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Message-ID: <61225asstr$1309828202@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
From: Carol Cobillard <cobillard@hotmail.com>
Importance: Normal
Subject: {ASSM} Mom's Friend's Rules: Faith and Orgasm, Puberty and Coming-out
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Date: Mon, 04 Jul 2011 21:10:02 -0400
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Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories
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   "Is age really just a number?

   "A 51-year-old 'Lost' star stirs outrage by marrying a 16-year-old.  We
look at the research about such pairings"
http://bit.ly/iJoW2d



   "Pregnant 37-Year-Old Charged With Molesting 15-Year-Old Husband"
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=1317726



   "Girl, 13, Marries Into Controversy; Arundel Says It's Legal, but
Critics Say It's Child Abuse" (Marriage to 29-y.o.  man)
http://bit.ly/iWTIjt





   For Mom's Friend, the sex cult leader and theologian, making love was
part and parcel of faith.  Borrowing from the theology of Moses David's
Children of God, the sect that she and my Mom abandoned about 1980, she
argued that the "Law of Love" pre-empted every other commandment and golden
rule.  And for "love" it would seem that both meant "lovemaking".  Because
from (the start of) puberty on, boys and girls were encouraged, even
expected, to make love.  And, at least at Mom's Friend's House, to be seen
making love.



   At Mom's Friend's House, the grand home that she bought with trust fund
money from her parents' estate (available to her only after she'd left the
Children of God), there was always accommodation for single moms.  These
moms were refugees from the CoG and other sects and cults.  Many had the
CoG left, as my Mom and Mom's Friend did, because of the rampant child
sexual abuse that went on: http://bit.ly/lmtvwF (CNN interview with two
women who had been abused as girls within the CoG.)



   But the single moms had to abide by Mom's Friend's Rules, and those
Rules presumed that making love was, or should be, witnessing for Jesus,
that arousal indicated God's presence, that the penis was the instrument of
Christ, that orgasm was union with God, and that semen was the host of Holy
Communion: the body and
blood of Christ.  That sex should begin at puberty and be public, that

orgasms should be witnessed.  And, of course, that the penis must be
circumcised, the way Jesus's was (Luke 2:21).



   Circumcision is anyway (usually) a matter of maternal preference, and
women love circumcised penises more: http://bit.ly/ktHxl8 (I have only ever
had one uncircumcised penis in my mouth and it belonged to an English boy I
met in Ibiza so it doesn't count.) And see this, on whether women really
think that penises are ugly (no) and how much they care about size (it
depends): http://bit.ly/ktUvXw
As someone who has experienced hundreds of penises my comment here has

to repeat what Divine Brown said in 1995 about Hugh Grant's penis: "I've
seen bigger and I've seen smaller.  But his was cute." And to me, strength
of erection is more important, as is personality of the boy.  But then (as
girls have repeatedly told me) once you have appraised his penis's
"functional quality", the boy's wealth and his intellectual capacity are
more important than anything else that has to do with him.  At least if you
are looking for more than a one-night stand.



   (But it's curious that like David Berg himself (who had Jewish roots but
was virulently anti-Semitic, perhaps because he was excluded from Israel
and thus unable to "bring the message to the Jews" http://bit.ly/lSFLcq )
Mom's Friend too could not keep her eyes off Jews, and off their
circumcised penises.  She once tasked several college-age girls with
seducing as many Jews as they could, "flirty fishing" among them for Jesus.
Speaking of Jews, I'm told that lots of them act in porn films, but what
would I know.  Probably it's just another anti-Semitic rant:
http://www.vnnforum.com/archive/index.php/t-35273.html )



   The holiness of semen is self-evident whenever a boy is seen ejaculating
into a girl of faith, and most especially when he ejaculates into her
mouth. One can observe the same other-worldly facial expression found in a
young girl when a communion wafer melts on her tongue.  Mom's Friend was
scarcely the first to teach that semen has such a quality: Moses David
encouraged girls to swallow the "golden seeds"
http://www.xfamily.org/index.php/Golden_seeds that boys ejaculated; and the
web site http://sacredsemen.com/ recounts the history of the ingestion of
semen as religious act.  (The secular obverse of this was the
"spermatorrhea panic of the 19th and early 20th centuries.  Indeed one
argument for circumcision at that time -- and for the establishment of the
Boy Scouts -- was the reduction of self-abuse, of masturbation.)



   Mom fled the CoG with me when I was a baby, disillusioned by child abuse
and pedophilia there.  We lived for a decade in other communes and then for
a year on a houseboat owned by her then boyfriend.  And after that at Mom's
Friend's House.  I came of age in our last year in a commune, and I was
just under 12 when I lost my virginity, seemingly by accident, while
engaged in nude horseplay with a boy.  And as I've written in essays over
the years, I wound up taking particular pleasure as a 12-year-old seducing
changeling boys I found at the boat dock, well over a dozen in that year.
And at Mom's Friend's House I found I could do the same thing, but in an
institutionalized fashion:



   -- Mom's Friend enforced a same-age rule whereby boys and girls could
only have sex with partners within 10% of their own age.



