Message-ID: <55846asstr$1178946602@assm.asstr-mirror.org> X-Original-To: ckought69@hotmail.com Delivered-To: ckought69@hotmail.com X-Original-Path: n59g2000hsh.googlegroups.com!not-for-mail From: rache <rache696@yahoo.com> X-Original-Message-ID: <1178935486.078106.199600@n59g2000hsh.googlegroups.com> Mime-Version: 1.0 NNTP-Posting-Date: Sat, 12 May 2007 02:04:46 +0000 (UTC) User-Agent: G2/1.0 X-HTTP-UserAgent: Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.8.1.3) Gecko/20070309 Firefox/2.0.0.3,gzip(gfe),gzip(gfe) Complaints-To: groups-abuse@google.com Injection-Info: n59g2000hsh.googlegroups.com; posting-host=124.6.164.213; posting-account=qBK25Q0AAACTpvYY3RGCixMIsuvRRKwm X-ASSTR-Original-Date: 11 May 2007 19:04:46 -0700 Subject: {ASSM} Lenia Bound Pt.1 by Rachael Ross (M/f, Teen, First, Rom, Cons, Med, Dogs, Beast, Oral, Preg, Fantasy, SciFi) Lines: 1893 Date: Sat, 12 May 2007 01:10:02 -0400 Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail Approved: <assm@asstr-mirror.org> Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d X-Archived-At: <URL:http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2007/55846> X-Moderator-Contact: ASSTR ASSM moderation <story-ckought69@hotmail.com> X-Story-Submission: <ckought69@hotmail.com> X-Moderator-ID: Sagittaria, dennyw Lenia Bound Copyright 2007 Rachael Ross all rights reserved. Intended for immature adults only. Story Codes: M/f, Teen, First, Rom, Cons, Med, Dogs, Beast, Oral, Preg, Fantasy, SciFi Lenia Bound by Lisa Oquias I'd put it off as long as I could. But I was sure my parents would sense something different about me. I mean, I hid the morning sickness pretty well, and really it wasn't that bad. Just once in awhile and mostly at night, not in the mornings at all. My tummy wasn't showing yet, but my breasts were more sensitive, a little puffy I thought. But that could have been my imagination too. I wondered for the hundredth time if I should really be talking to both of them. Maybe getting my mom alone would be better. Certainly not Daddy though, he was so over-protective as it was. When he found out, it was going to be bad. I needed to tell him though, mom wouldn't tell him. She'd want to, just to protect me, but she also knew that I had responsibilities...and owning up to the fact that I was pregnant was one of them. It was all David's fault anyway; I frowned at myself in the mirror. I looked blurry and I wiped at the fog from my recent hot shower. I'm only 16 anyway, just really starting to feel comfortable with myself. Or I was. It seemed like every month for the last two years I'd changed, becoming someone else. My boobs got bigger, my baby fat started going away. My body started looking like I had some muscle tone instead of just soft all over. People used to say I was cute, now they told me I was beautiful. But here I was, changing again. I put the palm of my hand on my tummy, pushing a little, just to see if I might be able to feel anything. But I couldn't, of course. It was still too soon. But sometimes I could feel movement, just a little and the first time it happened, just a few days before, I'd sat down and cried. I don't know why, I wasn't sad or anything. I think I liked it. But I'd only felt it twice, maybe three times since and that third time might have been the pizza I'd eaten earlier for lunch. I leaned close to the mirror, looking at my face. It looked like I was crying again, because my hand had made little drops of water where I'd wiped it, and they ran down my reflection slowly. My green eyes were clear though, maybe a little tired looking, but not so bad. Not like I feared. I'd been having a hard time falling asleep. I licked my lips and opened my mouth, looking at my white even teeth before I brushed them. I'd been looking through pregnancy stuff. You know pamphlets and articles in magazines. Not really looking for it, not being obvious, but when you really are pregnant...Well, I'd never noticed those things before. But now I saw it everywhere I looked. One thing I'd read said that babies steal calcium from the mother. There was an old saying in the article, 'Have a baby, lose a tooth.' I'd worn braces for eighteen months. The thought of losing one of my teeth, even one of the ones in the very back where no one would know, filled me a very real fear. I was drinking about a gallon of milk a day now, I think. Another reason my parents were wondering about me, or so I thought. And David. I'd called him, when I'd gone 6 days late and really started to worry. "David?" I held the phone close to my mouth, cupping it as I whispered. "I'm late!" "Huh?" He was drinking something and it was annoying, that soft electric gurgle. "I'm late. I think..." I looked around. "I think I'm pregnant." "Really?" That noise stopped then. "How, uh...late? you mean your menses...right?" "Period, David. yes." I frowned at him, even though he couldn't see it. "Six days. I've never..." "Okay..." "...gone six days, David, and..." "Right, okay Lisa..." "...I'm scared David!" "Can I talk?" He used his sarcastic voice, maybe knowing that it would at least snap me out of my panic. Anger was better than panic, right? "Thank you. Have you tested yourself?" "Tested? No. What test...I'm late I told..." "Girls get late all the time, believe me." He sounded hesitant, doubtful even and I'd expected a bit more excitement out of him. But David has 5 sisters, and he is a doctor, so he did know what he was talking about. I knew he'd seen his share of panic. "...But I..." "Even girls who are never late, Lisa...Now listen, I'll meet you right after school tomorrow, okay. Just come by the clinic first thing and we'll find out for sure." "But I have cheerleading and..." I was suddenly reluctant; bad news can do that to a person. I went to the clinic every day, but now... "Cheerleading can wait, Lisa." He chuckled softly. "Besides, if you are...pregnant...then cheerleading practice becomes a little...pointless, don't you think?" I wished he hadn't said that. I'd almost calmed down. "Oh God!" I moaned into the phone. "But you said..." "Shhh...Quiet now, go lie down, read a book, paint your nails or something and...I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" I nodded uselessly. "Do you think..." "No, not right now. It was just one time, Lisa...A really small chance, okay? Now I'm going now...so you relax." "But..." I sighed. He was right, as usual. "I love you." "I love you too, Lisa." His voice was gentle, as it always was. That had been almost a month before and one time had probably been enough, at least for me, and we'd done it...a lot of times. I was very pregnant. David bought me an ice cream cone at Baskin-Robbins after we found out. We took our cones outside, into sunshine so bright it didn't seem like there could be anything wrong anyplace. But there was. "What am I going to do?" I sat on the top of a plastic picnic table, my feet on the bench next to my book bag. David sat like a normal person, on the bench on the other side, facing my back and his voice seemed to come from no where. "You're not going to get an abortion or anything, right?" He was worried suddenly that I'd change my mind, now that I really was pregnant. "No!" I hadn't even considered that as a remote possibility. I was seriously Catholic, but even if I wasn't, the idea of killing...of doing that..."No." I shook my head. "Good." He was crunching his waffle cone already and I'd barely eaten any of my pistachio. "But what am I going to do?" I repeated, feeling like I was going to cry. I wished it was raining. "Don't do anything. Just...take care of yourself." I felt his hand rubbing my back. "You'll be a good mother, Lisa." I snorted. "Right." I jerked away from him. "Thanks a lot. You got me into this, it's your fault, you know!" "Oh, now Lisa..." He sighed. "You weren't complaining either." "No." I knew he was right, I hadn't been complaining. I'd been excited and hot and...and irresponsible, I told myself. David had warned me, told me what could happen. Asked me if I was sure and I'd smiled and giggled and flirted and done everything I could to get...pregnant. But only because I hadn't seriously thought I actually would. I swallowed hard and tossed my ice cream away. A tear was running down my cheek. "I'm going home." I picked up my book bag and I didn't look back. "Call me, Lisa." David said as I left. "I need to see you. Every day, remember?" "Yeah." I wiped at my cheek and waved over my shoulder. I'd feel bad later for wanting to hurt him like that, but... =-=-= Part of being Catholic, maybe the best part, is the guilt. And I don't mean that in some weird self-abuse way. I mean it in the sense that guilt is in our nature. We're born guilty and then baptized, and then we sin, and we go to confession...It's a natural part of our lives. To have regrets and seek forgiveness. I was comfortable with it. I liked it. "Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It has been 2 weeks since my last confession." I said the words the way I always did at St. Benedict's, but this time they felt...heavier. Like they meant something. "The Lord is listening, my child. Confess your sins with an open heart and the Lord will forgive you." "Yes Father. I, uh...I lied to my mom, a couple times about going to my friend's house after school. I went to...see my boyfriend. And I swore, I said damn once, when my pen leaked at school. It ruined my skirt Father and made a blue spot." I paused knowing I was avoiding what I wanted to say. "On my thigh." "I see..." It was quiet for a long time and I wondered if father McDougal had gone asleep. But he hadn't. He just knew everything there was to know about confession. He'd been a priest for 51 years, at least that's what he always said. I sighed. "Father. I...I'm not a virgin anymore." "Uhhhh..." He made a sound and I didn't know what it meant. We sat there a few minutes, quietly. "I had sex and um..." I swallowed and squinched my nose like I do when I really don't want to say something. "I'm pregnant. Father." I started crying then, not a few little tears either. This was the cry I'd been waiting for. It was 10 days after I'd found out I was pregnant and I hadn't...let it go. I pulled up my knees, hugging them to my breasts and I wailed, rocking and bumping my back again the heavy dark wood behind me. It hurt, like a headache, like a cramp in my tummy. It hurt like someone was dying and I couldn't stop it. I cried for a long time and Father McDougal left his half of the confessional and came to mine, opening the door and helping me out. he gave me a handkerchief and brought me to the side of the alter, by the statue of the Virgin Mary and we sat down on the steps there, at her feet. I hid my face in that white shroud of cloth, soaking it with shame and afraid to look up. "Am I going to hell, Father?" I asked