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From: Andrew Jay <anc1iej@hotmail.com>
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Subject: {ASSM} Food For Tomorrow - Dish of the Day.txt
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Date: Mon, 28 Apr 2008 20:10:04 -0400
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<1st attachment, "Food For Tomorrow - Dish of the Day.txt" begin>

Food for Tomorrow - Dish of the Day by Andrew Jay (email anc1iej (at)
hotmail .  com) codes: M/f, canib, snuff, humour, cookery

   Copyright 2008 Andrew Jay all rights reserved.  Intended for adults
only. This text may be archived/reposted to free public access provided the
author's name, email and this notice appear in the message body.  This
story is completely fictional - doing any of this stuff at home will hurt
and is probably illegal.  If you want to use the 'universe' feel free, but
please keep 'Food For Tomorrow' in the title, be gentle with my characters,
and credit myself with the idea for the universe.  No fee or service has
ever been provided to the author for this document, or for product
placement.

   Nick Bowles, famous TV presenter and general celebrity was trying to
sweet talk his way inside a very attractive girl who would be appearing as
a contestant on his new show in about an hours time.  "Come on, er... 
Cathy.  This could be your last chance." "I don't know, it's a bit late
now" she replied, trying to fend the reptile off without blowing her
chances on the show.  "Did you know I have two daughters?  You might regret
it if you don't"

   She hesitated.  Men with two children were quite rare.  He was right -
there wasn't long left now.  "Where?" she asked.

   He found an empty dressing room.  "Ok get your clothes off first, then
give me a bit of a blowjob to get me hard." he instructed.  "You aren't
going to come in my mouth are you?" she asked.  "Do I look like that sort
of man?" he asked, genuinely shocked.  She tried to smile as she removed
her clothes, then she knelt down and undid his trousers, taking his semi
erect cock first in her hand then in her mouth.

   He looked down at her as her tongue swirled around his knob.  He was
able to hold her small, firm breasts fully in each hand.  She had a tight
bottom and was slim but not skinny.  She looked absolutely delicious.

   Nick shut his eyes, feeling his cock harden in her mouth.  He was proud
of his cock since he had the surgical enhancements done - when it was
erect, it was about 10 inches long with a pronounced curve.  "Mmmmm, there
are couple of things when I fuck you....  mmmm ....  I like my girls to
talk dirty to me....  mmm....  and call me hound dog by the way...  or
horse cock...  mmm...  it helps me to come....  I squirt like a fire hose
if you do that." Cathy stopped licking for second.  None of this stuff
shocked her anymore.  "Are you ready now?" he nodded.  "How do you want
me?" "Doggy style" he replied - she should have guessed.

   Anyone could have heard what was happening if they passed the dressing
room at that moment: "Yes, fuck me hound dog!  Fuck my dirty cunt with your
lovely big dog cock!  Fuck me please, fuck your dirty bitch!" She was good!
He wasn't going to last much longer.  He had saved the last 2 inches of his
cock for when he was close to coming, which wasn't going to be long now. 
He pushed into her - hard, then harder still, easing his curved penis in a
way that seemed unfamiliar to her, further and further into her young
pussy. She had stopped talking dirty - halted by the sudden pain of his
intrusion.  With a practiced shove, he pushed once more and something
suddenly `gave' - he was fully inside her with what felt like a rubber band
around the knob of his cock.  She started to make a weird gasping noise as
he slowly resumed his pumping.  He felt his balls beginning to tighten, so
he roughly thrust a few more times into her before delivering spurt upon
spurt of his warm, fertile sperm.

   After a few seconds, he withdrew from her, mopping his glistening cock
with her blouse.  "Probably best not to mention this, er...  Cathy" he said
as he started to pull his clothes back on.  "Ok" "And good luck by the
way." he added, before leaving.

   Cathy stayed for another 20 minutes - all the time she had spare before
she had to report to makeup.  She had found a couple of cushions to prop
under her bottom as she laid on the floor, allowing Nick's sperm maximum
opportunity to fertilise an egg inside her before she had to stand up and
his sperm would inevitably start drain out again.  She closed her eyes and
prayed to whoever would listen that this time it would work.

   TRANSCRIPT AND PRODUCTION NOTES: K.H.C.H.E.H.  - LIVE PILOT.  DATE:
24/06/2061

   (Camera pans across five female contestants).  NICK BOWLES (Voiceover in
a hushed tone): Three months ago, these five contestants all won the FSA
national lottery.  Three months are now up, and unless they are pregnant,
tonight they will all be dead meat...  But one of them tonight will be our
star of the show.  Our dish of the day.  Welcome to...  Kill Her, Cook Her,
Eat Her!

   (Applause.  Theme Tune plays.  Opening credits)
NICK: Hello and good evening.  I'm Nick Bowles.

   LYNDA REDMON: And I'm Lynda Redmon.  BOTH: And this is Kill Her, Cook
Her, Eat Her!

   (Audience applause.  Camera pans across the clapping audience which
features men, women and children.)

   LYNDA: The law says that these women should become food, but for the
first time live on TV, we are going to show the actual processes only
previously known to the Food Standards Agency.
NICK: And one woman chosen by our audience will be cooked by our
resident cook Larissa Dickinson.  (Cut to rotund female chef).
LYNDA: and the winner's lucky family will win a wonderful prize chosen
by the winning contestant.  (Cut to archive of a Caribbean beach scene,
then an attractive girl draped over a car).
(Audience applauds again, camera picks out a few faces.  It focuses for
a couple of seconds on an attractive dark haired teenaged girl with large

breasts in the front row)

   (Cut back to Nick.) NICK: Firstly we should explain the background of
our programme.  (Nick turns to a studio TV which is running the
pre-recorded item, the picture fades to the item.  Throughout the
pre-recorded item, archive footage used to illustrate Nick's point.)

   NICK (Voiceover): As you know, 50 years ago, an accident at a germ
warfare plant in Ohio caused a virus to be released into the atmosphere. 
That virus claimed the lives of nearly one third of the earth's population,
and scarred those that remained with a serious condition: A severe
reduction in fertility to about one twentieth of its previous level, and
even more seriously, a drastic reduction in the ratio of boys being born.

   Unfortunately, there was a similar effect on livestock and within a
couple of years there were food riots, in a couple more, near anarchy.  The
governments of the day tried various remedies without success, until, in a
move that was to be copied globally, the British government passed the
`Food For Tomorrow' bill, allowing the use of a proportion of the adult
female population to be used as a food source.

   The initial process was primitive and rather inhumane (Producer's Note:
archive shows a naked women being held down and shot in the head with a
captive bolt gun, then her body tossed into a large machine.  At the other
end of the machine a hungry looking child collects a plate of gooey
mincemeat and smiles at the camera).

   (Producers Note: This next segment is illustrated by a humorous animated
diagram).  Laws came and went, refining the process to what we have today:
As you know we have three classes of person in the population - Citizens,
Cattle and Children.  A Child is just that.  When a male child reaches
fourteen, they become a Citizen.  Citizens can marry, vote, and of course
they never become dinner (polite laugh from the audience).  When a female
child has her first menstruation, they have a year and a day before they
become the third class - Cattle.  Apart from not having the vote, or being
allowed to marry, Cattle can lead ordinary lives, but Cattle class women
are entered into a weekly lottery run by the Food Standards Agency, and
with odds of around one in a thousand, they may be picked for slaughter. 
The slaughter goes ahead in three months time unless the woman gets
pregnant or becomes a Citizen in the meantime.

   There are three ways Cattle can become a Citizens: 1.  By giving birth
to a boy.  2.  By buying citizenship - this is of course well beyond the
means of most people.  3.  By reaching the age of 50 without being
slaughtered.

