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Message-ID: <58062asstr$1219399804@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
From: Rachael Ross <rache696@yahoo.com>
Subject: {ASSM} (RP) Love Letter by Rachael Ross (FF, Lez, First, Rom, Public)
Lines: 517
Date: Fri, 22 Aug 2008 06:10:04 -0400
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<1st attachment, "love letter.txt" begin>

Love Letter

   Copyright 2006 Rachael Ross all rights reserved.  Intended for adults
only.  http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/rache/www/index.htm email:rache696@yahoo.com

   Story Code: F/f, First, Romance, Public

   Note: What's to say?  It's the best First-Lesbian story I've written to
date.  -rr

   Love Letter by rache



   I was fourteen when my life changed forever.  I walked home from school
then, since Our Lady of Lourdes wasn't really that far from the house we
lived in.  Especially if I cut across the junior college campus, that saved
a good 15 minutes.  There were bathrooms there too, near the running track
the college had, and I'd found that convenient on more than one occasion.
The only thing was that the restroom wasn't really clean.  There was a lot
of graffiti on the walls, really dirty stuff that I only sort of
understood, but well enough to know it was nasty anyway.

   But it was kind of neat too, as strange as that sounds.  Mostly there
were just crudely drawn pictures of dicks and stuff, but there were
messages as well.  Someone had spray painted the left-most stall door with
'DYKES ONLY' and inside that one I'd found the most messages.  They said
things like 'Friday night 9pm - Gloria' and 'Golden Girl 342-1872 leave
message' ...and a dozen more.  Some were obviously old, some very new, but
I never knew for sure if they were really real, you know?  I mean, who
would leave their phone number on a bathroom wall?  And why?  I was just
fourteen, an only child, and a catholic schoolgirl to boot; I tended
towards innocence to say the least.

   On this particular day, however, all of that was to change dramatically.
I was cutting across the track and decided to use the restroom and get a
drink of water from the fountain that was just outside the bathroom door.
There was rarely anyone around except on weekends, just one or two people
who might be jogging and this day was no different.  But there was one girl
who was just sitting on the bleachers nearby, not reading or anything, just
sitting there like she was waiting for someone.  I was aware of her
watching me as I crossed the track infield slowly, unable to help but walk
towards her since she was just a dozen feet from the bathrooms anyway.

   I've always felt kind of awkward socially and things like getting close
to strangers always sort of messes me up a little, especially back then.  I
was trying to grow in so many different ways.  I wasn't always comfortable
with my body even though people told me I was pretty.  I was even less
comfortable with my thoughts and feelings sometimes.  So maybe you can
understand why I didn't want to look at the woman who was looking at me,
but I didn't want to look away either.  Or maybe it seems silly, but what
can I say?  That's what I was feeling as this woman, and she was at least
18, probably older than that even, stared at me.  I figured she was a
student at the college and I sort of looked at her, but mostly I just
looked at my feet.  I had a little fear of tripping too, since that would
make me feel like a total idiot.

   She was tall, or so it seemed to me as she sat there.  A lot taller than
my 5 feet nothing I'd bet.  And blonde, with sort of fine long hair that
she parted in the middle.  I'm Amerasian with my brown skin, black hair,
and brown eyes.  Sort of a little nose and almond eyes, but I don't have a
flat moon face or anything, thank God.  She was wearing shorts, cutoff
jeans all faded and frayed, and a plain white t-shirt.  I could see her
skin was pale and I wondered if she worried about getting a sunburn.  This
was September, but still pretty warm.  It's the best time of year in
Seattle, really.  I wasn't going to burn, not with my complexion, even
though my skirt was pretty short.  It was last year's, but I hadn't really
grown that much, just a couple inches over the summer if even that much.  I
hadn't really noticed at all, although my Daddy had told me I needed to get
a couple new skirts or I'd give him a heart attack.  I figured he was just
teasing me though.  He was deathly afraid I'd get a boyfriend.