softly. "No." He was very close to me and his voice was old and dry like sandpaper. "I didn't mean to get pregnant." I rolled my head on my shoulders. "I thought...I just thought..." "Does the father know?" He asked me gently and I nodded. "And how does he feel about it." I didn't say anything. I couldn't say anything. I only sat there and shivered and so Father McDougal doubtless thought the worst. "I've been a priest 51 years, Lisa and I've seen this before." His voice was meant to comfort, but his words were only making it worse for me. "A child is a great gift, however it comes. But too often we forget that and we see only the problems, only the fears such a miracle brings...As any miracle can bring. The task is not to deliver the baby, that will happen in its own good time. What we must do is reconcile this with our families, his and yours. The way must be prepared through love and compassion and understanding." "But Father..." I glanced up through puffy eyes and a veil of damp blonde hair. He smiled and shushed me. "Talk to your family, I'm sure they don't know yet, do they?" His watery eyes, grey and alert, stared knowingly into mine. "Talk to them, it will be difficult, but you're a strong young woman, Lisa. You don't have to be afraid, believe me. Your parents will overcome their fear and anger and you'll find that life is not over." He shook his head, still smiling. "But only beginning anew." I nodded, fearing my voice should I try to speak and we said the Act of Contrition together, there with Jesus on one side, bloodied and sad; and his Mother on the other, Mary, quietly triumphant in her purity. I felt like an imposter and it was a relief to leave that church. =-==-= I'd seen David every day, even on weekends, for almost 3 months, but now it was different. It was more...real. He did his best for me, keeping my spirits up. Checking me to see if I was gaining any weight, or whatever. I didn't really know. He checked my blood, for sugar I think he said once, for other stuff too. He was incredibly excited by it all and at times it seemed infectious and I would find myself smiling, laughing the way I used to. But at other times it annoyed me, his casual attitude. He didn't know what I was going through. His promises of support fell on deaf ears. I didn't need him, I would scream, running crying back into the street. Walking home alone. It was time. There was only one cure for what was hurting me so badly. I had to tell the truth finally. I had to tell my parents. And I had to do it alone, although I could have had David there, certainly, or Father McDougal. But no, this was all mine. This moment of ultimate cleansing, my absolution, I hoped. "Mom..." I smiled at her and she smiled back, uncertain why we were sitting so quietly in the living room. "Daddy." I smiled at him too, sitting on the sofa, but he was only looking at me, suspiciously, I thought. My smile faded as well and I looked down at my hands. "What is it dear?" My mother, predictably, was the one to speak. "I uh...I have something to tell you and um...I don't..." I looked up at the ceiling, biting my lip and willing myself not to cry. Not now. "I don't know how to...say it." "Well, out with it..." My father crossed his arms across his chest defensively. He knows! I thought and I felt as if a fist had just seized my heart. "What is it Lisa?" My mom was starting to get up, she's come over and touch me. I couldn't...I didn't want that! "I..." I looked down again. "I'm pregnant." My mom sat back down. =-=-= I remember...I remember... David. Tall and handsome, standing there in his dark trousers and blue shirt. His tie undone, no...just loosened. And his coat, the long white lab smock that doctors wear. The pockets stuffed with devices and things and stuff. I loved him then. That first day. I followed him inside a few moments later and he wasn't there at first, but then he came back into the front office from wherever in the back he'd gone, and he saw me. More, it was the first time I imagined myself a woman, rather than a girl. The world had stopped and I looked at his face, into his eyes, looking for something there...Love. Recognition. Some sign that he would know me already, the way I felt I knew him. He was my Prince Charming, clothed in white and I'd waited my whole life for him. He stuck his tongue out, just a little, the way he does, and tilted his head away, pointing with his chin. "Are you here for...Trixie?" I thought about it a second, trying to understand what a trixie was. "No..." I shook my head. "Oh." He looked at me, I had no name for him yet, and he smiled, just a little one that made my knees feel like I was standing on a trampoline. "Uh, I'm Dr. Stevenson. What can I do for you?" I was so busy thinking about my knees and how his eyes were just a little lighter than brown...hazel, I thought... "What?" I blinked at him. "Oh. I'm um..." He was smiling at me. "...Trixie." I felt my face burning. "No...Lisa! I'm Lisa and uh...I'm going to leave now and move to..." I rolled my eyes. "Brazil...now." I turned around my I couldn't keep from looking at him. "Wait." He laughed. "You..." He reached in his pocket and pulled out some candy. "Want some gum? Sugarless." I laughed too and I was still blushing and feeling very silly, but it was sort of okay. "Yeah." I walked closer, reaching out. "Long as it's sugarless." So we stood there, the young attractive doctor and the even younger attractive catholic schoolgirl, chewing our gum. And smiling. "So you're not here for Trixie..." He nodded. "Mmmm...I don't see anybody behind you." He grinned and made a little show of peeking around me. "So...either you really needed some gum, or...you're here about the job?" "Oh." I looked around. It looked like a pretty ordinary doctor's office. I mean a small one, like a little check-up family place or something. But I didn't know anything about a job. I didn't let a little thing like ignorance stop me though. If whatever it was meant being close to this man...I sighed. "Yeah." I nodded, smiling brightly. "The job." "Okay." He dipped his head as he said it slowly, his voice dropping as well, like there was just a little bit of doubt there. He crossed his arms over his chest and I was sort of hoping we could have sat down and maybe, talked a little, gotten to know each other... But instead he asked me, "So why are you interested in this position, Lisa?" I really liked the way he said my name, a lot. "Well, uh...I, my Daddy...my Dad...told me I should look for a job, learn some responsibility, you know." "I see." He nodded. "And um, how old are you now?" "I'm sixteen." I kind of clenched my teeth the way I do when I'm about to lie. "I'm almost 17 though." I'd turned 16 barely two months before. "Well, you know this...position, requires some..." He bobbed his head from side to side. "Rather unusual...skills." "Oh, right." I agreed. "I know and I'm...well...I can learn. I'm very smart and I'm a hard worker. I promise!" "I'm sure you are Lisa." He was laughing softly. "When can you start?" "Oh!" I felt my heart thumping like crazy! he couldn't mean I had the job already, could he? "Anytime! Right now?" "Well, right now is a little soon..." he said gently. "First we need to get some physical information, take some blood and some urine and, make sure you're the right girl for the job and..." "Blood?" I stepped back involuntarily. "Urine? You mean..." I looked down subconsciously. "I'm afraid so, Lisa. So if uh...you don't want the job, I understand. Believe me. It's okay." "I want it." I decided and looking into his eyes left me little doubt. Would anyone believe me if I told them that I had no idea how I'd come to be in that particular place, at that particular time? On the street, outside a small doctor's office. I try to remember sometimes where I'd thought I was going, or what I'd been running away from. There are only so many reasons a person can have, and Fate isn't one of them. Is it? But I can tell you exactly why I stayed, as if it isn't obvious already. David. Beautiful, kind, David. It wasn't fair, you know, finding him so early in my life. A girl of 16 should never meet the man of her dreams. =-=-=-=-=-= I sat there, alone, and put my arms around my tummy protectively. I was still small, of course, and there was nothing to see, but my parents both stared. First at my face, then at my stomach, and then slowly, finally, back up and into my eyes. I wasn't crying, not yet. "Who is he?" My daddy's voice was soft, like a low growl and I cringed. "It was um..." I sighed. I didn't know what to say and I glanced at my mother, but she had three fingers over her open mouth, sitting back as if posing for a Norman Rockwell painting. Theatrically shocked, but without be aware of it. Neither of them spoke; they were waiting for me, and I couldn't say anything. So we sat there and the room was so quiet. Sunlight flew through the windows and I could see the dust in it. Dust in my mother's spotless house and a baby in her daughter's spotless womb. I did cry then, because tears cannot stand silence. It draws them out and I made no move to wipe at my cheeks. I just held my tummy and that was the worst perhaps. My daddy left me there, getting up slowly and walking upstairs to his bedroom, probably to lie down. The motion spurred my mother to motion as well and she sat quickly next to me, her arm enfolding me, pulling me to her breast. There was no longer any hesitation, or doubt for her. She was my mother and we didn't speak. "I'll make you some hot chocolate. Do you want some hot chocolate? I'll make some." My mom was getting up and I looked at her, not having realized she'd been crying too, and I felt a little selfish and ashamed. "Hot chocolate." She was saying and she left, going into the kitchen. I wiped my hand across my face and stood up, taking a deep breath. I felt like I'd been curled up into a little ball and I stretched and made my way upstairs slowly. I went to my bedroom, opening the door and walking in before I fully realized my daddy was in there. He was sitting on the chair in the corner. It was too small for him, but he sat in it anyway. "Hi." I said in a little voice and I stood there for a moment before finally sitting on the bed. Not really facing him, but not facing away either. I was in the middle, waiting for him to tell me what to do. "Lisa." His voice was...defeated, I think. "I'm sorry, daddy. I..." But he was shushing me. "What happened? Just tell me, okay? Why?" And that last word came out so plaintive and pleading. What had he done wrong? it asked me, and I could hear the guilt in his voice. "I'm in love." I stared at the door of my closet, straight ahead, and my hands fluttered in my lap. "Love." He sighed. "His name is David. He's a doctor and I love him and he...he's smart, daddy." "Smart?" My father laughed at me sadly. "A doctor? Not some kid on the football team?" He didn't believe me, I thought. "We met eight months ago." I licked my lips. "When I started working at the clinic." "Working?" Daddy blinked at me. "At the clinic?" He'd known I was working. He'd even been proud of me for that, but now I told him everything. