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Message-ID: <56575asstr$1189253401@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
From: dr.buttz@gmail.com
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NNTP-Posting-Date: Sat, 8 Sep 2007 01:50:37 +0000 (UTC)
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Subject: {ASSM} nobody's watchin' the beanie babies (mm/f, nc, anal, humor)
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Date: Sat, 08 Sep 2007 08:10:01 -0400
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(as told to Dr. Buttz by Flapjack.. I think this happened about 10
years ago at the height of the beanie baby craze)

"Nobody's watchin the beanie babies,
Nobody's watchin the beanie boo.
The beanie baby babe's got
bean bag boobies.
I'm gonna git me some beanie too!"

This was something that me and the axe mrurderer pulled off a while
back, back during the beanie baby craze, when everybody's fuckin
grandma was buying up all them damn things off of QVC and shit.

So me and axe went to the mall, because axe wanted to go to the shoe
department at Dillards and watch the chicks try on shoes, or some shit
like that.

But as we was walkin down the mall, we saw this table full of beanie
babies for sale right out in the middle of the hallway. And there was
this bitch sitting there selling the beanie babies, and she was hot.
Jest a little bit on the chunky side, big old titties. She caught
axe's eye especially cause she was wearin sandals and her toenails was
painted.

We went and smoked a blunt in the food court bathroom, and when we
came back by the table her ass was gone! Nobody was there to keep you
from stealing the beanie babies, and they was some valuable little
bastards back then! So then we hatched a plan.

First, we went to the halloween costume store bought fake cop outfits.
This was before the war on terror and all that, when stuff like that
was easy to get.

Then, while nobody was looking, we put all them damn beanie babies in
a sack and took em out to axe's car.

Then we put on our cop outfits and went and stood next to that table
waiting for that fine chunky mama to come back. Finally she came out
of the women's room. Who knows what the hell she was doing in there
all that time. She just about freaked out that all the beanie babies
was gone and it happened on her watch, and said she was gonna get
fired.

"Fired ain't the worst that's gonna happen to you", I said, "we think
you stole 'em. We're takin you in for questioning. Come with us".

"And take off your shoes", added Axe.

We took her into the dressing room at Sears and said, "take off your
clothes. We got to search you to make sure you ain't hidin' no beanie
babies up in there". When she took her shit off, Axe looked real good
in everything, like in each cup of the bra, like he really thought
there might be beanie babies in there. Then whaddya know, that sneaky
motherfucker had one in his pocket and hid it inside the panties like
it had been hid up in there all the time.

"Well, shit, I said... where there's one there's more! We gonna have
to do a cavi- cavititty- catavititit- look up inside you for them damn
things!"

"What?!!!!"

"I mean I is gonna look for beanie babies up your ass, woman!"

"Oh shit", she said. "You ain't gonna mess with my butt! lemme outta
here!"

"Look, ma'am," said Axe (I can't beleive he could call that bitch
"ma'am" considering the position we had her in, I think he gets off on
stupid shit like that), would you rather we did it here, or take you
down to the station?

"Take me down to the station!", she said. "Gimme my clothes."

"Sorry, ma'am. These clothes are evidence now. We'll have to escort
you out to the squad car just like you are. It's up to you."

"Ok...", she said, sounding like it was a real hard decision. Dumb
cunt believed all that bullshit!

So Axe handcuffed her to the clothes rack with the fake handcuffs that
came with his costume, and I got down and spread them big old butt
cheeks apart. She was so nervous, she farted right in my damn face.

I gave her a smack on the ass and said "Now you better cut that out or
I'll whoop your ass good!".

So I poked my finger up in her butthole, and pretended to be looking
for beanie babies.

Axe gave me a real nervous look, like he was scared we was gonna get
caught if we stayed in there too long. "Well, none in here!" I said.
"I guess we'll go."

We started to walk right outta there, and leave her naked ass tied up
in that room; she said, "wait a minnut, ain't you gonna fuck me in the
ass? I didn't go through all this bullshit not to get fucked in the
ass!"

Well, shit! Not even a pussy like Axe can turn down shit like that.
Then I realized that we was gonna have to do it W.O.N.K.Y. style, With
Out No K.Y. So as usual, I decided to make Axe be my lubricator.
That's our deal, he gets to cum and I get his cum. He went and stood
over that bitches ass and started jerkin off and came in about ten
seconds, it don't take long with a dick that small. Then I rubbed that
cum all around and in and out of her asshole, and she was just a
moanin.

By that time, I got hard so I shoved it in and man was she loose in
there, like she been fucked up the ass enough times to really hollow
her out. Good thing I had the meat to match the motion; Axe would'a
got lost in there.

Axe went up around and grabbed her titties. "Haw, Haw" she said, like
he was tickling her. But she was tied up so she couldn't stop him. The
littlest pinch of the end of one of them gianormous titties made her
laugh. "Naw naw naw!" Finally he stopped just touchin' em and put one
hand on each one and shook 'em like a vibrator. "YAAAAAAAAAGGHHHH!"
She screamed, and I could feel her come. Then I came all up in her
ass.

Then we knew it really was time to get outta there. So we put her
clothes back on her, and told her to have a nice day and sorry for the
inconvenience.

We got outta there so fast that by the time she remembered about them
damn beanie babies, we'd done sold 'em on the internet and spent the
money on weed.

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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