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From: rache <rache696@yahoo.com>
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Subject: {ASSM} Reason Until After (pt.5) by Rachael Ross (fff/m, teen, romance, reluctant, oral, cd, cheerleaders, angst)
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Reason Until After
copyright 2008 Rachael Ross for BFG Productions in association with
Severe Discipline LTD rache696@yahoo.com	http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/rache/www/index.htm
This story has been partitioned into five installments for ease of
posting and you really should read them in sequence. Please see Part
One for story codes and synopsis. Thanks - rr  Manila 053108

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Reason Until After
by
rache

Part Five


"Hi, mom?" I said over the phone in Tori's bedroom. "I'm, uh...I was
wondering if it's okay if I can hang out with some friends of mine
tonight?"

"Ask her if you can sleep over!" Tori giggled and Sonja frowned at the
girl.

"Shhh!" Sonja put her finger to her lips.

"Huh? Oh, I'm at Tori's house...Yeah, from school...She's a cheerleader..."
I made a face and it was kind of hard to concentrate because Petra was
rubbing some baby oil on my balls.

"Uhhh ah...Yeah! I know...You don't know her, but..." I closed my eyes and
Petra had my nuts in her hands, her warm, gentle hands.

My pubic hair was long gone already, Tori had shaved me smooth, and
now my skin was pink and soft, like I was brand new down there. The
baby oil felt good too, like it was hot almost, and Petra knew how to
massage a boy's balls, that was for sure. She'd obviously done this
before! Petra held my nuts in her right hand, kind of rolling them
around like marbles, squeezing them carefully and maybe giving my sack
a little tug every now and then. It was crazy how good that felt!

"You're so pretty," Petra said softly and I shivered, turning my head
away as if that might keep my mom from hearing what the girl was
saying. "Dan's gonna love your balls!"

"Petra!" Sonja whispered. "Shush! He's talking to his mom!"

"W-What mom?" I sorta gasped. "Yeah uh...She's here...Oh...You want to talk
to her?"

"She wants to talk to me?" Tori blinked at that and I covered the
mouthpiece.

"She wants to talk to your mom!" I whispered.

"My mom?" Tori almost laughed, but it wasn't funny. Her mom was in
Hawaii with her dad, gone for a week to celebrate their twenty-fifth
anniversary.

"Uh...Hold on a sec, mom," I said, "Tori's, um, getting her."

"What are we gonna do?" I frowned, because this wasn't gonna be good
at all! Once mom found out that Tori's parents weren't home, she'd
never let me stay over. Mom had rules about this sort of thing and
even though I was sixteen, I still had to live by them.

"Here," Sonja said and I stared at her. "Give me the phone."

"What? What are you gonna say?" I asked and Sonja just shrugged and
Petra laughed, giving my balls another pull and that made my erection
jerk upward for some reason. Petra thought that was really cool.

I was standing in Tori's bedroom, naked as a jaybird, with my swollen
cock sticking straight out. I was covered with baby oil, my dick and
balls, and all around them. Petra had even oiled my butt, a little,
just rubbing her fingers around my anus and between my buns. I'd been
worried that she'd try and stick her finger in my ass, but she didn't.
Petra just teased me with her fingertip mostly and it had felt kinda
good, in a confusing sort of way. I'd never thought having my butt
played with would be cool.

The girls were kind of naked too. Mostly naked, I mean. Tori, the
sweet little red headed girl, was just wearing a thin bathrobe, green
like her eyes and falling open everytime she moved. Petra was wearing
Tori's sleepy-T with Minnie Mouse on it. It was probably big on Tori,
but Petra was tall and her tits were a size or two bigger, and that t-
shirt barely covered her perfectly heart-shaped ass when Petra stood
up. Sitting on the floor in front of me, it rode up the girl's thighs
and I could see her bald pussy. All the girls were shaved down there,
which was why they'd shaved me. It was an initiation rite, Tori had
said, and it was a small price to pay for being in their little club.

Now Sonja, wearing just her pink panties, was taking the phone out of
my hand. While Petra was tall and dark, with black hair, brown eyes
and an olive complexion that made you think of someplace far away and
exotic in the Mediterranean, Sonja was tall and light. Her hair was
blonde and long like mine, pretty wild too after having a good hour of
girl fun with Petra. She had pale skin, like Tori's, but Sonja was
like five foot ten, I bet, with one of those perfect bodies. Not thin,
not fat, she was curvy and soft and her tits...Just like I'd always
imagined they'd be! They weren't large, but firm with bubble gum
nipples that pointed out and up and...

"Hi, Mrs. Collins? I'm Jackie Westerlund, Tori's mom..." Sonja said and
I blinked because she did kinda sound like a mom. "...I understand
completely, we can't be too careful these days..."

Petra was practically turning red as she covered her mouth, stifling
her laughter. I just stared at Sonja and Tori was grinning at me and
nodding, like she'd known Sonja could pull it off the whole time.