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "Come on back this way." David jerked his head slightly and opened a door, standing aside for me. I smiled at him as I slipped past and into a rather short hallway with three doors. "There, on the left. That's my office." I opened it and he followed me inside. It was small too, like the foyer where I'd met him, and had little more than a desk and a chair and a stool. There were some diplomas on the wall, a couple personal photographs of David with his parents, it looked like. Some posters, charts really, but I didn't understand the illustrations and the words all had far too many syllables for my taste. I looked around and David didn't bother closing the door, he just gestured at the chair. "Have a seat and um, we'll start with the paperwork." He made a little face and I giggled nervously. I sat and he knelt beside me, opening a drawer and pulling out a folder. "Here you go, Lisa, and here's a pen and..." He patted his pockets for a second. "And I'll be right back, okay?" I nodded and started looking through the papers; there were a lot of them, and a lot of questions, starting with my name. I wrote slowly, being rather careful since it really was my first ever job application. It all seemed incredibly serious to me at the time and I wanted to make sure I did it right. Also, I didn't want to look like an idiot, you know? I wanted to impress the man, more than anything else. "Here we go." Dave was back and he had a little cart that was barely small enough for the room. He sat on the stool and took the papers from me. "Let's see. Okay, you're Lisa Oquias, 16 years old, address yadayadaya..." He read through all my background, which was mostly blank, since I'd never had a job before and I was only in high school. "Okay, let's skip through this...and this...and this isn't important..." He was flipping papers. "Okay, medical history." He took his pen back and smiled at me. "Have you ever been hospitalized? Had an operation? Had the Measles? Chicken Pox?..." There were a lot of those questions and sometimes I just had to say I didn't know, but that didn't seem to bother him. "Do you want to keep going?" Dave looked at me and I shrugged, like why wouldn't I? But we'd been in that little office for a half hour at least. "Are you a virgin?" I looked at him sharply and I think my face turned a little red, but he just kept smiling. "Yes." I finally nodded. "Do you have a boyfriend? A girlfriend? Do you masturbate? Have you performed or received oral sex? Have you ever had anal sex, Lisa? Have you ever used a sexual device or toy, like a vibrator for instance?"... etc etc and by the end of it I was rather flushed and breathless. I'd never dreamt of doing half the things he'd asked me about. BDSM? Bestiality? Rape? Group sex? Please! I was a 16 year old catholic schoolgirl. I'd had one boyfriend and he'd felt my boobs once during a movie. That was it! "I'm sorry I had to ask you all that." David was a little red faced too and he didn't really try to look into my eyes, not that I'd have let him. "But the job requires a certain..." he shrugged, looking for the right word. "...innocence." "Innocence?" I laughed then and I became aware that I was just a little upset actually. "It sounds like you're looking for a...a... prostitute or something!" Part of me, maybe even most of me wanted to run away and hide. The only reason I didn't was that I was so embarrassed that any action seemed somehow worse than just sitting there, if that makes any sense. "No, no...That's exactly what I'm not looking for." David assured me. "I'm so sorry, Lisa, seriously. Those were terrible things to ask, but you're perfect, believe me." He reached out and patted my hand and I felt my heart jump a little. If I'd truly been offended, or even embarrassed, I forgot about it completely. He was touching me! And I just stared at his hand on top of mine. "Really?" I bit my lower lip gently and looked into Dave's hazel eyes. He was so honest and sensitive and sincere. I knew he wasn't lying and he'd plainly been almost as uncomfortable as I'd been. "Yeah." He said softly. "Now um, we need to get a little blood, okay?" That wasn't so bad and neither was giving him a urine sample, although it seemed a little embarrassing. I had spent a long time in his little bathroom and that just made it worse when I came out, but Dave didn't seem to mind. He took the plastic cup from my hand and put it on his cart along with the tubes of my blood and looked at his watch. "Do you uh, I mean are you hungry? Do you need to get home?" "Yeah, not really uh..." I giggled and shook my head as if to clear it. We were standing close together in that little hallway and now that the clinical stuff was done it was suddenly, delightfully awkward. "I mean if you want we can go someplace. There's a pizza place around the corner, it's pretty good." We were sitting in a little booth, waiting for our pizza, and it was nice. "I'm 26 years old." Dave was answering my questions now. "I got my degree in biochemistry and did some research time with the University hospital, you know." He shrugged and I didn't know, but I played along. "Until I got my doctorate and then, I opened up my own place. Spent some of my inheritance on it." He smiled a little apologetically, like he was embarrassed about having money he didn't earn and he didn't say a lot about it. "So you have a lot of patients?" I was trying to be more grown up than I was, actually, but my questions seemed very ordinary and boring. "A few." Dave sipped his coke. "Like Trixie, but really I just want to do research." "Oh." I nodded like that made sense. "So, um, Trixie...Who's she? You asked me if I was there for her or something." Dave laughed and rolled his eyes. "I used to have an assistant, a girl named Mindy, but she left. Ran off to get married to a circus clown," he paused, "or maybe he was a mime. I forget, it's not important..." I was giggling and he was smiling. "...Anyway, Trixie is one of her patients and I keep wondering when the owner will show up. It's been a week now." "The owner?" I was a little confused. "Yeah, Trixie is a collie. A beautiful dog, just gorgeous. We spayed her, just a quick operation. Very easy, although I don't think I'd have done it to the poor girl." "Oh." I blinked and sat up a little as understanding dawned on me. "You're a veterinarian?" David grinned at me and shook his head. "Only part time. I'm a real doctor, a human doctor." He laughed. "Mindy was a vet, a good one too. She taught me a lot." He looked a little bit wistful and I felt a pinch of jealousy. "Anyway, I thought at first you'd come for Trixie, I honestly didn't think we'd ever find anyone like you for the project." "Project?" I leaned forward a little more. That was the first time I'd heard him use that word. But right then our pizza came and Dave didn't answer me and I didn't ask him again. "Are you sure you can get home okay?" David asked. I was waiting for the bus and it was only a little after seven anyway. "Yeah, no problem." I smiled cheerfully. I'm not sure what I'd expected, honestly, I mean after our casual dinner. I guess I'd been waiting for him to hold my hand maybe, or kiss my cheek, or ask me for a walk. But David hadn't done any of those things, so I'd put on my bravest happy face and ignored the cramps in my stomach. "Okay, um...well, I'm gonna do your blood work and stuff and I'll call you, okay?" David stood there uncertainly. He really wasn't much of a people person, something I found rather sexy, I think. "Okay." I looked at him. "Even if I'm not right for the job?" Did my voice sound desperate? I hoped not, but if he didn't call me I was going to die! "Yeah, of course!" He laughed. "Maybe I'll call you tonight even, just to make sure you made it home okay." "I'll be fine." I started to wave off his words but then my brain caught up with my emotions. "But yeah..." I smiled a little shyly and brushed some hair from my face. "Call me, tonight, okay?" "Alright." David stood there and the bus was coming and I had a terrible urge to throw my arms around his neck and kiss him. I even took a little step forward, but I stopped. "Bye." I said as the doors opened. "Bye." David gave me a little wave and then I could only watch him through the green tinted windows until he disappeared. =-=-= The phone rang once, perhaps not even a full ring. I'd gone to bed with the phone on my tummy, cradling it like a baby. It was usually in the hallway, just between my bedroom door and the bathroom, but it had an extra-long cord and it wasn't so unusual for me to take it in my room when I was talking to one of my friends from school. My dad kept saying he'd get me my own phone, but it was one of those things that always seemed to get pushed back behind fixing the furnace and getting a new lawn mower or something. "Hi!" I said without even so much as a 'Hello?' because I knew who it was. "Um, hi." David's voice sounded nice over the phone and I felt a little tingle in my toes. "So you made it home okay." He said, as if I wouldn't for some reason, but I didn't mind. "Yeah." I was smiling. "I was waiting for you to call." "Okay, sure, good." He didn't quite seem sure what to say really. "I had fun today." I offered, giving him a perfectly good excuse to take me out again. I knew we hadn't really gone out on a date or anything, but it sorta seemed like it a little. "Yeah, so did I." David replied, and I thought he was probably smiling too. That hung there for a few seconds, neither of us saying anything and I scrunched up my nose trying to think of something smart to say. I know a lot of girls my age, just turned 16 years old, probably had a lot of experience with guys and dating and stuff. But I didn't. I guess I'd been sheltered, or a late bloomer socially, I don't know. I'd never really wanted a boyfriend, at least none of the guys I knew around that town. Not until right then, that day, when I'd met David. I was pretty determined not to lose anymore precious time. "What are you doing?" I asked him, since that seemed like a good question. "Oh, I'm in the office. I was just finishing up your lab work actually." David said, sounding a bit more confident suddenly. He really was a doctor. I mean that was where he was comfortable, where he really came out of his shell and opened up. I guess everyone does that, you know. "And uhhhh..." it sounded like he was looking at something "...I have to say, you're perfect, Lisa." "Really?" I