   End of pre-recorded segment.

   NICK: There are a few other laws around this, but we will mention those
as we come to them.  So with no more ado, lets meet the contestants!

   (Studio applause.  Camera pans to show five nervous looking ladies)
LYNDA: First up is Kelly, she is 35 and works as a full time family carer.

   CONTESTANT KELLY: Hello (waves nervously) LYNDA: I see you have two
daughters!  Congratulations.  KELLY: Yes that's right, they are in the
audience with their dads (she waves to them - camera cuts briefly to two
girls aged about 6 and 11, they wave back).  I have won the lottery twice
before, and both times I have managed to get pregnant before the slaughter,
and been granted the five year lottery exclusion.  LYNDA: Doesn't that make
childcare difficult?  - obviously the girls reside with their father, but
as mother you are entitled to live in the same household as your daughter.
KELLY: Oh it is a nightmare, but I share my time equally between both
houses and it works out ok.
LYNDA: Now you have been in the lottery twice before, both times you
have managed to get pregnant - do you have any tips for other women
approaching slaughter?
KELLY: (she looks directly at the camera) I have sex at least once a
day, but never the same man for two days running, and with proven fertile
men whenever possible.
LYNDA: Well, good luck Kelly (applause from the audience).
LYNDA: Next up is Jane, she is 28 and a school teacher

   CONTESTANT JANE: Hello.  LYNDA: Isn't school teacher a reserved
occupation?  JANE: Yes, but it only grants a seven year exclusion, and
unfortunately that has now expired.
LYNDA: As a little surprise for you, we have class 3c in the audience
tonight!  (camera cuts to about 20 waving eight year olds in school
uniform. Cut back to contestant, who is smiling and waves to them).
LYNDA: Do you have a strategy to avoid slaughter?
JANE: Well, when the 3c's fathers found out I was scheduled for
slaughter, they got together in a sperm drive for me.  One of the fathers
has a son who has just achieved citizenship, and he chipped in as well.  I
already have a boy in my class so I really am hopeful.
LYNDA: Of having a boy?  (muted gasps from the audience) Well good luck!
LYNDA: Next up is Cathy, she is 16 and works as a maid to a citizen.

   CONTESTANT CATHY: Hello.  (Producers note: Contestant had a mark on her
blouse which was picked up by the camera - we must check this sort of
thing).  LYNDA: You are our youngest contestant tonight - how did you feel
when you won the lottery?
CATHY: I was a bit disappointed - I was a late developer, and I had only
been Cattle class for a few months.
LYNDA: Understandable...  (Lynda puts her hand on the contestant's
hand). Do you have a pregnancy strategy?
CATHY: My employer likes to try to impregnate me anyway, but when I told
him I had been picked in the lottery, he held a few parties for his friends
so that they could all service me.  I have had a couple of other
opportunities come up as well...  (Cathy blushes and trails off).
LYNDA: Well, good luck!
LYNDA: Next up is Cordelia, she is 19 and is unemployed.  (Contestant is
a `goth' with black hair and clothing).

   CONTESTANT CORDELIA: Humph.  LYNDA: How did you feel when you won the
lottery?  COREDELIA: I laughed.
LYNDA: (Slightly wrong-footed) Er, do you have a pregnancy strategy?
CORDELIA: Yes - to stay a virgin.  My only regret is that my girlfriend
wasn't picked at the same time (cut to scowling goth girl in the audience).
Anyway, I have every intention of making whoever eats me choke.
LYNDA: (moving on quickly) Well, good luck with that.
LYNDA: Our final contestant is Heather, she is 39 and is a refuse
disposal operative.  (Producers Note: Contestant is a large lady - we
should perhaps have screened her out, although she did provide some comedy
value).

   CONTESTANT HEATHER: Hello Lynda, its lovely to meet you.  LYNDA: Thank
you.  HEATHER: I watch every one of you daytime talk shows - I'm a real big
fan.
LYNDA: How kind of you to say so.
HEATHER: I think we could be friends if we, er, knew each other...
LYNDA: Well good luck.  Back to Nick.


NICK: Thank you Lynda.  I'm a big fan of you too.  (audience laughs).
You may have noticed a strange looking man hovering being Lynda there -
he is from the Food Standards Agency and is officiating tonight.  Right now
he is collecting a blood sample and checking each of the contestant's

identities.

   (Cut to follow the FSA man - he is has a microphone so we can hear what
he is saying as he reaches contestant Cathy).

   FSA MAN: Good evening, may I see your barcode.  CATHY: Oh, ok.  (she
pulls her blouse and bra aside to reveal her small attractive left breast
on which is a tattooed barcode).  NICK (Voiceover in hushed tone): He is
just checking Cathy's identity barcode by scanning it.  As you know, all
Cattle and Female citizens must be marked with a barcode to ensure
identity, and by law any female must allow herself to be scanned at any
time if requested by a member of the FSA (Machine beeps - cut to machine
display which shows her Cattle number, name and the words `Cattle:
Slaughter due today') NICK: It is indeed Cathy we have there.  FSA: Roll up
your sleeve.  (Cathy does as she is told, and after carefully swabbing the
inside of her elbow, the man uses a small syringe to take a blood sample.
He puts the syringe into a hole in the machine) NICK: This is the blood
sample to determine firstly if Cathy is pregnant, but secondly to ensure
she is not carrying any viruses which would make her unfit for consumption.
If that is the case, she would be incinerated as soon as she was
slaughtered.  (FSA man moves on to the next contestant)

   (Cut back to Lynda) LYNDA: Join us after the break, to see the results
of the blood tests and see who is going to be our dish of the day, on Kill
Her, Cook Her, Eat her!

   (Cut to adverts)

   NICK: Welcome back to Kill Her, Cook Her, Eat her.  We currently have
five contestants waiting on the results of a blood test to find out if they
are going back home to start looking for baby clothes, or if they are going
to be slaughtered tonight.

   (Lights go down.  camera cuts from one contestant to the next).  NICK: I
can confirm that one of our contestants IS pregnant, and so will be going
home tonight.  As with any other pregnant mother, as long as the pregnancy
goes to full term, she will enjoy an automatic five year exemption from the
FSA lottery.

   (Heartbeat type rhythm begins.  Contestants look nervous) Cordelia
(camera cuts to her).  (Nick Pauses).  Its NOT you.  Cathy (camera cuts to
her - she is biting her nails).  (Nick Pauses).  Its NOT you.  (Cathy puts
her face in her hands before regaining her composure).  Kelly (camera cuts
to her).  (Nick Pauses).  Its You!  Congratulations!  (Kelly looks elated
and kisses the two contestants nearest her, one of whom is Cathy who looks
like she may cry).  Come over and join your daughters in the audience! 
Would you believe it, ladies and gentlemen - a third child on the way. 
Lets give her a round of applause!  (Audience claps wildly as she rejoins
her daughters.  As she passes the FSA man, he calls her over and she
exposes the barcode on her breast again.  The FSA man scans it and presses
a button.  Camera cuts to the Scanner display which now shows her as
`Cattle: Impregnated').
NICK: So while the remaining contestants remove their clothing I'm just
going to have a brief word with our `chef de jour' Larissa Dickinson. 
(Polite applause) Larissa, you have been cooking cattle for a long time now
- how did you get into the field?
LARISSA: Well, after the birth of my son I became a citizen (smattering
of applause from audience) and I decided it was only fair that I put
something back into female welfare during the slaughter process, so I
decided to teach myself the art of human cookery.
NICK: And do you have any impressions of what you might cook tonight?
LARISSA: Well, there will certainly be one or two challenges!
NICK: Lets go and see the livestock and see what you think.
(The two walk towards the contestants who are now naked, barcodes all

clearly showing)