"No, it's fine, Ashley's a very sweet boy...I know he is and I'm sure
he'll behave himself..." Sonja smiled at me, lifting her eyebrows
playfully. "...Well, Tori is having some friends over tonight, some kids
from school and we were hoping Ashley could stay...Oh, don't worry, my
husband and I will be here all night..."

"See?" Tori whispered. "We're gonna have so much fun, Ash!"

"Shhh..." It was my turn to shush her and my heart was going a mile a
minute listening to Sonja talk to my mom. I didn't like lying to her,
but this was kind of important, you know? I had to stay!

"That's great...Yes, it was so nice talking to you too...He's right here.
Okay...Goodbye..." Sonja held the phone out for me. "Your mom wants to
talk to you again."

"Uhhh...Mom?" I said, trying to ignore Sonja as she stood close to me
now, reaching down to take my cock in her hand. She was jerking me off
slowly, smiling into my eyes while I spoke with my mom.

"Yeah, you're going to be a good boy, Ashley..." Sonja whispered and my
cock might not have been very big compared to her boyfriend's, but I
doubt that guy had ever gotten as hard as I was right then.

"Y-Yessss...I'll be good..." I swallowed hard, pushing out with my hips
just because it felt too good not to. Sonja was sliding her fist back
and forth around my oily cock, rubbing her thumb over the head and
making me stand on my tip-toes.

"Make him cum while he talks to his mom!" Petra whispered from the
floor. She was laying flat on her back now, legs spread with her dark
pussy plainly exposed so she could rub it with her fingers.

"No...Uh! Mom? What...Oh! I'll call later..." I closed my eyes, trying not
to think about what Sonja's hand was doing to my cock. She wasn't just
stroking it though; she was squeezing it too, like milking me for the
sperm boiling in my balls. I felt my tummy knotting up and I shook
with the effort of controlling myself.

"He's gonna cum!" Sonja giggled softly, using her other hand now to
hold my balls, massaging them much like Petra had done before.

"I don't kno-oh! I'm...I got the hiccups...Uh!" I gasped and I seriously
doubted it sounded like a hiccup at all.

Sonja had slipped her left hand lower, her fingers between my thighs
and suddenly shoved her middle finger in my ass! I felt a split second
of discomfort and then she was inside me, her long slender finger
pushing into my rectum easily with her palm pressed against my balls.
It seemed like she was trying to lift me up with that one hand and I
groaned as the girl wiggled her finger around, exploring the tight
confines of my ass. Sonja didn't stop jerking me off either, she
worked my cock hard and fast with her right hand, trying to bring me
off before the conversation with my mom was over. I'd never felt
anything like this before and I only lasted about three seconds!

"God!" Tori gave a gasp of her own as my cock jumped in Sonja's fist,
the first spurt of cum shooting out far enough to splash against the
blonde's flat stomach.

I was spraying my sperm on Sonja's tummy and she didn't care at all,
if anything the girl got even closer to me than she already was. She
was pressing my dick against her panties, those silky pink ones that
barely covered her perfect pussy. I was spilling my orgasm on the
hottest girl in school, and Sonja rubbed the head of my cock all
around her barely covered mound, deliberately spreading that sticky
semen until she had a big dark stain of it over her pussy.

"Oh...I gotta go, mom..." I breathed. "...yeah, I love you too." I turned
off the phone and my whole body just went slack, like I was gong to
collapse. "Oh God!"

"What did your mom say?" Tori asked me and I just grinned at her.

"That was so cool!" Petra was grinning too. "Jerking Ashley off while
he talked to his mom. You're kinda sick, Sonja!"

"So?" Sonja laughed and stuck out her tongue. "I like it. Ashley liked
it too, didn't you?"

"Yeah," I giggled. "My mom asked me if I was feeling okay."

"She told me I have to make sure you behave yourself," Sonja said,
letting go of my cock finally. I was soft again and messy with cum.
Sonja was messy too, with sperm clinging to her skin and especially
those pink panties she wore.

"No more jerking off though," Tori said. "You gotta save some energy
for Dan!"

"No doubt," Petra agreed. "He's gonna be disappointed if Ashley's too
tired to fuck."

"Oh, I don't think..." I started protesting because being worn out by
these three girls sounded like a pretty fine idea to me.

"I know, you're never too tired to fuck Dan," Petra said and that
hadn't been what I was gonna say at all. "But that's enough girl fun
anyway."

"Yeah, we gotta get ready for the party," Tori agreed. "We gotta get
Ashley ready too!"

"You have to look nice for Dan," Sonja said. "When he gets here, I
wanna see his eyes pop out of his head!"

"Definitely," Tori agreed. "If you're gonna be the quarterback's
girlfriend, you have to be hot!"

"Really hot!" Petra grinned. "All the guys are gonna want to fuck
you!"

