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Subject: {ASSM} The K9 Point of View (zoo, best, misc work) TBD
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Date: Sun, 15 Apr 2012 16:10:02 -0400
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The K9 Point of View (zoo, best, misc work) 
---

Thor & Sarah (k9-pov, zoo, best,)
---

zoo dog/F k9-pov  nosex caution

Thor's Hammer
----

I have a past but do not feel sorry for me.

She gave it to me.  I wish I could thank her in her own language.

I can't say the words.

I know them.  I even say them in my mind - but - I also know I'll
never be able to say them.

I'm a dog.  Her words do not fit my mouth.  I've tried.  I still try.

Nothing.

So, we've created our own 'words'.  Our own language.  It works well
enough.

My name is Thor.  She calls my penis 'The Hammer of Thor'.  It pleases
her to do so.  I do not fully understand why.

Her name is Judy.  I wish that just once, I could say it to her.  I
want to speak her name so I can tell her how much she means to me.

She is my friend, my companion.

She is also my lover.  She is my bitch and I need no other.

What I tell you now is only part of the past Judy has given me.

***

Judy and I are partners in almost everything except two parts of our
lives.

She doesn't take me with her when she goes to do something she calls
'work'.  I don't understand this but I know it makes her tired and
upset sometimes.  It makes her mad enough to yell at me.  At first I
thought I was doing things wrong but she finally convinced me her
anger had nothing to do with me.  Now, when she starts yelling about
work, I stay away until she calls for me.

The other thing she refuses to do is allow me to mate with her when
her body says she is ready for me.  She always tells me how good I am
but then, even though her body knows we are supposed to mate, she
calls me 'silly' (from her tone, I think she is telling me I don't
really know what I am doing) and then she pushes me away and does
things to pretend she is mating.

It is very confusing.

Last night, she did it again.  She rejected me and left me home while
she 'went out' with what she calls her 'boyfriend'.

Why does she lie to me?  Why does she lie to herself?

It is when she is with me that she becomes receptive.  Her body
responds to our time together.  Yet, when I tell her I know she is
ready to mate with me, she pushes me away.   Then, she uses what she
calls a 'phone' and somehow one of her 'boyfriends' will know to come
to her and mate with her.

It does not please me but I have learned to live with it.  Sometimes I
let her know that I can tell one of her boyfriends only wants to
finish what we started.  He doesn't want to share more with her as I
do.

We are mates but my opinions mean nothing to her.

It is all very confusing but I have learned it is the human way.

She was crying when she got home.

When she came in the door, I could smell her pain.  Along with the
smell of sex was the smell of blood.  I did not try to comfort her by
helping her clean up.  Instead, I leaned against her and told her how
much I cared for her.  I let her know that I would never deliberately
cause her pain.

"Oh Thor.  You're always here for me."  She got on her knees and
hugged me.  "What would I do without you?"

I wish she would accept what she could do *with* me.  She knows, deep
down, that we are mates.  She isn't bothered by me looking at her
body.  She often lets me rest my head next to her female parts.  She
lets me watch as she pretends to mate with someone.

She has seen my penis.  She knows I  can use it for more than pissing.

She knows mates have sex together.  Deep down, she knows we are mates.
I don't understand why she fears that.  I know she does.  She
shouldn't.

I have seen some of her boyfriends.  They are not the same. Does she
fear that I would cause her pain?  I would not hurt her.

I want her.  She wants me.  Why does she fear this?

Instead of helping her clean herself, I comfort her and tell her how
much I love her in spite of how she refuses to admit what her body
knows.  I have learned that for humans, sometimes the mind does not
understand as the body does.  They are divided.  I am not.

After awhile, she goes to take a bath.  She has left the door open for
me.  Sometimes I will go in and she will scratch my head as she soaks.
When we are alone, she does not hide her body from me.  I enjoy seeing
her.  I enjoy her smell.

Today, she tells me to go away when I ask if she wants attention.
She's in one of those moods again.

I curl up on the carpet and rest my head on my legs.  I study her.  I
always study her when I have time.

This time, she seems to be somewhere else.  Her movements are slow as
she washes herself.  I watch as she carefully washes her breasts.
There are scratch marks there.  I want to hurt the one who hurt her.
She looks up as I growl softly.

"Thor?"  She looks at me.  I am staring at her breasts.  When she
realizes that I am not looking at her face, she 'blushes'.  Her body
becomes hotter.  I see her breasts shake slightly.  She touches one of
the scratch marks.  When she winces in pain, I growl again.

"This bothers you?"  Her voice is soft.  I detect something new in it.
"You care that much?".

I understand her tone more than I do the words.  Concern overwhelms
me.  I go over to her.  I reach in and gently lick one of the
scratches.  She shoves me back and then, instead of yelling at me,
stops and looks into my eyes.

"You really do care don't you?"  I hear wonder.  I settle on my
haunches and whine softly.  It is the only way I can tell her how much
I care.

Her scent changes subtly.  I see her eyes fill with understanding.

This time, as she slowly works her hands along her breasts, she lifts
them and looks at them.  She pauses a long time.  I can tell she is
thinking about something.  She has that look that tells me her mind is
not in her body.

She finally moves her hands down her body.  They stop where her legs
join her body.  They caress the part that tells me she is female.

Slowly, she moves her fingers in the way she does when she pretends
she is mating.  This too is familiar.  I have watched before.

She shivers for a time and then her body relaxes.

She turns to look at me again.  "You love me don't you Thor?"  I can't
answer in words so I gently lick her face.  She is crying again but
this time I don't smell pain.  I smell readiness.

Water splashes me as she hugs me.  She buries her face in my fur.  It
has taken a long time but her mind finally accepts what her body
knows.

