out, I was supposed
to relax and let it happen.

So I did, and Nurse quickly got me off and licked me clean after she
swallowed and wiped the overflow from her chin...

Then she reached again and spoke as if nothing had happened. "Here.
I'll coat your dick and ass so you don't have to worry about them
burning and peeling."

When I glanced Argus, he shrugged. "Get used to it, Yote. She doesn't
know it happened. Neither will you, sometimes. Holes in your memory
are a fact of life, now."

When I looked at Comely, she had her lips peeled back in a huge grin,
so I decided to do a shrug of my own. "Got it, Comely. I do what you
make me do, and think what you want me to think, when you want me to
think it, sometimes. Appreciate it if you don't use my prick as long
as you did this time. Wouldn't mind being able to remember the entire
experience, either, once in awhile."

Nurse stood and worked some of the cream into my face and neck before
she pulled away. "There you go. You're ready, so whenever Comely is
ready to head home, we can leave."

"What about my clothes?"

"Argus will put them in your car after he washes them. When Comely's
ready for you to have new ones, she'll take you shopping."

"Ok."

I turned to Argus. "Thanks for everything, Argus."

"You're welcome, Ted. You ever get out this way again, drop in and say
hi. In the meantime, have a safe trip back home."

My eyebrows went up, then I looked at Bitch, who dipped her head
slightly, so I refocused on Argus. "I'll do that, Argus. Might be
awhile."

"No problem. We'll be here."

Comely nudged my leg and pointed her nose at the door, so I shut up
and led the way.

After we got outside, and the patrol surrounded us, I glanced back to
see that Bitch was resettled in front of the door, and watching us.

Nurse noticed my focus, and she spoke quietly. "He's already forgotten
you. As far as he knows now, he runs a small store next to the
interstate and he just served another traveler he'll probably never
see again. Bitch will remember, though, and if you're ever out this
way, she'll turn his memory on, if she feels she needs to. Safer that
way, for all of us."

"Yeah. Makes sense."

I looked down. "Ok, Comely."

She sneezed, then stepped out confidently and headed for the road,
which looked like it went on forever, with no signs of a town.

When we hit the shoulder of the road I looked back and gasped. There
was no sign of Argus' store.

Nurse must have known how I was feeling because she touched my arm to
get me to face her. "Relax. It's there. We're not being allowed to see
it, that's all."

I glanced over my shoulder again, then turned back. "Not being allowed
to see what?"

She ignored my question and gestured in the direction we'd been
walking. "Come on. House on the corner is where you'll be living."

I looked at the tree lined streets, well tended houses, and smiled.
"Nice neighborhood. How far to town?"

"Main shopping plaza is less than a mile from the house. Easy walking
distance, once you recover from fucking the entire patrol."

I chuckled. "Right."

We linked arms, Comely settled at my left side, and the twelve of us
went home.
---

