Message-ID: <55001asstr$1166055003@assm.asstr-mirror.org> X-Original-To: ckought69@hotmail.com Delivered-To: ckought69@hotmail.com X-Original-Message-ID: <BAY125-F9D8E13782CFA3A586AF0688D60@phx.gbl> X-Originating-Email: [silli_artie@hotmail.com] From: "artie m" <silli_artie@hotmail.com> X-OriginalArrivalTime: 13 Dec 2006 22:48:13.0219 (UTC) FILETIME=[C535DF30:01C71F08] X-ASSTR-Original-Date: Wed, 13 Dec 2006 14:48:07 -0800 Subject: {ASSM} <*> "Open Clinic" by artie (MF?) Lines: 1074 Date: Wed, 13 Dec 2006 19:10:03 -0500 Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail Approved: <assm@asstr-mirror.org> Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d X-Archived-At: <URL:http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2006/55001> X-Moderator-Contact: ASSTR ASSM moderation <story-ckought69@hotmail.com> X-Story-Submission: <ckought69@hotmail.com> X-Moderator-ID: dennyw, newsman - _________________________________________________________________ Get free, personalized commercial-free online radio with MSN Radio powered by Pandora http://radio.msn.com/?icid=T002MSN03A07001 <1st attachment, "oc01.doc" begin> Open Clinic Copyright 2006 by silli_artie@hotmail.com This work may not be reposted or redistributed without the prior express written permission of the author. A work of fiction, meant for adults. Read something else if you are not an adult, or are offended by stories with sexual content. Then again, if all you're looking for is in-out, in-out, in-out, you should probably read something else. I welcome constructive comments. Enjoy. Another full moon, another Open Clinic. The barn was clean, supplies and equipment ready, or at least as ready as I can be for these things, and I'd gotten some extra rest the last few days. Open Clinics could be long... "Okay, Joe, open it up," I called out. I'm a veterinarian, out in the wilds of Arizona, well off the beaten path, but still popular. I'm good at what I do. A specialist, you could say, one of half a dozen or so around the world. "Joe!" I hollered again. I didn't want to have to climb up into the rafters where he spent most of the daylight hours. "I heard ya!" he called. "Thanks, Joe -- don't want to keep patients waiting," I told him. I looked over and saw him start the dance he does to open the Portal. Looks like he's got a bit of a cobweb in his antlers. He had a full rack, since it was the full moon. Normally he has stubs during the day, with more coming out after the sun goes down. Joe is my invaluable assistant for Open Clinic and our special clients. He's my translator, takes care of the Portal, helps with client management, and also handles unofficial security for the ranch. We've worked together for over a decade. Oh, Joe is a ... well, were-jackalope is as good as any description. As you know, there are roughly two different flavors of were-beasts. The ones you've probably read about have human and were-phases, usually entering their were-phase on the full moon. The others are those that used to be human, and through some happenstance, got changed. Some can still go back to human form, some can't, and many don't bother. In Joe's case, he was a powerful local brujo, or witchdoctor, a long time ago. Unfortunately, Joe pissed off the wrong entities, and they turned him into a were-jackalope. But these things have a way of balancing out -- Joe became more powerful, and essentially immortal. Well, unless someone picks him off with a silver bullet. Again. But that's another story. Joe and I met when a local managed to nick him with a handmade bullet that had enough silver in it to do some damage. Joe had been up on top of a ridge, singing away after an evening of shagging the locals (Joe is a sex fiend; we have a very strong local jackrabbit population thanks to Joe). A local got lucky, and Joe got unlucky. Another friend found him and brought him to the Clinic. We've been friends ever since. Mostly friends. Now you may think this is a load of crap, jackalopes and such. As Joe says when he hears such, "They don't believe in me? Well, I don't believe in them either." Jackalopes are actually pretty common, through the Americas and in Europe through to Asia. Joe's German cousins are known as wolpertinger. Oh, you may hear a tall tale of one being spotted in South America being chased by a bear -- that story got it wrong. It was the bear that was being chased. "Ya got one coming in!" Joe hollered. I looked to the Portal as a large lizard appeared. Large -- almost two meters in length! The lizard saw me, flicking his tongue. He saw Joe, and moved a bit, coming up on his legs... I smiled -- someone's going to learn a lesson. Joe's eyes glowed as Joe made contact with our visitor (convincing him that Joe was not on the menu). The lizard let down with a hissing sigh. Not only is Joe a great translator, he's great at crowd control. Yeah, I saw gashes along one flank; they didn't look good. "Were-komodo," called Joe. "Disagreement with his mother-in-law over a goat. Left side hurts." Joe laughed, almost a yodel; must have been a good one. "We could be cousins," Joe told me. "A family of witchdoctors on an Indonesian island. They don't know who they pissed