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Subject: {ASSM} Summer Nights 1-2/3 (zoo/best, M/bitch, MF, Fdog) TBD
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Date: Fri, 06 Apr 2012 12:10:41 -0400
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Author's note:  There is a third chapter to this one.  It was posted
on Writer's Block and deleted from my archives.
---

zoo/best M/bitch MF
----

Summer Nights - Dreams Lost and Life Lived
----

Lotus and I have been working in the yard.  Training really.  She's
trained as an SAR (search and rescue) dog and at least once a week,
the two of us dedicate part of a day to play some 'games' that keep us
both at the peak of our skills.

I smile as I remove all her gear.  "That's it kid, you can relax now."
She looks at me and then shakes herself before taking off at a dead
run to go investigate along the fence.

I grin as I watch her.  She's beautiful and certainly not the
terrified and uncertain bitch I brought home after rescuing her about
two years ago.

I bend over to put everything away in her pack and flinch slightly as
she comes up from behind and gently nudges me.  The slight breeze
wafts a pungent odor to me.

Oh.  No wonder she's been impatient to get done.  Instead of returning
to the house, I settle on the grass and grin as she puts her nose to
my lips and tries to wedge her tongue through them.

"A kiss, is it?"  I'm laughing at her aggressive insistence.  "I guess
we better go somewhere a bit more private so we can relax."  Her ears
perk forward and I hear a whine of eagerness.

"OK kid...  Let's go relax a bit."  The whine changes to barks of
happiness as she turns and runs for the house.

We've been working and playing in the open part of our yard.  'Relax a
bit' is my private 'code phrase' to let Lotus know I'm ready for some
sexual fun with her.

Even though many of our neighbors know about us, I do maintain
appearances and confine our actual sex to the house and our back yard.

Lotus races back to where I am beginning to rise.  She prods me and
then bounces around me in her enthusiasm.  I'm moving much too slowly
to suit her.  She looks at me and then at the back gate.  I watch as
she starts to take off again and then laugh as she gets a few paces in
front of me and slows down.  Frequent glances over her shoulder tell
me louder than words that I am  moving too slowly to suit her.  As we
cross the lawn I wave to one of our neighbors and get a smile in
return.

I eventually get to the gate and go though it.  As it clicks shut
behind us, I have to brace myself as I get two eager front feet
planted in the middle of my chest.

"OK, already!"  I grin as the two of us give in to our desires.  As I
head for the old hide-a-bed, I start removing my clothing.  I settle
on the edge as Lotus bounces up from the end and comes over to nuzzle
the side of my face.  A cold nose between my buttocks as I remove my
pants and shorts nearly overbalances me.

Laughing, stimulated, I reposition myself and spread my legs for her.
With that silent signal, our foreplay begins.

Part of me takes the time to smile as I consider our situation.  If
anyone does see us making love, they will have had to make a
deliberate effort to observe us.  That would include finding a way to
see through an 8 foot high wooden fence.

Since I prefer to spend all of my time at home in the nude, the fence
was pretty much a necessity.  Of course being able to make love under
the stars is nice, too.

"Hey, you.  Bitchlet."  She pauses and looks at me.  "Dinner?"

A graceful leap over my body and the sound of toenails on wood are her
answer.  She vanishes through the dog door.  I follow her at a more
sedate pace.

I chuckle as I put together her dinner and set it down for her. Before
I get very far in making mine, I can look over to my side and see her
settled there and patiently waiting for whatever I happen to send her
way.

"You're hopeless.  You know that, young bitch?"  All I get as a
response is a twitch of her ears.

Eventually I settle at the table and eat.  Somehow, random pieces of
my food seem to head in someone's general direction.  The food never
touches the floor.  She's had lots of practice at playing catch with
table scraps.

Once I finish my dinner the two of us go back outside and resettle on
the hide-a-bed.  Watching the ever-changing colors of sunset is
something I enjoy doing.  Lotus, with endearing simplicity, has
settled next to me and quietly lets me know that I should be paying
attention to her as long as I'm not doing anything else.

Oh...  I have the porch designed so the ends are closed and the front
can be left open, screened or closed in with full length storm
windows.  An open pit BBQ serves to keep it warm during the colder
parts of the year.

It took me almost a year of working in my spare time to get it done
the way I wanted it.

Right now, I have the screens in place and the fire is nothing more
than glowing embers after grilling dinner.

Naked, I have my legs slightly spread and Lotus has her chin resting
on one thigh.  Every so often, she nuzzles my crotch and licks me.

When she notices I am watching her, she becomes firmer in her
attentions.  As I get hard, her tongue moves to wash my penis and then
trail down to my balls.