End: The Bitch Who Owned Me
~~~

Not a lot of activity in this one.

'Routine Contact' starts with a basic concept I expressed a long time
ago, but for some reason, I never wrapped a story around it:

"Because of their dedication to understanding their non-human
partners, zoosexuals might be an ideal choice as contact specialists
and translators if we ever find ourselves dealing with aliens."

Chapter one introduces the primary characters, and sets up some of the
background in this universe.

Right now, I don't have any solid ideas about what lies in the future
for them.

What I tentatively envision is an episodic serial similar to the Man
and Muse work, but science oriented, and not as Earth centric.
-----

Routine Contact
Introduction
--------

"Well?  Where are they?"

"Third planet.  Lots of low spectrum stuff.  Xeno thinks they're still
transitional for some reason.  Lots of moving point sources.  Probably
personal communications devices."

"Mid level tech base, then.  Good.  How's their detection of high
spectrum?"

"None, as...  Wait...  New report.  New analysis.  Millions of high
spectrum devices in use.  Limited range, that's the reason we didn't
detect anything this far out.  Probe data indicates there are so many
in use, ours will go undetected, as long as we configure to match
their emissions patterns."

"What about their military?  What's the risk assessment?"

"Some, of course.  No signs of anything we shouldn't be able to
neutralize or deflect.  Hints of a detection system that's a primitive
version of our targeting locator, so they might be able to detect that
and track it."

"Tracking is an acceptable risk, since we don't anticipate any hostile
engagements in this system.  What about anything they can send at us?"

"Uncertain.  Some near space activity, but we haven't seen any of
their shuttles or other space capable hardware, so we don't know, yet.
Tech is still searching the global information network for more on
that.  There's so much on it, the filters are taking longer than usual
to sort through and find what we're looking for."

"Do the best you can.  Any suggestions?"

"Xeno has one.  Tech species is bipedal.  Lots of shape bias, of
course, but they are certain there is a fringe group that isn't shape
biased.  Their suggestion is send teams down that resemble some of the
cohabiting quadrupeds, then let them see if they can make contact for
recruiting purposes."

"Recruiting?"

"Yes.  Samples of their entertainment indicate there is a specialty
form that routinely explores alien contact as inevitable.  Xeno
wouldn't mind the chance to do some experiments."

"From that, I infer that we can't just come in openly and say hello to
our neighbors?"

"Too much native suspicion, I'm afraid.  Still, limited recruiting is
better than periodic harvesting."

"True.  Let me know when the teams are ready, then we'll stealth and
do the insertions.  How long should we give them?"

"As much time as they need to make their decisions."

"You being an optimist or pessimist?"

"Both.  Handled right, the teams might be able to get local
cooperation and start a self sustaining colony capable of saving our
tech base."

"Xeno thinks these..."

"Humans. Sir."

"Xeno thinks we'll find enough of these humans who are willing to
help, yet keep our presence secret?"

"It's that fringe group.  I'll route some files over, and while we
wait, you can study them..."

* * *

"Xeno."

"My office.  Now."

"Sir?"

"I need some questions answered."

"But..."

"Now."

"Yes, Sir."
.
.
.
"This one. How did your people miss finding...  'Him', I believe is
the correct term?"

"Two sexes for reproduction.  Seems almost universal.  Him for
external genitalia, her for internal producers."

"Whatever.  That's not important.  This person should have been
flagged for high level contact by one of our best teams, at least. No.
Forget that.  Should have been marked for my personal attention, if
not a special contact team, from home."

"Sir?  I don't understand.  He's an isolate.  Hermit type.  No contact
with anyone, that we can determine."

"Fools.  All of you.  What's the point in having Xeno, if you keep
projecting our culture on whoever we find?"

"It isn't projecting.  He's deliberately isolated himself from his
support group.  No influence with them, so there's no point..."

"ENOUGH!"

"But..."

"SILENCE!
.
.
.
"Very good.  I will explain, once.  You will listen.

"In our terms, the man is a wandering balladeer.  He communicates,
through the medium of the global information exchange, with *anyone*
on the planet.  What he communicates, are *ideas*, to anyone willing
to read his communications.  Do you understand me, so far?"

"Yes.  That was taken into consideration, and his work has been
analyzed.  Normal stuff.  Fantasies mixed with truth."

"I will try, one more time, to convince you that Xeno has been
projecting our culture.  Who's 'truth' have you been seeing?  His
culture's, or ours?  Are you going to tell me that the value system he
uses in his work, while normal for us, is normal, *in his culture*?

"Not only that, how could you have missed this article he wrote, about
the members of his peer group being ideal for first contact?

"We've been *anticipated*, in such accurate detail it frightens me,
and it should have made Xeno start looking over their shoulders, to
see if some of these humans aren't working on contacting us!"
.
.
.
"Obviously, we handled this one very badly.  Do you have any
suggestions?"

"Yes.  Find him.  Discover his preferences, then cosmetics will make
the proper alterations in my appearance, and I will be dropped nearby,
alone, so I can make contact."

"Alone?  Regulations..."

"Who writes those regulations?"

"You do, Sir."

"You do, after all, show signs of some common sense.

"You have a job to do.  Do it."

* * *

"Contact teams are down safely, and as far as we know, undetected."

"The synth-analyst?"

"She's been placed, and is undetected, too."

"Good.  Stay stealthed until we're parked at system nadir, then make
sure we aren't occluding anything they might be interested in."

"Yes, Sir.  Sir?  A question?"

"Go."

"Do you think he'll see past the cosmetics and realize she's not a...
Bitch, I think their term is?"