off, or how, but they sure know somebody was upset with them!" "Okay, take him to Carnivore 1 while I check records. Were- but not dark path?" I asked. Joe led our first client off to the scale and then to one of the rooms for large carnivores (we try to separate carnivores from herbivores; better for repeat business). "Yah, sounds like an okay guy," Joe told me. Quick check on my computer as I started the workup. Hadn't seen any were-komodos. Had a few were-crocs from Egypt, as had my colleagues. One dark path, the rest good blokes. "One forty kilos," Joe called in my head. "Nasty stuff on the left flank." Okay, heavy gloves, test kit, silver plated needles, spider silk. What do I do if he has an infection? Don't want to use "normal" antibiotics; those would hurt his internal crop. Ah well, another challenge. I made sure I was protected -- triple gloves, the inner ones dusted, flak jacket with splash guard, full face shield and redundant eye protection underneath. Their saliva is full of venom and septicemia-inducing bacteria. And his mother-in-law is worse? Joe helped with the client interview, as usual. Healthy, no problems other than a bitchy mother-in-law. It was his damn goat, and just getting ripe after sitting dead in the sun for a few days. He was minding his own business and having a snack when she comes along and fangs him in the side and whacks him a few times for good measure. I remembered my EMT days. The ones that rolled in shot or beaten were always "standin around minding my own business when some dude..." I palpated -- didn't feel like any ribs were broken. He'd need sutures, though, and the wound needed cleaning out. Other than that, a good looking beast. "I think he could convince the Wilson's to get rid of the damn geese, what do you think?" I asked Joe. Joe chortled. "That would be fun to watch. Could take care of their yap-dawg, too." "Now Joe, that's being cruel -- the fluff would tickle his throat." Joe chortled more. We agree on a lot of things. "Let's do some rinsing first," I told Joe. Joe conversed with our client. "Go ahead," Joe told me. I started out gently; don't want to surprise anyone here. Rinsed the gashes with sterile saline, and picked out debris. Our client remained nice and still. "Okay Joe, I'm going to use the tester. Tell him to watch out and let us know." I picked up the test spray. I've got a wonder drug. It's an analgesic, anti-inflammatory, anti-biotic and anti-viral, anti-anything pretty much. Promotes healing. In larger doses it's an anesthetic. Great stuff. I have a light dusting of it in my gloves as a prophylactic. Fairy dust. Of course there are a few problems. Supply can be tight, but I've got good sources. The real problems are with the patients. Those from the left-hand path, the dark side if you will, such as vampires and some were-wolves, can't tolerate it. Burns like, well, hell. So I use a tester, very dilute, with each client, just to make sure. You never know. Treated a were-rat a few years ago, couldn't tolerate it at all. Sprayed a little on an uninjured spot. "How's that?" I asked Joe. Joe checked with the client. "Didn't feel it." I spritzed one of the minor gashes; he moved and let out a hiss reminiscent of someone slashing a truck tire. "Any problem?" I asked Joe. "He says that feels good; doesn't hurt any more." That was good news. "Okay. I'm going to have to stitch him up. Let him know I'm going to try the needles." "I already did -- he says nothing can be worse than his mother-in-law." Joe yorped in laughter. I tried a standard suture needle; nothing, not surprising. I picked up one of the specials, and it worked fine. That's another aspect of working with were-clients. Normal instruments, hypodermics, scalpels, suture needles and such, don't penetrate. But silver plated ones do. I sprayed more fairy dust solution into the lesser of the wounds and closed it with heavy spider silk. Like stitching up a wallet or a pair of boots, except this one could still bite. Of course using silver with left-hand path clients causes other problems... But there's a workaround for that; you use silver instruments that have been washed in the urine of a whore. That's been known for many centuries. The modern problem is how to maintain sterility. When you think about it, it isn't surprising that the undead in particular have problems with sepsis. And you can't just boil the urine to sterilize it; that destroys its useful properties. But that was solved by a Russian in the 1950's, using irradiation. We currently have a European colleague who picks up stock in Amsterdam, processes it in an old Russian device for sterilizing seeds (Cesium 137), and distributes the product. But that wasn't a problem here. I was merrily spraying and suturing. "Could he try being nice to her?" I asked Joe. Joe yorped in laughter after a bit. "He says she's impossible -- he tried for years, but no matter what he does, it's not good enough. Not fat enough, or too fat, not ripe enough or too ripe, you know I don't like rats, why don't you ever catch rats. You know how it goes." "I think I do, Joe -- tell him I feel sorry for him, but if he can't make nice, he should stay away from her for a