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Subject: {ASSM} Mrs. M, Boy B and Girl G come to stay at Mom's Friend's House  (2005)
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This essay relates the experience of a mother and her two kids who came to
live with us without any background in free and communal sexual expression
and who, being well past puberty, were at an age older than most kids were
when introduced to our lifestyle.  I think the story is worth telling
because it provides some proof, I think, of the validity of my Mom's
philosophy.  Mom developed her views following years flirty fishing for the
Children of God.  She holds that sex is not meant to be a private affair
and that even the smallest children can benefit from knowledge of its
mechanics and of the process and meaning of arousal and that once they
enter puberty every child should be free to explore his or her sexuality.
What kids need to be taught is the science of tribology: an actual science
that deals with . . .  rubbing.Small children will, once they have
satisfied their basic curiosity, have little or no interest in what older
kids and adults are doing together by way of sex.  But they should know
that the rubbing together of post-pubescent penis and vagina is the
quintessential renewable resource and creates fabulous feelings for both.
That mere knowledge will go far to assure positive adjustment, emotional
development, interpersonal relations and their own sexual satisfaction when
they are ready, able and wishing to have sex.  Like most (not all) of my
earlier essays, the emphasis is on puberty and how children cope with its
challenges.  And what they do when they suddenly realize that their bodies
-- penis, vagina -- have changed and are functional and fun-giving.  Unlike
in mainstream society, there is in ours no conception that showing off,
looking at, mentioning or enjoying sex organs and sex could be embarrassing
or perverted.  It says something that 11-, 12- and 13-year olds take so
readily to (especially) oral sex and find it so natural and fulfilling,
particularly when performed among their friends.  But in our case it was
somewhat different: a girl always knew, even at the youngest age, that once
she reached puberty it was proper and normal to want to take any cute boy's
grown penis into her mouth and to make it hard and beautiful.  Provided
only that the boy desperately want to reciprocate, that he see her vagina
as goreous and want to lick it and make it ready for his penis to penetrate
and fulfill.  Even "mainstream" pubescent and adolescent kids enjoy oral
sex and brag about it, as we were reminded by a recent episode of "Judging
Amy":
http://tinyurl.com/6smq5http://judgingamy.tvfans.org/amy/episode/a604r.txt
But they mostly have first to discover it at an age when they are already
confused by hormonal and emotional changes, and this from equally confused
peers.  And, by and large, they don't attribute the mystical and religious
significance to semen that we do.  By the way, a French study showed that
most kids are already watching porn movies by age 11.  There is also the
point that, in CoG thought, or at least in Mom's Friend's interpretation of
it, puberty and arousal and orgasm and ejaculation have a religious
meaning, and indeed the latter are sacraments.  Children's sexual
development should be noticed and mentioned, and boys and girls should be
encouraged to be free and open with each other about their feelings, urges
and needs.  For any kid of, say, 12 or above, interest in oral sex is both
normal and expected.  Not only is it an essential part of foreplay and a
fun and safe introduction to shared pleasure, but it is our faith that the
semen a girl receives she takes as Holy Communion, whether orally or
vaginally: genuinely the DNA, the Body and Blood, of all our predecessors:
of Adam and of Jesus.  This is not blasphemy but fact.(Among us, children
from toddlerhood on were never shielded from the sight of adolescents and
adults at sex.  But neither were they allowed to take part.  Lest new
readers of these essays suppose there is any damage caused by early
childhood familiarization with (not participation in -- that was the
disagreement that caused Mom and Mom's Friend and many others to leave the
Children of God) biology and romance and the physical aspects of sexual
intercoure and oral lovemaking, I invite a review of the previous essays in
this series, which contain many links to articles and court cases.  When
children are damaged, it is often -- just as with the "false memory
syndrome" -- because adults have put that damage there.  Whether or not
those mendacious adults are themselves sexually inadequate, they have a
wrong notion about children's innate curiosity and about the nature of
puberty itself and the injury caused by suppressing the natural human urge
for sexual release.  Many mainstream kids seem either unaware of or
embarrassed by their bodily changes.  With us it is different, and kids are
encouraged to take notice of, talk about -- and, when their sex organs have
developed a bit, to satisfy -- their urges and needs.  The sight of a
pubescent penis erect always invites a smile and a comment from any girl
and any adult.  As I've repeatedly shown with citations and links to
sociological and scientific studies, whether or not social engineers
approve, oral sex is a fact of life among a substantial percentage young
teens -- and for good reason.  Both Moses David, when alive, and Mom's
Friend certainly would approve: once a boy is producing semen he becomes a
sort of missionary; once a girl's vagina has capacity, she becomes the
vessel of Holy Communion.  It makes sense that they should celebrate in
some way their coming of age and that such celebration -- for example, a
coming-out party with a ritualized defloration (and yes, the vagina is
beautiful, like a flower, especially dilated and ready for pollination) is
one way of countering apprehension and excluding rejection.  If, as we
think, the penis and vagina are the most beautiful human parts and the
insertion of one into the other a sacred act, then it stands to reason that
friends and family should share in the blessing and joy of a girl receiving
her first penis.(Yet the law and religion have put their respective noses
where they do not belong, in violation of biological facts and human
nature. In many states an adolescent can be prosecuted for having sex with
another adolescent of the same age or just a year younger: In re T.W., 685
N.E.2d 631 (Ill.  App.  1997) http://www.geocities.com/cobil1/tw-ill.html
(A scholarly legal article on this subject is at
http://www.geocities.com/cobil1/kentucky.html My boyfriend is a lawyer and
I've gotten him interested in this issue.) The mere fact that oral sex even
between consenting adults could have for so long been a felony in so many
states when in fact it is (1) emotionally and physically healthy and (2)
the most effective route to orgasm for many or most girls and women says it
all.  In my research, I found that in the prosecution of Herbert Streicher
(Harry Reems) over the "Deep Throat" movie, the prosecutor tried to inflame
and agitate the jury by exclaiming how "disgusting" it was that Linda
Lovelace (the late Linda Boreman) had semen dripping from her mouth.  (The
appeal on that, which they lost, is at U.S.  v.  Battista, 646 F.2d 237
(6th Cir.  1981) http://www.geocities.com/cobil1/battista.html but
apparently Streicher himself got off; some others went to jail.) As you
will find, Dear Reader, as you continue through this essay, semen is a
sacred as well as a romantic Host, and the notion that semen spurting into
a girl's mouth could be anything but beautiful and wondrous is a bizarre
concoction by zealots of false religions and by perverted social engineers.
To see semen spurt out of a penis or to see its traces thereafter is to
share vicariously in others' joy and blessing.  Of course the corollary of
that is that masturbation is to be regretted: the very reason that girls
and boys should mingle naked and should be encouraged to have sex right
from puberty.  This is how we interpret the Biblical command.  "Go forth
and multiply", after all, says nothing about "marriage"; and it's not
marriage that is the sacrament but penis penetrating girl and releasing its
semen.  Note that even in mainstream life and law, marriage is validated
only by consummation; before that it is voidable.  Some might think our
subculture insidious and subversive; we think not, and indeed there are
tens of thousands in America and untold thousands elsewhere who raise
children as we were raised.  Sex is the most basic, primordial function and
everyone of nubile age and body has a right to enjoy it, and to be seen to
enjoy it.  Now read on.)Mrs.  M, like numerous single women with children,
came to Mom's Friend's House by way of refuge; in this case after her
husband had absconded overseas with whatever money the family had.  Before
her marriage she had been with the Children of God, flirty fishing with
Mom's Friend or others of that circle.  Most -- nearly all -- who came to
stay for however long had children, and usually the kids were used to open
sexuality or at least had seen their mothers having sex and knew something
about penises and weren't turned off by the thought of touching one, etc.
Mrs.  M's were completely ignorant and naive: until the day her husband
left, she had kept her past a secret.  That in itself is far from unusual
among ex-CoG members and their children, and perhaps reverting to the
former sexual openness after the breakdown of a relationship isn't unusual
either.  But in this case the children were older: 12 (boy) and barely 15
(girl), and their introduction to a new, religious and intellectually
philosophical, approach to post-puberty sexual relationships might not be
easy or without grief.  On the other hand, Mom's Friend's House may have
been the only place she could go under the circumstances, an unemployed and
homeless mother.  And, if the only thing that had stopped her bringing up
her kids the way she wanted was her husband's prudery, she was now free to
try to undo the damage.  Or get back at him, if that was her point of view.
Anyway, we had been warned: we would need to be discreet, although we were
scarcely likely to hide our beliefs and customs very much or for very long.
