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Subject: {ASSM} The Taste of her Smile: One concept, two stories (M-bitch, zoo, best), (MF cons) TBD
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Date: Sun, 15 Apr 2012 16:10:04 -0400
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The Taste of her Smile: One concept, two stories (M-bitch, zoo, best),
(MF cons)
---
Funny how a jesting comment can backfire on a person.

Put two writers together and almost inevitably, someone will start a
thread about stories, how they are inspired, what they like and
dislike...

Or, in this case, random talk about inspiration and 'good story
titles'.

(M-bitch, zoo, best)
---

The Taste of Her Smile
Version one - Zoophilic - M/bitch
---

The smell
Of her fur

In my mind.
She'll always...

Be there.

Wise eyes.
That know.

Her body speaks
Of love...

And us.

Lovers.
Mate.

She is one.
Who reaffirms...

Love is rewarded with love

As life
Goes on.

One thing
Is certain.

I will always remember...

The taste of her smile.
---

So it begins.  This journey into memories.

She wasn't smiling when we first met.

Obviously an abuse victim, she would cringe and pee at anyone's
slightest movement.

"I'm sorry I moved.  I know it's wrong."  I could see it in her eyes.
The people who had her will never know the red, red rage I held in
that day.

Many shivering minutes later, after gentle words and much motionless
sitting on the dirt...  Eyes filled with fear looked into mine and
asked me some questions.  "Can I trust you?  Will you be like all the
others?  Will you gain my cautious trust and then, callously destroy
my heart?"

My smile and quiet words do nothing to destroy the moment. Without
looking at the people, I accept her gift.

"I'll take her."  My leash comes out of my pocket and I soothe her as
I make the switch from theirs to mine.  A few papers are handed over
as the four of us walk to my car.  Medical records are all they are.
She is a mixed breed but beautiful in spite of her heritage.

'Mixed breed dog, female, free' and a phone number was all the ad
said.

Perhaps.  But not free of that cruelest of all punishments. Emotional
abuse and betrayal of her trust.

As I drove home, I had a shivering head in my lap.  I knew she
wouldn't understand that my rage was not directed at her - so, for her
sake, I let none of my inner anger show.

She panicked at a friend's house when she thought I was going to leave
her.

I could feel her unbounded joy when I let her back into the car and
she realized I wasn't going to betray her trust.

She *knew* it was *her* car now.

That was the first time I saw her smile.

As we shared the rest of the trip home, I could feel her joy as she
started to realize she had a home with someone who cared for her.

Now, years later. The smile has pretty much changed to a permanent
grin.

She knows.

I know.

*We* know.

I could bore you with the details of those early months.  Slow
movements.  Gentle words of encouragement.

For months she slept with her head literally pushed under my shoulder
at night or with her head against mine.  Close?  She was closer than
my shadow.  After all, at night, a shadow vanishes into the darkness.

With us it was the time to build the bridges that would come to span
our lives.

The first time my light touch did not cause her to wake in shivering
terror, I knew we had reached the most important milestone in our
relationship.

She trusted me.

I have other equally joyous memories from those early days.  The slow
changes as she went from being afraid to leave my side -  to eager
willingness to explore wherever we happened to be.

It seemed forever before a quiet 'Go!' and the wave of a hand would
send her bouncing away in happy curiosity.

Now her almost arrogant self-assurance has me teasing her as she romps
or demands attention.  "Shy!  Timid!  Remember?"  The words fall on
deaf ears.  Those days are gone.  Sometimes I see the memories start
to surface.  A gentle word or two, my hands still her shivers - and we
go on.  Thankfully, those times are happening less often than they
used to.

In those early months, we became the mutual centers of our shared
journey into the future.

I won't deny the early months were sometimes frustrating.  I had
dreams.  Desires.  All held in check while we established our
relationship.

Her emotional and physical well-being was and is my primary concern.
Any physical merging would come as she chose.  If ever. It would not
have been the first time a partner was not interested in sexual
fulfillment.

Curious sniffing and investigation on her part became slightly more as
she realized I  enjoyed such actions.

It was months before she would let me pet and examine any part of her
body.  Even if you forget about any sexual contact, there is a valid
reason for wanting her to allow intimate examination. Foxtails.  Grass
and weed seeds that can get started in her vulva or ears.  There have
been many times over the years that I have discovered such and removed
them before they worked their way deeper.  Such examination has become
routine after a romp in a field.