"Cosmetics has never failed before, but she's counting on him spotting
her for what she is."

"That doesn't make sense."

"Genius never does.  Try this one.  She, and those few like her, are
more alien to us, than any of the aliens we've met since going into
space."

"But...  She's one of us, Sir.  That doesn't make sense, that's she's
an alien to us."

"Ever talked to her about herself?"

"No, Sir.  She's...  It's the way she thinks.  It's..."

"Relax.  She won't get upset if she hears about this.  But if you were
going to call her type of thinking 'alien', she'd agree with you.  See
my point?"

"I think so.  I never thought about her that way, before.  She must be
pretty lonely."

"She is, and she's doing something about it."

"A...  Human?  That...  Oh.  Thank you, Sir, for pointing out my
unconscious bias.  I will deal with it while we wait."

"Xeno is always looking for good people."

"Xeno?!  I'm an engineer and shuttle pilot."

"It will give you something to think about while we wait.  Out."

"Out."

* * *

The middle aged man was relaxing on his porch when his eyes narrowed
slightly as something moved in the surrounding trees.

A large bitch stepped out and settled on her haunches, then the two of
them studied each other for awhile.

He spoke easily, "Well, girl.  Never seen you before.  I'm friendly.
Want some lunch?"

Her head tilted as if she were considering his offer, then she stood
and walked in his direction.

She was barely half way to him when he sighed, then laughed.  "Well.
So it's happened at last.  I don't expect I'm the only one being
contacted, but thanks for stopping by to say hello.  You can drop the
pose.  It's a good job, but you aren't a real bitch.

"Welcome to Earth, whoever you are."

She froze and her head lifted when she posed regally, then she shook
herself and finished walking over to his porch.

She sat again and spoke easily.  "Thanks for making me richer.  I
*told* cosmetics we'd get something wrong and you'd spot me.  How?"

"Cosmetics?  How much of that body is still you?"

"Lengthened my torso and legs, then modified my ears quite a bit.  Fur
and coloring is all mine.  So are the vocal cords."

"Ah.  That explains it.  You from a higher g world than mine?  We have
breeds that walk that daintily, but the breed you resemble isn't one
of them.  It was the way you moved that gave you away, mostly."

"Twenty percent higher, but shipboard has been kept at yours to help
the contact teams adapt.  Mostly?"

"You didn't flinch when I spoke to you as an equal.  A long time
companion dog might stroll across my yard the way you did, but the
average stray dog would have either ducked back into hiding, or run to
me eagerly."

"You're taking this well."

"Been hoping someone would get my message before I died.  Thanks again
for dropping by, but aren't there others *you* need to see as part of
the contact process?"

"It isn't an open contact.  Generally speaking, your people don't have
the right mindset to do well in our culture."

He stiffened, then nodded thoughtfully.  "If it isn't open, why make
contact at all?"

"Two reasons.  Well, no.  There's a third one, but it's a personal
one."

"I'm listening."

"It's always better to recruit, than it is to harvest.  We're not
military, but volunteers are always better at their jobs than
conscripts.  That's true in every culture we've made contact with."

"Ok.  As far as I know, that's true in ours, too."

"The second reason is we feel that with enough local help, we might be
able to establish a hidden colony, that will act to save our tech base
if something happens to our home worlds."

"Makes sense.  You can count on my help, during the brief time I have
left to live."

Her head tilted.  "Brief time?  According to what we know, humans
average seventy to eighty of your years, of productive living.  You're
barely past forty.  In your terms, thirty to forty years is not
'brief'."

He sighed.  "From that, I assume you never bothered to research my
medical history.  I'm dying slowly, but I am dying.  Best estimate is
no more than ten years left."

"Fixable."

He studied her, then nodded.  "Ok.  For now, I'll take your word for
it.  How many more years can you give me, if I decide to pay whatever
price you're planning on asking me to pay?"

"As many as you want."

"Maybe you'd better tell me that personal reason, so I can quit
guessing."

"Like calling to like.  I'm a synth-analyst, and there are so few of
us, we work and live alone."

He finally nodded.  "I see.  Your own people fear you and find you
alien, more alien than they find my people.  You're lonely, and when
you read what I've written, you decided there was no need for that
condition to continue."

"Correct.  Xeno thought you were an isolate, with no influence, and
thus ignored you.  I have hopes that I corrected their tendency to
project *their* values on *your* world-culture."

He laughed briefly at her tartness, then sobered.  "You implied
functional immortality?"

"I did.  Once you are processed, even if your current body is
destroyed in an accident, you can be recreated and returned to the
state of your most recent update."

"How often are these updates?"

"Real time to the ship data banks.  Delay of only a few minutes to the
home world.  Explorers are precious to us, because their skills are
rare.  For the average citizen, the update is daily because of fewer
significant changes in their lives, and they seldom get the
immortality option."

"You imply I will have to travel on your ship."

"True, when it leaves.  Because we are seeking to establish a colony,
the minimum time we will spend here is about 100 of your years, to
assure ourselves the colony is self sustaining and successfully
hidden."

"What will I have to do to earn this immortality?"

"Kiss me as if you love me.  Either end will do."

"I understand, maybe.  You have physical and mental needs?"

"Of course, but the reason you must kiss me is a practical one.  The
replicators will be transferred in my fluids.  Once they realize they
are in a new host, they will respond appropriately and begin the
rebuilding process."

"An enjoyable way to earn immortality.  What job will I be expected to
do as payment?"

"A synth-analyst does as she or he desires, most of the time.  Some