week or so until the sutures fall out." "Already gave him the usual rundown, boss -- Ooh! Another one coming in, you're on your own!" Joe hopped down from our client and out the door, clanking his antlers on the door frame as he hurried out. "Thanks, Joe," I muttered under my breath. I finished my repair job, and gave the sutured areas a little more fairy dust. He moved a little on the stainless steel table. I guess that hiss was contentment. I moved to my patient's head. "I don't know if you can understand me," I said, enunciating my words, as my notes said they were somewhat hard of hearing. "The sutures should fall out in a week. Live well." He nodded his head, hissing and flicking his tail a bit. I moved out of the way so he could go down the ramp and out to the Portal. Don't think I'm going to discuss fees with him... Joe met us on the way and led him to the Portal. He stopped a few meters away, moving his head. He turned, opened his mouth (lots of teeth), and started gagging. He worked up a good one, his whole body lurching. Ah, payment for services rendered! He coughed up a nice looking gold Rolex, complete with hand and forearm. "Thank you," I told him. I guess Joe translated, as our client hissed, then turned back to the Portal. "He want the arm back?" I asked Joe. Joe had silent conversation. "Nah, we can keep it -- not enough meat." "Live well, my friend," I called out to him. He entered the Portal and vanished. Picked up the arm, popped the watch off and dropped it in a tray to clean. The arm and my contaminated things went into the disposal barrel. Joe looked amused. Wasn't sure I liked that. Didn't think it was the method of payment, somehow. "What's up, Joe? Did we have a satisfied patient?" "Oh, him? Yah, he's feeling great. There's a water buffalo he's been after for a week or so, but hasn't felt good enough. That sucker is lunch!" That didn't explain why Joe looked so frisky and amused. Was his prick showing? "Okay, Joe, who came in while I was finishing up?" Joe let out a barely suppressed yorp. "Yeti in the H room. She has a minor problem, nothing you can't handle on your own..." Okay, why was he evading me? "She speak English?" "Better than me," Joe answered. I hadn't seen a yeti in a few years; the last had been a sub-juvenile male with a nasty foot laceration. Come to think of it, he'd spoken superb English, picked up from listening to the BBC. "Okay, Joe, tell her I'll be there in a couple of minutes. I want to wash and take some notes first. Get me her height and weight." Joe hopped off, yorping to himself. Yeah, his testicles had descended. He probably hasn't screwed anything in what, ten hours? He's way overdue... Scrubbed up, did my notes on the were-komodo, and looked up yetis in my database. "Height one ninety," Joe called in my head, "weight eighty eight kilos." A big girl! Standard nitrile gloves and safety glasses should do for this one. I got the general cart for our human-shaped clients. Another crossover from my EMT and paramedic work. But that's another story, how I got on this weird road... I knocked on the door, and after hearing a feminine, "Yes?" I opened it and pushed in the cart. I closed the door, introducing myself as I turned. "I'm Doctor Harris. How are..." She was sitting on the exam table, big and beautiful. Six feet plus, covered in the softest silvery-white fur I've ever seen. Huge breasts with pink nipples barely showing, no, showing a little more. Her fur still showed a shapely waist and hips. Strong legs, and of course huge feet. Deep blue eyes. And radiating sex; I could feel it, smell it. I picked up the fairy dust sprayer and gave myself a shot up each nostril to numb that path, at least a little. The glow hit my head and helped some. "How are you doing?" I asked softer. "What brings you all this way?" The way she moved, I could tell she was in pain. "I have a ... bump, down there," she told me, wincing. "Okay, we'll take a look," I told her. I went through the usual questions as she got comfortable, doing a thorough primary survey including pulse and blood pressure, then had her recline. Brief secondary survey, trying not to enjoy running my hands over her too much... I opened the side doors on the table she was on and got out the ob/gyn stirrups. Used them once or twice a year. Her bump had been growing over the last month and a half or so, and in the last two weeks gotten to the point where it hurt to walk. I had her scoot up a bit, touching her shoulder, so I could put the stirrups in place. Good grief, she was beautiful! And that was from the side! When I stepped between her legs, putting in the stirrups and guiding her feet into place... I had to turn the stirrups around, as they weren't meant to hold feet her size. I could feel the heat radiating from her core, and the sight of that so soft fur... Thoughts of jumping her. "Let your knees out a bit please, dear," I asked. Oho, I think we have a problem... I turned on my exam light. Another flashback to my days as a military medic, Debbie in our squad coming to me off hours complaining of "a rash..." Pretty woman with one of the nastiest cases of a sexually transmitted disease I'd seen. She was lucky that