   -- Mom's Friend had a defloration protocol.  A girl's defloration party
would begin with her, seated at the end of a bed, taking the boy's penis in
her mouth and playing with it, performing fellatio, for five minutes or so.
And her mother, a Christian believer in the connection between Jesus and
orgasm, watching proudly as her daughter's head bobs up and down on that
penis.  The boy would withdraw his penis before ejaculation and then
perform cunnilingus on his girl -- again under the watchful eye of her mom
-- to the point of orgasm.  At which time his penis would slide into her
wet vagina to deflower her.  The girl to be leaning back on pillows, her
eyes open, watching that penis in motion.



   (Lest you, Dear Reader doubt that a mother could look on longingly while
her daughter is deflowered -- "violated" one would once have said -- I
refer you to Professor Michael Burleigh's book "Sacred Causes" for how
insecurity and despair lead to faith and search for (political or cult)
leadership, and faith leads to abandonment of reigning norms.  Suffice to
say that my Mom liked nothing better than to see me with a penis in my
mouth bringing a boy to orgasm.)



   -- While girls and boys might be timid when they first arrived at Mom's
Friend's House, this would not last long.  The support system and the "love
bombing" of both mothers and offspring and the common sight of adults and
teens in the throes of oral and vaginal sex would rapidly initiate
newcomers into the style of life and belief.  There was no room at Mom's
Friend's House for modesty, privacy or embarrassment.  And when it came to
sex one was conditioned to give in to one's urges and needs, to
spontaneity, faith and pleasure.



   -- For girls, the feminist recognition that, nude, they could exercise
controlling influence over boys through their breasts and through the
promise of their vagina worked a rapid transformation.  To realize that (as
Moses David had put it) "God loves sex" and that Jesus is present at the
moment of orgasm released girls and their mothers from the bonds of
mainstream society and its false and hypocritical "chastity" norms.  As
Mom's Friend taught, puberty is the signal that God wants a girl's hymen to
be "released" and sacred semen subsumed as part of her body.



   (I think Mom's Friend anticipated the "Romeo and Juliet" laws that
largely exonerate teens of about the same age from the statutory rape laws
where the sex is consensual.)



   -------------



   My encounter with "Boy #14" was typical.  Mom's Friend's daughter,
"Older Girl", had arranged the dalliance.  At Mom's Friend's House there
were two major areas for casual nudity: the outdoor pool and the back yard
up to the barbecue area (that picnic area itself was "nudity optional", the
remainder of the backyard and the side yard were "clothed territory"), and
the communal showers and exercise area.  The exercise area had gym mats and
padded benches that like the grassy yard near the pool were hospitable to
public sex.  Older Girl arranged for me to be waiting nonchalantly on one
of the benches, my back to the wall, my legs a bit apart, when Boy #14's
mom brought him in and had him take off his shorts.  Things then proceeded
much as they would have at a girl's "coming out" party, except that I, and
not the boy, led the proceeding.



   I looked at the boy's penis and told him how gorgeous it was.  I saw it
was still growing and wanted to play with it; on the other hand I didn't
want him to feel in any way inadequate.  His mom pushed him forward and I
drew him close and began to fondle his penis and his scrotum.  His penis
was (I guess, thinking back) something under 5 inches long, circumcised (of
course) and very cute, very kissable.  (Was it Older Girl who said she
never saw a circumcised penis without having an urge to kiss it?) When he
started pulling away I grasped his waist and pulled him closer and licked
the head of the penis.  He froze, so I was able to move my hands to his
penis, cupping his scrotum and tickling the underside of his penis with my
tongue.  I ran my tongue along its entire length and put just the glans
into my mouth to kiss and fondle with my tongue and lips.  We were going to
have a good time together.



   In later years, after 1998, virgin boys would have access to Viagra and
similar pills to embolden and assure them of erections.  But I was 18 by
that time; this was five years earlier and I had to rely on psychology and
seduction experience to assure my boy a constant erection.



   I know that for sexually liberal mothers it's a lovely drama to watch
her pubescent or adolescent son being seduced, to see him aroused and in
due course to watch him ejaculate into a girl.  I could see Boy #14's mom
staring intently as I took the head of his penis into my mouth and began
moving my mouth back and forth, slowly, just over the top 1/2 or 1/3 of the
penis.  I just knew that she was anticipating the spurting from that penis
of semen, his DNA, her DNA, the DNA of Jesus.  And that once it was in my
body we would be divinely linked.  Still, I had to wonder even if only for
an instant, was this woman who as a member of Mom's Friend's congregation
was herself committed to "witnessing" through voyeurism/exhibitionism,
through public oral foreplay and vaginal sex within view of her own son,
was she watching me from a critical standpoint?  Would I meet her
expectations as I played with her son's penis and had it in my mouth and in
my vagina?



   I told Boy #14, as I (and as lots of other girls and women do too) how
"I love to feel a penis growing inside my mouth".  But of course it was a
double entendre: I imagined that this changeling boy's penis, still
growing, was
getting adult-size just for me.  Just as Moses David taught, a boy or

girl of any age can enjoy a beautiful orgasm; Mom's Friend's theology held
that children should understand the process of sex and orgasm but only be
encouraged to engage in sex at puberty -- at which time orgasm became a
divinely-inspired right.  I had this boy's penis in my mouth, with parental
approval to draw him into Mom's Friend's circle and to introduce him
irrevocably and inalienably into that right.