I shiver a bit as her tongue trails though my crotch and down to my
ass...  Unashamedly, I moan and arch myself into her attentions.

My obvious pleasure serves to excite her even more.  Her licking
becomes faster, her breathing a bit ragged as she forgets to take
normal breaths.

As I slide myself backwards so I can prop myself on the back cushions,
she inches along with me.

The feel of her fur on my naked body is electrifying.  Sensuous.
Erotic.

It inflames me.

She inflames me.

As I gaze at her, I no longer see a bitch.

I see my wife.

My lover.

My dearest love and companion.

She is all of these and far, far more.

"Hey Beautiful..."  The words are tenderly and softly spoken.  The
barest whisper of sound.

Lotus pauses and looks at me with those fantastically expressive eyes
as I reach to lightly caress her head.

She stretches her head and rests her chin on my belly as I pet her and
murmur sweet words of love and appreciation.

The words have never mattered.  My tone says everything as I tell her
how much a part of my life she is and how important a role she plays
in it.  My hands, especially my fingers, are gently speaking to her in
our private language.

If I find anything in her fur, I gently remove it.  Our mood isn't
destroyed by this but enhanced.  Her skin and muscles respond to my
pressures as she starts getting aroused and shifts to make it easier
for me.

This quiet grooming is an important part of our foreplay.  We both
know what will follow.

Sex.

Passionate.  Intense.  The kind of sex that only two lovers who have
been together for a long time can have.

This evening is going to be one of those times when the sex itself
will be incidental to our being together.  I can feel that and somehow
Lotus senses it as well.  Instead of slowly working her way up my body
until her vulva is pressing on my penis, she begins to gently wash my
chest and chin.

Slowly but with a laughing gleam in her eyes, she raises her nose and
begins to lick my mouth.

I am lost.

I hug her close and close my eyes.

I open my mouth as I relax completely.

Lotus will have HER way with me tonight.

Passive, but alert to her actions, I relax and follow her lead.

* * *

Warn afterglow.

Satiation.

Physically and emotionally spent, my mind drifts on feathery clouds of
the past.

* * *

"My god, Paul...

"If I didn't know better, I'd swear Lotus has the hots for you.

"If I was like that with a man, we'd be fucking our brains out pretty
soon."

Lynne, Lotus and I are relaxing after dinner.

Still clothed (to set the scene), we have settled on the couch to
watch the sunset.

Lotus has settled on the side opposite to Lynne and is doing her best
to kiss me and otherwise let me know she has plans for us later - if
not sooner.

"She's teasing me right now.  Letting me know she's 'in the mood' and
hopes I will fuck her.

"Yes, she does 'have the hots' for me.

"We've spent a lot of times together like this.  I expect we will
spend many more as well."

I am watching Lynne's eyes as I speak.  The stunned silence and slight
gasp are all I need to let me know that casually mentioned things and
casual actions are suddenly falling into place in her mind.

I've had a lot of practice at letting others know my main sexual
orientation is to bitches.

I choose my 'victims' carefully and spend months, sometimes years,
preparing them for the final revelation.

"I never knew...  Never suspected...

"How can you sit there and be so relaxed about admitting to fucking
Lotus?"

"I only look relaxed."  I put a shrug in my voice.  "I'm a little
nervous but I wouldn't be telling you if I didn't feel you would
accept that we have a sexual relationship.

"You aren't the first person I've told.  I've had lots of practice at
telling others.

"The bottom line is that even if you did never see me again or tried
to turn me in...

"Lotus and I will still be together and what we do is legal here."

I grin at Lynne.  "Besides...  What would you do?  Turn me in for
'abuse'?

"Her vet knows.  You were with me when I brought her home.  Can you
honestly feel that I abuse her?

"You're the one who pointed out that she is after me sexually.

"I'm not forcing her to do anything other than be patient."  I let my
eyes smile along with my voice.  "Most would call it foreplay or
seduction.  Not abuse."

"We're as discreet as any couple would be.  We confine our intimate
times to when we are alone or with very close friends.  Our public
displays of affection are not really different than what two human
lovers would do or what is expected between a dog and a person who
work together as closely as we do."

"I'll grant you that she's a bitch and not a human.  The thing is,
Lotus is not 'just an animal'.  She's an adult in her own right.  Not
a child."

I stop and take a deep breath.  "Sorry.  I tend to go off sometimes.
It's not often I speak my views to someone in person.  "I'll stop and
let you take over."

I settle back to await Lynne's comments.

* * *

I chuckle.  The chuckle releases a tension I didn't know I was
feeling.

After the amount of time I've known Paul, his sudden switches of mood
and subject are a delight to me rather than the shock they first were.