We are mates of both mind and body.  I have known it.  Now she knows
it.
~~~

Matchmaker, Matchmaker
---

It is difficult to order my thoughts. Living with Judy has made me
want to remember.

I am so alone most of the time. I cannot tell other dogs what Judy
means to me. I can tell them she is my mate. That much, I can make
them understand. They also understand that Judy 'owns' me in the same
way the people they live with 'own' them.

That much, we have in common.

From the very beginning, after Judy's mind accepted me as her true
mate, she has insisted that when we are outside our home I must behave
as I did before. I am not to check her for signs of her readiness to
mate. I cannot do more than touch my nose to her lips in greeting.

Even in our home, when other people are there, I have to hide my true
feelings.

I still do not fully understand this but she says if we do not hide
how we really feel, people will take us away from each other and we
will never see each other again.

In the years since we first mated, hiding my feelings has become a
habit. At least humans aren't able to smell our love for each other.

In public, I behave as any other dog would. It is easy for me to do,
now. It is just another one of those things humans do, so I live with
her quirks. Our time at home makes up for having to hide our love when
we are with other humans.

Today I had a strange experience.

When we were at the park, Judy, as usual, let me run free. While I was
meeting with other dogs, I met a bitch who smelled strange. After we
had both sniffed each other and pointed out our humans, I remembered
where I had smelled her odor.

She smelled like she had mated with a human male. I know she could
smell Judy's odor on me because she took a long time to check me out
so she could remember me.

It was very hard but when I asked if she and her human were true
mates, I was able to get her to understand what I meant.

They were. I explained that Judy and I are true mates, too.

She was amazed. She was also very pleased. She had always thought she
was the only dog who was mated to a human.

We stayed close to each other while we were at the park and eventually
got our humans to settle together.

Her name is Sarah. She says Jack, her mate, only calls her that in
public. At home, he calls her other things.

We smiled as I told her Judy does the same thing with me.

It was nice to find someone who is like me.

Sarah and I decided to form a pack of our own. We are going to get
Judy and Jack to become mates with each other as well as with us so
they will be able to be with someone like themselves. That will be
good for them.

I like Jack. He smells nice. Sarah tells me that most of the time he
is gentle when he mates. He does many things to please her before he
pleases himself.

When they first started mating, he would accidentally hurt her and
sometimes she would hurt him. As they learned, those hurts happened
less often and now they rarely hurt each other. It has been a long
time since one of them forgot and hurt the other one accidentally.

I laughed when she said that. Judy and I had been the same way. I had
not wanted to hurt her but until I learned to control myself I had
scratched her with my toenails as I mounted her. Sometimes my penis
had not gone into her female part and had hit her instead.

Eventually we had mated often enough that I had learned how to hold
myself back until I was sure I was in the right position. Then, I
could enter her.

Sarah had grinned. She told me that she had had to learn to control
her happiness when she cleaned Jack after a mating. Several times, she
had found rough spots in his hair or on his skin and had tried to nip
them smooth. Eventually, she had learned the feel of Jack's body and
taught herself to be far more gentle than she was with a dog.

She had been wistful when she talked of being gentle. It had been a
long time since she had been mated by a dog. She sometimes missed not
being able to just let herself do whatever felt good to her.

I agreed with her and that was when we decided to see if we could get
Judy and Jack to help us form a pack. We knew that our humans were
sometimes lonely because they didn't mate with other humans. We felt
the same way because we never mated with other dogs.

Sarah and I will always love Jack and Judy but sometimes we feel the
need to mate with one of our own kind. It would be nice to have all of
us together so we could sometimes mate with each other.

We were sure that Judy and Jack felt the same way.

Both of us wish we could tell our mates that they are not alone.

We will find a way to show them that they do not need to hide their
true natures from each other.

* * *

"All right already! We're almost there." I was laughing so hard I
almost missed the driveway to the park. Sarah had her nose plastered
to the window and was whining loudly. Obviously, she enjoyed these
trips.

I parked, hooked her up to her leash and then she impatiently held
herself back as we walked to the entrance to the off-leash area.

Once through the gates, I bent down and turned her loose. "OK. Goof.
Go." I smiled as I waved her off.

She surprised me. Instead of running off, she stuck her nose in the
air and started sniffing deeply. I noticed she seemed unsatisfied and
she shifted her position slightly. With a shock, I realized she was
quartering and searching for something.

Suddenly she brought her nose down and made a mad dash across the
park. She barely swerved to miss anything that was in her way.
Whatever she had been looking for, she had found.

I extended her route and when I figured out where she was headed, I
grinned. Even as I grinned, she hit Thor and knocked him over. While
they greeted each other and started playing, I looked around for
Thor's owner.

I wasn't really surprised when I spotted Judy sitting on a bench that
was by itself. I could tell when she realized who Thor was playing
with. She turned and looked towards the entrance. We waved at each
other and she patted the bench next to her.

I went over and sat beside her. Only in my deepest mind did I dare to
admit to myself I enjoyed her company and always hoped she would be
here.

"Hello Judy. Looks like those two are enjoying themselves." I smiled
wryly. "Sarah seems to always look for Thor when we get here."

"Thor's the same way. He makes a beeline for her if she's here." She
turned to look at me and I could see that she was starting to blush.
"Ah... She's not in season is she? He's intact."

I felt my own blush start. "No... She's not in season. Yet. I never
had her spayed."

I looked back at the two of them. That was when I realized what Judy
was talking about. Thor was obviously trying to seduce Sarah. Oh crud.
How do I explain this one? She's never done this to me before. But
then this was the first time we had made love just before coming to
the park.

"Ummm..." I looked around hurriedly. "Maybe there's a bitch in season
close by."

"Even if there was, he's been trained to ignore a bitch in season.
This is the first time he's broken training." She had a puzzled look.
"I was watching them. Sarah started it. That's what made me ask if she
was in season."

What else could I do? "Sarah!" She turned to look in my direction.
When I did a recall, she came runinng over with Thor right beside her.

Instead of settling in nearby, she ran up, stuck her nose in my crotch
and then inhaled deeply. "Hey!" Before I could do more than reach down
to shove her away, I heard Judy gasp. I looked over and she was
pushing Thor away from her crotch. "Knock it off!" I heard her tell
him.

This is going to sound funny but I'd be willing to swear that Thor and
Sarah looked at each other with smug looks before they wandered off to
settle on the grass and start grooming each other.

I knew *I* was blushing at Sarah's obvious action. What I didn't
expect was to see Judy blushing as she avoided looking at me.

Usually I was able to explan Sarah sniffing me as being caused by her
being in season and sometimes she got too personal. Her enthusiasm for
crotches when she was in heat was just something I had learned to live
