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From: Nuke Danger <nukedanger@gmail.com>
Subject: {ASSM} There Ain't No Such Thing as a Free Lunch
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Date: Sun, 20 Mar 2011 18:10:03 -0400
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       There Ain't No Such Thing as a Free Lunch

                 by Nuke Danger, 3rd Aye



As an IT guy who had been through enough re-orgs and
RIFs and burned enough to accept the role of contractor,
I'd found a nice small town outfit as my "rental agency"
that serviced enough local small businesses who didn't
need a full-time IT geek, instead, being serviced,
to use a song from _Fiddler on the Roof_, "A little bit
of this, a little bit of that..."

Through all of my years I had acquired a broad (some
would say eclectic) skill-set that helped me handle all
of the little-- and not so little-- tasks that faced me
in this new world of small business workloads.

I sometimes wondered if my "boss" was not really the
owner and was only providing a "front" for someone
else given how shy she seemed.  She was a small and
unassuming woman who was almost waif-like in body and,
as mentally sharp as she was she seemed to be plagued
by self-doubt.  She didn't seem to be assertive enough
for the job, but, then, I can't really criticize her
given my own lack of confidence.  I suspect that, like
me, the only prize either of use could win for
confidence and assertiveness would be the scrap medal.

Mel, actually Melanie, was easy to get along with and
I enjoyed the times we spent together working.

The customer workload seldom kept me busy for more
than four days worth of work per week, so, by the
second week, I started hanging around "our" office
on my "slack" day, Wednesday.  This gave me time to
work on projects for Mel's firm handling the web
services, database of employees, and assisting Mel
in handling billing, payroll and other accounting.
I might not fully understand accounting but I didn't
have to since Mel did the heavy lifting, I only
provided the fulcrum and lever.

What I _did_ observe on those days was how Mel-- and
some of the other people she rented out-- was treated
by our various customers, each of whom what I would
have called, at one time, A-list.

Wondering what I mean for "A-list", something you'd
hear from High School or College these days? The "A"
in A-list stands for aggression, assertiveness,
arrogance and how much of an ass-hole they were in
treating people.

What seemed odd was that few of them treated Melanie
without a fair degree of politeness, consideration
and wary respect.

Well, she got more consideration than _I_ ever did
even when I saved their butts by recovering deleted
files of disinfecting their computers.

Mel, in her role of the agency owner, was the only
person who ever passed along positive comments
regarding my work.  Whenever I was on-site I seldom
got any real feed-back from the asshole in charge,
as if I wasn't really there, though their staff,
usually receptionists and clerks who, often enough,
got a pay-check from Mel, showed some appreciation.

The nice part was that getting a hug, even if it was
not an offer for more, still felt good.

This all changed six and a half months after joining
Mel's little firm.  It was early spring and the
latest dose of snow was vanishing.

I'd gotten into the office over 20 minutes before
Mel's unusually late arrival and observed her
looking more than a bit tired and irritated.  When
ever I'd seen that kind of look on my ex-wife's face
I had interpreted that look as "angry at me".  I had
never before seen this kind of look on Mel's face.
You can imagine that this did boost my level of
anxiety.

"George," she said, calling me over to her desk as
she unpacked her laptop from her bag, "I have some
bad news.  It's about Mark, he died last night, in
a car wreck."

I sighed.  While the work I'd been doing for Mark's
office would be missed by me-- and Mel--  I was less
than likely to miss Mark himself given that, out of
all of our customers, he was, to me, the single
biggest flaming asshole I had ever had the
misfortune to work with... or, indirectly, for.

Let me tell you... I have worked with some prize
ass-holes in _my_ prime.  If you've worked for any
length of time you have some experience with this
kind of person, too, usually accepted as "alive
only because of the Brady Bill".

Fortunately his office did not use any of our girls
as "staff".

Given the loss of income to both of us, I sighed
and shrugged.  "Will I have any clean-up work to
do for his office?"

She shook her head.  "The way things usually work
is that the practice-- Mark having been a lawyer--
will go up for sale and some new lawyer will buy
it up and figure out what to do from there.  And
I'll have to sell them, somehow, on giving us work."