felt my tummy do a little flip-flop. "Uh-huh, everything looks great here. There's just one thing left to do." He told me. "What's that?" "Well, you're 16 so I'm gonna need to get your parents' consent to start the treatment." He said, like he expected me to already know that. "Treatment?" I narrowed my eyes. "Um, what sort of treatment?" He hadn't said anything about any treatment as far as I could remember. In fact, David hadn't told me much at all about what I was going to be doing in my new job. "For the project." David said cautiously. "The one in the paper? The job you said you were applying for...You read the ad, right?" "Uhhh..." Jeez, when was I ever gonna learn? I'd never been able to lie about anything and get away with it. Never! Not once! I knew people, I had friends who'd lie all the time and they never got caught. Serious lies too, not little ones about reading some Help Wanted advertisement in the newspaper. Why was it always me? "Maybe you forgot, or didn't quite understand..." David was saying, giving me a nice easy way out and I jumped on it with both feet. "Yeah, I was going to ask you some stuff, but then I uh, forgot, you know and um..." I tried to make it sound like I was just a little dumb and not a complete idiot. "Sure, sure..." I could almost hear David nodding. "Well, the deal is that I'm working on genetics research and specifically with mutase enzymes..." "I see..." I hmmm'd a little, being lost after the first 3 seconds. "...and so using an RNA polymerase we can replicate a specific sequence from the host organism. Okay?" "Sure, yeah and um...I'm going to be doing...what, exactly?" I'd been watching MTV with the sound turned way down. I knew David had to be a really good doctor because he'd been talking for 10 minutes and he was quite excited about whatever it was he was saying. "You're the host!" He made it sound like he'd already said that, a few times probably. "Oh yeah." "It's not dangerous or anything, I promise. I just need your mom and dad to say it's okay for you to take part in a medical study conducted by my clinic. The AMA is a little funny about that sort of thing." He chuckled. "Oh sure." I nodded. "The government too, I bet." "Yeah." He was very happy. "You just need the papers signed, right?" I asked him, my mind going a million miles an hour. "I mean, you don't have to like witness it or anything, do you?" "Witness?" David asked. "No, they're just medical consent forms. They explain what were doing and what the risks are. If your parents want to meet me I'd be happy to..." "Oh no, no..." I replied quickly, trying to sound casual. "I'll talk to them." There was no way my parents would ever allow anyone, even Prince Charming himself, perform some kind of medical experiment on their only child. They'd had me late in life, after a long time of trying, and while they weren't ridiculously over-protective, you could easily call them conservative in their approach to raising a child. That's another good reason I'd never had a boyfriend. 'd never gotten a whole lot of encouragement in that department, you know? This was definitely going to have to be a secret, somehow. I wish David hadn't excplained everything to me, even if I hadn't understood any of it. It would have been so much easier to tell the ignorant truth and get away with it. This was going to be tough, especially since I'd be lying on both ends. "Okay. Well, great then. When you come by tomorrow I'll have them ready." "Okay." I tried to sound relaxed. "Um, what time tomorrow? I mean this is like everyday, right? This job?" David laughed at that. "Uh-huh, everyday, at least for the first month and then we'll see after that." I got the impression that one of us was really confused about what was going on and I guessed that it was probably me. Then again, David hadn't really gone out of his way to explain anything to me either, so I was pretty sure it wasn't entirely my fault. "So I'll just um, come by after cheerleading right?" "Yep, that sounds good to me." David shrugged over the phone. "We just really need to get you started on the serum and work up some protein analysis. Everything needs to be documented and that's kind of a pain, but...you know." "Oh sure." I told the man, as if I would have a clue what he was talking about. "And of course you'll want to meet your partners." David added that like it was nothing new at all. "Partners?" I narrowed my eyes a little. "Well, yeah. We can't do this alone, you know." David chuckled like that was pretty funny, but he didn't elaborate and truthfully, I was a little afraid to ask. I kind of thought it was just going to be me and him, the two of us, by ourselves. Now there were others, partners, and he probably meant like assistants, probably female assistants. My ego was feeling a little fragile as I imagined the worst. Looking back I find it rather amazing that I could have been so naive, but I can't deny it. Life really is a lesson that you learn when you're through. =-=-=-=-=-= "So this doctor, this David..." My daddy licked his lips, looking at me as I sat on the edge of my bed. "He's the father of your...your baby?" He wanted to touch me, I thought. Daddy wanted to get out of his chair and hold me, but he wasn't quite ready to do it yet. If I'd cried he would have. But I was through crying for the time being and instead we just sat there as the afternoon sun fell into evening. "No, Daddy." I shook my head. "I mean he knows, he's the one who did it, but..." "He's the one who did it?" Daddy cleared his throat. "You mean had sex with you?" He was looking over my shoulder, unable or unwilling to look into my eyes and I was grateful for that. "We kind of had sex." I admitted slowly. "But only because I wanted to." I added quickly. "He's really sweet, Daddy, he wouldn't do anything." I could see the doubt on my father's face. "I sort of kissed him, I mean he wanted to, but he's shy. So I did it and um...other things." "Other things." Daddy said softly. He didn't want to know, but at the same time he was trying to understand. None of this was making much sense and I was at a bit of a loss to explain it in a way that would. "Yeah." I played with the hem of my blouse, looking down. "See, he wanted me to get pregnant. I mean I knew I might, David had told me, but I didn't really believe him." "He told you?" Daddy did look at me as the words caught up. "Wait...He wanted you to get pregnant? And you let him do it?" "Well, yeah." I shrugged and closed my eyes. "See, he said he was going to make me fertile and that I'd probably get pregnant, but it sounded sort of crazy because..." I stopped suddenly. This was where I was going to get stuck and I'd known it. "Because what?" Daddy wasn't a dumb man by any means, but he wasn't a doctor either. If I told him what really happened he wasn't going to believe me. I wouldn't have believed me and I'd been there. I knew I had to tell him, but the words wouldn't come. So I just sat there, looking down, twisting the cotton in my hands and wondering how any of this was ever going to be okay. =-=-=-=-= "There you are." David smiled at me as I walked into his offices. "Are you okay?" I'd practically run all the way from school, but I'd forced myself to walk the last block or so, just so it wouldn't look like I'd been running. Still, I was a little out of breath, and hot and sweaty. "Yeah, uh-huh, fine." I nodded and I didn't mind that David put his cool hand on my forehead as if he were my mother all of a sudden. "I was walking kinda fast." I decided to admit. "In case I was um, late or something." "No, no..." David laughed lightly at that. "You can't be late. I'm here until 1 or 2 in the morning most days, so take your time, okay? I'll be here when you get here." "Oh." I nodded. "Sure." "Plus I need you nice and relaxed, okay? Every day I need to get your vitals and..." "Vitals?" I asked, setting my book bag down on one of the chairs in his little waiting room. "Yeah, blood pressure, heart rate, temperature. Stuff like that. See?" He opened up the folder he was holding so I could see a big fold-out piece of graph-paper. "This is your chart and every day we're going to put your vitals in here, along with other information. It'll be like your medical diary so any other doctor can pick it up and look through it and see exactly what was going on with you on any particular day." "Oh." I raised my eyebrows a little at that, but I didn't really know what to say. Luckily I didn't have to say a whole lot of anything, I just had to do what David told me to do and that was easy. Mostly. "First thing, I need you to get undressed for me." David said without looking up. "W-What?" I blinked at him. "Undressed." He looked up, sensing something was wrong and then smiled. "I'm your doctor, right? I need to do an exam, just a little one. Have you ever had a pelvic exam before?" I shook my head. "Okay, um..." He led me back to a room which must obviously have been his examination room, since it looked a lot more like the kind of doctor's office I was used to seeing. It had a table for sitting on, padded and covered with that funny paper they use. Some stainless cabinets full of medical stuff and of course a whole bunch more charts and posters and pictures, none of which made a lot of sense to me. "See this..." He was opening what looked like a silver all-you-can-eat- buffet serving tray, one of those rectangular ones, except istead of roast beef, David was pulling out doctor's stuff. "...this is a speculum, we're going to use it to see what's going on inside you. Make sure everything's hunky-dory down there." "Down..." My eyes got wide and I glanced down self-consciously, "...there?" "Uh-huh...and these are swabs and this is another speculum. It has a little light, see?" David smiled. "And this is for checking the baby. You don't have one of those yet." He chuckled. "This is for..." "Baby?" I asked him, finally coming to my senses after all that time and deciding I really needed to know what I'd gotten myself into. Especially if I was going to let someone, even a doctor, even David, look at me down there with a funny looking flashlight and some funny looking sponges. "Baby, yeah." He nodded. "After you're pregnant we'll need to check the fetus, well fetuses probably since there'll be more than one." He was almost talking to himself. "Anyway, that's called amniocentesis and that's a ways down the road. Another test we'll do is sample the choronic villus, that's really part of you actually, not the babies, and..." "Babies?" I wanted to sit down, but I looked at the examination table warily. "Well..." David shrugged. "...yeah. That's what this is all about. You knew that right? The project? I need a healthy woman to host the fetuses and bring them to term." He was looking at me with some concern. "Of