with as part of owning a bitch that wasn't spayed. Until now, it had
always worked. Unfortunately, I had already admitted she wasn't in
season.

"Jack?" She was smiling slightly. "You saw Thor?"

"Yeah." I gestured vaguely. "I suppose you saw Sarah?"

She nodded and her blush got deeper. She looked around. "Good. There's
nobody nearby."

I wondered at that comment. "No, I doubt if anyone saw what happened
or cared if they did see it. Sarah gets carried away sometimes. Is
Thor the same way?" My mind was screaming for me to come up with a
diversion.

"Hmm? Oh. Sometimes. Do you have a girlfriend?" She sounded
abstracted.

I paused before I answered. This was getting crazy. If I didn't know
better, it sounded like she was thinking of something else and trying
to divert me. "No, I don't have a..."

Judy *was* trying to divert my attention. She was also asking a subtle
question. Little things she and Thor had done duirng the months I've
known them - suddently added up. I couldn't stop my grin as it began
to form. Actually, I never thought about stopping it from forming. I
was way too happy about my discovery. "Well, yes, I do have a
girlfriend." I pointed. "She's right there - next to your boyfriend."

Judy was smiling a bit lopsidedly. "They set us up, didn't they?"

I put my arm on the back of the bench and relaxed. "I hate to say it
but I think they did. They might be telling us something else, too." I
couldn't help my wry chuckle as I used my other hand to point. Thor
had mounted Sarah and was obviously tied to her.

I felt Judy nestle into my side. "Fifteen to thirty minutes is his
average. We might as well relax and enjoy ourselves." She reached up
and held my hand. "So, are we going to listen to those two and become
friends?"

I chuckled as a pressure I didn't know I was enduring left me. "Might
as well. I long ago learned that Sarah is wiser than I am when it
comes to matters of the heart. If she approves, I don't argue."

"I wonder how they knew?" Judy leaned into me. "I never dreamed that
Thor would make the effort to find me a human mate. Not since..." She
fell silent.

I had to agree with her. "Sarah's been the same way. It's almost as if
they knew that you and I were alike and they deliberately forced us to
become aware of that."

We settled and waited patiently as our dogs stood tied together in the
middle of the area.

* * *

I could tell that Sarah and Jack had recently mated. Judy and I
usually waited and mated after we had been to the park. That way we
weren't as tired while we were there.

Sarah let me taste her more than usual. Then, because she was feeling
real good, she started asking me to mate with her. I told her I really
liked her and wanted to mate but then Jack called her away. Was he
jealous?

As we went back, Sarah told me he didn't let her mate in public.

I sighed. A human thing. I was getting tired of human things. Judy was
the same way with me. Even if a bitch's smell told me she was ready to
mate, I had to ignore her. Sarah hadn't smelled ready but she had said
she just wanted to mate with a dog for a change. We had seen many
other dogs mate in public when the bitch wanted to. If we were going
to behave like them, we should be allowed to mate in public.

We decided to tell our humans that we wanted to mate. Maybe they would
figure out that Sarah and I were able to tell that they were alike and
that we wanted to mate because we liked each other and we knew *we*
were alike.

Sarah told Jack that she was ready to mate and I told Judy I wanted to
mate. We got in trouble at first and they pushed us away. We settled
where we could keep track of how they smelled.

They were angry at first. Judy's smell changed first. I could remember
her smelling like that when she used to push me away and call one of
her boyfriends. Good.

Sarah said Jack was not happy at first and then not long after Judy's
smell changed, his changed and he smelled like he did when he was
ready to mate with her.

Sarah had never seen the human mating ritual so I told her that when
Judy and Jack got real close to each other, it was part of it and that
in a few days or less they would probably decide to mate with each
other.

Sarah was puzzled at the delay and I told her that Judy did not
immediately mate with a male she liked. I had to admit I didn't
understand why she waited when both of them knew they would eventually
mate with each other.

Sarah thought about that and finally decided to remind me that *she*
didn't want to wait any longer. I liked that idea and so I mounted her
and quickly became tied. Once we were tied I slipped to one side and
we stood there and enjoyed ourselves.

Sarah glanced over at Jack and Judy and told me they were watching us.
Judy was leaning against Jack and both of them smelled very ready to
mate with each other.

This pleased us very much. Hopefully, they would let us be there when
they mated. I decided I would enjoy watching Judy mate with a human
male who was gentle with her.

Sarah thought it would be nice to see how humans mated. Jack had never
mated with a human as long as she had been with him. She wasn't sure
if he knew how. I reassured her that even if Jack didn't know how to
mate with a human female, Judy did know how humans mated and she would
be able to help him.

She thought that over while we waited for me to be able to withdraw.
Eventually she admitted she was worried about how Judy would treat
Jack. She didn't want to see him get hurt.

I had seen Judy mate with males of her own kind so I could reassure
Sarah that if Judy did hurt Jack, it would be by accident. She had
rarely hurt any of the males I seen her mate with. I reminded Sarah
that it had taken some time for her and Jack to learn how to mate
without hurting each other. I thought that Jack and Judy would be the
same way at first and because it was easier for them to tell each
other things, they would probably learn about each other very quickly.

We are the same and there are things we don't have to talk about when
we mate. They are the same and it should be the same way for them.

I felt Sarah relax a little but I knew she would worry until Jack and
Judy had successfully mated a few times without problems. I was
worried too but I relaxed when I remembered that Sarah had told me how
gentle Jack is during a mating. I wasn't sure what I would do if he
deliberately hurt Judy.

I told Sarah of my own worries and we finally decided to just wait and
not do anything during their first mating.

We also decided that we would obey most commands from each other's
mate unless our own mate objected.

Eventually I was able to pull free of Sarah and I quickly helped my
penis slide back in its sheath while Sarah began cleaning herself.
Sarah wanted to play but all I could do was stagger after her a few
steps as she ran in circles around me. She finally laughed and walked
by my side as I went over to settle on the grass near Judy and Jack.

I was falling asleep because I was very tired but I did feel Judy's
hand gently pet me and she told me she wasn't really upset about what
I had done. I could tell by her odor that she was happier than she had
been in a long time. That made me feel better and so I licked her hand
and apologized for telling her I was ready to mate while we were away
from the house. I don't know if she understood me.

She was still petting me when I fell asleep so I guess everything was
ok with her.

* * *

Judy and I have seen each other several times since that day at the
park. Sarah and Thor have been inseperable when they are together. I'd
also swear they are pushing us at each other. When Judy and I walk
anywhere, the dogs join us. They insist on walking at our sides and as
we walk, they slowly force us closer together. Several times Judy and
I have wound up wrapping our arms around each other to keep from
falling over.

This time, when we reach for each other I decide to confront Judy with
my suspicions. "Judy? Are you ok with what the dogs are doing to us?"

She was silent so long that I started wondering if she had heard me.
"Sorry. I was remembering something that happened with Thor a long
time ago." She stopped and turned to face me. "To tell the truth, I