   There was perfect quiet as my mouth moved slowly back and forth over Boy
#14's penis.  My intention was to take the his penis out of my mouth before
he could ejaculate, but Older Girl either forgot, or became so entranced
watching the penis in motion, or maybe it was because the boy reached
orgasm in less than five minutes.  He certainly did not signal to me that
he was about to ejaculate, and I didn't sense that slight change in cadence
or pulse that sometimes tells the girl what is going to happen.  I simply
began to feel semen dripping onto my tongue, not a lot of it but enough to
cover the top of my tongue.  I looked at the boy and at his mom, and I
smiled and kept up my movement until no more semen was ejaculated.  I
opened my mouth slightly so they could see, and then I swallowed.  And I
froze for a moment as I reflected on what Jesus had given me.



   I still wanted to have the penis in my vagina.  I would have to hope
that the boy could get another erection quickly; at his age it ought not be
much of a problem.



   I moved my legs further apart, slid my body forward on the bench, leaned
my back against the wall and guided my boy's head down to my vagina. 
Although Older Girl would have briefed him on what to do, I instructed him
again: to kiss me lightly
there and to run his tongue, slowly and very lightly, over my clitoris

and, from time to time, into my vagina.  There was a brief interruption
when the boy looked up at me and caressed my breast.  Then he went back to
work with his mouth at my crotch.  For several minutes I held his head
gently to guide him and then I was able to let him do it on his own.  I
always get an orgasm this way: it took about ten minutes.  By this time I
was so dilated and wet that even though his erection wasn't perfect his
penis slid cleanly into my vagina when I pulled him upright and guided the
penis into place.  Boy #14 was entranced, and he moved his hips back and
forth seemingly forever until I felt him trembling, pulsating.  Not much
semen came out but his eyes told everything.  Jesus had come and gone, and
left his gift of Holy Communion.  The boy stood in front of me, his penis
still pointing at me and bobbing about, lovely and moist.



   The boy's mom hugged him.  Older Girl hugged and kissed him.  The boy
was now "in play" and for the next 5 years or so he would be visiting Mom's
Friend's House a couple of times a week for sex.  And faith.  Later I began
to measure Boy #14's penis to make him proud of its growth and its
goodness. A couple of years later he would be my partner a few times at our
nude dance parties and by then he was skilled at my favorite mutual oral
sex.  Once we were "first on the floor", which meant, at our parties, that
we were first to break away from the dancing to make love.  Others would
watch the first couple and then, when irresistibly aroused, they themselves
would start caressing, fondling and having sex.



   The best was soixante-neuf with girl on the bottom, the boy kissing her
clitoris, rubbing the inside of her vagina with his tongue, trying
diligently to bring her to orgasm before his penis filled her mouth with
semen.  And those who watched waiting for the overflow of semen to spill
from her mouth, telling them that Jesus had come.



   -------------



   Anyone coming from mainstream life would have to ask how any parent or
sibling could wish to watch, and be fascinated by, the sight of a son's or
brother's in motion in the mouth or vagina of an adolescent girl.  Or,
perhaps even more surprisingly, of a penis deflowering and making love to a
daughter or sister.  To ask such a question is to disregard the issue of
faith: that the penis is proxy
for God, that the semen is the body and blood of Christ.  That the boy

or girl is entering into the community of God where witnessing through sex
and sharing one's body is fundamental to faith. 
http://www.xfamily.org/index.php/Sharing_schedule





   (Sharing of partners was scarcely unique to the Children of God and to
its successor sects like The Family and Mom's Friend's House.  It was
common in the 1960s communes and later in the (more reciprocal) "swinging"
scene.) Vicarious orgasm is a way of life, a matter of faith, and it cannot
be pornographic, the sight of a circumcised penis bringing joy and
ejaculating the Host of Holy Communion to become part and parcel of the
girl's own body.  (Mom's Friend's theology sought to inspire believers to
feel the presence of the Holy Spirit at the sight of ejaculation into a
girl, and to feel an irresistible urge to make love: thus the importance of
sex as "public witnessing" of allegiance to Christ.  And the need for
"sharing": while one was bound to a sex

   partner for 24 hours we were expected to "share" with a different
partner the next time we made love.)



   The final gesture -- the hugging and kissing of boy and girl by their
friends and family after the coming-out, the admiration of drippy penis and
vagina -- show that this rite of passage, this coming of age, is comparable
to any other religious and family event: a bar mitzvah, a bat mitzvah, a
quincea�era, a sweet sixteen.  It was Mom's Friend's hope that every
sub-teen girl would dream of having a wonderful coming-out party, just as
girls dream of first dates and weddings, with her mom and her friends
watching as the gorgeous round head of a stiff penis slides into her vagina
for the first time, with the boy smiling sweetly at her.  It goes without
saying that in the dream the boy and the girl climax together.  And there
is never blood, never pain, never a drippy vagina afterwards.