Melanie sighed and asked "You make any coffee, yet?
I feel like I've been awake all night."

In hindsight I have to tell you that this clue
flew so far over my head that I never even heard a
"whoosh".

Given that I now habitually made coffee for her--
my ex had trained me well and the habits had stayed
with me once she'd left me-- it only took a couple
of seconds to pour her some coffee and fix it up
the way she liked in the mornings.

When we sat down at her small conference table each
of us had our favorite morning caffeine with us.
Mel seemed more introspective than usual as she
wrapped her hands around her mug, seemingly drawing
some warmth from it, and eyed me.

"So, George... what do you do, family-wise, these
days?"

I sighed and shrugged.  "My ex moved across the
country and my children, now all adults, have
scattered to the four corners of the earth, so, boss,
I've no family any more.  Why do you think I'm still
living down the street in an efficiency apartment?"

Mel chuckled.  "Want to meet the local network of
people tonight?"

It wasn't like I had anything else on my calendar.
"Sure.  What's the dress code?  I have gone a long
time without a three-piece suit, y'know."  I smiled
at her as she chuckled.  I always appreciated Mel's
response to my efforts to get a laugh out of her.

Even given my one relationship with a member of
the opposite sex I had no inkling that there was
any real flirting going on.  Even in hindsight
I don't have the experience to recognize that
there were hints flying over my head.

"I would not worry about dress code.  You can
arrive in sweats if you want.  No one else will
bother to dress up."

I nodded.  "What time?  And where?"

"At the A&W, at 6:15 sharp, that OK with you?"

I nodded my head.  "Sure, no problem" I said,
then entered the necessary appointment in my
phone.

All those hints... and I had missed them all.

_

I arrived at 6:10 to find Mel in the snow-dusted
parking lot with two of our customers.

The A&W was still closed for the winter awaiting
spring or, better yet, summer, and it seemed an
odd venue for the movers and shakers in this town
to gather.  At least no one was any better dressed
than I was in warm sweats with my big jacket on.

Looking around I felt old and out of shape compared
to the people who'd awaited my arrival.  At least
none seemed particularly unhappy with seeing me
there... though none but Mel seemed happy to see me.

It wasn't until it was too late for me to get away
that I realized this parking lot was hidden from
the road by bushes and hedges and that it backed
up to the woods.  Another hint missed.

When the Sheriff's cruiser pulled up he got out of
the driver's seat while his wife, who normally
handled dispatch calls, got out of the passenger
seat.  Three more tall women, two of whom worked
with me for Mel's agency, were released from the
back seat of his cruiser.

For a short time I felt like an outsider even with
Mel introducing me to everyone as the "newest
addition" to the group.

So, when the Sheriff's wife grabbed my left hand
and put a handcuff on it, I was shocked speechless,
suddenly worried about what they were going to do
with me.  As I was dragged unceremoniously to a
picnic table and attached to its pipe structure
Mel tried to calm me down with soothing words
about a "harmless" initiation ritual.  Having the
one unknown Amazon who had arrived with the Sheriff
shove a suddenly bared nipple into my mouth shut me
especially given how cold and large it was and the
hug she'd wrapped me in.

"George," Mel said, "Just warm up Pam's nipple.
Everything else will be fine, all right?"

When I was finally released from the hug and Pam's
nipple reluctantly pulled from my lips I saw an
odd scene playing out in this parking lot.

I was shocked to watch, in the dim light, everyone
stripping.

Both Pam and Mel were suddenly in a hurry to dump
all of their clothing and how cold they'd get was
disturbing to me even with me still warmly dressed.

I concentrated on Mel as she walked towards me, her
cold stick-like body somehow compelling my eyes to
watch her approach when the first bit of light from
the full Moon popped up over the building and
illuminated her.

Her eyes stayed on mine as, suddenly, her face
changed, her eyes changing last to match the
body that seemed to unfold from her own.

A huge body.

Where a waif-like young woman had paused in her
approach to me I now faced a huge wolf.  Before
the wolf could drop to all fours, I noticed that
this animal, despite having unfolded from the
under-developed but certainly feminine Melanie,
was *male*.

And not "merely" male but excitedly male.