Whereas those of us who had lived for months or years at Mom's Friend's
House (and, as Mom and I did, other similar places) grew into sex quite
like most mainstream kids, albeit at a younger age and more directly),
adolescent visitors who'd never had sex before were likely to experience an
abrupt transition.  In this case, the first step was for the kids to get
used to our easy nudity in the back yard and in the basement.  But perhaps
even more unsettling was for the children to come to terms with their
mother being nude: it seems that neither had never seen an adult body
naked, or perhaps more correctly an adult body intentionally naked.  They
were under no obligation to disrobe in front of us; we always let newcomers
proceed at their own pace in nudity and in sex.  Or not proceed, as the
case may be.  It was right away obvious to us that Boy B had zero sexual
experience, either with others or alone.  Yet he had the telltale dark fuzz
on his upper lip that suggested puberty amd penis growth, and he was cute
enough to attract the interest of several girls and the curiosity of all of
us.  Unfortunately he would persist in wearing baggy boxer swimming trunks
that gave us no hint of what he had to offer.  While -- as my houseboat
story would tell you -- I like to think I was rather good at seducing
virgin boys, by the time of his arrival I was much too old for that; and
the presence of his mother and sister made girls his own age hesitant to
speed things up.  As for the boy, at first unsettled at seeing his mother
for the first time shedding her inhibitions and sunning herself naked
alongside Mom's Friend and Mom, he then started staring at the kids
cavorting in and around the above-ground swimming pool.  At first he tried
to conceal the staring, but he soon lost control.  His eyes would lock onto
penises and breasts and vulvas and his mouth would gape open.  It was
disconcerting even for kids who were used to being watched to have a
non-participant voyeur staring at them.  His juvenile rudeness, if that's
what it was, worked to our advantage since it would give us, in the
fullness of time, an excuse to pounce on him.I suppose that there can't be
any 12-year-old boy in America today -- or even then, a decade ago -- who
hasn't at least heard of oral sex.  For many or most it must be wishful
thinking for years to come.  Readers of earlier essays will be aware that I
grew up in an environment where we were taught that sexual relations are a
religious expression, that the exchange of sexual pleasure is communion
with God, and that semen, indeed, is the medium of Holy Communion.  In our
community, girls and women have an absolute right to orgasm and have an
equal, if not predominant, role in initiating and choreographing sex.  A
distinction is made between passion and romance as part of growing up, and
commitment, which is for later, for having a family.  Boys and girls should
have sex early and often: from the moment of puberty in fact.  Modesty,
embarrassment and inhibition are unknown to us.  Recognizing that half of
all girls do not easily reach climax solely by means of vaginal sex, and
applying our theology that arousal and excitement come from "getting right
with God" and that semen is sacred, we were guided towards oral sex as
foreplay.  Nearly all of us would have seen our mothers and various
adolescents enjoying oral and vaginal sex: our sexual education was visual
and explicit.  And, inevitably, when we were physically and emotionally
able, we would feel the need, and just do it.  Either in the celebratory
"coming out party" I have described above and elsewhere, where a young girl
ready to rid herself of virginity welcomes the penis of a chosen boy in a
choreographed event attended by the two mothers and a few friends, or at
one of our nude dance parties where a girl could have sex more anonymously,
in company with others doing likewise in an atmosphere of rampant
sexuality. Or, like me, when I was just 11, spontaneously with scarcely
anybody noticing.  In my case, it was sort of by accident, while horsing
around with a boy and then tumbling to the floor and finding his penis
inside me.  Readers who have read my earlier essays will know all this. 
There is no doubt that the expectations of peers had effect upon the timing
and circumstances of first sexual experience, but this is certainly true in
the wider world as well and in my view is all to the good.  Families who
were uncomfortable with our way of life and thinking quickly departed, as
did the socially and sexually inept.  I obviously know the response of
girls better than that of boys under such circumstances: as others of my
cohort would start to develop physically, they would express interest in
penises and comment more and more on the nakedness of the boys around us.
And once sexually active, a girl would talk about cuddling a penis and the
texture of semen and so on, and it would make others eager to grow up fast
and share in the fun, the emotion and the chatter.  With her mother no
doubt sharing in that eagerness the only issue really would be the state of
development of her body.  And of course a pubescent boy, probably anyway
older than her at an equal relative state of development, would scarcely be
demanding yet of big boobs, full hips, lots of pubic hair and so on. 
"Halfway developed" seems enough: some pubic hair, little breasts, a
little-big penis, just a bit of semen, and so on.  "If a boy can masturbate
and something comes out, then he is ready to have sex" was something I
often heard said.  Mom's Friend once told me "if a girl sees boys looking
at her bosom and if she fantasizes a penis making love to her she is ready
to play with one".  Lots of mothers think that way, and older sisters and
friends, too.  It's often under peer pressure or parental guidance that a
girl will come to play with a penis for the first time; there's something
cute about her constant looking around for approval at each stage: a boy
will be called over and either he'll be undressed already or she'll have to
take down his pants.  Then, as she starts to touch and fondle his penis it
grows and gets stiff and beautiful; she will kiss it tenatively and,
perhaps after further urging, put it in her mouth.  And her eyes will dart
around as her head bobs up and down and the boy approaches ejaculation. 
I've come to think that it's best for a girl, when she is making love to a
penis for the first time, to continue orally to ejaculation and to
experience the flow of semen into her mouth.  She can take the penis into
her vagina later.  Most young boys are quite capable of a second erection
after a few minutes, certainly after the time it takes for him to bring her
to excitement and lubrication -- for her vagina to open up for him like a
blossom, ready for his penis to slide in and dispose of her hymen.Boy B and
Girl G, then, had to come to terms with us, and the way we lived.  As I
said, we went about involving them discreetly at first, which meant
limiting nudity somewhat and more or less following the nudist code
regarding intentional erections.  But by the evening kids were making love
in the shadows and on the next day in the sunlight, as usual.  By that
second day as I said, Boy B was becoming more blatant as a voyeur. 
Inevitably some of us would respond in a provocative way.  Happy Girl and
one of the boys were on the ground playing, and then they were at mutual
oral sex, girl on top with vagina wide open and boy on bottom with his
penis stiffly erect with Happy Girl's mouth over it, and just occasionally
exposing its tip so that she could kiss it and show it off.  Girl G had
gone off to hide and Boy B was just standing there fixated.  So frozen,
indeed trembling, that Terrific Girl decided she could do with him what she
wanted.  She, nude of course, came up from behind and held him and pressed
her body against him.  He was embarrassed, but still frozen and unable to
move, still staring at Happy Girl moving her head up and down, her lips
pressed against the boy's penis in her mouth at the same time that the boy,
lying beneath her had his face buried in her crotch and his tongue in her
vagina.  He repeatedly kissed her vagina in a sloppy sort of way and, every
so often, rubbed his tongue in circular motions around her clitoris.  His
mouth gaping wide at the sight of what was going on, Boy B could do neither
move nor speak even as Terrific Girl took down his swim trunks.  She had to
kneel down and physically lift up his feet one by one to get them off.  At
that point she turned her head upright and found herself looking directly
at Boy B's penis, close up.  She smiled broadly.I always thought it the
cutest of sights to see a small boy with an oversized penis.  Boy B's penis
was very thick, surprisingly so for 12 years old, but not long.  His balls
were large, gorgeous.  The result was that even when at rest, the boy's
penis, lying on top of his scrotum, sort of pointed forward at you cutely,
its big head very round and the slit at its end delightfully promising and
kissable.  He already had a goodly amount of pubic hair.  The only surprise
was that, with such a beautiful big penis, he had never, from what they
told me, ever tried rubbing it or discovered how good that rubbing would
make him feel.  As I've written, Terrific Girl had a way with boys, even
frightened, dubious boys like Boy B who, once Happy Girl and her partner of
the day had finished and gone off to wash, was now the center of attention.
Some girls approach a penis so dramatically, so sensuously, that their
performance, from first caress and kiss until the spurting of semen, is a
beautiful, delightful show.  It's easy for onlookers to be aroused, and for
them to start looking about for a partner.  This penis had caught our
attention, though, and wouldn't let our eyes wander.  We wanted to see it
come to life.  We wanted to see Terrific Girl change this boy's life with
his first girl-orgasm and his first girl-ejaculation.  Didn't he know that
with a penis like his he could have approached most any older girl months
ago?  Wasn't it surprising that no older boy or even girl (and under the
circumstances of her past, his mother) had shown him how to masturbate? 
Anyway, here he was.  And, for the moment, we had custody of his penis and
we would show him how happy it could make him, and us.The sight of his
semen would be a sign not just of his growing up, of his new life with
girls and sex, but, hopefully, of his baptism to our faith.  Predictably
though, Boy B couldn't, or didn't, get an erection right away.  Terrific
Girl knelt in front of him, bouncing his penis on her tongue and trying to
stimulate and excite it and him.  Eventually he managed a half-erection and
she proceeded to slide her mouth over it, circling its head with her tongue
and the end of each outstroke.  This went on for some time.  Some boys,
when they have their first sexual experience, ejaculate prematurely. 
Others can't, or can't easily, reach orgasm.  Eventually Terrific Girl had
Boy B sit in a chair, forward and with his knees well apart so that she had
easy access to his penis.  He looked, at first, apprehensive and puzzled,
as if wondering what she planned for him.Terrific Girl proceeded to caress
his balls, and then she licked his penis all around and repeatedly kissed
its head and licked its slit, as if trying to gather any pre-cum onto her
tongue.  All the while she told him how lovely is was; he seemed not to
have realized it was anything special.  As his confidence built up, it got,
in due course, reasonably stiff if not fully vertical.  What I could then
see, though, was that his penis had the most gorgeous shape.  Its head was
big and almost perfectly round, not cone-shaped but more like the ball of
ice-cream on that other kind of cone, one that a girl loves to lick.  I
could see Terrific Girl was enjoying herself, proud to be seducing this new
boy, proud to be in charge of his lovely penis.  But still, she had to use
imagination and technique to get and keep it reasonably hard and it must
have taken 10 or 15 minutes before we detected jerky movement in his hips
and smiles and drips of semen on her face.  There was no bobbing up and
down of her head -- the combination of thickness and relative shortness of
penis made that impractical.  Hers were, rather, mainly tongue and lip
movements and kissing, and occasionally just running her tongue around the
circumference of its crown.  Boy B made neither movement nor sound.  But
soon there was semen all over Terrific Girl's mouth and drops of it on her
breasts from when she ran out of breath to suck it in.  She licked off what
she could reach with her tongue; the rest she left where it was as a sort
of trophy.  She hugged and kissed her boy.  He didn't shrink back from the
hugs and kisses, even though Terrific Girl was getting semen on him too,
and probably a bit even in his mouth.  We then all told Boy B that he was
expected to reciprocate and asked whether he wasn't excited about exploring
his girl's vagina and making her happy, and being a lover.  He couldn't
answer; he was still in a daze and under Terrific Girl's control.  We were
raised to think of penis and vagina as the most beautiful, holy parts of
the body.  A penis becoming erect is a manifestation of the Holy Spirit. 
