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NNTP-Posting-Date: Wed, 19 Dec 2007 08:00:23 -0600
From: "Elf M. Sternberg" <elf@pendorwright.com>
Subject: {ASSM} Journal Entry 276 / 00590  Anger (MM)
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Date: Wed, 19 Dec 2007 14:10:01 -0500
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Anger
Mettare 0590
I heard the sounds of footsteps behind me, and from the rhythm and the
scent I knew Aaden had come into the house. Usually that's good news,
but right now I was in such a foul mood that even his company was an
unwelcome intrusion. He walked in to the workroom and, just as I knew he
would, he placed his hand upon my shoulder and said "Hello."

"Hi," I said, not very cheerfully.

"Are you okay?" he asked. "I heard about the screaming match this
afternoon. I'm glad you weren't involved."

"I'm still involved, Aaden. It's my political butt on the line here, you
know. They want economic concessions, and I'm wondering where the Hell
the expect to get them when we don't have an economy."

"We have an economy," he said. "In fact, we've got two of them. You and
I just happen to be in the upper of the two."

"For reasons I could never understand," I growled, then glanced up at
him. "I'm not really in the mood for company right now, lover. If one
more thing happens today, I'm going to start taking my anger out on
something inappropriate, and I'd rather not do that."

He nodded. "I'll leave you alone, then." He walked out of the workroom,
and I heard him leave our quarters entirely, wandering out into the
hallway of the Castle. I turned back around and satisfied myself with
reading the reports left on my desk. A few minutes later, though, I
heard him return, and it sounded as if he were walking back towards me.

Truth to tell, I wanted some company right now. I just knew that I
wasn't in the right mood to be good company, and I didn't want him to
have to put up with one of my foul moods. Still, if he was going to
volunteer to hang around me, that was his decision, not mine.

I felt something solid tap me on the shoulder while a wooden, hollow
sound repeated in my ears. I turned to look, and found Aaden holding a
shaft of bamboo, about 75cm long and maybe 4cm in diameter. "What's this
for?" I asked?

"You said you wanted to hit something," he said. "Hit me."

The anger I felt subsided momentarily to make room for something else.
"Aaden, that's not even funny."

"I didn't say it was supposed to be. I am not an inappropriate target.
Go ahead, take the staff."

I took it in my left hand, then shifted it over to my right. "It's
pretty light. We've got some teflon canes heavier than this."

He nodded. "That's why I brought it. Go ahead, Ken. Take it out, on me.
I trust you, you won't hurt me."

I looked into his deep brown eyes, which have entranced me every day of
my life since I met him. I could not believe what he was telling me to
do, asking me to do. "Aaden."

"Come on," he hissed, and I felt us both shifting into play mode slowly.
I had a headache and I was still pissed as Hell, but that didn't stop me
from knowing when the game had begun.

"I can't..." He lunged at me.

A clumsy swing, obviously pulled, but a swing nonetheless. I struck back
with the staff and without finesse, hitting him on the thigh with a less
than solid strike. He recoiled, and I grabbed him by the wrist, wheeling
around him with one hand and pinning his arm behind his back. "Don't
move, Aaden. Dave, get me the manacles." I thought for a moment and a
pair of gravitic manacles came whizzing out of the bedroom. I put one
around his left wrist and let it go, ordering it up into the air. I did
the same with his right. "Okay, you asked for it." I walked around him
easily. "First, those are coming off." I reached onto my desk for a pair
of scissors and began cutting the baggy, loose-fitting cotton pants off
of his body. He whimpered softly as I got close to his manhood, but I
didn't want him damaged. Just hurting.

The top, held shut with a wide belt about the waist, came off just as
easily. I recognized the outfit as some form of stylized gi. Naked, his
tail dropping to the floor, he looked much better. "Fuck with me, huh?"
I said, swinging the heavy club down and hitting his ass.

"Yeah, I like fucking with you," he snarled back.

"Shut up," I said, hitting his thighs. "You and your 'I know what's
best.'" The bamboo came down across his ass again, landing with a solid
'thwock.' It was an interesting sound, not quite a solid impact, kind of
hollow in a way.

I began to work his ass over, slowly hitting each cheek. I could feel
the anger he had sought to arouse growing within me, slowly welling up
from somewhere deep below my heart and filling me. "You pompous fucking
bastard," I breathed at one point. "I can't stand the way you condescend
to me."

"Fuck you," he replied, snarling. "Why should I put up your constant
posturing anyw... Ugh!" he replied as the staff hit him across the
chest.