it wasn't resistant, and antibiotics cleaned it up. I gave the whole squad shots for "the rash" just to be sure. Became a code-word for us. And my sexy yeti friend had a large red swelling along the lower left margin of her vagina. No signs of discharge, and my nose was numb so I couldn't tell if she was hiding rotten fish in there. "I see some swelling, dear. I'm going to touch you, gently, to confirm. Is that okay?" "Yes, I understand," she said with a sigh. "Here we go," I warned her. "Please let me know if I'm hurting you." I palpated gently, working around the margin from the right side to the left so I had a differential to work with. Oh, what a pleasant ride she'd be! As I worked up along the right side, her nether lips blossomed and her jewel stood out, so inviting. I was glad my nose was deadened, but even then, I wanted to taste her... Yes, along the left margin, a substantial subdural swelling, confirmed by a gasp and tightening of her muscles. Checked with a speculum, no signs of discharge in a love tunnel that was calling to me. I returned to the problem area. "Yes, right there, dear. You have a swelling, perhaps an inflamed duct. I'm going to swing a light over to take a better look. How are you holding out?" "I'll make it," she said bravely. I swung the magnifying light closer. In a human, I'd call this a textbook Bartholyn's cyst. Comparing the two sides, yes, you could almost see where the duct on the left side was plugged, the distended duct narrowing suddenly. I palpated it gently. Yes, plugged duct, with a swelling about the size of a robin's egg. That's got to hurt! The normal duct looked good sized, as did the face of the plugged duct, ignoring the swelling in the area. I thought for a moment. I swung my stool around to her head. My but her breasts looked delicious... She turned her head to look at me. "Don't frown," I told her with a smile. "Down near the bottom of your opening, on either side, you have small glands that provide lubrication." Glorious lubrication, I'm sure... "They connect to the surface through tiny ducts. The duct on the left side is plugged up. Now this is not from anything you have done -- it just happens some times. Do you have hot springs nearby where you could soak?" She nodded. "Yes, but I haven't done that in a while." I nodded. "I'm not saying that's what caused this. But in the future, spending some time in one might help. Here's what I recommend for today. I'd like to put a hot compress on you for a few minutes, and then clear the duct. I have a number of approaches to try, and I promise to use the least painful first. Before I start, I can give you something to help with the pain. Would you like that?" "Oh yes, please," she agreed, sounding strained and relieved at the same time. "That's what we'll do, then." I stood up and patted her on the shoulder. Even through the gloves, her fur was so soft... "I'll be back in a moment. Just relax, dear -- you're going to be fine." I left the room. I spotted Joe sitting up on one of my bookcases. He chortled. "I'm going to put your head on the wall in my study, and use your flea bitten fur to polish my boots," I told him. He yorped back, "Y te quiero tambin, mi hermano..." I moistened a hand towel and popped it in the microwave to warm. While that was going, I pulled down my Merck manual and reviewed things. Yeah, use a blunt tipped needle, and a bit of pressure on the plug. Then it's catheterization, and last gasp is lance plus marsupialization. Gathered the little vacuum setup and a catch tube -- if that thing cuts loose, it's going to spray, and something told me the contents, if not pus-ridden, could have other uses. Treated a chimera once, a very rare male one, who came in with an impacted and abscessed anal sac. The damn thing cut loose while I was reaching for an instrument. Talk about rank! Took me a week to get rid of the stench, and during that time I couldn't get within five meters of a herbivore -- one whiff of me and they'd take off for the hills! Beep beep -- flipped the towel in the plastic basin and gave the microwave another 30 seconds. Added a large mask to use for her pretty face, and the modified sprayer to the tray, a piece of very small tubing. Wheeled things back to the treatment room. Joe was nowhere to be seen. Good. "How are we doing, dear?" I asked. "I've been better," she admitted with a sigh. "I don't see many of you," I told her. "The last was a youngster, a few years ago, with a nasty laceration..." "That was my cousin," she said. "He recovered quickly, and he hasn't stopped growing!" I prepped the nitrous oxide and oxygen, putting the mask on the end of the hoses. Stepping between those inviting legs again... "Lend me a hand, dear, and hold this for me. Is that too hot?" I pressed the towel gently in place. "Oh, no, it feels quite nice!" she sighed. Did I see those hips rock a couple of times? I stepped to the side again, checking the tray. I was set up. Ah, plug in the vacuum pump and the catch tube. "I'm going to start up a little machine down here, don't let the noise frighten you," I said, and switched it on. She didn't budge, and yes, she did swirl her hips every so often. Back to her