   For boy and mom in those pre-Viagra days I think that the only concern
with the scenario was whether the boy would be too nervous to maintain a
proper erection, that erection being the symbol of divine presence and
approval.  Although some mothers preferred virgins as a partner for their
son's or their daughter's coming-out event I myself think that a quick and
constant erection is more assured when the partner is experienced.  And,
when the girl has a certain come-hither personality and a real love for
having a penis in her mouth and making love to it.  "Terrific Girl" was, in
this sense, the most seductive and successful partner.  Her eyes always
open and showing eagerness, her tongue would find the most sensitive part
of her boy's penis and at the slightest hint of loss of concentration or
loss of tumescence her tongue would make circular motions around its head,
and her smile would regenerate the boy's confidence and attention.  Even at
age 13 she would say that she wanted to be a "missionary" to tell all girls
everywhere what a wonderful experience it was to have a penis in her mouth
and to feel "the first spurt of semen coming out of its little slit" and
that "you and Jesus did this together".



   At a coming-out party it was always intended that ejaculation should be
into the girl's vagina.  This is her "defloration", an unfortunate word
since in our lexicon the breaking of the hymen is an act of liberation, of
sexual freedom.  We are appalled at the "Night of Defloration" in Muslim
countries where the mother in law is charged with witnessing her son's
penetration of his bride and the presence of blood.  Here it was the girl's
own mother who guides her, and in effect the chosen boy's penis, in the
rite of passage to full membership in our congregation of Christians.  The
defloration is sealed with semen, the physical presence of Christ. 
Defloration as ceremony and as sacrament may be culturally alien to
America, but it is not uncommon elsewhere.



   (It is for that very reason, the status of semen as body and blood of
Jesus, that the question of "spit or swallow" is alien to us.  As sacred
Host, semen always enhances and never demeans the girl's status.  This is
true for oral sex, but also where the girl chooses to take her boy's penis
into her mouth following ejaculation in her vagina.  Many girls did that at
their coming-out party.)



   As for the friends and family present at a coming-out: I've mentioned
often in my essays that it was very unusual for a father to be there for
his daughter's defloration.  Mom's Friend's House was a feminist
organization, sex was always female-driven and -directed.  More than that,
it was recognized that the sight of a daughter playing with a penis and
guiding it into her mouth and vagina could be disturbing to a father,
however committed he might be to the principle of sex-as-religion.  Mom's
Friend's partner, the father of "Terrific Girl", was the only man I can
identify as consistently unflinching at the sight of a penis ejaculating
into his daughter's mouth.  But then it is hard to envisage a father or
brother being upset by the sight daughter or sister's sex if he himself is
at that very time having oral sex -- something Terrific Girl, even at a
young age, was clever enough to appreciate.  And Mom's Friend was happy to
comply, dropping whatever else she was doing to make love.



   (I have written often about Terrific Girl, a girl who is, and has always
been, naturally sexy and who seemed hardly to go a day, two days anyway,
without being seen with a penis in her mouth.  She might not get to Mom's
Friend's ideal of 20,000 orgasms in a lifetime but I'm sure she will get to
10,000.  http://bit.ly/mfiYVl (my essay on Terrific Girl with an 11-y.o. 
sex partner

   "with a big penis") I've written a good deal about her over the years
because as Mom's Friend's stepdaughter she had a special relationship with
the House.  And because her father, more than any other adult male, was
committed to Mom's Friend's principles.  Terrific Girl had grown up seeing
her dad's penis in motion and she was quite pleased to show off her own
sexuality, and to have sex, with him watching.  And even to make love in
tandem on the same big bed - just as I did so often with my Mom alongside
and just as other girls did.  But then, even when she was quite small
Terrific Girl seemed to enjoy seeing her father and step-mother making
love, and when she saw them nude would ask if they were about to do it.



   The whole point of Mom's Friend's theology was that a brother and sister
or a parent and offspring ought never be embarrassed or nonplussed by sex.
And that the vicarious orgasm of a loved one, in tandem with your own
orgasm, magnifies the blessing and the witnessing in Jesus's name.  In
Mom's Friend's theology one could never be closer to one's origins and to
God than when mother and daughter receive the Holy Communion of ejaculation
together in passion, romance and faith.



   (Terrific Girl, unlike almost all the other girls at Mom's Friend's
House, lived with her dad.  Most of the other girls, myself included,
either were "Jesus Babies" http://www.xfamily.org/index.php/Jesus_Baby
whose father was unknown, or had been abandoned by their fathers.  We all
thought she was special because she not only had a father but in a certain
way she had custody of his penis and could be proud of it and see it in
motion and in ejaculation.  Oddly, the absence of her mother, whom she
rarely saw, never seemed to bother her since Mom's Friend had cared for her
"forever".  Perhaps it was her relationship with her father that made her
want to come out as soon as her body allowed.  She was there, and indeed
she took off her nightie to share her nascent breasts, that night when I
experimented on a sleeping boy to see if I could bring him to orgasm orally
without waking him: http://bit.ly/mwMjuA Her coming out was a big event for
all of us and to see her thereafter playing with a penis always made us
feel privileged to watch.  And that the boy was getting a special Christian
gift.)



