Message-ID: <61961asstr$1333717805@assm.asstr-mirror.org> X-Original-To: ckought69@hotmail.com Delivered-To: ckought69@hotmail.com From: TBD <tbd@hushmail.me> X-Original-Message-ID: <k3trn795favq04g2c25fo6n1rt91vkp49f@4ax.com> Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit X-Auth-Sender: U2FsdGVkX19kcIPnUE9WSfxb84JCtAYej+UPQ28DkTEctd1pO/FXJg== Cancel-Lock: sha1:XBHlLqbveum/JcvejwfzDz8eyqw= X-ASSTR-Original-Date: Thu, 05 Apr 2012 12:38:47 -0700 Subject: {ASSM} Man and Muse 2/4 The Second Five Years (zoo/best. asst codes and topics) TBD Lines: 5773 Date: Fri, 06 Apr 2012 09:10:05 -0400 Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail Approved: <assm@asstr-mirror.org> Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d X-Archived-At: <URL:http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2012/61961> X-Moderator-Contact: ASSTR ASSM moderation <story-ckought69@hotmail.com> X-Story-Submission: <ckought69@hotmail.com> X-Moderator-ID: dennyw, RuiJorge More canon from the second five ears of posting 'Man & Muse' scenes. --- I introduced Mahika to the world of alt.sex.stories.d on May 10, 2001. What follows are the posts from 2007-2011 ===== As I recall, the whole thing started as something of an amusement in the newsgroup alt.sex.stories.d. Someone else, perhaps a few someones, had posted short scenes or comments about their Muses and how they interacted. I decided to join in, but in my own way. That meant, amongst other things, a bit of research to find a suitable name for the person who would become my 'Muse'. I found that name on a site with Algonquin names on it. Mahika means 'wolf clan' and the decision was made. Technically, Mahika is not a Muse. What follows is, for the first time, a description of Mahika as I envisioned her from the first. She was born in the very first days that man gained wit enough to ponder his place in the universe and tell tales. Her creator was close to the earth and the world around him, with a special reverence for wolves. We would call them his totem animal, but Mahika was more than that. She was earthy. She was brave. She was pragmatic. She was, then, a fairly simple goddess, if one can call such as she anything other than an elemental idea. When this man told tales, he was telling them in praise of her, for her. Yes, he was a bestialist, yet not a bestialist. His worldview was simpler than ours. There were probably semi-domesticated canines around but he loved wolves, had even made himself part of a pack's life, enough so that he and at least one of the female wolves were lovers, mated. Perhaps he was the then equivalent of a Shaman. Certainly, Mahika was made in the image of the lover he wished to have. Wolf. Shape shifter. Human. More than human. Mahika was called forth and given form. The man's creation, his vision, out lived him. Elementals, once given form, cannot die. Ages passed, tale tellers created other elementals, other muses, other forms of giving credit for what inspired them. Mahika, as time passed, found herself teamed with others. Some fitted her heritage better than others. Few ever understood her fully. Then, after tens of thousands of years, most of them spent holding herself aloof from the mundane world and the worlds of the gods, she felt a faint calling to her soul. It was the call of one who, unknowing, was laying the foundation stones of a life that would lead to something she'd waited for so long. The long odds of chance paid off. Soon she would have a creative partner who understood her as well, or sometimes better than the one who had created her. The tales of 'A Man and His Muse' are the story of our partnership and what it means to us. Over time characters I've created have crept in, to give us glimpses of their off stage lives. But, most importantly, we are not adversaries. We are partners, lovers, and sometimes we use guile or pretend to be partakers in the great game men and women play. Lovers do that, you know... When their love for each other is as deep and sure as ours is. Thanks for taking the time to peruse the brief glimpses into our lives, Thomas Galahalt and Mahika ==== &M, Glass Lounge, monologue ----- Glass Lounge Memories A Man & His Muse ----- Tom snuggles with Mahika and nuzzles her throat. He's settling in for a nice, cuddly afterglow session when the chime announcing an incoming message disturbs his enjoyment. "Mmmmm" He ignores it and goes back to nuzzling. "Aren't you going to at least see what it's about?" Mahika's comment is filled with the tones that indicate her mixed feelings about the interruption. He pauses in his nuzzling, then sighs and rolls onto his back. Gazing at the ceiling he enunciates. "Voice-commands. Latest-message-playback." They listen to the message and he sighs. "I'd call him a lazy sod but I know he's busier than I am with getting this forum going." She hugs him and laughs. "I don't mind. It's good to feel your creative touch." "Yah. There is that..." He drifts away, searching in his memories. Finally, "Voice-commands. Hopper. New item. Glass Lounge Memories. Begin." === I can't talk about the lounge without mentioning Desdmona's Fish Tank, which inspired it. Way back when, in ASSD (alt.sex.stories.d) Desdmona started a structured system for helping authors improve their work. It ran once a week, for something over 70+ weeks. Eventually she decided that a web based version would let her do things with the FT that she couldn't do in usenet and she moved it to a dedicated web site where it's busier than ever. That move left a hole in the activities in ASSD. There was lots of talk about the FT but nobody seemed to want to actually start a replacement. Eventually I tackled the job and after some discussions with others, the Glass Lounge was born. Essentially the rules were the same but instead of one person encouraging people and handling the initial posts, I set the GL up to be freely available to anyone who wished to use it, with my only input being the assignment of index numbers. Unfortunately, by then the membership in ASSD had changed significantly and there was little to no interest in actually using the GL. After a few, 4 or 5 uses iirc, I let the GL quietly die off and eventually turned all of my working notes over to Yotna and Esu, who had expressed an interest in reviving it in some form. From there, the story is mostly theirs. All I remember is that their attempt to revive it pretty much fell on deaf ears and again, it was dropped into limbo. In December of 2006 there was some mention of the Fish Tank and the Glass Lounge, as things done in the past, but now dead for lack of support and interest. As a result of this, I quietly posted a 'Man and Muse' short called 'Drunken Promises' in which I unofficially reopened the GL in ASSD. There was also some discussion by a couple of people who might, or might not, use the GL tag when they asked for help. And there things stood, until Yotna and Esu created 'Writer's Block'. Some discussion, some apologies on my part for forgetting that I no longer had any rights to the GL and then, finally, what you see here. I don't know what form it will take, other than being the name of this board. Those decisions are up to Yotna and Esu. Thanks friends, for reviving the Glass Lounge. I'm looking forward to whatever happens with it in its new home. <unashamed shill> Please, neighbors, give it your support and participation. </unashamed shill> ==== M&M, La Taverna, monologue ----- Holding Out for a Hot Muse A Man & His Muse ---- (For those of you unfamiliar with Tom and Mahika, they are both shape shifters. For this performance he is in his human form and much like he was in his twenties. Mahika has taken on her anthrowolf form, with pure white fur. If you insist on knowing what their voices sound like for the following number, imagine a sultry Karen Carpenter and Dean Martin.) Tom and Mahika step on the stage and whisper to the band. Words are exchanged, the arrangement agreed on and... They step into the spotlight. Tom bows. "Ladies and gentlemen... We thought we'd provide you with something a bit less serious than our usual work. For your amusement, we give you... "Holding out for a Hot Muse. (Mahika:) Where have all the good words gone? And where are all the dogs? Where's the word-wise dog of keys To quench my blazing needs? Isn't there a write knight with his fiery need? Late at night I toss and I turn and I dream of what I need. (Tom:) ("Hit it!") I need a hot Muse. I'm holding out for a hot Muse 'til the end of the write. I cannot be wrong And it's going to last. And it's gotta be fresh and done right. I need a hot Muse. I'm looking out for a hot Muse 'til I'm doing it right. She's gotta be near 'Cause it's gotta be done And she's gonna be part of my life. (Mahika:) Somewhere in my dark night. In my deepest fantasy. Out there just beyond my reach. He's calling, reaching out for me. Filling me with wonder and filling me with heat. He's gonna be the only one to keep me when we meet. (Tom:) I need a hot Muse. I'm holding out for a hot Muse 'til the end of the write. I cannot be wrong And it's going to last And it's gotta be fresh and done right. I need a hot Muse. I'm looking out for a hot Muse 'til I'm doing it right. She's gotta be near. 'Cause it's gotta be done And she's gonna be part of my life! ==== Understanding the Differences A Man & His Muse --- Tom pauses to lean on the door frame and study La Taverna, and its patrons. His eyes drift, and once in awhile he nods thoughtfully, or shakes his head as his thoughts drift. Mahika, standing at his side with an amused smile on her face, touches his shoulder lightly. "Sketchbook?" "Hmm?" He turns his head slightly and studies the stage. "Yah. That too, love." She turns her head slightly to see what has caught his interest. "Ah." There is a tone of sudden understanding in her exhalation. "Here." She hands him his sketchbook and a pencil. "I'll get you a bar stool and make sure everything is working." He straightens from his position and idly kisses his Muse. "Thanks." She lightly strokes one of his cheeks with a claw tip, then walks purposefully away. Her smile, barely visible, is both amused and content. * * * He opens his sketchbook to a blank page and places it on the podium. Once he's satisfied with its position, he glances at Mahika and nods. There a brief flare of light, quickly dimmed to a level that's bright enough for the camera to get a good image, but not so bright it's blinding. That's followed by the almost sub audible hum of the pa system. Tom settles on the stool and begins a sketch. As he sketches, he speaks. "Relax, neighbors. No lectures this time. No vitriolic pointing out of our shared problems and all the stuff I usually bring up when I settle here." He looks up, scans the room and smiles lopsidedly. "I've had too much time to think recently, and I'm going to share some of that thinking with you." He drops his gaze to his sketch and goes back to working on it. There's a circle, to which he adds the male and female symbols. Then, he fills the circle with the yin-yang symbol. Satisfied, he leans back. "I like to study people. I also enjoy studying myself. One of my hobbies is trying to figure out what motivates people." He chuckles at something, then continues. "I suffered from *that* curse long before I started writing. "Anyway, and I'm certain I'm rediscovering fire here, I've come up with something I want to share and get your thoughts on. "We talk a lot about the differences between men and women. I've seen a lot of theories, but none of them are really satisfying as an explanation I can live with. "So, every now and again I pick at it." He reaches and touches his drawing. "This is the symbology that expresses what I've come up with." He leans back and faces his audience. Mahika, well used to his routines, has brought him a glass of herbal tea. He sips it, gathering his thoughts, then sets it down and continues. "I believe men and women can understand each other." "I also believe that most of the theories we currently base that attempt to understand on--are too complicated. "I think I've distilled all the complications and figured out what might be considered the 'fundamental concepts' that drive us all." He chuckles again. "Or at least I've come up with a working hypothesis that I'm comfortable with." "What drives us all is survival. Beyond that basic drive is the the desire to reproduce. "And I think that the two aspects of that reproductive drive are what ultimately defines who we are. They lead to every action we do, and every emotion we feel. "The desire to reproduce ourself and continue the individual. "The desire to reproduce as a means of continuing the species." He leans forward and touches the yin-yang area. "And it is a mix of those two drives that defines the difference between men and women. Tilt it one way, and you have 'a man'. Tilt it the other way and you have 'a woman'. "It's that 'simple'." He leans back and grins. "But like the fundamental particles in physics... "It leads to the bewildering complexity that makes us who we are." ==== Action and Words, Together A Man and Muse Story ---- "Happy anniversary, love" I settled on the several times recovered hide-a-bed on our porch and grabbed Mahika's hand. We intertwined our fingers and I lifted our hands to my lips. I studied the face I'd come to know so well, then kissed the back of her hand lightly. She slowly smiled and touched my face. While her fingertips spoke volumes about what we shared, her words were soft and simple: "Indeed, it is." The next move was mine, as usual, and I touched the sides of her neck with my free fingertips. "Cuddle?" She shifted and was quickly settled on my lap. That led to a rearranging of the parts until we had our arms around each other. She squeezed gently while my own arms pulled us together firmly. My head bent down and my lips pressed against her neck She moaned a bit and I knew things were going well. My next move was obvious and I made it. I left my lips in place, opened them... And then my tongue slid out to barely touch a special spot I'd come to know well... The moan chopped off as she jerked in response to the jolt of pleasure. I kept up the contact, lightly stroking my tongue across the spot I'd discovered on one intensely satisfying night together. I waited patiently until... "Enough!" Chuckling, I relented. "Good." I leaned back, satisfied that I'd 'won' the opening round. "Doesn't seem like it's been that long since I introduced you to the rest of the world, yet it seems like forever, too." My hands shifted, randomly exploring, reminding us of what we shared, and promising that we'd create new memories together. "Six years, love. Six amazing years." Noses touched and we smiled at each other. Fingertips touched lips in a shared agreement--and promise. Then, again, in a routine we shared so easily, we wrapped each other in a shared cuddle that left us gazing at nothing special, yet seeing everything that was special to us both. Joy, accidental pain, reconciliation... And the one thing that no longer needed to be said, but was the most important thing of all. We knew that no matter what, we'd share the future in the same way we shared this anniversary. We'd see it together. ---- Thomas Galahalt, Celebrating six years since the official introduction of my Muse, Mahika. May 10, 2001 to May 10, 2007 "Together, my love." ==== Tom walks up to the stage and looks it over thoughtfully: 'Doesn't get much use these days, does it?' He shrugs a bit, mostly to himself, then drifts away to gather in a bar stool. Once he has it positioned, and the microphone adjusted to his satisfaction, he settles and gazes out at the patrons--and at something else--before he smiles a bit sadly and begins speaking in a soft, gentle voice. "Hasn't seemed much point, lately, to coming here, or for that matter, expending the effort to come up here, and saying anything. "We all go our own ways, sometimes touching others, sometimes not, just sharing a few carefully hoarded memories or maybe sometimes daring to speak about a dream we have. "Acting on them? Nah. What's the point? The fire's gone. A few embers are left, but it's not worth the effort of stirring them to see if anything can be rekindled. "Or..." He brings his gaze back and studies each person briefly., searching for something. "Is it that it isn't the fire, the warmth here that needs rekindling, but the fire within? The kind of fire that doesn't need symbols, a place where it is expressed, Just..." His right hand reaches out as if to grasp something, then returns to open itself against his chest, over his heart. "The kind of fire that lives here and burns undiminished through time, carrying one forward to meet whatever happens?" He smiles slightly and continues. "Answering those of you who wished me well on my birthday got me to thinking. Another year has gone by. Where have I been? What have I done? Where am I going? "A few things stood out. And yes, I'm going to share some of those thoughts. Listen or not, as *you* choose." He looks at the bar and catches the eye of Mahika, who has been settled there, unnoticed, and he nods before miming drinking something. She brings him a glass of herbal tea, which he sips thoughtfully, before handing it back. "Very well. "I'll have no children of my own. I accepted that long ago. It's a regret, but one I've chosen to live with. But I've always wondered what I would choose to pass on to them, and there are some things I deem worthy of passing on to anyone. "A few lessons I've learned about love, and the work it takes to keep a relationship going. "Never promise that you won't hurt each other, sometimes in gut-wrenching ways. Instead, commit to accepting that it will happen--and that you will always be able to work past that. "Never say: 'Don't ever change' to your partner. Instead, say 'We will grow and change together--and we will work together to live with any changes that happen, to either of us, being honest about whether we like or dislike them. "Sex can be incredibly selfish. Don't fear that selfishness. Accept it as a fact of life, and while sharing the mutual joys that can be shared, don't be afraid to look at your partner and tell them 'I *want* you to be selfish. Use whatever we do for your own selfish desire to have the most intense orgasm you can.' "No matter how long you've been together, don't fear to explore who and what you are to each other. You may not enjoy the knowledge you find, but you will learn more, making what you have deeper, stronger. "And while I have many other bits I could share, there is really only one more thing on this subject that I think is worth mentioning right now. I would never tell my children, or anyone else, 'I'm telling you this and hoping you don't make the mistakes I did.' That's bullshit. Don't be afraid to make the mistakes I have. Make them knowing that you'll be able to find a solution. It may be the one I found, most likely it will not. All I ask is that you learn from those mistakes, as I hope I have." He falls silent and gestures again for the glass of tea. Sipping, gathering his thoughts, he wonders if he should say more. He looks at Mahika, holds out a hand and tips it, as if pouring something out. She tilts her head, then reaches to lightly stroke his face before she gently holds his upturned hand and mimes pouring something into it. He smiles, nods, and hands her back the empty glass. "What can I say? How do I answer the questions that aren't asked? "Do I owe anyone anything? Do I have a duty? What sort of duty could it be? He shakes his head slightly. "No duty, not really. Just a felt obligation and a recognition of part of reality. "To the silent ones--and anyone else who feels the need--here and elsewhere. I'm here. If you need a 'leader', someone you can follow until you can find the strength, find the courage to create your own ventures, until you are able to stand here, where I am, and speak in your own voice... "I'll believe in you when you can't believe in yourself. "After all, a few here have given that gift to me. It's only *right* that I pass it on to any who need it." He bows his head, tears glistening... and slowly walks away, barely noticing when Mahika and his SO gather him into their arms. --- TANSTAAFL --Robert Anson Heinlein-- ==== A throw away line in a new story... "I hadn't angered her that much since..." ---- Anger Mismanagement A Man and Muse Story ---- "I'm sorry, love. I can't promise you I won't change." I stared at the screen in frustrated disbelief. The words were *mine*, spoken honestly. They were also the words that ended a miracle. *She* was gone. I let the tears flow. Tears are supposed to be cleansing. They are supposed help you heal. All these tears did was get my face wet. Through the pain, my mind twisted and churned. I kept returning to a simple fact. *I'd* written the story that led to the end. Therefore, to make sure I'd never cause her any more pain by reminding her of what had happened... I had to delete the story. How can such a simple action cause so many memories? How can a single mouse click drive a dagger through the center of my being? Deleting the copy of the email that had sent it to her wasn't easy, but it wasn't that hard, either. Gone. Next was the finished copy of the story. With a click... Gone. The backup. Gone. Destroyed. Random electrons. I can't see the monitor. My breathing is ragged. I can't go on. I must. I wiped my eyes clear, they stayed so long enough to let me see while I deleted most of the archived versions. Click. Click. Click. Then, through the new tears and silence that engulfed me I heard a new clicking. Toenails. I ignored them. I felt a chin settle on my shoulder. Have you ever smelled the raw anger of a wolfess? Have you ever felt the rumbling vibration of a suppressed snarl of rage? I did. And I ignored it while I brought up the last copy, and earliest version of the story. Shuddering with the sense of loss, not of the story, but of the completeness, the oneness... I pushed firmly CLICK! Deleted. And my head fell forward into my shaking hands. I wept. Wept as a howl of unspeakable anguish knifed into my right ear. Wept as 120 pounds of angry wolfess drove me out of my chair, to land on the floor, where I curled up in withdrawal. I ignored the feel of fur as she straddled me, just as I ignored the sneeze of absolute, fury driven disgust that blew into my hair from inches away. "You. Deleted. It." "I had to." "No. You didn't." "I HAD to." "You wrote it. I felt your joy while you wrote it. AND YOU DELETED IT!" I rolled slightly, grabbed Mahika's muzzle, glared at her from inches away and shouted. "DAMNIT MAHIKA! IT COST ME HER! I. HAD. TO. DELETE IT!!" Disgusted, filled with the pain of loss, I shoved her head away and curled back up. The effort of shouting through my pain had exhausted me. My voice was weak, a barely audible whisper as I moaned about what had happened. "I hurt. I can't live through this again. Every time I love... First her. Now She's angry with me too. Get it over with... Damnit, stop hurting me like this. Doesn't understand. Doesn't want to understand..." I turned my head one last time to coldly gaze at Mahika. "Go. Away." It was a command. Her anger changed into astonished silence... And she vanished as if she'd never shared my life. "Good. She can't hurt me, too." Why then am I curled into a fetal ball and weeping again with the pain wracked sobs of the deepest sense of loss I've ever felt? --- Obviously, we did reconcile our differences and the bond between us is stronger than it was then. But that's another story. :) ==== Wandering in my hopper can reveal many things... Including this short one that was incorrectly labeled unfinished. I wrote it just before a halloween, which year I don't remember. --- Wandering Words A Man and His Muse --- I felt Mahika's hair flow across me as she leaned over my shoulder and whispered..."Trick or treat?" I rotated my chair and helped her settle on my lap. Once we were comfortable I reached out to tilt her head up so I could watch her reaction. "From you, my love, a trick would be a treat." She groaned. "The trick to treating with you is to find a trick that