call it meddling, if you weren't consulted first."

"You call it?"

"In your terms, 'keeping aware of the bigger picture and taking a long
term view of things'."

"Are you a multi species culture?"

"Yes."

"Will you be contacting people who aren't zoos?"

"Not this time.  Perhaps, in the future, we will contact others, or
come openly."

"Do you have a preference for which end I kiss first?   Are we
sexually compatible?"

"I am open to new experiences, of course.  We are compatible sexually.
It seems that the two part reproductive system is the usual one for
air breathers."

"Implying there are species for whom it isn't normal?"

"Yes."

He chuckled.  "Then I will eventually kiss both ends as we explore
each other.  Please, be my...  Mate, and make yourself at home.  You
may choose where the activity will take place."

"I choose outside, in these natural surroundings.  I wish to cleanse
my thoughts of ship life."
.
.
.
"I see three entrances.  Which should I use later?"

"The lowest one.  The upper is a storage pouch that contains my
dietary supplements, in a form readily accessible to the replicators.
The middle was for elimination of wastes, originally, and is still
occasionally used for that purpose.  Both are kept closed by the
replicators unless there is need for them to be opened."

He stroked her lightly, as he thought about what she'd told him.  "Is
your fertility also controlled by the replicators?"

"Of course.  They do not interfere with the normal responses of my
body.  What you are doing feels different than what a member of my
species would do, but it is extremely pleasurable.  Continue."

He laughed.  "I shall.  I find the action extremely pleasurable,
also."

It was her turn to laugh.

Eventually he shifted position and tasted her cautiously, then he
decided her taste was pleasant enough, and he suckled her eagerly,
while mostly forgetting she was not a true canid, as he was used to.

The same forgetfulness must have been true for her, because suddenly
she drove herself backwards so powerfully he was pushed to his back.

Her desire was obvious, so he stripped, then, because he had explored
the way with his fingers, he knelt behind her and confidently inserted
himself and started fucking her eagerly.

When he realized he could feel her internal spasms, he lost control,
quickly drove himself to his orgasm and jerked her into his crotch, an
action she assisted by forcing herself backwards at the same time.

They stayed motionless until he loosened his grip and steadied himself
with a hand on her haunch as he lowered himself to the ground, then
stretched out to admire his new lover.

"You proportions are not what I am used to, but taken together, I find
you beautiful."

"Thank you."

She turned and nosed herself, then inhaled deeply, through her nose.

"The odor of your ejaculate is sweeter than what I am used to.  I
suspect many of my people, of both genders, will find the males of
your species quite attractive, orally."

Her tongue touched the semen that was oozing, she lapped eagerly, then
moved to nose his crotch and spend many minutes cleaning him of their
mingled fluids, before she settled with her chin on his chest, and
sighed happily.

"I'm glad we found your world.  Your people and mine will have many
children together."

He frowned while he was petting her.  "Children?  Are we that
compatible?"

"No.  We are not that compatible.  However, we are an old species and
our replicators are very sophisticated.  Once they learn your genetic
patterns, they will be able to modify your sperm and my ova
appropriately, so we may have offspring capable of reproducing
themselves."

"You speak my language well.  Have you been studying us very long?"

"Five years.  I'm glad our translation program works so well.  I do
not know your language, yet.  My replicators are intercepting my nerve
impulses, then using the translation routines to control my vocal
cords and produce the equivalents in your language.  It is something
you will be able to do, once the replicators have learned your body.
The same is done in reverse, of course.  What I receive through my
auditory nerves is not your actual speech, but a translation."

"May I hear your true speech?"

She barked, yipped and groaned briefly, paused, and then spoke in his
language again.  "We sound much like your canines do.  Many of the
emotional tones were missing because I did not wish to stand and add
my body language while speaking."

He chuckled.  "I agree they sound similar, but there is a smoother
flow to your speech, which I assume is because the mind speaking is
more...  Sophisticated."

"Given enough time, many of the species here will become as
'sophisticated' in their thinking.  The replicators could hasten that
process, but we do not intervene in the normal destiny of the world
cultures."

"But you do select individuals for special attention."

"Of course."

"May I know what you said earlier?"

She hesitated, then focused on his face.  "I said I love you with the
love given to true mates, and I hope we spend many normal lifetimes
with each other, unless duty forces us to separate.  I also desire
that those separations be brief, if they happen."

"Thank you.  I don't have your experience, but I feel the desires of a
man who has found his mate, and in my way, I love you.  It is the
shallow love felt by a man new to his mate, and experience tells me it
will deepen over time.  Thank you, for giving me that time with you."

"You're welcome."

"Have you been mated before?"

"No.  I have shared the joining of the bodies to continue my species,
but that was physical, and the pairings were arranged ones.  Never
have I been with a mate who is a mate in the ways of the mind."

He suddenly laughed, then moved so they could share an opened mouth
kiss before he pulled away slightly.

She looked at him.  "You are amused."

"Of course I am.  Our first contact was successful, correct?  A wise
person makes more than one, to be certain the original message and
response were understood correctly.  I wish a second contact, and many
more, so we may be certain we have communicated the nuances as clearly
as we have the surface messages."

She laughed.  "I see.  As you allowed me to choose the first contact,