   There were always many men at Mom's Friend's House, and lots of them
were "weekend dads" who brought their adolescent sons and daughters. 
Others were hangers-on, largely professionals who had some skills or
influence to offer Mom's Friend: doctors, lawyers, politicians and so on.
Others (I assume but have never been able to prove) must have subsidized
the House with cash - something that was also a part of the Children of God
Flirty-Fishing idea (sex for hearts and minds, but also for money
http://www.xfamily.org/index.php/Flirty_Fishing ).  It was the single moms
living at Mom's Friend's House who would do the FF-ing with these men,
often in the presence of their respective sons and daughters: sex
education, so to speak.  After all, having grown up seeing Mom beginning
every sex session with her lover of the day by undressing him and taking
his penis into her mouth and in due course having him put his tongue in her
vagina, I knew from an early age that oral sex was (as she said) "normal,
gorgeous and fun".  Even if in my pre-pubescent years I didn't care to
watch it.



   For others as, eventually, for me the timing of a girl's or a boy's
coming out was felicitous, dependent in fact more on peer pressure and
opportunity -- and hormone-driven desire -- than on parental guidance.  A
parent might be proud to see a son or a daughter being his or her sex life
in Christ, but defloration might happen by accident, as in my case when I
was not yet 12, as by pre-planning and with a fancy party to celebrate it.
What was universal was that after a coming out, the boy or girl would be in
play and in demand.  And could expect to make love within the community a
few times a week from then until college or age 19.  Restricting sex within
the wider community of free-love communes in the region meant that the
chance of STD infection was minimized: every boy and every girl knew that a
dalliance outside meant exclusion.



   (The Children of God, beginning in the mid-1980s after Mom had left,
handled the risk of HIV similarly, and every new communicant would be
quarantined for six months.  The CoG, like Mom's Friend's House, rejected
condoms as violating the Rule of Onan.  (Genesis 38:8-10 (Onan story);
http://bit.ly/ketuxG (birth control is sinful)) But Mom's Friend
interpreted the Rule differently: for her, oral contraceptives were allowed
"medicine", not prohibited mechanical devices.  And every girl would take
oral contraceptives from the time of her first menses.  Moses David
explains this to his adolescent followers, and says why girls between the
time of first menstruation and age 16 must not have vaginal sex:
http://scr.bi/beLADO ("What are the rules regarding sex for a
15-year-old?")



   Aside from the matter of age and the encouragement of promiscuous (i.e.
serial changes of partner), Mom's Friend's Rules presumed quite
conservative sex, at least in terms of positions.  (A middle-aged married
couple, "Jenny and Joey", have produced a number of How-To and also
pornography-market videos of exactly the kind of sex Mom's Friend
encouraged and the happy pulsating and swallowing of semen; clips from
these are easily found on the Internet.  http://bit.ly/kI3Aga (Google
search).  The point to be made about Jenny is how she concentrates so well
on the glans of her lover's penis, gently coaxing it to excitement and, in
due course, ejaculation.  Taken as a lesson in oral sex, there is nothing
new: oral
sex workshops have been around forever http://bit.ly/mOpsLo Even

13-year-olds have been known to get together with a few boys to learn about
penis mechanics.) A friend once compared Mom's Friend's House to the
blow-job school that was the subject of the camp 1980 French film Les
Petites �coli�res.  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0171617/ (movie review)



   Mom's Friend prescribed oral foreplay because it constituted the essence
of Holy Communion.  She encouraged vaginal sex beginning with a girl's
menarche or a boy's spermarche.  She definitely did not want changeling
boys and girls to be embarrassed by the state of their bodies; she wanted
them to respond to any urge for sex and denied that there could be any such
disorder as "sex addiction".  For her, (false) modesty and chastity and
especially virginity were insults to Jesus and to his teachings regarding
generosity, love and procreation.  For a girl, coming out and the sacrifice
of her hymen constitute baptism by sex; the ejaculation of semen into her
at orgasm is her First Communion.  It is no wonder that a mother would
often urge her daughter to take the boy's penis into her mouth after he had
ejaculated into her vagina.  That way she would have her first taste of
semen while still in the flush of her first orgasm.  (In my case I had oral
sex the next day and I somewhat regretted the lack of any ceremony to it.
Somehow I felt that it was expected of me, and that it was good, having
seen my Mom doing it throughout my childhood.)



   Mom's Friend liked mothers or one of the Mom's Friend's House doctors or
nurses to measure and record genital growth.  (I've mentioned in the past
the mothers who kept annual family photographs taken in the nude and who
spoke fondly of their offspring's sexual and religious awakening.) Mom's
Friend argues that, since as with other organized religions masturbation is
forbidden in her theology, it follows that boys and girls must be allowed
and encouraged to make love in God's name, that semen is the reward of sex
and orgasm and that it must be properly appreciated.  And that under no
circumstances must a girl be demeaned by it: for Mom's Friend bukkake (for
example) is a despicable anti-feminist attack on girls and women.  (There
is a semantic issue here, since while masturbation is disallowed caressing
is encouraged.  I think Mom's Friend's main point is that by the time a
penis has been made erect or a vagina wet it for the mouth and tongue to
accomplish the rest -- up to the point of penetration, of penis in vagina.