works a treat." It was my turn to groan. "So that would mean that to be a treat, my trick treats me to a trick that treats me to a t?" Before she could make things worse I kissed her. "Mmmmm." She pulled her lips away and grinned. "The wind is blowing so I thought I'd get you away from your blow-by-blow account of your characters' latest exploits to blow your mind by giving you a blow job that will blow your rocks off so completely that you will feel like the top of your head has blown off." "Not too bad. You were straining things a bit at the end, though." "So?" She gave me one of her 'purest innocence' looks. I matched it with my own version of 'the look'. "Point." We studied each other to see who would lose 'the look' first. I smiled. "Let's fuck. A blow job would be a treat but right now I'd rather be treated to a trick." "AAAARRRGGH!" Anything! Just stop it with the rotten word play!" "Fair enough. An affair with my Lady fair beats beating on the keyboard about characters who spend their time beating their meat to the beat of the Beatles." She glared at me and I grinned back. One of her hands shifted to caress my penis while the other raised so she could point an imperious finger at me. "Bed. Now." I started to say something but her finger moved to gently rest on my lips. She finally raised an eyebrow--and grinned. Discretion won. I nodded. "Bed. Now. Will you get up so *I* can get up and go there?" She hesitated so long I began to wonder what she was thinking about. "Finished?" I winced at the acid tone. "No, but I can save it for later. You know how I get sometimes." That got a smile. "Good. Much later. Weeks later would be even better." She stood and offered me a hand to help me out of the chair. ==== The Dilemma A Man and His Muse --- The wolfess nestled between my arms after our evening love-making woke, stretched seductively--then slowly changed into a human female. Once her transformation was complete she turned in my arms and kissed me. The wake up ritual complete, she smiled and hugged me before her hands slowly walked up my spine to my neck. She started to pull me into another kiss, paused, frowned slightly and then gently pushed me away. "Roll over." I started to say something, saw her raised eyebrows, changed my mind and without a word rolled so I was face down on the bed. She straddled me and began gently massaging my neck and shoulders. "You haven't been this tense for quite awhile. What is it this time?" "Specifics?" She kept massaging me while she thought things over. Finally, a bit tartly, "I need more than tense muscles and vague feelings of outrage, dissatisfaction, frustration and resigned amusement to work with." Her words took a few seconds to sink in. When they did I rolled over so we could look into each other's eyes. "Mahika, love, it's not inspiration I need. I need direction. I know what I want to say. I even have a good idea of how I want to say it." I took a deep breath and then let most of it slowly escape through clenched teeth. "The *problem* that has me so frustrated-- is that I don't know if I should *say* those things." Her eyes widened and her mouth opened slightly before she clamped it shut. I grabbed her hands and kissed them gently. "I'm not their private Cassandra, though I seem to fall into the role far too often for my tastes. I don't want to fall into the role of being a 'mentor' who is so full of advice and tales of his own successes and failures that people ignore my ramblings and any 'lessons' they may contain. And now... Now this 'escape from the prison of christianity' thread has me..." I kissed her hands again for lack of anything better to divert my thoughts. "I've been on at least three of the sides of this one. I don't *want* to point out the obvious--yet again." She nodded. As she raised her head she smiled impishly. "You don't need a massage. Dr. Mahika prescribes the couch on the porch--and a good cuddle." She gently pulled her hands from mine and touched my forehead lightly with a finger "You don't need a lover or a Muse. You need a friend--and a shoulder." I closed my eyes and fought back tears. "What I need... What I *want*..." "I'm here." Two words, spoken quietly--and I could no longer hold back the tears. Without opening my eyes I held out my arms to the person who knows me best of all. "Vel." As soon as I felt her next to me I wrapped her in a fierce hug, buried my face in her fur and cried myself to sleep. * * * "Feel better?" Familiarity made me aware of the fact I was on our porch. When I opened my eyes I saw food on the coffee table, a vixen at my side--and no sign of Mahika. "Morning, Lady." I shifted so I could kiss her. "A bit. Maybe. Thanks." She untangled us and rolled to her back. "Before you ask, yes, I know. Only role I'm performing is 'friend with shoulder'." Ever suffered through having your perceptions turned around? Vel and I had made a friendly ritual of me asking: 'Who are you, this time?' when she stopped by. This was the first time she ever deliberately said: 'Not this time.' I looked out the window and sighed. "Damn." For an answer she rolled to her side and trailed her fingertips across my chest. When she finished she bent and gently kissed my chest, right over my heart, before she settled at my side again. "Yeah. Thanks. Again. 'Be true to thyself before all others'. Go ahead, giggle a bit at how obvious the solution is." "No. It wasn't obvious." She worked an arm under me and gave me a gentle squeeze. "Drawing the line is never easy when so much is at stake." I returned her 'hug'. "Right now it hurts a lot. But, I won't let myself get drawn in this time." Vel stayed silent. There's something to said for having a Rabelaisian Bard for a lover and friend. Of course that was especially true since we were what the other would have been, had we lived on the other's world. It isn't that we think alike. We don't. We *feel* alike and that makes a huge difference at times like this. My mind wandered away from thoughts of religion, faith holding--and atheism. "She's getting better. So am I." "Who?" "Sorry. Mahika. I was just thinking that we're past the 'we can fix anything together if we try' stage. It hurts a bit but recognizing that sometimes we need someone else to help..." Vel's tone was slightly acid, but tender, too. "Both of you have spent too much of your lives alone." She stroked my chest lightly. "Or with close companions you can't completely share with." "Point." I rolled to face her and helped her shift until I could enter her. When I felt the fleshy ring of her vulva settle against my pubes I stopped. "Share, like this. Sharing bodies is easy. But sharing my mind..." I slowly stroked in and out, content to let the passion build while I let my mind wander. "You're here, and I appreciate it, as you well know. I still hope that someday I'll meet a human partner I can be as relaxed with." My stroking stopped again and I pulled her close. Vel was strong enough to feel comfortable when I gave her my most demanding 'Don't leave me!' hug. Her tongue came out and licked my tears away while I cried again. "Don't give up. Hope is something precious, and all too easily lost. Let the emotions flow, my love, but don't cling to them and let them exclude the future." Eventually my arms loosened and I let my hands wander her body. She was so much more than my usual lovers yet so much the same that I could lose myself in her completely. Sex with her was comforting, familiar. She was able to communicate the tenderness that I needed at times like this. She understood me completely. Mahika, for all we were close, was too old, too different, to have the empathy I sometimes needed. And it hurt both of us. I looked at Vel. "Will you stay with us?" She kissed me, then touched where we were joined. "For as long as you need me." "Thanks." I raised my head, and my voice... "Mahika!" The white wolfess I knew and loved appeared in the doorway. "Stas?" I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I need you, love. Never more than now. I know..." I fought back tears. "I know that we have problems understanding each other. Vel's agreed to help. Will you?... Will you join me? Us?" Before I completely lost it and cried again I whispered... "Please?" Toenails clicked, then the hide-a-bed shook as she landed on it. I felt fur at my back and then Vel gently helped me turn to face my real love. Mahika smiled and her nose touched mine. "Of course I'll join you." A Vixen's delicate touch rejoined us, then lupine legs and a vixen's furry arms wrapped me in their love while I rediscovered love, and hope. ==== The wolfess and the dog strode into La Taverna. The dog glanced at his partner. "Quiet night." She turned her head slowly, studying the patrons. "For now. Were you thinking about doing something about it?" He sighed. "Point. No, love." He headed for their usual table and settled underneath it. Mahika watched, her mixed concern and amusement showing in her eyes. Then, she sighed and headed over to join him. She mentally made a note: 'It had better be damn soon--or I'm going to do some inspiring that a few doctors aren't going to appreciate.' ==== Tail, Tongue and Toenails --- Tom chuckles... "C'mon, then." He headed for La Taverna. "I need a partner for this." Once inside he lifted his nose and inhaled through it. "Good, she's here." He laughed... "And I'm not talking about my SO or Mahika, they're elsewhere and we have agreements." He worked his way across the room, then settled on his haunches to study the tall, slender--and naked--waitress who was facing away from him. "Woof!" She jerked, then turned to face him. "Stas! You startled me. Where've you been?" He grinned. "Better than a cold nose... Hi, Bev. Bev, meet Mat. Mat, Beverly. Mat's a good sort. You two might find each other interesting, but that's for later, eh?" She knelt and hugged Tom. "Mmm... Yeah. Later... Then she pulled back to glare at him suspiciously. "Waitaminit... Not like you to just walk in and introduce me to someone. Usually it's the cold nose and some action. What are you up to, *dog*?" "I was getting to that." He used his nose to point at the stage. "You know how it is. Some conversation. Random remarks. Alliteration." "Get to the point." "Tail, Tongue and Toenails." She leaned back and started laughing. "The show?" "Got it in one, M'Dear." She sobered enough to study Mat, then nodded. "Let me get this gentleman settled at a table near the stage. I'm a working girl first, you know." Tom snickered and said nothing, just headed for the stage. * * * While he waited he set the lighting and turned on the background hologram. This time he chose a brick fireplace with a fire that had burned down to glowing embers. He thought about adding some music, then decided to leave the sound system off. The show was primarily a visual one and didn't really need any music in the background. Satisfied, he curled up in front of the fireplace and seemed to go to sleep. Shortly after he did that Bev walked on the stage from the left. She paused and studied the dog for awhile, then smiled. "Tom." The dog lifted his head and turned it towards her. His tail thumped happily a few times then he stood and stretched before walking over to greet her. She held out her arms, as if inviting a hug. His tail wagged slowly, then he effortlessly raised himself up to plant his front feet on her shoulders. Bev was nearly six feet tall but his head towered over hers by at least a foot. He brought his chin down and placed it on her hair. She hugged him briefly, then used her fingers to scratch both sides of his chest. He rumbled his approval of her actions. This scratching went on for several minutes then he pushed himself away from her slightly. With the ease of familiarity he lifted his right paw from her shoulder and lightly touched her face with a toenail. She turned her head slightly to make it easier for him. They held the pose for a few seconds, long enough for her to cover his paw with a hand, then remove it. His paw moved, slowly tracing its way down her face. She lifted her head and he stroked her chin before he slid the toenail down her neck. She moaned throatily. Her eyes closed and he slowly stroked her neck, teasing her, obviously exciting her further. He turned his head slightly and winked at Mat, as if to say 'I ain't done yet.' The paw resettled on Bev's shoulder. Her mouth was slightly open and she was panting slightly, obviously aroused by what he had just done to her. He brought his nose forward and touched her lips with it, then pulled back slightly and slowly extended his tongue to press against her lips, obviously asking for permission to enter. Her lips parted and his tongue slid through them. She closed her lips firmly over his tongue and he slid it back and forth slowly, teasing her, hinting at pleasures to come. At times her cheeks bulged as he stroked the inside of them. She was moaning almost constantly now and her hands were sensuously stroking his body at random. Sometimes they would link over his spine and you could see his muscles tense as he resisted her efforts to pull him closer. Eventually he pulled his head back far enough to pull his tongue out of her mouth. He touched his nose to hers, then slid from underneath her linked hands to settle on his haunches. She opened her eyes and smiling, reached to pet him between his ears. The movements of his tail indicated he was quite pleased with the attention he was getting. Bev settled on her knees and hugged him again, then shifted to lie face down in front of him. Once she'd settled he stood, then carefully straddled her legs. A paw came up and he started stroking along her spine with the tips of his claws. She arched into his touch and moaned loudly. He continued the slow stroking until she gasped suddenly and rotated to her back. His raised paw lowered to the floor. His head slowly approached her stomach and he paused with it not quite touching her. She moaned and grabbed his head, then jammed his nose into her flesh and let go. He licked her from navel to neck in one slow stroke and she arched upwards violently. He carefully continued the stroking with his tongue, paralleling his first stroke but moving his head so he eventually covered her whole torso from just above her pubes to her neck. Bev's breathing had changed from soft, steady moans to gasping inhalations followed by long sighs. Seemingly finished, He backed himself until he could put his nose between her knees. She spread her legs invitingly. He carefully lay down between her legs and stretched his nose forward until it was near, but not touching her vulva. He held that pose briefly, then turned sideways to lick one of her inner thighs. He slowly stroked her with his tongue, going from her knees almost to her vulva before moving away on another stroke. Suddenly her legs came up and she shivered violently. He pulled away and waited patiently. Finally her muscles relaxed and her legs settled on either side of him again. He stood, then moved to her side. He settled with his head resting on her chest. The gesture looked both tender and protective. Her hand came up and as she gently petted his head their eyes closed. They held that pose for a couple of minutes, then he got up and shut off the hologram and lights before he went back to Bev. She rolled to her side, then braced herself on him while she got to her feet. The show was over. * * * They walked over to Mat's table and Bev settled in a chair with Tom at her side. Tom chuckled. "And that's it. We've never done anything more with each other." Bev bapped his nose. "Idiot. You got me out of the gutter. That's a hell of a lot more and you know it." "I was talking about sexually, Bev." "You think I didn't know that?" She turned to Mat. "Ya gotta understand. I was on the streets, didn't want to be a whore so I was picking up enough money to survive on by robbing suckers who had more money than sense. Here I was, hungry, no cash and along comes this woman who was walking her dog as if she didn't have a worry in the world. They reeked money. Lots of it. Her in that flowing robe, him wearing that jeweled collar that he favors. Hell, the collar would've pawned for enough to let me live comfortably for at least a year. "So I stuck the knife in her face and demanded everything she had...." He chuckled. "Should have seen the look on her face when I laughed at her and suggested that she really didn't want to make that mistake." He winked. "You'd think she'd never met a talking dog before." He got another bap on the nose. "I hadn't. I wasn't exactly happy to wind up staring at a huge white wolf who was laughing at me, either!" He looked at Mat and contrived a shrug. "I liked her attitude and told her that if she wanted any of our money, she could damn well earn it. Offered her a job doing whatever she wanted to do here, and as long as she did it well, she'd get paid. She wound up working as a waitress." She glared at him. "Mahika told me about that later. You like to pick up strays if you think you can help them." "So? You complaining about one of my hobbies?" "Hmmph. No." She turned back to Mat. "It was late, I was exhausted and *he* offered me a massage. I thought he was crazy but what the hell, the way I felt, anything that let me get off my feet was going to be helpful." She licked her lips sensuously as she thought about what had happened. "The massage was... Well, it got out of hand. A few weeks later, it was a slow night, I was bored and wanted to liven the place up a bit... Tom laughed. "So we did the massage here, on stage--and called it 'Tail, Tongue and Toenails'." He winked again. "She's 'Tail'. I'm 'Tongue and Toenails'." ==== Looking Ahead - Zoosexuality and the Future(caution, zoo/best discussion) --- Looking Ahead - Zoosexuality and the Future --- Tom and the wolfess wander between the tables, slowly working their way to the stage. Once there he settles on the stool and puts on the microphone. There's a long pause while he gathers his thoughts... Then he reaches up and taps the mic. When Mahika starts to move from his side he shakes his head slightly. His words are softly spoken, but loud enough to be heard over the pa system. "Stay, Love. We don't need the lights--and by the time I'm done, it's likely that there will be some who will be glad the room is in shadows today." She stops and turns her head so she can study him thoughtfully. Finally, without a word she returns to settle on her haunches by his side. His right hand settles on her head and you can see his fingers slowly scratching her. It is a gesture naturally done and today it has meanings far beyond the obvious one of 'companionship, shared and openly expressed'. "Hello, Neighbors. Listen to my words, or not. Hearing what I say, is, as always, up to you. "Long before I 'became' a writer, I was a dreamer who lived in worlds other than this one. I spent much of my time reading and while I read most anything, I found, then developed a special love for science fiction--that has lasted my entire life. "But, life had a special irony waiting in the wings, just for me. "Some careful thinking about my past has let me figure out that my first sexual activity, including full penetration of a girl near my own age, happened when I was about 7 1/2 to 8 1/2 years old. "I only note that in passing, as a way point on a future journey that I had no way of planning for, or, for that matter, no way to envision. "A couple of years later, I discovered science fiction. This was after becoming familiar with and enjoying 'traditional' children's stories and novels. I had already inhaled things such as the complete Dr. Doolittle collection. Little house? All of them, in order. The same was true of the entire Sherlock Holmes collection, along with many other children's stories. "When I wasn't settled next to the comic rack at the local market, I was across the street fine toothing the library and then taking home my 'bag limit' of books. Within days, rarely more than a week later, I was returning the read books and finding another batch to inhale. By the time I was eleven I had an adult library card and an easy familiarity with all of the librarians. "There's even a twist here. A few years later, when I was on the work experience program in high school, I wound up working at the same library for one summer. Part of my job was helping with the summer youth program they ran, as an aide who helped by doing things the younger kids weren't allowed to do. It was another step on the path to becoming, unknowingly, someone who later realized he enjoys teaching and being a guide for those who seek to learn new things. "Living in a small town with a good library was childhood heaven for me--and it shaped my life as much as being raised by a divorced, bitter mother did. "There's another twist in my life, one that is, to say the least, bitterly ironic at the least and oddly appropriate at most. Even though my actual experience with sex was brief, by the time I entered puberty I had a more complete, more *balanced* understanding of love, sex and the complex interactions involved than my mother ever had--until, thirty-five years later, when I finally lowered my shields and revealed the 'real me'. "To explain, to help her understand my own sexuality and the way I feel and think... "I found myself teaching my mother about herself." He pauses and sips from the glass of water Becky brought over and set within easy reach. "Stay with me, folks. Please. This isn't a ramble, nor, even now, is it that easy to do. Oh, the speaking is easy. It's the focused thinking to make sure I say what I want to say--that makes it difficult. "Ahhh... Puberty. That wonderfully confusing time when my body changed and the physical enjoyment of life started involving my emotions on a level beyond what words and my early experiences with sex had prepared me for. "By now, my knowledge beyond my years had cursed me with the gift of a lack of practical experience to temper the harsh lessons. "I feared getting involved with girls, not because of the sex, but because I was too aware of how the system treated the man when a relationship ended. I'd already fought for everything I had. Gifts were rare, very rare in my life. Toys were often salvaged ones, carefully repaired. Casual friendship I had in plenty but even then I was more comfortable with adults than I was with kids my own age. "I saw my mother's bitterness, knew a lot of the reasons for it and I never wanted to be the man who did that to a woman--or any of their children, ever. "My reasoning was simplistic, but it was all I had. 