"But don't let them!" Tori giggled.

"Oh no," I frowned.

"What?" Sonja narrowed her eyes, perhaps thinking I was going to try
and resist their plans again.

"I forgot," I said. "Dan's supposed to pick me up at my house
tonight."

"What? So?" Petra laughed. "Call him!"

"I don't know his phone number," I frowned.

"Don't worry, I do," Tori said and I looked at her. "Don't get
jealous! God! I'm not like stealing him!"

"Huh? Oh..." I shook my head and I hadn't been thinking that at all.

"I got his number when I invited him, in case of an emergency," Tori
explained.

"Like this one!" Petra laughed.

I smiled and I guess I should have been relieved, since Dan showing up
at my door would have been sorta bad. If I was there I could just say
we were gonna hang out or whatever, but by himself? Dan could say
anything! He'd probably start telling my dad how much he loved me or
something and that would be like the end of the world. Yeah, this was
definitely an emergency, I thought.

On the other hand, I really did want to protest the idea of dressing
me up pretty for my big date. I knew what the girls had in mind;
they'd been talking about it off and on all afternoon. A little
makeup, a little hair styling, and Tori's spare cheerleader uniform...
Yikes! Everytime I tried to tell them I wasn't gay they just assumed I
meant I wanted to be a girl and didn't think of myself as a boy. It
was crazy and I couldn't understand why the girls wouldn't just listen
and take my words literally.

In the end I really didn't have much choice. I wanted to be with these
girls more than anything. They were insanely fun, outrageously sexy,
and living on some other planet so far as I could tell. They were
aliens and I'd been abducted, that's how it felt. I just couldn't say
no to them, that was the bottom line. I might hem and haw and try to
make my weak excuses, but none of it worked. Life hadn't prepared for
girls like this and I suppose I should have been happy about that, but
I was actually starting to worry.

"...so the first time, I was just a kid, you know?" Petra was giving me
a pedicure, filing my toenails and planning to paint them pink. "It
hurt a lot too. I mean Todd has a really big dick. Not thick or
anything, but long, you know?"

"Uh-huh," I nodded.

"He got me really wet though, so that was cool," Petra shrugged. "And
we were on that couch downstairs, the one in Tori's rec room? You'll
see it; anyway, I was laying there, feeling all dizzy cause Todd made
me cum already, which was way nice."

"You bite your fingernails, huh?" Sonja frowned and I looked at her.
"You can't do that anymore! It looks bad."

She was giving me a manicure, her and Tori both. Sonja had my right
hand and she was trying to give my short nails some shape. They were
going to be pink too and I'd tried to talk the girls out of that and
I'd almost succeeded, except Tori was all out of clear fingernail
polish and so we had to use a real color. Like pink. That was the way
my luck was going, hot and cold.

"Todd got between my legs, and...I mean, I didn't really know what was
going on at first. He was kissing me and telling me he loved me..."

"They all say that," Tori told me. "Don't believe a word of it!"

"Boys lie," Sonja agreed and I swallowed hard.

"...and he was rubbing his cock up and down my pussy, you know? Just
rubbing it slowly, making it feel good. God! That felt really good too
and then he started pushing his dick inside me, really slow. Todd
knows how to fuck, believe me, you should try him, Ashley."

"No you shouldn't!" Sonja shook her blonde head.

"Don't even talk to my brother," Tori nodded. "He's a slut."

"He put just the tip in at first and I was scared, but it felt okay,
and then he pushed a little harder and a little deeper, just the head
mostly, I think. He found my cherry right away, it wasn't very deep or
anything, and that was like a pinch, sorta. A cramp, you know? Cause
he was pushing and I wanted him to stop, but I didn't say anything. I
just closed my eyes and then he did it."

"He did?" I looked at her and Petra giggled.

"He pushed really hard and that hurt a lot! God! I thought he was
killing me. I was slapping his shoulders and telling him to stop..."

"You were thirteen, what did you expect?" Sonja rolled her eyes.

"She's still thirteen," Tori giggled.

"...But he didn't stop. He just kissed me and pushed really hard and
that was it," Petra said. "He got all the way in me and I cried a lot,
but I liked it too. I knew he loved me back cause he was doing it. He
was making me into a woman."

"See? I told you my brother was an asshole," Tori shook her head.

"He is not," Petra frowned.

"Tell Ashley the rest of the story then," Tori said. "About how Todd
wouldn't even talk to you for a week afterwards and when he did, all
he said was..."

"He couldn't see me cause I was too young," Petra said. "He said he
had a girlfriend and maybe when I was older, you know...We'd be together
and everything."

"Yeah, and then you got older," Sonja laughed. "And older and...Shit,
you're gonna be eighteen in January."

"Oh, be quiet!" Petra said. "He's gonna love me someday, you'll see."

"You're so hopeless Petra," Sonja sighed. "He just wanted to fuck you.
He said whatever he had to and you believed him. You gotta grow up,
girl."