you may choose the second."

He chuckled.  "Then lie on my stomach, and we will seek further
contact, a contact that is less strenuous, so we may savor the
nuances."

"Our people have much in common.  We too, seek to savor the subtle
aromas of a relationship."

She repositioned herself, he guided himself into her, and they lay
together, speaking with their bodies, until they fell asleep.
---

End: Routine Contact - Introduction
======

This was done as a response to a newsgroup thread.
---

OK, a comment about not understanding the differences between
bestiality and zoophilia is almost guaranteed to bring me out of the
shadows.  :)

Since I feel rather strongly that anyone who writes about it
*damn-well-better-know-the-difference*, I'll attempt an explanation.
---

No, I'm not surprised that common usage by all the porn pedlars has
blurred the distinctions.  And with Mickey-snort redefining the
language as well, confusion is something I expect.  Zoophiles
themselves are not able to agree on a consistent usage.

Be that as it may, I will try to give you some working definitions.
The initial ones are what I use.  They aren't universally shared but
at least they are a good working compromise amongst all the different
viewpoints.

Pre-money-mongers-generally-accepted-usage is as follows:

Bestiality - sex with an animal. (No confusion here - usually.)

Zoophilia - in general use, a deep emotional bond with an animal, can
include a sexual relationship but doesn't have to.

Zoosexual - self-coined within the zoophile 'community' around 1994 to
cover all aspects of zoophilism as a lifestyle and to indicate that
they see their lifestyle in the same way most people view all the
other 'sexualities', be they hetero-, bi- or homo-.

'Zoo' - generic term used within the 'community' (let's not get
involved in a discussion of just what the 'community' is) to cover all
aspects of zoophilia/zoosexuality.

There are other nuances involved here.  If you want to get involved in
a discussion of the clinical definition of zoophilia vs the Mickeysoft
definition...

Zoophile, MS style - A lover of animals, especially one opposed to
vivisection.  (I didn't make that up, it's their definition in
Bookshelf 94 and afaik, the one they still use.)

Zoophilia, MS style - attraction to or affinity for animals. (see
above comment)

Zoophilia from a clinical viewpoint is supposed to include the
involved person having serious emotional problems as a result and also
be unable to perform sexually *except* with an animal.  This is from a
discussion with someone involved in doing a targetted study of
'zoophiles', whatever they might be in actuality.  According to this
person, technically, there is no defined category for those folks who
are emotionally and/or sexually involved with animals and *don't* have
any emotional problems with it.  A case of psychologists being lazy
and lumping people into a category rather than taking the time to
consider there are nuances involved and not everyone fits within one
label.

When talking to many zoophiles, they will use 'bestialist' to indicate
someone who has sex with an animal without regard for his/her feelings
and 'zoophile' to indicate someone who has sex with an animal and who
also takes into consideration the animal's own feelings and desires.

Basically, calling a zoo a bestialist is, within the 'community', one
of the worst insults possible.

Have I confused you even more?

To the general public, bestiality, zoophilia and zoosexuality are all
nothing more than animal fucking.  Like any other sub-culture, there
are nuances that 'outsiders' will have difficulty understanding.
Usually, unless people have a reason to look, they never realize the
distinctions are there.

For practical purposes, when writing, I suggest using my first
definitions.  Using those will at least let folks know you have taken
the time to try and understand the differences.  Context should take
care of any of the rest.

As a trivia note, keep in mind that in the scientific literature, it
is accepted practice to call some species of mosquitos - zoophilic.
<g>

I'll save any discussion of the 'technical details' involved in sex
with animals...

For a different thread.  <vbg>

Note:  To help further indicate the lack of awareness, or
unwillingness to admit there is a difference between zoophila and
bestiality, I found this definition in Dr. Ruth's Sex Encyclopedia,
199x ed.

Dr Ruth's Encyclopedia of sex

"Zoophilia  - also called bestiality, zoophilia means sex with
animals.  While some of the stories about such activities are
mythical, such as Leda and the Swan, it is an activity that does
occur.  In fact, Dr Alfred Kinsey found that a small number of the men
he surveyed had sexual contact with animals, although usually only
once or twice in their lifetimes.  Such practices are not recommended
and often illegal."
====

Dr. Ruth had her blind spots, and I feel this was just one of them.
She made some other, even more absurd statements, of which I feel the
most memorable was her 'observation' that it was typical for a man to
gain one inch of penile length, for every ten pounds of excess weight
he lost.

I'm not making that up!

It's easy enough to personally refute that absurdity, or maybe she'd
use the excuse that my own weight loss wasn't 'typical'.

My length when erect (pre erectile dysfunction) was always between six
to six and one half inches.  At one time I hit a maximum weight of 275
pounds.  After I decided 'enough is enough'. I managed to eventually
get myself down to 200 pounds and keep it in that range for almost a
year, before a medication change took me back to 235-240 pounds, where
it is now stable.

A 75 pound loss converts to seven and half inches of additional
length!  A fourteen inch dick!  Yay!  Look out, *large* animals! (very
tongue in cheek)

Yeah.  Right.  I gained about an inch of usable length, which gave me
back my six and a half inches, because of the pubic area fat loss, but
that was it.

Oh, I also got to *see* my penis without using a mirror, for the first
time in years.

Dr Ruth?  You need some common sense, more knowledge in areas you
don't like, or a better proof reader, (probably all of it), to get
that ego under control.
~~~