'I've fought to get what I have. I don't want to lose it all to some girl's whim if I get married and something happens to break us up. "Therefore, and I had no experience to understand the faulty chain of logic, I decided I'd never get seriously involved with a woman. "I still had the daily school interactions, but I deliberately avoided social interaction with girls. "Eyes open, I unknowingly denied myself the chance to gain the life experience that would have been the foundation that let me fully understand what I already 'knew'. "Remember that decision. I do--and it's one of the few irreversible ones I've made... "That I regret." Another sip of water, some thoughtful silence as he orders his thoughts... "Puberty. "Of course I was obsessed by sex. Worse, I already knew how good it felt--and I wanted more of it. "But my fear limited me to masturbation, until..." He laughs... "Well, we had a dog and a bitch. Both were intact and she went into heat, which naturally caused our dog to focus on sex with her. "And, one day I decided to try fucking her. It wasn't love, although I didn't want to hurt her. No, in my mind it was only for the sex. How was I to understand that my very real desire to avoid hurting her, and the ability to override my lust to make sure I didn't, was really something else? "Love." He shakes his head sadly as he remembers the denial, the lack of understanding in spite of his knowledge. "All I could think of was the sex. I was in it for me. That was all I could see, all I could understand. "I didn't have the life experience, or someone I could turn to, for more. Even then, I knew I couldn't ask for help in understanding this part of myself. "Anyway, I tried to penetrate her, several times. I never succeeded. She was a small dog and I couldn't force my way into her. However, I did hold her for the dog, and he did tie with her while I held her and watched them. "Here's another irony. Had I taken the time to think, I would have realized that he, when swollen, was bigger than I was. He stretched her and if I had had the knowledge I do now, I would have kept up my efforts and eventually fucked her, because she was *aleady* stretched enough to easily accomodate me without injury. Or, after she gave birth to her puppies, she would be even more stretched and able to accept my penis comfortably. "But, that's a might-have-been because my hormones wouldn't let me think past the sex. I couldn't fuck her, so lacking knowledge and patience... "I gave up. We stayed bitch and owner, happy with each other, but it never went past that to something more complete. "Yes, I vaguely remember masturbating while this was going on. "There's another twist here. A couple of years later, I started fucking the dog on a regular basis. "So, for years, my experiences with bestial sex were gay ones. I'd fuck him, he'd fuck me. It was a give and take that felt good." Tom chuckles... "Anyway, that leads to the point I'm really trying to make. "My point is simple: 'Shortly after learning to dream of different worlds, I started, unknowingly, to gain experience in *building* new worlds. "The first world I started, one I'm still working on, is the world of my own sexuality, a sexuality vastly different, yet in many ways similar to the one most people accept as 'real'. "And *that*..." He leans back and stretches... "finally gets me to what I really want to say today." "I'm going to make some predictions that many will find 'unpalatable', to be gentle about their reactions." "1. The continuing research into genetic and neonatal environments will eventually reveal a 'gene complex' that will 'predispose' someone to 'alternative gender identities and sexual orientations'. "2. Because of (1.), bestiality, zoophilia and zoosexuality will be, at long last, recognized as part of a spectrum of inherent sexuality choices based on environmental conditions throughout a person's life, with the person having a 'built in' tendency to make a 'default' choice that may not be seen as 'normal' to most people. "3. Sexuality will become individual choice, based on awareness, instead of something that is culturally made in advance. "4. It will be considered natural and normal if a person's sexual orientation and gender identity vary over time. "With 'zoosexuality' accepted as part of a spectrum instead of an aberration, there are some interesting extrapolations that can be made: "1. As 'One World' and 'Animal rights' become more a part of world thinking, the people who share those views will tend to seek mates amongst like minded people. As a result of this 'selective breeding', the overall percentage of bestialists and zoosexuals will increase. Given the acceptance of sexuality being cross species as well as cross gender, at some point zoosexuals will have less to fear when 'coming out of the closet'. "2. They will also have something waiting for them that I never had: 'Both sides of the story', with information about the reality of zoosexuality made available by people who have 'lived the life'. For the first time in history that I know of, there will be available, for anyone interested, enough information about all aspects of zoosexuality that children, pubescent children, teens, young adults and adults can make an informed choice, *at the time they decide*, about their emotional gender and sexuality, whether it is the first time, or later in life. "3. More research will discover that the human race has, all along, been selectively breeding itself to have a genetic predisposition for zoosexuality, both emotional and physical. Study will confirm some current theories that this tendency helped lead to successful animal domestication and the abilities some have that makes them more capable than others at working with animals. "4. I say sexuality, but I include emotional bonding in the term zoosexuality. The more usual 'close emotional bonds without sex' that are now taken for granted will be seen as a socially approved denial of the 'real spectrum' of zoosexuality. "5. Instead of fearing taking a relationship to the next level, that of sexual interaction, people will be able to openly ask questions and make the choice based on awareness--and their choice will be accepted as 'right for them' instead of 'completely wrong', no matter what they decide." He stands and stretches again, then starts slowly pacing the stage. "If you think I've given you a pretty far fetched scenario for the future, I've saved the best for last. "There is another form of pressure that in my view, will make the acceptance of zoosexuality not inevitable, but much more likely. "Space travel and the 'what if' of interacting with aliens. "We'll need people with empathy, and the ability to 'think like an alien species'. We'll need these people as ambassadors and interpreters, if nothing else, just as the aliens are likely to have their own versions of these people. "Isn't it deliciously ironic that the people most folks want to destroy could, quite easily, be the ones we have to use to represent us to aliens? "The next time you condemn Zoosexuals and Furrys as 'deviants', you should ask yourself what might happen if the aliens, based on broad experience, consider them to have the more 'normal' cross species awareness that is essential to a true galactic culture... "There's a lot of science fiction written in which the aliens accept one culture, or even an animal species as more suited for acceptance into a galactic civilization than the human race in general, based on their ability to interact with other species they share our planet with. "Think about it. Dogs and Horses, to name two species, are far more 'successful' as species when it comes to communicating with different cultures, than we humans are. I can easily envision an alien race who decides to offer *them* membership in a galactic culture before we humans are offered the chance to join. "So, ultimately, my final prediction is a simple one. "Zoosexuality, as a spectrum of emotional and sexual interactions with other species will become more and more acceptable until it is seen as 'just another lifestyle'. "It won't happen because of self promotion or scientific studies that take it from 'aberration' to 'an inherent option', but from pure social and economic selfishness. "Zoosexuals, given the chance, will learn and share knowledge about this world that can be gained in no other way. "And, like it or not, we, as a race, will *need* that knowledge to survive in the long term." He resettles on the stool and smiles... "So. "My deepest secret is out, now. "I've always dreamed of a world where I and others like me can be ourselves. Ever since I got on the net and started writing, I've been looking for ways to build towards that world, if not for me, for all of us to at least have the chance to chose how we live in this one. "Not in my lifetime, but someday... "It will happen. "If current trends continue, that's not a prediction... "It is inevitable." ----- Thomas Galahalt January 31, 2008 --- "There are two major problems with winning all the time: 'You never know if you are doing your best' and 'you never have a chance to learn your limits'. The first leads to laziness and the second discourages growth." ==== A Meeting of the Minds A Man and Muse Story by Lady Chrystal ----- I was watching the news when I felt a warmth in the back of my mind. "That's strange." Merlin looked up from his reading. "What?" I shook my head slightly. "I thought I felt the call of a mind-mate." He frowned. "No new tourists for a few months yet, right? Would that sense reach from here to Rabelaisia?" I thought about it and shrugged. "I can't feel you from there, and nobody has ever said they keep the mind-mate connection over that distance. I guess not." He smiled. "Are you certain it wasn't me?" I swatted at him playfully. "You're always at the back of my thoughts. This was something sharper, more intense, the kind of feeling that happens when you meet a mind mate the first time." I probed myself gingerly. "It's gone, now." He looked at me and finally shrugged. "You're the expert but if it was someone from your homeworld, wouldn't you have felt it when they arrived on Earth and you met them during the orientation lecture?" I nodded. "So it has to be a human who triggered it--if it wasn't my imagination." He went back to his reading and I went back to watching the news. Later, over dinner, we got involved in a discussion of some of the things I'd seen. "Merlin? Sometimes I'm amazed at your technology. I think you let it run your lives too much." He smiled. "Different mindset, love. Where you folks find social solutions, we go for technological ones." I thought about it. "Maybe. I think it's more than a mindset. It could be instinctive for you." His spoon stopped on its journey to his mouth. "Instinctive? I've never heard it put that way." I smiled and held up my paws. "We came late to the concept of tool using. It was imposed on us. I'm not complaining, but it does affect our world view quite a bit. For us, it's not as 'natural' to think in terms of deliberately manipulating our environment." I paused and added the usual caveat. "Except for the primates. Even with them, they haven't had the time to get very far with the sort of conscious manipulation that comes with human level intelligence and hands." He thought about it. "Hmm. Maybe that explains how you folks developed The Bardic Way almost as soon as you were created. Social solutions are more realistic than physical ones when you can't easily change your physical surroundings." I smiled and studied him. "Perhaps. It was a quick solution to a major problem. Ruth and Runner never thought it would become the basic ethos of our world." He laughed. "The wings of a butterfly can reshape the world." I giggled, then turned serious. "You make my point for me. Most of your famous sayings take for granted the idea that it's the environment that changes, not the person. It's an arrogance in thinking that's never been a real part of our mindset. We're the ones who adapt." He nodded slowly. "When I was younger, I would have said that being passive automatically implies you are reactive to situations. Kay disabused me of that naive assumption. Your people, and at least at first, especially the Bards, surprised me when I learned how proactive you are in your planning, while being so 'fanatical' about remembering your past so you don't repeat mistakes." He laughed at himself. "I suppose that's the main reason I felt such a kinship with your culture when I was there. I've spent my life remembering our past while trying to integrate new discoveries with it in a way that doesn't destroy my personal 'world'." Then he tapped his head lightly and grinned at me. "Out with it. Something's bothering you. I can tell." I sneezed at him. "You're right, of course. It's what you people are doing with your technology that's bothering me. I know it's not really my problem to solve, but..." I laid my ears back and slumped. "Piracy and slavery. I keep worrying about how much of your sea borne technology is going to be imported to Rabelaisia, how it will affect us, and how it will affect the family fleet." He reached and stroked my tear streaked muzzle lightly. "Vel? One of the things you're going to have to learn to live with, is watching the world change around you. Perhaps I've been doing it too long, now, but I still remember my own pain while I watched so much change, often in ways I felt were for the worse." He grabbed my paws and squeezed them. "You can choose for yourself, but you have to let them choose, too, no matter what the personal cost can be, sometimes." I sighed. "I know. Sometimes the fight catches up with me, and here, on Terra, it's a terrible experience sometimes when I remember that I live here by choice. Individually, so many humans are so wonderful it makes me glad I'm here. Collectively though..." I sighed and worked a paw free so I could touch his face. "What you people have done to yourselves makes me want to lash out and remind you of our past, and what happens when power outstrips wisdom. Sometimes, when I watch the news, I fear for my people, and yours." He sighed and held on while I let my frustration and anger flow though me until I wept freely. I knew, deep down, I was seeing what my world could become if enough of us embraced the Terran way of life, and abandoned the ethos that kept us working together. When I slowed down and started to recover, he let go, then came around to reattach himself to my paw. He tugged gently. "Come on. I have something I want you to see." We wound up in his library, sharing the bed and looking at a video I'd never seen. "What is *that*?" He laughed. "Something out of the USA's past. A riverboat. Ostentatious, isn't it?" I watched, bemused, while her crew cast off the lines and she pulled away from the dock. There was a stately elegance about the way it seemed to drift away, then turn and head for the open sea. "Merlin? She'll never survive the first storm she runs into, if I'm any judge of her seaworthiness. Whoever owns her has to be crazy, taking her to open water." He pointed at a couple who were standing on the flying bridge. "Never met them, but I know he'd be the first to say he's probably somewhat crazy." I focused on them while they went about their duties. "She's..." My ears went as far forward as they could go. "I don't care what she looks like now. She's a wolfess. Has to be. Nothing else moves like that." He smiled. "Right. She's an elemental. Hasn't manifested very often in the millennia since her creation. This time she's in her primary role of being a Muse--and life-mated to the man beside her." I glanced at him and then returned my rapt gaze to the screen. "I've never seen an elemental before. We don't have them." He chuckled. "Well, we have too many of them, I sometimes think. She's one of the oldest, and by her own estimates, figures she has been alive for around 50,000 years, linear." I caught his odd emphasis of the word linear. "Linear? Are you saying there are other types of time?" "Yep. She time travels, and is capable of taking ordinary people with her when she does. Don't ask me how she does it, because I don't know. Wouldn't have believed it except..." He blushed. I caught the blush, grabbed the remote from him, and paused the video. "What happened?" He shook his head. "I thought you would ask me how I learned all these details." I smiled. "You're Merlin. You've been gathering information about the ways of power for centuries. I'm not surprised you'd know about her." He snorted and hugged me. "Ouch. I had that coming. But, in this case, I learned about them accidentally, on the net. He has a web site and..." He blushed again. "The man's a writer, of course. He's written a few things based on his 'interpretation' of the Merlin legends. Some of the details are 'uncomfortably accurate', and could only be known by someone who was there--or had an especially good feel for the people and times involved." He was shaking his head. "I made the mistake of contacting him. The answers I got back once I convinced him I was the 'real Merlin', were... 'Unsettling'. I'm not used to thinking in terms of my entire life being an open book." He rolled and hugged me. "Anyway, the two of them can time travel, so I have to specify which time stream they are in when I'm talking about them." "I see. Theoretically, he could be mentally older than I am." "Yes, I suspect he is. He's not as old as I am, but he's far more 'traveled', on Earth." "Hmmph. If he'd been to Rabelaisia, I'd know it, since somebody back home found out I was here and made me Senior Ambassador, then put me in charge of managing the tourism and political stuff." He laughed. "You could have turned it down." He got my best 'Vixen's Glare'. His hands went up, as if he was warding me off. "OK. I really do know you couldn't turn it down." "Arrr..." I growled and pounced. "You... Man!" We made up and he took the remote away from me. "You haven't seen the best part, yet." He unpaused the video. This time I focused on the man and... "Merlin? He's human?" "Yes." "Hard to believe and..." At that point my mind froze briefly as I was overwhelmed by the intensity of the link that formed. After I fought my way back to awareness of the outside world I realized Merlin was watching me intently and there was concern in his eyes. "Love?" For once I dodged. "He moves like a wolfhound, not a human." I must have frowned because Merlin stopped whatever he was going to say, in favor of waiting for me to finish. "He's obviously some sort of shape shifter, but it's more than that. It's as if his human form is something he wears because he has to, and he isn't really as comfortable in it as he should be." He frowned in thought. "Shape shifter? You're certain? I can't see it and I can usually spot them easily because of their effects on the currents of power." "Hmm. Maybe it's because you haven't met him yet?" "Could be..." I felt him start to 'reach' and suddenly he screamed in pain and slumped. "Whoo! They bite!" I couldn't stop my giggle. "Caught you peeking, did they?" He laughed. "Yeah. Nobody's done that before. Told me to mind my own business and that since they'd respected my privacy, I should respect theirs. Gave me his phone number and told me to call after I recovered enough to think some sense. Then I got a 'face full of teeth' from both of them, he nipped me--and finally they tossed me out." He shook his head wryly. "You're right about the wolfhound. He manifested in my mind as a Borzoi. Amazing. Makes the twins look slow and ponderous." He looked up and I could see the amazement in his eyes. "He didn't go through my shields. He got to me before I realized he'd spotted me. Their control is amazing. If either one of them had wanted to kill me, there was nothing I could have done." He winced at his memory of what had happened. "They *both* detected me, reacted, evaluated the situation and dealt with me before I had time to figure out I'd made a serious mistake." I shook my head and laughed at him. "I take it you'll believe me now; when I tell you about some of Nikki's adventures?" Movement on the screen grabbed my attention and I found myself gaping in disbelief. "Merlin? Is that thing... Shape shifting?!" He chuckled. "Something like that. You're watching the 'Mississippi Stealth Riverboat Samuel Langhorn Clemens' as she deploys on her first anti piracy run." He turned and grinned at me. "She doesn't worry about storms at sea. She outruns them at over 125 knots, if she has to." I was rapt while I watched the rooster tails form from the newly revealed hydrofoils. Transparent shields slammed into place, protecting her artwork and the crew. Her speed slowly increased until her hull was clear of the water, then she seemed to spring forward eagerly. "She's beautiful." It was a breathless admission that her lethal majesty had captivated me. "I think I'd enjoy a ride on her, someday." A new voice startled me. "Ask me nicely--and I might let you go joyriding with us." My mental shields slammed up and I felt Merlin start to react as we jerked around to face the newcomers. I didn't see anything until I lowered my gaze slightly. I was facing a Wolfess and a Borzoi--and both of them were grinning at us. He spoke. "Sorry. When I black out briefly, then wake up with a mind link I can't get rid of, I sorta want to know why it's there. We traced it and wound up here." He turned his head slightly. "Hello, Merlin. Sorry about the headache. I was on automatic when we caught you trying to sneak in. Two strange happenings got my attention, and for being discourteous enough to show up uninvited, I apologize." He turned back, then shimmered and changed to a form that I recognized, for all its subtle differences from the one I was used to on my homeworld. Anthrowolfhound. He held up his paws in an achingly familiar gesture, the greeting of mind mates. "I did some research, of course. Writers do that sometimes. Is this an appropriate response for what I think I might be feeling?" I let my ears fold back, almost flat on my head, as I let him see, and feel, my bewilderment. "Maybe." He frowned. "Maybe? I don't understand." I sighed. "I don't either. It started out feeling like a typical link between mind mates, but the second time, when it completed itself, it changed. It's not the life mate link, either." I took a chance and opened my shields enough to let the link fully form now that we were together. I felt him, and knew when he felt me and relaxed. He spoke quietly, calmly, in my mind. >>What will happen, will happen.<< We... merged, and in that merging found the understanding we so desperately craved. With the understanding, came something else, the ability to separate ourselves again. We looked at each other and his mental smile warmed me. >>Lady Chrystal. My newly discovered Love.<< >>Tom. My newly discovered, and welcomed, Mate.<< I nodded at him and smiled openly. "I've never heard of this gift, to meet the one who is yourself, expressed on another world. What Merlin and I share is quite similar, of course, but it's not as complete a match, now that I've experienced it on this level." He looked not at me, but the wolfess. "Mahika?" She shifted to her human form and hugged him. "Of course. The pack grows by one, or many, at once, my Alpha." Incongruously, she giggled. "At least with these people, we won't have to hide anything from them." He sneezed his amusement. "I doubt if Merlin would stoop to seeking without permission, again." I felt Merlin's blush before he rallied. "I didn't know a shape shifter could hide from me. I wanted to see if you were, that's all." "And now you know." He was laughing. "Satisfied?" Merlin winced. "No." Then, he chuckled. "Never mind. The quest for knowledge never ends, thus I will never be 'satisfied'." To my surprise Tom sobered and studied Merlin. "Indeed, that is so. How it must frustrate you to suddenly discover this reality is not the only one some people live in. Even if you understood it fully, you will now spend time wondering if you will ever get the chance to explore those newly revealed realities, too." Tom raised his hands again and then looked at me. "Ambassador. Lady Chrystal. The person who is half of 'one-who-is-two'... Those we live with need something tangible to understand what we mean to each other." I got off the bed and walked over to intertwine my fingers with his. "Of course." He grinned the sort of grin that meant he was up to something, even though he knew I could feel his sense of anticipation. He hugged me, then pulled away and laughed. "When you're ready, our house and our lives are yours, and your pack's, to join." He glanced the door. "We'd stay for the explanation, but we really do have things we should be doing." They vanished just as Kay and the twins slammed through the door. Kay was holding Excalibur, and she was furious. "What's going on? Are you all right?" Merlin started to chuckle, caught her anger, and sighed instead. "Put Excalibur away. It's over, and it wouldn't have done any good, to boot." The flare of light dimmed and the sword vanished. Before she answered Merlin she watched the twins as they angrily worked their way through a search pattern that covered the room completely. When they finished they were flanking me and snarling. "Nothing. Not a damn thing. Nobody's been here." Kay nodded. "Somebody had to lock us out, and that sort of power had to have been generated locally." Merlin jerked upright. "What do you mean: 'Nobody's been here.'