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Subject: {ASSM} Life, Seen from a Motel Room (M solo rom nosex) {song challenge} Stasya T. Canine
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Life, Seen from a Motel Room (M solo rom nosex) {song challenge}
Write a story around a song
----

The song I've chosen is an evocative one...

'Oceans Away', by Roger Daltry.
----

Life, Seen from a Motel Room
------------
Don't wake me up, I should be dreaming.

* * *

When did I learn to hate traveling?

How come I never noticed how stark and bare, how alike all those hotel rooms
really are?

On nights like this one, thousands of miles away from home, wide awake and
staring out the window at a darkness that speaks to the emptiness within, I
think of my wife and know what makes me hate traveling.

Love.

It's been four years and every time we are apart, I feel more alone, more...

Incomplete.

I wish I didn't know she feels the same incompleteness at times like this.

* * *


I don't want to miss one minute of this dream.

* * *

Our meeting was a chance one. We still laugh when we talk about how it
happened.

Her: "I need some help with this if anyone has the time."

Me: "Why not? I'm bored enough to help out."

Three months later we considered ourselves married, and formalized it not
long after we realized how we felt about each other.

Sure, there was some denial at first. I couldn't accept that someone could
mean so much to me, so quickly.

She was patient. She waited me out when I felt trapped, or needed some space.

That phase, that reversion to letting my fears attempt to drive me away from
committing myself, didn't last long.

I gaze out the window, thinking, remembering that it wasn't one-sided. There
were times I was there for her, when she felt it was all going wrong and she
needed someone who meant 'I'll be here' when they said it.

Yes, we've been there for each other.

Always.

And the love just keeps getting stronger, more certain.

We WILL go on for the rest of our lives.

And we will go on together, even when we are apart.

* * *

Don't worry now, 'Cause you're not dreamin'.

* * *

My tears start to flow and I reach, touching the window and feeling its slick
coldness. I ignore that and lean to press my cheek against the glass.

The cold slowly changes, becoming a warmth that flows through me, just as her
touch warms me when we lie together.

Memories supply the fingers, the feathery touch that glides over me and
reminds us both that we really are one person now.

I know she's awake.

Neither one of us dreams now.

I step away and settle on the bed. My hands flow over my body but they aren't
my hands. They are hers, just as I feel my hands stroking her, gently helping
her awaken to a new day.

I see our bedroom. I see her as I lie with her and tease her body alive.

Both of us are fully awake now.

We share the start of a new day in the same way we always do.

So far apart, yet complete, just as I know she feels complete again.

* * *

I'll love you always, wherever you'll be.


* * *

We've talked about how we feel when we are apart like this. There's a hunger
in both of us that refuses to be denied when we see each other again, even if
we've only been apart a day.

Special.

Oh, so special to each other. How did we manage so long, without each other?

So few years, but it feels like I've known her, been in love with her, all my
life.

My life... our lives, began when we met.

It's so simple to say.

Yet it's so complex to feel--and know.

* * *

Oceans away, go where you may
And love will be with you, oceans away
And love will be with you, oceans away


* * *

I lie here, aware of only one thing, my love for her. I know I'm in another
hotel room. I know I can't touch her. I can't feel her next to me.

It doesn't matter.

She's there anyway, her warmth keeping the darkness at bay. Her love for me,
for who we are together, is all that keeps me from quitting and running away
from this job.

We hurt.

Oh, how we hurt when I have to travel.

But we've already survived worse than this. We know we can go on.

We know we will always be together in a way the miles and days can't take
away.

In all the transience in so many things, we found stability.

We rediscovered love.

* * *

The night is cold, but day is certain.

* * *

Oh, how I know those long cold nights. I remember too well the fear, the
despair that would seek to shatter my soul.

Mostly, I survived.

Survived, yes, but the price I paid, and paid again and again, left me
scarred deeply.

She changed that.

I shiver when I remember the tears she shed when she learned about the price
I paid so many times, just to be myself.

She gathered me into her arms and said 'Give me your pain. ALL of it. Let me
be strong for you while you heal.'

And she did it, not once, but many times, until I returned to being the man I
should have always been.

Certain of her love for me?

Of course I am.

I am just as certain of my love for her.

We both know it with a sureness that can question the truth of our love and
always hear the answer that never needs to be said, but is spoken anyway.

* * *

No twilight zone can last very long.

* * *

During the first wondering months we both had our fears. We shared them, no
matter how much they hurt us.

We started with trust, and kept trusting each other, ourselves.

To our friends, sometimes we seem brutal, uncaringly honest. Yet, that very
honesty is what we need between us to keep us together.

Great love, and great pain.

It's the love that gives us the knowledge that we will be together, always.

* * *

Darkness my friend, I'll hide in your curtain.

* * *

The lonely cry of who I used to be no longer taps me on the shoulder and
whispers in my ear that 'this love, too, shall pass'.

I no longer huddle, looking inward, convinced I shall never find someone who
cares for me, as I am. I no longer hide from the world, secure in my
untouchableness, content to live untouched and untouching.

Now, I reach out to touch others, yes, sometimes with fear, but always with
the certain knowledge that even on those darkest of nights, when I hurt the
most, I can blindly reach in one direction and find the center of my soul.

Once my center is found, I become whole again, complete and once again secure
enough to reach out again, no matter how much pain I might get in return.

Darkness, once my truest friend, is now something I reject.

I hear its siren song...

And ignore it at long last,

In favor of her love.

* * *

If you're not here with me, please let me dream on.

* * *

Dream?

I see no need to dream, now.

I know.

I remember.

What need do I have of dreams, when I have reality?

Her touch, easily remembered, is what lets me sleep at last, when I am far
from home.

I fall asleep feeling her presence beside me.

I hear her voice whispering in my ear.

I speak the words aloud, now, and I know she speaks them with me.

"I love you, MY miracle."

* * *

Oceans away, go where you may.
And love will be with you, oceans away.
Love will be with you, oceans away.

* * *
Thousands of miles between us.

Hours, days, or weeks spent alone until we are together again.

We are one.

Joy. Pain.

Shared, ALL of it.

Love.

* * *

Oceans away, go where you may.
Love will be with you, oceans away.

Love will be with you, oceans away.

* * *


I'll be home again, my love.

Of that, WE will never doubt.
__________________
"There are two major problems with winning all the time: 'You never know if
you are doing your best' and 'you never have a chance to learn your limits'.
The first leads to laziness and the second discourages growth." 

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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