   NICK: Our first contestant, Jane, Can you meet the chef please.  (Jane
walks over to the podium on which Nick and Larissa are now standing).
Well, Jane.  It didn't work out tonight for you, but I'm sure I'm not
the only man in the studio who wishes their kids were in your class.  You

could have had my sperm anytime.  JANE: Thank you.  Can I just say that if
I'm not the dish of the day, I have been told that the Parents association
is going to bid for my carcass and hold a barbecue evening next weekend, so
if you want to taste me, get down to the school!  NICK.  What a lovely
thought (audience applauds).  I bet some of those kids cant wait to get a
mouthful of you.  I may pop in myself (Jane blushes and laughs).  Now,
Larissa - I look at Jane and I see a large breasted girl with wide hips and
quite prominent labia.  LARISSA: I see that too, but large breasts can be
rather fatty to eat so I wouldn't choose to use those today.  Her hips will
make nice steaks, and I am rather tempted by her belly, but I would have to
see how it looked after butchery.  NICK: And her labia?  LARISSA: Larger
lips tend to have less flavour, but they would be ok to save for another
day - perhaps a stew.  NICK: Thank you Jane, and good luck (Jane returns to
her position).  If you want Jane to be the dish of the day, press the red
button on your remotes.

   NICK: Our next contestant, Cathy, Can you meet the chef please.  (Cathy
still looks on the verge of tears).  Cathy, I know you are nervous, but I
can assure you the whole slaughter process, win or loose is completely
humane.
CATHY: Ok...  Thank you.
NICK: Larissa, I look at Cathy and I see a young, slim girl with small
breasts and a bottom to die for.  Not an ounce of fat on her I would think.
LARISSA: I'm very excited by Cathy (cut to Nick mugging at camera -
audience laughs).  Can you turn around and bend over please dear (Cathy
does so - we can see a goop of sperm dripping from her vagina).  I can see
you were trying your pregnancy strategy up until the last minute!
CATHY: (muffled) Sorry.
LARISSA: Don't be dear.  Now with Cathy, I'm spoiled for choice.  Her
bottom is tight and firm and will make delicious steaks (she squeezes
Cathy's bottom to illustrate the point), her labia are delicate and
delicious (she gently teases out the girls labia).  And I will have to
check after she is butchered, but her uterus is young and she has not been
sexually active long, so I may use her uterus.
NICK: And her breasts?
LARISSA: They are perfect to be roasted whole and served thinly sliced.
Watch that waistline with those though Nick (audience laughs - Nick has had
a well publicised battle with his weight).
NICK: Larissa, I cant help noticing the ladies all have their hair tied
up now.  Why is that?
LARISSA: Well, unlike cows for example, when women are slaughtered their
heads are left on.  Often the purchaser is a member of the woman's family
and they want to see they have the right person, and the head makes such a
lovely centrepiece for a family meal in that situation.  Quite simply, the
hair is tied up so that it is not damaged during the slaughter process. 
(Cathy looks a little bit ill at this).
NICK: Thank you Cathy, and good luck.  If you want Cathy to be the dish
of the day, press the green button on your remotes.
NICK: Our next contestant, Cordelia, Can you meet the chef please. 
(Cordelia saunters down).
LARISSA: Cordelia is a bit of a challenge.  She has slightly drooping
breasts despite her age, and they are just not appetising.  Her general
muscle definition is a bit slack.  She has a piercing in her labia, so
that's out of the question.  She says she is a virgin, so her uterus may be
ok, but again I would have to see it after she is butchered.  I have one
thing in mind though - can you stick out your tongue please.  (Cordelia
sticks out her tongue rudely at Larissa).  Good, her tongue isn't pierced,
and a good size too - I think I could turn her tongue into something
delicious.
NICK: Wouldn't that spoil the look of her face?
LARISSA: Not really.  Although it is quite a large muscle, I could open
her mouth and remove her tongue quite easily without damaging her cheeks or
jaw line - she might look slightly more attractive if anything.

   (Cordelia looks a bit shocked.  The audience spontaneously claps). 
NICK: Thank you Cordelia, and good luck.  If you want Cordelia to be the
dish of the day, press the yellow button on your remotes.

   NICK: Finally, Heather, Can you meet the chef please.  (Heather waddles
down - rolls of fat wobbling).
LARISSA: Heather is the biggest challenge...
NICK: In more ways than one!  (Audience laughs).
LARISSA: Her size will mean the fat content in her flesh will be barely
within human consumption limits.  I puzzled for a while with her.  Can I
ask what sort of things you usually eat dear?
HEATHER: I like burgers a lot - woman burgers are my favourite - I like
it that someone has sacrificed themselves so that I can eat, but I cant
usually afford them so I have to have meat substitute instead.
LARISSA: How many would you have in a week?
HEATHER: Maybe 20, 25?
LARISSA: In that case I think she may have a perfect liver for a pate
mousse.
HEATHER: Ooh that's sounds lovely!  (Audience laughs)
NICK: Thank you Heather, and good luck.  If you want Heather to be the
dish of the day, press the blue button on your remotes.
LYNDA: So to recap.  If you want Jane to be dish of the day, press Red.

   If you want Cathy, press green.  If you want Cordelia, press yellow, If
you want Heather, press blue.

   NICK: You, the audience at home, have about 15 minutes to vote, so join
us after the break when we will see who is the winner of Kill Her, Cook
Her, Eat Her!

   (cut to adverts).

   LYNDA: Welcome back to Kill Her, Cook Her, Eat Her!  While we wait for
the votes to be cast (recap of contestants and buttons to press appear on
the bottom of the screen), I went to find out how two young people from an
ordinary household in the UK deal with the Food For Tomorrow process.
(pre-recorded item starts to play on a studio TV, then picture fades to
that item, The contestant/button information remains on the screen for the

remainder of the item).  LYNDA: I'm at the home of two ordinary teenagers
(she is standing outside an expensive looking house.  She rings the
doorbell.  A young maid in standard black low cut uniform with a short
skirt answers the door and lets her in).  (Cut to living room, with Lynda
sitting next to two teenage girls).  LYNDA: Perhaps you can introduce
yourselves.  YOUNGER GIRL (Hailey): My name is Hailey and I am 13.  OLDER
GIRL (Poppy): My name is Poppy and I am 15.  LYNDA: And do you have a
famous dad?  POPPY: Yes, our dad is Nick Bowles.  (Inset picture of Nick
looking embarrassed as if this is a shock to him).  LYNDA: Perhaps we
should clear one thing up - Nick is a television presenter and obviously
has the money to buy you citizenship...  POPPY: Yes, but he thinks it isn't
fair that we have that advantage over ordinary girls our age...  HAILEY:
And he wont stump up the cash.  (A small round of applause from the studio
audience).  LYNDA: So Poppy, I assume that you are now Cattle class?
POPPY: That's right.  I have been in the draws for the last six months.
LYNDA: and Hailey...  A little bird told me you had a life changing
event a few days ago?
HAILEY: That's right - I started my first period.
LYNDA: Congratulations!  Have you been bar-coded yet?
HAILEY: No.  Dad hasn't got around to taking me to the FSA office yet.
LYNDA: Well, as it happens I have arranged a special visitor.  (The
doorbell rings) And that will be him.
(Cut to the FSA man from the show sitting with them and being served

some tea by the maid).  He has a briefcase containing his gadgets with him.