I suppose it's because most of the time I can follow his logic. These
days I don't see his rapid switches as abrupt changes.

Sometimes he is maddeningly frustrating.  When we first met I would
accuse him of being cynical or awesomely innocent about some parts of
life.

Then, over time, I realized he usually *chooses* to appear simpler
than he is.

Do I love him?  Yes and no.

Does he love me?  Yes.

He loves everyone to a greater or lesser degree.

Now, at last, I begin to see the reasons he can be so maddeningly
obtuse about my normal sexual signals.

He usually teases me when I use them.  Sometimes he plays up to them.
At other times he ignores them.  I never know which it will be.  What
works once may not work again for some time.  On the other hand, after
months of getting to know each other, I finally accepted that the one
thing that will always get his attention is openness and honesty.  It
was a difficult lesson for me to learn.

Unlike most men I've met, he doesn't always let the hormones take
over.  Now, finally, I know that if he does and nothing happens...
Well, he returns to Lotus and *they* take advantage of his arousal.

Ruefully, I realize I've been treating Paul as a normal single man.  I
never realized he's already partnered with Lotus and she sees their
relationship the same way.

"Paul?  Has it all been a game?  Have you been secretly laughing at me
when I get you aroused and then leave you hanging?  Have you
deliberately left me hanging as some sort of joke?"  I trail off as I
figure out I already know the answer.

"No...  never mind.  I know you well enough to realize you haven't
been mind-fucking me about sex."

He settles Lotus at his side and then raises his right arm clear in an
invitation to snuggle.  I wiggle around and let myself focus on
getting comfortable before I return to the subject at hand.

When he starts to speak, I silence him.  "Let me think about this.

"Your admission is damn sudden and I have so many questions and
thoughts that I don't know what to say first.

"Well, not really sudden.  Just that I'm a bit surprised that I never
got the message a long time ago.  When I remember some things I can't
believe how damned *obvious* you and Lotus have been in public--
sometimes."

I feel more than hear his chuckle.  "Well, I've felt for a long time
now that as long as I'm not defensive about Lotus and her public
actions most people will just assume that she cares so much that I
can't contain her actions sometimes.  'Dogs will be dogs'.  I use that
to misdirect people a lot."

"Lotus is so happy and confident about being cared for that she thinks
everyone is her friend now."  I finish it for him.

"You took in a bitch who was so abused that she feared everything and
everyone.  Now, she's at the other extreme.  No, I'll never see you as
an abuser.  Not after watching you give Lotus back herself.  I've been
here for the entire process."

"I'd like to think that sex wasn't a part of that."  I hesitate before
rushing on.  "Or was it?  When did the two of you start making love to
each other and did it help her recover from being abused?"

Funny how my mind works sometimes.  Already I don't picture Paul and
Lotus as just fucking.  I know how they feel about each other. 'Making
love'- is what fits what they must do together sexually. It has to be
an affirmation of their feelings for each other and an enhancement to
an already close and committed relationship.

I know Paul's tones of love and care.  I've heard them directed to me.
Thinking back, he has always been the same with Lotus.  Love can't
hide if you know what to look for.  His love for her has always been
there.  I never thought to look for any indication they are sexually
involved with each other.

"Waitaminutehere..."  I stiffen as I realize something.  "So that's
how come you didn't always respond to me when I wanted sex. You only
responded completely when I was not using sex to manipulate you. You
weren't lying when you claimed to be not like most other men."

"Self-respect.  You've been working on both of us haven't you?

"Damn but you're sneaky.  You even told me openly how to get you in
bed.  'I'm interested and willing to have sex with you.  All you have
to do is ask.  No games.' "

* * *

"Well, none of the 'use the promise of sex to get your way' games
anyway."  I let my voice grin.  "Now the usual man/woman stuff... That
I usually don't mind playing.  Especially if the other person is
skilled at it as well.  I enjoy being around women and relaxing.  I
really do enjoy women as partners mentally and physically.  I don't
know if you noticed but I don't get intimate with a woman unless Lotus
gives her approval first.  Allowing someone into our private lives is
a joint decision."

"Before you ask, yes, part of my being active with women is a way to
hide my true relationship with the dogs I've had in my life.  But,
that aspect is something I have always seen as an unexpected fringe
benefit.

"After all, if I'm so obviously and blatantly 'normal'...  It takes a
longer leap to consider that I might just really 'love my dogs' in
more than the usual ways."

"As much as I love dogs and see them as the main focus of my emotional
and sexual fulfillment, I'm also a people person.  I usually enjoy
being around people and interacting with them.  One thing I don't
enjoy is most of the social stuff done in crowds.  That sort of
mindless dancing is something I find boring."