hadn't really thought about what they are doing when we are together.
Being with you just feels so natural I haven't really questioned
things."

She gestured in the direction of the bench that we had come to think
of as 'ours'. "Let's go sit down. I need to tell you something you
might have trouble believing."

"Ok."

She settled and seemed to be gazing off at nothing for a long time. I
couldn't recall ever seeing her this pensive.

"You have to understand that in a strange way, Thor seduced me. I'd
had him for several years before we actually did anything together."
She shook her head. "No, seduction isn't the right word. I've never
tried to tell anyone else what happened."

"He didn't seduce me. It was more like he had the patience to wait
until my mind realized what my body already knew. Or maybe he waited
until just the right time to let me know how much he loved me."

"He was just a dog. I never felt embarrassed or anything when I
masturbated in front of him. Why should I? Sure, I would let him sleep
on the bed with me. I enjoyed his company. Sometimes knowing he would
be there at the end of a long day was all that kept me going."

She sighed deeply. "I wander. I ramble. I wanted to tell you about how
he told me he *loved* me and saw me as his mate and that he wanted me
to accept that deep down, I knew I was mated to him and that we should
make love - as mates."

"Looking back, I sort of think he was studying me all along. This bit
with him and Sarah throwing us at each other has me wondering just how
much of his deviousness I've never noticed. It wouldn't surprise me if
we discovered he was the one who started all of this. He's that type
of dog."

She shrugged. "Damn. It's so hard to put it all in words. I can tell
it crudely, which is that one night my boyfriend abused me and tore my
breasts and did other damage to my body. When I got home, Thor was
there just like he always had been. I was so tired and sore and upset
that when I took a bath and tried to ease the pain and clean myself, I
told him to stay away until I could deal with what happened. I do
remember that when I started washing my breasts he growled after I
winced in pain."

She shook her head and drifted off again. I barely heard her next
words but I was amazed at the change in tone. Her voice was filled
with a kind of wonder I understood all too well. It was the same
wonder I had felt when I realized that I truly loved Sarah as a
lifemate rather than just fucked her for our mutual pleasure.

"It was like a door I never knew about was suddenly opened to reveal a
whole different world. I think I asked him if he really did care for
me so much that he hated the person who had hurt me. Somehow, and I
still don't understand it, it was as if he understood what I had asked
and knew he couldn't tell me in words that I would understand. He came
over and gently licked one of the scratches. It was like he was
telling me he hurt because I hurt and he wanted to make me feel
better."

"No, not make me feel better. Somehow, even though he was angry about
what had happened, he was telling me that *he* would never
deliberately hurt me." She turned to face me. I could see her tears.
"Does that make sense? I can't tell you how I got that impression from
nothing more than his licking my breast. Was it his eyes? The obvious
tenderness?"

"All those years he waited. All the pain I must have caused him and
yet he patiently waited for me. We didn't fuck each other right away
but eventually we did. It was awkward for both of us. His claws
scratched me as the two of us tried to get into position. He knew what
to do with a bitch but it was pretty obvious fucking me was different
for him. When he furiously tried to impale me, his penis would miss
and sometimes it hurt so much I couldn't hold in a grunt of pain or
stop the tears."

"Finally, I reached back and helped him. He was pumping so furiously
that once he hit between my labia, he slammed home immediately. I
didn't know what to expect. I knew he would tie with bitches so I
feared that he would tie with me. He did at first but when he slid off
my back he pulled me sideways a bit and then he pulled free. That was
when I learned that no matter what else happened, we could always get
ourselves apart. Knowing I could get free let me relax and enjoy what
we did together. Strange how something that simple could make such a
difference in my thinking and enjoyment."

"The first few times were like that. Awkward and frustrating for both
of us. Eventually we learned how to move together. He learned that I
liked to have him 'tie' and then collapse on my back. I learned that I
could hold him so his bulbs expanded before he fully entered me. We've
been together so many times and in so many different positions that I
can let go and he'll stay in position as I masturbate myself to an
orgasm. It's as if he waits to make sure I'm finished before he tries
to change position. He's not passive. I can often feel him shift
slightly and do other things that he must have figured out increases
my pleasure."

"I have some interesting scars from those early sessions. I never did
think about wearing anything to protect my skin. It was only after we
had become experienced with each other that I started to wear
something heavy to protect my back and sides. It must be quite a sight
to see me on my hands and knees and wearing a leather jacket as he
mounts me."

"I've even let him take me from the front."

She smiled wryly. "I must have been lonelier than I thought. Here I am
telling you all about how my dog and I fuck each other when all I was
going to do was tell you that I have no doubt that he cold-bloodedly
arranged to have us find out about each other. He's that kind of dog.
When he makes a decision, he generally finds a way to make it happen."

She looked over at Thor. "It's only fair to tell you that I haven't
been with a man since the night I realized I loved Thor and agreed to
be his mate. Thor has his ways of telling me how he feels about any
men we meet. You're the first one he's told me he's willing to let
make love to me."

I'd been so wrapped up in her story that I barely realized she had
stopped and was waiting for me to comment. I blurted out the first
thing I could think of. "I've never had sex with a woman. I don't know
if I can do it even if I wanted to."

'Idiot.' I thought to myself. Of all the things I could have said, I
managed to pick the one almost guaranteed to make me lose out on a
chance to find out if my fears were justified.

There was a long silence as she studied me thoughtfully. I didn't know
what I could say to make things better so I waited for her to speak
first. Maybe she'd say something I could respond to and not make
things worse than I already had.

She seemed to be musing something when she finally spoke. "I don't
think Thor would have picked you as my mate if he thought you wouldn't
be able to perform sexually." She looked at Sarah and then back at me.
"First times are awkward for everyone. My time with Thor taught me
that I should never anticipate when it comes to sex."

I nodded slowly. "Whatever happens, happens? Is that what you are
trying to tell me?"

She nodded. Her next question was gentle. "My place?"

I didn't answer right away. I looked down at my hands and they were
shaking. I was shaking. I had trouble accepting how nervous I was
about this. "I don't know why I'm so nervous. Sarah and I make love
almost every day. I *know* I can perform sexually." I took a deep
breath. "I'm scared. I don't know what scares me more. Failing to be
able to do anything or failing to satisfy you."

She reached over and held my hands in hers. "Let's worry about you
first. Then we can worry about you learning how to help me reach
orgasm."

I thought about her offer. Did I want to finally find out? I sighed to
myself. I *had* to know for certain. I accepted her offer. "Your
place."

She leaned forward and kissed me. It was a tender kind of kiss that
was real different than all the other times I had been kissed by
women. I felt her hands squeeze mine gently as she pulled away. "I