"Yeah, maybe," Petra didn't look up and I felt kind of sorry for her.
She was so pretty though, I figured this Todd guy must be a serious
idiot.

"It hurt the first time for me too," Tori said, deciding to change the
subject.

"It always hurts for you!" Sonja laughed.

"Yeah, well, I like that," Tori looked up from my fingers with a grin.
"It doesn't really hurt anyway, I just have to get used to it
everytime."

"How old were you?" I wondered.

"I was sixteen," Tori said. "You remember Dale Winters? That's the
guy, he was like my first boyfriend, except not really. We didn't go
out or anything, we just kinda hooked up sometimes."

"Hooked up?" I grinned at her. "Like what? Just meet so you guys could
have sex?"

"No, not like that," Tori smiled. "Like I'd go to a party and see him
there and we'd just...Hook up!"

"He was fat too!" Petra said. "Tori's got serious size issues."

"I do," Tori wiggled her eyebrows at me. "I like big guys cause I'm so
little."

"Yeah, I know how that feels," I said, meaning the being little part,
but they took it wrong, as usual.

"Yeah, you like big guys too, huh?" Tori nodded at me. "You'd like
Mike then. God! His cock is so thick, it's like everytime we do it I'm
a virgin again. I love that."

"Well, I don't know..." I cleared my throat.

"Anyway, the first time I did it with Dale, I was on top..."

"As usual," Sonja giggled.

"...And I swear, it took like half an hour to get his cock inside me. He
kept saying it wasn't gonna fit, but I just pushed down a little and
then I'd lift up and take a deep breath..."

"The little engine that could," Petra giggled. "I think I can! I think
I can!"

"Heh!" Tori grinned at her friend. "Yeah, just like that! But once he
was in me that's when I came. I mean it hurt, yeah, he broke my cherry
good, but it wasn't like I was screaming or crying or whatever. I
liked that part of it, like I'd never forget how it felt, you know?"

"You wanted it to hurt?" I asked.

"Oh yeah! He thought I was too small, like I was just a little girl or
something. I thought I was too small too for awhile there, but I
wasn't!" Tori said proudly. "I fucked him, he didn't fuck me. I gave
him my cherry cause I wanted to, Dale didn't take it from me."

"Oh," I nodded and I didn't totally understand the difference, but
Tori did and that was all that mattered.

"It didn't hurt at all my first time," Sonja said. "It just felt good
mostly."

"That's cause he had a little dick!" Petra laughed and Tori was
nodding.

"He did not! It was average sized," Sonja protested. "Anyway, I don't
need a big fat cock anyway, I need the guy it belongs too, you know?"

"Her first time wasn't even with a guy," Tori said. "Don't listen to
her. It didn't hurt cause she wasn't a virgin."

"And the guy had a little dick," Petra grinned at me.

"Who was your first time with?" I asked. "I mean when you were a
virgin."

"One of my camp counselors," Sonja giggled. "Her name was Cindy and
she was so cool."

"A camp counselor?" I grinned at the girl. "What camp was this?"

"Camp Iwannafuck!" Petra laughed.

"Shut-up!" Sonja laughed too. "No, it was a YWCA summer camp thing
when I was fourteen. I used to go every summer, that was my last one.
It was fun, you know, we went swimming and hiking and made crafts and
stuff."

"Yeah, I went to camp before," I nodded.

"Cindy popped her cherry," Tori said. "Wouldn't that be weird? Giving
your virginity to some girl?"

"Well..." I grinned cause Tori had taken my virginity, except she didn't
think of it like that.

"It wasn't weird at all," Sonja said. "It was perfect. We were on a
hike and me and Cindy were in the back and walking slow cause we were
talking. Eventually, everyone else was way ahead of us and we were
alone, so we sat down in this meadow, you know; it was beautiful and
up in the hills..."

"Then Cindy started singing the Sound of Music and it was all over but
the crying!" Petra giggled.

"And there wasn't a whole lot of that either!" Tori laughed and they
gave each other a high five.

"Yeah, yeah..." Sonja blushed a little. "...No, she just...Kissed me. I
wanted her to, I mean I was waiting for it and looking at her. She
kissed me and we just tried everything together."

"Sonja ate her pussy!" Petra nodded happily. "She's good at that!"

"So?" Sonja shrugged. "I licked her pussy, yeah. Cindy licked mine
too, we didn't know what we were doing, at least I didn't, but it
seemed like the right thing to do, so I did it."

"She's got 69 tattooed on her thigh too," Pera said.

"I do not!" Sonja frowned. "It was a ying-yang thing, one of those
costume tattoos. It only lasted a week."

"Too bad you don't have a pussy, Ashley," Tori said. "Sonja would go
down on you for an hour, I bet!"

"It looked like a 69 thing," Petra said, but Soja was ignoring her.