"I prefer to be one-on-one or with one or two close friends."  I hug
her close before I continue.  "What we're doing right now is my idea
of a perfect time together. A quiet evening spent in mutual relaxation
and/or exploration."
I pause to gather my thoughts.  The shared silence is something I
enjoy with Lynne.  I suppose part of that is because shared silence is
part of my daily life.  I've found few people who share my enjoyment
of just quietly being together.
Non-verbal communication has been almost all I have ever known when
being with my canine lovers.  It's natural that I seek it in any human
companion.

"Depends on what you call 'having sex' I suppose.  I had to overcome
her reluctance to being touched and that included being groomed and
handled anywhere."

"I spent the first few weeks letting her come to me on her own terms.
I let her decide if she has been given enough attention.  I used
gentle words filled with love to coax her into letting me increase the
amount of petting I did.  All my touches were light and gentle.  I
allowed her to draw away if she felt uncomfortable."

"That was the main thing early on.  Not forcing her in any way.  I had
to let her realize she had a say in how we interacted.  I had to
convince her that her decisions really did matter and I would listen
to her.  Eventually, we managed to form a basic partnership."

"All I could honestly hope for was for Lotus to decide to stay and
allow me into her life.  Any sexual affection was a dream.  Sexual
interaction was something I could hope for but I also accepted it
would have to happen on her terms - if ever."

"I'm honest enough to admit I did everything I could to seduce her and
let her know that it could be enjoyable.  Once she decided to allow
sex, I kept right on with the patterns I had used to seduce her.  We
do have times when we are after raw sex but generally there is a lot
of foreplay and seduction going on between us.  Like any lovers, we've
developed our own private language."

"No matter how driven I was, if she decided 'no', I accepted it.  I
still accept her decision when she tells me no.  Actually, while her
refusals are something that I treat as absolute, she knows that mine
sometimes aren't.  She'll sometimes put more effort into seducing me
if I've simply had a bad day and don't feel completely ready for sex.
She succeeds a lot too."  I smile as I remember some of her past
seductions.  "I also privately allowed her any inspection of my body
and told her how much I enjoyed it.  I let her learn that I wouldn't
get mad or punish her if she nosed me intimately.  Quite the contrary.
I went out of my way to praise her when she decided to inspect me."

"The first time she nuzzled my crotch and then settled with her nose
across my legs and went to sleep, I had a hell of a time sleeping. The
feel of fur in my crotch has always excited me."

"Sometime in the first month, she discovered how much she enjoys
belly-rubs.  Eventually we wound up with her on her back with all four
legs spread and me gently petting her.  It was during those times that
I slowly worked my way to her vulva.  Ironically, as a result of those
times, she prefers to be on her back when we make love."

"It really wasn't that long after the bellyrubs started before she
allowed me to gently massage her vulva and clitoris."

"I know a lot of people would call it training her.  Stop and consider
how we learn about sex.  We call it seduction and exploration but in a
real sense, we are trained by our early experiences.  What happened
between Lotus and I was the same type of interaction.  Each of us
would try something and learn if the other enjoyed it or not.
Eventually we discovered those actions that bring us mutual pleasure
and learned to avoid the things that one of us doesn't enjoy."

"Each day we learned a bit more about ourselves.  From my point of
view, I was helping Lotus become more aware of her own likes and
dislikes.  I was open to and accepted whatever she decided she wanted
to do or not do."

"Eventually, with the aid of a sex lube, I penetrated her with one
finger and began stretching her."

"I had hopes at that point.  Even so, I knew that there would be a
chance she would never permit a full sexual relationship."

"To help her get past the shock of going from fingers to my penis, I
slept in the nude with our crotches touching."

"I started masturbating myself when we were together like that."

"She would lay there and then sometimes clean us both up after I
orgasmed."

"Eventually, there was partial penetration and finally full
penetration."

"You answered your own question though.  Sex was never a part of her
recovery.  If you can't remember noticing a change in our
relationship, that seems to me to be a pretty good indication of how
little it mattered."

"Call it about three months or so after I got her before our first
real sex together.  Sex that was very gentle really.  Many times, we
would couple and just go to sleep in that position.  The raw, driving
sex didn't start until much later."

"Certainly there were bobbles on my part.  Times when it was all I
could do to back off when she indicated she wasn't ready or decided
that she had enough in the middle of a session."

"Just as there is in any relationship, there has been a lot of mutual
learning involved.  No relationship has ever been perfect from the
beginning and ours was certainly no exception to that rule.  We've
managed to get past the occasional problem though.  If she didn't care
deeply for me, she could have left a long time ago.  The only chain
I've used to keep her here is love."  I fall silent and reach to
lightly pet Lotus.  She has fallen asleep and twitches in some dream.