Song Festival, November, 2002
Song Flashback zoo/best M-bitch rom 

I've chosen to wrap a story around a song I consider one of the most
evocative I've ever heard.   'Time in a Bottle'--sung by Jim Croce.

I've chosen to mix the lines in as section headers.

This is a work of fiction.  
---

Pathways in My Mind
---

"If I could save time in a bottle"

I gently work us closer together and savor the feel of my mate's fur
against my body as the soothing sounds of 'Time In a Bottle' gently
emerge from the stereo to flow across our cooling bodies.  No matter
how many people sing the song, there is only one singer I will ever
think of as having sung it *right*. 

That singer is Jim Croce. 

I move my head and gently nibble on one of her ears before whispering:
"Hey, lover.  He's singing our song."  

The ear moves slightly as the eye facing me opens to regard me.
Satisfied with what she sees, she closes it and stretches seductively
before going limp again.  From experience I know it's her way of
saying "For that, you disturbed me?"

I walk my fingers down her spine, an action that meets with her
obvious approval.  

"It would have to be a bottle as big as the universe, my love." 

* * *

"The first thing that I'd like to do
Is to save every day
Till Eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you"

I put my fingers on automatic and continue my reflections.  "If I
could save bits of time, even my own, and give them to someone who
deserves them...  I wouldn't hesitate to give them to you--even if it
meant shortening my own life to extend yours."

'Special' doesn't begin to describe what she has become to me.
Companion.  Lover.  Mate.  Partner.  She is all these--and more.  Oh,
she is so much more.

When I first got her, it was a case of both of us picking the other.
It was a large kennel, which meant a large breeding operation.  I
didn't realize it then but that sort of operation almost automatically
fails to provide enough of the loving, caring attention most dogs
need.

When a dog is as 'big-hearted' as she is, there is no way they can get
the amount of love they need.  Thus, even though *I* wasn't aware of
what was happening, I was being judged by the dogs as much as I was
judging them.  Through some sort of winnowing out process she wound up
managing to get my attention and keep it in spite of the other dogs
that were clamoring for it.

Of course, I didn't see it that way those many years ago.

Since then she's made it very clear that just as I can't picture a
life without her, she has no desire to leave me, either.  We both know
there have been plenty of times she could have left me if she wanted
to.  She hasn't--and I treasure her all the more for those decisions.

"Yes, my love.  If I could save those bits of time when  I can't be
with you and then use them to have more time to be in your presence, I
would."

* * *

"If I could make days last forever"

Ever been so in love that the sex becomes a connection between your
resonating souls?  Well, when I orgasm during one of our gentle
sessions, the moment itself is merely a spike in a timeless flow where
she becomes the center of my universe and there is no measurable time.
Seduction, entry, the sex, orgasm and the afterglow all become one
thing, complete.  It's the closest I've been to 'feeling' the concept
of 'forever'.  I'm certain she feels the connection, too.  Why else
would she choose those times to quietly stay with me rather than
bounce away in her usual display of happiness?

Is that timeless time what makes her so aggressive about sex?  Now
that I think about it, she never has that look of resigned acceptance
that most bitches have when they are fucked by a dog.  I've allowed
her to breed and since we have to watch them closely to verify the
mating for the records, I've had many opportunities to study her
expression and body language while she waits for the tie to end.

The first time she was bred I could tell that she was surprised by
what was happening.  She didn't pull away but I suspect that was
because I was right there soothing her and letting her know everything
was as it should be.  Since I was holding her, I could tell when she
orgasmed.  That seemed to make a final connection in her mind and I
felt her total acceptance of the situation.

If you've ever watched dogs think about something, you know that they
all have little movements that let you know how they feel about
whatever it is they are thinking about.  During all her matings I've
watched her movements and they have always been the movements she uses
to indicate she is enjoying herself--the same ones she uses while we
are making love to each other.

As I watch her calmly standing there during the tie, I get a very
distinct impression that she is using the situation to take her into
the timeless flow that she first learned about with me.

And, I'm jealous.  I wish it were that easy for me to do.

* * *

"If words could make wishes come true"

Words and wishes.  How I *wish* for us to be able to fully communicate
with each other. There are times, now rare, when we are both
frustrated because we know we aren't connecting.  On the other hand,
there are times I know she wishes she could fully communicate her love
and support.  She tries.  A soft whine and a gentle touch of a paw let
me know that she knows my day has been worse than usual and she wants
to help.  But, no matter how well we communicate now, we share the
pain of wanting more.

Family.  I guess this one is a wash.  She's had puppies several times.
I suspect that she considers me their father.  I feel that way--but,
at the same time, I know, deep down, that I am only a step-father.
It's not enough.  I want to be the genetic father of our 'kids'.

This must be my last wish because I can't think of any others.  It's
the most important.  Please, oh please...  If there is kindness out
there to be given...

Extend her lifespan so it matches mine. 

* * *

"I'd save every day like a treasure and then,
Again, I would spend them with you"

"Immortality, shared with you, my dearest one--would be a gift beyond
my most selfish dreams."

I reach out to lightly stroke the sleeping one.  Her feet twitch,
there is a muffled woof and I know she is dreaming.  Her tail wags in
short, vigorous strokes, as if inviting play.  I see her canine grin
of enjoyment.  Is she dreaming of us?  It doesn't matter.  I delight
in knowing she is as happy in her dreams as she is in everyday life.

If I had to give one overriding reason for wanting to be with her
forever, it would be the joy she shares with me every day.

* * *

"But there never seems to be enough time"

I gently run my hand along her side.