side, I showed her the mask. She looked so comfy -- it would be so nice to curl up with her... "Now, dear, I'm going to put this mask on your face. It will help a lot with the pain. You may feel light-headed, even giddy. Don't let that worry you. Just breathe normally, and when I ask, I want you to exhale completely, then take a deep breath for me. Could you do that for me now? Exhale completely..." Wow -- of course, you need large lungs at that altitude... "Now inhale, good! Just relax and breathe normally with the mask in place, and if you feel pain, you need to tell me, okay dear? There's no need for you to go through undue pain." She nodded. "I understand." I held the mask to my face and took a breath, 30% nitrous plus oxygen. Then I slipped it over her face, placing the elastic band behind her head. What pretty lips, pretty at this end, too... "Breathe normally, dear and relax..." After a few breaths I got the fairy dust sprayer and slipped it into the intake tube. I told her to exhale, and she did... I could have gotten bonus points from my colleagues by measuring her lung capacity, but I didn't have the instruments. On her inhale, I gave her a good spray of fairy dust, and another... "Inhale and hold it, hold it!" I told her, moving between her legs as her eyes fluttered. I kicked the nitrous mix to 50-50. Moved her hand and the towel; the area looked nice and pink, her jewel incredibly inviting. But there's work to do... Swung the magnifier back in place, picked up the suction tube and the syringe. Inserted the blunt tipped needle into the duct, down, down, yes there's the plug, pull back the plunger in the syringe to apply suction on the plug, back out... Got some, but not all of it. Expelled the plug into a dish and went for a second round. Got it! And I was rewarded with at least ten cc's of crystal clear fluid! I put the syringe down, and shifting hands, palpated the area, encouraging drainage. I also encouraged moaning. The duct on the other side was leaking -- I used suction on it briefly, massaging that side as well. Both sides felt about the same. I pressed harder on both sides. A little fluid and more moans, her hips moving. "Am I hurting you, dear?" I asked. She moaned, and it wasn't in pain. It would be so nice to strip down and ease myself into all that fur... Nah, not with a client. I know better. So, do I put in a drain? If I put in a drain, I have to take it out again, and it will irritate her and possibly lead to more infection. "Just about done, dear, one more step." I snipped my small tubing in half, lubricated the ends, and slipped a piece into each duct; both went in easily. A little more leakage, cleaned up with the suction. Opened two disposable syringes and loaded each with half a cc of my cure-all, a broad-spectrum antibiotic mixed with fairy dust, new and old. One in each side and pull the tubing, massaging each side gently. Might not have been the right thing to do -- her hips were going, and she was making a lot of noise. I'm sure the dissociative effects of the nitrous and the fairy dust didn't help any. Drop my pants and slide in... "Almost done, dear -- you can do it." If you can do it, so can I... Even though I know I could touch that jewel of yours, and push you over the edge... Fingers, or better yet, my tongue... I refolded the towel to get a wamish spot, and put that in place. "Hold this, dear," I said, putting her hand over it. She clamped it in place. I stood and switched her to pure oxygen. Cleaned up the tray a bit, capping the collection tube. Nice and clear. Moving to her side, I took a wrist, taking her pulse. Strong and fast! She looked at me with such longing in her eyes... "Would you like me to leave you alone for a few minutes, dear?" I asked. She sighed so mightily! Then she smiled and laughed. "No, that won't be necessary." I chatted with her describing what she should do over the next week, and longer term, reinforcing that I didn't think this was the result of anything she'd done or not done. I took her blood pressure and pulse again, much lower. She let me repeat my survey; I explained we seldom saw her kind, and the more we knew about them when healthy, the more we could help when needed. She smiled and told me their group was pretty healthy. One uncle, quite old, had problems with his teeth, but didn't want to do anything about it. I told her I had a colleague down near Alice Springs that specialized in dentistry, and he was very caring and gentle. She put a hand on mine and asked, "As gentle as you?" I smiled and put a gloved had on her shoulder. I could still strip and hop on... "We do what we can to help," I told her. She sighed again. She shuddered as my fingers touched the side of her face, slipping off the elastic band holding the mask in place. I turned off the oxygen. "In a few days, you'll be as good as new," I said. She sat up with a sigh. I stepped closer. "Don't stand up right away; wait a moment." She nodded, smiling. "I may come back to visit in a few weeks?" "That's fine -- send a message and we'll open the Portal for you." "Or you could visit," she said softly with a smile, adding "I'd keep you warm..." Then she stood up and wrapped her arms