   I avoided eye contact with the woman as I walked past her, hugging a
couple library books stuffed in my little backpack to my small but recently
budding breasts.  They were just lumps really and I didn't even bother
wearing a bra beneath the white cotton of my blouse since a blazer was part
of the uniform anyway.  But I'd left my blazer in my locker because it was
so nice and warm outside.  My nipples were very dark though and I'd been
regretting it all the while I walked home, but especially as I walked past
the woman on the bleachers.  She was still looking at me, I could tell from
the corner of my eye, and I thought maybe she even smiled a little, but I
couldn't be sure since I didn't want to look.  I just stopped to get a
drink before I went in to use the bathroom.

   As soon as I bent over and started drinking I realized that my too short
skirt had ridden up pretty high in the back.  I could feel it, but it would
have been even more embarrassing to do anything about it, like jerk my body
upright again, which had been my first instinct.  Instead I vaguely hoped
the woman hadn't noticed, since all she had to do was turn her head and she
would have seen my white panty-clad butt easily.  Probably she didn't even
notice, I told myself.  But I was blushing furiously as I quickly finished
drinking and moved as casually as I could, pretending like nothing was
wrong.  I totally ignored her, fearing that I'd see her laughing at me, and
I pushed my way into the ladies restroom, blinking hard and wondering why I
was so stupid all the time.

   I put my backpack on one of the sinks and went into the leftmost stall,
the one I usually used.  None of them locked or anything, but at least the
door on that one would wedge itself into place and stay closed.  I pulled
my panties down until they slid by themselves to pool around my ankles and
pulled up my skirt, bunching it around my narrow hips.  I glanced at the
toilet seat, which appeared barely clean enough to use, but I really needed
to go, so barely was good enough for me.

   I'd just sat down when I heard the door open and the soft flop-flopping
of sandals walking in.  It had to be that girl, I realized.  I suddenly
forgot all about peeing.  I dreaded the sound my urine would make as it hit
the water in the toilet bowel.  The noise would be embarrassing for some
reason, although I'd never had a fear of using a public bathroom before in
my life.  This time it was different though and I didn't understand it at
all.  This strange young woman had made me feel uncomfortable ever since
I'd seen her.  Not for any particular reason other than she'd been watching
me, looking at me.  I was suddenly certain that she'd seen my butt when I'd
bent over to get a drink, and now she was in the bathroom with me.  Why?

   "Hey." I heard her voice and it made me frown.  She was talking?  "You
shouldn't leave your books out here, someone might take them." Her voice
was soft, sort of melodic, like sing-song kind of.  I thought maybe she was
teasing me; it had that friendly, almost intimate texture.

   I didn't say anything.  I didn't even breathe.  I just sat there on the
toilet, holding my skirt around my tummy with my arms crossed, my knees
together and my feet side by side on the floor, with my panties puddled
around my ankles.

   "Helloooo..." she sang softly, definitely teasing me, I thought.  She
seemed to giggle a little.  "What are you doing in there?"

   "Huh?" I managed to say in barely a whisper, but it sounded loud to me.

   "Are you going number one?  Or number two?" her voice was coming from
just on the other side of the stall door.  I was sure she was standing
there and if I'd bent down just a little more I probably could have seen
her feet under the door.

   "Um..." It was like I had to think about it.  "Number one," I managed to
answer, as if it were any kind of her business at all.

   "Oh goody!" The door pushed open and I was horrified to see her standing
there, smiling at me.  "Can I watch?"

   "What?" This was so far beyond the realm of possibility that I had a
hard time believing it was really happening.  Nobody had ever done this to
anyone before, I was sure of it.  In my experience, limited as it was,
public bathrooms were like invisibility booths.  Except at school, I mean,
but you know what I'm talking about.  People, strangers, don't talk to you!
They don't look at you while you're doing it!  I had no idea what to do. 
None.  My mind was a total blank and I couldn't even think to move.  I just
stared up at her in shock.

   "Shhh..." She was smiling and stepping inside, taking up what precious
little personal space I had left.  Our legs were almost touching, me as I
sat there and her standing in front of me.  She managed to close the door
behind her, leaning back against it, and it had happened so fast I barely
knew what she was doing until it was done.

   "Uh, what?" That was the best I could manage in way of protest.

   "I'll let you watch me too." She was undoing her shorts, peeling them
down her long white legs quickly and I realized she had no panties on at
all.