"I'd go down on her for two hours," Sonja stuck her tongue out. "At
least! Ashley's hot!"

"So, you're a lesbian or something?" I asked slowly, hoping it
wouldn't make her mad.

"Me?" Sonja giggled. "No, I just like girls."

"A lot!" Petra said.

"Yeah, I like girls a lot," Sonja agreed. "But I like guys too, so I
don't know. Bisexual, I guess. A lot of people are. You are too,
right? I mean you love guys like Dan, but girls are okay sometimes,
right?"

"Uh, I guess so," I said, resigned to the fact that I wasn't going to
change their minds about my sexuality.

"Tell Ashley how she popped your cherry," Tori said.

"What? She just used her finger," Sonja shrugged. "My hymen was right
there, you know it isn't like all the way inside a girl. It's kinda
close to the front usually, so we were making out, seriously making
out, and Cindy had her fingers on my pussy...And then one went in my
pussy...and then *POP* I felt a little stretch maybe and it was done. It
didn't hurt or anything."

"Were you bleeding?" Petra wondered.

"A little, but I didn't even notice until later when I saw some
spotting on my panties," Sonja said. "At the time, I didn't even know
she'd done it. I thought I was still a virgin until we got back to the
camp."

"That musta been weird," Tori decided.

"Kinda, yeah," Sonja said. "I found Cindy and told her I was bleeding.
I was just fourteen though, like barely fourteen, so I made it sound
like I was dying. She looked at me and it wasn't anything and I felt
pretty dumb after that."

"Did you keep seeing her?" I asked. "After the first time?"

"Oh yeah, like only everyday!" Sonja giggled. "All I wanted to do was
make out with her after that. But like two weeks later camp was over
anyway. We had each other's addresses and wrote a couple letters, like
love letters, you know, but I never saw her again."

"That's kinda sad," I frowned.

"A little maybe," Sonja shrugged. "I had a crush on her, I guess, but
I knew I didn't love her. I wasn't gonna marry her. It was okay, as
soon as I got home I made out with Petra anyway."

"God!" Petra laughed. "Just out me!"

"Yeah right," Sonja giggled. "Petra's not into girls at all."

"You're not?" I looked at the dark haired girl. "But you guys were,
um, you know...On the bed..."

Sonja and Petra had been fucking for an hour on the bed while Tori
took care of me in the bathroom.

"I'm just into Sonja," Petra said seriously. "And Tori too, except she
likes to bite too hard!"

"Tell me about it!" I said, looking down at my swollen nipples, puffy
and darkly bruised by Tori's loving attentions in the bathtub.

"Hey!" Tori frowned. "It felt good, right?"

"Yeah, right! Sure!" I rolled my eyes and the girls laughed.

"Well, so what? You have pretty tits now, so don't complain!" Tori
said and she was painting my fingernails pink.

"I'm not!" I said. "I loved it."

"Really?" she looked at me and I nodded.

"Yeah, it was pretty awesome, Tori," I told her seriously and that
made the girl smile.

"See? Ashley likes it!" Tori made a face at Petra and then looked at
me. "We're gonna have a lot of fun this year, Ashley. Sonja and Petra
are always girl fucking, now I have somebody to fuck too!"

"Ashley and Tori, sitting in a tree..." Sonja started singing.

"Eff you see kay I en gee!" Petra giggled. "Tori's always fucking us
too, don't believe her."

"She's greedy!" Sonja grinned. "It's that whole thick cock, big fat
guy, biting vampire thing."

"What?" Tori laughed. "What does that mean?"

"Are you done with that polish yet?" Petra asked. "You're so slow,
Tori!"

"Yeah, yeah...Almost," the red head sighed. "They're always picking on
me."

"It's cause you're so little," Sonja giggled.

"See?" Tori smiled at me. "They'll pick on you too, believe me. Tall
people are bullies."

"Hmmm..." I smiled, thinking I wouldn't mind at all being picked on by
Sonja and Petra. There were worse things in life that could happen.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

We had microwave lasagna for dinner and it was weird for a lot of
reasons. First off, none of us were dressed any more than we'd been up
in Tori's bedroom, except I was wearing a pair of Tori's shorts. They
were cutoffs with frayed edges and dyed pink. They fit me pretty good,
actually, and I'm not kidding when I say Tori and me were the same
size. Her hips were a little wider and obviously she had those
wonderfully small, firm tits, but we were almost exactly the same
height and close to the same weight.

So eating dinner with three mostly naked cheerleaders was weird.
Wearing a pair of girl's shorts was weird. Everytime I noticed my
hands I paused because I now had a real manicure to go with my
pedicure. Pink fingernails. It's amazing how just that could make my
hands look so...Feminine. I had girl hands, no doubt about it. Delicate
and small. They freaked me out a little. So did my feet, but I didn't
have to look at my girlish toes very much.