   FSA: Perhaps I should start by checking each of your identities (Hailey
looks a bit worried).
LYNDA: Of course.  I shall go first.  (She opens her blouse and pulls
aside the left cup of her bra to expose her barcode.  The FSA man scans it
and we see the scanner display show her Id number, `LYNDA REDMON', and the
word `CITIZEN'.
FSA: Thank you citizen.  You next miss.  (Poppy stands defiantly in
front of him and pulls up the left side of her T shirt to reveal the
barcode on her breast.  The FSA man scans it and we see the scanner show
her Id number, `POPPY BOWLES', and the word `Cattle'.  Without thanking
her, the FSA man calls over the maid to be scanned.  She only needs to pull
down her top a little to expose her barcode.  When he scans her, the
scanner displays her Id number `SARAH CASTLE', and the words `Cattle: Due
for slaughter' and the date in six weeks time.
FSA: (Quietly, although still picked up by the mike) You are for
slaughter soon...  would you like me to service you before I go?  I have a
few minutes.
MAID: Yes please, sir.
(The FSA man turns to Hailey, and starts to confirm her name, date of

birth, and the date of her period, tapping them into his scanning device).
FSA: Miss Bowles, I would like you to remove your top so that I can apply
your bar-code.  (Hailey takes her top off, revealing a small blue bra)
FSA: And you bra please.
HAILEY: Erm, is it going to hurt?
POPPY: (Teasing) Yes, it really burns and is agony for days (Hailey
looks petrified).
LYNDA: There is a tiny sting, but that is all (she puts her arm around
Hailey as she removes her bra to reveal her small breasts).
FSA: I will just swab the area to make sure there is no chance of
infection (he takes a wipe from a packet and very thoroughly swabs Hailey's
left breast until it looks a little pink.  Hailey seems slightly repulsed
by him).
FSA: Now I will apply the bar-code.  (He takes the nipple of her left
breast and pulls it to one side to stretch the skin tight, then holds the
scanner against the stretched skin.  Hailey shuts her eyes.  He pulls the
trigger and the machine buzzes, her breast glows red slightly under the
laser as it etches her identity barcode).
HAILEY: Ow, ow, ow!  (There is a slight whiff of smoke from the machine.
It stops buzzing and when it is removed we can see the new, rather sore
looking barcode.  The FSA man swabs her breast thoroughly again, then scans
the new barcode.  The scanner displays her new Id number, `HAILEY BOWLES',
and the word `CHILD'.  He next applies a dressing to the barcode, pressing
the edges down carefully.  He appears to be a man who enjoys his job).
FSA: Hailey Bowles, I am required to inform you that as of a year and a
day from your first menstruation, you will become Cattle class and from
that date be eligible for FSA national lottery draws which may or may not
result in your slaughter under the Food For Tomorrow bill as passed by
parliament.  I am also required to remind you that if requested by an FSA
official, you must immediately expose this barcode for identification
purposes or you risk severe penalty.  Do you understand?
HAILEY: Yes sir.  Thank you.

   (Inset picture of Nick proudly wiping a tear from his eye)

   (Cut to the same room, with Hailey now fully dressed.  The FSA man has
gone) LYNDA: So Hailey - how do you feel now you are bar-coded?
HAILEY: Well, it hurt a bit, and I didn't like that man touching me - I
never had a man touch my boobies before, but now I feel like I'm nearly a
woman.
LYNDA: Good for you.  And Poppy, you are already Cattle class, how do
you feel knowing you could be called for slaughter?
POPPY: It's a bit scary, but I'm just leading a normal life at the
moment.
LYNDA: And if you are called?
POPPY: If I have a boyfriend by then, I will probably start having sex
with him, but I don't think I will have sex with every man I can.  I am
quite prepared to be slaughtered, it is part of our culture after all - dad
has promised to buy my carcass and have a big party in my honour, with me,
cooked, as the centrepiece.  That's what he did for both our mums.
LYNDA: That sounds like a good plan.  Hailey, how will you feel if your
sister is slaughtered?
HAILEY: I'm going to carve off some slices from her butt - its really
huge, so there will be enough for loads of people.  (Hailey laughs, as do
Poppy after a second and Lynda).

   (Fades back to Lynda in the studio) LYNDA: Two remarkably well adjusted
girls who are in the audience tonight (audience applauds, camera cuts to
the two girls looking embarrassed).

   NICK (Looking proud of his girls): Time for voting is nearly up.... 
5,4,3,2,1 and stop voting.  Any votes cast from now will not count, but you
will still be charged.  It will take a few moments to check the results, in
the meantime Lynda will update you with the remaining contestants.  LYNDA:
Thank you Nick - they are all waiting in a hospitality room (cut to the
four women sitting wearing dressing gowns while they wait.  There are two
burly security guards in the room with them.) As no-one wants to get a hair
in their mouth when they eat, each of our contestants have been depilated
using a flash flame to remove every trace of body hair...  NICK: and I am
assured they are silky smooth all over (quiet laugh from the audience - a
stagehand passes an envelope to Nick who opens it).  These are the results.
Ladies could you stand up and remove your gowns.  (they do so, there is a
murmur of approval from the audience who can now see their hairless bodies.
The lights go down to show only the contestants).

   (Heartbeat music starts.) NICK: If I read your name, you have NOT been
chosen by our audience as our dish of the day.  (Nick pauses almost 20
seconds.) ...  Cordelia!  Come over to be slaughtered please!  (Cordelia
looses her nerve, but one of the security guards grabs her and marches her
into the studio where a passageway constructed of metal railings has been
built) NICK: Our FSA man will do one final scan to make sure we have the
right person...  (The FSA man tries to scan Cordelia, but she starts to
wriggle until she is held tightly by the guard and the scan is performed.
Cut to the display showing her Cattle number, name and the words `Cattle:
Slaughter due today'.  He nods to the guard who marches her to the end of
the railings, closing a gate behind her.  CORDELIA: Please don't kill me. I
will do anything.  Please....  I will fuck you if you want (as this is a
family show the word `fuck' is beeped during the five second delay in place
for this part of the program).  Please....  (cut to the FSA man pushing a
red button on a control panel, there is a loud buzzing noise.  Cut back to
Cordelia who has gone rigid.  The buzzing stops and Cordelia falls in a
heap on the floor).  NICK: For the benefit of the viewers at home, we are
now following strict FSA guidelines.  Cordelia has just been stunned using
an electric device beneath her feet.  (A slaughter man in clean brown
overalls hauls a pulley chain on a rail over to Cordelia and expertly loops
the shackles on the chain around both of her ankles.  He presses a button
on a control panel and Cordelia is winched off the ground so that her limp
hands are just clearing the ground.  Her legs are held wide apart by a bar
between the ankle shackles.  The slaughter man then hauls Cordelia on the
rail above her behind a partition so that she is taken out of view of the
cameras.  Some of the audience seem disappointed)

   NICK: We decided not to show the losing contestants being slaughtered as
this show is all about the winner, not the losers.  However, if you want to
see them being slaughtered, a video will be posted on our web site after
the end of the programme showing exactly what happens behind that wall.

   (Lights go down and the heartbeat music starts again) NICK: Once again,
if I read your name, you have NOT been chosen by our audience as our dish
of the day.  (Nick pauses) ...  Jane!  Come over to be slaughtered please!
(Jane looks upset not to have won, but walks gamely to the end of the
railings in the studio, she has not seen or heard what happened with
Cordelia).  NICK: I think it only fair I get a few words from you as well
Jane (he mugs at the camera and the audience laughs).  Jane, I have to say,
that I think you might have won if you hadn't mentioned the school
barbecue.
JANE: I know, it just came out and I knew it was a mistake.
NICK: Now I can see you hairless, I think you look absolutely delicious
- there are some parts of you I would really like to chew on (the camera is
panning down her body and we can see her very large labia perfectly with no
hair in the way.  The audience laughs, and Jane blushes again.  The FSA man
scans her barcode and the display is shown on screen).
NICK: I have just heard from the producer that we will cover the cost of
your carcass and donate it to your school.  (Audience applauds - we cant
hear Jane's words over the noise but she looks grateful).
FSA (picked up by the general mike as he speaks to Jane): Walk to the

end of the railings and shut the gate behind you please.  (She does as she
is told and looks to him for her next instruction.  There isn't one as he
pushes the stunning device's button.  After standing rigidly, she falls
into a heap on the floor and she is winched up and away in the same way as
Cordelia).