   Regarding bodily changes, in a sense Mom's Friend copied the rule of
Sharia in accepting as adulthood the presence of pubic hair. 
http://www.moallim.org/en-question-9.html (Never mind that Muslims shave
their pubic hair.) This is not to deny that emotional and psychological
adulthood may not be achieved until a decade later.  And she certainly
diverged from Islam, as from organized religion generally, in inviting
girls to use their breasts, especially when nude, and their demeanor to
arouse.  And always to smile if the provocation results in an erection. 
Unlike the protocol of naturism and nudism generally, boys were encouraged
to be proud, but tactful, of their spontaneous erections.  But there was a
caveat: the
sight of a penis is not necessarily arousing to a girl -- it all depends

on context.  And boys must be prepared to accept "no" for an answer.



   Coming out (i.e., first sex), for most boys and girls, was at age 13 but
early or delayed puberty would mean that the urge to do so came earlier or
later: in my case I
was quite happy that a boy had fallen on top of me during nude horseplay

and that somehow his penis had slipped into my vagina.  Mom, on the other
hand, was disappointed that she didn't get to see and guide me; and later I
was disappointed also to think that I had missed the opportunity for orgasm
at my coming out.  Perhaps that's what led me to be quite strict with boys,
insisting that they not act bored while performing oral sex on me and
preferring, during mutual oral sex, that my orgasm come before the boy's,
before my mouth filled with his semen.  There were more girls than boys at
Mom's Friend's House, quite by design.  Mom's Friend so often said that sex
ought to be based on "romance and passion and faith", not (at least not in
adolescence) on "love".  While "no" must be understood as meaning "no" and
not "maybe", there is no reason why a girl's body should not be urgently
wanted by every boy who looks at it.  And no reason why she shouldn't smile
at boys who do, or at their penises.



   (There was for a time a pair of pre-pubescent kids who appeared at Mom's
Friend's House from time to time and who had -- like some of the kids at
Children of God in fact -- copied teens and adults showed off their
acrobatic sex techniques.  My recollection of them is of their performing
soixante-neuf and then, just before the boy's orgasm, quickly switching
position so the boy's penis could slide into the girls vagina, wet with
saliva.  They grew into puberty still doing that, and then disappeared. 
Their provenance was never clear to me.  Mom's Friend seemed to ignore
them, which suggests that their respective parents had some special
political or other status.  The last time I visited her Mom's Friend showed
me a collection of "naturist" family photographs she had kept and they
included a time series of those two kids passing through puberty.  Mom's
Friend laughed at the sight of the boy's penis growing and the girl's
breasts coming of age, all in the space of a year or two.  It brought back
to me the thought of the boy, aged 10 and 11, running around with an
erection, urging the girl to let him kiss her vagina.  The last snapshot in
the series showed the boy with a big penis and a big smile.  I convinced
myself I could see signs of drippiness at the vulva and pubic hair of the
girl standing next to him, she looking at the camera with a tight smile. 
Happily there were no pictures of a sexual nature, something anyway banned
there.  I retrospect there I wonder how attractive, cute and sexy most
people would find the image of a girl and boy of 10, he with his penis in
the girl's mouth.  I used think it nice but that was then and this is now.)



   Getting back to (post-puberty) adolescent sexual urges, I tried to pass
a positive and responsive attitude on to Terrific Girls and to other girls
I mentored.  That Jesus wants boys and girls to have sex, and they should
react to impulses and urges of the moment without second thought.  And once
you are doing it, for a girl the most important attribute during sex is the
ability to communicate wordlessly with your boy, even if it's the first
time you are with him.  I liked to think that I could predict almost to the
stroke the moment when my boy would start to ejaculate and the result was
that I could manipulate his semen as I liked: for example to swallow each
pulsation as it came, or to collect it at the base of my mouth.  I know
that bystanders, especially male bystanders, have a need to catch a glimpse
of the semen, almost as if they thought that boys, just like girls, were
prone to faking orgasm.  The whole fetish of "creampie" is based on the
observation that for a boy to withdraw and masturbate, indeed any kind of
coitus interruptus and last-minute withdrawal, is unnatural and wrong. 
Once one approaches the "point of no return" and feels orgasm coming on,
Jesus becomes co-partner and you, the boy, are responsible for enabling
your girl to receive His DNA.



   More than that, Mom's Friend decreed that every girl had the "right to
pursue orgasm" every time, and that if, like 80% of girls, one could only
be assured of orgasm through cunnilingus then it was the sacred obligation
of the boy to do that, either as foreplay or after ejaculating into her
vagina.  ("Jenny and Joey" have published a video clip on cunnilingus as
foreplay, followed by ejaculation in vagina that replicates Mom's Friend's
ideal: http://www.youporn.com/watch/327141/mature-couple-creampie/
) Orgasm, after all, is the culmination of the sacrament of sex, oral

and vaginal.  Orgasm is everyone's birthright, albeit one postponed.  (The
"Hite Report" discusses some of these issues.) The Rule that adolescent sex
should not be private but before friends and family assured that this
principle would be honored.