Her... his... eyes compelled me to watch Mel's
new form as... he... approached me and licked my
face.

No matter how lovingly a wolf may lick your face
you will be scared.  A growly voice came from
the wolf I was face-to-face with said "Get your
jacket off... now!"

Don't ask me why or how I complied, my jacket
was soon wrapped around the hand-cuff chain.

"Good" I heard the wolf before me growl out and
then...

... my sweats were quickly shredded from my body
by the claws of this huge wolf right as I was
going to stain them.  The cold stopped everything.

My skin hadn't suffered a single nick.

Then there was a silent pause before Mel gently
teethed my flaccid member and I passed out.

_

 _When I awoke I saw things in shades of grey
and, looking around, saw myself surrounded by
a pack of wolves.  Looking at myself I was
shocked as I realized that I now fit into this
pack just as my paw was too small to be held by
the hand-cuff._

 _I was further shocked, looking around, to count
that the male-female ratio was now reversed, and,
of the female wolves... I was the largest._

 _I felt the back of my neck being nipped and the
wolf-mind I shared this body with moved my tail
out of the way as Mel, my Alpha, mounted me._

 _I was in love, as was my "inner wolf"._

_

In the morning I lay on my side as my body made
the transition back to human with no apparent
injuries but the sudden lack of fur made the cold
ground that much colder.

My new pack helped me as they pulled on their own
clothing by wrapping me up in a large blanket and
placed me in Mel's car, handing me a small trash
bag with my destroyed sweats.  My big jacket was
pushed into the back seat.

I watched as the Sheriff's wife, who I'd watched
repeated mounting her husband, collected the
handcuffs that had been used to secure me for
Mel's effort to recruit me into her pack.

Mel was, again, the small and harmless-looking young
woman I'd become comfortable with and was talking to
the various people cleaning up the parking lot.  As
I watched her I could feel how much I wanted to hold,
cuddle and protect her.  I could also remember, during
the night, how much she had protected me.

The driver's door opened and the Sheriff's wife slid
in behind the wheel.

"George" she addressed me, "I'll bet, with all of
the events last night, you've forgotten that my name
is Caryn.  I suspect that you are confused right
now... but...  how do you feel after last night?"

I sighed.  "Well...  I am confused.  I always thought
that there were no such thing as were-wolves though I
have read enough stories. This is very different from
all of the stories I've read."

She smiled at me. "Yeah, you can't get something for
nothing. You don't look like much as a human, but,
well, *wow*, as a wolf, you were *so* doable, though
you belong to Melanie."

I nodded.

"George, Mel will put you through your paces so you
know what to expect from this change. You, at least,
seem to be coping well given what happened to you."

I smiled and told her "I am not unhappy. Given my
age I wonder how long this will last."

Caryn smiled at me. "George, I am one hundred twenty
two years old. My husband, Brad, is younger, only
ninety four. Mel is three hundred fifty one. You
will look a _lot_ younger by the next full moon, so
you've just got a new lease on life."

I laughed at the memory this triggered. "Maybe you
really mean new 'leash' on life."

Caryn laughed and pointed at me "Muppet Movie, right?"

I nodded.

She gave me a quick hug and left the car after getting
my keys.

Mel drove me home to her house and let me know it was
my turn to be the male.

We spent the next night running in the woods.

_

Since then every full moon I run with Mel's pack as
her Bitch, claimed by her and able to keep the others
in their places.

All of those powerful men, the movers and shakers
of this town, were beneath me given they were all
female werewolves.  They'd not known any more than
I about the full transition and their place in the
human pecking order was reversed in their wolf forms.

As humans, Mel and I are not going to turn heads or
garner much attention, given that Magic is part of
the irony woven into the very fabric of reality, we
don't get the same physical roles in our Were form.

Even with Magic there ain't no such thing as a free
lunch.

One week-end, to surprise Mel, I went to an artsy
store and painted some mugs for us.

Mel's reads "Alpha Male" and mine reads "#1 Bitch".
Seeing these on our desks gets a smile out of those
not in the pack.


                        *Fini*


-- 
"Schroedinger's Cat pretty much defines ambivalence"

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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