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Message-ID: <61843asstr$1327857001@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
From: Faye Kane <kneecheesezarathustra@gmail.com>
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Subject: {ASSM} What I let the man and woman do to me so I can live here free (true, with pix)
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Date: Sun, 29 Jan 2012 12:10:01 -0500
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I'm faye kane.  I'm 37 and a RL idiot savant.  Until recently, I lived
naked in a tent in the woods because everybody in the world is either
evil or stupid.

Mainly stupid.

But that doesn't matter.

I also write fiction, but this isn't it.  The  regulars at my blog
who've known me for years will tell you I actually do stuff like this.
Three years ago, I even announced what hotel bar I'd be in the next
day and that anyone could rent a room or march me into the woods, and
he and his friends could do anything they want to me.

And I showed up.

Anyway, they widened the DC beltway and plowed my woods under along
with my little techno-tent. Sans cave, I moved in with a married
couple.  I knew the girl in college and she feels sorry for me.

Her husband doesn't.  He fucks me in my ass (and only there) 2 or 3
times a week, though less often recently.

He just walks into my bedroom without saying anything, pulls down my
pants if I'm not already naked, roughly throws me onto my back, pushes
my legs up and apart, squeezes at least a half-tube of KY in the
little hole, and then fucks it while I lie on my back with my knees
bent and my legs raised slightly off the bed. Sometimes he hurts me.
Sometimes his wife ("K") watches. One time, she participated.

It probably looks like ordinary missionary position to her, but he's
*definitely* in my ass.  He used to enema me while I kneeled on the
bathroom floor with my bare rear end in the air so high that the hole
pointed straight up. But he did it obsessively and intensely, like a
ritual; and I think either the excitement wore off or he just  got
tired of doing it.

On the bathroom floor, I liked to pretend that the cold tile is
concrete and he keeps me as a sex slave in his basement.  I'm attached
to the floor drain by a thin steel cable in my cunt that I woke up and
found there and still don't know what it's connected to inside me.
Then I imagine that he starves me so he won't have to enema me, and
feeds me nothing but cups of vegetable oil, both to keep me alive and
so he doesn't have to bother lubing my ass.

Anyway, that's the kind of thing I think about while he fucks it.  He
pushes his dick DEEP, thrusting savagely like he's trying to kill me
by stabbing me in the diaphragm with the head of his dick.  That's
when I like to close my eyes and pretend he's an insane rapist who
climbed in the window and is fucking me with a long kitchen knife to
kill me after my rape.  That always makes me cum (if he lets me rub my
nub while he uses me.  Usually he slaps my hand away and tells me I
can't, "to deny you any pleasure").  That makes me even more horny.

Eventually I feel his sperm gently spurting behind my bellybutton.
When he withdraws from my body, he just walks out, neither of us ever
having said anything.  I told him that another guy did it once, so now
he slaps my face HARD as he leaves, to remind me that it wasn't
love.

But it was exactly the love an autistic girl needs!

His cum is precious inside me, and I cherish it and love it just like
it was growing in me.  I masturbate and remember him depositing it in
my guts while strangling me. I get sad when I eventually have to expel
it.

I always wish I could rescue each tiny teaspoon of his cum when it
leaves my body and mount each of them in its own little frame, and
hang them all on my bedroom wall (I have my own room).  I would
DEFINITELY look at them all and admire how very many there are while I
rub to orgasm and remember how they got inside me.  Afterwords, I'd
dreamily appreciate how wonderful it is to have a man who desires me
so much that he must do THAT to me.

BTW, here's a pic of me in my cave: tinyurl dot com slash kanescave

No, it's not a porn site.  It's not even a web page.  It's just a cam
phone pic of a naked sexy girl laying on a filthy blanket in a
disgusting little tent with my PC, A/C, MREs, and festive, colored
christmas lights.

Yes, I AM crazy.  I was even committed to the maryland sate mental
hospital.

But I'm real.

Anyway, one night, D and K invited me to sleep between them in their
bed.  I took off all my clothes and stood in their bedroom, but they
still had all theirs on and they looked at me while I stood there.
CMNF.  It was SOOO embarrassing and  sexy!   Then they tied my hands
and feet to the headboard while I shook with excitement because I knew
what they were about to do to me.

After filling it up with KY, D used my ass hole (yet again) while K
sat on my face and rubbed her rough-haired cunt against my tongue and
open mouth while I struggled violently to breathe.  I hated it while
they did it, but after she climbed off, I wished that sometime they'd
suffocate me with her cunt until I pass out, then keep on fucking me
until they cum while I'm unconscious.  GOD I wish someone would do
that to me!

They made me push two fingers in her ass and my thumb in her cunt and
wiggle them both from inside, which aroused her.  I also had to push
my tongue into dave's ass hole as deep as I could and leave it there
while they sat on me and kissed and touched each other's sex organs.