"Trust?"  I murmur.  "Well, if she didn't trust, my touch while she's
asleep wouldn't calm her in her nightmares without waking her up."

* * *

Paul's quiet comment and then silence tells me he's said all he's
going to say for now.  In his rambling fashion, he's answered many of
my questions.  I have others.

"When you rescued Lotus did you do so expecting to someday fuck her?"

"Yes.  Hoped really.  She wouldn't be the first bitch in my life that
didn't want a sexual relationship.  No, I would not have turned her
out if sex had never happened.  Maybe someday I would have gone
looking for another bitch to share that much but she would have
remained senior to any other dogs."  His voice has a bit of wryness in
it.  "Now?  Well, I'll never know will I?"

As I think about his relationship with Lotus and how what he has told
me changes ours, I discover the answer to something about us that I
had often wondered about but never felt brave enough to ask.  "No
wonder you never acted possessive of me once we had sex together.  I
was never a male conquest in your eyes.  I've always sort of felt that
you are indifferent to me.  I expected you to be more focussed on me
once we started making love."

"I never realized how differently we actually see sex as part of a
relationship.  In spite of my words that *I* could take it or leave
it.  That sex is a completion...  I still, deep down, see sex
primarily as a commitment.

"From that, it has shaped how I treat anyone.

"For you, it truly is secondary.  An affirmation of something already
shared."

I barely hear Paul's gentle words as I drift into sleep.  "The
commitment has always been there.  I've been waiting a long time for a
woman to say and mean it on that level after she finds out I also love
my bitch."

"I love you Lynne."

* * *

I realize I've drifted off and look outward again, at Lotus.  Our eyes
meet and we share our smiles. "Well, Lynne wasn't the one, was she?"
There's something special in her brown eyes when I lean down and kiss
her nose gently before letting myself return to the past.

* * *

"Neither one of us really wants to admit the truth do we?"  My quiet
comment and sigh tell Lynne I too have been looking for a way to deal
with the last few months.

We aren't indifferent to each other.

Nor can I honestly say we have grown apart since I told her that I
love Lotus.

It is more that Lynne and I have accepted that while we are very close
emotionally, sexually, there is a distance between us that we will
never fully bridge.

Our sex is good, it's intense.  It's more than screwing.

But...

There isn't that true meeting of souls we have both wished for.

I watch her shrug.  "You're right.  It's pretty obvious after all the
time we've known each other."

"I can't help it.  I'm not Lotus."  She settles next to me with a
sigh.  "No, that's not all of it.  Let me see if I can find the words
to tell you a story."

* * *

"Several years ago I met this man.  He was single.  He was relaxed. He
was mature.  He was  earthy and relaxed about sex, his sexuality - and
much more."

"In short, he was someone I wanted to know more than casually."

"Not that he treated me differently than any of the other women he
met."

"Somehow, he seemed to be usually able to interact with women so they
didn't take offense at his sometimes pointed comments."

"If they were earthy, he responded as an earthy male.  If a woman was
tense or moody, most of the time, he was able to match their moods and
most importantly, treat them as special people rather than faceless
customers."

"Bluntly, he usually had this knack of letting them know that he saw
them as real people.  That they were important in their own right."

"Oh, sure, he made mistakes.  What man doesn't when it comes to
dealing with women?"

"Since I'm trying to be honest here, I have to admit women make
mistakes with men as well.  Overall, he was no more 'successful' or a
'failure' than any other men I've known."

"Except...  Somehow, in spite of his being single and not being very
active socially, he was less liable to stress out than most."

"Calling him a 'gentleman' wouldn't be quite right because they don't,
as I was taught anyway, make the rather pointed comments that he made
to women."

"Yet, he made me feel more like a 'lady' than I had ever felt before."

"I was never sure if he was 'hunting' or not."

"How can I explain how it looked?"

"There you were.  Single.  Living alone with your bitch.  No real
social life that I or anyone I talked to could discover."

"I really never paid much attention to your 'invitations'."

"'I'm easy, just ask me.'  Every guy does that.  It's all part of the
game we play.  So, even in the way you dealt with women, you seemed to
be normal."

"Since you were usually smiling when you said it, I couldn't tell how
serious you were.  It's such an old line that I ignored it at first."

"I guess it was frustration that made me take you at your word.  You
had ignored all my signals that I wanted to get to know you better."

"So, I finally asked you if you'd be interested in dinner somewhere.
That was when I discovered how truthful you had been.  Your ready
agreement about it and the co-operation in deciding when and where.
Not that is was really co-operation.  It was more 'You decide and I'll
tell you if there is some reason I can't make it'."