around me, holding me to her. I was engulfed in soft fur, my head between full breasts, her scent filling me. She squeezed me, and I held her. She let go and laughed. "Yes, I'll be back in a few weeks..." I peeled off my gloves and took off the safety glasses. And as I turned, she pulled me close again. My hands touched her fur. A powerful hand pulled me to a nipple, her arms wrapping around me. I started to suck, receiving a taste of heaven, and she moved my head between her breasts, holding me there. Her fur was so soft, her scent so dizzying... She let go of me; I staggered back, my pants tented. She shook her head. "Ah, and I was being so good... I'd better go. Thank you, again." I smiled. "Yes, you should -- but please return." We walked to the Portal. Joe was sitting off on a different bookcase, trying to look uninterested. She gave me a quick but strong hug, stepped into the Portal, and vanished. "What is the matter with you!" Joe yelled. I turned and laughed. "She wanted it so damn bad! She needed it and so did you! Why didn't you do something!" He was hopping up and down. I laughed some more. "If you couldn't see it, I sure could! She was ready to grab you, and I thought a couple of times you might actually show some sense and do it! What is the matter with you humans!" "Joe, she'll be back. I'll wait." He shook his head. "She'll be back... And you'd better be really rested, and have plenty of that dust handy..." He stopped, turned his head as if listening, and added, "Big and nasty coming our way!" Usually our clients arrive in the Portal without a sound. Some clients however... The room lights flickered, the room groaned, and off to the side of the portal -- Johnny! He was bent over, smoke coming from his mouth, and his right hand? "Burns!" he wheezed. I moved quickly to him, taking him to the big sink, opening a cabinet and grabbing a liter of whore urine. I doused the spots on his hand, then irrigated his mouth. He nodded; must be helping. "Can you rinse your mouth, swish some around?" I asked. He nodded, tilting his head back a bit as I squirted in more. "Don't swallow, just rinse, until I know what's going on," I told him. "Does that help?" He nodded, swirling the stuff around in his mouth. He spat it into the sink and said hoarsely, "Helps, more..." I squirted more in his mouth and he swirled that. I doused his hand a bit more. Johnny is an old client and friend. He's also a vampire. For the last hundred years or so he's been living in the Little Italy section of the Bronx. I've seen him a number of times in the last decade. I help him and he helps me. This wasn't the worse I'd seen him, but he's looked better. A few more rinses, and I had him gargle -- but don't swallow! "You better?" I asked, hand on his shoulder. He nodded. "Yah. Hoo! That was nasty!" He shook his head, and his whole body. "What happened, Johnny?" I asked him, pulling up a stool to sit on. Takes something pretty strong to get to a vampire, particularly one who's been around as long as Johnny. He rolled his eyes around, making faces. "Hoo! Hey, Doctor Bob... Sorry for comin' in like dat. I was out lookin' for a snack, you know, tried this new place, dance club with health drinks. Skinny chicks, model types, yah know?" He gave me an evil grin. "Thought I'd watch my diet, lower fat, cholesterol, and all dat..." I laughed with him. "So this chick, she's comin' on pretty strong, and I didn't even do the eye thing yet, and I'm only lookin for a snack mind ya, she offers me this drink, health stuff. Not even a sip! Burned like hellfire! I spit it out and you see what it did to my hand!" He waved his hand, which was restoring quite nicely. "Hoo, I got out of there as fast as I could, and came here." "So you didn't swallow any of it?" I asked, quite curious. "Nah! Didn't get past the front of my yap! Did it hurt my teeth? They take a while to regrow, and damn, I'm hungry!" He opened his mouth wide for me to look. I pulled the little flashlight out of my pocket and looked in his mouth. "Some blistering, but looks like it's clearing up, and your equipment looks fine. What did you drink?" Johnny shook his head. "Some health nut thing -- fruits juices, amino acids, colloidal water something." I shook my head. "Colloidal silver! That would do it!" He looked shocked. "She tried to poison me! Da skanky bitch!" I shook my head again. "And if you'd snacked on her later, Johnny, you'd be really hurting -- if she was drinking that crap she had sliver particles floating around in her system." He made a face. "I should stick to the fat chicks." "Let's hear it for size tens," I agreed with him. "So is this colloid thing something new I've got to worry about? That was nasty, and if I'd been ... that woulda really hurt!" I shrugged. "As far as I know, it's a fad, and pretty discredited." I looked at my liter container of whore's urine; probably had eighty to a hundred cc's left in it. "You can take this with you, maybe carry a little vial around -- put a drop in a drink if you're worried." He laughed. "Like some of the Hispanic chicks carry vials of holy water? I like it! Give them a squeeze or two, do the glowing eyes thing and make 'em come, and they