course you can keep the offspring if you want, but I'll need to see them every week for at least the first six months or so, and..." "You want me to have your baby?" I felt my heart thumping wildly and not because I was excited at the prospect, quite the opposite. I was terrified! It was one thing to want a boyfriend. To imagine what kissing him might be like, maybe even hugging, you know, naked. Maybe. But having a baby...Babies? Plural? Like he wanted twins? He hadn't even asked me on a real date! This was so weird as to defy any possible truth. I was dreaming. I was asleep and dreaming and my fantasy had just turned into a nightmare and I was gonna wake up and... "Well, mine in a way." He nodded. "I guess you could look at it that way." "In a way?" I giggled, but only because I was losing my mind. "They'll actually be Sam's babies, probably. Or maybe Shep's, I'd like you to try both of them. They're my best subjects and the clinical differences are very..." "Sam?" I felt my knees wobbling a little. "And Shep? Who are they? I can't just..." I finally just let out a frustrated sigh. "I'm a virgin. I've never done it. Never once with anybody. I don't even know those guys. You can't be serious!" I was laughing then. Sort of a forced, you must be putting me on, laugh. "This is a really bad joke, David." "It's no joke, Lisa." David actually looked a little hurt, but I wasn't exactly in a mood to feel sorry for him right then. "Come on, you can meet them and then decide, okay?" "I can decide right now." I told him. "No way. I'm not gonna have sex with somebody, okay? And especially not for a job! That's sick." "You don't have to have sex with them." David spoke quickly, pleading his case. "I can do it in a test tube and then place the fertilized eggs in your ovary, okay? If you don't want to have sex, that's fine. It isn't part of the project, I swear." "That's still weird." I judged and I'll tell you, if he'd been anyone else in the world except David, I'd have walked out right then. The only reason I didn't was because weird or not he was so totally non- threatening that I didn't really feel the need to get away, you know? I just really needed to understand what he was talking about. "Come on, let's go meet your partners, alright? Then maybe..." His voice trailed of and his shoulders drooped a little. David really was pretty sure I wasn't going to be part of this, I could sense it, and that was why I agreed to go even that far with his silly game. I guess I was trying to let him down a little easier than my first reaction had allowed. "Okay." I finally nodded. "But I'm not gonna change my mind." "Okay." David nodded. We left that room and went back to the only part of the clinic I hadn't really seen yet. David opened a door and we walked into an already lit room, as big as the rest of his clinic probably, maybe bigger. There were cages in it and it was noisy, smelling of animals. He had about a dozen monkeys, I think, small cute ones, but David said they were mean and I believed him. They were cute, but they made faces at us as we passed, screeching and pounding on the cages with their little fists. I felt kind of sorry for them. "Ahh...Here's Trixie." David introduced me to a collie who was very happy to see us. She was beautiful and golden with a white collar and face and David let her out of the cage so we could pet her for awhile. If he was trying to distract me from our purpose it was working. I'd almost forgotten about this Sam person, and his friend Shep. I wondered briefly if David kept grown men in cages too, but that was silly and I laughed. They were probably way in the back playing cards or something, I figured, waiting for the mother of their would-be children. Well, weren't they in for a major disappointment? "Okay girl, back in you go. Sorry about that." David was very gentle with her and it was easy to see he didn't like keeping the animal locked up. "Where's her owner?" I asked him. "I dunno. She just dropped the dog off and disappeared. Her phone number isn't a real one." David shrugged. "Sometimes people do that. They make up excuses to leave their pet with a vet just because they couldn't find it a home and they can't take it to the pound or the humane society or whatever. Like a vet will automatically take care of it." "That sucks." I frowned. "Yeah, it does. I can't keep her and in a day or two I'll give her to the humane society. If they can't give her a home..." He stood there, looking at the dog unhappily. "What?" I asked. "They'll put her to sleep." David shrugged. "There's a lot of dogs in the world." "That really sucks." I thought aloud and David nodded. I decided I'd find her a home, somehow. I couldn't keep her, I knew that much, not without some major work to convince my parents. I thought I knew someone who could though, but I didn't want to say anything to David yet. Besides, Trixie's owner might still show up. Somehow. "Anyway." David turned and nodded, putting Trixie and her troubles behind us. We had our own. "Come right this way..." He was walking down the wide aisle made by the cages and then around the corner. "Hey boys!" He said, smiling again and sounding suddenly much more cheerful. "How are we doin' today?" He looked at me and I just stood there with my mouth open. "This big black fellow is Sam and this guy over here is Shep. Come on over, they won't bite." "David..." I said softly, just standing there. "They're...dogs." "Heh. They sure are." David was opening the cages. "A couple big healthy males. Luckily they're really good boys too, no fighting. Right?" He was talking to them and if they understood what David was saying I might have believed it. They largely ignored each other and the two of them practically knocked the doctor down in their pleasure to see him. They were big dogs, both of them Sam black all over with a big square head and upright ears. Shep more yellow and brown, shaggy with big old floppy ears and a happy, slightly dopey looking face. But the eyes were intelligent; bright brown eyes that looked right into mine and I liked them immediately. "Sam is half Boxer and half Great Dane, I think. He might have a little Chihuahua in him too." David frowned, peering over the beast's shoulder into his empty cage. "I could have sworn I put..." "He ate a Chihuahua?" I gasped and then David's face broke into a grin and I practically fainted with the realization that he was teasing me. "Don't do that!" I said with just a little anger, but by then I was giggling. It had been a good joke. "And that guy..." David watched as Shep practically knocked me over, muzzling my tummy with his huge snout until I was more pushing than petting him. "Shep's all Saint Bernard, a hundred percent, and about as devoted to making friends as they come. He never met anyone he didn't like, I don't think. At least not around here." "I believe it!" I laughed, still pushing and petting and just marveling at the way he was trying to steamroll me with affection. His great red tongue was wet and rough and all over my bare arms and neck and face. Both of the animals were as big as me, sheer size-wise, and probably bigger, They certainly outweighed me, I was certain, by at least 50 pounds in Sam's case, and closer to seventy maybe in Shep's. They were huge dogs and I could have put a saddle on one of them and rode him down the street in a parade. And David. Like I said before, he wasn't really much of a people person, even with me and I was a people who liked him a lot, but he was great with the dogs. We spent about 2 hours, almost three back there just playing with Shep and Sam. David didn't mention the project or anything and neither did I. The fact that Sam and Shep were dogs obviously gave proof that David was either crazy as a loon, or he had a really warped sense of humor. Either way, he wasn't pushing it and I was having a lot of fun actually. I'd never had a dog, although I'd asked on occasion. The answer was always 'No.' without any real reason or anything. It was just a fact of life, there wouldn't be any dogs in our house and I'd learned to accept it without really knowing what I was missing. That afternoon I got an idea of what having a dog could mean. It was like suddenly getting two best friends. Or better yet, like getting two really old best friends, like I'd grown up with them or something and just hadn't seen them in awhile. That was how they treated me, I thought. They were unreserved, the both of them, and so big and strong and stout that nothing I could do would hurt them it seems. I pulled and pushed and wrestled and even rapped Shep smartly on the noggin when he shoved his cool wet nose under my skirt. It had hurt my knuckles, but all he did was grin at me and come back for another try. It was like falling in love. Not some romantic love though, this was platonic and essential to my spirit, if that doesn't sound over the top. I just mean...I don't know what I mean. I was finding out that I was a dog person, a dog lover, for the first time and there was a connection there, that's all. A weird, fun, silly connection between a sixteen year old girl and two big handsome rough and tumble dogs. I wanted to take them home and keep them forever. That was why we stayed there for three hours, though I got the impression that David didn't mind at all and he enjoyed it just as much as I did. I would have even stayed longer if I could have, maybe all night, except I was getting a little hungry. "Hungry?" David had heard my tummy and I blushed a little. "Feel like some pizza again, or something else this time?" I looked at my watch. "Can I call home first?" It was getting on towards eight o'clock on a school night and sixteen or not, my parents were on the cautious side, remember? =-=-=-=-=-=-= "Soooooo..." David pursed his lips. We were sitting in a booth, which afforded us a little privacy at least, eating Chinese food this time. "You weren't serious, were you?" I finally had to ask. "About babies? With Sam and Shep?" I was going to find out if he was really crazy or not. "Yeah, 'fraid so." David nodded, looking very serious. "You think I'm crazy, huh? That's okay..." "No, no..." I protested weakly, the way people do. "I've heard it before." David took a deep breath through his nose. "I don't blame you, I mean it is crazy." He looked down, defeated maybe, but then he looked up and his eyes were defiant. "I can do it though. I've worked it out, how to cross the DNA, how to rearrange the sequence. It's all possible, more than possible. Once we do this, then we can work on the next steps. You know dogs don't get cancer? They don't get MS, or Alzheimers....It's all in the genes, see? And we can isolate and assign..." "David..." I sighed, holding up my hands. "You can't be serious. How does getting a girl pregnant with...puppies?" I looked at