think we better use my car. I don't think you are in any shape to
drive right now." She smiled slightly. "Yours will be ok here until
you come back to get it. I used to leave mine here when I wanted to
meet a boyfriend and not let him know where I lived. There are lots of
people who live in the neighborhood and park here when all the spaces
near their homes are full."

"Ok. Sounds like you live pretty close. Wish I did, sometimes."

She shook her head and sighed. "It's a long walk, and we'd have to
cross a couple of busy streets. Safer to load him and drive. More
flexibility, too, because sometimes I'll go to a drive through and get
us something to eat before we go home."

I sighed. "It's a long drive for us. Too far to walk. Guess it must be
about ten miles or so. That's one reason I'm only here once or twice a
week."

"The others?"

I shrugged and looked away. "I've alway been an introverted loner.
Don't know why, I remember having a lot of friends when I was growing
up. Don't think about it very often, any more."

I looked around casually, to make sure nobody was near enough to hear
me. "Sarah and I do a lot of walking at home, so this is more of a
treat for her and an excuse for me to get out and eat something
besides frozen dinners or my own cooking. And of course, we both spend
a lot of time inside with each other. I really haven't had any good
reasons to get out much."

She sighed. "I kind of understand that. I guess I'm here out of habit,
since it is convenient for me. I haven't visited with many men since
Thor and I settled into our relationship. He lets me visit if I want
to. He doesn't really do anything to stop me, it's just... "

I looked at Sarah and then back at her. "I was afraid to look for a
relationship, and now, I have one, so I wasn't interestted in making
any sort of effort. I've thought of you as at least a friend for quite
awhile, but I couldn't see myself trying for more. If you ever did
anything to hint you were interested, I missed it. No idea what to
look for."

She touched my arm lightly. "Relax. I haven't been looking, for years.
I enjoy our visits, but I never wanted more than that. Someone forced
the issue and I'll trust his judgement."

She shook her head again and spoke in a whisper. "After what happened,
I haven't trusted my own judgement. He wasn't the first to hurt me,
just the first one who did enough damage to leave scars, instead of
bruises."

I shuddered. "I'm not into that stuff, so you don't have to worry.
Sure, I've hurt Sarah by accident, when we were still getting to know
each other, but it's been a long time since either of us did something
to hurt the other."

"Good. I think, just to keep things honest, we should have both of
them in the room with us. From the way they've been pushing us at each
other, I'm pretty sure they want us to fuck each other, and soon."

Her tart comment, combined with the way she glared at Thor, made me
chuckle. "Sarah's snort was the same one she uses when she wants me to
strip for her."
---

End Abandoned Work: 'Matchmaker, Matchmaker' 
End: Thor & Sarah
======
zoo/best Bitch/M  k9-pov
---

Taken
---

I come awake to fingers working along either side of my spine.

I stretch and shiver in pleasure.  As I open my eyes, I slide my head
so my nose touches his lips.

He smells ready and happy.  I groan in my own pleasure as he gently
touches those places that give me great happiness.

Willingly, I lift my top leg as he shifts us so he can insert himself.
Gently, he rubs his tip against me.  He parts my lips and uses a
finger to slowly transfer my fluids to his penis.  Eventually, a
little bit at a time, he jogs himself in and out and slowly works his
way into me.

Tugging sensations.  Fullness.  Internal quivers.

Not dog yet more than dog, he has learned the little things that bring
me great pleasure.

Once fully sheathed, he draws me against him and holds us tightly
against each other.  It is his way of pretending we have tied.
Instinct takes over and I spasm.

His fingers roam about my body and find their way to the base of my
tail.  Firmly, he digs.

Magic.

Pleasure.

I tense and shiver internally.  He encourages me to forget time.  He
teases my body into telling my mind to forget everything but my own
desires.

Finally, my quivers slow and almost stop.  He begins to move.  Long,
sure strokes.  He takes his pleasure now.  I am limp as he seeks his
own pleasures.  He uses me.  I use him.

His hands wander and seek as they draw involuntary responses from my
body.  Those movements please him as much as they please me.  I can
feel his urgency build.  His scent indicates his nearness to his own
pleasure.

Musk.  Not dog.  Male.  Intense male.  Sex.  Urgency.

I relax under his almost brutal driving.  He feels as if he is trying
to merge his body with mine.

Out.  In.  Deeper.  Bones driven together.  More pressure.  Pause.
Pressure.  Steady rhythm becomes a staccato driving urgency.

Rapid pounding.  Pause.  More pounding.  Pause.

Finally, that driving thrust that tell me he is going to orgasm.  He
pulses inside me.  An eternity as he pulls us together with a power no
dog can match.  Both of us are totally focussed.  No dog has ever been
as intense.  No dog ever displays such purpose and selfishness at this
ultimate pleasure.  No dog has ever been so selfish that he increases
his pleasure by deliberately increasing mine.

It confused me at first.  Now, I let myself be overwhelmed by it.  He
taught me that increasing the pleasure of your partner increases your
own pleasure.

I love him.  I lust after him.  I use him.  He uses me.  We use each
other.

Partners.

None of this means anything as his pulsing sends ripples of pleasure
through me.  I feel his collapse inside me.  Pleasure so intense I
begin to pull us apart.  I smell him return.  His grip loosens.  He
reaches to cradle my legs as I push against his hands.  I flip myself
over and bounce away.  I turn and smell myself.

Ambrosia.  Us.  I love him.  He loves me.  Our juices moisten my
tongue and the scent/taste fills me.

Ecstasy.

Once I'm sure I have most of our juices cleaned from my body, my
excitement makes me turn to his crotch.

I taste and clean.  More ambrosia.

I taste his happiness.  I share mine by cleaning him.  He thrusts
himself into my cleaning.  He moans in pleasure.  I am more excited.

His pleasure is my pleasure.  My pleasure is his.

Rightness.  Us.  He is spent.  Exhausted.  I want to run, I want to
let my body shout how I feel.  He laughs with that tone he saves for
these times.

Finished cleaning, I run to the door.  The house cannot contain my
joy.  Impatiently, I wait for him to open the door.  As it starts to
open, I force it out of his hand.

Outside.

I run.  I bark.  The world needs to know how I feel.

I tell it.

Once I am tired, I return to him.  I stand in his lap and kiss him. He
laughs gently and returns my kiss.

Not dog yet more dog than any dog, he understands me.

I understand him.

We understand each other.

He lusts after me and I lust after him.

I love him.

I *know* he loves me.

That's all we need.
======
k9-pov best/zoo bitch/M
---

Bitch Talk
---

"You're kidding, aren't you?"  Tess sounded shocked.

"Nope."  I was smug.  "It's fun and he makes it feel a *lot* better
than any dog can."

I grinned at her.  "He's ready to fuck me any time I want him to, not
just when I'm ready to have puppies."

Tess settled on her haunches next to me as we watched our humans.
"Cara, are you sure it's ok?  I mean...  They are only humans, you
know."  Then another thought came to her.  "My Bob sure doesn't look
like he'd be able to do anything.  I've seen him."

I shrugged.  "Ok or not, we fuck each other at least several times a
week.  That isn't 'dog' you smell every time you sniff me."

She nodded thoughtfully.  "I wondered what that smell was.  So that's
what a bitch smells like after breeding with a human male."  She
pondered for a bit.  "I still don't see how he can fuck you."

"He has to get fully swollen before he enters me."

Tess gasped.  "Doesn't it hurt that way?  I can handle it when a dog
goes in and then swells up.  How can you handle him?"