Almost as soon as I began my sex life -- I think it was even the same day
that I took that boy by the hand into the basement of the first communal
house we lived in and hesitatingly put his penis in my mouth and showed off
to friends that I, too, could swallow semen -- it became a thing of pride
to have a boy I was talking to develop an erection.  And the erection had
to be seen by others: for his and my mom to see it was an affirmation of my
personality and femininity.  For me to accept it and for them to see me
kiss it was an affirmation of our sexuality and his masculinity.  It's for
this reason that we -- most of us, anyway -- think that oral sex in front
of friends is a demonstration of beauty and a gift of arousal and joy and
religious devotion.  To make love to a penis and have it reward me with
semen in a way that others can see and enjoy is a blessing to us and to
them.  There is an urgency to this, a need to feel God's grace in the form
of sexual response and sexual release and Holy Communion; and a normality,
too, because, stripped of inhibitions artificially instilled in us by
self-rightious elders fearful of their own inadequacies, we achieve
empowerment, fulfilment and joy.When kids came to us at puberty who had not
been raised in as sexually open an environment or family as we were, they
often didn't share that excitement and appreciation, at least not at first.
Our first step had to be to banish their embarrassment at erection and to
develop in them a sense of semen's special purpose beyond human conception.
They might never free themselves of social convention to the degree we did,
but almost all would become successful romantic partners.  It was
surprisingly easy to get a girl to take pleasure in boys' public erections;
and also to get her excited at the sight and taste of seminal fluid
leaking, by way of anticipation of her body, from an erect penis.  Learning
to handle large volumes of semen streaming rapidly into her mouth involves
both technique and mental adaptation, though; the motivation to do it and
the pleasure eventually derived come both from seeing the incredible
enjoyment and supportive appreciation of onlookers.  There is a holy aura
about a girl receiving semen; while this is best learned in toddlerhood, it
can be developed at any age when you are among friends and family who see
public sex as a blessing, never an abasement.Suffice to say, a boy who has
never heard of cunnilingus except to make fun or it or to have it described
as sodomy and perversion, needs more than a little coaxing to get him to
kiss a clitoris and to put his tongue in a vagina.  But by now, Happy
Girl's boy had another hard-on and the couple made a show of putting the
hard penis into her vagina and of exhibiting its lovely in-and-out
movements.  Terrific Girl promised Boy B that if he made her vagina really
wet and if he excited her and dilated her vagina, his penis would fit in
easily, and he would become one of us, grown up.  I have to say, though,
that Boy B's demeanor evinced a certain amount of reluctance, even if he
obeyed.  He started out by playing with Terrific Girl's breasts, which she
encouraged; and she stroked his penis and played with his balls before
sitting in the chair and first having him stroke her vaginal area with his
hand, then pushing his hand away and guiding his head into place.  He
hesitated, and then his tongue came out and he stroked the inside of her
labia.  Terrific Girl pulled her labia apart and pointed out where she
wanted him to lick and kiss, and what else he should do with his tongue to
get her excited.  She wouldn't let him stop until she reached the cusp of
orgasm; then she slid off the chair, lay down on the ground, pulled him on
top and stuffed his penis inside her.  From that point on Boy B's movements
came naturally: his hips and rear moved up and down in a cadence -- not
far, because his penis wasn't that long.  We just enjoyed the sight of his
penis going in and out of her vagina and the increasing confidence on his
part that was reflected in his purposeful movement.  At a certain point
Terrific Girl decided she wanted to see his penis again, and she pushed Boy
B's body upwards and raised her head and smiled.About the time that Boy B
started licking Terrific Girl's vagina, somebody had gone to get Girl G and
told her that her brother was making love and that she should watch. 
Apparently she didn't want to, or wasn't eager to, but soon there she was,
in her bikini top and bottom, watching.  One of our sexiest 16-year-old
boys was dispatched to chaperone her.  At first she pushed his hands away,
but as her brother's penis picked up pace and moved in and out and as Boy B
got the faraway look on his face of a boy chasing after a distant orgasm,
she lost the ability and will to stop her escort from taking off her bikini
top and playing with her breasts.  Her boy's penis was fiercely erect and
very beautiful and we couldn't understand why it didn't captivate her and
why she didn't respond to it.  But she wouldn't hold it, or touch it, or
even look directly at it.  The couple kissed, but then, as his penis
repeatedly pressed against her body she started to cry and he moved a bit
away and just tried to encourage and cheer her and, perhaps, groom her for
sex on another day.  At least we'd got her half-undressed: her breasts were
small and round and bouncy, her nipples substantial, the way many boys
like. I'd seen all this numerous times before, and I knew that in a day or
two she'd have a penis inside her.  She just had to get the measure of us,
get to see how much fun we had and to realize -- as all of us had done --
that virginity is an obstacle not just to fun but to growth and to
religious devotion.  She needed to taste and feel and love semen and she
needed to learn that she had a capacity for and a right to orgasm.  And
that she could excite boys and play with their penis and make them
exceedingly happy and grateful.  Finally -- because it did take quite some
time -- we saw that Boy B had again ejaculated and he pulled away and lay
down beside Terrific Girl, exhausted.  She sat up and played languidly with
his penis for a few seconds, then kissed him and went away.  I wanted, at
this point, to tell Girl G that if Terrific Girl could have taken her
brother's very thick penis into her vagina so readily and without
complaint, surely that lovely but average-sized penis of the boy she was
with would be perfect for her first sex.  But in the end I didn't say
anything.The next day, Sunday, Boy B got up and, unsurprisingly, went
looking for Terrific Girl.  As it happened, she was with another boy,
playing with that other boy's penis already.  It was early in the day for
sex, but she was making a point: she did not belong to Boy B and he would
have to find his own partners in future.  As it happens, that wasn't hard,
at least for the first weeks and months.  Eventually it's the boys with the
nicest personalities who would get the most girls, the most sex.  But a new
boy, a pubescent boy, one with a penis as grand as Boy B's, would be busy
as every girl would want to take turns having his penis in her mouth, in
her vagina, tasting his semen, having him taste her, getting his approval.
There were, as a rule, always far more girls actually living at Mom's
Friend's House than boys.  For one thing, Mom's Friend's principles
centered on women's rights and their entitlement to sexual assertiveness
and spiritual growth through sexual satisfaction.  Our nude dances, for
example, were entirely managed by girls, even down to pairing off couples,
although we almost always accepted self-selected partners, or dates.  The
health issue made it important for us to have sex only within a closed
circuit of kids between puberty and 18 years, something that was impossible
to police at older ages.  (Never mind what George and Laura Bush and their
cretin friends say: abstention sucks, and limiting sex to a closed circuit
of healthy friends is 100% as good as mongamy and abstention for the
prevention of disease.) That meant that I, for example, had at any one time
an immediate circle of a dozen boys around my age, with perhaps two dozen
more as occasional visitors.  For those exposed to a wider population,
casual sex without condoms, including oral foreplay and playing with semen,
bear risks once even a single partner is promiscuous in the general
population.  The title of that song "I've danced with a man, who's danced
with a girl, who's danced with the Prince of Wales" sort of says it all. 
When school was out there would always be extra boys around.  Those of us
girls who organized the events -- mainly dances and yard parties -- had to
manage the numbers, which we did by a rule of exception: boys, with very
few exceptions, had to bring a girl unless they were known to us and were
"special" in the sense of personality, character, penis, etc.  In fact,
often girls would nominate a boy; if it was up to the boy he would often
have to bring a sister or cousin occasionally the "girl next door" --
usually someone he would not be having sex with.  Cousins were OK for that
(in other words, we never had any reason to discourage cousins from having
sex.  I published some time ago the account of two married cousins, though,
who'd had to go to Florida to get married because not too many states allow
it).  Mom's Friend had strong feelings against incest, sex between persons
related closer than cousins.  (Her view was that a mother or father or
sibling should take intellectual pleasure, not sexual pleasure, out of
seeing a family member at sex.) I don't think it ever happened at our
place. I've written a few times of the varying responses of brothers and
sisters to seeing a sibling with penis in mouth, or even being deflowered.
Those who'd grown up with common family nudity took this for granted, but
not all the others did so.  And outsiders often don't understand that there
is no sexual implication to family nudity or family members having sex in
each other's presence: it's just a matter of taking for granted the
performance of a natural bodily function and appreciating that a loved one
is giving and being given pleasure and joy, both physically and
spiritually. In this context the latter is the more relevant of the two.  I
will come back later to Boy B's rapid adaptation to an active sex life. 