"Not many people are that flexible."

"So, we met and talked."

"How can I put this?  You seemed to have a 'hunger' to visit and
relax.  That and an openness I still have trouble with at times."

"Once you explained your relationship with Lotus, I was able to fill
in the missing pieces and understand you better."

"You're a dog.  Oh, not in all ways.  But, there's enough of the
emotional attitude there to make it impossible for me to be fully
comfortable around you."

"I also feel it is something that will always stand in the way of a
serious relationship between you and any 'normal' woman."

"You and I see the world differently in some fundamental areas."

"So, as you've already figured out, about all I can see for us is
'just friends'.  There's no point in trying for more."

* * *

I hugged Lynne after she fell silent.

"I'd be lying if I said many of the things you mention hadn't occurred
to me.  Unfortunately, they have."

"At least you're willing to stay friends after learning about Lotus
and me.  I can't begin to tell you how special that makes you."

After a long silence I reached for my wallet.  I got out a one dollar
bill and looked at it thoughtfully.  Eventually I grabbed a pen and
scrawled my name across it.

I offered the pen and bill to Lynne.  "Care to sign it?  Then we can
tear it in half and each keep part."  I looked away to hide the tears
that were starting to flow.  "Something to remember
'might-have-been'."

I felt her remove them and there was a long silence.

"Paul?  Would you look at me please?"  I turned back and saw that she
was crying as well.  She held up the bill in one hand.  "Would you
help me tear this?  Who knows?  Maybe someday things will change and
'might-have-been' could actually become reality.  All we can say is
'not right now' - and that's not 'never'."

I reached and the sound of that dollar bill tearing in half hid the
inner scream as something inside me died.

I put my half in my wallet and she carefully put hers in her clutch
purse.

Our lovemaking that evening was filled with a tenderness that affirmed
what we did have and eased the pain of knowing that had things been
different, we would have been spending a long time together.

We stumbled through our good-byes as I prepared to leave.  We shared
final hug and a gentle kiss before I walked away from what had been
the best relationship in my life.
----

Note:  This one progressed in fits ever since I started it.  A
heartfelt "Thank you!" to Maria Gonzales and her Challenge.  That
challenge provided the idea and inspiration I needed to give this
story the direction it had been lacking for all that time.
====

zoo F/dog MF

This is my zoo answer to 'Maria's Challenge'.
----

Summer Nights - An Evening's Entertainment
----

As Lotus and I were checking the fence line, one of my neighbors, Kim,
motioned us over to visit.  After Lotus got her required attention,
Kim watched her wander off.

"Want to go see a special show tonight?"  Is that a blush being forced
down?

"Special?"  I'm cautious when Kim asks me something like this.  She
has an unusual sense of humor and she isn't afraid to use it on me.
"And what kind of show?"

"Something you might be interested in.  A dog and bitch show with a
dog fucking a woman."  She's definitely blushing.

"You're kidding.  I didn't know there was a woman around here willing
to do that."

"I've seen her in action.  She really gets into it.  More..."  She
hesitates and then rushes on.  "Like you are but willing to do it in
front of others."

That gets my attention.  Kim's a good judge of people.  If she thinks
the woman is a zoosexual, then I'm definitely interested.  "Sure, I'll
go.  She sounds like a person I might want to get to know."

* * *

We arrived at an ordinary house in a residential area on the other
side of town.  Kim and I had been talking a little on the way over.
She told me that the woman, who calls herself 'Justina Leggs', doesn't
live where she puts on her shows.  She has someone else provide the
place.  Not surprisingly, it's also expected that folks will give her
some sort of tip when they leave after the show.

Kim first heard about the show when one of her co-workers mentioned
her boyfriend had gone to see some woman let herself get screwed by a
dog.

Kim also mentioned Justina brings her own dog. I was surprised and
said so. "One of the guys asked her if she would fuck someone else's
dog.  'I prefer my lovers experienced' - was how she brushed him off."

I had to chuckle at that.  "Makes sense.  Especially if she really
does love her dog.  It would feel like you were cheating and wouldn't
be the same as being with a long time lover."

Not too long after we arrived, everyone was led into a large room that
was well lit and had chairs around a large bed.  Seated on the edge of
the bed was a woman who was naked except for a party mask over her
eyes and an obvious wig.  Next to her was a handsome German Shepherd.
She was petting him and didn't pay attention to anyone as we settled
ourselves.

"That's it Justina.  They're all yours, now."  Our host quietly closed
the door as he left.

Justina lifted her head and then shook her hair back before she swept
the room with her eyes.