   I'd never known a girl who didn't wear panties before.  That dumb
thought asserted itself bluntly and I stared at her pussy as she exposed
herself completely to me.  She'd shaved herself so that the woman's sex was
smooth and pink, and my mouth was dry suddenly.  I had just a little patch
of black pubic hair, barely worth noticing, growing just above my slit. 
I'd been so happy with that sign of my budding maturity and now here was a
full grown woman who had shaved all her hair off!

   Her pussy looked like mine, sort of, except mine was darker a little. 
My lips were small and thin, the little button of my clitoris barely
noticeable except once in awhile if I'd been washing myself, or riding my
bike for a long time.  It felt good then, when it seemed to grow a bit, and
I'd heard some girls at school talking about rubbing it, but I'd never done
that.  This woman though, her pussy looked fat, her lips were more pinkish
on the outside and hung down just a little.  I could see her clitoris, her
button, it looked like the tip of an eraser to me.  I stared at it and the
woman reached down, putting her fingers on either side of her sex and
thrusting her hips forward a little more.

   "Do you like it?" she breathed.  "Take a good look.  Closer...Get
closer..." she demanded softly and I complied, although I'm not sure why. 

   I was leaning forward until I could smell her, a rather musky, sweaty
smell.  "Yeah baby girl...Right there..." and she moved one of her hands to
my face, stroking my cheek and I jerked slightly away, but her fingers slid
around behind my head.

   "What are you doing?" I whispered, my voice barely audible even to me. I
couldn't resist this, the first overtly sexual experience of my life.  I
was yielding, pliant, and dare I say it?  I was even willing and wanting to
let her direct me to her whims.

   "You're so pretty," she was saying, ignoring my question and pulling my
head gently, but forcefully until my nose was almost touching the soft pale
swell of her sex.  "So pretty...Kiss me now...Kiss me!" She used both hands
to hold my head as I was bent over, my mouth suddenly finding itself
pressed to the uppermost cleft of the woman's vagina.

   "I...I don't want to..." I was trying to say, but maybe I did.  I
couldn't tell.  My heart was beating faster and my tummy churned like I was
sick, but not physically, just emotionally.  I wasn't supposed to be doing
this.

   "Yes you do...Come on..." I was already touching her skin with my face,
with my lips.  Her hand was strong behind my head and I shivered a little
and I was as scared as I've ever been in my life.  But not of her, I was
just afraid of what we were doing.

   And I didn't know what we were doing.  I'd never even heard of such a
thing, not even in the most terrible talk at school.  I'd been protected
all my life, sheltered by my Daddy and now, here in some public toilet, a
stranger was introducing me to sex.  I felt the warmth of her skin on my
face, the softness of her, the sweet and musky scent of her body filling my
nose.  I instinctively brought up my arms, my hands, trying to push her
away as I felt suddenly guilty.  This had to be wrong, whatever it was. 
She was a girl like me and this was a bathroom and I was supposed to be
alone.

   But I wasn't pushing hard enough, if even barely at all, because when my
hands touched her smooth warm skin I jerked them away.  I was moving my
face, trying to turn my head, but she was holding me balanced on that
toilet, just a frightened little girl.  I could feel her moving too,
sliding her sex around so that her rubbery pussy lips moved across my mouth
and cheeks.  I felt her clit, it was hard, really hard and hot and it was
on my nose, like it was tickling me.

   "It's okay...It's okay...Kiss it...Open your mouth..." the girl kept
saying and I felt like I was going to cry and I finally did touch her more
with my hands, pressing my palms to her thighs, but I wasn't fighting her.
It felt good to be held, can you understand what I mean?  She was holding
my head in her hands, forcing me to do it, but gently.  She wasn't hurting
me and it was confusing.  I wanted to be close to someone.  Maybe like that
or maybe not, I wasn't sure, but I thought I could like it.  Part of me, a
small part, really didn't mind that she was touching me and even pushing
her sex against my face.

   I'd never had a boyfriend.  I'd never been kissed or had anyone who
wanted to hold me like that and touch me.  It was overwhelming me, like a
rush of confused pleasure, like love almost, or at least what I imagined
love must be like.  I was scared and guilty and excited all at once.  I
heard her voice, soft and gentle always, and I found myself doing what she
wanted.  I opened my mouth, just a little, and she rewarded me with a sigh,
her soft plump slit sliding across my lower lip, pulling it down and out
and then her hard little clitoris was there.