Girl G's was far more complicated, both because she was female and had been
spoiled by social dictates -- the discriminatory and suppressive double
standard that conventional religions and police controls impose.  Ridding
her of her unwanted virginity would be, in itself, less of a challenge than
ridding her of false modesty and inhibition and making her understand the
holistic value of sex.  It isn't that girls aren't fixated by penises and
don't mostly love sex, but that they have been taught, most of them, that
taking a penis in mouth and, certainly, swallowing semen, is humiliating or
at least naughty.  And they have almost all absorbed the fiction of romance
as permanent (or semi-permanent) relationship rather than as passion: a
minuet leading up to the mutual kissing of genitals and sexual release in
the presence of friends and family.  A coalescing of joy and religious
devotion: one's real partner in orgasm and ejaculation is God, and the boy
is His proxy.  That is the notion behind flirty fishing, the Children of
God's version of evangelism.  New religions are, almost by definition,
experimentation and searches for truth.  Old religions claim a monopoly on
truth, something we never claimed for ourselves.  Like the Mormons when
they conveniently decided (the "Great Accommodation, Sept.  24,1890) that
polygamy (polygyny) was no longer ordained by God just at the time that
Utah sought admission to the Union and, at the time of Napoleon's Grand
Sanhedrin their elders decided that Judaism was compatible with the First
Consul's (essentially Christian) Civil Code, the Children of God regularly
fine-tuned its catechism, mainly in the form of Mo Letters from Moses
David. Mom and Mom's Friend had walked out of the CoG though, quite before
it fell into apparent debauchery (discussed in the articles I posted to my
web site at http://www.angelfire.com/co4/cobil ).  What bothered them was
David Berg's encouragement of cross-generational sex, to sex with and by
pre-pubescent kids and the favoritism shown to and the coercive demands by
church leaders.  Mom argued that children and toddlers had the right to
know what adults did, what sexual organs were for, but that puberty was the
watershed.  And that nothing harmful or painful or unpleasant or unwanted
should be allowed.  Sex was for physical and spiritual joy, not for
pleasure at someone else's expense.  The goal of life is lifelong
happiness, and the aim of each individual is maximization of good works,
etc.  together with founding a family.  Post-adolescence, monogamy should
be encouraged; but pubescence and adolescence were for learning and fun and
indiscriminate experimentation.  As it happens, we had sexual taboos too:
"normal" sex with us -- as, I think with most people, was limited to penis
in mouth and penis in vagina.  There are, of course, other possibilities
but they were not part of our repertory.  If somebody tried anything other
than pairing off in couples and having oral and vaginal sex in parallel
(i.e., two or more couples each engrossed in their own lovemaking even if
in the same room), in a pattern of "monogamy for the day", I never saw it
and I should have thought it gross.  We weren't, obviously, having sex
daily except maybe in summer and school vacations when it could be
almost-daily.  Our dance parties at Mom's Friend's House and at the homes
of compatible, similarly-inclined communes, groups and families had
assigned (or, as I said, sometimes self-selected) coupling.  Otherwise,
there was some of the same posturing and self-promotion by boys and girls
as in the outside world.  I can't say, of course, that there was no
"posing" at the dance parties, because of course the contrary is true. 
Boys and girls from 13-18, and a few precocious 11- and 12-year olds were
there nude, prancing and dancing, and the whole point was to parade their
nudity, breasts, penises, vulvas.  And semen and the pleasure it could
bring.  And to enjoy not just the music and the dance gyrations but the
process of arousal and excitement and orgasm and joy.  (And, yes, to think
about changing partners for the next time, trying out a new body and,
through a sort of competition that was not a competition, keeping partners
on their toes, so to speak.) The striking thing was that because it was the
joy and blessing that were paramount, physical beauty was less vital.  If
we accept that penis in mouth and vagina and tongue in vagina are the
"meaning of life" and the ultimate in beauty and sense and sensuousness,
then a Miss America Pageant cannot be our model.  Neither can any porn
film. Vicarious pleasure is there, for sure; but at these parties the means
are the end: the ambiance, the sex, and -- the ejaculation.  I got Mom's
Friend to agree with me that girls and boys should be encouraged to attend
such parties regardless of age just the minute they were seen to have
sexual capacity.  It gave a sence of community and a sense of continuity;
and none could go home without having absorbed our sense of the sacred in
sex.Sacred it was: the nudity and the orgasm.  But it was also fun.  The
only difference between us and ordinary teens is that we expect that most
casual encounters will end with girl's climax and boy's ejaculation.  Our
aim with somebody new was to entice and arouse and have fun in a way that
satisfied biblical commandments and natural law.  Our encounters, though,
were not frivolous.  As I've written, girls could be explicit and we
certainly were just as eager for casual sex as any boy.  But,
unsurprisingly, our attitudes changed with age: while kids of different
ages can certainly have great orgasms with older or younger partners, once
you attribute a religious purpose to sex personality and character and
compatibility take on even more importance than otherwise, and Mom's
Friend's Rule (no more than 15% difference in age) made sense.  Anyway, for
12 or 13 or 14-year-olds, the non-issue of "virginity" was often the issue.
I've told how I used to love seducing pubescent boys: well, a lot of girls
as well as many boys take special pleasure in being the "first partner" of
a pubescent or adolescent teen.  In fact, when I saw Boy B's penis for the
first time I had to think back to a time years before when I seduced an 11-
or 12-year-old boy and while his penis was in my mouth his father walked in
on us.  The upshot of it was -- and this says more about the father than
the boy -- that I wound seeing the boy on a regular basis, about once a
month, for the next year, enjoying his penis and watching it grow, and sort
of measuring that growth over time with my mouth.  The payback was that he
had to bring me to orgasm too, plus his father had to drive us over to a
film or a show.  I was always a bit unnerved though because his father
wanted to watch what I did to his son's penis each time, and what the son
did to my vagina.  This in itself wouldn't have bothered me if it hadn't
been for his (the father's) obvious erections.  Eventually I put an end to
relationship, or project, having accomplished my goal of seeing a boy
through the stages of his puberty.Seducing virgins, boys or girls, can be a
fetish, or a matter of innocent evangelism -- that "flirty fishing".  The
borderline is indistinct because it depends on attitude, whether the
initiator is motivated by his (or her) pleasure or by the pleasure and
welfare of the virginal partner.  Boys who were chosen by girls' mothers as
partners for their daughters' deflorations (not all that common, but there
must have been a couple of those a year) might themselves be virgins and
they might fumble a bit.  But their personality, as well as the state and
impressiveness (not necessarily size because a too-big penis can hurt, but
beauty and what I would call "kissabiity") of their penis, was important.
And the kind of motivation and self-confidence that made a boy "reliable"
for a defloration party were the same for any girl's first date.  I guess
the right term is "adaptability".  To see the countenance of a mother as
she would watch her boy's penis sliding a girl's vagina on such an occasion
-- and again, as one sensed his ejaculation into her -- had to reaffirm the
commitment of any of us to our way of life.  It was the same for the mother
of the girl.  One had a real sense of the spiritual on such an occasion;
the anticipation and then the ecstasy of the boy and the girl -- for with
counseling beforehand and oral foreplay right before the penis always
penetrated smoothly and firmly and, if not painlessly then happily --
testified to the event's holiness, its blessing.  As for the boy: there are
boys you meet, and while your first interest is his face, he exudes some
mystical aura that right away your eyes move to his penis and you want to
cuddle it and take it really close, put it in your mouth.  And if the penis
is really round and really stiff and really lovely, you want right away to
have it.  And for him kiss your vagina, and so on.  It was such a boy who
would be chosen by the girl and her mother; it would be his penis that we
would see and love and -- we girls at least -- want to play with ourselves
in future days.This was the kind of boy we called on for Girl G.  His body
would impress her, but he wouldn't force himself on her or try to rush
things.  He would "love bomb" her for as long as it took for her to take
off her bikini bottoms on her own, for her to pay attention to his penis.
If he and we were lucky, just when Girl G would be most vulnerable his
penis would produce some seminal fluid at its tip.  I never met a girl who
did not get excited by her boy being excited: every girl, I think, looks
for and wants to take on finger and tongue that drop of pre-cum that
confirms that her boy desperately needs her.  I think even girls who have
never before touched a penis must realize how precious it is.Once Girl G
had gone topless, of course, there was no going back.  Swimming,
volleyball, board games, even impromptu dancing in the garden and just
chatting brought her more closely into our circle of friends.  And always
her beau shadowed her, keeping up witty conversation.  And there in the
background, mixing with a younger crowd and learning all about the
permutations and possibilities of sex, and from time to time ejaculating
into some girl's mouth or vagina with no sense of shame or privacy, was
12-year-old Boy B, her brother with the lovely penis that even Girl G had
to, and did, admire.  Through all this, there are ways of "accidental"
touching, and of a boy showing off his penis, and of a girl becoming less
and less apprehensive.  As other girls could be seen assertive, encouraging
boys to fondle their breasts, to caress their clitoris and, as girls would
teasingly play with the penis of today's boy and admire his erection, but
put off penetration for hours, Girl G warmed to the notion of sex.  I think
there was some talk about pre-cum when some girl saw it on the penis of her
date.  Girl G copied another, and put finger to penis tip and then finger
to tongue.  That, I guess, was the signal.  The crowd expected now to see
finality; the boy knew how far he was allowed to go and he embraced the
girl: they kissed and then he spent forever kissing her breasts, and his
fingers moved to her vagina.  I think it was one of the other girls who
said something about a "hindrance" and pulled off Girl G's bikini bottoms.
That was the signal for the boy to move his mouth to her vagina.  The girl
freely moved her legs apart: she had given permission.  (I think she was
ready anyway and that her reluctance was staged pretense, but that's just
the opinion of one girl who hasn't known very many 15-year-old virgins.  I
met a 16-year-old boy virgin once, and I promptly seduced him, but he was a
special case: he hadn't even started puberty until he was 15.) His tongue
went in and around and the sensation was obviously fantastic and life
changing for her.  She didn't resist when he moved his right leg over her
body and now his penis was stiff and bobbing about over her mouth and she
really had no choice but to kiss it and take it inside.  Now the boy was
caressing her clitoris with his tongue and at the same rhythm lifting and
lowering his hindquarters, finding pleasure for his penis in her mouth. 
Older Girl whispered in her ear to close her lips more tightly on the
penis, to massage it with her tongue; Girl G tried to obey.  She came
first, and her shriek disrupted her boy's march to orgasm.  He went on
kissing her vagina and she went back to work.  After a few minutes her
clitoris had obviously become over-sensitive, and she couldn't go on.  Her
boy moved around and smiled, got on top of her and his penis was inside
her. There was another shriek of sorts, and then some whimpering and tears.