him and he nodded. "How does that do anything for anybody?" "It's just a step, that's all. An experiment to provide data for further research." He leaned forward, taking my hand in his and my heart jumped, just a little. "Lisa, this isn't the end of the race, just the beginning. You can help me do it. Both of us, together. You'll get full credit, co-authorship on the papers we'll write. You'll be famous, everyone will know what you did..." That was the wrong tact to take, in my opinion. Did I really want everyone everywhere for the rest of history knowing that I'd let David impregnate me with puppies? And then I caught myself and I giggled, spoiling David's intensity, but it couldn't be helped. This wasn't going to work, there was no way. Not in a million years, I decided. I wasn't a doctor, but I didn't have to be to know that it was impossible, no matter what David did to me or the dogs in the name of science, to get me pregnant with puppies. "I'll do it." I said, squeezing David's hand and smiling at the emotions passing over his face. Shock, happiness, disbelief, gratitude, they were all there and it really did warm me all over to know I could make him so happy so easily. "Really? You mean it?" David was holding his breath and my hand was starting to hurt. "Yeah, sure." I nodded. "But I have to know something, okay?" I looked at him, not entirely sure what I was gonna say, but knowing what I wanted. "A couple things...Um, if this doesn't work. If I don't get pregnant, you're not going to like...freak out or anything, right?" "It'll work, Lisa. I've..." I shushed him. "I mean if it doesn't, for whatever reason..." "No." David promised me. "I'll be okay. You're right, of course, we can't predict everything." He was nodding and I thought so far, so good. "Good." I nodded. "And um, second...Are you...? I mean are we..." I was stumbling, feeling very nervous suddenly and then I decided I'd just come out with it. "Am I your girlfriend, David?" "What?" "Cause I mean, if we're together and um, you're going to be looking down there and I really don't want to be scared and oh, I'm messing this up." I had my eyes shut. "I love you." I finally just said that, well, it had all come out in a rush and I hadn't planned on saying that exactly. I'd just wanted to know where we stood with each other and if I was going to love a crazy doctor then I really wanted to make sure he was going to love me back too. "You do?" David looked shocked and I suddenly thought he didn't love me back. I'd screwed up hugely and now I was blushing hard and I felt like crawling under the table and just dying. I prayed for an earthquake right then. A small one, just to swallow me up forever. He must have thought I was a serious lump. When I didn't say anything David did. "Lisa? Would you be my girlfriend?" He swallowed hard and I opened my eyes. "I...I never had one before. I mean I was always busy, you know, with school and work and then, well I never had time for girls ..." He was looking for words. "I don't exactly know how to talk to girls..." "It's okay." I was barely hearing him. "I wasn't...you don't have to be. I can, we can just be friends or whatever and..." "No, I..." He pulled my hand to his lips. I mean he really did, as if he were Prince Charming himself, kissing my hand gently with his soft dry lips. "You're so beautiful I didn't think...I never thought you'd like me." Was he kidding? He was the most beautiful man I'd ever seen! I'd seen the looks he got from other women when we went out. The waitress at the pizza place had practically camped out in his lap, which was the main reason we were eating Chinese tonight. I'd have bet that he'd had a hundred girlfriends, at least a hundred. "Really?" I licked my lips and looked into his eyes. I was living in a faerie-tale come to life. "Yeah." He nodded. "But um..." "What?" "Lisa, I'm ten years older than you are..." "I don't care." I answered quickly, and I didn't. "But some people might." David was still holding my hand in both of his. "Like your parents?" "Uhhh..." He had a point there, but maybe... "You're a doctor though and they're really nice and..." I didn't have any real argument. The fact was that my parents weren't ever gonna go for me dating a guy ten years older than me. They wouldn't care if David had won the Nobel Prize, he would still be some pervert trying to rob the cradle. "See?" David smiled weakly, understanding better than I how adults see the world. "We could get married." I swallowed hard and talked fast. "I'm sixteen, that's legal, right? A girl my best friend Kelly knows got married last summer and she was just sixteen. We could get married and then my parents would have to like you." "Lisa..." David was smiling at me. "You don't even know me yet." "Yes I do." I said softly. "I love you." I'd never had a crush before and I couldn't imagine that that was what this was. It was true love and I felt so full of it inside me that I thought I would burst with it. I was in a rush, I mean that's what love does at first. Later, after you've been with the person for awhile, love becomes something else, something calm and leisurely. But at first, in the beginning, love is reckless and headstrong, and rushing a thousand miles an hour towards...what? I didn't know and I didn't care, that's the other thing about love. It robs you of the future and leaves you eternally breathless in the present...or so it seemed to me. "Let's take it one day at a time, okay?" David was trying to slow me down, as he had to. He liked me, maybe even loved me, but he also wanted something from me. David's project was his life and while I don't think he was consciously using me right then, he had to see the advantages in having a test subject with more motivation than just the two hundred dollars a week he was paying me. But I had none of those thoughts right then, and later I felt guilty for being so cynical. Mostly I thought about that when I felt especially alone, right at the beginning of my pregnancy. When I wanted to blame him entirely and absolve myself of any responsibility. =-=-=-=-=-= "Shoot, I'm gonna be late, Mom!" I was in my usual morning frenzy, trying to get dressed, eat breakfast, and finish up my last minute homework before running around the block to catch my school bus. "Slow down, drink your juice." My mom was used to this. "No time..." I'd wasted 10 minutes looking for a particular hair clip that I really liked. "Well, if you'd get up when I called you..." Mom was standing at the sink washing out the coffee pot and shaking her head. This was our usual morning conversation. "Oh, I almost forgot." I made a big show of digging through my book bag, although I knew exactly where and what I was looking for. I'd carefully folded the consent form that David had given me the night before so that just the bottom part showed. The place where the Parent/Guardian was supposed to sign it. It looked a little different from the ones for school, mostly because it was white instead of the pink paper that the school liked to use, but I was hoping mom wouldn't notice that. "Field trip." I said, "I gotta turn this in today." I pushed a pen into my mom's wet hands and slapped the paper down on the kitchen counter, covering most of it with my palm. "Where are you going?" Mom asked reasonably. "Planetarium." I shrugged, feeling a pang of guilt. "It's gonna be boring." "Hmmm..." Mom started signing her name. She'd seen a hundred consent forms over the years and this was just one more, so far as she was concerned. "Do they need any chaperones?" Usually the teachers were looking for 2 or 3 parents to come along on field trips, but not this time, I thought to myself. "Nope." I shook my head quickly and pulled the paper away almost before she was done. "Well, okay then." Mom handed me my pen. "What day is that?" "Friday. I gotta run mom. Love you!" I was practically running out of the house. "Love you too, dear." Mom called after me. "Have a nice day..." =-=-=-=-=-=-= I walked around school that day feeling a confusing mix of emotion. On the one hand I had a boyfriend, I thought. A real one. And not just a BOY friend, David was a real man. A doctor and handsome and sweet. I wanted to tell everyone, of course. On the other hand, he was a man and a lot older than me. He also had some strange ideas and a project that I was never, ever going to tell anyone about. Who'd believe me anyway? So I walked around with the biggest best secret I'd ever had, and I couldn't really tell my friends about it. I finally understood what irony really meant. I had cheerleading practice everyday after school, from 3-4pm and I loved it usually, but not lately. I just wanted it to get over with so I could get to the clinic and see David. But that was more confusion too since I knew that he was going to give me my little exam today. All through my classes I tried to imagine what it would be like being naked in front of him. And not just naked, but like...spread. It made me blush horribly and I think some of my teachers worried about me. They were certainly giving me some funny looks as I sat there, half- smiling, sometimes frowning, and looking feverish. Naked with David. It was almost enough to send me home after school, to hide in my room. What if he didn't like me? What if I looked, I don't know, funny down there or something? It wasn't fair, I didn't think, that the man of my dreams, the man I loved, should also be a doctor. Or at least my personal doctor, which is pretty much what he was. It was like there had to be a conflict of interests there, you know? Some things should be private. A girl should be able to reveal things to her boyfriend that she'd never say or show to anyone else, but she should also have some things that only her doctor should know about. A detached, uninvolved, emotionally isolated doctor who would pass judgment on me from a very strictly limited point of view. Being my boyfriend, David's point of view was considerably larger. I was scared. =-=-=-=-=-= "Don't be scared." David was smiling at me. He'd taken me by the hand as soon as I'd entered the clinic and I think he wanted to kiss me. I wanted him to anyway. I mean I was his girlfriend and I'd just got home...sorta...and, well, we were supposed to kiss, right? I thought so and probably David did too, but we were both very self-conscious I think and that was when I knew he hadn't been lying about not knowing anything about girls. Relationship-wise. He was as much a virgin as I was and so that kind of made everything sweet, but it also made everything clumsy too. If you know what I mean. "I'm okay." I said, standing in the examination room. It seemed warm in there and I wondered if David had turned the heat up for me. "Good. Um, you can undress here, I'll...oh, here's a gown..." He opened a drawer in one of