?" Cathy glared at him. "Just that. No traces of power, no scent, nothing we can detect to indicate there was ever anyone except you two in this room..." She broke off and glared at me. "Something happened though. Vel smells like a bitch in the middle of her estrus." "I what?!" "I didn't stutter. You're in heat. Horny. Ready and willing to be fucked. Do I need to get cruder so I can get past that befuddled thing you have for a brain well enough you understand simple English?" I inhaled through my nose and finally understood her disgust. Instead of answering directly, I put my paws on their foreheads and shared images of what had just happened. Predictably, it was Becky who reacted first. >>Handsome.<< Cathy gave her a mental sneeze of disgust. >>Wolves mate for life. You don't have a hope, sister. Big, too. I bet he'd fill a bitch up so she feels it.<< I laughed at their sour words. >>Life, yes. Doesn't mean monogamous, and I know this one isn't. I'm a member of his pack, now. You've been invited, too.<< I removed my paws and smiled at them. "Don't go trying to sneak up on them. Merlin did and got a headache in return." Kay broke in. "Would somebody tell me what's going on?" Merlin sighed and looked at me. I grinned and gestured that Kay was his problem. "Love you, too, Vel." He grimaced and turned his attention back to Kay. "Remember that writer? The one who runs that stealth riverboat?" She nodded slowly. "Good. He and his partner were just here, after I'd tried to mind read him, and failed." He winced again. "I didn't fail, I was caught and tossed out after he nipped me for my presumption." She grinned. "Good. I've been after you about that filthy habit. That doesn't explain why they would lock us out of this section of the castle." I giggled and he blushed again. He hurried on. "Never mind. The short form is that he and Vel are something more to each other than mind mates, and she's now a part of their pack. They invited the rest of us, too. We had no idea the area was being blocked. It happened so fast I never thought about the possibility you or the twins would notice anyone was here. Obviously, they did--and did something about it." She glared, then sighed. "A flaming white wolfess who gently chides people, telling them 'Go away children, and play while the adults discuss serious matters', is definitely 'doing something'." She turned furious. "She not only handled the best I could throw at her, she made it look effortless." I grinned at her. "My, my, so they were yanking your chains, too. Very Bardic." Merlin laughed at Kay's glare. "Vel, It would be, since the two of you are one person. Anyway, it's over." Something made me look down at the twins. When they realized I was watching them, they deliberately flagged me, mocking my own heat. I laughed. "No, Merlin. Something tells me it's just beginning." ==== A Man, A Muse, and A Bitch --- The main doors creak eerily as a nose pushes against them and forces them open. The nose sneezes violently, and then it's followed by a lean and tall dog with glossy black fur that can remind a person of midnight on the tundra, or the inky, unknown depths of a mountain cave. He casually leans sideways, shouldering one door into its locked open position, then he stalks slowly into the room, his head and eyes moving constantly as he scans and catalogues his surroundings. He looks confident, but if they were there to see him, those who know him well would the see sadness and wistfulness in his eyes. When he reaches the middle of the room, he stops moving, then turns around to face back the way he came. Two forms emerge from the shadows, and slowly join him. One, a wolfess who wears fur that is the blinding white of an arctic summer, wears an expression similar to his own. The other, a golden furred Labrador Retriever bitch, enters with her tail high and wagging slowly. By the time she joins the other two, it has drooped between her hindquarters to hang limply. She settles on her haunches and scans the room. It is she who breaks the silence. "So many memories in here. I can feel the camaraderie, the shared laughter, and the shared pain. This..." She shakes her head from side to side slowly. "This place was never intended to be dusty and silent, remembering her past, alone." The dog nods, then shimmers, to replaced by a tall young man with bright red hair. He looks around again, then smiles a bit twistedly and moves behind the bar. He finds an abandoned bar rag, shakes the dust out of it and then starts to casually polish the counter top. "Welcome to La Taverna, Ladies. Some folks call me one thing, others another, but my friends call me Tom. An' what'll you lassies be havin' this evenin'?" The wolfess shimmers, to be replaced by a tall, slender, and red haired woman in a flowing white robe. The bitch simply changes without fanfare, into a muscular young blonde woman that might make a knowledgeable observer think of Viking longboats, and raiding parties, until they noted that she moves with the suppressed lethality of a warrior goddess. Aye, she is a prize worth raiding for, but it would take a seasoned warrior to carry her off. For now, however, she chooses to be an ordinary woman, or as much of one as she can be. "Well, Tom, I've been hearing a lot about this place, and you." "You have, have you? An' I'll be willin' ta wager that the tales are a mite exaggerated. Facts have a way of bein' ordinary don't ya know, so most folks as want to liven them up a bit when they passes them on." She nodded slightly. "So I understand." She smiled and her cheeks dimpled. "An' how much of the exaggeratin' of those tales would be your own?" He leaned backwards and roared with laughter. "Well said, Lassie! A mite, don't ya know. A man such as meself has a reputation to maintain." She giggled. "Never known a man who doesn't have a reputation, of some sort." He laughed again, then leaned on the area he'd dusted. "An' ain't you after being the charmer this evenin'. Do you even remember the question?" She sobered. "Of course I do, Tom. I'll have some Memories, straight up, with a Laughter chaser, for starters. After that, who knows? I might be hungry by then, for something with a little more substance to it." "An' here I was after thinkin' you'd be seekin' to challenge me." "Maybe later." He nodded, then turned to the other woman, who had settled on one of the bar stools to watch the byplay. "An' what might you be askin' after, Darlin'?" She smiled. "Laughter. Straight. I'm driving, this evening." He took her hand and lightly kissed the back of it. "I'm after thinkin' I may be the driven one, if I don't watch meself around you." Their eyes met and something passed between them, but she merley smiled again. "Perhaps." He let go and straightened abruptly. "Well, now. Let's be about satisfyin' you two lassies. Can't have you leavin' me unsatisfied, now can we?" They giggled and shook their heads. He looked around thoughtfully, then stepped out from behind the bar with the rag still in his hand. His first stop was the piano. He leaned over, then ran the rag across a spot near the middle, revealing a few dimples in the wood. "Toenails did that, and a memorable party it was, too. Folks always seemed to find something special to do during Winter Solstice and that year they outdid themselves, even by their standards. More than few lads and lasses stood there, too, over the years. Laid there, sometimes." He sat on the bench and lifted the cover, then idly ran a quick arpeggio across the keys and winced when he heard the sour notes. "Out of tune, now. That never used to happen." He gently closed the cover and stood, then turned and grinned. "Bet some of those folks are glad that wood can't show what it's seen." He was rewarded with some giggles and he smiled, then started examining the booths and tables. "Had more than our share of odd folks come though those doors, or otherwise gain admittance." He bent down to examine the seat of one booth, then snorted his amusement. "Heavy fellow used to come in here all the time. Turtle, of all things. Good sort though, but it was a good thing he always had problems with that atomic flame thrower he always carried. There were some times I was worried that the place was gonna go up in flames. Didn't though. Now that I think on it, we generally had other sorts of flames burning in here. I remember some times when he and those Girl Scouts came in for the evenin'..." He shook himself and smiled. "He settled down with another regular, eventually. Guess he found another path to travel. Wish him well, too." He left the booth and went looking for a certain table. "Ah. Been moved. Look here. Hobnails did that, and those gouges are from one of the most wicked knives I've ever seen. Hell of a woman. Memorable in more ways than one, too. That's another tale, though, and not fit for polite ladies like you folks." That got him laughter, and he smiled back again. "And there's this other fellow, another good hearted sort, but he always likes to sharpen his pencils with that damn Vorpal Blade he carries. Still, though, there were times when it was nice to have him around as a regular. He likes his pencils, but he was deft with a blade, too. Folks always respected that, and generally left him alone." Both of them smiled at the images he evoked, then nodded for him to continue. He looked around again, then walked over to the wall and touched a framed certificate. "This wasn't the first one of these awarded, but I think it was the most deserved. Potato Peeler Dueling was quite a fad for a couple years, and it's fitting that the woman who inspired it, did, eventually, get one of these." He sobered and briefly lost himself in his memories, then shook his head sadly and turned away. "Gone, now. But never forgotten, I hope." He sighed and went over to sit on the bar stool that was on the stage. "Lots of things happened here. Laughter, sorrow. For awhile we bought soapboxes by the truckload, and replaced them every month. People had things to say, and they were encouraged say it. Hell, you couldn't stop them from speaking out." "Had some memorable birthday parties, too, especially when the nymph was running them. She had personality, she did." That bit of understatement earned him some more giggles, and he nodded slightly and pointed at the red haired woman. "I wasn't here for some of them, but I understand you had something to do with some of the shenanigans that went on here." She laughed and pointed back. "I had some help, usually. There was this dog... Didn't have much sense and sometimes he went further over the top than he should have..." They grinned at each other and the blonde laughed at them. "I've heard about that dog. Always sounded like one of the exaggerations." Tom rocked his outstretched hand from side to side. "He was an exaggerated sort of fellow, don't ya know?" She nodded. "Sounded like it. I prefer to learn some things on my own." He smiled. "Wise of you." He lowered his hand to his lap, then looked around thoughtfully. "Lots of memories here, if you know how to see them. Mostly good, a few bad, and a few terrible, but La Taverna was real, and life doesn't always let you choose what types of adventures you'll have, and how you remember them." The blonde watched him, then whispered softly. "Could it be brought back to life?" He shrugged. "Sure it could, if the right folks wanted to get involved." She nodded slowly. "Could you do it?" He was silent a long time, then he slowly shook his head sadly. "People change, Love. Nobody can build a place like this used to be, without a lot of help from special people. Takes the kind of people who can make others believe, and they have to want to stand in front of the crowds and get noticed, along with other qualities. Empathy helps, and a willingness to visibly adapt enough to let people know their views are appreciated. There's an atmosphere it takes to entice new folks in. An open, welcoming one that actively encourages the expression of differences..." He stood and calmly brushed the dust off his clothing before he gazed at his reasons for living. "Mahika. Wolf. The dust tells its own story, to those who know how to read it--and I haven't been the type of person that it takes to rebuild a place like this for years, if ever." He shimmered and returned to being a dog. "Let's go home." They changed back to their original forms, joined him, and then the three of them ambled though the door, leaving it open for anyone who might wander by, notice it was open, and then wonder what was hidden behind it. ==== Fade to Black --------- Tom looks up from his dinner and smiles a little sadly at his dinner companions before he sips at his tea. "Time, loves. I don't think I have a lot of it left. Never will feel I have enough, but there're some things I want to say, parts of me I want to be sure are left behind, and there's nobody else to say them, or they are decisions I don't want to burden them with." Mahika and Wolf have been watching him intently, then they nod slowly before, as one, they reach for his hands. Mahika speaks first, and it is calmly, even though her tears are flowing. "I'll miss you." He tilts his head in what has now become a habit, a legacy of his ability to shape change at will. "And I, you, if it is given to me to remember." Wolf leans over and kisses him tenderly. "The bitch I was wouldn't have hesitated to join you, even though I've become immortal, if I choose to be." He smiles. "But?" She glances at Mahika, smiles a little sadly, then turns back. "I understand you better than she does, and know that she will need me. And, I love you too much to die for you, and that will give me the strength to remember that you have always wanted me to live. If there's anything I will regret, it will be that the choice was not only never given to you, it was never offered." "Thank you. Both of you." He stands and stretches. "Mahika? Would you show Wolf the proper controls, then join me--as yourselves?" "Of course." She and Wolf get up and walk to the control console, where they get involved in a discussion of what does what. Suddenly there's the subdued *thump* of the sound system coming on line, and that is followed by the sudden brightness of a quickly dimmed spotlight that sweeps across the stage to settle on a dusty bar stool that looks strangely forlorn and abandoned. They both shift to their natural forms, then Mahika gently picks up one of the lavaliere mics before they pad over to join Tom. He bends down, takes the offered microphone and then carefully pins it on. With that done to his satisfaction he turns it on and taps it gently, testing it. "Testing... Louder..." The appropriate control moves on its own as Mahika adjusts it, using a rare display of her powers. "1. 2. 3. Better... A little more..." He repeats the test one more time and then, satisfied, nods his head at his companions and gestures. "Shall we?" The three of them work their way to the stage, where he settles on the stool without bothering to wipe it off. After they flank him and settle on their haunches, he touches their heads lightly before settling in to look out at the shadows. "Good... Afterdaytime, since I know each booth and table is capable of being in its own time zone and reality, yet leave a portal open to the primary reality, if there ever was such a thing in the first place." "Call it La Taverna's primary locus and leave it at that." He chuckles. "After all, I helped build La Taverna, so I know better than most, what many of its inherent features are, even if I've never, or seldom, used them." "Anyway, this isn't intended to be my own eulogy or announcement of my retirement, because the truth is, I'm writing more than ever, at a sustained pace I wasn't willing to maintain until now. "But, as I believe Asimov once said when he was asked what he'd do if he was told he had one more year to live, my answer is the same as his was: 'Write faster!' "Life has a way of giving you warnings, sometimes, and mine was more vivid than many people are given. I have a gut level feeling that I have five to ten more years left to live, and yes, I'm angry about it, but I'm not going to deny it. "I'll take what I can get, you know? Or perhaps you don't. Some of you do, and for the rest, I hope that if you get the warning, it is far gentler than mine was, and it comes much later in your life." He pauses, reaches and pulls a glass out of the air, sips, and then puts it back. "I want to be remembered for more than my writing. I'm a real person, who makes right decisions, poor ones and downright memorable wrong ones, at times. "Like all of you, I'm much more than the simplified caricature you've had a chance to meet, and, regretfully, I have to admit I like it that way most of the time. "You see, I really do have friends in real life, and things I do here could seriously fuck up their lives after I die, so my choice of how much I reveal about myself has always come from that awareness. "Egotistical? "Certainly. But it's no different than what each of you does when you decide what to post. "Consider my position: I'm well known here for my sexuality, which in almost any current culture you can name, is considered 'odd', at best, no pun intended. "Because of that, I can be open about it only here, yet if I speak of the ordinary things in my life, those who would desire that I, and those like me be destroyed, would find it that much easier to seek us out. "It also costs me many chances for deeper friendships, but that's a price I chose to pay before I made my first post after realizing where the future might lead me, those many years ago. "There's a lot more to say, things like how I don't plan on ever completely leaving La Taverna behind, unless something happens in my life that forces that decision. "I was hoping, this year, to close out my life and writing as 'Thomas Galahalt', but that wasn't destined to happen, no matter how much I desired it. "I'll try to explain that. "I did some figuring, and learned that the average American paperback of 150 pages contains about 34,000 words. The working figure I base that on is 226 words per page. "After the first two months of the year, I sat back and looked at what I'd accomplished and decided that a realistic goal was to average 2,000 words per day, 5 days per week. This would let me settle in and treat my writing as a job for the first time, instead of the hobby I've always kept it, even though I was offered several chances to 'turn pro' and compete in the print world. "Anyway, what the numbers mean is that during the years I've been writing, I've only produced the equivalent of a little over twenty-three 150 page novels. Some folks here have done that much in a year, or less, but my original style was shorter and more condensed, so I never worried about my lack of volume. "2007 was a watershed year for me. My 'Summer Solstice' story and the work that followed broke me through the 'short story' barrier. The result has been that now, in 2009, I am comfortable thinking in terms of novels as my primary form of expression as a writer. In fact, I no longer consider ANY work near completion unless it has hit 35,000 words, minimum. "Combine that with my goal for daily output, and the result should be a sustained output of around 40,000 words per month. It's not a lot for a working author, but I felt that over the long term, I should be able to sustain it. "It was a realistic goal to set myself, and as events have proven, so far, I nailed it. "I missed a few weeks, but still, on May 31, I broke through with 203,000 words of new work. Much of that work is in the 22,000 word to 35,000 word range, with some of that being sequels to each other. "Unfortunately for my peace of mind, I was slightly dismayed when I realized 76,000 words of that has been postable only under this name because of the zoo/best content. "You've seen only a small portion of it so far, and the other 60k or so isn't going to be posted until I'm satisfied with its completeness. "What's going to happen to the rest of it, the other 128,000 words or so? "Well, some of that was new work that I might attempt to get published. The rest of it got added to already written work to continue some long term projects I've been working on for publication. "Guess I'm trying to say that it hurts to live with a constant awareness of how mortal I am, but I'm using that and the now platonic love of my dog, to keep me going, instead of giving up. "There's a hell of a lot more I'd like to pass on to anyone willing to listen, and over time I'm sure the pressure will build until I can't hold back. "Then I'll sit down, call my partners to my side, and we'll revisit the place that has done the most to encourage me to become the best writer I can be... "La Taverna." He stands and stretches, then smiles and conjures a mirror he can look into. After gazing at it awhile he makes it vanish with a theatrical waving of his hand, then smiles at the shadows. "Wondering what I saw? "Each and every one of you were there, and I could see you in me, and appreciate you, and everything you've done to help make me who I am. "Thank you." With that he turns off the microphone, bows deeply, then steps down with Mahika and Wolf at his side as the spotlight fades to black and they return to their booth in the shadows. ==== I looked up from the keyboard when two sets of paws hit my shoulders and neck at the same time. Then, when Mahika and Wolf giggled, I turned to glare at Makika. "You could have warned me about this, you know." She tried to play innocent, but I was watching her eyes. "Would you have done anything differently, if I had?" I sneezed at her. "I might have focused more on becoming an artist, instead of my writing." Then I turned to glare at Wolf. "And you... Bitch. You haven't helped any, with your 'just being an unobtrusively supportive Golden Retriever' routine." She ignored me and grinned without saying anything, until I had to laugh and hug her. "Yeah, life is fun again, isn't it? And that's all that really matters." She giggled. "Feel better?" "A little, but I'll definitely feel better once the three of us are on the hide-a-bed on the porch." Mahika touched my face and turned my head so we could watch each other. "We got it ready hours ago. Just been waiting for you to hit a break point." I shook my head. "Well, I have, for now. 61,000 words in 16 days, with 53,000 of those words being one story, is a lot, even for me. I wish I'd known that the decision to turn my writing into a reliable tool was going to be this productive. I'm starting to think that setting myself a goal of 2kwords per day, 5 days per week was a seriously low estimate, now. That 4 days in a row of about 8kwords *each* wasn't the strain it would have been even a year ago." She smiled. "So what *is* your daily average, these days?" I chuckled. "About 4kwords. With that recent increase, I'm going to be pretty close to what I'd hoped for, for the first half of the year. I'm thinking I'll hit 250kwords of postable material by the end of the month, and that's a lot closer to my goal than I expected to be, after those two long breaks." She started to grin and I glared at her again before she could say anything. "Not a word, DAMNIT! I *know* that if I keep it up, there's a good chance I'll write as much in less than two years--as I did in just over fourteen. I've already written twice as much as I did *last* year, and it was one of my most productive, posting wise." She nodded her head slightly. "Are you counting the stuff you wrote but haven't posted anywhere, yet?" "No. Nothing that was in my hoppers before the first of this year. If I did that, the total for all of the stuff in my hoppers is about 730kwords, including the 240kwords I've done this year. The unfinished Man and Muse stuff accounts for only about 40k of that total and the rest of the TBD stuff totals about 325kwords. The rest is distributed amongst the other pen names I'm currently using. "There's a lot I've been working into other work, and I know there's some I'll probably never finish or post. I might put a lot of it in a 'giveaway-story-starter' zip somewhere and post that, but I don't know." I sighed. "And there's the stuff in the major series and serial work I've been doing over the years. I'd love to close some of that out, someday, but I just don't know if I'll ever be interested enough to take the time to do that." I snorted mildly. "I guess I've done ok for a part