Another thing that was strange was my hair. I was wearing curlers,
like old fashioned grandma curlers. I'd really, really tried to get
them to leave my hair alone, but my three new friends were determined
to make me beautiful. My boring old straight hair was to be replaced
with thick, bouncy, wavy hair...But still blonde at least. They'd
decided they didn't need to change that part of me. Curlers are
uncomfortable, I'll tell you. They were tight in my hair, so it felt
like I had ten people pulling my hair in every possible direction.
That was seriously annoying at first, but I guess I got used to it.

Dinner, if my friends had their way, would be the last time I even
remotely felt like a boy. For the evening, I mean, not forever. The
truth was that it was awfully tough to feel like a boy as it was. I'd
already been changed.

"Shoot, the guys are gonna be here pretty soon," Tori was looking at
the wall clock in her kitchen. We were cleaning up after dinner.

"I'm surprised they're not here already," Petra said.

"They had a long practice today, I bet," Sonja said. "Coach thinks if
he works them extra hard, the guys will be too tired to party all
night."

"Yeah, right," Petra grinned. "He could work them til sunrise and
they'd want beer for breakfast."

"The guys are coming soon?" I asked.

"Our boyfriends, yeah," Petra nodded. "They're bringing the kegs and
food and I dunno...Kegs and food."

"Don't worry, they won't see you like that!" Tori grinned at me,
thinking that's why I was nervous probably.

"Oh, I know, yeah..." I swallowed hard.

I was nervous because I didn't really want any guys to see me at all.
Not like this, not dressed up, not anything. I was wearing pink
fingernail polish! I'd known the party was coming but I hadn't really
believed it, you know? I'd been in denial or something and now I was
starting to understand that all the fun I'd had that afternoon was
going to come at a price. I had to be the girl Tori and her friends
wanted me to be and I could do it, so long as it was just the four us...
But a party? Every jock in school was coming! I was gonna be dead! How
could I have been so stupid?

There wasn't any way out either.

"Wow! Look at you!" Tori was standing behind me as we sat in front of
her dresser, using it like a vanity.

"Uh..." I stared at myself, at my hair especially. Tori had taken out
the curlers and now she was brushing my hair. It was thick and wavy
and yeah, it was bouncy too. She brushed it back from my forehead and
down to a few inches below my shoulders. It was nice hair and it had
been nice before, everyone liked it, but it had looked like long
blonde boy hair. This was definitely girl hair.

"I love your hair," Tori said. "Red hair sucks, it gets all frizzy and
goes everywhere. Your hair is perfect."

"It looks a lot different, doesn't it?" I said and Tori was pinning it
back so it would stay out of my face.

"Do you know how to do makeup?" Tori asked and I made a face. "I
didn't think so. Okay, I'm gonna show you..."

While Tori made up my face, Petra and Sonja were taking showers, or a
shower, since they were in there together. I would have liked to have
seen that, actually. They were going to get changed and dressed and
ready for the party, put their boyfriends to work downstairs and all
that. Tori would get ready after she was done getting me ready, and
then I was supposed to hang out and wait for Dan, so I could surprise
him, along with everyone else of course. The girls were really excited
about that for some reason. Maybe it's a girl thing, I'm not sure, but
I thought it was probably just them. My new friends were definitely
out there in space somewhere.

"See? You have one of those less-is-more faces, Ashley," Tori was
saying and she'd finished my face. "That's perfect. Covergirl!"

I still looked like me. A little azure eye shadow and some pink
lipstick wasn't going to change that. I had a little bit of coloring
on my cheeks, some light pink highlights there that you couldn't even
see, except it made my cheeks a little...more...somehow. I don't know. It
wasn't a drastic change. I wasn't magically transformed into a
supermodel. I was still me and I was still pretty and the makeup
really was perfect. I looked like a girl.

I mean I looked like a boy because I saw myself, but someone who'd
never seen me before, never met me, they would think I was a girl. The
hair did it as much as the makeup. My manicure too. But those things
were just window dressing and if I hadn't already looked like I did,
none of it would have worked. I'd have looked stupid probably, like
one of those female impersonators you see on television. Girls who are
obviously boys, but that wasn't me and I found it made me very
uncomfortable suddenly.

"Ashley?" Sonja was looking at my reflection and her smile could have
lit up California. "Oh my God!"

"Pretty good, huh?" Tori was understandably proud.

I didn't say anything; I just really wanted to understand why this was
working. I hadn't considered it before, how good or bad I would look.
Maybe I'd assumed it wouldn't work at all. I know I hadn't expected it
to work this well. I remember a teacher told me once that every
experience tells us something, everything we see and do and hear, it
reveals something about ourselves as much as it does the world around
us. I wasn't sure I believed him at the time, but now I did.

I was learning that I wasn't supposed to be a boy. That was the lesson
in the mirror and it scared me. I started to doubt who I was.