"It took getting used to.  Now?  Well, I'm spoiled."  I grinned slyly.
"Tom doesn't just enter me and stop thrusting.  He keeps thrusting
until he orgasms.  His orgasms aren't as long as a dog's but he more
than makes up for it with the extra stimulation he gives me.  Not only
that..."  I couldn't help my sly glance at Tess.  "*He* stays inside
me until he's fully soft and then sticks around to clean me if I let
him."

I let my mind wander a bit and I didn't care if Tess heard me or not.
"Or lets me clean him afterwards.  I'll never go back to *just* dogs.
Tom may look small but when he's ready, he's as big as almost any dog
I've seen.  Even without a knot."

"Cara!"  Tess was definitely surprised and a little upset.  "They
don't have knots?"

I chuckled softly.  "No.  Makes it better in my opinion."

"Better?  I don't believe you."

"Come on, Tess.  Be honest.  How many times have you told me you enjoy
a dog slamming himself back and forth inside you and then complained
he can only do it for a few real good strokes before his knot stops
him?"

"Tom there can keep that sort of thing up for a couple of minutes.  If
he goes slow, he can move back and forth inside me for what seems like
forever.  Not only that, if we use the right position, he can play
with me at the same time he's fucking me.  You wouldn't *believe* how
many orgasms I can have during a good fucking."

"I've never had multiple orgasms."  Tess was wistful.  "About the time
I'm really ready to go again, the damn dog pulls out, licks me to get
me to close up and seal his semen inside me...  And walks off to clean
himself up.  Then for some reason Bob won't let any other dogs near me
no matter how much I try to tell him I'm not satisfied."

The wind swirled around us and I could smell Tess's interest.  "For a
bitch who's not ready to breed, you sure smell like you want to get
fucked."

She knew there was no point in trying to deny her interest.  "No worse
than you."  She shot back.  "Do you think?..."

I knew I'd better close off that line of thinking.  "No.  Tom's mine.
Besides, I've seen other bitches try to get him to fuck them and he's
turned them all down.  I don't understand it but he's never figured
out that I don't care as long as he doesn't stop fucking me."

"However, there's no reason you can't get Bob to do you real good.  He
won't be too hot at first but with a little patience, I imagine he'll
figure out what really turns you on.  I've noticed that once you get a
human male's attention, he really takes the time to make sure you're
taken care of."  I laughed and then stood up and stretched.

Before I strolled off to be with Tom, I turned my head and looked into
Tess's eyes. "Isn't a male around that can't be seduced into fucking a
female.  That's *if* the female really wants to get fucked."

Tess had the grace to laugh softly.  "I'll think about it."  She stood
and stretched.  "See you next time."

* * *

The next time we met, Tess was definitely dejected.

"I've tried everything I can think of but he just won't do anything
with me.  It took me weeks just to get a chance to see him when he's
swollen.  He's *huge*!  I don't think I'll be able to handle him." She
sounded scared too.

We settled in the shade.

"Relax.  It took me almost a year before Tom figured out what was
going on.  As near as I can tell, they can't smell when we're ready so
we have to show them."

"Show them?  You mean like actually display for them?  That's absurd!"

I laughed.  "Worse, dear.  I had to actually catch Tom when he was
naked and then back myself right up against his penis.  I had to do
that several times a day for more than a week before he finally got
the message."

She looked at me oddly.   "Were you that desperate?"

"No.  By then getting him to fuck me was more of a challenge than
anything else.  I was also wondering if I *could* get him to do it. He
was pretty firm about his refusals and I was beginning to think I
should just give it up."

I smiled as I remembered.  "Glad I didn't.  When he finally *did* fuck
me..."  I caught myself drifting.  "Let's say he did more than open me
up physically.  The first orgasm wasn't anything special but when he
kept pumping away and I kept having orgasm after orgasm..."

I turned my head sideways so Tess could see my grin.  "I haven't had a
dog unless he's insisted I take one.  Now that I think about it, I
haven't had a dog in years.  Don't miss them either."

"Didn't his size scare you?"  She was honestly worried.

I gazed off and smiled wryly.  "You've never seen a fully swollen dog,
have you?"

"Had them inside me and seen them when they pull out.  They aren't
*that* big."  She hesitated and then got a surprised look on her face.
"Cara, are you telling me that all this time - what I've been fucked
by is bigger than what I've seen?"

"Yep.  Much bigger."  I gestured at a large dog that happened to be
walking by.  "What he's carrying around gets a hell of a lot bigger
once it's inside a bitch.  We never get to see how big it can get.
Usually."

"Usually?"  Tess sounded exasperated and put a lot of sarcasm in her
next words.  "And how would *you* know?"

"I caught Tom in our back yard when he had one of the big guys out of
his sheath.  I guess the dog figured Tom's mouth was a good substitute
for a bitch because he was fucking away like he couldn't get inside
soon enough.  I settled and watched the whole thing from start to
finish.  Tom didn't let the dog tie so I got to see just how big he
was.  Tell you what, after I got to see Tom do that with a few other
dogs, I realized that his penis is about average in size when you
compare it to a fully swollen dog."

I allowed myself a grin.  "If Bob's bulge is any indication, he's
about the same size as one of those handsome Shepherds over there.
Except for the knot of course."

She seemed stunned.  "But that would mean that a dog like..."  She
looked around and finally indicated one of the Danes that was
wandering nearby, "Those guys are even bigger."

"Yep.  Some are a lot bigger."

She looked thoughtful and then got a sly look.  "Bob let me have a
Dane once.  It felt real good once he tied and we could just stand
there and let me get used to him.  Hmmm..."

She turned and studied Bob.  "Took you almost a year?  I'll see what I
can do to speed things up."  She stood and stretched her lithe form.
"You've given me a lot of hope.  At least *I* know the reward is worth
the effort."  She grinned slyly.  "Maybe next time I'll have some good
news."  We laughed and then she ambled off in the direction of her
guy.

I shouted at her before she got out of range.  "If you want to
surprise me, be sure to approach from downwind!"

Her only response was an impudent flip of her tail.

* * *

I didn't need my nose to figure out Tess had been successful.  As soon
as I saw her get out of their car, I could tell.  She didn't walk, she
strutted and her hind legs moved...  Well, like she'd just been
fucked.  I grinned to myself and stayed where I was.

Bob was different too.  After he turned her loose and she headed for
me, he watched to see where she was headed.  When I looked closer I
realized his smile was different.  It looked a lot like Tom's did
after we had fucked each other.  It had a lot of love in it.

Before she got very close, I shouted at her.  "Don't bother trying to
hide it from me you slut!  You not only succeeded, you overdid it!
Didn't you?"

She settled next to me and sighed.  She knew me well enough that she
didn't try to hide her grin.  "Succeeded?  I never thought he'd be so
insatiable.  Not that I'm complaining.  Look at him, will you?  He
doesn't walk any more, he struts.  Me?  I'm so wrung out from my
orgasms that some days I can barely move."  She collapsed and rolled
to one side.  "How do you manage to look so relaxed and demure all the
time if that's what you're getting at home?"

I grinned at her discomfort.  "Unlike some, we pace ourselves."  I
relented and changed my grin to a fond smile.  "Now.  We were just as
insatiable at first.  Don't worry, you'll get used to that satisfied
feeling and then be able to walk around normally."

She sighed and closed her eyes.  I thought she'd gone to sleep until