time amatuer writer. In 15 years of serious writing, I've produced about 1,500,000 words, not counting all the email, usenet and other posts I've done." 613 words It was a dark night, but the only storm brewing was the one behind the eyes of the largest of the three wolves walking confidently along the sidewalk. When they walked past a familiar door his nose twitched in that direction, and one ear twitched slightly, but that was the only indication he knew where he was. The other two slowed slightly and looked at each other across his back, then they sped up and flanked him again. His lips curled into an incipient grin, then he changed his mind and let them curl into a difficultly suppressed snarl, instead. They both noticed, and instead of honoring the implied warning, moved closer, until they had him pinned between them. They slowed, eventually forcing him to stop, then the white one glared at him. "Hold still." Before he could react, the three of them vanished. * * * They reappeared in a grassy clearing that overlooked a small, tree filled valley that had a stream running through it. He turned and grabbed the white wolfess by her throat and growled at her menacingly. "Why?" It was the other wolfess who responded calmly. "We're tired of you hiding from yourself, again." He let go of the white wolfess, sighed, and suddenly a middle aged man was standing in the wolf's place and he was bent over, as if he suffered under some great load. "Damnit. You two know me too well, sometimes." The young wolfess who had spoken calmly, nodded her head, and then changed form until she was a large Golden Retriever. When she was done shifting she settled on her haunches and watched him with love in her eyes. "Merry Summer Solstice. Love." His lips twitched, then he sighed. "Yeah, Wolf. Thanks, I guess." He turned to study the white wolfess and then raised his eyebrows. "Well?" She turned until her haunches were facing his direction, then she flagged him and looked back over her shoulder. "Use the force, Tom." He shook his head wearily, but his eyes betrayed his humor when he was enveloped in a white corona. He pointed, and a white bolt of energy lanced from his extended finger to stop just before it touched her vulva. Then it thickened and entered her, and she gasped and jerked backwards. They held that pose for a few minutes, then the wolfess slumped and her head dropped. "Enough!" The corona vanished, and he knelt to hug her. "Sorry I've ignored both of you, Love. I've been hurting too much to know what to do." She turned and licked his face. "We know. But now?" He sighed and held out an arm, inviting Wolf to join them. She nestled into his hug, then raised her head to lick his face tenderly. He sighed again, smiled slightly, then let go of them both, settled into a half lotus, and gazed at the valley before them. "Now, Loves? We go on, of course. Things will be different, yet the same, again." They looked at each other, then settled to lie on either side of him so he could pet them while he meditated. Mahika settled her chin on her outstretched legs and sighed with relief. "Good." The crisis was over. * * * Note to my readers: "Sorry folks. I sorta had something planned for the Summer Solstice, but RL took over again, and it didn't happen. This is my apology. Hopefully, things will change and I might get something done for Fall Equinox, or even Winter Solstice. "Who knows? "I certainly don't, any more. "Take care of yourselves, eh? And thanks for putting up with me all these years. It means a lot." ==== On Tue, 7 Jul 2009 23:16:55 -0700 (PDT), Gary Jordan <gary.s.jordan@gmail.com> wrote: >A few days back, I posted to the ASSTR_ASSM_Authors Yahoo Group the >following post, then said to myself, "ASSD might enjoy talking about >story mechanics, too." So here it are: Tom looks up blearily from the herbal drink he's been idly contemplating whilst he waits for Mahika to earn her keep, and unravel a plot point he's been too lazy--and too tired--to focus on. "You know..." He mutters to no one in particular, "If semicolons had to depend on me for survival, they'd be on the endangered species list. Nice enough, I suppose, when you get to know them well, but generally speaking, I have no use for them. "None at all, at all..." His voice trails off into silence, then he brightens a little. "Ellipses and emdashes, now, those things are like coat hangers around my place. Always getting mixed up in everything, but I don't mind. Ellipses are handy to have around when a character gets contemplative, or distracted. Make a nice way to let folks know there's a lot more going on than is visible..." Mahika settles opposite him and shakes her head wearily. "Nasty one. Too many ways to solve it, but none of them are right for the direction the story is headed. Need more time." He smiles slightly. "Got it. 'Bout time you had a chance to earn your keep." Her lips curl into an almost snarl, but she's unwilling to show how irritated she is. She'd known he was saving *something* to hit her with, as part of their game, but she wasn't going to admit how downright nasty and difficult this problem had become. She decided to finally admit he'd scored. "Make's a boar's dick look straight." His lips twitched as he suppressed a grin--but that was his only acknowledgment of his victory. He lifted his mug and shifted it so the contents formed a small whirlpool, matching the turbulence of his thoughts. "Emdashes. Hate to admit it, but I need to find more work for them. Hasn't been a lot in my life--or writing--that I've wanted to emphasize, recently. "Weary of it all, or most of it. Patience gets boring, when you've had to use it as much as I have, but I suppose I should be glad it's there when I need it." His head comes up, and he studies the third member of their group. Her head tilts slightly, and there's no mistaking the worry for him that she's been barely able to control. He sees it and nods. "Watching it by observing my past, and living through it are a tad bit different, eh?" She sneezes. "Mildly so, yes." "Not as bad this time, or I'm getting used to it, again." He sighs, lifts his mug, and drains it. "Doesn't matter. You grrls done here?" The two women look at each other and Mahika laughs gently. "Told you he'd know what you were doing." Wolf sneezes delicately. "Never doubted it. Works better when the victim is willing. The rest of the cure is best applied in a bed." She stands and holds out her hand. The mug gets set back on the table, then he takes hold and rises into a hug. "Slow, might take years." "So?" "True." His head turns back. "Well?" Mahika nods, and the three of them vanish. ==== The Power of One - Man and Muse --- Wolf glared at me. "Don't you *ever* quit?" I laughed at her. "Of course I do. When I'm not writing, fucking you and Mahika, or eating, I sleep." "Bullshit! Even your dreams get turned into stories." "Not always. I don't put everything into the hopper." She snarled, then settled on her haunches and sighed. "Get it out of your system. I'm going outside, though." Then she turned her head so she could sneeze her disgust at Mahika, who had come in to find out what was going on. "And you! You get off on this--so you *encourage* him!" Mahika laughed and came over to rub my shoulders. "If I didn't, you wouldn't be sitting there. Bitch." Wolf's jaw dropped. "You... You... "MUSE!" Then she stood and shook herself vigorously before she stalked out of the den. "I'm going to go chase my own tail, or do something equally pointless--like digging another hole in the flowerbed." I grinned and spoke to her retreating form mildly. "Thanks. It will make it easier to thin the Iris. Been meaning to do that, anyway." That earned me a growl and an angry flick of her tail. After we heard the dog door swing shut I tilted my head back so I could grin at Mahika. "She thinks I think too much." She raised her eyebrows. "Uh huh. There's more to it than that. What set her off *this* time?" I contrived a shrug without breaking eye contact. "The Power of One." She groaned, then shifted to her lupine form and left without saying anything. I stretched, chortled--and then went back to my writing. ==== I like to do something for the Solstices, usually, and at times, I'll come up with something inspired by one of the Equinoxes... ---- The Wandering Wolves - Balance ---- We'd hiked to one of our favorite overlooks and I'd settled on the sleeping bag Mahika had packed in. Then, she and Wolf had 'gone natural', romped a bit, and eventually joined me for some attention. I'd been brushing them for awhile when I chortled, and Wolf looked at me suspiciously. She sneezed delicately, then asked me the inevitable question. "What was that for?" "Just a whimsical thought. 'Even the extraordinary have to live in the mundane world.' Guess it's 'that time of year', and my mind is making odd associations." She sneezed her disgust. "Try again. You're a working author. It's always 'that time of year', for you." Mahika, who I thought was asleep, opened one eye to study us. "Are you sure you want what's coming? 'Whimsical' is a sure sign he's gone metaphysical on us." Wolf twitched an ear in Mahika's direction. "Good. As a Muse, you have your compulsions, and that's fine. As a Golden, I have mine, and understanding my person is one of them." Mahika sighed and reclosed her eye. "Don't ever say I didn't warn you." I shook my head and chuckled. "Draw." Wolf rolled to her back and spread her hind legs. "Keep brushing, and keep talking." She closed her eyes and sighed contentedly. "I like your touch--and the sound of your voice." "A couple of fetishes I can feel comfortable encouraging." I went back to gently brushing her and each stroke was matched with a verbalized thought "Equinox. "Balance. "Male and female. "Yin-Yang. "Or, pertinent to my earlier chortle, 'extraordinary vs. ordinary', and the need to balance that in my life." I paused in my brushing and nibbled her stomach with my fingers. "Petting you is ordinary." I moved and gently rubbed along the edges of her vulva. "Even this, is ordinary, when looked at dispassionately." Then I shifted so I could cradle her head and kiss her nose. "Ahh... But add the mutual love, and the ordinary becomes quite extraordinary. Thus, a balance is reached. Granted, it's a dynamic one, but it's there, and without it, neither aspect of my life would be noticeable enough to be properly appreciated." I let go of her head and ran my hands over her again. "People sometimes ask me how I can so easily see what others do not. They wonder that I can take the extraordinary for granted, yet see the ordinary as a miracle--and treasure it at least as much as I treasure the extraordinary in my life." I laughed. "Balance is what lets me do it. The act of balancing things forces me to see both, and their relationships to each other, and myself." I picked up the brush and studied it briefly before I used it to gently tease her chest hair into order. "Even you do it, every time I brush you. The balance of the pleasures of being brushed, vs the pleasures of enjoying how you feel when I stop. Without both, would you appreciate either--as much as you do?" She opened one eye to watch me. "Metaphysical pomposity. It sounds good, but I think the truth is a lot simpler, even for you." I chuckled. "Likely. My interpretation of my current truth depends on my mood. Enlighten me." She laughed. "Call it a reinterpretation, since we're pretending to be searching for the meaning of the whichness." I nodded and went back to slowly bushing her. "Fair enough." "Intelligence seems to have a need to make the simple, complex. Once I reached a threshold in my awareness of self, I found myself doing it, and it annoyed me." I nodded. "Everything is simple, or complex. Any author can tell you that allowing for the pov of the reader is at least as important as choosing the right pov for the story itself. It affects interpretation, significantly." She sneezed disgustedly. "We've both heard you bitch about *that* problem. "But, after I reached another threshold, call it 'maturity of thinking', I found myself searching for simplicity again, and much to my surprise, *that* simplicity made the simplicity of my youth seem complex." I raised my eyebrows as I thought about her words, then nodded slowly. "I think I can see that. Go on." She laughed again. "I don't have a lot more to say. I think your reason for appreciating things so well is very simple. You don't take anything for granted. Given that, the rest is inevitable." Instead of responding directly, I set the brush aside and lay beside her. Then I worked enough of her fluids out to lubricate her so I could enter easily. Once I was sheathed, I paused and hugged her while we kissed each other. Then, I pulled away enough to whisper my last words of the morning. "But isn't it fun, sometimes, pretending life is more complex than it really is?" She giggled. "Fun's over. Fuck me." I did. ==== Curse you, White Wolfess! ----- Here I was, calmly working my way along and trying to get some momentum back so I could meet my writing goals for the year. Succeeding, too. 259 days into the year, and I was only about 26,000 words behind. Naively, I figured I could relax and work on existing stuff, cleaning out some of the hopper material, in addition to adding the odd, and *small*, bits of new work that would help me catch up by the end of the year... So, this morning, I wake up from a dream and decide it's memorable enough to jot down as a new story idea. "Stupid move, ya ol' dog!" 6,200 words later, The 'jot' has become the *beginning* of an intro to a new novel. Obviously, it put a 4,200 word dent in the number of words I need to write, if I want to catch up, so that's good... But I think, at this point, I'd prefer to have a few nightmares, instead of inspirations. *Those* I can forget, and then move on with my life! . . . "Sometimes I can't stand living with a proactive Muse!" --- afterword: For the unaware, my goal has been to average 2,000 words per day, five days per week. As of 9/17 that means my target word count, based on 186 productive days, in theory, was 372,000 words. My actual production was just over 352,000 words. IOW, I'm actually quite content with the situation, and would be even if I had to stop writing. ==== The Price of Admission Is... A Man & Muse scene --- I glanced at the two canids settled on either side of me and sighed. "Well?" They looked at each other, then shrugged with their ears. Mahika spoke easily. "You're the author, it's your problem, not ours, this time." I managed a sneeze of disgust. "You're ducking." "No. My job has always been inspiration, or doing whatever it takes to get you started. Finding the words is usually your job." I looked at Wolf. "What about you?" She grinned. "Since we're role playing, I'm the contented bitch who is happy to be settled at her Master's feet, sucking up whatever attention he can spare while he cudgels his brain for a way out of the problem he set himself." "Heh. Would have been simpler to say you're not a Muse, and never will be, 'bitch'. "True. Been around you too long." I shrugged. "Any suggestions, anyway?" "Sleep on it." "With you?" She sneezed. "I should have seen that coming." I grinned at her while Mahika sneezed her amusement. "You will, if I sleep with you." She sighed. "That's part of Mahika's job." I turned my head slightly so I could study Mahika. "Not this time. That's part of the attention you can suck up." "What is? Doing your job for you? Forget it." My eyebrows went up, then I sighed and nodded. "Sorry. You're right. Mind if I think out loud while I pet you?" "Get the comb." "Right." I stood, stretched, then went and found the comb before I settled next to Wolf and started gently grooming her. "Sorry, Love. Stupid stress getting to me again, and I was treating you like I do Mahika. I know better, usually." She sneezed. "How the fuck can I help, when I don't know what you're talking about? Besides, I don't share your obsession for communication." I sighed. "Ok. The problem is fairly simple, I suppose. I'll miss my production goal for the year, and it depresses me, even though I know this has been my most productive year, since I started writing and posting the results. Then there is the problem of what to do with everything I've written. I can't make up my mind if I want to just toss it all out there under one pen name, or go ahead and try to sell some of it." She rolled to her back. "Still afraid of success?" "Yeah. Success would give me at least some temporary financial stability, but..." She closed her eyes and thought about it while I kept combing her. I kept finding debris mixed into her fur. "Where on Earth have you been, this time?" "Hunting, and I was taken on a long run through a bramble patch." "I noticed. Want me to check for ticks?" "No. I shielded my body." "Kay." She opened her nearest eye, studied me for awhile, then snorted softly. "Think it's about time you admitted your real problem isn't the writing?" I winced. "Yeah. Ok. You nailed it." "Of course I did. I'm a *companion* bitch, one that's from a bloodline that's been bred to get along with humans. Didn't need immortality to help with that ability." She suddenly rolled to her feet and nuzzled me forcefully before she backed off slightly. "You aren't normal, Tom. Never have been, never will be." I broke contact with her eyes by lowering my head. "Yeah. Wish I didn't keep forgetting that." She sneezed. "You do, though, and that's a human thing more than it is an animal one. We keep our dreams simpler, and more selfish." I wanted to deny what she was forcing me towards, but I knew better, really, so I let the silence between us drag out before I eventually sighed. "I hear you, Wolf. I know what the decision has to be." "People who don't know the real you will try to get you change your mind." I snorted. "Like they don't do that already?" She sneezed again. "Point." This time, when I brought my head up, I let go of the control I'd been maintaining, and let the tears flow. "One more illusion, that I have to let go of." "Say it." I nodded tiredly. "I've never been normal, and no matter how much I'd like to force myself to be normal, it's time I admitted it's always been a dream, a delusion, that I could someday be 'a real human being', and expect to have a long term relationship with a human." She waited, and I sighed. "Wolf, you and Mahika are my perfect mates, the ones I deserve to be with, the people I've earned in my life, if you'll have me." She presented herself and flagged me, without saying anything, then looked over her shoulder before she headed for the bedroom. When I looked at Mahika she had a slight smile on her face, then she shook her head. "Not this time. I'm only your Muse. Wolf is your Wife. Admit it to yourself, and go to her." "It hurts, Love. I hurt for *you*." She nodded. "I hurt, too, but this has to be done, and we will have a better future because of it, so be selfish and do what you must, for yourself, this time. I will be waiting for you." "Promise?" "Of course. Now, go do some more growing up--and start being the person you were always meant to be. Your wife is waiting for you." I nodded my thanks, then did one of the hardest things I'd ever done. I turned away from Mahika without saying a word, and left her lying on the floor without an invitation to join us, while I went to the bedroom to let my wife help me adjust to reality as it was, not the reality I had always deluded myself into thinking was the one I should be living in. ==== Ever wonder how Merlin, and his family, celebrate Winter Solstice at home? As you might expect, when the ways of power are involved, things can quickly turn interesting, and a little complicated, especially when you add in their close friends, Tom, Mahika and Wolf. Quick, raw, but still, something of a romp, especially for the people who lived through it! Happy Solstice, neighbors. --- Solstice at The Castle --------- I moved a pin a fraction of an inch and then stood, stretched and turned Chrys around so she could study the result in the mirror. "Well, Ambassador?" She moved a little, then raised and lowered her arms. "I can't see any difference when I'm standing still, but whatever it was you did, The gown is a lot more..." I chuckled. "Slinky and enticing?" She suddenly went hipshot and studied the effect. "Elegantly seductive, Tom. I'm supposed to look proper and demur, not like a..." She giggled. "Vixen in heat. Which I will be soon, unfortunately." She turned and hugged me carefully. "Thanks for all the time and effort you've put into this. Kay couldn't have done better." I chuckled. "Of course not, and you have my memories, so you know why she couldn't." Chrys frowned slightly. "We all know you taught her how to be a seamstress. That's not what I'm talking about, this time." "Oh?" "No. There's another reason I asked you to make my gown, once I cleared it with Mahika and Wolf." I stood next to her and studied us in the mirror. "I can feel your amusement, Love. But I'm not going to dig this time." "Thanks for that courtesy, but you know I have never worried about the lack of privacy our links force on us." "You're welcome." "The reason I asked is because Kay would be seeing the effect of my gown as a woman who wants to tastefully seduce her audience. You, on the other hand, see it through the eyes of a man who is also my lover, and wants to get others to see the person he's in love with. You've done what I would have said was impossible, which is make a tastefully elegant ball gown into something the most wanton seductress would blush to wear in public, when I want it to be that way." "Thank you, Chrys. It wasn't easy. I'm truly sorry you had to spend so much time standing still, and then posing and moving for me." She let her ears show her mixed amusement and agitated frustration. "I don't mind, and you know it. It's been a long time since I was the sole focus of a man as intensely focused as you were. I... Needed that." I sighed, because I knew what was on the menu next. "I can feel the effort you've been putting into maintaining your control, and I know it's slipping rapidly. Let me help you out of that gown so I can hang it up." She let me carefully disrobe her and once she was naked she stretched and I could both see her rapidly rising wantonness and feel her control spells dissipating even though she fought to keep them in place. I took the time to send a thought to Mahika and Wolf, then I grabbed her in a hug, kissed her... And place shifted us to a mountain clearing, since I knew a time shift wouldn't do anything to reduce what she was feeling, when we got back. When she felt the currents settle, she was all over me, and through the last of her awareness, she whispered words I hadn't heard cross her lips in years. "It's been too long. I have to let go, completely." I kissed her tenderly. "I hear you, and I'll be with you, completely." Then both of us let go of everything that made us civilized. We grabbed at each other, not caring if we hurt the other person or not. Her scent engulfed me, and I roughly jammed my fingers into her dripping cunt while she grabbed for my penis and began milking it hungrily, almost jerking it off my body with each pull as she tried to get me close enough she could move to jam me inside her. I wanted the same thing she did, so I removed my hand and let her guide me as I lunged forward. I bent, but didn't break, then she moaned and moved me enough the release of pressure drove me deeply into her body. She let go, and her claw tips became talons that drove into my buttocks as she jerked us together and started to hump me. It was painful, and part of me knew I had to be bleeding, but the pain was pleasure, and it only inflamed me even more as I rutted with her. Both our orgasms came quickly, and when I screamed from the shock of pleasure that jolted me forward before my arms locked in an embrace that could have killed her if I'd had my hands in the wrong places, and hadn't been an immortal, she howled a counterpoint as she spasmed, and drew long furrows into my butt with her claws. I didn't care. I wasn't even aware I was bleeding profusely, or that I had