Contraception?  She would start taking pills today, but it would be over a
month before she was "safe" for vaginal sex.  There was a call for a towel,
Boy B rushed over with a wet washcloth.  The boy wiped off his penis and
asked, most desperately, for Girl G to take it back into her mouth.  He
stood in front of her; she kneeled and put her mouth over his penis,
tentatively at first, perhaps worried what she'd do when semen spurted into
her mouth.  (Although I more or less had to figure it all out by myself, in
Mom's Friend's House sex education was more organized and explicit.  By the
time a girl was ready for sex her attention would have been drawn to the
miracle of ejaculation and if only out of curiosity and questioning she
would have learned the importance of continuous lingual contact and
friction with the head of a boy's penis as his ejaculation proceeds.  She
will also know what to do with the semen as it spurts out and as it
accumulates in her mouth.  Of course Girl G, being new, didn't have that
advantage.) Girl G had seen that among us spitting was not an option.  It
couldn't have been more than ten strokes before we saw semen streaming down
her boy's penis and glistening on his balls.  She couldn't respond to the
waves of liquid fast enough, but it seemed to me she swallowed some.  And
her boy lay her back down on the ground and kissed her.  And then he wiped
the semen off it and put his penis back inside her vagina for a coup de
grace.  When his penis came out it was coated with bloody mucus.  At almost
all our planned deflorations, a girl's mother starts her on a cycle of
pills a month or two beforehand.  There are accidents, and people have
spoken of abortions in the past, but I can't cite any particular case of
one.  (Moses David did not believe in abortion or, for that matter,
contraception, and in his community there were many "Jesus children".  Of
which, as I've said, I am one.)There is an important point to be made
parenthetically here.  For those of us who grow up appreciating nudity and
genital beauty, the penis and its beauty have importance and deserve
attention for their own sake and for what they mean to the girl as much as
for their quality as instruments of making the boy happy.  The boy is in
our circle of friends, but we do not have sex with him to catch and hold
him but just to enjoy the blessing and pleasure of his penis.  This is why
it's so important for a girl to be able to see the gorgeous penis as it
enters her vagina at the time of her defloration, and why she and the boy
should be positioned to make that possible.  And it's also why she should
take the penis into her mouth first, whether or not the boy has already
achieved an erection.  (The point is that, with us at least, the girl is to
be in control.  The boy presents himself to the girl; he is standing and
she is seated.  This may be the first time she has been this close to a
penis; she will play with it and make it stiff and kiss it and enjoy it. 
When she is ready, she will have the boy kiss her vagina and make her ready
for penetration.  I have described this before, and explained how this is
part of our belief and how it is a right and a rite of feminism.  And how
this should never be done in secrecy and in shame but always in
celebration, with friends and mothers there to share vicariously in the
kids' ecstasy and in their Holy Communion as semen passes from boy to girl.
It's one of the tragedies of mainstream life that a girl cannot share the
joy, pleasure and beauty of her first contact with a penis, her first
experience of having it get big and stiff just for her, her first reception
of its lovely and sacred semen.) It's amazing and delightful to see the
wonderment in a girl's eyes as she grasps a penis for the first time,
brings it to her lips, makes it big, shows her apprehension over what will
happen, what she will do, when semen starts to spurt out of it.  (It's just
as cute to see a virgin boy urged on, of course, and that's true whether
his penis is statuesque or early in its growth.  Above all is the
satisfaction of watching the boy's demeanor turn from apprehension to
confidence and joy as he ejaculates for the first time into a girl and sees
his own semen leak from her mouth, from her vagina.  Especially with the
nodding approval and vicarous pleasure of his mother, and with other girls
there who make it clear that they, too, will be wanting to share his penis
and his orgasm.  From now on, an erection in public would be only a source
of pride and, with luck, seduction for the boy -- never a source of
embarrassment or cause for covering himself up.  With luck, from that
moment on the boy would be conscious of his sexuality and instinctively
want to show off his penis to the girls, for example by sitting forward in
a chair, his knees wide apart.) Girl G did not have that background, hadn't
seen other girls experiencing that rite of passage, and hence it was not
natural to her -- yet, or perhaps ever -- to have the urgent need to
embrace the penis of her partner without prompting, and then to watch it
entering her vagina in her first sexual experience.  That said, Girl G was
now among us and one of us.  Her boy continued to shadow her until evening,
and stayed the night with her.  Then he disappeared to go to his summer
job. She was now in play.  One could see that she was waiting for her boy
to come back, but he didn't and he wouldn't until the next weekend.  By
that time she'd fallen for another boy, and then another.  She was in play,
and enjoying her role: choosing her penis -- all pink and circumcised and
beautiful and sexy.  A few times she had vaginal sex with a condom, but our
ethic called for semen as Holy Communion; after the second time with a
condom she was introduced to contraceptive foam.  But, like Terrific Girl,
she seemed happiest with oral sex and came to love showing off her vagina,
high in the air while she took a boy's penis in her mouth and he licked at
her from below and sucked at her vagina and put his tongue inside, pink
against pink.  She would remind us how beautiful, lovely, passionate and
sensuous and pleasurable it was.  Sex with friends about is sex to arouse
and to be copied.  To have among us an active, eager girl who is excited
about her new journey was delightful.  Frankly, we rarely saw a 15-year-old
virgin: most girls began sex by 13.  (Indeed, the article I have linked to
above notes that the average age of first sex for boys today is under 14,
and for girls 151/2.) Many were at oral sex almost as soon as they had
discernable breasts and a bit of pubic hair.  (The whole point for us was
to recognize that our bodies were changing, and while we were going through
puberty and our genitals were growing we should be using them and growing
into sex.) And while Boy B had a lovely, mature penis, any boy among us who
had a half-grown penis and a bit of pubic hair was likely to be sexually
active.  I don't know if it was that their mothers pushed them forward,
although it might have been: I've written about the mystical relationship
between mothers and their boys' penises.  In the outside world, mothers
tend to be protective of their girls' virginity.  With us it was the
reverse: a mother would want her girl to have a baptism of semen as soon as
she was capable, and to learn to assert herself, to arouse boys at the mere
sight of her nudity.  Breasts are, as we all know, a mysterious weapon. 
And for a girl to grasp a penis and show off what she can do, and to make
it ejaculate for her and to enjoy its semen; and for her to make her boy
want to bring her to climax with his mouth and not only to accept but to
love mucus and blood and to put up with the complaints and demands and
eccentricities that girls, especially assertive ones, have, that was the
essence of our growing up.  And that was now Girl G's life.  Mrs.  M did
not watch her daughter's defloration.  And while a 12-year-old boy would
often rush to show off to his mom his first prospective partner and want
her to see his erection and his ejaculation and such semen as he could
produce cascade into or onto her, a 15-year-old girl was beyond that and
into the age of discretion.  She could be seen from a distance, she was
neither falsely shy nor falsely modest.  She would develop a style for
herself, and I often saw her seated on the floor with her legs crossed, her
vagina moistened and her labia showing as if challenging boys to
proposition her.  Like most of us, she loved to be surrounded by boys with
erections.  I think her mom took some satisfaction in how quickly she had
learned to make love to a penis and to enjoy semen, how she had come to
terms with our practices if not wholly appreciating our beliefs.  Like the
rest of us, she learned how to let just enough semen spill out of her mouth
for orgasm to be seen to be done and for the semen to be seen to have been
swallowed, not "spilt on the ground", as Onan was cursed for doing.  And,
indeed, her mother could show her that sex is ageless: you never outgrow
your need for sex.  (Although, to be honest, frequency of sex does diminish
for most people, most women anyway, with age.  This is, of course, one more
argument for encouraging kids to begin sex just as soon as they have the
capacity to do so.)The dispatching of Girl G's hymen although it was
impressive and fun did not have the drama or the classic beauty of the
13-year-old Big Breasted Girl's first sex at the dance party: her boy's
gorgeous stiff penis hovering over her vagina for long seconds and then
suddenly moving down to penetrate it while we looked on, ourselves still in
the glow of orgasm.  Or the more choreographed coming out parties where a
girl would be seated on the bed and her boy would approach her and she
would embrace his penis and he would kiss her vagina and then, when she was
ready we would typically help her lift her legs up and away and the boy
would direct his penis into her gaping vagina, arousing us in the process.
Sex is always lovely, even when it's different it's the same.  The more
visible the better.  Virginity is burdensome; losing it is a rite of
passage for pubescent and adolescent girls.  There is no doubt that having
sex for the first time with friends around to support her is best for a
girl.  It's also important for her to play with the penis first and
afterwards, because she will always want to remember it.  The best orgasm
is always the one you are having, or just had.  But the best penis seems
always to be the first one you played with and took in your mouth and your
vagina, and which gave you your first taste of semen.  Even if you had to
taste it by putting your finger into your vagina; or perhaps by squeezing
the last drops out of the penis with your lips, milking it of its essence.
I always thought that before taking her first penis into her mouth a girl
should study the countenance of an older girl at the moment semen is
streaming into her mouth: she will see, among us at least, the faraway look
of a girl receiving Holy Communion.  And so it is.  At the very least a
girl will, or should, have an air of studied commitment and of anticipation
of her own orgasm.  Or the remembrance and tingling of a climax and godly
vaginal communion just enjoyed.We were, as I said, cautioned not to have
sex with anyone who not within 15% of our own age.  I suspect there was a
legal basis to that: nobody, or almost nobody, is every charged with
underage sex for having consorted with someone his or her own age.  Boy B,
though, had this magnificent penis.  As I said, to see a young and small
boy with an oversized penis is cute and joyous and any girl or women must
feel the urge to give him an orgasm, to fondle his penis and testicles and
to make him happy.  Its perfect, round head was, and I'm sure still is, a
joy to play with and kiss.  (I had a photo once of such a glorious huge
penis with a girlfriend of mine kissing its tip and sucking the semen out
of it, but I seem to have lost it.) The couple of times I held Boy B's
penis I just loved to run my tongue forever up and down along the slit
trying to elicit some seminal fluid before putting just the head, up to the
crown, in my mouth and running tongue and lips over it until semen would
stream out.  There was a certain naughtiness in doing the forbidden,
especially, or even, when there were special reasons for the violation
being winked at.  I hae to say that by the time I got to him, Boy B's penis
had been cuddled by so many girls, younger and older, that he himself had
developed sophisticated technique.  Even Mom (whom I'd contrived to be near
when I made my move on it) commented to me how impressive his thick penis
was even when at rest, and how much more so when stiff and glistening with
semen.  To make him come, I had used the technique of running my tongue
around and around its head, so when he ejaculated his semen bounced against
my lips and tongue and much of it dripped back onto his penis and balls. 