"Because," I said, "You're the one who's fucking tied up. Now take it,
you pain in the ass." I struck him five times swiftly on the backs of
his thighs, and soon he was dancing. "Stand still, damnit. I can't
torture you properly if you don't stand still!"

"Maybe I don't wanna!"

*CRACK*. I struck him soundly across his upper chest, hard, and the
bamboo staff split at the ends. "I'm sick of your shit," I growled. I
began to work him over viciously, almost carelessly. Never once did I
hit him anywhere in the 'danger zone' of his belly, where the soft
organs of the kidney, liver, and intestines reside, but his chest, back,
butt and thighs were free game and he began whimpering and cursing and
finally he was screaming in pain as the anger and the hatred I felt...
for Terra and for him, welled through me and expressed itself in the
swiftly swinging bamboo. Pieces of it began flying across the room;
blood appeared in a white region of his fur.

I beat him until he began trembling, until he was crying and begging me
to stop. Finally, the crack in the bamboo worked it's way into my hand
and the staff lost all integrity, falling apart into a thousand
splinters and most of it dropping to the floor.

He was still standing under his own power; his head lolled to one side
and he was breathing hard. The bloodstain on his chest spread slowly
now. I opened my hand and the small piece of bamboo that remained fell
to the carpeted floor with a thunk. "Aaden."

He picked his head up slowly and looked at me, a small smile on his
face. I reached up and stroked his cheek. Tears welled in my eyes to
look at his, to see the pain I had inflicted there. "My Gods," I said,
"I'm sorry."

"Let me go, first," he breathed. I nodded, and the manacles snapped
open. He dropped to his knees fast, and I reacted, grabbing him about
the waist and guiding him down to make sure he didn't hurt himself on
the way down. "Aaden?"

"I'm okay." His voice sounded raspy; he did not sound okay.

"Oh, Gods, Aaden," I said again, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that to
you."

His arms wrapped around my torso slowly, weakly. "Yes you did," he
whispered softly. "I love you."

I held him close and sobbed against his chest, and he held me and cried
just the same. We were quiet together for a few moments, and then he
said "Thank you."

"'Thank you?'" I sobbed. "How can you thank me for that? That was...
that was horrible."

"It was necessary," he said, his hand slowly stroking my hair. I pushed
him away and slowly laid him on the ground, looking at the fur where I
had broken fell. The bleeding seemed to have stopped. A quick scan
between my extended perceptions and Dave's indicated that, other than a
little stress fatigue, Aaden was going to be all right.

He grabbed my hand and held it. "See?" he said. "I know your limits,
Ken. I knew you couldn't hurt me in any permanent way."

"Aaden, I wanted to kill you! I was hating you!"

"No," he said, shaking his head. "No more than I wanted to die. You do
hate some things about me, just like there are some things about you
that I find insufferable. You have a longer list for me than for other
people, Ken, because you know me better. I have the same kind of lists
for you, too. But it's because I love you that I stay with you. I can't
ever hate you, Ken."

"But... why... this?"

"Because I wanted you back. When you're angry and you stew like that,
it's no fun living with you." He reached and ran his hand over my face.
"I know you don't want to harm me, Ken."

I looked down at him. "I know," I said. "I love you, Aaden." The tears
came back, just a little, as I lay my head on his chest. "I do feel
better."

His chest rumbled as he laughed. "I bet you do."

"It's good to get it out," I said. "I'm just glad I didn't go overboard
and do more damage."

"Why do you think I picked the bamboo? As long as you didn't go for my
face or my kidneys, I knew that weapon couldn't do any damage." He
stroked my hair. "Now, will you stop worrying about it?"

I nodded. "Promise me that if you ever need to, you'll do the same thing
to me?"

"I promise." He laughed. "In some ways, though, the fact that I was
snarling and fighting back made me feel better too. I'm glad I didn't
have to keep it inside."

"Come on," I said, rising up. "I'll get you some ginger ale."

"I'd appreciate that." I helped him to his feet and we wandered into the
kitchen. Behind us, a small robot descended from the ceiling and picked
up the shattered splinters of bamboo.

----------------------
The Journal Entries of Kennet R'yal Shardik 
and Related Tales.

The entire archive of stories can be found at:
http://www.pendorwright.com/journals

Copyright 1993 Elf Mathieu Sternberg.
Distributed under the Creative Commons License BY-ND-NC/1.0
Some Rights Reserved. 

--

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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