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Subject: {ASSM} The Genie Chronicles 1-3/3 (genie) TBD
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Date: Sat, 14 Apr 2012 23:10:02 -0400
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sighs...  It ain't about World Peace, but it does have peace as the
theme...

Sort of.
---------

Genies, Inc
-----

"Gimme another shot, Bill."

"You sure?"

"Yeah.  You worried?"

"Uh huh."

"Get the portable breathalyzer and test me."
.
.
.
"Hey!  This thing must be broken.  Says you're stone sober, and I just
watched you put away three quick ones."

"Try it on someone else, before you panic."

"Yeah.  Good point.  Ned should be a good test.  Always gives me the
same reading.  Never seen a lush who maintains the control he does."
.
.
.
"Same reading as always.  Let me check you again...  Damn.  Nothing,
again."

"Want to see something weird?  Let me take that shot, then you can
test me."
.
.
.
"Ok.  What's going on?  You got some way of putting the hoodoo on this
thing?"

"Ever wonder why genies cop an attitude when someone drags them out of
their lamp or whatever?"

"What's that got to do with you being sober?"

"Tell your help you're going to be busy listening to someone who needs
a shoulder.  Then, I'll tell you a story..."

* * *

It was a dark and stormy night.  The doorbell rang and the neighbor's
dog barked.  

Yeah, yeah.  I know.  Sounds stupid, but I'm telling you what
happened, not trying to write bad fiction.

So, I pause the movie and go open the door, to see this lawyer looking
type holding out a business card and a PDA.  "Here.  Been reading your
posts on the net.  Two things you need to remember:  Basic enlistment
term is five hundred years, and you're on your own."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

He grinned at me.  "Take these out of my hand.  The PDA has been
ruggedized, but it's gotta last until you replace it with something
else, so no point in being careless with it."

So I took them, very gingerly, because I still wasn't sure if this was
some weird process serving trick, and when nothing happened and he
didn't make the usual announcement, I started hoping he'd tell me what
was going on.

He did, sort of.  "Remember wishing you had a chance to be a genie,
because you could do a better job?"

"Yeah?  So?"

"I was the Genie for this area, and my last act is granting you your
wish. See you in five hundred years."

He didn't do any of that poof stuff, or anything dramatic, just
climbed into a Mini Cooper and drove off.

That was six months ago.

"Ah.  Now I get it.  You have that look about you."

"You, too?  I though bar tenders were immune."

"Usually we are.  Genies and stuff like that, though...  Most of the
time we ignore it, and they have it under better control."

"Control?  How can I control something I can't see?  When I look in
the mirror, all I see is me, nothing special, ya know?"

"Wish I could help ya, buddy."

"Arrrggghhh!   Did you have to say that word?"

"Shit!  Does this  mean?"

"Not yet.  Sets up a temporary conflict because of the impossible
conditions, until they are no longer impossible.  I'm stuck with the
job for five hundred years, and the rule about being on my own is in
effect."

"Got it.  You mentioned copping an attitude?"

"Yeah.  See, it ain't only humans.  Anything that's alive can talk to
me, and all of them can tell I'm a genie, somehow.  No such thing as
time for myself, because everywhere I go, I get the wish fulfillment
demands.  Only way to escape them is to hide out."

"Ah.  The bottle stuff or the hidden lamp and special conditions,
right?"

"If I have it figured out, yes.  See this PDA?  It's my lamp."

"I thought the dark and stormy stuff was silly, but you're serious,
aren't you?"

"Yep.  Can't be destroyed, of course, and it has nonvolatile memory so
removing the batteries won't cause data loss.  So, I'm going to grant
your wish, after all.  After I download myself to it, get rid of the
batteries and figure out something to do with it so it doesn't get
found for quite a while."

* * *

There was a silent flash of subdued light, and the PDA landed on the
bar top.

Bill looked down, and seemed to notice it for the first time.

"Huh.  Guy moves faster than I expected for the load he was carrying.
Forgot his PDA."

He picked it up and studied it.  "Guess I'd better pull the batteries
and stick it in the safe.  He's been a regular, so he should be back
for it, eventually."
-----

End: chp 1
======

The Genie Chronicles - 02
------

"Hey, Billy!"

"Yeah?"

"I can't believe some of the stuff I'm finding in your safe."

"You'll add to it, and someday your replacement will tell you the same
thing."

"Probably.  You ever think about selling some of this stuff after it's
been here awhile?"

"Not seriously.  Part of the unwritten code of bartending.  People do
come back, sometimes.  I also dedicated that one computer to
maintaining the inventory list, and as much as I could remember about
whoever left an item.  Appreciate it if you keep up the tradition."

"Part of the atmosphere?  Yeah.  I can see it.  Sure.  I'll do it it,
and not just because it's good for business...

"Hey!  Where the Hell did this thing come from?"

"What 'thing'?"

"This PDA.  It's an antique, but I remember seeing articles about
them.  Top of the line in their day."

"Let me see it...  Don't remember anything about it.  According to the
date on the tag, it's been in there over thirty years, and the stuff
on the market is better, anyway.  It's yours if you want it.  Maybe
you can give it to one of your kids for a toy."

"I'll take it, but not for my kids.  I want it for me.  This model
hasn't changed much over the years, and I think there's an upgrade
available for it.  These things are like the Rolexes of PDAs.  People
write them into their wills and stuff like that.  Hard to believe
whoever forgot it didn't miss it and keep looking for it."

"Whatever.  You can finish rooting in the safe later.  Sign the
transfer of ownership papers so I can go home and enjoy my
retirement."

"Cynic."