snatched huge clumps of fur out of her buttocks. All I knew was that I wasn't done, and I started pumping again, seeking another orgasm. She joined me briefly, then managed to jerk free and kneel until she could close her jaws around me to suckle eagerly. The scraping of her teeth served to do what her cunt couldn't have done, which was get me to reach my second, and then a third orgasm, without wilting. At the end of my third orgasm I deliberately fell forward, using my weight to drive her body flat before I slid down and roughly jammed a fist into each hole. She yipped from the initial pain, which made me drive even deeper and harder, then she started the high pitched keening that told me she was orgasming. My ego gloated at this sign of how good a lover I was, then I deliberately fisted her harder, and kept an eye on her until she passed out. At that point I knew she was mine, and I crawled up her body and stabbed her with my now erect penis, again. I was brutal, and even in her passed out state, I could feel her body responding and her cunt spasming forcefully. When I felt the spasms slow, I started brutally tweaking her nipples, until her body spasmed again. Eventually she was as unresponsive on the inside as she was on the outside, and with that, my ego took over and made me grin at her inert body. "So, Vixen. Can't handle a real lover, can you?" Then I passed out and collapsed on top of her. * * * I woke to the touch of paws sliding over my body. I started to stretch, screamed because of the pain I felt, then realized I was on my back and my butt hurt like hell. I searched my memories, and finally found the ones that told me what had happened, which made me jerk partway up so I could look at Chrys. "You ok?" She laughed. "I hurt, but at least I'm satiated enough the edge is gone, and Merlin can deal with me until I go out of heat. He understands the situation, and it doesn't bother him that much, any more." She looked me over and smiled. "You look as bad as I feel. Ready to be put back together?" I looked at her hips and chuckled a bit ruefully. "I see I removed fur this time. Can't say I'm really sorry, considering. I vaguely remember you damn near strangling my prick when I did it." She giggled. "I guess I'll have to be careful about what I expose at the Solstice Ball." I pulled her into a hug and kissed her tenderly. "Relax. I've learned a few tricks with power since the last time. When I'm done, you'll have all your fur back, and no scars." She nodded. "I should have remembered that," Then she grinned. "You'd have to do it yourself, anyway, because I can't see back there." I laughed. "Well, Love, I won't mind another close look at your backside." She pulled herself free and looked down at me with a grin. "I feel the same way about you. I did the front while you were still passed out. Roll over, Old Dog." I grinned back, then rolled over and relaxed while she went over my body and made repairs. I felt her pause for a long time while her hands were on my butt, then she sighed. "This is going to take awhile, I managed to severely tear the muscle on one side. Sorry." "No problem. Part of the experience, and I know it. We can't kill each other, so I'm not worried about the damage, since it's temporary." She gently patted me. "Thank you. Merlin, with all his experience and knowledge, isn't that understanding. Now, relax and let me focus for awhile." I winced a few times as she put things back the way they should be, and finally I sensed her relax before she patted me again. "Fixed." I rolled to my back and she surprised me by frowning. "Oops. Don't move. I almost forgot something." She cupped my balls and even though her touch was gentle, I couldn't completely stifle my scream of pain. The pain vanished almost immediately after I felt it, and she eventually removed her hand and studied the results of her work. She winced, then stroked my penis gently, and I felt my skin shift slightly. She pulled away again, nodded, and then smiled at me. "I don't remember doing it, but at some point I must have put my claws through your balls. Your scrotum was full of blood and looked about ready to burst.. Looked like I ripped a pretty deep gash in your penis, too." I shook my head. "Felt like you were getting ready to rip them off when you touched them. Now I know why." Then I took the time to study what I could see of her body and I winced. "Sorry, Love. We'd better switch places so I can make repairs on you. You must be in a lot of pain." She shrugged. "It's suppressed, and I took the time to stop the bleeding before I checked you over. As you say, nothing permanent, and while the damage is a result of unrestrained lust, the lust was allowed free reign out of love. The only regret I have is that Merlin will never be able to satisfy me when my need is as great as it was." I nodded, then sat up while she settled. I sighed when I looked her over. "I know you've suffered worse, Love, but I did more damage than usual, didn't I?" She sighed. "You did, but not nearly as much as a hare would have done, and you know it." "True. Wrenched a hip out of place, didn't I?" "Yes." "OK. Same drill. Relax while I do the repairs. I'm going to start with the internal repairs." I put my hands on her pubes and 'felt' for any damage I'd done, then winced when I realized how much I'd stretched her and torn her in places. Instead of saying anything, because she already knew the toll, and would have repaired herself if she'd had to, I gathered power and started encouraging her to heal. When I was done, I could see some of the tension had left her body, but she was still suppressing a lot of pain, so I took a deep breath and gently worked her hip back into position before I placed a hand over her vulva and made the cosmetic repairs that would return her to her normal appearance. Her ears had flattened when I brushed against her clit, and her lips peeled back in a silent snarl, but she kept from doing anything else while I soothed her until the swelling and redness had left. When I was done I chuckled. "No wonder you were satiated so quickly. Your clit had to have been supersensitive with all the damage I did to it." Her eyes snapped open. "How bad was it? All I could tell was that it hurt and was swollen." "Search my memories." I opened myself and let her see what I had seen while I was working on it, and she winced. I sighed. "I must have accidentally sliced it with a fingernail, somehow." She finally sighed and relaxed. "Not as bad as what's happened in the past. I had one lover bite it almost all the way off. Wasn't much holding it on, but there was enough for me to reattach it." It was my turn to wince. "I hope I forget that by the time this happens again." She smiled. "We can compare notes after you get done." I laughed. "Right." I fixed the damage I'd done to her colon, then the rest of the repairs were fairly simple ones like dealing with the tear in one nipple, and healing the various scratches and holes she'd picked up from my fingernails or the rocks she'd landed on. When I checked her muzzle, I frowned. "I don't remember doing anything to your head, so how did I manage to tear your lip like that?" She giggled. "I kissed you after I woke up, and you were still passed out. For some reason, instead of kissing back, you bit me." I shook my head. "Not a clue, Chrys. Write it off to the wolf in me, I guess. Anyway, hold still while I repair that." I ran a finger over it to guide me while I healed the tear, then I went back over it and carefully made sure her fur was back the way it should be. I pulled back and studied the results, then sighed. "I think I got it right, but you'd better check yourself in a mirror and make any changes I missed." "Thanks, Tom. I'll do that." "Ok" Then I grinned at her. "Roll over, and I'll fix the cosmetic damage on your butt." She giggled as she rolled over, then relaxed while I ran my hands over her and used power to make her skin heal and her fur grow back. When I was done I couldn't see any evidence of scaring or missing fur, so I patted her gently, then stretched out beside her and hugged her. "All fixed, Chrys." She nuzzled me. "Thanks. It's a lot better when we fix each other, instead of doing it ourselves." I sobered a little, and ran my hand over her body. "Get it out of your system, Love. I know you need to externalize things." She sighed, then shifted until her head was against my chest. "Hold me." I rewrapped her in a firm hug, and wasn't surprised when she wept the great, wracking sobs of frustration and emotional pain that had been held under tight control for far too long. After all, she'd held me more times than I could count, while I'd done the same thing. It was the price, and joy, we shared, for being who we were. I was mostly blank when she hiccupped a few times, and her sobbing slowed. My reaction was both automatic and deliberate, just as hers was. I reached and ran my hands over her head, and made it a point to work her ears while she ran her hands over my body, and gently explored, as if it was our first time together, except she didn't have the tentativeness of a new lover. She knew what she wanted to do, and feel, so she did it without hesitation, and with the same confidence her hormone driven lust had forced on her. Eventually she slowed her movements and resnuggled. "I love both of you, more than I ever dreamed was possible, until I felt it." I knew the script she was using, so I kept my answer simple. "But?" "Neither one of you is the other, and both of you are flawed, in different ways." I sighed. "We are all flawed, Love, and we learn it as children, or kits." She giggled briefly, then sobered. "True. For Bards, that knowledge can become a burden, because we have to be aware of our racial flaws, not just our own." "Go on." "I may point out the path to change and improvement, for others, but I dare not walk all the way down that path, myself." "Ambassador, you haven't been a true Bard for generations, and you know it." She flinched, then relaxed. "You would have gotten along well with Nikki, when the two of you weren't at each other's throats, metaphorically speaking." I laughed. "Based on your memories, I have to agree with that assessment. But, Love, Ash and his mate are the ones I would have liked to meet, and talked with if I had been able." "Oh?" I smiled. "I would have felt a kinship with you and Nikki even if you and I weren't linked. We're much alike, the three of us. Agents of change and stability who can seldom change, themselves. Ash and his mate, on the other hand, were products of the changes you and Nikki nurtured until they bore fruit, and that fruit matured." She was smiling when she looked at me. "You'd never be a good Bard. You aren't subtle enough." "I'm only human. I can allow myself to change, but I find it nearly impossible to deliberately change myself." "Give it up. I'm part of your environment, change me." "You won't have the excuse, any more. It will be your conscious choice, as it is for me, every time. That's not an easy thing to live with." "But it will give me the one thing I've craved, all my life." I kissed her tenderly again. "Control." "And since coming to Earth, the other thing I've craved, Merlin." "Kay will know, and Merlin will fight you, at first." "You let me worry about that. He'll go along, once he realizes what the goal is. He's only inhibited, not unaware." I chuckled, then closed my eyes and put one hand over her womb and the other hand on her forehead. "Take me deep into your center, Love." She put one of her hands on my forehead, the other one on the one that was on her stomach, then we opened to each other, and went on a journey that only mind mates who had the ability to control power, could make. When it was over, she kissed me tenderly. "Thank you, Tom." Then she vanished. I chuckled again, stretched, then went home so I could finish her gown. * * * The three of us looked each other over, made a few minor adjustments to get our clothing perfect, then touched hands and place shifted to the entryway of Merlin's castle. The twins were there, in elegant evening gowns from a bygone era, and they smiled before they hugged us. "Welcome, all of you." "Thank you, Cathy." She curtsied. "Enter, and be prepared for a new, and radiant, Velvet." "Thank you for your welcome, and the warning." She touched me lightly. "Kay is upset with herself for not helping Vel long ago, and Merlin, of course, is dazzled." I brought her hand down so I could kiss the back of it. "It was not a solution Kay could provide. She is a woman, after all. As for Merlin, I think he will quickly become undazzled, and surprised when it happens." Becky tipped her head in inquiry and I grinned at her. "Be patient. It is my hidden Solstice Gift to the two of them. You'll know when they discover it." Her eyebrows rose. "They? You managed to keep it hidden in spite of the links you and Vel have?" "Even a Master Bard may be misdirected." She flinched, then suddenly straightened. "You didn't!" "She did it to herself, with my guidance." "You are a very devious man, Thomas." "I know, and I love her." She moved aside. "Enter, all of you, and enjoy yourselves." "Thank you." Mahika and Wolf flanked me, then we linked arms and walked the hallway until we got to the entry to the Great Hall. The subdued sounds of a Ball in progress flowed over us when the doors swung open to reveal Kay, who had disdained the frivolity of a gown and chosen to wear a frillier version of the gingham dresses she favored. "Welcome, to all of you. "Ladies, if you would release Tom to my care, I will not harm him while you take the time to help the Ambassador beguile our guests. She will, I'm certain, appreciate the lessening of the crowd that has surrounded her since she made her appearance on Merlin's arm." Both of them looked at the crowd that surrounded Chrys, hugged me, then worked their way over to stand next to her, at which point I looked at Kay, who had also watched the trek. I laughed softly when she gasped and turned to me with surprise in her eyes. "The outfits I created for Mahika and Wolf are designed to add to Lady Chrystal's allure, of course. This is her home, and we did not wish to detract from her presence." She linked arms with me after she motioned me out of the Hall and closed the doors, then she walked us to her office. We settled on her couch with her on my lap, then she sighed with relief. "I can't decide if I should thank you, or curse you. Once word got out about Vel, the twins have been kept busy turning away gate crashers, so I and the staff have had to deal with everything else, which, to tell the truth, hasn't been doing much more than making sure the buffet is kept stocked." She giggled and touched my hands. "Vel told us you changed her, and helped her get the control of her hormone driven lust, that she has always wanted. What else did you do? You had to know I'd see the changes, even if I didn't know what they were, in detail." I nuzzled her neck. "Nope. If I tell you, she'll dig it out of my mind, and that would spoil the surprise." Kay laughed. "So that's the way of it, is it? Whatever it was, thank you. She's been more radiant and ravishing than I've ever seen her, ever since she put the gown on for the ball. All the men, including Hubert, have been drooling over her every time she teases them, and most of the women are so awed they haven't had time to be jealous. I thought you taught me all your tricks, but that gown of hers..." She sighed. "When Vel first modeled it for us girls, she looked properly elegant. We decided she was ready, so we called Merlin in. He did his usual inspection and absent minded nod of appreciation, then uttered the appropriate words. She must have been upset with his indifference, because she shifted a hip, his eyes got wide--and we thought he was going to take her right there and bedamned to her gown and his formal robe, before she shifted again and he came out of his lust induced trance!" I was laughing when she finished. "Good! It took far longer than I expected, to get that effect, and we barely had time to get it off of her before we place shifted and she let the last of her control dissipate." Kay giggled briefly, then sobered and turned in my arms so she could kiss me. "We knew, of course. Hubert... Took it well, for him, and I comforted him as best I could. He didn't come completely out of his funk until she returned and confirmed what he'd felt the two of you do. I don't think he quite believes what she told us about never needing you or anyone else that way, again, because he will be able to satisfy her when she has the need that intensely." "It will take time, before he can. They both have much to learn before they will feel fully comfortable with the new conditions." We both flinched when Chrys suddenly appeared in front of us, even though I'd felt the sudden change in her emotions. "YOU!" I grinned. "Yes?" "How dare you!. I never asked for that!" "I didn't do it. You did. Unintended consequences, Love. Are you really displeased, or was my Solstice Gift adequate--and something you would have never thought to give yourself, as a gift has to be, to be a true gift?" She glared at me, then her eyes went wide. "I'd better go soothe Merlin. He's in a towering rage, for all the wrong reasons! I'll deal with your smugness, later." She vanished. Kay put her hands down and let go of the defensive spell she'd started. "What was that all about?" "They found the hidden gift." She spoke tartly. "That much was obvious." I hugged her and chortled. "Chrys had a blind spot, and I took advantage of it. She only saw the results of her decision, that she wanted to see. When she learned the control, it also gave her the one thing every Mage Born has always dreamed of, but never dared to reach for. She can now choose to be human, instead of an animal, which is all the Mage Born have ever been, in spite of what the Mages did when they created them." Kay stiffened. "Oh. My. Conscious control of her instincts. Of course she and Merlin would have fits, because now that she can be human, she can help him learn to choose to be an animal, in the way you can choose." "Exactly." She shifted on my lap, then reached to rub my crotch lightly. "Vel isn't the only one with needs, and the ball will survive without us for awhile." I hugged her and kissed her neck. "Do you have a preference?" She sighed. "Stonehenge, of course, but I know it will be crowded right now, and I desire privacy. This couch will do, once I set the proper spells so our guests will remain unaware of what we do. She stood, made the appropriate gestures while I stripped and carefully set my clothing aside, then she stripped and we settled on the couch with her on my lap, and my penis inside her welcoming womanhood. We nuzzled each other for awhile, then she began to gently move on me while I worked her chest and stomach with my hands. Before we completely lost ourselves in our shared love, I hugged her and whispered the words I'd been saving for her, ever since she'd greeted us. "Happy Winter Solstice, Kay. "My Love." ==== From the Heart - Christmas Eve ---- Tom uses his finger to idly stir his glass of tea into a whirlpool that matches his thoughts. While he studies it moodily, his thoughts wander aimlessly, until he sighs and leans back to look around and study his surroundings. "Lots of ghosts here, tonight." His eyes squint briefly, then he nods knowingly. "Too many Muses, too. Could be good, could be bad. Mahika will know, and take steps if she needs to. Won't mind if they drop by to look over our shoulders, just for old time's sake, and to give them something to do while they wait. "Get's lonely, being a Muse, sometimes. Part of life, but that doesn't make it enjoyable when it happens." He chuckles almost inaudibly. "Know how they feel, when your main reasons for living are snatched away without any warning, and the snatching doesn't kill you at the same time. Takes time to adjust. Nice to have someone to help, even if all they have is a free shoulder." He finishes his tea, then stands and leans back while he stretches out the kinks in his back. Once he's satisfied, he looks around and smiles slightly. "We'll be at the computer most of the evening, and a sizable chunk of tomorrow. Got plenty of ideas and words, more than enough to host a party, if folks have a mind to drop by and share some loneliness. Be the same way New Year's, too, so you if you can't make it this time, you'll be welcome then." Then he turns and salutes the seemingly empty stage before he turns and leaves. ==== It's a little early, but... Tom shrugs. "The title should explain the reason *when* it's posted, doesn't really matter." * * * From the Heart: Christmas Day, 2009 ------ Tom and his companions step though the door and pause to stamp their feet to get rid of the accumulated snow on them, then remove their cloaks. They shake them out and hand them to the hat check girl, who's eyebrows had gone up when she'd seen the snow covering people on a clear day, then she'd smiled and shaken her head when she recognized who they were. After she had taken the outerwear, she smiled. "Spare me one of your 'short' stories, Stas, and go get warm." He leaned forward to offer a peck on the cheek, which she refused by planting her lips on his, instead. After he pulled back, they grinned at each other. Then he sobered. "Don't know if it's a story or not. It happened, I think." She giggled. "Uh huh. I know you folks too well. Things don't 'just happen' when you're involved." "You trying to say we create situations?" "Three Alphas living together? It's in your blood. Inevitable." He grimaced. "Point. Bend an ear towards the stage in a bit. Then you can decide." * * * Tom settled on the stool waiting on the stage, and sighed. "You folks know the routine. Listen if you wish, or not. Consider me part of the ambience, and ignore me, if that's what works for you." He sipped at his glass of tea and looked around before he ducked his head and began... * * * Did it really happen that way? Strange twist of the strings of life, if it did. ---- The young girl was still bending over after taking off her roller skates when the earthquake hit and people started screaming. She froze in terror. "Run!" She didn't question the order, and something urgent in it broke her paralysis. She was still running when she slammed into something yielding. Hands grabbed her to keep her from falling and she heard gentle laughter. "It's over, little Lady." Then the hands gently turned her to face back the way she'd come from. "Look there. See that pile of bricks? Used to be the old water tank folks have been too lazy to tear down. Don't have to worry about it, now." She shuddered. "Is that one of my skates, Mister?" "Yes." "Was it you that told me to run?" "Yes, again." "Thanks for saving my life. Can you come home with me? My folks will want to thank you for your kindness." The hands let go, so she turned to look at the man who had saved her life. She noticed that he had a funny sort of smile. "Sorry, Maggie. I can't do that. I can tell you they're fine, though, and worried about you, so you'd better get home." Then he knelt and hugged her tightly before he let go and looked into her eyes. "Someday, Maggie, you'll do something real important, that will mean a lot to a lot of people, all over the world. You weren't supposed to die yet, so I had to save you, because that's what was supposed to happen." He smiled at her and her heart sorta fluttered. "I know it's either late, or early, but since I won't see you again for quite a few years, Merry Christmas, Maggie." Then he vanished and she stared at where he'd been. "WOW! My very own Guardian Angel!" She sprinted for home so she could tell everyone what had happened. She felt like she could run forever, and her heart was soaring. * * * When he looked up after finishing his tale, his eyes had a haunted look to them. "Maggie wasn't her real name, of course, but the event was as real as I am, I think." He sipped at his drink and sighed. "Wish it were just another tale, you know? Something done to make a point, or just to relax." He shuddered suddenly. "If only..." His head shook