One gesture and it was as if five years had vanished.

'Justina Leggs' was Lynne, the woman I probably would have married if
she hadn't been too uncomfortable with the relationship Lotus and I
shared. We'd agreed to stay friends after we admitted the spark wasn't
there but eventually I lost track of her.  When I remembered her, I
figured she had gotten on with her life and was happy.  During the
time we'd known each other, she'd never been one to dwell on the past
or let it hold her back.

Seeing her like this was a shock.  What could have made her take a dog
as her lover?

As her eyes scanned past me, there was no hint that she realized who I
was. Considering how close we'd been and how long we'd been lovers, I
had to accept that for whatever reasons, she didn't recognize me.  Of
course, I'd never been interested in sex shows as a way to get turned
on.

That lack of recognition was definitely going to be a problem.  I knew
that more than likely, once she had a chance to really get a good look
at me, she would recognize me.

It hurt to watch the 'show'.  All my doubts that this person could
possibly be Lynne were gone by the time she and her dog finished.  All
the gentle moves she and I had shared - were now shared with her
latest lover.  The little moans and grunts of pleasure that I
remembered as clearly as if we had just made love yesterday rather
than almost five years ago - were the same. Her subtle skin and muscle
shifts that I remembered as indicating her intense pleasure and
finally orgasm...  were all there.

I sighed deeply as Justina was calmly waiting for him to soften and
withdraw.

"Paul?"  Kim whispered in my ear.  "What's wrong?"

"Plenty.  I'm scared."  I squeezed her leg slightly.  "Later."

She looked as if she wanted to ask more but I shook my head.  She
looked at Justina and finally turned back to study me.  Whatever it
was she saw, it must have satisfied her because she wrapped an arm
around me and gave me a gentle hug.

I leaned into her and started crying.

When Justina finished with her dog, she settled on the edge of the bed
and calmly asked if there were any questions. She also smiled slightly
and said she'd take the time to visit with any of us privately - if we
wished.

After she answered the few questions people were willing to ask
openly, there was an awkward silence.  One of the men stood and then
walked over to place some money on the bed before he walked out.  That
was all it took to start a general exodus.  I noticed that most people
sort of looked embarrassed as they left money on the bed next to her
and thanked her or just looked away and stammered that they had
enjoyed the show.

Before I stood up, I pulled out my wallet and dug through it.  When
Kim's eyes widened and she started to comment on what I was about to
do, I shook my head and whispered "Not here.  I'll explain later."

While we waited for everyone else to leave I concealed the torn one
dollar bill - that held so many memories - in one hand.  As the last
person left we walked over to thank Justina.

"Hello Justina.  I appreciate what you shared with us.  I'd like to
give you this."  I reached down and gently tried to turn her hand
over.  I noticed she flinched slightly before she relaxed enough to
let me turn her hand palm up.  I showed her what I held and gently
placed it in her open palm.

She glanced down and then jerked her head back to stare at me.  Her
face turned white and she raised her hand to study what I had given
her.  She looked at me and I could sense her studying me.  I saw a
question start to form as her eyes flickered sideways to Kim.  "No,
she's only a neighbor who moved in a few years ago.  Nothing more.  I
haven't formed a serious attachment with a woman since..."  I pointed
at the torn bill.  "I'll wait around if you think I should."

"Paul?  It is really you?"  It was a mere breath of sound. I nodded
instead of saying anything.

She flushed and looked at Kim.  "How well do you know him?"

"If you are asking me if I know about Paul and Lotus, yes, I know that
much. The rest of it?"  She shrugged slightly.  "We're neighbors who
relax together sometimes.  Nothing more.  It was my idea to have him
come here.  I thought he'd be interested in meeting someone I thought
might be a zoosexual like he is.  I didn't know the two of you knew
each other until just now."

Justina turned her head and petted her dog.  Eventually she nodded
slowly. "Please.  Kim, I'd like to see Paul - alone - after everyone
else has had a chance to talk to me privately."

"Of course."  I turned my head slightly.  "Kim?"

Kim turned and studied Justina for a bit.  Her voice was gentle when
she finally spoke.  "Take as long as you need."

* * *

When I entered the room again, Justina pointed to one of the chairs
next to the bed.  I paused and then nodded before settling in it.

"Lynne?"

She flinched and shook her head.

"Lynne died about 4 years ago.  I'm Justina, now."

I nodded slowly.  "OK.  This..."  I gestured at the room and the dog.
I let my hand fall to my side.  There wasn't anything I could say that
would have fully expressed my shock and dismay.

She smiled slightly and then tilted her head to one side in a gesture
I remembered too well.  She was asking me to wait until she had the
words to say what she wanted to say.