"Give yourself another thiry years or so, after you've seen everything
and heard it all so many times you can tell the story of someone's
life as soon as they speak the first sentence."

* * *

I don't get it.  How can you have someone leave one of these and not
remember any other details?  Looks like Billy cared enough to pull the
batteries so they wouldn't corrode things.

They look ok.  Probably dead, but what the heck?  Finding one of these
PDAs is an even longer shot, in my book.  Might as well try them out.
If they don't work, I can stop on the way home and get some
replacements.
.
.
.
I'm beginning to understand why folks are so possessive of these
things.  Can't believe those antiques have a full charge, and this
thing booted without needing to be reset.

Customized, too.  Makes even less sense, that the owner didn't come
back for it.  Wonder if that's a scan of his face?  Looks pretty real.
Good animation, the way the eyes opened and seem to be watching me
after it finished booting.

Ok.  Let's see if I can find the help or instructions...

Huh?  'Touch here?'  Never heard of a PDA this old being that
customizable.  Maybe it's a delay loop in case you don't do anything
as soon as you turn it on.  Whatever....

File manager.  Card games.  Spreadsheet.  Address book.  Other
Games...  Yeah, let's see what folks did to entertain themselves.
Maybe I can find something that I can charge the patrons to play.

Pinball.  Minesweeper.  Looks like that stuff never changes...  Wait.
Biorhythm.  That's unusual, but not a game, for most people.

What's this one?  Wish Fulfillment 2.0 beta?  Never heard of that one.
Must be a mini RPG.  Worth checking out.

Damn.  There's that face again, and this time it winked at me.

"Hello, Daniel.  You really should think about consequences before you
open that can of worms."

"Huh?!   Oh.  I get it.  Guy who owned this must have had the same
name."

"Well, no.  My name was Richard.  Since it's just the two of us, you
can call me 'Genie'.  No need for formality, right, 'Rag Twister'?"

I flinched.  "No way a program could know my working nick name!  I
don't care how good these things were, it didn't have any batteries in
it when I found it."

"Who said I was a program?"

"But..."

"Don't make assumptions.  Since you haven't opened the program the
rest of the way, I'm going back to what I was doing when you
interrupted me.  Take my advice, and treat this thing like an ordinary
PDA.  Stay away from that wish fulfillment stuff if you know what's
good for you."

The PDA shut itself off before I could think of anything to say, then
it rebooted and the face watched me briefly.  "You don't need the
upgrades.  Already done.  Besides, they won't install unless I let
them."

It shut itself off again, and this time, stayed off.
---

End: Chp 2
======

The Genie Chronicles 03
------

"I'll take the heavy duty Fleshlight, with the firm insert."

"Anything else?  Some long duration lube?"

"Nahh...  I already have lots of stuff I can use for a lube.  I'll
experiment first."

"So that's it?"

"Let me think...  Yeah.  Better give me two more of those firm
inserts...  Make it three, total, and put the extended warranty on all
of it."

"Extra batteries?"

"This isn't my only toy.  I have plenty of batteries already.  Total
it.  Run my card as debit."
.
.
.
"Have a pleasant day, sir."

"I plan on it."

* * *

Not bad, really.  Maybe I can figure out some way to brace this thing
so I can really fuck the shit out of it.  At least it's tighter than a
real woman.

I kept stroking, and finally the novelty took me over the edge and I
orgasmed.  I kept fucking and I noticed that my semen oozed past my
penis.

Oh, well, extra lube.  Be nice if it had some sort of reservoir, but
that would make it harder to clean.

I can live with it.

Just for the heck of it I let go and watched it dangle.

I grinned.  "Now, that's what I call a tight cunt.  Sure wish I could
find a woman who was that tight."

*POOF!*

Suddenly there was a woman wrapped around my dick, and she felt just
like the Fleshlight had.

"What the fuck is going on?!"

"You rubbed me and then made a wish."

"I thought Genies lived in lamps or bottles.  Aren't you supposed to
appear *before* you grant my wish?"

"Honey, the rules are subject to personal interpretation.  It has
'light' in its name, and that's close enough to lamp."

"I suppose the order you do things is also 'personal interpretation'?"

"I'm a woman, with needs, as much as I am a Genie.  But that wasn't
the real reason I took so long to appear."

"Oh?"

"I wanted to have my orgasm, first, and it felt like you'd be able to
give me one.  You did."

"Uhh...  Ok.  What happens now?  How many wishes do I get?"

"Let's discuss that, after you take care of my wish.  Fuck me until I
pass out."

"What happens if I go limp first?"

"Silly man.  You can't, until I allow it.  That's part of *my* wish,
so it doesn't count."

"Oh.  Umm...  You have a name, other than 'Genie'?"

"Eunice, until you give me a new one.  My last mortal liked word play,
but wasn't as creative as he thought he was.  Stay away from
variations on 'Genie'." 

"Uh...  Bad negotiating position, if I don't?"

"Very bad."

"How does 'Millie' sound?"

"Depends on your justification."

"If your cunt stays this tight, you'll be a million times better than
any other woman I've fucked."

"You've significantly improved your negotiating position."

"Good.  One more thing.  If you want to feel my semen pulse into you,
you're going to have to deal with that on your own.  I like the
sensations of the orgasm, not cleaning up afterwards."

"Another improvement.  My turn.  Fuck me."

"That's it?"

"Of course.  Consider it rubbing my lamp again, then I'll grant you
another wish."

"Sounds like the order of actions doesn't matter."

"Never did.  Quit thinking.  More action."
----------

End - The Genie Chronicles 03
End: The Genie Chronicles
======

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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