wearily. "Sometimes I get tired of things happening in my life. Be nice to just kick back and be... "Ordinary. "I was just a kid the first time my mother told me about how she would have died in that earthquake, if someone hadn't told her to run, just before the wooden tower holding that brick water tank, collapsed. She didn't remember seeing anyone, and she hadn't recognized the voice. All she remembered was that someone had told her to run." He sipped again. "Now you folks know the way my life tends to go, and how I like to wander around in time and space. "Well, I decided I'd go back and see what had really happened. Might say I had a special interest in knowing who'd saved my mother's life." He grimaced. "While I'm usually pleased with the way life has treated me, sometimes a man has to let the bitterness flow for a bit, to get it out of his system." He chuckled. "Relax, this isn't one of those times. "Nope. *They* refused to let me come here until I got it out of my system. "Anyway... This is where I deliver my traditional 'Holiday Message', and wish all of you a Merry Christmas, and many more to come. "Sometimes we know what will happen when we make a decision, sometimes we don't. "But, if you want to help make sure the consequences are good ones, keep one thing in mind. "You have to make your decisions... "From the Heart." --- Merry Christmas, neighbors, and I hope I'm around to wish you many, many, more of them. ==== The Imp A Man and Muse Short ---------- The inside of my left foot cramped and, startled by the sudden pain, I looked down and scanned it. Much to my surprise, there was a difference in my aura, and I could see a small ball of energy. "Whatever you are, you really shouldn't be doing that." There was a long silence. The ball of energy suddenly contracted, then shifted until it was hovering over my foot. "Sorry, buddy, I got a job to do." It started to shift towards my foot and I gestured slightly. "Stop." "Hey! Mortals aren't supposed to be able to do that! Matter of fact, you're not supposed to be able to see me at all... Buddy, I gotta warn you, Central isn't going to like it if they find out you're interfering with me." I shrugged. "What are you? We can talk about Central, later." Then I raised my voice. "Mahika! Wolf! Get in here! We have company!" I heard them hit the dog door, then they scrambled through the door to the den and settled on their haunches before they scanned the room and focused on the space just above my foot. They both sneezed and Mahika's ears perked all the way to the front. She spoke calmly, but I could hear suppressed anger. "An Imp." I nodded. "Thanks." I refocused. "Don't need one. Got a Muse." "New policy. All mortals have to have an Imp in their lives." "Mahika? You missed any meetings?" "No." "Wait a minute. You never said how you were able to detect me." "You made my foot cramp. Then you got something else wrong. We're Avatars. Haven't been mortal for several million years." "Yeah? Records say you're an author and about sixty. Rules say you need an Imp, buddy. Now you got one. Me." "We're time travelers. Do our work in the past. Records knows that, so someone's playing a game, and it isn't me. "Wolf! Retrieve." She lunged and captured the Imp in her jaws, then brought it to me. I took it, then brought it up so I could study it. "You want to rethink your position, and come clean?" "Look, buddy, times have changed. We're stuck with each other." "Want to bet your life on that?" "I can't be killed. Energy can't be destroyed, only transformed." "Your education is lacking. It can be dissipated, too. Want to see if you survive the experience?" "I'm connected to the general field. I can block it from happening." I sighed. "I'm tired of your game. I was busy being an author when you showed up, and I'd like to go back to work." I clenched my hand slightly, and the Imp screamed. "How'd you do that? You disconnected me from the field!" I shrugged, then tossed it back to Wolf and grinned. "Go enjoy your new toy until I'm ready to talk to it again. Be a few hours, at least." Mahika laughed. "Need any help?" "Not yet." "Good. I'm going to check in and find out what's going on, then I'll go help Wolf play with her new toy. I never did like Imps. Oh, they serve a purpose, but they get uppity sometimes, and the rest of us have to sort them out." She vanished, and Wolf headed off to do whatever she was going to do. The Imp stayed between her jaws and cursed us all, impartially. * * * I finished what I'd been working on, fixed myself a snack, then settled on the couch on the back porch to watch Mahika and Wolf, who had changed into their human forms and were playing catch with the Imp, who was still, after almost five hours, weakly cursing them both. Finally, Mahika held on to it and came over to settle next to me. "Assignments just shrugged and told me we could do whatever we wanted. They were wondering where it was, after it didn't show up where it was supposed to." Then she giggled. "This one has a name." "Aren't they nameless?" "Yep. Special case." "We're dealing with a *special* Imp?" "Relax. It's the only one that's special." "Really? I always thought they were identical." "This one's sort of a pet, because something went wrong when it was created." "Just trying to do my job, Lady." "True." "Thanks." My eyebrows went up. "It's learned courtesy?" "Mister? I didn't know there was such a thing as an advanced course for Imps, but Wolf made me take it, anyway." I looked at Wolf. "Advanced course?" She settled on my other side and grinned. "Imp, meet entropy. Entropy, meet Imp." I laughed, then focused on the Imp again. "So, what's your name?" "Inept." I roared my amusement. "It fits." "Yeah, I know. Innate, so nobody can do anything about it. Can you imagine what it's like?" "Yep. So what do we do with you, now that you're here?" "I don't know. Can't stop you, and refuse to try again, now." I sighed. "Is there anybody we really, really hate that much? I can't think of anyone." Mahika studied the Imp and sighed. "I can't think of anyone, either." I looked at Wolf, and realized she was grinning. "Turn it around. Send it to someone you love." Mahika started giggling, and I chuckled before I looked at the Imp again. "Just to make sure you don't get lost, I'll send you." Then I focused [[Chrys?]] [[Hello, Tom.]] [[Got a new toy for you. Something unusual that I think you'll enjoy. Ready?]] [[Sure!]] I looked at the Imp and waved at it. "Shoo!" [[Ooohhhh! It's so cute! What is it?]] [[An Imp. Central named it 'Inept'.]] [[I should have guessed! Thank you!]] [[Enjoy yourself, Chrys. Yak later. I can tell you're going to be playing for awhile.]] I got giggles as my farewell. I refocused on Mahika and Wolf. "I quote: 'It's so cute!' " Both of them giggled, and I went back inside, to start a new story, with the code 'true'. After all, even his own life is story fodder, for an author. ========= Afterword: This one, like so many of the Man and Muse shorts, began with a real life event. The muscles in the arch of my left foot cramped and woke me up this morning. While I was waiting for it to go away, I had the whimsical thought about how nice it would be, if the cramp had been caused by something external, which led to Imps, and their reputation for perversity, which... Stayed with me long enough that it got written down, and this little romp is now part of the Man and Muse canon. ==== There's an elegance to working with long established characters. The easy interplay that takes place. The sex.. Personalities so well known, they can be dumped into ANY odd situation, and you know how they will react. The sex. This one, as usual, was err... Inspired, by a real life situation. Just as Tom is, I was bored, didn't feel like working on anything that was already started, and couldn't think of any good ideas for a new story. When I'm blocked like that, I really do sometimes do what Tom does... --- Hump Start! A Man and Muse Scene --- "Light. Bright. Fight. Sight. Bight. Rope. Soap. Dope. Cope. Saw. Law. Raw. Fuck. Suck..." Wolf finally opened an eye and studied me. "I'm tempted to bite, literally. What are you doing?" I sighed. "I'm bored, and trying to get some sort of new story started." "I don't know about you, but *I'm* inspired, and since I'm not going to be able to go back to sleep with you mumbling, I might as well get up and do something about it." "Oh?" She got up, stretched, then came over to stick her nose in my crotch and clamp her jaw around my penis and balls. [[You want it this way, or do you want to go to bed and get comfortable?]] "Bed. You interested in sitting on my face while you finish what you started?" She came off, turned to face the door, then flagged me before she ambled out the door and down the hallway. I was still in the hallway when I heard Wolf sneeze emphatically, then there was feminine laughter. Mahika came out of the bedroom to hug me, then looked at my glistening crotch before she briefly touched my erection. "Good. You'd better get in there and get busy. Smells like you might as well forget about writing, for at least two weeks." "Smells? Two weeks?... Oh. No wonder I was distracted and couldn't write. What about you?" "About six months, yet." "Good!" --- end scene, for now... ==== When all else fails, turn the writing problem over to Tom, Mahika... and Wolf. --- Spring Equinox 2011: Balanced Wheel A Man and Muse Story --- I was sprawled on the rug in front of our fireplace and intently studying the toy gyroscope I'd discovered in the shed. "There *has* to be a way to make this thing work..." Wolf looked up from idly grooming her fur and spoke casually. "Looks complete to me. Set it down. Put a finger on the top to steady it, then pull the string, briskly, and let go. It should do the rest for you. That's how you made it work when you were a child." "What? Oh. You cheated and checked, didn't you?" "Of course." "Thanks, but that's not what I meant when I said 'make it work'." She thought about my distracted comment, and my intent focus, then sighed before she raised her muzzle and howled an ear piercing call before she lowered her head and gunsighted the doorway. Mahika showed up, leaned on the door jamb, and spoke mildly. "I was only in the kitchen. There was no need to be *that* loud." Wolf sneezed her disgust. " *He* is in one of his moods, again. I knew that you'd be near your orgasmic peak, because of his focus, so I wanted to make sure I was able to get your attention." Mahika's eyebrows went up then back down, but she managed to keep silent, and wait. Wolf finally twitched an ear in my direction. "I need a wolfess on his other side, and she needs to settle so her position is a mirror image of mine." Our eyebrows shot up, we looked at each other, and I shrugged. "I don't have a clue, other than she's in a mood, and I do know better than to ask silly questions." Mahika twitched her lips into a brief smile, nodded, then shifted and settled on my other side. Wolf waited, then looked at me and sneezed again. "Ok. Tom, pull the damn string." I did, she watched the gyroscope until it ran down and fell over, then she glared at me. "You have balance, got to be a kid again, and got play with your gyroscope. Tell the world about what happened, and you have your story." She curled, and just before she stuck her nose under her tail, she spoke mildly, without looking at us. "I'm going back to my nap." --- End: 'Balanced Wheel.' ==== Happy Anniversary, Mahika! --- May 10, 2011, is a special anniversary for me. On that day, ten years ago, I introduced my Muse, Mahika, to the world. Then my life got interesting. Her origin was a bit of whimsey. I wasn't the first to mention a Muse, and make them 'real', and I know I won't be the last. Originally, the 'Man and Muse' scenes were just that. They were a means for me to relax, and make topical posts about current events, that were intended to be more personally intimate than a dry commentary about how I felt about something. Those posts were, and still are, a form of practice that helps me refine my skills as a writer. As of this date, the 'Man and Muse' canon consists of 61 posts, (including this one), totaling about 64,000 words, and the vast majority of those are under1,500 words in length, as befits their purpose, of being personalized commentary about things that have caught my interest enough to make me decide to say something. Then, for the Summer Solstice in 2007, I decided to use the characters in a more formal story that was linked to the Solstice. It... Got away from me, and became the two chapter story called 'Lay Lines', which brought in some new characters and became, so far, a six chapter spin off. 'Lay Lines' was the beginning of an ongoing series that is linked to the Solstices and Equinoxes. It also introduced a new regular, Wolf. Somewhen in there, I linked 'The Tails of Rabelaisia', with 'The Luck Bringers'. For several reasons, it made sense to link 'The Luck Bringers' to 'Man and Muse'. That link was solidified when I revealed in 'Wandering Wolves: Stonehenge', that Tom, Mahika, and Wolf, were Lady Kay's first tutors in the ways of power. 'Lay Lines' currently contains six works that total about 70,000 words. Then, in late 2010, I decided to write a Winter Solstice story that would more fully develop the kids I introduced in 'Lay Lines'. The result of that inspiration, is 'Marie's Solstice'. That story has turned into a romp that has seen 111,000 words posted in five parts, with three parts still in the hopper that contain an additional 40,000 words, so far. For not being a 'Traditional Muse', in a 'Traditional Relationship', Mahika has certainly done her job well. "Happy tenth anniversay, My Love." --- Thomas (The Black Dog) Galahalt, May 9, 2011 ==== Inspired by Uther's post in ASSD 2010-02-11: He commented about me not needing more ideas, and getting Mahika angry at him... Which led to the following question... "Is there a stress management program for overworked Muses?" --- Enough... Is Enough! --- "No. No! Nonono... Oh gods... Please stop..." My eyebrows shot up and I took time out from my typing to study Mahika's slumbering form. 'A nightmare?' That didn't make much sense. Too much sex? I dismissed that one as absurd. I watched her body warily, and after she seemed to relax, I turned my attention back to the novel I'd been working on. I hit the first key, and screamed in surprise when Mahika's lunge took me sideways, out of my chair and to the floor. When I recovered from my shock, I realized I was gunsighted. "Mind telling me what that was for?" "I had to stop you. I couldn't deal with it, any more." Now, I was definitely confused. "Stop me from WHAT?" "Writing. Being creative." "Mahika. You're my Muse. You've been hooked on my creativity, and specifically my writing, for decades. You've even been after me for not doing it enough." Her lips curled in disgust. "I never dreamed I'd say this: 'You're writing too much, and when you aren't writing, you're thinking about writing, too much.' If you love me, quit. Immediately." "QUIT?!" "Not permanently. I need to assimilate things and recover from the overdose. After that, we need to discuss modifying the way you work, and how much you plan on producing." "Umm..." That got me a snarl. "Don't." "Ok." I raised my voice. "Wolf! The Den!" "If I leave now, breakfast will burn!" "Emergency! Time slice!" She appeared in the doorway, in her human form. She studied us for a few seconds, then spoke carefully. "Whatever it is, I know better than try and pull Mahika off of you." I sighed. "It's not as bad as it looks. All you have to do is close everything and turn off the computer. And..." I sighed. "Be a good bitch and hide it from me until Mahika says it's ok for you to bring it back. While you're at it, take the laptop, and my PDA. Umm... Hang on before you do all that." I studied Mahika. "What about my cell phone?" Mahika rumbled from deep in her chest, then sighed. "No texting about writing!" "Right. Ok, you heard her. You can leave the phone here." Wolf studied us a bit longer, then shut the computer down, gathered things, and vanished briefly. When she reappeared she was grinning. "Consider them hidden." I looked at her warily. "Consider?" "I gave it all to the twins, and asked them to hide it all, since you don't have any links to *them*. Then I mentioned that they would be wise to only dig them up if Mahika was doing the asking." Mahika sneezed her amusement. "Good!" She backed away and went human. "Let's go have breakfast." She turned and brushed past Wolf, who stepped aside when it was obvious Mahika was quite willing to go through her. After Mahika was out of sight, she turned back to me and spoke mildly. "That was a unique experience. Be nice to know what I just did." "Helped me make sure I don't do any writing for awhile." "What?! An enforced vacation?" "Well... It's really Mahika's, and she doesn't want it disturbed." "Talk sense." "Sorry. I was writing, and thinking about writing, too much. She overloaded." "Excuse me?? She's your Muse!" I sighed. "Apparently, not enough of one to be able to handle such a sustained effort by whoever she's linked with." "She's getting agitated. I think you'd better leave the den. I'll finish shutting it down, then, since this is an emergency, I'll have one of the twins seal it so you can't sneak back." I got up and hugged her. "Thanks." I settled across from Mahika and let Wolf serve me. Once Wolf settled with her own food, she ate some of it and studied the two of us before she spoke thoughtfully. "Tom? You'd better stay out of this for now. If you can, don't try to find any solutions, just listen to us discuss the problem." "Should I leave?" "No." "Ok." "Mahika? Is it all creativity that causes the problem, or just the creativity related to writing?" Mahika frowned. "Give me some time to think about that. My nerves are pretty raw, still." "No problem. Before we try to do something like mute your link, is there a chance it could be cut completely? I'm also wondering if there are any lesser links acting to maintain a background noise level. If there are, could we block those, and maybe get you further away from your threshold?" Mahika suddenly shifted to her lupine form, snarled with the kind of rage that meant death to her target, and vanished. I shoved my chair backwards, lunged for Wolf, and as soon as I made contact, time and place shifted us to our campground. We tumbled briefly, separated, took the time to recover, and Wolf sighed. "What was that all about?" "It hasn't been me, it's been Chrys, and Mahika just realized it. We've been getting positive feedback from each other, and never realized it. Mahika lost it, reverted, and sees only one solution." Wolf shivered. "Death. That's impossible." "True. If she were able to think, she'd remember that." "You have a plan?" "A hope, more than a plan. I want you to go find us a present day location with very little power, or none, then grab Kay and Merlin and take them to it so they can drain it completely, and keep it drained." "You think you can shift Mahika to it?" "Doesn't matter. If Chrys shifts, Mahika will follow, right? Since Chrys will be busy diverting all that power, I'll warn her just before Mahika shows up, then go back to being linear so I can shift her to wherever you folks happen to be." "Won't work. Mahika will be expecting a trap of some sort and she'd come in from a distance. Someone will have to make physical contact and shift her while she's focused on Chrys." "Damn. Have to be the twins. Becky to shield, Cathy to do the dirty work. Warn... Hang on. We're getting company." Chrys appeared. "Mind telling me what set Mahika off? She's pure wolf right now, and wants me dead." I sighed. "You standing her off? Guess I didn't get there in time to warn you." "You did, but before you could tell me more than to be ready to defend myself, Mahika showed up. Everyone else is busy shielding the castle and surrounding area." "Damn. Well, no help for it, since we know I missed my timing. Do you think Becky and Cathy are good enough to make contact and shift the three of them to a place of no power?" Chrys' ears went vertical. "So *that's* how Stefan and Sabrina did it!" "You lost me. Did what?" "Stopped a renegade Bard." She vanished. We looked at each other and I shrugged. "Go find a good spot. I know what she's thinking, and it's a pretty elegant solution, except..." Wolf managed a grin. "Mahika isn't a Bard." "I'll wait here." She vanished. Everything hit me at once. Chrys' shock, Wolf's 'Ready!, and Kay's 'Come get her before we lose control!' I went linear, transformed to my wolf body, place shifted, spotted Mahika, lunged and got her throat in a solid grip, then followed Wolf's link when I place shifted us both, before Mahika could block me. I felt the loss of power, but managed to keep my grip while she fought me, until I gave her my best deep chested warning rumble. She went limp and collapsed. I held on. >>You back yet?<< >>Where are we? I can't feel any power.<< >>No clue. I'm too focused on keeping you from doing anything more stupid than what you just tried to do.<< >>I'm not ok, but I won't fight anyone.