The working man's curse.  Time.  Time pissed away at a job that is
well paying but no challenge, a dead end that averages an hour's drive
from here.  Ten to twelve hours a day, five days a week, fifty weeks
out of the year I am unable to be in her presence or where she can
keep track of me.   Add the time it takes me to get ready and the time
it takes to unwind and it becomes a solid twelve hours a day that I
cannot devote to *her*.  Sleep and the preparations for it consume
another eight to nine hours a day.  When I include shopping and other
things that demand my time, we spend well less than one third of our
lives doing things we can do together.  It's frustrating and more than
enough to let me know that it isn't enough.  In her way, she's made it
clear that she doesn't care for the situation either.

* * *

"To do the things you want to do
Once you find them"

Her presence calms me.  If only I could have her with me at work, and
on those drives to and from work, I wouldn't feel as stressed as I
usually do and my recovery time once home would be a lot faster.  That
would make our time together even more enjoyable because she wouldn't
have to spend as much time waiting for me to unwind.

I don't see society ever changing enough to let us openly be the
partners we truly are.  Most people have partners, human partners,
that they can be with anytime they do the casual things that mean so
much to a relationship.  Finding my completion with her has taken that
away from me.

"Are you listening?  Add 'change society's values' to my wish list.
Place it second."

* * *

"I've been around enough to know
That you're the one I want to go
Through time with."

I've had other bitches in my life and each one was special in her own
way.  There have even been a few relationships with women.  After each
one ended, for whatever reasons, I knew I could go on.  Continuing my
life after *she* is gone--will be the hardest thing I've ever done.

"Hello?  Are you still listening?  What sort of pervert are you to
create people who have to live *knowing* they will outlive their
life-mates?  Hell on Earth.  Well, I've got news for you.  If you send
me to Hell and try this again--I'll survive to laugh in your face and
curse your 'generosity'!"

* * *

"If I had a box just for wishes
And dreams that had never come true"

Thinking about the way I'd like to have things is nice--but it's still
just fantasy.  I'm too pragmatic, I guess, so the reality is that I've
accepted things the way they are and never seriously wished for the
things that would make our relationship exactly equal to a human-human
one.

We are what we are and it's based on what we've already lived though.
We've made decisions, mostly good ones, and we somehow manage to find
new ways to make our relationship deeper.  So,  the wishes for more
are fleeting rather than ones I hold all the time.  

This is the world I live in--and it made me what I am now.  Change
that, and it would change me.  From here, the odds of any changes
being better--look slim.

"Thanks for asking--but I'll stand pat."

* * *

"The box would be empty
Except for the memory
Of how they were answered by you"

Yes.  Without you, I am incomplete, unsatisfied.  With you, I am
complete.  Nobody can take that away from me without destroying me.

"Indeed, my love, if I am ever forced to have only one memory, and I
get to choose it, the one I keep will be of us--and what we meant to
each other."

* * *

"But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them"

I know that because of her shorter lifespan and my having to live and
work in a human world that makes no concessions to non-human
life-mates, our time in each other's presence will be less than if we
were human partners.  Because of that I make a special effort to bend
my path so it shares hers as much as possible when we *are* together.
It means not doing some things I'd like to do but life with her is a
known quantity, filled with our love for each other.  I don't want to
reach for a nebulous 'maybe' when it means keeping us apart even more.
She's committed herself to traveling through life at my side.

I can do no less for her.

* * *

"I've looked around enough to know
That you're the one I want to go
Through time with"

"Hey, beautiful."  The ear perks and the eye opens.  My hands drift to
her haunches and gently shift her so we are aligned.  My entry is
lubricated by the fluids left from our first time tonight.  Instead of
moving, I stop once I am fully inside her.  Once I have wrapped my
arms around her I move my head slightly and smile as she meets my lips
halfway.  We share a kiss, relax--and pursue our dreams.
~~~

  ASSTR Aniversary - Blanket Festival   IMAGE   Zoo, flash
---

Willing Wantons
---

Callie had settled on 'her' blanket and refused to budge when Traci
picked up an edge and tried to roll her off so she could wash it.  My
normal 'I love it when you two fight over her blanket on wash day'
followed by my impulsive 'I don't know which of you is sexier' comment
had inspired Traci's sudden switch to using the blanket as part of her
'willing wanton' act.

Callie must have smelled Traci's mood shift because she looked at me,
groaned loudly, stretched her legs out to her side then casually
rolled  on her back and let her tail relax so she could give me a good
look at  her vulva.

I grinned.  "Forget the washing.  Let's fuck."

"Good plan."  Traci dropped the blanket and sauntered down the hallway
with Callie beside her.   Callie went through the door but Traci
paused and looked back over her shoulder.  "Well?"

"I'm coming!"

Traci smirked.  "Not yet--but you will be!"
~~~

Challenge:  Make and ordinary event seem erotic
---

"But, Alexis, you know I prefer to try and get others to see what I
see..."  TBD eyes the firmly held ruler and the impatiently tapping
foot before sighing deeply, resignedly...  "OK.  I'll give it a shot.
Just remember, I warned you..."
--


My head turns slightly to the left, and down, so I can look across the
top of my glasses to see what time it is.  'It's time.'  The thought
is comfortable, routine--and an excuse to slide the keboard tray under
my desk.