No, I do not perform such in public.  I wait until we are private
before doing more than a visual exam.

There were months of preparation before we, at long last, completed
our union of souls on that ultimate and final level.  Our first sexual
joining was a simple act physically - yet, it was profound step for us
both on the emotional level.  The final step to trust on a level few
know - had been taken.

It always amazes me that people never noticed how our bitch/owner
relationship at last became lifemates/partners.

The only comments were 'How devoted she is to you.  You and she are
really close to each other aren't you?'.  Ironically, those were
things I had heard almost from the beginning.

My smile and laughter.  "Oh yes.  It took a lot of work but she's no
longer the terrified bitch I brought home, is she?  I mean a lot to
her.  But then she helped me at the same time.  That makes a special
bond between us."

Memories. So many memories.

With that, I return to the present.  It is evening and we are in bed.

I say her name softly.  Ears move and then her eyes open to study me
from where she lies next to me.

I rub her in the way I use to let her know my desires.  I give her the
chance to decide if  we will do more than sleep together.

Her legs spread as she rolls to her back in invitation.  This is her
signal to me that she is willing to let me seduce her.

I chuckle softly.  Already naked, I shift so that I lean against the
wall.  I pet her between her hind legs and slowly and lightly scratch
my way to her vulva.

I am rewarded with even more relaxation.  Gently I draw her around so
she is nestled between my outstretched legs.

Totally limp, she groans softly as I return to scratching along her
belly and then to where her legs join her body.

Her tail has fallen to one side.  My penis, now stiff, rests against
her vulva.  Fur and soft flesh are warm against me.

Inner heat rises as I let desire move my hands.  I feel twitching as
her body begins to respond to my touch.

At long last, I reach for the lubricant.  I apply some to her
treasured opening.  Not much.  A small dab.  I know that she is moist
within and I need only supply enough to coat myself so my entry does
not cause friction and pain.

One hand still lightly traces along her body as I apply the head of my
now throbbing member to the dab of lube and then use it to coat her
lips.

Once that is done, I let go and use a finger to finish coating my tip
and part of my shaft.

Our shared experience lets me align myself for entry.  As I start my
entry, I can feel her heat.

Wise in the ways of this position, I gently pull her to my pubes until
I am fully sheathed.

Connected in this most intimate of ways, I return to gently stroking
her stomach.  Muscles quiver along my length.  I take time to work my
hands slightly under her and draw my fingertips along either side of
her spine.

The quivering intensifies to spasms.

She turns her head sideways so we can make eye contact.

Her relaxed smile is unmistakable.

I have no idea how long we spend like this.  I am totally focussed on
her and where our bodies are joined.

Eventually, she tells me she has had enough and she works herself
free.

I am languid.  She is all nervous energy.  She gives herself a few
cursory licks and then turns to me.

She uses eager  and forceful nosings as she cleans our mingled fluids
from me.  I reach and shift my penis to make it easier for her. As I
move it, she carefully cleans what I expose.

Finally, she is satisfied and settles to finish her own ablutions.

There is one more part to our ritual.

I get off the bed and turn to pull her so her hindquarters are near
the edge.  I lightly stroke her body for a time.  Flat on her back,
her wide open legs are an invitation.

With the skill born of doing something many times, I  reverently kneel
at the edge of the bed and begin to clean  her nether lips with the
same gentleness and attention she gave to my penis.

I am lost to time as I do this.

Eventually, I look up and my eyes meet hers as she turns her head to
watch what I am doing.

Souls meet.

Deeply in love, I enjoy...

The taste of her smile.
======

note:  This contains all three of the sections posted to ASSM and ASS.
---

(MF cons)
---

The Taste of Her Smile
Version two - Heterosexual
---

The smell
Of her hair

In my mind.
She'll always...

Be there.

Wise eyes.
That know.

Her body speaks
Of love...

And us.

Lovers.
Mate.

She is one.
Who reaffirms...

Love is rewarded with love

As life
Goes on.

One thing
Is certain.

I will always remember...

The taste of her smile.
---

So it begins.  This journey into memories.

How can I explain what happened to bring us together?

I can't.