I leaned back and waited.

"This could be a bit awkward, you know.  I call him 'Thunder'.  His
real name is Paul."  She turned away and hugged the dog.  His fur
muffled her next words.  "I nearly died after.  I needed a reminder
there was someone I once trusted.  Someone who was honest and didn't
betray me."

"I couldn't face you in person after it happened but I needed you
close.  I needed your support.  Paul here was my answer.  At first, he
was there to protect me.  He's attack trained.  The police..."  She
turned and I saw the anger in her eyes.  "Couldn't assure me they
would be in time to save me if it happened again."

I heard a low rumble and Paul shifted to watch me.  I froze until
Justina calmed him.

"Paul.  Meet Paul."  Her lips quirked ever so slightly.  Her eyes
though... Haunted.  Pain filled.  Terrified.  Then she returned. "He's
OK.  Friend. Good friend.  Go check him out."

He jumped off the bed and cautiously checked me over.  I held out my
hands with the backs facing him.  Our eyes met and held.  Without
breaking contact, I shifted my head slightly in her direction. "Well?"
I made it clear I was asking him for his opinion.

He turned away and studied her.  Eventually he raised his head and
sniffed deeply in her direction.  I watched as they studied each other
some more. She smiled ever so slightly, nodded, and then made a small
gesture in my direction with one hand.  His ears flickered slightly in
my direction and then back.  She nodded again.

His ears came all the way alert and he turned back to me.  That huge
head worked its way under  one of my hands and he lifted so my hand
slid up his nose.  I was accepted and his invitation was clear.  "Pet
me."  Cautiously, I did.  Apparently I was too cautious.  He got more
forceful in his demands for attention.

Eventually I looked up from my namesake.

"Congratulations.  You're still Paul."  I must have looked startled
because she continued.  "I ask.  He decides who we can trust."

"Oh."  I nodded slowly.  This wasn't the woman I had known almost five
years ago.  That person had complete faith in her ability to judge
people. Justina obviously had little faith in her skills.

What had happened?  How come she hadn't sought me out?  We parted
friends. No, more than friends.  We had still been lovers in every way
except physically.

What had happened to destroy that closeness and trust?

I sighed as I decided to take a chance.  "Do I get to know what
happened?  I can wait forever if need be.  This can be the last time
we ever meet if that's what you want from me..."

"NO!"  It was jerked from her.  "I've tried to imagine us meeting
again.  I never dreamed..."  She shrugged.  "Things will never be the
same for either of us.  I know that much."

She paused and called Paul back to her side.  "I don't know if I'll
ever again trust a human enough for sex.  Oh hell.  I don't know if
I'll ever be able to trust enough to let someone simply hold me and
comfort me."

She locked her eyes with mine.  There was fear in them.  And hunger.
"I've found you again.  I was so afraid of men I couldn't bring myself
to get in touch.  Yet, here you are."

"I don't want to lose you again.  I can't yet live with anyone who
would even hint at wanting me for their sexual pleasures.  I need
companionship but I can't stand to be held.  What are the chances that
I could find anyone else who would accept that and..."  There was a
long pause as she turned away and gazed at something only she could
see.  "What are the odds I could ever find someone who would
understand what Paul means to me?"

"I can't promise you anything.  I may never be able to cuddle with
you.  I may never be able to share what we once shared."  She lowered
her head and I barely heard her next words.

"I lost you once.  I don't want to lose you again.  I need *you* far
more than you'll ever need *me*."

I shivered.  I could see her pain.  I could feel it.  Her remembered
terror and what it had cost her to force herself to say those words
was obvious.  Her naked body was covered in sweat.  There was an odor
in the air that had nothing to do with the sex of a short time before.

She shuddered and then reached for her purse.  I was startled by how
quickly she found what she was looking for.  Gingerly, fearfully, she
stood up and faced me.  I could tell she was forcing herself to take
each hesitant step.  Her hands shook as she took one of my hands and
turned it over.  I watched as she carefully placed the other half of
that dollar in my hand.

"If you'll have me, I want to try and be Lynne again."

My mind drifted back to just over seven years ago.  I remembered the
years after I had decided to bring a terrified and insecure bitch into
my life. As those memories brought me back to the present, I closed my
hand around that torn bill.  "As I long ago did for Lotus...  I'll do
my best for you now."

"Welcome home.  Lynne."  I was rewarded with a spark of life in those
haunted eyes.

"Lotus."  She barely breathed it.  "I had forgotten..."

She closed her eyes as she started crying.  "Lotus returned with your
help. You've done something nobody has been able to do since..."  She
shivered.

"You've given me hope."

"Thank you."
====

End: Summer Nights

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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