   "Kiss it...Kiss it for me, sweetie..." she breathed and I did what she
wanted, digging my short fingernails into her skin as I kissed the woman's
clitoris.  "Oh...Suck it...You can do it...Just suck it a little bit..."

   I was flying, like I do in my dreams sometimes, feeling weightless and
dizzy and I didn't know how to suck it, but I did as she asked.  I put my
lips together and I felt her soft skin and the hard little nub of her clit
between them.  It was like sucking the tip of my little finger sort of, no
bigger than that, and I just sucked it like a straw for half a minute.  I
didn't know if I was doing it okay or not, but she must have liked it.  The
woman was massaging my head, my scalp, playing her fingers in my hair and
not really holding me at all anymore.  I was sucking her all by myself.

   "Now..." she whispered, "Lick it for me, use your tongue...All
over...Lick me, baby girl..."

   I did it, feeling like I was doing it to myself, which was really weird.
My little sex was throbbing and I'd forgotten all about peeing.  I was wet
down there, but it was something else.  I was on fire and my boobs were
growing, my nipples hurt, really hurt a lot, and I wanted to hurt them
back. I wanted to pinch them because that seemed like it would make them
feel better for some reason.  But all I did was hold the woman's legs and I
licked her sex.

   My tongue moved slowly at first, just tentatively in case it was gross.
But it wasn't.  She didn't really taste like very much at all at first, but
then she did.  When the woman moved her hips slightly and my tongue was
inside her, only a fraction of an inch maybe, but inside her and I could
taste her all of a sudden so strong that it made me jerk my head a little.
It was like my tongue was numb almost or burning, like acid from an orange,
or too much soda.  The flavor was tangy and strong and the woman caught me,
pulling my mouth back to her sex.

   "Don't stop...Please...Don't stop..." She was moving a lot now, up and
down, standing tiptoe sometimes and I kept my open mouth on her sex as best
I could, licking and kissing beneath her urgent direction.  I tasted more
of her and there was a lot of juice spilling from between her swollen lips
suddenly, like she'd wet herself and I could feel it oily in my mouth,
mixing with my spit so that I had to swallow it.  She was moaning and then
holding me so tightly that I couldn't breathe.  I just sucked her, so it
was like I had her whole sex in my mouth and she was digging her fingers in
my hair, grinding her pussy against my mouth.

   "I'm cumming...Oh God yessss..." the woman hissed and the sound echoed
through the bathroom.  I was seized with fear as she went stiff, just
freezing for a second and then started moving wildly.  There was a lot of
wetness all pouring from her all at once, a flood of sharp, tangy juices as
her sex took on a new and even stronger flavor, if that was possible.  I
swallowed hard, choking for air as I tried to breathe, and I was hot and
humid and sticky all over.  There aren't any words for it really.  I'd
never had an orgasm in my life and here I was witnessing and swallowing
this stranger's cum, drinking her almost eagerly.

   The woman relaxed her grip on me slowly and it was like she was
shrinking a little, getting smaller as I panted for air.  I was wet, my
whole face covered with the remains of her orgasm.  It had spilled down my
neck, and the collar and front of my blouse was damp and stained.  I
glanced down to see my nipples dark and hard and plainly visible now.  I'd
been sweating and my whole body was sticky and flushed.

   "Ummmpph..." She surprised me when she kissed me.  I hadn't even been
looking at the woman, but her hand was still on my neck and she pulled my
mouth to hers as she bent over.

   I'd never experienced a real kiss before and I was dazzled by the
sensation of her large tongue in my mouth suddenly, wriggling around,
touching and caressing me.  I wouldn't have tried to stop her, even if I
could have.  It was a kiss, a real one, and it was the best thing I'd ever
felt in my life up until then.  I didn't have the wits to kiss her back, or
do anything but sit there shaking with adrenaline.  I was beyond everything
now, guilt and fear, I couldn't even remember those.  I was just there,
just doing what she wanted.

   When she touched my breasts I almost melted, my whole body sagging
against that welcome pressure.  I wanted more and I let her hold me up, her
hand squeezing my tender flesh.  She was kissing my cheeks and chin, and
licking at my face like an animal, tasting herself and then returning to my
mouth to share it with me.  When she moved her hand down, between my legs I
didn't do anything but spread them for her.  She wanted to touch me and I
wanted it too.