she opened one eye and grinned at me.  "Won't take me long to get used
to this.  Not at all.  Do me a favor and tell any dogs that show up...
I'm not interested."  She closed her eye, took a deep breath and was
instantly asleep.

I looked over at where Tom and Bob seemed to be having an animated
discussion.  Every so often Tom's laughter drifted to my ears and I
would catch him watching me.  Just to let him know how things were, I
stood up, flagged him, and then resettled so I could keep an eye on
Tess and let her get some well earned sleep.

Maybe later she'd tell me how she managed to get Bob's attention so
quickly.  In the meantime I'd have to content myself with thinking
about what I had planned for Tom when we got home.

* * *

"Well?"

Tess chuckled at the irritation in my voice.  "What?"

"Are you going to tell me how you finally got Bob to fuck you?"

"Oh, that."  She settled in the shade next to me.  "If he'd been a
dog, I never would have been able to bring myself to do what I had to
do.  Dogs aren't that slow to figure out when a bitch needs fucking."

"You have a point.  Now that we've been fucking each other for several
years, I can actually be as subtle with him as with a dog.  I just
can't depend on my scent to tell him when I'm ready.  It took some
getting used to."

Tess shrugged slightly.  "Once I got him started, he's been pretty
aggressive about wanting sex.  I don't have any problems about that
because I'm still trying to figure out what I like and don't like."
She laughed.  "He's sure strange.  The first time we fucked, he
insisted that I should be on my back."

I laughed.  "Tom and I use that position a lot.  He seems to enjoy it
that way.  It's not like I can't afford to indulge him."

Tess smiled back.  "I'll stay on my back all day as long as he keeps
giving me that many orgasms."

"There is that, isn't there?"  I grinned.  "Makes me wonder how come
so few bitches have taken the time to seduce their men."

Tess gazed off at Bob.  "Cara, you know the answer to that one.  We
love them of course, but sex?  Who'd ever think that they'd be able to
give us so much pleasure?"

I rested my chin on my legs.  "You have a point.  Then too, they seem
resistant to the idea.  It's almost like all of us are so used to
being with our own kind that we have blocked out any other
possibilities.  You know..."  I trailed off thoughtfully.

"Now don't go all mysterious on me, Cara."

"I was just thinking.  If some bitches have sex with men and it's
better, do some dogs have sex with women?  Is it better for them too?"

I laughed softly and turned to watch Tess.  "Never mind that.  I want
to hear about your first time with Bob."

"Remember what you told me about having to show them?"

I nodded.

"I did some thinking and decided that if I had to show him what I
wanted, I would do it in a way that was as close as I could get to
what a human female would do."

"Makes sense.  How did you find out what they do?"

She giggled.  "I insisted on being in the room with them.  He got
tired of listening to me complain and finally relented."  She grinned.
"I can yell pretty loud when I want to and I guess he doesn't like me
yelling at night."

"So, I got to watch and learn how a human seduces him."  She shook her
head slightly.  "Human females must not be able to smell either.  Both
of them would be reeking from their readiness but they'd just sit
there and pet each other."

"Eventually she would spread her legs so he could see her or sometimes
if she was in a hurry she'd grab his hand and put it on her and move
it back and forth.  One thing I did notice was that a lot of the time
she would get on her back and then spread her legs.  He seemed to get
the message at that point and he'd fuck her within a few minutes."

"Interesting.  I don't think Tom ever had sex with a human female
before he fucked me.  Maybe that's how come it took me so long to clue
him about how I felt."

Tess nodded abstractedly.  "Maybe.  I'm starting to think that humans
don't pay much attention to sexual signaling."

"Bob enjoys petting me and I've never had a problem with getting him
to rub my chest and stomach.  He always hesitated and seldom rubbed me
between my hind legs though.  That was going to be a problem and I
knew it.  I thought about grabbing his hand and putting it where I
wanted him to rub but I just couldn't bring myself to be that
obvious."

"I did notice that as soon as a human female got on her back and
displayed for him, he'd start swelling.  Sometimes she'd lick him and
that seemed to make it easier for him to have sex too.  So, I imitated
a human female."

"I got into the habit of sleeping on my back and with my legs spread
so he could see me.  With my tail dropped to the side, I knew he
wouldn't be able to ignore the fact that I was female."

I looked at her in astonishment.  This was a different Tess than the
one I thought I had known.  I'd watched her seduce dogs and she'd
always been subtle.  It added to her charm.  "So, to get fucked, you
became a wanton?  That doesn't sound like the Tess I've known."

She smiled lazily.  "Sure.  It wasn't easy but after awhile I was able
to relax about it.  It got a lot easier when I realized that he was
slyly taking time to look at me when he thought I wasn't paying
attention.  When he started feeling his crotch while he was looking at
me, I knew I had him hooked."

"Fortunately, he likes to sleep naked.  I'd never cared either way but
since I was after his penis, it made things a lot easier.  When I
slept beside him or lay next to him for attention, I'd do it so my
vulva was facing him rather than my head.  I made sure he had a good
view too.  Every so often I'd force myself between his legs and lay
with my vulva near his penis.  At first he'd make me swap ends but
eventually he gave up and let me decide what position I wanted to be
in."

I couldn't help my chuckles.  "Sounds like you had it pretty easy."

"Yep."  She was smug.  "Just to keep him off-balance and let him know
I knew he was a male, sometimes I'd settle with my head in his crotch
and then give his penis a good tender lick or two.  You should have
heard him scream the first time I did that.  It wasn't that I didn't
spend a lot of time sleeping with my nose next to his penis.  It was
the fact I decided to taste him.  The first few times I did it he made
me get off the bed."

"I think the fact that he started swelling when I licked his penis
scared him.  I could smell his fear.  But...  I could smell his
readiness too."

"There's something to be said for how they sweat all over.  Some
nights, by the time I got through with him I felt like I was floating
in a cloud of his musk.  Several times I got him so focussed on sex
he'd play with himself until he orgasmed.  It was frustrating but the
way I figured it, the more he thought about me, the easier it would be
to get him to fuck me."

"Did he look at you while he was trying to orgasm?"

She laughed throatily.  "All the time.  A couple of times he lightly
played with me as he was swelling and that seemed to get him even more
interested in sex."

"So how did you get him to finally screw you?"  I was genuinely
curious.  It hadn't taken me long to get Tom to the point he would
play with me and then make himself orgasm.  It was getting him to
actually fuck me that had been the hardest thing to do.

Tess giggled as she remembered.  "He was trying to make himself orgasm
and I sat on his penis.  He got the hint and the next thing I knew
he'd rolled me onto my back and started licking me for all he was
worth.  I would have settled for that but he managed to force two of
his fingers inside me and when he did that he pulled them out and
mounted me from on top."

"It was sudden and uncomfortable at first but my first orgasm took
care of that.  He didn't last long but by then I didn't care.  Later
that night he was a lot more gentle about it.  He sounded upset with
himself for being so quick the first time."  She sighed and stretched.
"Now I know what you were talking about.  I can't get enough of those
long gentle sessions when we're both on our sides and he's either