All I can do is tell the tale and hope you begin to understand what
happened.

Twenty years ago, I was walking through a park.

I needed to forget the previous night.  The woman I thought I loved
had told me she never cared for me.  She told me that she had met the
man of her dreams and was planning to marry him come summertime.

So, unable to sleep past dawn, I headed for our park and tried to
forget the bittersweet taste of Melanie's false smile of condolences.

"Sir?  Oh Sir?  Could you please help me?" The female voice was as
young as my own.

I looked up to see an embarrassed smile.  Her problem was obvious.
Several dogs had managed to wrap their leashes around her legs and she
stood there unable to move.

Vaguely, I remembered seeing her before.

"Sure." I couldn't help my wry smile.  "No problem.  I wasn't doing
anything I can't forget about.  for awhile."

"I'm Mike." I got a slightly stiff nod in return.

"Kira.  I'm supposed to be walking them." She gestured helplessly with
the hand that wasn't holding the common leash.  "You're the first
person I've seen this morning.  I was afraid I'd never get them home
on time."

"I can't afford to lose the money." Her voice was tinged with fear as
she said this.  Briefly, I wondered why she was so worried.

My brief worry was forgotten as the two of us untangled the dogs.  I
was surprised at how well behaved they were during all of our fumbling
efforts.

"One person owns all of them," Kira smiled wryly.  "I never walk dogs
together who don't already know each other."

"Ahhh...  That explains it." She looked at me with curiosity in her
deep blue eyes.  "Melanie and I always wondered why you seemed to have
so many dogs."

Now why did I notice Kira's eye color?  After two years, I still
couldn't remember Melanie's.

Kira tilted her head slightly as she studied me.  "Problems?" Her
voice was gentle.

I jerked my eyes back to her face.  "How?...

"Yes." I whispered it dejectedly as I started to turn away.

I felt a light touch my shoulder as she gently turned me back to face
her.  "I've watched you for a long time."

She looked away and then back.  "Sometimes a woman knows things.  I
saw it start several months ago.  I hoped I was wrong but..." She
bowed her head as she took a deep breath.  "She was using you."

"I know that.  Now." I couldn't help my bitter tones.

I never asked myself, then, how come I was so willing to unload on
Kira. Looking back, I think I was so far down that I would have poured
out my bitterness to anyone who showed the slightest interest that
morning.

I started to leave once again and felt my legs refuse to move. Looking
down, I discovered both of us were tangled in the leashes that had so
recently been wrapped about Kira's legs.

Canine grins looked up at us.  "Need some help?" Her smile was
infectious.

"I think I can untangle us." Then I blurted some words that were
unbidden but somehow right.  "From the dogs anyway."

There was a long and slightly embarrassed silence.  Then Kira smiled.
"I think I'd like that." There was a warmth to her smile that I'd
never known a woman could have.

We were close enough so I could lean forward and brush her lips with
mine.

That was the first time I tasted Kira's smile.

It definitely wasn't the last.

The rest of that week, we met at the edge of the park and then visited
as she walked the dogs for their morning exercise.

My casual comment that I enjoyed weekend day trips to the nearby
mountains made her eyes light with that same inner warmth I had seen
the day we first met.  At her wistful look, I impulsively asked her if
she'd like to join me.

"Yes." Then she looked at me oddly.  "On one condition."

I braced myself for whatever she had to say.

"I want to be with you.  Together."

I gaped at her.  Was she saying what I thought she was saying?

"Together?  As in?..." I couldn't finish it.  So much for my
worldliness.

"Yes."

I stared at her until I realized what I was doing.  I looked away.  I
hadn't thought of the two of us in sexual terms.  I saw Kira as a
friend. More?  I wasn't sure.

"Are you sure?" I knew it sounded stupid even as I said it.  Here I
was, 23, reasonably horny after losing a recent sex partner...

And now I was asking a woman if she was sure she wanted sex with me
-*after* she had insisted on it.

"Never mind." I finished the thought out loud before she could find a
polite answer that wouldn't embarrass both of us.

I smiled through my receding blush.  "Meet you at our usual place and
time tomorrow morning.  I'll bring the tent and other camping gear.
Bring whatever you feel you need and can carry."

She nodded and then hugged me in thanks.

This time she was the one who leaned forward.