I pushed my tongue so far in that my teeth knawed his ass hole and I
could wiggle my tongue around inside his intestine.  That was actually
interesting to me, a fact even more bizarre than doing it in the first
place. While they tenderly caressed, he rhythmically squeezed base of
my tongue with his circular muscle (which he might not have even
realized he was doing).

I liked it because it was embarrassing and degrading and humiliating.
I really don't know why they liked it. A tongue in your ass?  I guess
they liked dominating me.

I wish some stupid rednecks would drag me off the street into a van.
I feel my clothes being torn off, then I wake up hours later in a
crowded city in the filthy alley next to a liquor store dumpster. My
mouth is full of glue-like drying semen, and I'm completely naked and
covered from head to toe with purple and black bruises, men's cum, and
thick welts, some slightly bleeding.

I think about that while masturbating.  And when I feel myself about
to cum, I picture lots of whip marks on my face.  I also imagine
stumbling through the alley in my bare feet and falling onto the busy
sidewalk.  People going to lunch  see me laying there naked and
motionless, covered in dirt, sweat, and whip marks.  Then a woman
gasps and calls the police while the men all stare at me and get big
boners in their pants.

Anyway, RL isn't quite that exciting.  After D and K cummed, they went
to sleep and left me between them all night with no blanket, still
tied to their headboard by my hands and feet.  It was winter, and D
opened the window just so he could lay under his cozy comforter and
feel me there next to him, shivering and suffering for him to prove my
love.

Okay, it was the FLORIDA winter, 50 or 60 degrees.  But it was still
cold.

I couldn't stand it anymore and whispered to K to please, please put a
blanket on me.  But D woke up too, walked into the bathroom and got a
sopping wet washcloth which he rubbed all over me. Then they both went
back to sleep.

I figured they weren't going to give me a blanket.

I was really, REALLY freezing after that, shaking violently and hoping
I wouldn't throw up on him while he slept, even though he deserved
it.  I was so cold that I felt like my skin was on fire and I wanted
to thrash around and scream.  But I didn't dare make any noise because
D said that if I woke his wife up again, he'd fill up my cunt with ice
cubes and duct tape it closed.  And I think he was serious.

If he really that, he'd probably whip me all over after he put the
duct tape on, and I'd be crying and praying that I'm not driven insane
before my body heat melts the ice cubes and ends the searing pain he
deliberately put in my most private, personal place just to hurt it.

The "session" ended around 4 in the morning when I woke her up again
and said I was about to pee on their bed.
 __________

If you liked this, then you need to read my description of the other
time I was sexually tortured.  Basically, what happened was, I always
read every true crime story I can find about women being kidnapped and
kept for years as sex slaves.  While reading the very first one
(Perfect Victim), I decided that before I die, I *must* experience
this myself.

Then in 2002, I met a girl from high school who's married now and she
told me how her husband locked her in their bedroom closet for more
than a day with no food or water,.  He only took her out for his
friends to whip and fuck, then he put her back in the closet while she
cried.  The whole time, she was completely naked and bent over with
her hands handcuffed to her ankles.

...And she LIKED it(!)

When I heard that, I thought I was going to melt, and I blurted out
that I wanted him to so that to me, too.  I asked her if maybe he
would tie me to their furniture, and torture me sexually for real.
The important point being that I wanted him to actually hurt me and
rape me, just like Fritzel's daughter and Natascha Kampusch and Coleen
Stan got.  It had to be nonconsensual, like it was for those lucky
girls who had no choice but to endure it every day for years.

I wanted to endure being whipped and burned with cigarettes on my cunt
and pins pushed through my hairy vulva while I sob and panic and
scream so hard I can't breathe and beg him to stop because I changed
my mind--for an entire 3-day weekend.

Well, I got exactly what I wanted.

And more, LOTS more.

It was the only time I ever did anything even tangentially like that,
but by god, for the first time in my life, I stopped dreaming it, and
would actually BE it.

tinyurl dot com slash myepiphany

Like the other link, that's also not a porn site, and there's no way
to send me money. It's just a true story of what a crazy autistic
astrophysics chick let dozens of stupid drunken 'necks do to her while
she was gagged and tied on her back to a bench with her legs held open
in a stranger's basement for 2½ days nonstop, with no breaks, sleep,
or mercy.

It was literally a religious revelation to me.  I finally discovered
what I really am, and what god wants me to be.  I guess I'll post that
here as a separate story.

Hmm, this group is moderated and my stuff contains links.  Strictly
speaking, it isn't even a story. But fuck it; I'm not getting paid for
this and I'm not changing it.  When it's kicked back, I guess I'll
post it somewhere else.  It's only the group that will lose.

?,

faye kane homeless brain

PS:
More pix of me and my cave in the woods:  tiny url dot com slash
kanecave

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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