   It should be noted that orgasm is sacrament only if the sex is
consensual and reciprocal and the parties are substantially equal -- hence
Mom's Friend's Same Age Rule and all her other Rules, those relating to
mutuality of orgasm, to parental guidance, to absence of privacy and so on.
Rape is among the worst of sins, the worst of crimes.  Child abuse,
including "statutory rape" where the sex partners are of unequal age, is
unlikely when these rules are observed: what boy is going to be able to
take advantage of a girl, to be abusive or demeaning to her, with the
girl's mother looking on?  Indeed, in 1993 when we were living on the
houseboat and in Mom's absence I had brought a boy I'd met on the docks to
the bedroom, Mom walked in unexpectedly.  Never mind the boy's surprise,
and the fact that his penis had just ejaculated into my mouth was not the
issue.  Mom had seen the boy's reluctance to put his tongue into my vagina
and she chastised him for that.  Remembering all the times my Mom and I
made love in parallel on a huge bed, she with her lover of the week and me
with the son of that lover, these led to some of the best orgasms I could
ever hope to have had.  Or to have given.



   The whole point of this is that sexual urge and arousal are most intense
in the adolescent years.  From the standpoint of Mom's Friend's theology
this is a cry from Jesus to join boys and girls together with him in
celebrating the Law of Love and in propagating the faith.  Youth ought to
rebel against the controlling, social-engineering, cult of senility that
seeks to rob them of orgasms.  And in truth, the best way to sort out one's
future, to find a mate, is to experience as many sexual partners as
possible.  And the best test of a personality is to see how important the
quality of your orgasm is to him or to her.  Mom has told me over and over
again that it takes her just seconds to judge the personality a boy whose
penis is in my mouth.  Before he has even ejaculated she can assess the
gamut of his personal qualities.  Now that I am older, and having seen
dozens and dozens of pubescent and adolescent boys and girls in the throes
of sex, I know that she is right.



   To my mind, quite apart from instilling in boys and girls an unselfish
Christian attitude, what Mom's Friend accomplished in the name of feminism
was to instill in boys -- beginning almost from the growth of their first
pubic hairs -- a compelling urge to kiss and lick a girl's clitoris and
vagina, taking priority over penile penetration.  There were many subtle
aspects to this conditioning on her part: the first and not the least
important was to get rid of the conventional notions of what is "ladylike".
A girl, especially when nude, might keep her legs apart, not together.  (In
this regard Mom's Friend successfully countered a tendency among changeling
boys and girls to hide their growing sex parts even among nudists. 
http://www.slate.com/id/2266049/pagenum/all/#p2 For Mom's Friend, sexual
development was a sign of Jesus's presence.) She has a right to look to a
boy's penis for clues even if she is not flirting.  And jealousy, precursor
to possessiveness and abuse, must not be tolerated.  This is anyway
consistent with the evolution of human behavior among educated youth today:
http://www.scribd.com/doc/22311293/ (oral sex among college women,

   scholarly analysis)



   I have to say that during the latter part of our stay at the houseboat
and our first year at Mom's Friend's House, when I was around 13 and 14,
changeling boys I had sex with were invariably intimidated by my physical
maturity and in particular by my boobs.  This made me something of a
dominatrix despite the fact that such wasn't at all my intention.  It also
occasionally delayed the boy's erection by distracting, not arousing, him.
Once I was established at Mom's Friend's House, Older Girl taught me a
trick to get around the problem: basically constant chatter and, if as it
usually did the seduction process took place over a few days, love-bombing.
http://www.google.com/search?rls=en&q=%22love+bombing%22

   (definition).



   (Love-bombing is a very effective recruiting tool for cults and sects.
I've written in the past about mothers-and-daughters who would be referred
to Mom's Friend's House following abuse, homelessness or flight and within
minutes would be surrounded by an (over-)friendly welcoming crowd and
shadowed constantly (constant chatter, again).  The inevitable result,
nearly 100% of the time, was that mother and daughter (or indeed mother and
son) would be guided to a nude area of the house and in due course there
would be an impromptu coming out party for the daughter and a seduction of
the mother.  More extreme than "sexual liberation" of new recruits to the
Children of God, but not by much.  In both churches there was, to be
honest, a cult of penis worship with the highest priority of the faith
being to inspire in boys and girls an urgent need for orgasm and an
exchange of semen, and on the part of mothers to assist and witness their
offspring in their Holy Communion.)



   So long as boys and girls, men and women, stayed at Mom's Friend's House
sex was a way of life and of faith.  But what thereafter?  Like most girls
from Mom's Friend's House I have grown up to be quite conventional. 
Pursuing the sexually liberal way of life proved impractical.  I have a
partner who as it happens I met in that houseboat year but who moved away,
"The Blond-Haired Boy".  We reunited by accident in the Capital City years
later, and here we are, conventionally paired like all those others.  I
write on Facebook and on Twitter as time permits, and I reminisce about
those sexually liberal times.  But except for the philosophy and the
theology, they don't fit into current life or into the increasingly
oppressive social engineering of today's Right-wing-led legal structure. 
Where, if it weren't for the Supreme Court in Lawrence v.  Texas (539 U.S.
558 (2003)), we would probably still go to prison for giving or receiving
fellatio.