   (Lights go down and the heartbeat music starts again.  Camera cuts to
the two contestants) NICK: Once again, if I read your name, you have NOT
been chosen by our audience as our dish of the day.  The person who's name
I don't read out will have won (Nick pauses 30 seconds) ...  Heather!  Come
over to be slaughtered please!

   (Heather walks out, waving to the cheering crowd and is directed to the
passageway.  She really doesn't look any slimmer with her public hair
removed).  NICK: Well done Heather, I thought you might have squeaked it
and won.
HEATHER: Not to worry.  Shame though, I really fancied that pate thing.
(FSA man scans her and directs her to the end of the railing passageway. 
She shuts the gate, the buzzer sounds.  She crashes noisily to the ground
taking a control box with her as she falls.  The slaughter man winches her
away.)
(Cut to Lynda in the hospitality room - she is congratulating Cathy with
a big hug.  The news does not seem to be sinking in yet.  Lynda turns to

the Camera) LYNDA: Join us after the break, when we will be killing,
cooking and eating Cathy!  (huge applause and cheering from the audience).

   (cut to adverts).  (Producer's Note: We realised Heather had damaged the
stunning machine as she fell, and it was immediately obvious that it was
beyond immediate repair.  We did have a backup device, but it then
transpired that the connection and test time of this piece of kit is over
two hours.  The following dialogue was captured for a `making of' segment
we were thinking of adding to the DVD of the show.

   PRODUCER (to production team): So I need alternatives people!  (Silence)
STAN (the slaughter man): In the old days, we didn't have a stunning
device. PRODUCER (to FSA): Could we do that?  (FSA man checks through his
rule book) FSA: Yes, but you must have her witnessed consent.  STAN: Only
trouble is, we would have to tie her hands behind her back, otherwise she
would flail around, might hurt herself, or me.  It wouldn't be pretty
either...  PRODUCER: We cant tie up the winner of the show!
NICK: Could we hold her hands instead?  (FSA man consults his rulebook
again)
FSA: Hmmm - `under exceptional circumstances the head of the abattoir
facility can allow a responsible adult to accompany the candidate'.  I
think it is intended for when the candidate is not very old.
PRODUCER: That sounds like its allowed - who is the head of the
facility?
FSA: Erm...  I am.
PRODUCER: So can we do it?
FSA: (Pauses) Yes.  but you must get her explicit consent to go without
the stunning device.
NICK: I will talk to her - she trusts me.  (Nick hurries away to the
hospitality room with Stan where Cathy is still waiting with Lynda who is
comforting the girl).
NICK: Cathy...  we have a really big favour to ask of you...
CATHY: That's ok, go ahead.
NICK: The stunning device has been broken.  I really don't want to let
all of the viewers down tonight, and I think you can do it without the
device.  I have told them we will only go ahead if you agree, and I have
demanded that Lynda and I both hold your hands the whole time.
CATHY: You want to slaughter me without stunning me?
NICK: Yes.
CATHY: And if I don't agree?
NICK: Then we wait a couple of hours until the stunning device is fixed,
there will be no prizes for your family, and no gourmet cook.  You will
just be another carcass to be processed, and everyone on the show loses
their job.

   CATHY (to Stan): Will it hurt?  STAN: I have done it many times when I
was younger - my knife is really sharp and it wont feel any worse than the
prick from the blood test you just gave.  CATHY: I meant dying...  STAN:
Like falling asleep.  CATHY: (Pauses in thought) Ok.

   (end of commercial break)

   (Lynda and Nick are now dressed in brown overalls like Stan) LYNDA:
Welcome back to Kill Her, Cook Her, Eat Her!  You the viewers at home have
chosen one lucky woman tonight to be our dish of the day (cut to Cathy in
her gown again trying to smile).  Earlier in the show, one lucky contestant
found they were pregnant and will be going home with the usual five year
lottery exemption as a result.  (cut to waving Kelly and her two children
in the audience).

   NICK: We had three other contestants who weren't as lucky as Cathy or
Kelly (cut to see the wall so far blocking the view of the audience from
the slaughter process is being pushed aside by stage hands.  Behind it
there are three carcasses hanging by their ankles - their torsos have all
been neatly cut down the middle to remove their internal organs which are
in a stainless steel tray in front of each of them.  The FSA man is
scanning them and we see his display showing them as `SLAUGHTERED' with
today's date.  He briefly checks each body cavity and internal organs, then
stamps `Grade A.  Fit for consumption' on the back of the first two
carcasses.  The third carcass is a fat woman who gets `Grade C.  Fit for
consumption'.)
NICK: Lets have a warm round of applause for Cordelia, Jane and Heather!
(audience applauds)
(Cut to Lynda who is now on a podium in front of the studio audience

with Cathy in her robe) LYNDA: And now for our winner Cathy (waits for
applause to subside).  Cathy has something to say to us before we slaughter
her.  CATHY: (suddenly appearing to get stage fright) Erm, thank you.  I
wanted to win this show as a tribute to my mother.  Before she was
slaughtered, she said that when it came to my turn, I should hold my head
up high and show people who I am.  I am going to do that Lynda, and I have
decided that I want to be slaughtered without being stunned.  (shocked
gasps from the audience, then huge applause).
LYNDA: I think that's a wonderful gesture, and a fitting tribute.  Nick
and I will hold your hands the whole time (more applause).  There is one
more formality to go through, and that is the prize for your family (cut to
a rather elderly man and two girls aged about 7 and 10 in the hospitality
room, unseen by Cathy.  They wave to the camera.)
LYNDA: You may choose either:
A seven year lottery exemption for both of your sisters when they become

Cattle (camera cuts to the two girls.  Audience gasps); OR a family car
like this one (cut to image of an expensive red car); OR a holiday for you
father and a friend of his choice in the Bahamas for 4 weeks!

   LYNDA: I can give you a few seconds to think it over...  Have to hurry
you...
CATHY: There is really nothing to think about.  Dad really needs a new
car!  (Audience applauds.  Then a huge cheer when Cathy's family appear
behind her and hug her on the stage.  Her dad hugs Cathy enthusiastically.
Cathy is in tears).
LYNDA (to Cathy's dad): How do you feel now you are going to see your

daughter slaughtered and cooked tonight?  DAD: I'm so proud of her (he
wipes a tear from his eye).  LYNDA: What part of her do you want to eat the
most?  DAD: I'm with Nick on that - I want to eat her breasts (audience
laughs), but I want to try the rest of her as well.
LYNDA: We will just show Cathy's Dad and her sisters to their seats (we
see them sitting in the front row).  Over to you Nick.
NICK: (In a serious tone) We have seen the contestants, the audience
have chosen Cathy as the winner.  All that remains is to kill her, cook
her, and eat her.  Cathy, Come over to be slaughtered please.  (Cathy is
still in her robe, and walks across the studio, past her three fellow
contestants hanging by their ankles.  She looks at them as she passes).
(Lynda joins Nick.  Nick greets Cathy with a kiss on the cheek.  There

is no special equipment on stage now, just a bench under the winch rail)