"Let me see," Petra said, coming into the room and she was fully
dressed like Sonja was, both of them wearing their blue and gold
cheerleading uniforms.

"Better lock up your boyfriend, Petra," Tori grinned.

"No shit!" Petra stared at me and then grinned big. "I knew you were
gonna be hot! Didn't I say that? Ashley's gonna be hot, that's what I
said...Jesus Christ, I hate being right all the time!"

The attention was making me blush, but mostly I wanted to go home just
then. I wanted to wash my face and hair and get that nail polish off
and just lay down and think and be alone. I wasn't a girl, I knew
that. So why did I look like one? Even without all the makeup, I knew.
I'd always known, my parents too. My dad loved me, but I wasn't ever
his son. Not really. Mom talked to me like I was her daughter. She
hadn't even batted an eye when she saw me flirting with Dan, she just...

Flirting with Dan. I closed my eyes and it felt like I was gonna cry.
That would have been just too perfect.

"What's wrong?" Tori asked me. "You don't like it?"

"Are you okay, Ashley?" Sonja touched my shoulder.

"I look like a girl," I said, swallowing hard and trying not to sound
as frightened as I felt.

"Well..." Tori looked a little confused, "...You are a girl."

"No," I shook my head. "I'm supposed to be a boy."

"You think Dan won't like you now?" Petra asked, missing the point
entirely, I thought.

"I don't know," I sighed and I knew there wasn't anything I could say
to make my friends understand what I was feeling. I didn't even know
what I was feeling, except like I'd been betrayed somehow. By God or
Fate...Somebody. My parents? Me? Had I done it to myself?

"You're scared, huh?" Sonja asked me and I looked up at her.

"Dan's not going to dump her," Petra said, but Sonja ignored her.

"You didn't know you looked like this, did you?" Sonja was looking
into my eyes. "This is how we all see you, all the time, Ash. You're
always beautiful, don't you know that?"

"No," I blinked rapidly.

"You just never noticed before, that's all." Sonja smiled. "All your
friends, the kids at school, they never noticed either because they
see you every day. They grew up with you."

"I don't know..." I shook my head.

"Dan never saw you before in his life and this is what you look like
to him," she nodded towards my reflection.

"I don't think he was gay until he met you, Ashley," Tori laughed
lightly and I blushed at that.

"And now you see yourself and you're scared because this isn't who you
thought you were," Sonja continued. "You wonder if you're still the
same, if you'll have the same friends, if your parents will still love
you."

"Yeah," I agreed. "Something like that...I guess."

"They will," Tori said. "Parents are weird that way."

"Shut-up!" Petra laughed and that made me smile.

"What you have to remember is that we all went through this," Sonja
told me. "Well, not exactly this, but we all had to grow up. We were
all sixteen and changing from kids into adults..."

"Except for Tori, she's still trying to grow," Petra said, earning a
little shove from her friend.

"...None of us were happy about it; all of us were scared sometimes,"
Sonja said. "We know how you feel, Ashley, believe me. The changes
you're going through are just a little more drastic and now you're
seeing them all at once instead of a little at a time, that's all."

"What if I'm not happy being a...a girl?" I wondered.

"Then you figure it out," Sonja shrugged. "That's what's really
scaring you, isn't it? That if you accept this, if you really give in
to being a girl, you might not like it?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "I think so...Maybe." But what if I did like it? That
was even worse.

"All you can do is try it," Sonja said. "You won't know for sure until
you do it and if you never know, I don't think you'll ever be happy."

"Yeah," I took a deep breath, trying to be brave and tired of the
worrying. "That makes sense."

"So what's going on?" Petra wondered. "Are you gonna be at the party
or what do you want to do?"

"I'll try it," I said slowly. "I'm just...God, what if I'm wrong? I
mean, what if...I don't know."

"It's hard, isn't it?" Sonja smiled. "I know. But hey, we're gonna be
here. Dan's going to be here. Nobody is going to laugh at you, I
promise."

"That's a fact!" Petra agreed.

"You'll be okay," Tori said. "We're gonna make you a cheerleader,
right? Everybody loves cheerleaders."

"Yeah," I laughed and tried to push my fear away, hoping I knew what I
was doing and knowing I didn't.

"Ashley," Sonja touched my face. "Whatever happens, we'll always be
friends, okay?"

"Yeah, all of us," Petra nodded.

"I wanna be your best friend," Tori said and her green eyes were
bright and serious. "Or one of them anyway, okay?"

"Yeah," I smiled and I was crying then, just a little. Not cause I was
a girl, but just...The confusion and doubt and fear wouldn't stay in.
I wanted this all to be over, one way or the other.

"Don't do that!" Tori giggled. "See, now I have to fix it again."

"Sorry," I giggled too and just then the doorbell was ringing, like
thirty times really fast.

"You're gonna make me late for my own party," Tori rolled her eyes as
Sonja kissed my cheek and Petra was already on her way downstairs,
yelling for whoever it was to relax or she'd kill him.