<< I loosened my grip slightly, and when she stayed limp I backed away and gunsighted her. She rolled to her feet and shook herself, then settled on her haunches. "It wasn't you, it was Chrys." "We figured that out, after you attacked her. Took all of us to stop you." "I'm... Sorry." "You'd better be." I sneezed my disgust with her. "Tell me, since the link with Chrys hasn't been a 'formal' one, can it be blocked, or something?" "I don't know." "We have a problem, then, because normally, we'd die, and that would solve things. Unfortunately, we're all immortals." "True. I'm under control, now." "Good. I'll be right back. There's something I have to do." I walked far enough I could access power again, then went non linear and warned Chrys. Once I was done with that, I went back so I could finish dealing with Mahika. Once I was in front of her I settled on my hainches and stared at her. "Back. I *think* all the loose ends are taken care of, time wise." She took the time to look at where we were. "Elegant solution. Who had the idea?" It was my turn to look around. "Wolf. I told her to find a place and have Kay and Merlin drain it of power." "I suppose that if I tried to leave, you'd get physical, again?" "Definitely." "Don't blame you. That insanity has never happened to me, before." I sneezed my disgust. "I would have said it was impossible. Maybe that's the reason it hit so hard." "Maybe. I think it was because the two of you aren't living in the same time zone. One of you stops, the other is still going, and both of you have a tendency to take your work to bed, and use your dreams." "Whatever. I notice you've ignored the fact she and I are permanently linked, no matter when or where we are." "We have a small favor. I don't get anything from her, through that link, as far as I can tell. Right now, I'm not willing to do any checking." "Understandable..." She spoke coldly enough I could hear the frozen helium that was driving her attitude. "What are you thinking, Thomas?" I winced. When I hear my name, in that tone of voice, I know I'm at the bottom of the cesspit, and she is getting ready to stomp on my head to keep it there. "I have... A couple of possibilities I think we should look at." "Oh?" "Glad you don't have access to anything except your personal power. Anyway, Chrys has a 'pet'. What do you think of asking it to enhance your link to Chrys?" "Enhance?! Are you INSANE?!" "No. Desperate. What's the one thing we know for certain about that Imp?" "It's... Inept.. Doesn't mean it's inept, all the time. Let's save that while I think about your other idea." "Contact Central, and have them assign a full time Muse to Chrys. Maybe, by doing that, whoever it is, will divert enough of it, that what's left won't keep you on the verge of overload." She looked around and studied the people who surrounded us. "Now, I know how the stag feels, when he's confronted by the pack." "Well?" She sighed before she gunsighted Wolf. "My Alpha! I need a new context!" "I heard. May I touch link, to find out where I'm going, and how I should behave?" "You may." Wolf joined us, then reached and placed a hand on Mahika's forehead. After a few minutes she removed it and sighed. "This could take awhile." She walked away, and once she was past the cordon, she vanished. * * * Several hours later, she returned, and held out her hand to Chrys. "I need your toy." Chrys perked her ears, then nodded and handed Wolf the ball of energy that was the Imp, Inept. Wolf studied it, then smiled and shook her head. "Hello again, Inept." "Yeah. Hi, Wolf." "Relax. I have a message for you, from Central." "Oh? Can't be good news, if you're involved." "It's definitely mixed. First of all, they are a little bemused, but will take what they can get. No matter. They send a sincere 'well done'." "Well done? For WHAT?!" "Well... For being an Imp, of course." "I don't get it." "Chrys has become a friend, right?" "Yeah. I guess she has. At least she lets me be me, instead of... Being mean, and mocking me because I'm not a real Imp." "We'll talk about that in a bit. So, friends help friends, and you've done your best, to help Chrys out?" "Yeah. Been real careful about that. She's able to do things that aren't in any book I know about." "Right. She uses a different book than we do." "Yeah. I know." "Imagine you would, by now. Anyway... Your 'Imp Field' is on all the time. Not blaming you, it's just part of being you, ok?" "Thanks." "Welcome. I'll get back to you." "Ok." Wolf glanced at Chrys, shook her head again, then turned to Mahika. "Took us awhile to track down the problem, and figure out a way to fix it." Mahika sneezed her disgust. "It can be fixed, right?" "Yes. Chrys will get her own Muse, finally. She and the other Bards fell through the cracks in the system, because nobody took the time to figure out how to handle aliens. She calls on a different wavelength, so nobody had a reason to look at her and the others as more than 'interesting aliens'." "That's not telling me the original problem." "Well... She doesn't know it yet, so she can be excused for not realizing her... Creativity has been put into overdrive." "Quit ducking." "The Imp's field, over time, did what Inept couldn't do consciously. It created a hole in her anti-fertility spell, then made it so Merlin's human sperm could successfully fertilize one of her eggs. She's pregnant. Once she has her child, her creativity shouldn't keep you on the edge. Just to be sure this doesn't happen again..." She lifted her hand and studied what she held. "Inept? You're an ugly duckling, and it's time for you to become the swan you should be." "Swan?" "Of course. You were always supposed to become Lady Chrystal's friend and companion, because you're really a Muse, and the special one she will need, until the end of all." "I'm... Not an Imp? I'm really a Muse, in an Imp's body?!" "Yes." "Umm... Would you hand me back to Chrys? I don't want to make any mistakes about this." Wolf held it out and offered it to Chrys, who took it and studied it. "A Muse of my own. Did you know we don't have them, on Rabelaisia?" "Really?! Who inspires you?" "Our friends. The world itself. Life, and living it. All of it." "So... It's like you live inside a giant creativity field?" "I suppose it is." "Hey... Sorry. I wasn't trying to do anything to you, or for you." "I know, so there's nothing to apologize for, since you were only being yourself, right?" "I guess. So you're not mad at me, for making it so you got pregnant?" "I'd like to thank you for it. I've always wanted a child fathered by Merlin. May I thank you for your incredible gift, by giving you a new name, to go with your new job?" "You going to help me learn how to be a Muse, and be as tolerant of my mistakes as you have been?" "Of course. This isn't a good time to be asking Mahika for advice. Besides, I'm not typical, so we're going to have to work together, to make this work. Mostly, I'm going to have to keep you around, so you can keep my creativity from leaking over and bothering her." "How will I do that?" "I don't know. While Tom is on vacation, I'll spend some time being more creative, so you can scan and figure out what changes. After that... Well, a Muse uses that to feel good. You can make suggestions, too. Once we have things figured out, Tom can ease back into his writing. By then, Mahika should be able to tell if what you're doing is working." "Ok. You mentioned a new name?" "I did. What do you think of being called 'Destiny'?" "Wow! What a hit! No wonder Muses get upset when they haven't been working in a long time!" "Glad you like it. You ready to go home and start working?" "Yeah! Let's do it!" They vanished, and eventually Mahika sneezed. "Was that the Zeitgeist *using* me?" I sighed. "Probably. Took him long enough to get around to you." "I hope it's longer before he does it again. Mind taking a walk, far enough so we can go human, before we come back and get comfortable in this no power zone?" "Don't mind a bit. You get upset if I wait a few days, before I officially consider the crisis over?" "No. Now that it's started, we might as well make it a long vacation." "Nothing pressing. Want to make it a sabbatical? Been quite awhile." She sneezed, then faced me and gently licked my muzzle. "Thanks. Let's take that walk, then we can come back and find other ways you can express your creativity." --- End: 'Enough... Is Enough' ==== One thing is certain, about Thomas' and Lady Chrystal's love life: It's *never* normal! --- Chrystal! --- "Rrrr!..." Chrys had her lips peeled back as the rumbling growl escaped from deep inside her chest. Her eyes were closed, her head was tipped back until her neck and chin were almost a straight line and the growl was continuous. She'd started it seconds after my lips touched her vulva and my hands had started working her nipples, and it hadn't stopped unless she'd been panting as an orgasm smashed its way though her body. When her breathing started to slow, I deliberately stroked her clit with my tongue and she tried to curl into a ball. "Ahhhhh! Godohgodogoh... Don't stop!" The fingers of one hand entered her, then I worked them back and forth until my whole hand was wet enough for what I had planned. Chrys must have sensed I was ready, because she curled and presented herself better. "Now! Oh god... Now!" I shoved, hard, until my hand was completely inside her, then I curled my fingers into a fist, and waited. A few seconds later her entire vagina spasmed and she began a high pitched keen. Her walls unclenched, then started spasming strongly. She eventually stopped her keen, and started gasping for breath. That kept up until her vagina stopped trying to crush my fist. I waited some more, and finally she relaxed, then let her breath out in a long exhalation. "Don't move, Thomas." "What about moving enough to lick you?" "No! I've had enough, this time." I chortled and she matched it with a tired giggle. "Don't you dare try to remove your fist while you get in position." "And what would that position be, oh passionate Bard?" "I need something to drink, to replace what I've lost recently. 'Milk of Man', will have to do, since I'm too limp to get out of bed, even if I wanted to." "Insatiable Vixen. 'Milk of Man', coming your way." I carefully repositioned myself so she could reach my penis with her muzzle, and once she had a good grip on my hips, I relaxed and let her take control of that part of my body, while I focused on using my fist to simulate the random movements of a tie. Her tongue and teeth were expertly used, and within a few minutes I drove my hips at her and spasmed when my pubic bone his her nose. Incredibly, she choked slightly, then I felt her use her fingers and mouth to massage me empty. Just to make sure she had it all, she suddenly jammed a finger in my ass and used a claw to massage my prostate, which sent me into another orgasm, and la la land. When I came back, I dipped my head and kissed her clit lightly. She gasped, then shuddered and relaxed. "Gently, Tom. I want to stay awake, not pass out." "Coming out..." She moaned. "Easy! Stop! Now slow..." When my hand appeared she gasped. "Ahh! Finish it!" I got my hand out of the way, then covered her with my mouth, and simply sucked and swallowed, while she ran her hands over my body. Eventually she stopped, and licked my penis a few more times. "Thanks... Get up here and snuggle." I turned around again, then stretched out on my back. She wrapped me in a hug, then slowly petted me while we both recovered. Eventually she turned my head enough she could lick my face, and I laughed. "What am I now? You personal salt lick?" "Yes. I've always enjoyed the way you taste." "Sounds like you have a fetish for human males." "Two of them, Old Dog. Just like you have a thing for tall vixens." "Got me." "And I'm going to keep you for awhile." "Nothing new about that." "No, but the way I'm going to keep you here, is." She slid me down her body, then I felt something probe my ass. "You wouldn't!" She giggled. "Oh, but I shall!" I felt the unmistakable sensations of a canid penis slithering into me, and it kept going a lot longer than I was used to. Eventually I felt it stop, and it expanded in a few seconds, until I knew that the knot wasn't going to come out the normal way. If I wanted to get away, I was going to have to place shift, or simply wait for the swelling to go down. "Sneaky, Chrys. Been taking lessons from the twins?" "Yes. Hope you're not in any hurry to go away, because I've added a small refinement." "I'm where I want to be. What's the refinement? Just to make my guess official, is all." "The swelling doesn't go down until I let it." "My kind of herm. Since you're not doing anything else, you might as well make me pass out." She laughed, and started working me expertly. "One orgasmic nap, coming up." --- End: 'Chrystal!' ==== Author's note: This one got set aside before it was finished. I've tried to remember the rest of the stuff I wanted to put in the original, and recapture how I felt when I started it, two months after I had my 'mild' heart attack. My frustration and depression was real, in spite of the support I had from my friends, such as Esu, and others. I wish I'd been able to feel a hint of what has happened since. It would have helped, a lot. --- Along with other quirks I've developed over the years, is one I try to give free reign to this time of year. I try to do a 'look back and thank you' appreciation post around Christmas time. Generally, I've posted it to ASSD. This year, however, I'll do it here, as a small gift to the folks who have helped make Writer's Block what it is. That's ALL of you, members and non-members, participants and lurkers. Thank you, for sharing. I've been lax about saying how much I appreciate what each of you has done but, as Yotna and Esu know, I *have* appreciated it all. Now, I hope you folks know it, too. I still have plans for things I want to contribute, and, I hope, somewhere in amongst all the other projects, to get started on a major, long term project for WB. Stay tuned, but don't stop breathing while you wait. <g> --- 2007 - A Year of Memories A Man and Muse Story -------- "You remembered." I glanced down, and to my left. "Yah. Too much time to think, this year." The white wolfess sneezed her amusement. "You're here *to* think. Be glad of it." I laughed, and bent down to kiss her nose. "Oh, I am glad. That was a hell of a wake up call, you know." "Indeed, love." Her nose met me halfway and we shared so much with such a simple gesture between us. Eventually we separated and I studied one of the people who has, over the years, become such a normal part of my life that I no longer worried about them ever 'not being there'. "Mahika." She gazed at me, then nodded slowly. "La Taverna?" I smiled, then tilted my head slightly, deliberately playing with one of her favorite gestures. "Of course. Let's walk. I want to savor the experience." She shimmered slightly and I faced her human form. We took our time, but eventually we stood in front of a familiar door. I pulled it open and waved her in. "After you, Love." She nodded slightly, and once we were inside, we handed our coats to the coat check girl, exchanged pleasantries with her, then entered the main room. After we stopped at the bar for our drinks, and to order our meals, she used her head to gesture at the stage. I thought about it, then shook mine. "A booth." We settled, and while we waited for our food, I leaned against the wall and started thinking out loud. "What a year this has been. So incredibly up, then to end it so far down I was wondering what the point of going on, is." I sipped, and smiled when she waited me out. "To meet, and spend some time with a couple of the people I met on the net, was... More than I ever dreamed it could be, I guess. Then, to see Stonehenge in person, and dowse it..." I was watching her face, so I noticed she managed to mostly control her grin. "Yes, Love. Stonehenge is so small, yet it has had such a profound impact on so many lives, including ours. The stones take up such a small area, they amazed me. All the pictures made me feel it was much larger. I sipped again and relived the experience. "Incredible, to have touched power like that. It's a memory I will always treasure, but the one I treasure most, is the friendship." I looked into my glass and spoke softly. "Acceptance. I hope I never forget that. I suppose, if I need a reason to keep going, that one is good enough. It's a reason to keep looking outward, instead of inward." "Then, there were the plans for a return. Were they a dream? Seems so, now." I looked at the room, and the other patrons, but all I could see was... What happened on that early October morning. I managed to shake the memories off, and smile slightly. "I shouldn't forget the personal impact Stonehenge had on our lives. I never dreamed that someday, I would break past the barrier that has kept me from writing novellas and novels. I wonder where that will lead, assuming I live long enough for the full impact to hit." Our food arrived, and we ate in companionable silence until the edge was off my hunger. "The heart attack. That was... It's devastated me, and changed everything important in my life. I'm far weaker than I'm used to, and I have no endurance, to do the things I'm used to doing." I held my hands out and studied them. "So much has changed. I can't get any answers, but I expect I only have five to ten more years left, at best. What should I do with those years?" I sighed. "I don't know. Will I get any better than this? Do I want to keep going? Should I retire? Change directions?" I shook my head, then glared at nothing in particular. "And... The final insult. The economy collapsed, and what I thought would be my fallback option, was taken away from me. Oh, it will still give me a couple years, maybe, but I'd planned for longer. "Still more dreams, that were taken away." I looked at my companion, and sighed. "Now, Mahika, I know what it feels like, to be ready to die. I'm not going to seek death, but I won't fight him off, when he comes for me." She finally nodded, and we didn't speak of the fact her head stayed bent, in an attempt to hide her tears. I dug my wallet out, left the money for our meals, plus a tip, then reached across the table and lightly touched her face before I lifted her head. Once we made eye contact I smiled sadly and spoke quietly. "I'm sorry, Love. I can't bring myself to give you my usual cheery Winter Solstice and Christmas thoughts. If I'm still around, I'll try to do better next year." She touched my hand and nodded without saying anything. We silently communed for a few minutes, then I sighed. "I'm too tired, still. You'll have to take us home." She nodded slightly. "Now?" "Now." --- End: '2007: A Year of Memories' ==== Philosophy on Wry Another Man and Muse Story --- Tom and Mahika step through the doors of La Taverna and pause. There's activity, but the atmosphere is muted even though some patrons are obviously having intense conversations.. Or, he notes to himself, the ones who are having conversations are very involved in them. Mostly, though, there is silence, the silence of people with their minds elsewhere, or the silence of intense focus. He shrugs out of his jacket, hangs it up, then turns to Mahika and holds out a hand. Her eyebrows quirk upwards briefly, then he chuckles and takes her coat as she offers it. He offers his arm and she hooks hers into his with a gentle smile. He glances around again and then steps towards the bar. "Just another night, it looks like." She only smiles and nods. She recognized his mood the instant he hesitated after stepping inside. Patiently, she waits for the results. She settles on a stool while he moves behind the bar. The waitress currently running the bar hugs him briefly, then moves to take care of the other customers. She, too, has seen Tom in one of his 'moods'. Fully into the role now, he reaches for a bar towel and starts polishing a glass as he stands in front of Mahika. His smile is professional, slightly distant, but not concealing his genuine interest in people in general. "What'll it be tonight?" She shifts a leg slightly, exposing a knee to point it at him. "Philosophy, served with wry." His smile never wavers as he glances at the knee, then refocuses on her face.. "You got it. Anything liquid?" "Tears of joy, with a laughter chaser." "No problem." He studies her thoughtfully. "Might take a bit of time to prepare. Do you mind a short wait?" She turns away slightly to look around the room, then glances back over her shoulder to dazzle him, and the nearby patrons, with a gentle smile that's filled with love. "In here? I don't mind." "K." HIs lips barely shift, acknowledging the hit, then, straight faced, he goes on: "While you wait, have some fresh cranberry juice. It's a bit tart, but refreshing--and it will do healthy things for the inner person." Gravely, she nods. "Thanks. I'll have some." He pours, and watches closely as she sips and smiles appreciatively. She nods slightly. He nods back, then reaches for another glass to polish. * * * After waiting on a few customers and polishing a few more glasses, he stops opposite Mahika and lightly touches her shoulder to get her attention. "I think your order is ready." She gazes at something across the room for a few more seconds, then turns back to face him fully. "Well done?" He chuckles briefly. "More likely half-baked." Her lips quirk, then she manages to get them under control. "Can't hurt to try it. Your version can't be much worse than some others I've had." He nods at her hit and begins: * * * "Remember the old children's show 'Romper Room'?" She nods. "Well, I guess it's as good a start as anywhere else. Used to have the 'Do Bees' and 'Don't Bees'. Now, after all these years, I'll admit to being pretty vague about the details, but they aren't important. "The whole idea now is they make a good place to take off from. "The word 'do' is such a simple word we tend to overlook that it really doesn't mean much until it has a modifier. Then, we really can begin to appreciate how important it is in our lives. "Can do. Should do. Will do. Shall do. Do not do. Will not do. Shall not do. Can not do... All are simple phrases, very clear in intent. "Yet, in addition to being simple, when a person applies them to their life, they suddenly define who we are. When we add a concept, or action to each phrase, and apply the result to ourself and the way we live, we have defined our personal ethos, the framework we use to define who we are and what we will do in any given situation. "Are you with me so far?" He leaned back, stretching out some kinks in his back. Mahika nodded slowly. "So far." "Let's see if I can keep you with me for the entire ride." She noded slightly, so he continued. "Can do. A simple statement, that says a person is confident, and has the skills needed to perform a task. One thing we can say about it, is that whatever the task is, if they can do it, even though it might challenge them, it probably isn't going to stretch them past their limits. Only real danger, is deciding if it will lead to casual competence, or complacency. Not important, this time." She tilted her head slightly, then she nodded before she sipped her drink after she shifted enough her knee was pointed at him again. "Should do?" "Should do, is a statement of intent. I suppose, to many, it's a weaselly way of saying 'need to do'. It is also... The weakest expression of intent, of the phrases I've mentioned." She smiled slightly. "Because it doesn't express a true commitment to the task?" He flipped his bar towel open and reached for one of the empty glasses. After he started polishing it, he nodded. "What I should do, is pay respect to that slowly swinging lower leg, and take you home, or somewhere else. Instead, what I will do, is stay here, and see if I can keep up the slow foreplay, to keep you edgy for later." She raised her glass and offered a salute, before she sipped again. "Go on." "Will do. A clear, unambiguous statement of intent, than has nothing to do with already learned skills. Something needs doing, and it is going to get done, somehow. It's similar to 'can do', but a lot more definite about completing the task. This one allows for stretching beyond one's limits, and encouraging self discovery that leads to new limits that might someday be pushed further outward. Succeed often enough, and to some people, 'casual competence' will appear to be arrogance. Even failure teaches, and if failure is kept in perspective, growth is possible, because you've learned something new." Set set her empty glass on the bar, and tipped her head at it. He smiled slightly, again, and then picked up her glass. "Shall do, is a clear statement of intent. 'I shall fill this.' Succinct, and a clear prediction of a future action." He smiled. "Same, again?" "Please." He refilled the glass, then set it on the bar and studied it. "Do not do. That is generally assumed to be advice of some sort. It could be given to oneself, or it could be spoken to someone else. Implicit in the statement, is the assumption that unless the tone says otherwise, the advice is intended to be helpful. Implied, usually, is a warning of some sort, that may, or may not, be based on personal experience." She studied him, then gestured at her knee. "One thing I do not do, is point my best knee at a man, unless I feel he deserves it. So, wouldn't that make one aspect of a properly used 'do not do', a promise?" He tilted his head while he thought about it, then grinned. "Promise, or a threat." She glared briefly, then decided she should laugh. "We will not discuss the nuances, here." "Excellent! A clear statement of immediacy, with the possibility of something being done in the future." "I shall not do more, unless your knee, and the now swinging leg that is attached to it, stops swinging." She drained her glass, set it on the bar, then stood up. "The leg has stopped swinging. You can not do any better than you have, so it is time to escort me to someplace private, so we may... Explore the nuances of your creativity, as they apply to the proper expression of your relationship with your Muse." He put the glass he'd been polishing where it belonged, then he put the towel away. After a quick hug of the waitress, he stepped from behind the bar and hooked his arm. "Perhaps my Muse would like to swing both her legs while we go get our coats?" "Your Muse would enjoy that very much, as long as what follows... Stops your jaw from swinging!" --- End: 'Philosophy on Wry' ==== End: Man and Muse: The Second Five Years -- Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated. +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ | alt.sex.stories.moderated ------ send stories to: <ckought69@hotmail.com>| | FAQ: <http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/faq.html> Moderators: <story-ckought69@hotmail.com> | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ |ASSM Archive at <http://assm.asstr-mirror.org> Hosted by <http://www.asstr-mirror.org> | |Discuss this story and others in alt.sex.stories.d; look for subject {ASSD}| +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+