That was the second time I tasted her smile.  It was much better than
the first time.

--

My wave was returned with a smile and a wave on her part.

This was the first time I had seen her able to move freely.  Her
limber stride was, I had to admit, sensuous and having its effect on
me already.

Her backpack had that well used look to it.  Her clothes were of the
practical type and I noticed almost absently that she carried herself
with the ease that comes of experience.

As she got closer, I realized that she was no beginner I would have to
patiently watch over.

Now that things were sort of in the open, I hurried to meet her.  Her
smile welcomed me.  I couldn't resist a kiss as we met.

"Done this before?" I teased.

"You bet!" She hugged me close and glued her lips to mine.  I nearly
overbalanced as she leaned into me.  That pack had some definite heft
to it.

Eventually we separated and walked hand in hand to my car.

Kira unbuckled the support belt, turned her back to me and shrugged
her pack into my waiting hands.  I almost dropped it because I wasn't
expecting the weight.

She must have heard my soft grunt of surprise.

"I forgot to warn you.  I haven't used it in a long time so I decided
to carry it as is rather than repack it with just what I would need
for this weekend." Her voice was smiling and not a bit contrite. Well,
I already knew she was different than what I was used to in a woman.

Weekend?  Interesting.  That wasn't what *I* had suggested.

After we got in the car she reached over and lightly placed a hand on
my leg.

"Mike?"

"Yes?"

"I have a confession to make." Her voice was soft but firm.  Our eyes
locked.

"I pushed you into this.  I know that.  I'm using you." She blushed.
"As a friend would use a friend."

I nodded slowly and waited.

"I've wanted to know you as a friend ever since I first saw you.  Once
we had a chance to talk, I wanted more.

"Can you understand that?"

I didn't answer right away.  I started the car and drove for a few
minutes before I dared to let myself speak.

"You're honest about it anyway.  When I saw you walking across the
park, I realized how sexy you are."

As I turned onto the freeway, I fell silent until we were safely on
our way.  Her hand had never left my leg.  Now, I reached down and
placed my hand on hers.

"Had things been 'normal', I would be the one using you.  I'm honest
enough to admit that.

"So, yeah, I can understand part of it." I hesitated.

"You know what scares me?" I watched the road for a while as she
waited for me to finish.

"What?" It was a whisper.

"I think I love you." I felt her hand tighten on my leg and then
relax.

For the rest of the trip, we compared notes on what hiking and camping
we had done.  I felt like a beginner by the time we got to the
trailhead. She was that experienced.  I'd done some hiking and camping
in my spare time but Melanie was never interested so after I met her,
all I had done were day hikes.

Kira had actually spent time as a camp counselor for a youth group.
The outdoors was in her family's blood.

Since we had decided to use my gear for as much as we could, she left
me alone as I set up camp.  By noon, everything was ready.

With a slightly bemused smile, I watched as she entered the tent. Once
inside, she turned around to look out the door.  Her dazzling smile
spoke all that needed to be said.

Still in a state of diffused awareness, I knelt down and started to
join her.

Her lips met mine and a gentle spark seemed to flow between us.

Shaken by the intensity of my new feelings, I joined my lover.

Parts of the rest of that day stand out in stark clarity.  Others are
a blur.  Some parts I have to assume happened since the parts I do
remember would make no sense otherwise.

I know we took our clothes off before we made love.  I vaguely
remember helping her remove her clothes.  I also remember her hands
trembling as they helped remove mine.

The trembling wasn't fear.  It was suppressed urgency.

I remember kissing her once we were fully naked.  A kiss that somehow
became filled with urgent gusts of breath as we explored each other's
bodies.

I remember commenting on her musky perfume.  Her gentle laughter as
she told me she wasn't wearing any.  It was all natural.

My god it was heady.  Lust.  Love.  Tender.  I hadn't known a woman
could smell so...

Female.

There was little finesse to our rut the first time.  We coupled.  I
drove into her and I think she drove herself on me.  However it
happened, I spasmed before she did.  She soothed me.

"It's ok." I remember that.  "We have plenty of time.  I got what you
needed." It wasn't until later, as we lay covered in sweat and
surrounded by the scent of lust that I thought about what she had
said.

When I tried to apologize for how unthinking I had been, she laid a
finger across my lips.