the cabinets and pulled out a light blue something, all folded up and wrapped in plastic. "...You can put that on. I'll go and um, well...I'll be back in a minute." He didn't really have anyplace to go, he just wanted to give me some privacy. Like magic, there's a transition that takes place when a person changes from their normal clothes into a hospital gown. I was Lisa for the moment, but when David came back I'd be his patient, and a doctor could say and do things to a patient that he could never say or do to a Lisa. That thought made me smile a bit and actually helped relax me, I think. "I have the consent form." I said quickly, before he left. "I pulled it out of my purse and handed it to him. "What did your parents say?" David asked. "Nothing." I shrugged, feeling another stab of guilt. "I told them um...that you're a famous doctor." David laughed at that and tilted his head the way he does when he's feeling self-conscious. It's cute, I like it. "Someday...someday..." He nodded. "Okay, well, I'll go file this then. Good, that means we can start the treatments." "Okay." I pursed my lips. "Okay." David cleared his throat. "Um, back in a minute." I undressed quickly, because to my mind there would be absolutely nothing worse than David walking in while I was like pulling my panties off my left foot, or reaching behind me to unsnap my bra, or whatever. I mean sure, everyone gets undressed everyday, but still, it's that transition thing again. And besides, if I did it fast, without thinking about it, then I'd actually do it. Of course I'd scrubbed myself in the shower after cheerleading practice. Most days the girls didn't even take a shower. I mean it wasn't like we worked up a huge sweat or anything, not so much that we couldn't wait til we got home to take a shower and change clothes. But I showered that day and I'd washed myself thoroughly. Everywhere. If anything I might have washed myself a little too enthusiastically, since I naturally looked down at my pussy, just to make sure it was normal or whatever. It looked a little pinkish though, a little tender and I frowned because I'd washed too much and I hoped it didn't look like I had a rash or something. God. Every little thing worried me and I tried to put it out of my head. The hospital gown was a big one, but then they only come in too sizes...Too Big and Too Small. That's a doctor joke that David told me once, sorry, anyway at least it closed all the way so my butt wasn't hanging out. I folded my clothes, tucking my underwear away so David wouldn't see them and sat down on the table, legs close together, hands in my lap, chin set defiantly. I was sorta ready. Mostly. There was soft knock and the door opened, David peeking in with a smile. "All ready?" He asked and I nodded. "Good." He was wearing his lab coat, of course, and he looked professional, which helped a lot. He even had a name tag on, I noticed, which he hadn't ever worn before. I guess he really wanted to play the part for me. Maybe for both of us. He was carrying my folder, my chart, and he was ready too. "Okay, let's get your weight first, and blood pressure, temperature, all that stuff..." And it was pretty much like the school physical I'd taken the summer before, except I hadn't had to get naked for that. "Is that scale right?" I asked. "Yep, one-oh-four on the button and for your height, um...63 inches...that's just about perfect." David told me with a smile. "Our bathroom scale said like 99 pounds yesterday." I said, wondering how I'd gained five pounds in one day. I rubbed my tummy nervusly, there weren't any fat cheerleaders at my school. "Well, either you bought your scale at Sears, or..." he was chuckling, "...someone at your house is on a diet." "My mom." I giggled. "You think she'd set the scale wrong?" "No," David shook his head, "more than likely your dad. At least that's what my dad used to do when mom went on a diet." "Really?" I asked. "Oh yeah." David nodded seriously. "Now, why don't you slip your gown down and I'll have a little listen to your lungs, okay?" He had his stethoscope out and I just nodded, sitting on the table and shrugging my shoulders out of the hospital gown so they just covered the tops of my breasts. David listened to my back mostly and the metal was cool, but his hands were warm and I kept my eyes closed, breathing when he told me to. "Sounds good...Now your heart..." He slid his hand around, leaning close in front of me so I could almost bury my nose in his thick black hair. I knew my heart was going fast, too fast, and David's hand was moving, just a little, touching my breasts, sliding between them and it felt good. "Just relax...relax..." He was murmuring and I tried to slow down but he was right there and I wanted to put my arms around him. "Okay, you can pull your gown back up." David stood up straight and pulled the stethoscope out of his ears, wrapping it up and slipping it into one of his big pockets. "And go ahead and lie back, okay?" I just nodded, taking a deep breath while I stared at the ceiling. I could hear David moving something, soft clunking and I glanced down to see that he'd unfolded some stirrups and was setting them up for my heels. My heart was really going now. He hadn't even kissed me yet and now he was going to touch me down there. "Let's get your feet up...there we go, Lisa...just like that. Comfortable?" David had helped me with his gentle hands, moving my legs apart, lifting my feet and setting them into the stirrups. I looked down to see that the gown was still in place, like a little tent now, but still covering me as he stood there. "Yeah." I swallowed nervously. "I'm okay." "Good." David nodded and he moved around the small room, wheeling a stool over and then his little medical cart with all his medical stuff on it. "Let me get my gloves on..." He was saying, talking all the time, explaining what he was doing like a good doctor should. A few moments later, "Okay, just relax, this isn't going to hurt at all, we're just taking a little look..." My whole body tensed up, it was uncontrollable, and I clutched the sides of the table and shut my eyes. I could feel him there, looking at me. I felt his hands, still warm, but curiously soft and alien beneath the latex of his surgical gloves. David was touching me, slowly and carefully, spreading my labia, I thought, using just his fingers at first, feeling around...penetrating me...and... "Ouch!" I said, but not because it hurt, just because it surprised me. "Did that hurt?" David had frozen immediately and I looked down my body to see his concerned face between my spread knees. "No." I said quickly. "It just...what was that?" "Your hymen." David smiled. "It's a thin membrane that covers..." "I know what it is..." I said. "...It felt...funny." "It's about 3 centimeters deep, just here..." David was looking in my eyes as I felt his finger move inside me, ever so slightly, but definitely rubbing something. "...How does that feel?" I was blushing because it felt really good. I don't mean his fingertip brushing the soft tissue of my hymen, I mean just the fact that he was doing it. That part of him was inside me, even if only so very slightly. My nipples itched and I felt my heartbeat in my sex, like a throbbing, and I groaned inwardly at the realization that my clitoris was hard, and had been hard for a few minutes at least. I was turned on by this, even as it humiliated me, the whole thing was making me feel...horny. "Okay." I breathed, licking my lips. I wanted to close my eyes, but I didn't. I just kept looking at David, staring into his face, feeling his hand moving. He was slow and deliberate and he moved his fingers around as if exploring me. "How's this..." David was talking softly, his own face flushing just a little and his fingers brushed my clit, the small hard little nub of flesh that was sending sparks through my body. "Ohhh..." I felt weak and the contact was too soft for me. I lifted my hips, unable to help myself. I lifted my butt just slightly, enough so that my clit pressed against his fingers a little harder. "Your vagina is perfect, Lisa..." David said, trying to bring us back to what we supposed to be doing. "Don't stop...please..." I moved my hips a little more and David's hand paused, then resumed massaging my pussy. "We should..." David was saying something, looking for a reason to stop maybe, but neither of us was listening. "Put your finger inside me again." I whispered. "Touch me there again...please..." "Are you sure?" David asked me, even as his fingertip slipped between my lips again. He found my hymen, that shallow wall guarding the way into my womb, and I gasped softly at the contact as the tissue stretched slightly. We were very quiet, except for the sound of our breathing, and I could have spent a lifetime there, being gently massaged like that. My pussy was quivering, literally trembling with excitement, and only the stirrups kept me from locking my legs tightly around David's hand. It felt so good, even the small discomfort when he'd press just a little too hard on my hymen, so that I almost thought he would break through, but didn't. I wanted him to suddenly. I wanted to give that to him. My virginity. I'd been told to save it for the man I loved, advice from my mother, and here he was. I loved him and wanted to give him something of myself, something precious that could only be given once in a lifetime and never again. "I want you to break it...." I whispered, my voice throaty with desire. "Lisa...." David kept rubbing me, his thumb over my aching clit, his fingers cupping my sex with just the tip of his middle finger inside me, to the first knuckle perhaps, certainly no more than that. "Will you kiss me...Oh David...please..." I was trying to sit up, my hips were moving and I reached toward him. I needed him to kiss me, it was the most important thing in the world right then. He had to kiss me and take me, take my virginity when he did it. I loved him so much. David moved, helping me, allowing me to get my feet down, to sit up. His hand was caught between my thighs and I could feel how wet I'd become. I wrapped my arms around him as he stood, bent over, his face close to mine. He had his finger inside me, pressing. I was holding my breath and my heart was pounding beneath my burning breasts. "I'll be gentle." David promised me and I nodded and then we were kissing. It was my first real kiss. The first filled with love and I opened my mouth to his tongue, wanting him inside me. He was hot and wet and sweet and my lips felt bruised and his tongue filled my mouth. He was as anxious as I, excited and hungry and all his reserve fled during that kiss. I felt his finger stiffen and press insistently against the barrier between my legs. He didn't stab me, he just pressed with unrelenting pressure and