beg for it! Why..." Joe hollered, "We got more company!" I turned to the Portal. What next? Al appeared, looking shaggy and tired, really tired. Getting gray around the hooves? He looked at me, then Johnny. He looked at Johnny for a moment, then pointed and spat out something in Greek. Sounded nasty. Johnny laughed, and answered in kind. The two approached and pounded each other on the back, trading what I expected were more insults between long-lost friends. I looked to Joe for confirmation. He scratched with a back paw. "Yah, old friends -- dick-sucker and sheep-shagger." Al is a satyr, half man, half goat. He even smelled tired; he usually had a sharp pungency about him. "Al, what brings you by?" I asked as the two of them stopped pounding on each other, standing there grinning. He looked at me. "You'll help anybody, won't you," he said, giving Johnny a cross look. "And I'm glad he will," Johnny said. "I was a-hurtin tonight!" "You know each other?" I asked, hoping for a story. "Oh yeah!" said Johnny, "we met ... a long long time ago! Haven't seen you though for a couple centuries, somethin like dat, yah? Argos?" he said, looking at Al. "You lookin' good, sheep-shagger!" Al smiled, a little less tired a smile. "Doing okay. Guess things aren't so bad if you're still around." I pulled up my stool again. "Hey, sit down if you want. Good to see you both." Joe let out a yodel from his perch. Al looked over his way and laughed, waving. He turned to me. "Surprised you haven't stuffed that bastard and hung him on a wall." Joe made a rude noise. I laughed. "Nah, he gives the fleas something to bite. And he is useful, occasionally." Another rude noise from Joe. Johnny made a creepy noise, his eyes glowing, pointing the evil finger at Joe. Joe floated up in the air, his eyes glowing, opening his mouth to show a set of fangs to match Johnny's. I've seen Joe chase off a pack of coyotes... "Knock it off! No contests tonight!" I yelled. "Scare little kids on your own time!" Al muttered something in Greek. Johnny laughed, and after a bit, so did Joe. Johnny hugged Al again. "We had some good times together -- I could go for more of dat." Al smiled a bit more. "Yeah, we sure could..." He looked at me. "I do the pipes to round up some ladies, get them all hot and bothered, some vin, some mighty fine lovin, and he cleans up," he nodded at Johnny. "Everybody happy. Hey, Doc, you could join in, too. Do you some good." Al clapped a hand on my shoulder. "We'd both promise to leave you alone..." Al and Johnny laughed. Joe made a remark, guess it was Greek, from his perch. Al and Johnny looked at him. Al lifted his nose, inhaling. He smiled broadly, nodding. "Damn, Doc! A yeti, and a hot one at that! You're doin' okay!" Joe said something else. Johnny and Al laughed, Al shaking his head again. "Doc, you really left her alone?" Al asked incredulously. "You didn't do her, on the spot?" Johnny asked, equally incredulous. "No, I didn't," I told them. "She'll be back." Al and Johnny laughed; Joe whistled derisively. Al clapped me on the back. "Oh, she'll be back, and you're in for the time of your life, my boy..." Johnny actually looked wistful. "I remember ... My first trip over the Silk Road, stopping there on the way back, with, who was that bastard? Kubli Kahn? Doc, if you get the chance, go there -- they have cities under the mountains that are un-fucking-believable." He shook his head. "For you, Doc, you'd probably be interested in their society and their art." Al shook his head. "He don't get it. He don't know." Johnny looked at him, made a face, then nodded. "Yah, he can't -- too damn young." Both of them put arms around me, very paternal, if you ignore the fact that I was standing between a satyr and a vampire. "My boy," Johnny said, "Let me tell you a bit about yetis. On a good day, they make him" he hooked a thumb at Al, "look like a priest..." Laughter after a pause... "Okay, not so good a choice. Make that a Shaker. You get the idea, anyway. And this young lady has more than her eyes on you, from what that pervert says," nodding at Joe, who gave a disgusted chortle. "The yetis have a little problem," Al picked up. "When they breed, they only get girls." I gave him a weird look; I'd treated a definitely male yeti, although a young one. But Al nodded, smiling. "The only way to get a male yeti is for one of their females to breed with a human male. Human male plus yeti female gets you a yeti male every time. Oh, you're starting to catch on!" I was... And I'd invited her back... This could be more interesting than I thought... Johnny sighed, looking a bit sad. "You poor humans -- like flies to us. Doc, to us you're going to be gone so soon... Yeah, I know, one of my cousins offered..." What was her name? Sophira? Saphira? She was gorgeous, must be part succubus... She'd offered, when I was old, all I had to do was call her, she'd take me -- and I'd live forever. Johnny nodded. "That's not a bad path, Doc, but the yeti... They don't live forever, but then again, I've never known one to die of natural causes... When they need to, when they want to, they can change a human into a yeti. It's more than change -- I've seen it done, think