   "Your turn, baby...Cum for me..." she was whispering and I nodded, I
think, or something.  Maybe I even tried to say something, but I couldn't
even breathe and she was kissing me hard, her fingers touching my sex,
rubbing my immature pussy lips and playing across my tiny clitoris.

   I was throbbing all over, but especially down there, down between my
legs.  My clit felt huge, like it was ten times bigger than normal, bigger
than me even, bigger than anything anywhere.  It was all I could think
about and I was squirming on the toilet set, kicking a little with my legs
as if I might find some purchase to press my sex harder against the woman
and her wonderful fingers.  She split my labia easily and I realized I was
soaked down there, not just a little wet, but well and truly juiced with
excitement.  I felt her finger curling inside me, moving slowly and
tickling me as it split my virgin sex until I could feel her touching
something else.  It hurt, just a little, like a pinch.

   "Shhh...I'll make it good...I promise..." she whispered after pulling
her wet mouth away from mine.  She was letting us catch our breath for a
moment and her eyes were so blue and bright, even in that dim and dirty
light.  They were like magnets and I stared back until she was kissing me
again, her left arm sliding down my back, pulling me against her body and I
felt that pinch again.  She pushed her finger inside me hard, cupping my
sex in the rest of her hand as if she could lift me from where I sat.  I
felt a flash of pain, just a lightning jolt of fire inside me, and I made a
muffled sobbing sound and then it was gone.  And between my clasping thighs
I felt another throbbing sensation beneath all the others.  Just like that
she'd left me with a sweet ache and a memory of something sharp and
fleeting. 

   The woman didn't move her hand after that, not for a long minute or
maybe two.  She just kept her hand against my pussy, her long thin finger
pressed stiffly inside me.  She'd broken my hymen and taken my virginity so
quickly that I'd barely noticed, and the pain hadn't been so terrible at
all.  It was there, but I still felt good too.  I felt really good and I
was moving against her, rocking my hips and sucking her tongue.  I was
close to something, something big and soft and warm lurking inside me.  It
was trembling in my blood, aching to come out and I groaned into the
woman's mouth as she started moving her hand finally.

   She was coaxing me to cum for her, rubbing my sex gently, moving that
one finger inside me slowly, but deliberately.  She was pressing it here
and there and occasionally it hurt, but mostly it didn't, and I never
wanted it to end.  Never, ever in a million years and especially when I
felt my body surrender finally.  I had my first orgasm; my first cum, like
my body was turned inside out.  I arched my back, pushing down against the
pressure on my sex, moaning and shutting my eyes so tightly that it made me
cry.  I had my arms around the women, I'd been holding her all the while,
but now I was hugging her, clutching at her.  I was rocked with spasms of
pleasure that bewildered my inexperienced body.  My mind was numb and
hopelessly confused.  I was cumming hard and it was beautiful.

   "Are you okay?" the woman was asking me.  She was breathing hard, like I
was, and her pretty face was red and she was smiling.

   "I think so..." I whispered.  My eyes were wet and I stared as she
pulled her hand away from my sex, wincing slightly at a small bit of
discomfort when she eased her finger from my slit.

   "Do you want me to kiss it?" she asked.  She was looking at me and then
she looked at her hand and so did I, both of us seeing small stains of red
blood on her finger.

   "I'm bleeding," I said softly and I looked down, as if I might see
something, but I couldn't.  There were some small drops of blood in the
water beneath me, but not a lot and they were already dissolving away to
pink and then nothing.

   "It's okay, sweetie...You're fine...I'll kiss it...Make it feel
better..." She was kneeling down on the dirty floor, not caring at all that
she was going to be putting her face almost in the toilet bowl.

   I felt a little touch of my fear returning and a lot of the guilt.  The
pleasure was fading, the excitement that had filled me and pushed all of my
doubts away was leaving me.  I wanted to get away suddenly and it seemed
unfair or something.  I'd felt so good, I still felt good, but it was like
panic almost and I had to fight the urge to get up and run.  She was in
front of me, pulling my hips forward, coaxing me to lean back a little. 
She kissed my pussy, gently and softly and her hands were on my leg, on my
tummy, sliding up under my blouse to feel my bare skin.  The woman wanted
to touch me all over, exploring my child-like form with loving fingers that
made me shiver.