   NICK: Cathy, you have been a wonderful contestant, but the time has come
now for you to be slaughtered.  (Cathy nods, but doesn't speak).  This is
Stan, who will be slaughtering you.  (Stan is a slim man about 60 years
old)
STAN: Hello Cathy (he holds his hand out to her and she gingerly shakes
it).
NICK: Cathy has asked that she be slaughtered without being stunned...
(spontaneous applause) Stan have you ever done that before.
STAN: Oh yes, it used to be the normal method about 20 years ago.  The
procedure is slightly different to a stunned slaughter though.
NICK: Perhaps you could talk us through it when Cathy is ready.  Cathy,
could you remove your robe and lay on this bench so that we can attach the
chains to your ankles please.  (Cathy is stoically holding back tears, but
does as she is told.  An assistant attaches the shackles on a hoist chain
to both of her ankles - these are padded for comfort.  There is a bar
between the two shackles to spread Cathy's ankles by about 60cm.  The FSA
man scans her barcode and the display is shown on screen.  The assistant
checks she is comfortable and she nods.  Stan presses the hoist button and
Cathy is slowly lifted off the bench until she is high enough to be unable
to touch the ground below her with her fingers.  She hugs her hands tight
to her stomach.  The bench is removed by stage hands).
NICK: Are you comfortable Cathy?
CATHY: (quietly) I'm ok.
STAN: This is a good time to hold her hands - it is obviously quite
frightening.
(Nick and Lynda each take one of Cathy's hands - she visibly relaxes a

little).  STAN: Very briefly the procedure I will use tonight.  (he bends
down and the shot is of Cathy's face and neck).  I will insert my blade
here and here (pointing to a position either side of Cathy's neck - she
flinches).  I will cut the main vein either side allowing her to bleed very
freely.  If she had been stunned I would have cut her windpipe as well, but
that would distress her as she is still conscious.
NICK: I don't follow?
STAN: Feeling your blood draining away doesn't actually hurt, but if you
were unable to breath as well, it could cause you some panic.  We aren't
barbarians you know (nervous laugh from audience).  I will then let her
bleed out for a few seconds.
NICK: And why is that?
STAN: I don't want to get blood in my boots!  (Producer's note: this
slaughter man is pure gold!).
NICK: The voice of experience.  Then what?
STAN: I will then cut from here (camera follows his fingers which are
touching a point just above her pubic bone).  Down to here (he traces a
line with his finger to the apex of her chest).  This is the skilled part
of the job because I need to cut deep enough to sever her stomach muscles,
but not so deep I damage her intestines which must remain intact in order
to not contaminate her carcass.
NICK: If I can stop you there Stan - Cathy is gripping my hand like
there is no tomorrow.  Are you ok Cathy?
CATHY: (almost inaudible) Yes.
NICK: What next?
STAN: I would place my left hand inside the cut here (his hand is just
above her pubic bone again).  I would then pull her reproductive organs
forward so that I could cut around her anus with my right hand without
nicking her vagina or uterus.  (Stan is demonstrating a cutting around
motion on Cathy's anus which is captured by an overhead camera)
NICK: Is that why her legs are spread like that?
STAN: Yes - it affords me a good view and plenty of room to cut around
her anus.
NICK: It is a lovely view as well.
STAN: As soon as her anus is separated, I will pinch the end together
inside her body cavity so as not to contaminate her carcass with any faecal
matter.  I will then use the knife to cut some arteries to her intestines,
liver and stomach, then cut her oesophagus just under her diaphragm, and
remove the whole lot in one go and place it in the tray for inspection.  An
important point to note is that had she been stunned, I would have run the
initial cut right down to here (He runs his fingers from her pubic bone
right down to near her throat - the touch appears to have made Cathy's
nipples erect - the camera lingers for a little while on them).  I would
then be able to remove the lungs and heart at the same time.
NICK: Your knife will go through that cartilage?
STAN: (removing his knife and showing it to the camera) My knife is very
sharp, and this serrated part of the blade will go through most things
quite easily.
NICK: But instead you are going to remove her organs in two parts.
STAN: That's right.  I will then quickly remove her bladder and kidneys.
Her reproductive organs will remain on her carcass for Larissa to butcher.
LYNDA: (she is kneeling down to speak to Cathy.  Cathy is trembling
slightly - Lynda is stroking Cathy's breast reassuringly, and it seems to
be helping).  Cathy, are you ok?  - we will hold your hands every second.
CATHY: I'm ok.
LYNDA: Are you frightened?
CATHY: A bit.
LYNDA: In a few seconds, Stan is going to cut the main veins in your
neck.  Is there anything you would like to say?
CATHY: (tears running freely) Yes please.  Dad I love you.  And mum - I
know you are watching over me - I love you too.  (camera cuts to Cathy's
dad but he has missed Cathy's words as he is talking to a large breasted,
dark haired teenaged girl next to him and looking down her top).
NICK: Can we bring the lights down please (lights go down so that only
the area around Cathy is lit).
NICK: Stan...  (pauses for 30 seconds.  Camera cuts between Cathy's face
and members of the audience, who have surprisingly similar expressions). 
Could you slaughter Cathy please.
(Stan kneels down next to Cathy - we get a close-up of his knife
pressing into her neck.  It suddenly breaks the skin.  With a practiced
flick, Stan severs the first vein and instantly blood pours from the wound.
He repeats the manoeuvre on the other side of her neck.  Camera pulls back
to reveal Cathy's upper body, blood gushing past her ears into a tray of
sawdust beneath her.  We can just see her arms trying to move, but as
promised, Nick and Lynda are holding her hands tightly.  Cathy is gasping,
and looking like she is panicking a little.  Despite the danger of being

splashed by blood, Lynda kneels, soothes her by stroking her breast again)
Lynda: You are doing beautifully, Cathy.  Your dad looks so proud of you
(the director chose not to cut to her dad at this point as he was still
looking down the teenager's top).  You are being really brave...  (Cathy
relaxes visibly.  Her nipples are erect again.  After a few more seconds
the blood flow slows to a trickle and her breathing is barely noticeable.
Her eyes are still locked on Lynda and it looks like her mouth is trying to
form a word.)
(Stan moves in and slices down from her pubic bone to the apex of her
chest.  Blood oozes, but doesn't gush from this wound.  Camera cuts back to
Cathy's face which is wide eyed.  It looks like she is trying to speak but

cant.

   Stan pushes his left hand inside the wound, then the overhead camera
captures him carefully slicing around her anus.  Cathy's eyes are rolling a
little.  A swift movement with the knife near her diaphragm and Stan lifts
her intestines, liver and stomach free from her body and places them into a
metal tray in front of Cathy.  Stan pauses for a second)
NICK: Why are you waiting?
STAN: Its not considered professional to cut into the ribcage while she
is still both conscious and breathing, so I will give it a few seconds.
NICK: I have to say, I thought she was going to break my fingers when
you cut around her bottom.  (Cut to Lynda who is still whispering to Cathy,
and stroking her breast.  The nipple is still erect, and we can see the
tiny rise and fall of her chest).
STAN: People don't always appreciate that death isn't instant, death is
a gradual fading away.  They say that hearing is the last thing to go, and
she can certainly still hear us at the moment.
NICK: (bends down to Cathy's ear), Cathy, you really were amazing, and I
for one really am proud to have known you.  (close-up of her face.  Her
eyes flicker a little).
STAN: Ok she has stopped breathing.  You better move your hand out of
the way Lynda.
(Stan cuts through the cartilage on Cathy's chest with rather more
effort than he needed on her tummy, and pulls her body cavity open to
reveal her lungs and heart.  Although not beating, the heart is still
fluttering slightly.  With a deft cut, Stan removes Cathy's heart and lungs
and places them in the metal tray.  After a few seconds, her bladder is
placed in the same tray and her kidneys go into a small separate

container.) STAN: Nick, Lynda...  I have now slaughtered Cathy without her
being stunned.
NICK: (Dropping Cathy's hand which flops limply down) Ladies and
gentlemen, if she can still hear us - a big round of applause for Cathy! 
(Huge audience cheering, which goes on for over a minute - awkward as we
are already behind schedule.  We see the FSA man discretely scan Cathy's
barcode showing the display on screen again, checking the intestines and
carcass, then stamping the back of Cathy's neck with `Grade A+.  Fit for
consumption').
LYNDA: (Standing up next to Cathy, face visibly speckled with blood)
That was the most moving thing I have ever seen.  (She wipes a tear from
her eye).  Stan, can you help us get Cathy onto Larissa's butchery table?
(they slide Cathy's carcass along the winch rail to a stainless steel

table and lower Cathy face up onto it.  Stan removes the shackles).