Tori fixed my makeup again and that didn't take long. We didn't say
anything, just listened to the muffled voices coming from downstairs.
Petra was taking charge and it was kind of funny.

"Sonja's pretty smart, isn't she?" I said.

"Yeah," Tori nodded and she was getting her spare cheerleading uniform
out of her closet. She had two of them. "She pretends like she isn't
just because everyone assumes she's a dumb blonde cheerleader, but she
doesn't get straight A's just cause of Coach, believe me. I've known
her since I was six and she always got good grades."

"Why does she pretend?" I wondered.

"I dunno. Cause nobody wants a smart cheerleader?" Tori giggled. "Ask
her. I think it's cause she likes the lifestyle, you know. All the
fun, none of the responsibility. All we do everyday is nothing."

"Heh!" I grinned at Tori cause she was just poking fun at herself then
and I got the feeling she wasn't very dumb either.

"Or maybe she's just really happy being who she is," Tori looked at
me. "That's all we want, right?"

"Yeah, that's all I want."

"That and a pair of panties, blue or yellow?" Tori was holding up some
underwear with a big grin. "You can't have both."

"Uh..." I swallowed hard, "...Blue."

"Good choice," Tori tossed me a pair of baby blue bikini panties with
a little white bow on the front.

"She reminds me of my mom," I said, pulling the panties up and I felt
really weird doing that. At least my dick was soft, more or less. It
was kinda tough watching Tori pull her panties snug against her pretty
pussy and not feel a little something down there.

"Sonja?" Tori snapped the waistband of her panties against her pale
skin.

"Yeah, Sonja. What she was saying, like she knows how I feel? That's
how my mom is too," I said.

"She's like your mom?" Tori giggled. "I thought it was just us, me and
Petra."

"What do you mean?" I asked her.

"We tease her, like if we need a mom, Sonja's there, you know?" Tori
shrugged. "If something's bothering us or whatever, we can't figure
something out...I mean I can't go to Petra cause she's just weird.
She'll laugh at me, but Sonja..."

"She knows, huh?" I bit my lip and reached inside my new panties,
trying to arrange my cock and balls. Tori's underwear was kind of
comfortable, except my butt felt naked.

"Yeah, she knows," Tori nodded. "Lucky for us, ain't it? Are those
panties okay?"

"Yeah, I think so," I agreed. To both of her questions.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

I didn't say anything, I just stood in the middle of Tori's bedroom. I
was dressed now, with a tight knit top and matching skirt, pleated in
blue and gold. No cheer shorts underneath, just blue panties. Some
ankle socks and a pair of Tori's white Skechers. They were 'virgin' as
she called it, having never been outside. My hair was brushed, my face
made up perfectly once again. Outwardly, I was as much a girl as I
could be just then, but inside I was the boy I'd always been. Awkward
and insecure and wondering why I'd never been comfortable with who I
thought I was supposed to be. Maybe now I'd find the answer.

I was too afraid to go downstairs, despite my friends' urgings, and so
they'd brought it upstairs to me...Him, I should say.

"Ashley?" Dan opened the door and when he saw me finally, the look on
his face told me everything I needed to know.

He wasn't disappointed, but I didn't expect him to be. No, the
important thing was that he wasn't surprised. He just smiled and
looked me up and down, but it was plain to me that he'd been expecting
me to look like I did. Not because Tori or someone had told him, I was
sure they hadn't, but because Sonja was right. Dan saw me like this
all the time, from the first day he'd set foot in his new school. I
hadn't changed at all for him. The hair and makeup, the clothing, none
of that affected his vision of who I was.

That understanding lit a fire in me like you wouldn't believe.

"Hi," I smiled and I felt shy suddenly. I hadn't ever felt shy with
him before, I'd been too busy being mad or embarrassed, but now I was
shy.

"Hi," Dan was smiling back. "You look great. I didn't know you're a
cheerleader."

"I'm not," I laughed and probably blushed a little. "It's Tori's
outfit, she's letting me borrow it."

"Well, you oughta be," Dan said and then he gave me a playful grin.
"Um, so...What's the rules?"

"Rules?" I tilted my head, brushing some blonde hair out of my eyes
just for him.

"Yeah, you know. Can we hold hands? Can we sit together, do you
think?" Dan asked and I rolled my eyes. "Can I whisper in your ear?"

"I'm not telling," I giggled. "You'll just have to take your chances."

"Okay," Dan said, walking closer and we just looked at each other as
he put his hands on my hips. "I'll take a chance."

"Right now?" I turned my face upward so I could look into his eyes.

My arms went around his neck and I swallowed hard, feeling my heart
ready to burst. I was going to find out once and for all who I really
was. I was surrendering, not just to Dan, but to the girl in the
mirror. I had to know if she was really me.


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
The End
rache696@yahoo.com

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