"It had to happen this way." That was all she has ever said on the
matter.

I *think* she was as frantically driven as I had been.  I was so
wrapped up in myself that I don't remember.  Kira has never spoken of
it.

With the edge off of our shared lust, the rest of the day became
gentle loving.  Voyages of discovery as we explored each other.

I've never understood why some men refuse to kiss and clean a woman
they've just made love to.  For me, it's a natural thing to do.

The action says something that can be said in no other way.  I enjoy
the taste of a woman.  I love the smell of her when she has just
finished sex.

There's something in me that wants to emphasize the fact I see our sex
as more than me leaving some fluid inside her body and seeking my
pleasure.

Oral sex after normal sex is how I tell her what I feel for her.

I could feel Kira's surprise as I shifted to place my face between her
legs.  I looked up at her and saw what seemed to be fear mingled with
joy.

"Well?" My question was softly spoken.

She seemed frozen in indecision at first.  Then, she closed her eyes.
I felt her hands reach to cradle my head.

"Yes." It was a whisper.  "Oh yes!" It was still a whisper but now her
eyes were open and she released my head.

I bent my head and my lips touched her in a gentle kiss.

Now, truly, I learned the taste of her smile.

My warm breath flowed across her as I opened my mouth and covered her.
My tongue gently probed and searched for our mingled leavings.  My
hands worked their way under Kira and lifted her so I could pressure
myself into her.  Firmly, gently, I lost all track of time as I
savored what was freely given and so eagerly received.

I returned to hands vainly trying to push me away and her quiet
laughter as she realized the hopelessness of making me stop pleasuring
her.

It was the most natural thing in the world for me to slowly slide
along her body until we could kiss each other.

Words?  Did we speak to each other during all this?  I don't remember
any.  I remember speaking the language of 'feel'.  Bodies that sought
each other as naturally as opposite poles of magnets.  I remember
hands tracing curves and hollows.  Fingers learning the taste of the
other person.

Gasps as one of us would discover a spot that sent intense spasms of
pleasure through our partner.

One of us, I don't remember who, pulled one of the sleeping bags over
us before we fell into an exhausted yet completely fulfilled slumber.

Just before we drifted off completely, I think one or both of us
whispered a gentle "yes".

To the best of my recollection, neither one of us ever asked the
question.

I never felt the need to get a spoken answer anyway.

The taste of her smile was the only answer I wanted.
---

part 2 - Moonlight Massage
---

A random comment after we awoke sent us scurrying for the tent door.
We discovered we both have a passion for outdoor sex.

Giggling like naughty children, we hauled the open sleeping bags
outside the tent.  Once we found a clear spot, we spread one of them
out and collapsed on it.  The other was nearby for later use.

"On your belly." Kira commanded me.

Once in I was in position, She straddled me and began a slow, sensuous
massage.

"Mmmm...  You have a lover's touch.  Did you know that?" I was almost
ready to fall asleep as a result of her tender manipulations and the
relaxed afterglow remaining from our earlier activities.

"I should." I could hear the suppressed mirth.  She lightly slapped
one buttock.  I tensed and then relaxed as her fingers gently probed
my crack and then moved to stroke my ballsack.

We couldn't have ordered better weather.  A clear night.  Lots of
stars. The moon is overhead and almost full.

The moon's gentle radiance bathes us in a special glow that matches
the glow we feel from merging our souls.

Plus, a minor miracle I would never dare to order.  No wind.  Not even
a *breath* of a breeze.

"Love under the stars," I murmur.  Kira hears me anyway.

"Yes." It is a whisper that barely reaches my ears.

"Love." That word is an uncertain gust of breath as it leaves her.  I
puzzle briefly at her tones.  She sounds - questioning?  Is she
tasting the word to see if it is right?

I feel her shift her weight and then she pauses in her movements.

There is a long silence.  Long enough to start me worrying.  As I
shift slightly to turn over, I feel her hand gently apply pressure to
the middle of my back.

"No." Her voice is sad.

"Not yet." She starts massaging me again.

I sense she isn't really here.  Her hands 'wander at random'.  That's
the only way I can describe her movements.  Her fingers press and
release but they do not do so in response to my body.

Her body starts shaking.  I hear her breath catch.  Something cold
drips on my back.  She's crying.