   "It's okay...I won't hurt you again..." she was telling me.  "I just
want to make you feel better now..."

   I closed my eyes, not wanting to see her pretty, white face as she
kissed my dark sex.  Her lips were soft and moist, like her breath, and it
did feel good.  I was tense and stiff and I had to remember to breathe, but
it felt nice and I did open my eyes finally.  She was licking and kissing
me, playing with my clitoris and making it throb again.  She was pushing
the tip of her tongue between my lips, inside my pussy just a little,
feeling the tightness there and tasting my recent orgasm tainted with my
virginal blood.

   I swallowed thickly and licked my lips.  They seemed bruised and puffy
from her kisses and my face filled with distress I think, more than
pleasure, but only because I was concentrating so hard.  I wanted to feel
good again, like before, but it was different now.  I couldn't lose the
fear.  I'd done something wrong, I thought, I'd changed and it frightened
me.  I wasn't a virgin anymore.  I didn't know what that meant, it was
impossible to know right then and understand, but I knew it meant
something.

   She kissed my pussy for five minutes, I think, a long time and I felt
warm and my tummy was tight, but I was too scared and maybe she knew it.

   "You're going to be okay, I promise," she told me, kneeling up with her
back straight so that her head was almost level with mine.  "I'm Jennifer,
I'm your friend now, alright?"

   I nodded, but I didn't say anything.  I just watched her eyes, wanting
to believe her, wishing she really could be my friend, but I felt so little
right then.  Or I felt too much and I was numb with confusion.

   Jennifer was between my still spread legs, her arms around my body
loosely, and she pulled me closer, kissing my mouth softly and then
standing up slowly.  I watched her pull up her shorts and she gave me a
last look and a gentle smile before she left the stall, pulling the door
closed behind her.  I listened to her footsteps as she left the bathroom
and when I knew I was alone once more I let out the breath I'd been
holding.

   I reached for the toilet paper, wadding a small handful and dabbing it
against my sex carefully.  I was a little sore, but it wasn't bad.  My
small sex was only tender and a tiny bit of blood stained the toilet paper.
I used more of it, pressing the tissue deeper and finding more blood, but
it was thinned with my sex juices and there wasn't really that much of it
anyway.  Not like I'd imagined there would be.  And I'd been thinking,
trying to understand what we'd done.  It had felt good.  The woman had told
me she was my friend.

   "Jennifer," I said out loud, just a whisper for my own ears and nobody
else.

   I stood on stiff, tingling legs and pulled up my panties carefully.  I
felt my pussy protest inside like I had a sharp cramp when I moved too
quickly.  That could have been in my head though too, since I kind of
wanted it to hurt.  The pain reminded me of her, of the woman, every time I
felt it and I didn't want to lose her.  I mean, I didn't have anything else
but my memory and I already couldn't remember some stuff, especially when
Jennifer had taken my virginity.  It was all like a dream and only that
little bit of pain was real.

   I washed my hands and face in the sink and I thought about her.  I kept
thinking about her and I would be thinking about her.  All that night and
the next day and the day after that.  I'd think about Jennifer until I
could see her again.  I'd talk to her when I saw her again.  I felt stupid
and dumb, like a little kid.  I could have talked to her that very day, but
I hadn't.  I hadn't even told her my name.  I felt my heart being squeezed
and my stomach was hollow.  The air trapped beneath my aching breasts
burned and I had to fight for every shallow breath.  What if I never saw
her again?  I was more frightened by that thought than I was by anything
else.  What we'd done was scary and seeing my blood had seemed terrible at
first, but if I never again saw the woman who had kissed me...

   The thought was unbearable to me, the idea that I wouldn't get to tell
Jennifer my name.  I wanted to talk to her and touch her, just one more
time.  I wanted to say I was sorry because I didn't know what we were doing
or how to do it.  I wanted to promise her that I'd do it better next time.
I wanted to tell her everything.  I wanted to tell her I loved her.  I had
to.

   I looked at my book bag still sitting on the sink and unzipped it,
finding my pen, and I went back into the stall and started writing, "Dear
Jennifer..."  
   the end rache696@yahoo.com 

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