Actually I think that for the boy, there is somewhat more pleasure for the
boy when the head of the penis actually enters your mouth fully and presses
against the inside of your mouth and your tongue; but given that he had a
full orgasm and ejaculation, he couldn't complain.  And it was far more
enjoyable I think for onlookers first because they could see all the semen
coming out, and then me licking it up.  As I've said, impressive penis size
never was important to me because (1) I so love having a penis in my mouth
and kissing it all over, and a too-big penis is unwieldy (as well as
sometimes painful in my vagina) and (2) boys with huge penises, at least
boys of 16 or above, tend to be supremely arrogant and I hate arrogance
above all things.  (By the way, or an interesting (if otherwise irrelevant
to this discussion) account of remedial penis surgery, see a story in the
Sunday Telegraph (UK) of April 10, 2005:
http://www.angelfire.com/co4/cobil/russurg.html .So, Boy B's life was
changed forever.  I hope he was trained not to become arrogant, and during
the years I knew him -- age 12 to about 14 -- he certainly was not.  Like
all boys, his penis, and making love to a girl, was never far from his
thoughts, though.  I would see him nonchalantly fondling himself, but then
that's what nude kids, both girls and boys, tend to do when there's no
social rule to stop them: it's a sort of signal of readiness, of
availability.  And since boys with us lost their monopoly of initiative,
this would give a girl an opening to take charge of his penis.  Or if the
boy was clothed, to undress him.  I've written how girls often brought a
"present" over to another, visiting, girl.  It was lovely to see Boy B
presented as a present and have some girl of 12 or 13, or even once or
twice of 11, pull down his pants to reveal that lovely penis, which would
invariably start rising as if on command.  The protocol called for the girl
to play with the penis and the boy to undress the girl; of course their
arms would conflict.  A smart girl would just put the penis in her mouth
and leave her arms loose while the boy fussed with her top.  Of course
she'd have to let go of the penis for her top to come over her head,
though. Given the curious beauty of Boy B's penis, and given that not all
girls are like me and many do want to have a really big penis to play with,
the boy's size and age often seemed to be ignored.  The problem with that
was that one tended to forget he was a little boy and to think of him as
the bearer of that grand penis, and as a semen donor.  Even Mom's Friend
couldn't do or say anything to suppress the want, or to keep us from
allowing ourselves to be seduced by this funny, happy boy with the
brilliant penis that always seemed to be erect.  Admittedly, once or twice
with that penis would be enough for most girls of 14 or above.  One depends
for sexual enjoyment on conversation as well as orgasm: I've always
wondered how men could appreciate a mail-order bride or a war bride from a
country with a strange language they can never hope to master.  Perhaps the
difference is that we were intellectually and philosophically sexy and
sensitized: almost all of us would go to college; sociologists and
advertisers speak of social classes in terms of discrimination and wealth:
A (upper middle class), B (middle class), C1 (lower middle), C2 (skilled
working), D (working), E (lowest level of subsistence).  Despite Mom's
Friend's status as a trust fund brat (her parents had set up a
discretionary, spendthrift trust for her when she ran off with the CoG
because they knew that cults drain all the assets from their members.  And
indeed, scientology, the Children of God, and all the others did and do
exactly that.  So, when she left, her trustees bought her a house and gave
her an annuity to raise Older Girl on.  And of course Terrific Girl's dad
paid his share, and many of the lodgers paid rent.  So, we were, I think
classed as "professional" even though my own Mom never earned much more
than minimum wage and her only "savings" are the life insurance policy that
Mom's Friend made her buy to pay for my education.  But which she still has
since I went to college on the cheap.  As it happens, as close readers of
these essays will remember, I went two years to community college and the
last two to state university and had a scholarship; and Mom is now
uninsurable since she's got a wasting disease.  (Mom keeps telling me that
the policy will now be my inheritance.  It makes me sad; and anyway my
inheritance is (1) my education and (2) the experiences she let me have.)
Anyway, to return to the subject, without Mom's Friend's Help, we wouldn't
be Class B.  But we're educated and intellectual, and I think that, and
sex, are the most important things in life.  And we lived frugally, which
is no shame: not to smoke, not to drink much, not to waste money at the
mall.  The best things in life are free, etc.  Well, sex can be: it's only
greed and pride and some of those other deadly sins that make sex, or
getting any, expensive.  The most memorable occasions for interplay with
Boy B and Girl G were at the nude dances.  They moved in different circles,
of course: a 15-year-old girl and her friends are likely to have little in
common with 12 to 14-year-old boys.  But girls can be catty, and an older
sister will always be critical of any girl her brother is making love to:
her hair isn't right, her breasts are too saggy, she has too much or too
little pubic hair.  And -- for the sisters among us -- more to the point:
she isn't solicitous enough of his penis, closes her eyes too much, doesn't
look happy enough when his semen is in her mouth, etc., etc.  Girl G, like
most sisters, might find her eyes wandering from her own boy's penis, if
she had it in her mouth, to her brother's.  This was a pity because her
style was really good and we liked to watch how, when she brought a penis
to ejaculation in her mouth, depending on its viscosity she would either
gather the semen on the head of the penis for us to see, or let it trickle
down the sides of the penis.  In either case she would recapture most with
her tongue and swallow it sensuously.  I don't think a boy being fellated
likes the girl to be paying attention to some other boy, even if it's her
brother.  Especially if the other boy has such a thick penis and is very
popular, and even though with incest out of the question there is no
competition involved.  A boy is all the more likely to get upset if his
girl loses her cadence and delays his ejaculation, or lets his penis get
soft.Older Girl had in her early teens been one of the great show-offs
kissing and licking penises and I guess she thought herself an expert
critic, because when she got too old to attend our dances she would
sometimes come by anyway and wander about the floor making comments. 
Especially when she saw girls and boys engaging in oral sex with their eyes
closed; or boys not doing what she considered a proper job of oral sex.  On
one occasion Older Girl told Girl G that she'd be best off sticking with
mutual oral sex, and that because she was slender and her rear end not too
big and so never an embarrassment to have high in the air, she should
always be doing that when our dancing tapered off and our sex started. 
Girl G started insisting on doing it regularly from then on.  Soixante-neuf
takes a lot of concentration.  Unless you get selfish and are so immersed
in your own pleasure that you stop moving your lips and tongue with
commitment both partners are guaranteed a good time, and bystanders too. 
If the whole point of a dance is to see and be seen, either oral sex or
Mom's favorite position, with the legs up high and the vagina visible from
all angles so the entry and exit of the penis is fully visible, are the
most exciting and attention-getting positions.  Some couples liked to do
oral sex early in the evening and then dance for a few hours, and then have
vaginal sex.  Really there is nothing more delightful than four hours or
more of embracing a nice body and feeling a penis inside and outside of
you, and admiring and being admired by others.  And, of course, having
multiple orgasms over several hours.  Any teenager should be capable of and
eager for that.  And you can see the anticipation on the faces and in the
bodies of kids dancing and chatting.  Everyone would take for granted that
there would be sex; which is why that story of the Big Breasted Girl was so
special: it wasn't entirely clear that she knew, or planned, to get rid of
her virginity then, and she was watching the rest of us with her boy
standing next to her with his erection.  And then the two of them,
spontaneously, made the move that I've described: it was so natural and so
lovely.  The point of this essay has been to describe how both one family
as a unit and two adolescent kids from that family responded to a change in
lifestyle and life philosophy, accommodating our sexual openness.  In my
opinion the greatest success of their coming to stay was that after a
couple of weeks Boy B, Girl G and Mrs.  M.  became so open and uninhibited
in each other's presence both in terms of making love and in talking about
it or in Boy B's case, just having an erection.  At a certain point at
puberty or shortly afterwards, kids are, or should be, drawn to feel the
potential for arousal, the tingling in the groin, at the sight of a
potential sex partner.  Boys, of course, feel this more readily and more
often; girls, if they ignore the impulse -- as manifestly most can, more
easily than boys -- are foregoing a blessing as well as great delight.  The
tingle in one's groin is really a message from what Thomas Jefferson liked
to call "Nature's God".  There is no reason to hide it, and the sex that
results, from family and friends.  The false logic of mainstream religions
and of society, drawing from those religions, is that there must be a
direct application to adolescents of the commitment and exclusivity
expected of married persons.  The teen years are for learning, for fun, for
sport.  And for experimenting with sex, to learn to discriminate.  I've
several times written how knowledge about sex and about one's own sexual
needs makes choosing a life partner far more rational, and -- anecdotally
anyway -- seems to reduce substantially the rate of marriage failure later
on.  Among other things, one becomes more rational and realistic about
bodily beauty when the truth is not always cosseted, corseted and covered
up.  And because it is the penis and the vagina that are, indeed so
beautiful and so complementary -- and magnificently so at penetration --
bumps and wrinkles elsewhere on the body lose importance for us.  A girl
with a mouthful of semen exudes sensuousness even without make-up.  A boy
with his tongue -- or his penis -- in a girl's vagina is not only
expressing the meaning of life but is sharing his godliness in holy coitus:
it is not matrimony which is the sacrament, it is the exchange of bodily
fluids for which no special dispensation or solemnization is relevant or
needed or wanted.  I think that all of this came together for Boy B and
Girl G the first time they saw Mrs.  M with a penis in her mouth.  As I
said, sex is ageless and families should have no secrets and no need for
privacy.  Sexuality and sex and exchange of sex fluids are bodily
functions; they are only "shocking" to the uninitiated because of some
social diktat.  I think Mom's Friend told Mrs.  M that she could confirm
the children in their way of life by sharing it, and so Mom's Friend
invited over an acquaintance of Terrific Girl's dad, a guy who shared our
background and our beliefs, and who (being a weekend dad or maybe having
joint custody) came over with his own daughter the day of a dance party. 