This time, when I try to roll onto my back, she doesn't stop me.

"Kira?"

She falls forward.  My face is covered with her hair and then her lips
seek and clamp to mine.

She pulls back slightly.

"Hold me - don't say anything, just hold me." Then she kisses me
lightly and collapses on top of me.

I wrap my arms around her and feel her sobs slow.  After awhile, her
breathing evens and I realize she has fallen asleep.

Gazing up at the stars, I hold her.

I watch the moon wend her way to the horizon and never fully realize I
have drifted into an exhausted sleep.

My dream is a familiar one.  Melanie is lightly teasing me into
hardness before straddling me.

I smile as I look up at the stars.

Stars?

Stars!

Memories flood my awareness.

"Kira!"

Closely trimmed nails lightly trail along my sack and then wander up
either side of my crotch.

I shiver at the feathery touch that is not quite pain.

"Mmmm..." Kira hums her response along my penis.  She uses one hand to
lightly push against me when I start to shift.  I settle back to see
what happens next.

I briefly think, 'Melanie was never like this', then sensation
overwhelms me and there is no Melanie.

No past.

There is only Kira.

An eternal now.

I see no future that doesn't have Kira in it.

Lips touch my tip as fingers support me.

There is a wet sliding that includes her tongue as it searches along
my length.

Withdrawal.

I can't suppress my moan as she pulls away.

A breath of wind as she purses her lips and blows lightly.

I arch my hips in vain as I try to resheath myself.

A hand slithers between my legs and works so it cups me.

Fingers shift and one slowly works its way downward.

I arch slightly in response.  I spread my legs farther apart.

My breathing quickens.

I feel a finger probe.  It teases its way inside as lips are returned
to engulf me again.

Wet lips meet matted hair.

The welcome intrusion of her finger shifts slightly to generate
pressure. She starts to massage me from the inside.

I feel her lips slide up and down my now throbbing shaft.  Each
downward slide is followed by a pause as she kisses me gently.

More quickly than I would have believed possible, I grunt, arch my
hips upward and feel my fluid pulsate along my length.

The spurting seems endless as Kira's finger and lips work to drain me.

Magic.

I feel lightheaded as I fall back.  Kira has drained me beyond
anything I can remember.

Dimly, as I start to become aware of more than my exhaustion, I
realize that I'm hard again.  Once again, I am charged with sexual
urgency.

Kira's lips and finger have combined to regenerate me before I thought
possible.

Is it Kira who is doing this to me?  The newness of our sex?  Her
skill?

Does it matter?  Yes, it matters.  I want it to be mostly Kira.

Will I ever be certain?  Someday.  Maybe.

As if she senses my decision, Kira moves to straddle me.

Her move feels right.  I don't feel 'dominated' as I did when Melanie
and I made love in this position.

"Wait." I whisper it as she reaches for me.

I shift my hands.  One joins hers on my penis.  The other reaches to
lightly trace her lower lips.

My finger dips in to taste the wetness it finds there.  I pull it out
and bring it to my lips.

I taste it.

I savor that taste.

I look into blue eyes.

I smile and whisper - "Now".

Together, we hold my penis as she starts engulfing it.

Once we feel my tip securely lodged within her, we pause and pull our
hands away.

Without warning, her powerful legs relax and she buries me to the
hilt.

"Unnnggh!" My breath is driven from me.

Carefully, slowly, we find our rhythm.

Pubes slam together and the cool air caresses us as we draw apart.

I manage to shift myself slightly forward so that my length rubs along
her clitoris as we move.

Inner muscles begin to spasm more frequently.

Then, without any warning, she gasps and I feel painfully squeezed.

I spasm in my own orgasm and pull her downwards.  My spurts are
actually painful as her clenched muscles almost stop my seed from
leaving my body. Her pressure wraps me and I distinctly feel each
pulse flow along my length as I empty myself.

Soon, far too soon, it is over.

Once again, Kira falls forward and we kiss.

Reluctantly, we shift position so we are on our sides.  Kira reaches
down and manages to stuff my now softening member back inside her.

Eagerly, I pull us together so that even when I soften, we will remain
together.

I use my top hand to reach for the second sleeping bag.  We cover
ourselves with it.

Languid, spent, our combined heat serves to warm us as we hold each
other and fall asleep.