it was my third Silk Road trip, and it's more like regeneration into a yeti. Play your cards right, Doc, and when you're tired of this life, there's another one waiting." I smiled and nodded. What with the fairy dust, even though I was in my mid-40's, I looked and felt twenty years younger. I had a long run ahead of me. Johnny clapped me on the back, laughing out loud. "But right now, I need me some salsa!" He shook his bony hips, his tongue hanging out obscenely. He gave Al a hug, then stepped off to the side of the Portal. He pointed at Joe. "You are one sick fuck... You take good care of this kid! Anything happens, and you are in for it!" With a flourish, he vanished in a puff of sulfurous smoke. Joe made a rude noise. Al laughed. "Doc, I came here feelin quite down, and I knew you'd help!" "That's what friends are for," I told him. "Well get ready for some more!" Joe hollered. Out of the Portal spilled three... four, five? Five tall, lithe, green dryads, and they were all crying up a storm. I waded into them, moving them from the Portal in case we got more visitors. Tall, lithe, lovely, and heartbroken. They were from an Amazon rain forest, and the last of their grove had been clear-cut. They'd watched it happen, tree by tree. They didn't know where to go, what to do, and a were-croc suggested they come see me, that I could help. Could I? Their trees, all their trees were gone! They were huddled around me, holding, crying. I was surrounded by verdant sex, so primal! With enough fairy dust, I could help maybe three of them... Then I looked at Al... And he was perking up, definitely! "Ladies," I said, hugging who I could, "Let me talk to my colleague for a moment, please." I tried to get away from them, but that took a while, insisting I would do what I could, hugging and getting more hugs. Joe hopped down to a nearby table, taking what I'm sure he thought was a noble pose; the dryads swarmed him. I took Al by the arm and led him away from the crowd. "You wouldn't know of any forested areas needing a group of dryads, would you?" I asked. He looked, no, leered, at the dryads, as he scratched his chin. A smile grew on his face. Other things were growing as well. "Why yes... A small group of islands, declared a nature preserve, replanted oh twenty years ago..." He gave me a leer. "I just might be able to help..." My turn to clap him on the back. I turned and pointed a finger at him. "Wait here. Please." He smiled. "I can wait a while..." I returned to the dryads, who had surrounded Joe and were adoring him. Gag. "Ladies?" I called. They turned to me. They swarmed me. I turned my back on Joe so I didn't see the nasty look he most likely gave me. I talked to them about climate. Could they take cold climates? Not as hot during the summer, some snow in the winter? When I said, "snow," one of them excitedly repeated it, "Snow!" and her nipples crinkled up. I thought I was going to bust my pants! Soon they were all chanting "Snow!" and I was getting dizzy, surrounded by perfect breasts and pert nipples. I guess it would work... I introduced them to Al, who they thought was adorable. I think Al was about to start using the rules we teach for triage situations: when you're outnumbered, start where you stand... But that got me thinking, and dammit, I wanted data... I'd not had the experience of meeting a dryad before. I insisted on physicals on all of them. They thought that was a wonderful idea, but how did I get talked into taking off my clothes as well? I had a minor problem right away: dryads can't count, and they had no idea how old they were. Al guessed these were young ones, sixty to eighty or so. We weighed and measured, and things somehow got out of hand and into hand, or hands... Al was getting to know at least two of them while one was in my lap and another was alternating between kissing me and smothering me to her breasts. I raided the fairy dust, and I don't know how many I helped... They certainly helped as well, something they did with their hands, touching, breathing on me -- well, I guess they're good at getting things to grow... Al certainly helped them, and would continue to help, I'm sure. We managed to get them all swept through the Portal, Al showing them the way to their new home. He looked a hundred years younger! I collapsed, naked still, on a cushion which had gotten dragged out from my office futon. It needed cleaning, but smelled like a lively, sexy, jungle... What a day! And that pervert Joe, hopping up and down, yorping in glee. "That was great!" he called out. "I didn't know you had it in you!" "In them," I sighed. "Are we done yet?" "You're done, that's for sure!" Joe said, breaking into song in a language I didn't know. From him, it had to be bawdy. "Wake me if we get any more customers," I told him, leaning back on the cushion, and trying in vain to avoid the wet spots. Work in ProgressRev 2006/12/12 Open Clinic silli_artie@hotmail.com http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/artie/www Open Clinic <1st attachment end> ----- ASSM Moderation System Notice------ Notice: This post has been modified from its original format. 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