My head tilts slightly to the right and I deliberately tense my neck
muscles as I turn even further to the left.  I feel the ecstasy of
vanishing tension when I finish the turn and let my neck muscles
relax.  My smile is soft and filling with inner peace as my left arm
shifts so my fingers slowly caress the amazing creature that shares my
life.

His eyes open.  My fingers rub the fur just below and in front of his
left ear.  We smile at each other.  "Ready to go out?"  As he gets up,
I slowly lean backwards in my chair.  Tense muscles stretch and then
sullenly give way to relaxation.  Hands behind my head, I force my
arms backwards--and more muscles grudgingly, resentfully, agree that
they were designed for movement--not as structural reinforcement.

My slow groan of pleasure is matched by a similar one to my left. *He*
decided to stretch while he was waiting for me to move out of his way.

The warm fabric on my chair leaves a lingering trail of softness as it
slides along my legs when I stand.  As soon as I roll the chair under
the desk, he jumps down from the bed and I feel his fur as it slides
across my ass.  The well worn fabric of my robe, as it contacts my
body, is the soft kiss of familiarity as it prepares me for yet
another forray into the 'great outdoors'.

When I walk to the door, my robe lightly strokes the outsides of my
legs while my inner thighs slide across each other to remind me that
other than the robe, I am naked.  I arrive at my first destination, to
be greated by an impatient look.  The few seconds I took to get there
were far too many.  Laghing softly, I reach for the lever and let my
fingers touch its metalic smoothness.  I push downward firmly.  There
is the usual muffled 'click' as the latch retracts.   

He pushes firmly with his nose and the door slams open.

Freedom!

Sunlight warms me as I step outside and pause to let my eyes adjust.
*He* has vanished, probably to take care of his own business before he
rejoins me as I make my slow journey across the yard.

Languidly, my mind mostly elsewhere, I savor all the sensations that
touch me as I make my way to the front gate.  A cold, wet nose
suddenly makes its way under the edge of my robe to press firmly
against the back of my leg.  "I have returned, and you are moving too
slowly to suit me."

We look at each other and share grins.  "Quit pushing.  Dog."  

His grin gets bigger.

I get my keys out, unlock the gate, open it and slowly pass through
the opening.  He settles and waits for my return.

A few more steps and I reach up, pull open the small door that is
before me, then smile wryly before I turn to look at him.  "No mail
today.  Looks like we wasted our time."

When I get back inside the yard and close the gate, I am greeted with
all the enthusiasm of a lover who hasn't seen his partner in far too
long.

I bend down slightly as he stands up to let me hold his front legs. We
nuzzle each other and his happy licks force me to reconsider.

"OK.  Maybe it *wasn't* a wasted trip."
~~~

Ok.  I'm dating myself quite a bit, with this one...

This is my 'Flash!' story for the alt.sex.stories.moderated one year
aniversary celebration that took place on November 10, 2000.
---

Deja Vu
---

I felt...

Accepted.

I turned my head, my blue eyes met your brown ones - and there was a
silent commitment.

Us.

I reached and as my hand came up, your nose slowly nodded into it.

With a gentle touch, our souls merged.

A different body.  The same soul.  Ten years after we said our
farewells, you returned.  It was as if you knew that someday I would
need your gentle wisdom to help me through life again.

Your new body was unfamiliar to the ways of the flesh even though the
mind that controlled it knew what was to come.  Patiently, knowing the
future to be, the two of us taught your new body what our minds
already knew.

It is time.

You laugh and turn away from me.  You shift your tail and reveal
yourself.

"Come to me.  Dance with me.  Make love to me..."

"Again."

I bend forward and gently run my hands along your sides.  Long
forgotten signals are remembered and given to you - my lover.

Just as you did then, you respond with the signals that you so often
used to tell me of your love and readiness - for me.

Eagerness arches your neck.  The air is filled with the scent of your
desires.

I kneel slightly. I close my eyes.  With the experience of our years
together I align my penis with your vulva - and gently return to our
past.

I slide home on the slipperiness of your fluids.  When I am fully
sheathed, I open my eyes and watch as your head tilts backwards so
your gentle eyes are able to fill my soul with your love.

Before I move within you, we take the time to remember past joys.

Memories.

Memories that become the present.

As I begin the movements that tell you of the future we will build
together, you lower your head and begin to pant as your pleasure
rises.

Slowly, steadily, passionately...

I take us to the peaks of times past.

Before I pulse, I feel your inner muscles quiver and then suddenly
tighten around me.  The way of remembered love becomes more difficult
to travel.

My thrusts become filled with a driven need as we continue to travel
that familiar trail - together.

I peak!

Pleasure overwhelms me as I spasm.

My inner essence flows into your body along with the liquid statement
of my love for you.

Your strong legs tense and take up the familiar burden of my spent
body when my orgasm is over.

The destination we eagerly sought - has been reached again.

My strength begins to return.  I brace myself and push against you as
I rise.  I feel your body sag slightly before you flex your powerful
legs and help push me upright.

I kneel beside you and let my hands flow along your sides in a gentle
benediction.

"Welcome back."

"I've missed you."
~~~

End: Zoo/Best Purpose Written Work
======

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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