Twice we awaken and make gentle love before falling asleep again. Each
time, we remain coupled.

It is the urgent demands of our bodies that finally forces us to
separate.  Morning duties finished, we put on our robes and settle
before a small fire to cook breakfast.

Now, Kira's 'weekend' makes sense.

I'm drained.  Exhausted.  Quivering with suppressed energy.  Complete.
Scared.  Nervous.  Uncertain.  Confident.

My emotions are as chaotic as the eggs I'm scrambling.

As we sit on opposite sides of the picnic table and study each other
while we eat, I can't help wondering if I'm going to go through what
happened with Melanie.

"I could be using you." Kira seems to read my mind.  Well, that
answers one question.  Melanie was never that honest.  Too bad I
didn't see it at the beginning of our relationship.

I finish eating before I comment.  "You could be." I move my plate to
one side and lean on the table.

"I know what it feels like to be used.  Melanie saw to that."

Kira nods.

I look down at where my fingers are woven and tensely gripping each
other.  "Last night.  When you were on top.  " I pause briefly and
then blurt it out.

"You didn't feel like you were trying to 'dominate' me.

"Kira, I know this will sound strange.  I felt like you were more
concerned with my feelings than yours." I smile lopsidedly.  "I never
felt that with Mel." I take a deep breath and look directly into her
deep eyes. I try to contact her soul.

"I don't think you're using me.  If you are, it's in a way I'm not
going to object to." That comment gets me a wan smile in return.

Her hands reach to grasp mine.  As she does so, she looks down and
concentrates on carefully intertwining our fingers.  Eventually, her
hands stop moving and without looking up, she tells me her story.
---

part 3 - Morning Maunderings
---

"I've been using you since the first time we talked."  Kira's voice is
soft and filled with pain.  "But then that's the only type of
relationship I know."

I start to say something and she squeezes my fingers so hard they
hurt.

"No, let me explain."  I remain silent.

"You're the first man who has let me be myself.  You didn't ask me for
anything except friendship."

"I don't blame you for not thinking about more.  Melanie almost ruined
you."

"I'd like to think I brought you back from hell.  I know it wasn't all
my work.  You had to want to return."

"Last night.  The blowjob.  My probing your ass with my finger.  That
was the first time I've done it because I *wanted* to."

"And you.  You didn't object.  I don't know if you were wise, too
horny to care or just relaxed about sex."  She shook her head
slightly.

"Doesn't matter really."

"What does matter is that with your help, by using you, I've found a
path out of my own hell."  She takes a deep breath and I feel her
hands clench again.

"Don't send me back."

"OK?"  She bends forward as she lifts our hands to her lips.  I barely
feel her lips brush my fingers.  I do feel her tears as they fall on
the backs of my hands.

Somehow I manage to get up and move to her side of the table.  I
finally have to gently untangle our fingers so I can resettle at her
left side.  I wrap my right arm around her and pull her close.

"Send you back?"  I'm half musing to myself.  "Until now I never
dreamed you were mine to keep."

Still in that slightly fogged state, I continue.  "Yeah.  Mel didn't
help. She was my only long term relationship.  I guess I confused sex
with love."

I squeeze slightly.  "I'm no expert on love anyway.  If love is
wanting to spend the rest of my life with you, well, I guess that's
what it is."

"Kira.  I never dreamed that a woman could be like you.  You touch me
in ways I didn't know I could be touched."  I smile and then chuckle
softly.

"OK, too many romance stories as a kid.  I can get flowery."

She turns and giggles into my shoulder.

"Maybe love is about using each other with permission.  With trust."

"How would I know?  All I've done is screwed a few women in my life.
Read some stories. Looked at a lot of pictures."

"Jerked off and dreamed."

"I'm 23.  I know that's not long enough to gain a lot of wisdom about
love."  I fall silent again.

Then, I think about something else. "It's long enough for me to say
that I love you."

I firm my voice as I accept what I've learned. "Long enough for me to
be able to say I won't send you back.  You'll have to deliberately
leave on your own."  I turn and gently kiss Kira's forehead.

"I don't want to leave."  The words are softly spoken into my
shoulder.

* * *

Six months later we were married.

Twenty-plus years later we're still together.

I don't think I need to say more.
======

End: The Taste of her Smile: One concept, two stories

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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