the discomfort became something close to pain, but not quite. Still I whimpered softly into his mouth and my body tensed as the instant came. I felt the tearing of my flesh as he wounded me, his long gentle finger suddenly driving inside me fully. It hurt, sharp like a needle and then passed. I didn't cry. It wasn't that bad. If anything it was good for me. It made me a woman, his woman, and I felt him inside me. His finger moving, wriggling within the tight confines of my no longer virginal sex. That it wasn't a penis mattered not at all, and I didn't think about it in the least. David had taken my virginity and I closed my legs tightly, squirming as I dug my fingers into his back. I kissed him as well as I could, wanting to show him how much I loved him. Somewhere, in that middle of that never ending kiss, with my vagina clasping around David's finger, I had my first orgasm. It fell over and through me, leaving me weak in his arms. David held me tightly, held me up with one strong arm while I clung to him. I moaned into his mouth and shook like a leaf. A stray, silly thought entered my head like a dispassionate observer, 'Oh, so this is what the big deal is...' and then it was lost. All I could do was enjoy it. "Are you okay?" David was breathing hard, leaning over me as I lay there. "Uh-huh." I smiled up at him. I'd never felt so good in my life. "I love you." "I love you too." David promised me with a kiss, a small one. His hand was still between my legs and he withdrew it slowly. "I tried to go slow." "I know." I nodded. "It didn't hurt." "Good." He looked at his hand, at the glove, and it was streaked with blood. Not much, but enough and I wasn't shocked or anything. I'd known how it all worked. Just relax and uh...I'll take care of you, okay?" "Okay." I smiled. I'd have agreed to anything. I was still floating on cloud nine. My pussy felt a little sore maybe, but it didn't hurt at all. If anything I missed feeling David's touch inside me and I wished we could do it again. Especially the kissing. He hadn't exactly been really good at it, I suppose, but then again neither was I. We just didn't have any experience, but that made it so special too, I thought. I lay there, eyes closed, smiling and thinking happy thoughts while David washed me gently. I thought about marriage and babies and having a house and sleeping in the same bed with David, every night for years and years. Making love...And I wanted that suddenly. My body was still eager, my emotions still hungry. There wasn't time, I felt irrationally, no time for years and years. I wanted him now, inside me, his penis...his cock...his dick...I thought up every word for it I knew. I wanted him to make love to me. To fuck me...Fuck...I giggled softly and David said something, but I was lost. I never said that word. Not even once, I was sure. I knew a lot of boys who did, like it made them men somehow, and I knew a few girls who said it often too. But not me. It seemed dirty and crude and just...bad. But I wanted it. I didn't just want to make love. I wanted to fuck. I wanted to fuck David and I knew right then that I was high on something. This sex thing was dangerous, I thought, and that made me giggle some more. "What?" David looked up at me. He'd cleaned me already and pulled my gown down modestly. Now he was feeling a self-conscious, a little guilty maybe for doing what he'd done to a patient. Or maybe because I was sixteen and I'd been a virgin, I don't know. "I want to have sex with you." I told him, as if I were completely someone else. "Can we do it? Make love?" "Right now?" David looked a little flustered. "Here you mean?" "Yeah." I bit my lower lip, nodding. "I want to do it." "I want to do it to, Lisa, but..." He looked blank for a second, maybe because no good reason not to had come immediately to mind. "Take off your clothes and let's play doctor, doctor." I was being silly, but I didn't care. I rolled over a little, reaching behind me to untie my gown and then shrugging out of it. I was naked, completely and my smallish breasts, topped with hard pink nipples, heaved in the cool air. I rubbed my tummy a little with one hand, and stroked my thigh with the other. I spread my legs, just a little, inviting David back to the place he'd just left. The little bit of brownish pubic hair I had was damp and I dragged my fingernails through it. He had to want me, as much as I wanted him, and I waited patiently while he sorted out his desires. It only took a few seconds before David was undressing in front of me. "I need a condom...hold on..." He was just wearing his boxers and I watched as he dug through his cabinet. "Do you really need one?" I asked, only because part of me really wanted to feel him inside my body. But I knew he had to because I couldn't risk getting pregnant, and again I reminded myself how dangerous these feelings could be. I mean if he'd wanted to have sex without one, I'd have agreed. I wanted him too badly to say no and the possible consequences were so far down the road. But David had his own reasons and they were more important to him even than I was, as much as it pains me to say that. "Yeah." He said. "We can't risk the project...later, once we're sure your pregnant with one of the dogs, then we can...Here we go..." David had found his condoms, although why his clinic would have those was beyond me. I suppose it was just part of a general medical supply kit or something. "After I'm pregnant..." I rolled my eyes, reasonably certain that would never happen. Maybe, I thought, after a few tries David would give up and maybe even ask me to marry him and then have babies the old fashioned way and...I was still just sixteen, a voice in my head told me. But the dreams felt good. David pulled down his underwear, stepping out of them and I blinked at his penis. I'd seen them before, I mean pictures, and drawings in my sex ed class and stuff...but this was real. It was big too. Sort of hard, but not like standing straight up or anything, just out and sort of curved over. Semi-hard, I guess, and the head was pinkish and wet. David had been plenty excited, I realized, and that made me feel good. "Let's kiss first." I suggested, because I really wanted to kiss him right then, and touch his penis before he put that condom thing on it. "There's room." I smiled, patting the examination table as I scooted over a little. It was pretty small. It was slightly uncomfortable too, mostly because we needed to be very close and still our butts were sticking off the sides. Better was when David just got on top of me, so that I could look up at him and we kissed that way. I loved the feeling of my nipples against his smooth chest, rubbing back and forth like they were trying to start a fire. His cock fell down, against my tummy and actually against my sex, as he was a lot taller than I was. I spread my legs, wondering briefly if it might not actually go inside me like that, but I didn't care. If it did that would be so much the better in my feverish opinion. We made out for a long time and the room was definitely getting hotter. My body felt like it was cooking and I was damp with perspiration. David's body was warm too and we'd stick together sometimes while we kissed and moved. I could feel his cock, very hard now, and straining against me as the length of him rode over my wide- open sex. I had my legs outside hi his, tilting my hips upward and every now and again I could feel David shift, as if trying to find my small opening and get his penis inside me. But then he'd catch himself, and move again to ensure that it wouldn't. This was a frustrating tease that only served to make me hotter and it became like a game between us, with me trying to catch him as he avoided capture. "Put it in me." I finally whispered breathlessly, pulling David's face down to my neck. "Just put it in...God...it feels good..." "Wait..." David struggled, trying to disentangle himself from my grasp so he could get the condom on, but I was refusing. "No...now...Please, David...I'm so hot..." I was squirming and I could feel his thickness pressing against my hard little clit. "But..." David's protests were weak and I found that even the almighty project had it's limits. "Ahhhh..." I arched my back, moaning loudly as David reached down, pressing the smooth head of his circumcised penis to my opening. He pushed gently and then again, harder the second time and I was so small for him that it seemed like he'd never get inside me. But there was a curious popping sensation and a flash of discomfort, like a little cramp, and then I suddenly felt his cockhead inside me for the first time. I was trying to breathe and force myself to relax and David asked me if I was okay, kissing me and pushing again and I just held him, my mouth open as I moaned into his ear. His cock forced its way inside me, working against my resisting sex. It hurt, much more than his finger had, and I wondered if he'd really broken my hymen before. But obviously he had, this was just my body, my never-been-used vagina trying to figure out what was going on. It took awhile, a few minutes of patient movement before David was all the way inside me, and we paused there, kissing and touching and just growing used to each other. That was when it began feeling good finally. "Okay?" David asked me and his eyes were so full of tender concern I really did start to cry, just a little. "Yeah." I said weakly. "I love you." "I love you." And then we were making love, moving back and forth and while the pain never really went completely away, it was welcome beneath the pleasure I was getting. It reminded me that I was doing this for David, for both of us, because I loved him that much. I couldn't imagine being with anyone else, ever, there was only him. I wanted it to hurt a little every time, or at least I never wanted to forget that it had this time. This was how it felt to grow from a child into a woman. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= ....This story has been divided into several parts for ease of posting. Please see the continuation in PART 2 rache696@yahoo.com This story in it's entirety may be found at www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/rache/www/index.htm -- Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated. +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ | alt.sex.stories.moderated ------ send stories to: <ckought69@hotmail.com>| | FAQ: <http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/faq.html> Moderators: <story-ckought69@hotmail.com> | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ |ASSM Archive at <http://assm.asstr-mirror.org> Hosted by <http://www.asstr-mirror.org> | |Discuss this story and others in alt.sex.stories.d; look for subject {ASSD}| +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+