   Mom's Friend (and my Mom) abandoned Moses David and his Church because
of Berg's descent into pedophilia.  As a result of litigation in England
(the Lord Justice Ward decision) and thanks to the various survivors'
self-help web sites (notably xfamily.org and exfamily.org) and also the
widely reported murder-suicide of Ricky Rodgriguez ("Davidito"), we know
how young children were abused by adults, including their own nannies and
teachers.  The Mary Kay Letourneau case -- and all the others where
teachers had sex with students (you can Google 'teacher student sex') -- is
another chapter, although to my mind less dangerous since the student is
virtually always physically ready for it, and often emotionally eager and
aroused.  Still, the Same Age Rule is valid at least until both parties to
sex are age 18, and those "Romeo and Juliet" laws of many states recognize
this.  The Wikipedia page on "Age of Consent State by State" explains it.
Teacher-student sex can rightly be prosecuted on another basis, that of
coercion by a person in loco parentis.



   This leaves open one matter that Mom's Friend never addressed: is it
"coercion" when a father celebrates his son's 16th (or even 13th) birthday
by introducing him to a prostitute for sex?  Was it coercion when a mother
or older sibling guided a girl to her defloration party to "come out", or
brought a boy to me so I could play with his penis and bring him to orgasm
in front of his friends and family.  And irrevocably make him need for sex
and the satisfaction of his sexual urges a communal responsibility?  Does
the fact that this was part of our religion change the answer?  Think,
then, of the Indian peyote cases, the Fundamentalist Mormon cases (Warren
Jeffs and his 14-year-old polygynous brides), and all those other
religion-and-sex cases I have discussed in essays over the years.



   Mom's Friend's House closed some years ago; the house was sold over a
year ago.  There were two main reasons: the end of the 60s free-sex
generation, and the financial crisis.  Meanwhile commercial culture entices
children younger and younger to express sexuality and to give rein to their
sexual urges.  I wonder whether Mom's Friend's Rules, and her insistence on
parental observation and guidance -- however weird according to mainstream
mores -- wasn't safer and better for adolescents beginning their sex lives.
And didn't prepare them better for later life.  Terrific Girl once opined
to me that half of divorces would be avoided if the husbands and wives were
more like us, and made mutual orgasm through oral sex a daily event. 
Didn't "J" (Joan Garrity) say something like that 50 years ago in "The
Sensuous Woman"?



   (It may be just as well that Mom's Friend's House closed when it did. 
Given today's technology and universality of cell phones with camera and
video I wonder whether the Rule against photography would be enforceable
today, and whether Mom's Friend and her adult and adolescent communicants
would be safe from prosecution for child pornography.  With the best of
good will and good intentions can adolescents be safe from themselves? 
I've written in the past about the Genarlow Wilson case where someone made
a video of a 15-y.o.  girl performing fellatio and Wilson was sentenced to
10 years.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wilson_v._State_of_Georgia .  Also
In re Z.C.  http://bit.ly/iK44zG and In re E.R.  http://bit.ly/iC7VmN There
are many other such anomalous cases, not all with a good result on appeal.)



   Love,

   Carol


Postscript:
It has been a couple of years since I have written anything in the form

of an essay on life at Mom's Friend's House.  For one thing, Mom's Friend's
House was sold about that time -- and it had been decommissioned long
before that.  For another, my writing was getting rather repetitive and I
had said pretty much all I had to say.  Besides, this year I reached age 30
and all the other child residents of the House I have mentioned are in
their 20s and 30s as well.  Nearly all lead rather conventional lives and
the only one I have talked about who has any professional connection to sex
is Older Girl, and that only tangentially.  She is a single mom.  Terrific
Girl is married with a family.  Mom's Friend has become a motivational
speaker.  My Mom is wheelchair-bound.



   As for the question of later-life implications of early sexualization,
thinking of some of the horrid cases described on the xfamily.org web site,
I can only say that the absence of coercion, the starting age at puberty,
and the parental support meant that there were only positive results.  The
boys and girls who might have been susceptible to emotional or
psychological damage did not stay long enough for that to happen: there was
certainly a turnover of single moms for whom the benefit of cheap
accommodation and care might have been outweighed by a lack of belief in
Mom's Friend's theology, or a judgment that sex was not right for their
child.  Or, perhaps, that the child was gay, who knows.  I have said before
that the availability of easy sex with a rotation of partners took away
much of the stress and conflict that we as teens would otherwise have had.
Any expression of possessiveness or jealousy was absolutely forbidden.  And
the boy upset because "his" girl had the penis of a new boy in her mouth
and his semen on her lips would not last long at Mom's Friend's House. 
Even the inevitable cattiness and bickering among teen girls was moderated
in the environment of common nudity, assured companionship and regular
orgasm.



   (Reverend X, the dirty old man, one of the pastors who hung around Mom's
Friend's House over the years and who managed to get his penis into my
vagina (but not my mouth) on my 18th birthday) used to say "there is
nothing more feminine than the sight of a girl with a penis in her mouth
about to ejaculate Jesus's DNA for her".  Perhaps; certainly we felt, as
young teens, very womanly and controlling and feminist.  If not feminine.)



   That Mom's Friend's House never came to the attention of the authorities
was a factor of lack of cause for complaint on the one hand, and co-opting
of those authorities by the other.  After all, it was powerful
professionals and politicians who were the target for Mom's Friend in terms
of the men who made love to the single moms.



   Since I've said most of what I have to say about growing up in Christian
free-sex communities I probably won't publish more essays of this type.  At
least not soon.  Readers can find my current views on social networking
sites.

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