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Message-ID: <55729asstr$1177697402@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
From: Evil Nigel <useweb@nospam.com>
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Subject: {ASSM} GSN: In The Beginning (Mggg)
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Date: Fri, 27 Apr 2007 14:10:02 -0400
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Blah blah standard disclaimers and exposition of rights blah blah.


                       In The Beginning
                             by
                         Evil Nigel

                    (h7n at yahoo dot com)


I was lying on my bed of fern leaves and bear skins, half dozing,
half looking at the cave wall where I would have put a television if
televisions had been invented, when I heard rocks being pounded
against each other at the cave entrance. Since doorbells hadn't yet
been invented, this was the traditional way of alerting a cave-
dweller that they had visitors.

I picked up a stone tablet onto which I had laboriously carved two
similar-looking pictograms and went to the cave entrance. There were
three cute young girls present. My first thought was 'Girl Scouts'. I
tried to slam the door in their faces but doors hadn't been invented
yet. The girls rolled their eyes in disbelief. My second thought was
'what a lot of beaver'. The girls couldn't be Girl Scouts because
they weren't wearing green uniforms. Instead they were clad in beaver
fur, actually not that much of it, leaving little of their pubescent
figures to the imagination. I decided to check anyway.

"You're not Girl Scouts, are you?"

More synchronised eye rolling.

"Girls Scouts haven't been invented yet," scoffed the blonde with
derision.

"Is he really this stupid?" the redhead asked her colleagues. They
nodded.

"What's that you're carrying?" asked the brunette.

"It's a thesaurus, I just invented it," I replied proudly.

"That first symbol means 'find a mate and drag her back to the cave
by the nostril hairs' and that second symbol means 'kill a medium
sized dinosaur by stabbing it's pea-sized brain with a toothpick
through its eyeball'," snorted the blonde.

"It could stand a bit of fine tuning," I confessed. "Anyway, what
can I do for you?"

"We're from the Turtle Tribe, living by the lake," replied the
redhead.

"Five years ago we discovered fire, since when we've been able to
clear forest and plant crops at a much faster rate," added the
brunette.

"But the carbon from all that tree burning caused global warming, we
had a dry winter and the mountain streams dried up," declared the
blonde.

"So all the wild animals came down to the lake to drink," expanded
the redhead.

"And all of our fit young men were killed fighting off sabre-tooth
tigers," elaborated the brunette.

"So the village elders decreed that all females should breed as
quickly and often as possible to replenish the population," appended
the blonde.

"But they were also worried about the size of the gene pool. They
said that if we all bred from the same two or three males then the
tribe would end up with inbreeding and congenital diseases like the
European Royal Families will," continued the redhead.

"So as soon as we started bleeding, we were told to come up here and
breed with you," added the brunette.

"The village elders said you never got any so you wouldn't have any
nasty infections," imparted the blonde.

"Twice a week we're to climb this mountain and breed with you until
we're in the family way," finished the redhead.

My one-eyed snake, already making its presence felt as I caught
glimpses of upper thigh and budding breast curves through the scanty
beaver skins, made a huge tent in the front of my bearskin at the
prospect of seeing some action. Nookies with these proto-Girl Scouts -
how could I afford it? I wondered if I could invent mortgages then
mortgage my cave.

"I'm a hunter-gatherer. I subsist by killing and eating dinosaurs
and collecting berries and nuts and roots. What's it worth?" I asked.

The girls looked at each other, this time with a little respect.

"See, nobody could possibly be as stupid as he was pretending," said
the brunette to the others.

"Okay, here's the deal. We've experimented by crushing oats, mixing
them into a paste with water and honey, and cooking them in the fire.
We're thinking of calling them cookies. Every time we come, we'll
bring a sackful for you. Here's one for you to sample," said the
blonde, holding out a strange flat disc.

I took the cookie in my hand and tried to flex it. It broke into
two. I bit off a piece and chewed it. It was excellent. I couldn't
believe my luck, nookies with these proto-Girl Scouts and they'd pay
me for it with these choice delicacies!

"When do we begin?" I asked, scarcely daring to believe my luck.

"We were hoping to begin today but we only brought the one cookie so
we'll have to start when we come back in a few days," replied the
blonde glumly, and the girls turned to leave.

I could see these proto-Girl Scouts walking out of my cave leaving
me nookiless. I owed it to my one-eyed snake to stop that happening.

"Wait!" I almost shouted, "I've had a sample of what you have to
offer so it's only fair that you have a sample of what I have to
offer."

"Okay," said the brunette as the girls turned back, "What do you
suggest?"

"I'll have a taste of each of you, then pick one to receive a
sample. You go first, lie on those bearskins," I ordered the blonde.

The blonde slipped out of her beaverskins and lay down on my
bearskins. She had breasts the size of walnuts and a light blonde
fuzz on her pussy. I should have known she'd be a natural blonde
because the only hair-dye that had been invented was that blue woad
stuff. I knelt between her legs and started to lick her pussy.
Gradually she became moist, with fresh, lemony flavoured secretions,
or what I imagined lemons would taste like if they had been
discovered. I lapped them up avidly, causing the blonde to moan with
pleasure. Eventually her whole body shook with orgasm.

Next came the brunette. She was equally attractive, with slightly
larger breasts and chestnut fuzz on her pussy. Licking her to orgasm,
I was rewarded with the mysterious taste of what plain chocolate
would have tasted like if it had been invented.

Finally came the redhead, breasts barely perceptible with only a
tiny hint of red fuzz on her pussy. As I licked her to orgasm I
experienced the familiar sweet taste of wild strawberries.

I made my choice for the nookie - the redhead. I reasoned that her
relative immaturity was a good thing because it would take more
attempts to get her in the family way. I removed my bearskins,
revealing my one-eyed snake at full stretch, seeping precum from its tip.

"That's awfully big. Will it fit inside me?" giggled the redhead
nervously.

"There's only one way to find out."

I positioned my one-eyed snake at the entrance to her cunny and
pushed, only to be rebuffed by her intact hymen.

"Hold tight, this will sting a little."

I thrust hard and burst through the barrier, causing the redhead to
grimace with pain and clench her muscles. I waited until she relaxed
again, then pushed deeper inside her. She was so deliciously tight
and hot that I knew I wouldn't last long. I pistoned in-and-out and
felt my groin start to tighten.

"I'm about to cum," I warned her, as my first throb sent a gob of
sperm coursing up my one-eyed snake towards her waiting womb.


EXCRUCIATING PAIN.


I awoke groggily. I was lying on the thin, lumpy mattress of the
prison cell where Officer Sherry had locked me up. Officer Sherry was
standing over me, ready to fire the taser again if the one-eyed snake
showed any further signs of life.

"You disgusting pervert, you pathetic little worm," she sneered at
me, "I bet you were dreaming of Girl Scout nookies again!"

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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