slowly fucking me or just cuddling and letting me feel him inside me."

I laughed.  "So you're converted."

She turned her head and gave me a smug look.  "So's Bob.  He hasn't
fucked a human female since."

"Yeah.  Tom's the same way.  He's been with a couple of human females
but he always seemed to be a bit sad when he finishes.  He usually
called me to him after they left and then we shared a gentle fuck
before we went to sleep."

We settled on our sides so we faced each other.

Tess was wry and at the same time a bit amazed at her discoveries.
"They sure aren't dogs, they're woefully limited at reading us...  But
I guess they're worth keeping around, aren't they?"

I smiled dreamily.  "If nothing else, they throw a damn satisfying
fuck into us.  That alone makes them worth all the problems we have
with them.  I'll fuck Tom instead of a dog any day of the week."

Tess was almost asleep but she whispered.  "Yep!"

"Pleasant dreams, Tess."  I joined her and dreamed of my own lover.
======

Social/sexual satire  k9-pov  (mention of zoo/best)
---

Who Really Invented 'Sex in Marketing'?
---

You humans give yourself too many airs.

Some of you know what I'm talking about.  Those few have always
honored the code of silence.

It's time you humans knew the truth.

Dogs invented public relations and are the original masters of
successful self-promotion.  We're the ones who first realized how
powerful a marketing tool sex can be.

Some of the other animals stole parts of our work but we don't mind.
We got there first and have always controlled the market.  Dogs have
the longest running successful sex-with-humans plan ever created.

Bestiality isn't about sex.  Not sex with humans anyway.  It's about
survival.  By using the old sex drive, we've made sure humans have
always taken care of us, made sure we have breeding partners and, most
importantly, left enough of us intact so that there will always be a
diverse gene pool.

Sure, there are the wolves and coyotes.  There are always rugged
individualists.  The vocal and visible folks who draw attention to
themselves.  Tens of thousands of years and you humans still don't get
it.  While you're busy with a few minor irritants, the majority of us
have been in control from the first day one us figured out how to suck
you into taking care of us.

Think about it.  Somebody who keeps in the spotlight isn't going to be
concerned with anyone's survival but their own.  Take those folks out
and what you have left are the ones who take a longer term, overall
view of species survival.

And some of those other animals.  Sure, they got involved in the
market.  But you don't see anything about hunting rituals for dogs
that involved sex with the victim.  I haven't seen mention of anyone
who figured out what those pictures on the cave walls really meant.
Who is doing all the work in tracking the animal after the ritual?
Yep.  You got it.  Preemptive strike by us dogs.

Here's another little twist we threw in when the other animals weren't
paying attention.  Who's stayed the right size to seem
non-threatening?  Dogs.  Sure, there are size variations.  Have to be.
Hard to get those repeat sales if you package something in the same
container all the time.  Style changes.  We took it and perfected it
before anybody else had figured out what we were doing.   By then of
course, it was too late.

We even got humans to breed other animals so they were too large to
spend all their time with humans.  'Better food source'.  It's all
misdirection.  It's all a ploy so we can keep control.

Animals KNOW when someone is interested in sex.  We've got noses that
work.  Any idiot knows that to be successful in advertising you have
to keep your product in front of everyone's awareness.  Do that and
you'll sell enough to make a profit.

Profit in this case is species survival around a species that is known
to be casual in its arrogance and destruction of folks who get in its
way.

Did you really think all that nose-in-crotch or leg-humping was
because we meant it?  Hell no!  It's PR.  Enough of you buy in that
we've always got inside support.

Want to know the REAL difference between bestialists and zoophiles?

Bestialists buy the product - sex - with no questions asked.  They are
the average consumer.  Use pretty packaging and toss in some good
feelings and they'll buy anything.  Then they discard it when they
lose interest.  Fine with us.  By the time they've gone on to
something else, some of us have had a chance to reproduce and make
sure there will be another generation.

Zoophiles are the hard sell folks.  Like any hard sell though, once
they buy, they are in for the long haul.  They are the ones who get
the special treatment.  The perks.  Hook 'em and if they look like
they are caught, we start hinting at the fringe benefits program.
Things like 'Hey, buy in and get the long term loyalty package at no
extra charge'.  Aren't many humans that can turn that one down.  Sure,
like any commodity, there are those that will always sell a cheaper
product.  Usually what they leave out is the sex.  They are self
correcting though.  These days, few of those types get to reproduce.

I know, I know...  Someone is bound to ask: 'What about cats?  They
have a pretty good thing going.'

Sure , cats are successful.  They market a different product.  Limited
sales item.  They started out with the right idea.  But then their
egos got in the way.  Started looking bottom line personal interest
rather than long term profits that everyone can share.

Do cats get to travel all over  the world?  Not as many as dogs.  Who
are you likely to see out socializing without having to sneak around?
Not cats.  Who is more likely to put up with being kept inside all
their lives?

Cats keep saying they are better at training humans.  Really?  Do you
see any 'off leash cat parks' out there?  Or do you see 'off leash dog
parks' with humans laughing at the chance to socialize with each
other?  Who's really socializing?  Watch close sometime and you'll
figure it out.

You humans always talk about 'sex for fun' and how men are always
ready to screw anything with a hole.  Don't flatter yourselves.
Compared to almost any male animal, you human males might as well be
celibate.  Think about it.  You make jokes about the folks who are the
best at that part of sex.  Once again, you have completely missed the
reality of what's going on under your very noses.

Any bitch can tell you how hard it is to get a male human's attention
when it comes to sex.  Flagging, licking his penis, backing into his
crotch...  Sometimes we animals are amazed that you folks have
survived as long as you have.  If a human female did what a bitch does
you'd know what she wants.

Yeah, sure, someone is pointing out some of the darker things about
the k9-human program.  The folks who see us as a food source.  It's
not pretty but we ARE practical.  To be able to be a long term food
source, you have to breed us and make sure there are future
generations.  We've studied you humans.  If humans enter a new area or
talk about what species would be the last to go, what one is right
there at the top?

Yep, dogs.

We planned it that way.

What species gets the most press for being 'companions and cheerful
helpers of kids and the disabled'?

Us dogs again.  You think it's altruism.  Nope.  Anyone with half a
brain knows that by appearing to dedicate yourself to the survival of
a species' offspring, you bypass most of the logic and turn the
emotions to your side.

Some of you call yourselves coldblooded and practical.  We've been
that way so long it's pretty much bred into us.

Even if you kill every dog there is, we'll win.  You'd carry the guilt
of deliberately exterminating a species for the rest of your species'
existence.

We know you too well.  After all, we made you what you are.

It all boils down to one thing.

Sex in marketing.  We dogs invented it and mastered it long before
anyone else.

How's it feel to be disciples rather than gods?
======

End: The K9 Point of View (misc work) 

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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