We could see that the man's relationship with his daughter was very frank.
In fact the girl told one of my friends that she'd always been fascinated
by her dad's penis and that well before she started puberty he'd discussed
everything with her and started bringing her around regularly to Mom's
Friend's House.  Hers was the one and only defloration party I know about
where the girl's father and not her mother was present to celebrate penis
penetrating hymen.  I wasn't invited, but I heard it went well even though
both she and the boy were very young.  Being that young -- 11 or 12 -- and
being sexually active could be hard at Mom's Friend's House because there
wouldn't be a lot of partners available of that age, and it really isn't
appropriate for an 11-year-old to be having sex with a kid two years older.
The way the 15% rule worked, a kid of 132 months (11 years) could have sex
with one of 152 months (121/2 years).  While we were arranging things for
the party in the basement, the adults were out in the backyard in
regulation uniform, i.e., undressed, seated in lawn chairs and chaise
longues.  As I heard the story, after an hour of conversation and a couple
of drinks the acquaintance started talking about his own nude dancing 20
years before, and, with music playing in the background, proposed that they
act out a round of dancing.  They started kissing more than dancing, and
his penis was erect, and he changed from kissing her lips to kissing Mrs.
M's vagina.  By this time somebody contrived to get Boy B and Girl G over
to ask their mother a question, but they couldn't very well ask it just
then because they'd moved around and she had her man's penis in her mouth
and wasn't paying her kids any mind.  The lesson they got was that oral sex
is not just child's play.  And, having seen their mom reverted to her
pre-marriage state, before they were born, free again and with a smile on
her face and semen dripping from the corner of her mouth, they had
something special in common, something cross-generational, something
eternal.  And also reinforced was the important lesson that love is for
families: it is passion and romance that are for couples with capacity to
share a penis and share orgasm and share semen.  (I will not address,
beyond stating it, the conundrum that while one is admonished to use a
condom for casual sex, really nobody is willing to use a condom for oral
sex.  So there are risks.) When one sees semen as a gift from God and as
bearer of DNA as far back as Adam and as proof of passion and joy one
easily gives the lie to those who would see mockery or humiliation in girls
who give and receive pleasure that way.  To me, for a boy to admire my
physical attributes and to be aroused is to make me, in a sense a
clergywoman.  His erection confirms my existence and offers me passion. 
But, as we taught those two kids, the boy has to assure the girl, 100% of
the time, her right to pursue an orgasm.  That responsibility is impossible
to escape when the kids are not having sex in secret, but have friends
about who want to see and enjoy the sight, sound, and aroma of climax,
orgasm and ejaculation.  When a girl takes a semen-coated penis from her
mouth, shows it off, and then sucks the semen back into her mouth to
swallow she has paid the ultimate compliment to her friends, her lover and
herself.  Within a month Girl G was doing this with panache: I think having
seen her mother doing likewise attested to how normal it is.  At dance
parties we always liked to invite, to meet new friends.  Friends of
friends, mainly: they had to be properly introduced.  The whole point of
mixers like that is to expand a bit our closed, safe universe of partners.
One understands that absolutely, positively, you are allowed to have
unprotected sex only within our group of families and communes.  That, for
us, is chastity.  I was not on the guest committee then.  Terrific Girl and
a couple of others worked out who would dance with whom.  As I've said,
sometimes guests would exchange or shuffle partners, but once a pair had
started to make love they were bound to each other for the evening.  On
very rare occasion, once or twice that I can remember, a girl (usually)
would get mad and storm off home.  The one time I had any responsibility
for guests I was able to phone around and find a 15-year-old girl who had
tried too late to sign up, and Mom's Friend drove over to get her.  That
was unusual, too.  Mostly parents brought their kids, except for kids over
16 who had driver's licenses.  We didn't want any kid having sex at our
place without parental approval, and we wanted to assure ourselves that the
parents were genuinely committed on a religious or philosophical basis to
principles of liberal sexuality, including freedom to have sex from puberty
on.  We didn't want some mother trying to claim, later on, that she "hadn't
known" that her son or daughter was sexually active.  It may have been a
decade ago, but we were attuned to the problem that Michael Jackson is
facing now: that some mother would send a kid over knowing full well that
we were holding a sex party, then feign horror that the kid had sex and
accuse us of having corrupted him or her.  And sue.We had different rules
and customs over the years.  I liked best when the assigned couple
undressed each other and got to touch the sex parts of their partner right
away.  After pulling down my boy's underpants I would always play with his
penis for a minute or two, just by way of teasing him.  Other girls would
do likewise.  Or maybe, when her boy took off her panties, she would show
off her the inside of her labia, promising him later pleasure or perhaps
reminding him of where his tongue should be.  Some girls worried about
periods and sex; I didn't, and I didn't think any boy who was put off by
blood was worth a second glance.  If there was a virgin -- like the Big
Breasted Girl -- she was always likely to be given pride of place.  Not
because virginity was good, but because having an intact hymen was
something of an embarrassment to us and we wanted to see her get rid of it
and have fun.  As I said, there were certain boys who would do anything to
have the opportunity to deflower a girl -- which is why Mom's Friend
preferred to offer these girls a coming-out party.  But a lot of girls,
perhaps most, didn't want that.  At a party they thought they could get
lost in the crowd, while still having community support.  In real life,
though, everybody would stop and watch, the way we all did the Big Breasted
Girl.  Since it took a while for a boy, kissing and sucking at a vagina, to
make the girl really excited and desperate for the penis -- and to banish
any fears she might have of pain and make her vagina so dilated and moist
that even a big penis would slide in quickly and easily -- by the time a
new girl was ready for her penis everybody would be watching.  No girl ever
changed her mind at that point.  Probably, as with the coming-out party,
she would get on one of the sofas, friends would offer to hold her legs,
and the boy would point his penis towards her vagina, look for a nod or
signal or a word from one of the friends, and his penis would slide firmly
all the way in, preferably with the target girl watching closely.  I can't
remember any hymens that needed a second thrust to get broken, but I have
heard such stories.  For the most part, girls were totally committed and
eager, even if they'd never laid hand on a penis before.  And almost all
would have stayed with us for a while beforehand and seen sex close up,
seen our use of oral sex as foreplay, and so on.  Bear in mind that whatver
pressure there was to engage in sex, to get rid of virginity, came from
peers and parents, i.e., almost always from girls and mothers.  I like to
think that this was by way of subtle encouragement, not ever ridicule or
compulsion.  The point was that girls, whether sexually active or not,
regarded boys' penises, as objects of interest and as icons -- religious
icons, even -- and as playthings.  Boys themselves were under pressures
from their own peers that I never well understood; I saw and understood
better the influence of mothers in their sons' sexuality, as I've said. 
You can imagine that this whole process of "sexualizing" and of developing
curiosity and desire, of habituating self to nudity and banishing
inhibition was compressed, for Girl G, into just a few days.  Once
liberated of virginity, Girl G adopted our ethic and our culture quickly
enough.  I don't know what effect Mrs.  M's hidden views had on her, but if
like most mainstream girls she earlier made a connection between "love" and
sex, she quickly abandoned it and like the rest of us took pleasure in
being pleasured.  As well as playing with a penis for its own sake.  And
having fun and taking inspiration from the semen that she made a penis
produce.  Or showing off her sex parts to arouse boys unilaterally and
gratuitously, showing off as much to other girls as to the boy himself.I do
not mean to imply, from the fact that I've written nearly exclusively about
the positive aspects of early, free and open sex, that there were not the
usual teen jealousies and petty spats.  Those are part of the human
condition, I'm afraid.  There was, of course, competition for popular boys,
there were indeed fashions of a sort for particular styles of boy and girl:
music, sport, intelligence, artiness, physical prowess, hair all had their
day.  Or hour.  Boy B created his own sort of competition in the weeks and
months after he came because girls heard about, or had seen, his penis and
wanted to see if size mattered, or if it was true that a bigger penis means
that erection is less sustainable (the theory relates to blood supply), and
so on.  One girl, a precocious not-yet-12-year-old who'd come over for a
3-week stay, heard about Boy B and his grand penis and right away went over
to him and said in a loud voice "I want to see your penis!" When he didn't
respond, she tried to feel it through his jeans.  Then she whisked off her
top, grabbed his hand, and led him downstairs.  We all ran after them to
see what was happening.  The girl had her shorts and panties off by the
time she reached the bottom of the stairs.  For her age she had decent hips
and more pubic hair than I would have expected, and not shaved or anything.
But almost no boobs.  Boy B wasn't fast enough for her in undressing, so
after he'd got his shoes and jeans off, she pulled down his briefs and --
as she said -- fell in love with his penis then and there.  She just kissed
and kissed it and stuffed it in her mouth even though it distorted her lips
and cheeks.  Then she lay down on the floor and challenged him to put it
inside her vagina: "make me ready!" she cried.  We could see her cute pink
insides as he went about her vagina and clitoris with his tongue.  But I,
for one, got bored at their child's play and went about looking for a penis
for myself.  Eventually I phoned around until I found a boy I liked and I
told him the story and he rushed over with his penis and we had a
delightful time.  He got there after the kid-couple had decoupled; it's
always nice and always arousing to see a girl relaxing, her vagina wet and
sticky after a bout of sex and her boy nearby, tired out.  She was still
playing with Boy B's big penis, kissing it lightly, trying to make sure
that afternoon was an event to remember.  That 11-year-old had an
interesting background.  I think her parents were old-style CoG or The
Family.  She had not only been shown the mechanics of sex early -- her
parents, or her father anyway, had sex in front of her, and at one point
his sometime partner showed her how semen would spurt from her father's
penis if it was stroked -- but they'd taken regular vacations in some sort
of nudist arrangement.  A few months before the event I just described,
she'd been on one of those vacations and she'd noticed that the penis of a
particular young boy, immature the year before, had changed and grown since
she'd last seen it.  The boy's sister and another girl importuned her to
touch and fondle that penis and see how big she could make it.  She did it
and then the boy got her to lie back on some pretense and he started
playing with her vagina and before she knew it his penis was inside her. 