   LARISSA: I'm going to hurry on a bit here, Lynda dear.  I have prepared
some ingredients already, so I wonder if you could push your hand into
Cathy's vagina, feel for her cervix with your finger tips, then stretch it
open a bit so you can get two fingers in it - it might be quite stiff at
first.  You can hold her uterus still with your other hand.  (Linda does
this as if she is trying not to hurt Cathy.)
LYNDA: I have found her cervix.  Its not too tight actually.
LARISSA: Really?  Well, can you stuff her uterus via her cervix, then
her vagina with this please, it is some chopped olives in a vinaigrette
sauce and some mozzarella cheese - the recipe is on the website.
LYNDA: (she gets on with the job she has been given) It is really quite
warm inside her still - it feels as if she could still be alive.
LARISSA: She can probably still hear us, and maybe feel us, although I
will remove her head in a minute.  (The camera picks up Lynda discretely
rubbing Cathy's clitoris before she stuffs another handful of ingredients
inside her).
LARISSA: While you do that I will take her breasts off First I am going
to inject through the nipple with a saffron solution just to infuse them
with a little flavour, then slice under them cleanly, rub the skin with a
little olive oil so they don't scorch and I am going to dip the cut side in
some salt.  This isn't for flavour, it is to help leach out some of the
fat. You can really only do this with small firm breasts - big ones will
just be too fatty to eat.  (She injects and cuts as she is talking, then
places the two breasts into a baking tray and hands them to an assistant).
LARISSA: I'm going to remove a few of her ribs for the children to eat
(she very quickly removes the skin covering Cathy's ribs, and speedily
slices about 10 ribs and places them on a baking tray.) My assistant will
cover them in a barbecue sauce.  How is her vagina coming?
LYNDA: I think I'm done.
LARISSA: I will quickly remove it - the reason I asked you to stuff her
sexual organs `in situ' is that they can be slippery things once they are
out of the body - they are much easier to stuff if one end is still
attached (audience laughs.  She quickly slices around Cathy's opening, then
holds the whole organ for the camera to see).  I know the men will be
fighting over these delicious little lips (audience laughs again).  We will
fry this in a hot pan for a couple of minutes, then marinade in a red wine
sauce.
LARISSA: I'm going to remove her head now so that it doesn't get damaged
when we turn her over - it would be a shame to break a tooth or something
(she cuts quickly through Cathy's neck between the vertebrae, then passes
the head to one of the production team).  We will get her head cleaned up a
little for the table later.  (two more of the production team then help to
turn Cathy over, face down so to speak).
LARISSA: (she pats Cathy's bottom, which looks exactly like it did
before she was slaughtered, apart from a gaping hole where her anus used to
be).  I used to have a bottom like this you know (the audience laughs - her
bottom is rather large now.  She deftly removes the skin from both buttock
cheeks).  I am going to cut some steaks directly from the carcass -
normally to avoid waste I would remove the buttocks first, but we are
really short of time.  (She starts to slice six thick steaks from each
buttock and places the meat on a metal tray).  I think just a little
seasoning before grilling them and these will be absolutely delicious.
LYNDA: (to the camera) We will get those delicious cuts of meat into the
oven.  I know Larissa is going to butcher the rest of the carcass for
Cathy's dad to take home.  Join us after the news - We have killed her, we
will have cooked her, so we just need to eat her.  (audience applauds - cut
to news)
(Producer's Note: The subsequent news program included a segment about
this program.  It mentioned Cathy's decision not to be stunned and showed

Cathy's neck veins being cut, then cut to Larissa removing the head.)

   (Return after a 30 minute break for the news.  This segment is in the
format of a 15 minute `results' show) NICK: Welcome back to Kill her, cook
her, eat her.  (the audience are still present and applaud.  The studio
just has a large round table set for dinner, the lighting making it seem
like an intimate gathering rather than in a studio in front of an audience.
Various members of the studio are already seated at it - Cathy's dad and
his two daughters; Hailey and Poppy; Stan; Nick; Lynda and Kelly - the
pregnant contestant).

   NICK: Earlier in the evening, the audience selected one contestant to be
slaughtered live on air...
LYNDA: ...And the un-stunned slaughter is an experience none of us in
this studio will forget.
NICK: Our resident chef butchered her, then cooked various parts of her
for our enjoyment.  Would you please welcome the winner of our show... 
Cathy!  (huge applause - Larissa enters, carrying Cathy's head on a silver
salver.  The head has been cleaned of any blood, and had some discrete
makeup applied to make it look more alive.  The hair has been let down back
into the same style it was in when we first saw Cathy.  The judicious use
of pins has kept her eyes open and looking in the same direction, and they
also keep her face looking vivacious and smiling.  Larissa places the
salver in the middle of the table.
LYNDA: I am certain she cant here me this long after she was
slaughtered, but Cathy - you were a wonderful contestant.  (more applause).
NICK: I can see Larissa has the first course ready now (Larissa brings a
tray with the barbecue ribs and everyone takes at least one.  Camera pans
around the table - everyone is tucking in to the ribs.)
LARISSA: I made these as a starter, and I was fairly sure even the
younger ones would enjoy them.  The breasts and reproductive organs are a
slightly more of an acquired taste, and I didn't want the kids to go
hungry.
LYNDA: They are very nice - I may have to grab another before they all
go...  (she then turns to Poppy, Nicks elder daughter) You felt quite
comfortable with the idea of being slaughtered Poppy.  How do you feel
having seen Cathy?
POPPY: It was soooo amazing!  I want to be slaughtered without being
stunned.
LYNDA: Really?  I am fairly sure Cathy felt some pain during parts of
it.
POPPY: It just seems like there is a right way and a wrong way to be
slaughtered.  I think the right way is to be awake while you are being
slaughtered, like Cathy was.  (Audience applauds - Poppy, rather surprised
by this, beams with pride)
LYNDA: How do you feel about that Nick?
NICK: I wont hold her to it - there is probably lots of time to decide,
but if that's what she wants I will be very proud of her and I will hold
her hand like I did with Cathy.  (more applause.  Larissa appears with the
next dish - two slightly browned, small breasts steaming on a carving
board. Larissa starts to carve them into thin slices which she passes
around - there is enough for two slices each.
NICK: (tastes a mouthful of breast) Ohhh...  delicious...  you can taste
that hint of saffron, Larissa.  (camera cuts to Cathy's dad who has just
tasted some breast and seems equally enthused).
NICK: (to Cathy's dad) What did you think of them?
CATHY'S DAD: Mmmmm...  just superb, they are melting in my mouth. 
Larissa has really done them justice.  As Cathy was growing up I would see
her breasts and think `oh don't grow any more please' and thank goodness
they didn't.  (he turns to his two young daughters) And you two - I want to
eat your breasts too, so promise me you wont let yours get big either!  The
older daughter appears to have started developing breasts and goes bright
red - she says `Dad!' and digs her father in the ribs - the audience
laughs. Everyone eats the breast slices quickly, and Larissa appears with
the next course - Cathy's reproductive organ on another chopping board. 
Larissa slices across the organ so the cuts come out as broad round slices
encircling the steaming stuffing mixture.  She dishes at least one slice to