She was speechless; the sister and friend cheered them on.  Hearing the
noise, her father went over and caught them in flagrante delicto.  But
instead of admonishing or punishing her as she sort of expected, he
congratulated her for being so grown up and said that because her breasts
were so undeveloped he hadn't realized her vagina was ready; that it was
too bad she'd missed out all the sex she could have enjoyed for however
months it was.  He told her that knowledge is power and that the more she
knew about the penis the more popular and more powerful she would be.  He
(I assume it was he) found another, older boy, and had the boy teach her to
suck his penis to ejaculation.  From then on she became completely
uninhibited and very slutty in dress and demeanor.  Her father must have
liked her style: he started bringing her regularly to Mom's Friend's House
and would at least occasionally watch while she accosted boys and gave oral
sex.  You could see his groin move while he watched her mouth working on a
boy's penis.  You'd have to read the newspaper articles I posted on The
Family to understand that sort of parental consent.  Given her dad's
attitude and the way she'd entered into sexual activity it's unsurprising
that she wasn't very respectful of Mom's Friend's rules, limited and
liberal they were.  She had a tendency try to disrupt other conversations,
relationships even, that were going on rather than looking for an
unattached boy or waiting to target that boy on the next day.  I never got
along with her.  It's one thing to put on a demonstration of nice oral sex
to get those around you to link up as couples and to arouse them to do
likewise.  I also felt that she encouraged, with her antics, sexual
aggressiveness on the part of boys, something that I feel and have always
felt is uncouth and uncalled for.  A boy should be proud of his penis,
happy with his body, and should enjoy seeing and being seen.  But he should
never be allowed to take for granted that a girl will do him any favors, or
that he is king of the settlement and has an entitlement to "blow jobs at
will".  Romance is more compatible with passive self-confidence than with
aggressive self-aggrandizement.  When I was among a minority of girls in a
room (or yard) of nude teens, all of us taking the measure of the members
of the opposite sex with a view to making love later on, I could see that
other girls agreed with me, and ignored the one or two obnoxious guys. 
Unsurprisingly, our rule that a boy had to be sponsored by, or at least
accompanied by, a girl -- a sister, for example -- at nude dance parties
kept down the number of unfortunate incidents there.(As I've mentioned
earlier, there are whole Web sites devoted to the art of oral sex.  Some of
the best are on university servers; a semi-commercial one with some
sensitive photography, is http://www.oralsextips.com and it includes a
lovely photo of a penis still bouncing on a girl's tongue after having
given up its semen: http://www.oralsextips.com/gallery/3427x010.htmlMy only
objection to the picture is that the girl's eyes are closed: mine never
would be, and Mom would have admonished me if they were.  Fellatio is as
much for the delight of the girl as the boy, and it's only because of male
chauvinist idiots that the notions of receiving and swallowing semen as
humiliation and bukkake as ultimate humiliation could ever have arisen.)
It's another thing to shout out invitations to oral sex disruptively,
interrupting an attempt by another girl or boy to set up a liaison and just
blatantly offering on-the-spot fellatio.  Or doing it in the wrong part of
the house and messing up the furniture or the carpet, not cleaning up after
yourself, and so on.  Also, she spoiled it for some of us by not always
demanding that boys perform cunnilingus and bring her to the brink of
climax before finishing with their penis or letting them penetrate her. 
God knows I'm all for the Constitutional right of everyone to the pursuit
of happiness, but not when it is malicious or tramples on property rights
or vested interests, if you know what I mean.  (For what it's worth, I
think this girl's case shows how much better it was when introductions to
sex were managed by mothers rather than fathers.  And this is true for boys
as well as girls: normal mothers, however fond they are of their boys
penises, do not get aroused by them or let their anxiety or eagerness for
the penis to grow and ejaculate semen interfere with their good judgment.)
Our sex may have been casual, with a different partner each time from our
circle of friends.  But this was not promiscuity: there was reason, a
religious and philosophical and didactic basis, to our variety of partners.
To get back to my story, on that day the boy I was with at the time, and
who saw the incident of the slutty girl and Boy B, said he'd never seen
anything like it, that he'd wished he'd been cared for like that at age 12
(well, he should have met me then), and that he didn't even know what sex
was until he was almost 14 and had started to play with his penis.  His mom
had heard that masturbation was harmful and his dad thought that it could
lead to homosexuality, and so they joined a nude weekend with a number of
sexually-open families at the country cottage of one of them.  And through
that he came to know about our dance parties.  (This was a typical means of
introduction for people unconnected with the CoG.) Even though he couldn't
dance decently he was popular enough and would come just for the music and
the sex.  Girls would put up with it because he had other things to offer,
or we thought he did: his penis for one -- it was one of those that you
occasionally see that was thicker at the head than at the base, a lot
prettier than when it's the other way around.  He also had manners, which a
lot of young boys don't.  Mom liked him, too, and he didn't seem at all
embarrassed when he heard Mom telling his mother on another occasion how
nice his penis looked when erect and how lucky he was that he could really
put out a forceful stream of semen.  I didn't tell her then, or ever, that
his semen had been voluminous because I'd spent an hour prior bringing him
repeatedly to the verge of ejaculation and then back down to earth, so that
when I finally let him come by just licking around the head of his penis it
sort of exploded out of him.  Of course it fell back down on my hand on his
penis, and I couldn't recapture it all.  But it was too much to ingest
anyway: I got plenty to taste and to swish around in my mouth.  His penis
is grand, too, in its way: but as I've repeatedly said, the whole point of
sexual freedom as a young teen is to learn to put such things into
perspective.  Having enjoyed some of the grandest penises in the land I can
judge sexual adequacy (in its literal sense) and judge serious prospects
for long-term relationships with expert knowlege about sex and formal
education in things intellectual.  Besides, as I've written, I knew and
made love to my boyfriend's penis when it was still growing.  I seduced him
on the houseboat, and came to be introduced to him again years later, just
by chance, by a friend who noticed he'd originally lived in Our Town too.
Small world, big life.  I've written about that before and you can find the
story indexed on my Web site.When I took The Blond-Haired Boy to see Mom
some time ago I really wanted her to see his penis the way it is today, and
I particularly wanted her to see it fiercely erect and glistening with
semen.  A penis fulfilled, and before it has had a chance to soften, is the
most beautiful sight in the world.  Mom remembered him from the houseboat
and she had to be impressed how he'd grown up.  She pointed out something
I'd missed, though: in the moments between our finishing our fun and our
walking over arm-in-arm to see her, some more semen had seeped out of its
tip.  Mom pointed to it and smiled, and I kneeled down and sucked it off.
How nice!  It is only in our kind of honest family community that a
daughter and a mom can relate to each other that way, with no barriers at
all, no pretense and nothing hidden.I hadn't planned to write this essay
because I thought I had said all I have to say.  And, after all, our sex
was rather stylized and based on our out-of-mainstream beliefs (which I
have adequately adumbrated over the past two years).  Furthermore, our sex
is performed with the same biological assets everybody else has, and aside
from describing how pubescent kids react when they are free to disrobe and
cavort, I didn't see how it was possible for me to say much that is not
already in the public domain.  There was, however the recent spate of
articles about the Davidito case (which you will find linked and archived
on my Web site), and the issue arose in my research for work of kids
suddenly faced with culture change by a parental separation or divorce
after years of growing up under conventional norms sheltered from (i.e.,
deprived of access to) sex.  The purpose of my essays, which long ago I
called a "manifesto", is to dispel the fear and loathing and the
assimilation to "pedophilia" that sex between consenting, informed
adolescents is so often confronted with.  And the false supposition that
the viewing from a distance by a child of an erect penis being fondled by a
naked female could be corrupting of morals or damaging to psyche.  A child
may wonder at the sight of a stream of semen, just as s/he may wonder at a
Yellowstone geiser, but s/he is scarcely likely to be harmed unless it is
directed at her or him.Never mind what you have read elsewhere about the
sight and knowledge of explicit sex being dangerous for children.  I have
based this story on my childhood diaries and this is how it was when I was
there.  No children were harmed at Mom's Friend's House.Love, Carol (I
appreciate the comments readers have given, and, sometimes, accounts of
their own family's experience with the CoG.  I don't have time to reply,
though.  I hope you understand.  I have a real job as analyst/writer on
political and social affairs and these stories are meant only to record a
lifestyle that, much as I would like to think I can justify and promote it,
has probably had its day.  Especially now that the Religious Right have
tossed democracy to the winds and seen fit to try to impose their law, even
if it means packing the courts and ignoring the general will for
laissez-faire in private matters.  We considered setting up a foundation to
promote family autonomy in matters of childraising but quickly found that
if we did that we would become targets for all the crazies in America who
want to impose their own look-but-don't-touch mores on everybody.  And who
fail to distinguish between genuine child abuse by those in positions of
power -- in the double sense of loco parentis and government/social service
agencies -- and kids just playing with their peers and enjoying their
bodies.)----------This essay was originally published in 2005 and is
repeated here without change (except for updating or URLs) because of the
closing of my former Web site.  (c) 2005 by Carol Cobillard (who knows: I
may yet become famous like Catherine Millet or Pauline Reage (Dominique
Aury).) A provisional table of links to documents and articles cited in
this and other essays of mine is now online at
http://tinyurl.com/2ggver(URL checked on June 28, 2007 and it supersedes
the one given in last week's essay)

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