everyone - the children nibble it but don't like it.  LARISSA: Who would
like the crackling lips?  (Nick, Lynda, Cathy's dad, and Poppy all put
there hands up).  There are only two, and they are not very big...  I think
Cathy's dad should have one...  (she carefully slices one of the crispy
labia from Cathy's vagina and passes it to Cathy's dad) and I think Poppy
deserves one as long as it is going to be eaten?  (Poppy nods, and Larissa
passes her the other labia.  The camera watches Poppy gingerly taste the
labia with her tongue, then nibble one end, then put the rest of the labia
in her mouth and started chewing).  NICK: It's not like you to try new
foods, Poppy...  what do you think of it?  POPPY: It is lovely...  crispy
but juicy at the same time.  NICK: So what made you put your hand up to try
it?  (it is Poppy's turn to go red now, but she seems to forget for a
moment she is on live TV) POPPY: Well...  her lips...  down below...  are
quite similar to mine....  and I just wondered what they would taste like.
NICK: (Laughs) If you end up on my dinner table, I am definitely getting
first choice of your crispy lips!
CATHY'S DAD: Maybe I can get an invite Nick - this labia is lovely, and
I bet Poppy's will be just as tasty.  (even Poppy's ears have turned red in

embarrassment) LARISSA: Of course there is special symbolism to the labia.
Every man who has serviced Cathy, Cathy herself has probably pleasured
herself many times, and maybe even had some female lovers, and all that
passion has been between those labia.  They say that those who eat the
labia are experiencing the passion of each of those times again.  (Poppy's
embarrassment is too much for her and she hides her face until she has
recovered her composure).
LYNDA: (to Kelly, the pregnant contestant) What do you think of the
uterus Kelly?
KELLY: (briefly finishing her mouthful) Lovely - The flesh is lovely and
tender, and I love what you did with the stuffing Larissa.
LYNDA: Of course it could have been you on the table tonight.
KELLY: Yes, but I don't think I would have won - I would be hanging up
with those other three.  (audience laughs) I don't think I would have been
brave enough to have done it without being stunned.  You wouldn't have been
eating my uterus now either - after two kids, mine must have the texture of
a leather handbag by now, and my labia are way bigger than Cathy's, or
Poppy's for that matter (poor Poppy looks like she wishes she could be
swallowed up).
LARISSA: I haven't met the woman yet who cant provide a perfect cut of
meat from somewhere on her body.  (She pauses for a moment, appraising
Kelly) Kelly, are you still in milk?
KELLY: Yes.  After my youngest was born I intended to get a little extra
income by selling my breast milk, but as it turned out, both my kids' dads
like my milk in the morning (audience laughs).
NICK: Oh tell me about it.  Of all the things we missed when Hailey's
mum was slaughtered, I think we missed the fresh, warm milk on our cereal
the most.
HAILEY: I missed being tucked in at night.
NICK: (to Hailey) I know princess...  but you know that when a woman has
to be slaughtered, she has to be slaughtered.  (he hugs her shoulders, she
seems a bit sad but ok).
LARISSA: As I was saying Kelly...  your breasts are in milk which means
that if they were skinned and diced fairly finely, then hot fried with some
tarragon, they would make the most creamy, rich, delightful carbonara you
could ever taste.
KELLY: I really didn't know!  I will definitely keep them in milk as
long as I can then.

   (Larissa gets the final course - a plate of steaming rump steaks.)
LYNDA: (still eating) You were right about these steaks Larissa.  Gorgeous.
(murmurs of agreement from the table).  Stan, you slaughtered Cathy today,
how comfortable are you about eating her now?  STAN: I have mixed
feelings...  On the one hand she is absolutely top quality meat, and I am
truly privileged to have eaten her.  Conversely, she seemed perfect
motherhood material, and it is a shame she didn't achieve that.  LYNDA: Do
you think three months to get pregnant is long enough?  STAN: For someone
like Cathy or Jane the schoolteacher, maybe not.  On the other hand,
Heather and Cordelia didn't really deserve to get as much as three months -
they could have been slaughtered immediately.  (spontaneous applause from
the audience).  I don't know how you put that into a rule book though. 
LYNDA: Something for our lawmakers to consider maybe.
(they continue to eat the steaks - the camera cuts to each of them to

see their reaction to the food).

   NICK: There is just one formality to complete before the end of the
show. Cathy won a prize for her Dad and we have that prize for him now. 
(Cathy's dad and his daughters stand up and follow Nick to a large door in
the studio wall which starts to open.  A large, shiny, expensive red car is
driven through the door and stops in front of them.  A stage hand gets out
of the car)
NICK: Its yours - climb in and enjoy!  (audience applauds - the two
girls get into the back seat, and Cathy's dad gets behind the wheel)
Larissa has butchered the rest of Cathy's carcass, and those cuts of meat
are in a cool box in the boot.  There is one final guest of honour of
course - Cathy!  (audience cheers.  Larissa is carrying Cathy's head in a
protective, clear Perspex box, and places it into the boot with the cool
box).
LYNDA: Tonight we have killed her,
NICK: ...cooked her
LYNDA: ...and eaten her
BOTH: Goodnight!  (theme tune starts, closing credits.  Cathy's dad and
sisters wave from inside the car).



   A large, shiny, red car is parked in a television studio car park. 
There are two girls in the back seat - one aged about 7 is testing the
electric windows.  The other, aged about 10 is idly watching her father who
is sitting in the passenger seat with his trousers and underwear on the
drivers seat.  The remains of the girls' sister are in the boot.

   A large breasted, dark haired, teenage girl is kneeling on the floor
between the mans legs, holding her breasts wrapped around his penis,
sliding them up and down its length.  Every so often, she loosens her
breasts enough to swirl his knob with her tongue.  The man has his eyes
closed, enjoying the sensations.  "Is it hard enough now?  Only my mum is
waiting for me." she asks.  "Go on then" he replies.  He opens his eyes and
can see a woman whom he presumes to be the girls mother waiting a few yards
from the car.

   The teenager is all but naked and climbs onto the man's lap, straddling
him.  She lowers herself down onto his erection, then starts to grind down
on him, his full length inside her.  She has been with one boy her own age
in the past, but having seen the TV program being recorded today, she has
decided to make more effort in avoiding the lottery draw.  She finds it a
little off-putting to be watched by the older girl from the back seat
however.  The man is at the right height now to bite at her nipples and
squeeze her large heaving breasts as she fucks him, and it is enough to
take her mind off the voyeur.  "Ahh!  yes...", she gets into her rhythm,
"Fuck me....  Fuck me...." "Mind your language please, there are youngsters
in the car" he admonishes.  "Ahhh!...  sorry....  ahhh!  give me your
spunk..." In a sudden burst of speed, his hips thrust faster and faster
until she feels his warm, fertile sperm being deposited deep within her.

   The girl gets dressed, but begins to feel the semen sliding down her
inner thigh already.  As she leaves the car, the older daughter offers
"Good luck!"

   The car drives off as the teenager returns to her mother who asks how
the servicing went.

   In the car, the younger girl asks "Dad, can we get a burger on the way
home?"






   

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