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Subject: {ASSM} Girl Fag - (new) Chapter 12 by Rachael Ross
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Copyright 2004 Rachael Ross all rights reserved.

Please see chapter one for story codes and important background
information. I strongly suggest you do not read this chapter without
first reading the first eleven chapters.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Girl Fag
by Rachael

Chapter Twelve



You know, before I started having sex, I used to do lots of other
stuff. I still did other stuff, I guess, but it didn't seem like it.
I wondered if it was gonna be like this all the time from now on. I
mean it sorta made sense, just thinking about sex all the time and
doing it, since that was all anything else seemed to be about. Movies,
magazines, TV shows, they were all about sex mostly, even if they
weren't.

I remember once when I was real little, like 6 maybe, and Daddy was
tucking me into bed like he always did. He'd make sure I brushed my
teeth and said my prayers with Greg and Henry, cause they were little
too, and then he'd give me a kiss goodnight. Just a little smack on
the lips. But one night I told him I wanted a movie kiss, which to me
was just a really long one, nothing more. I figured that would be fun
cause everybody kissed like that in the movies, so how come me and
Daddy didn't? He'd just laughed at me and rubbed my head a little,
but he hadn't explained anything, and I was left to lie there in the
dark wondering about movie kisses.

Now, eight years later, I knew what movie kisses were about. But still,
nobody had really explained anything, and I was laying on the floor in
front of a warm fire, wondering about movie kisses.

Jane was sleeping beside me, curled up a little under the sleeping bag
we were using, unzipped completely and covering both of us, but her
more than me. We'd shoved the furniture back a little more, tossed
clothes and bags out of the way carelessly, and made ourselves a
comfortable spot to spend the night. I was still warm and a little damp
and sticky after we'd made love, Jane beneath me and impaled on my
fake penis while we'd kissed long and hard. And after, laying there
in the dark and just watching her fall asleep, I wondered if we'd
really made love.

Making love. Everyone in the movies was in love and that had sort of
confused me too sometimes, it didn't hardly seem possible that so
many people could find someone to love so easily. But it was happening
to me, wasn't it? Jane loved me, Sandy loved me, Kyle loved me, and I
loved Sandy and Jane and Kyle and maybe Julie too. At least it felt
like I did when Julie and I were talking, even more than when I was
having sex with the others, but in a different way.

Everybody can't love everybody, can they?

I rolled over a little, facing Jane so I could see her in the dim,
flickering light of the fireplace. I was biting my lips a little and
they felt fat from all the kissing we'd been doing. I shouldn't
have come on this little trip, I thought to myself. I'd thought my
brothers would take care of me, but they acted like little kids. Mark
and David had gotten all mad at my other brothers for having sex with
me, but when it was their turn, incest was just fine. I had let them do
it too, and that was the worst, I'd been more than eager to play
their games. That's what made me mad, that it was all just a game to
them. Like they didn't have any responsibility.

That thought really made me think. I hadn't considered it before, but
I started thinking maybe that was what was most important, and the
reason I was so confused all the time. After my mom had left us, Steve
and Scott had taken a lot of responsibility, and it showed. Our dad
needed them since he was working to keep us warm and fed and clothed,
and my two oldest brothers had stepped up. They'd raised me more than
Daddy had, although that wasn't to say I felt neglected or anything,
just that they'd always been more available, making sure I was okay.

Mark hadn't done that, or David, and Greg and Henry, well they were
just a little older than me, so they didn't count. I'd always
thought I was a boy, but I always knew Steve and Scott treated me
different than my brothers. I just figured it was because I was the
littlest, not because I didn't have a thing between my legs. They
spent more time with me and maybe, I thought, I'd picked up on that
responsibility.

I don't know about girls maturing faster than boys and all that; I
didn't really think it mattered anyway, since I was a boy in my
brain. But I realized that a lot of my problems came from being
responsible, especially when it came to my best friends. I just wanted
to protect them and I didn't understand why they couldn't
understand that. Matt, Lance, John, and Kyle...They were exactly like
Mark and David, I thought. Little kids who didn't think about
tomorrow, or even today unless it involved them personally.

Sex without responsibility was okay, I decided.

So long as you had respect, I added a moment later, thinking about
Coach cause I respected him a lot, and even Miss Haven, whom I
respected but didn't understand. But you couldn't have love without
responsibility and that was where Mark and David, who certainly loved
me, were messing up. Or so it seemed to me, laying there in the dark.
And thinking back on what we'd been doing, I didn't respect them a
whole lot either. I sighed and touched Jane's face, just because I
wanted to feel somebody, and wondered what all that stuff I'd just
thought of meant.

Maybe it didn't mean anything, except I was feeling lonely.

"Still awake?" Sherry's soft voice surprised me and I had
thoughts of pretending I wasn't, but I suspected she'd seen me
stroking Jane's tender cheek. She'd been in the bedroom with my
brothers, all of them sleeping I'd thought, but I guess Sherry
couldn't sleep either for some reason.

"Yeah." I turned so I was flat on my back again, looking up at
nothing. I didn't know what to think of Sherry. She hadn't really
done anything real bad, but it felt like she was behind all this
somehow. I guess I resented her more than anything else and maybe that
was jealousy or something, for the way she was so close to my brothers
maybe, or the way she seemed to possess Jane, I wasn't sure. I wanted
to be mad at her, and I guess I was a little, but mostly I was just
frustrated. Like she hadn't turned out to be the person I expected
her to be.

"Can we talk?" Sherry sounded serious, but she was slipping down to
the floor next to me and I figured she just wanted more sex or
something.

"Talk about what?" I asked her, crossing my arms over my small
boobs so I would touch her by accident, but she was close to me anyway,
stealing a little of the pillow I was using so her head was next to
mine.

"You're kind of mad, huh?" Sherry whispered.

"No." I denied it, of course, and I wasn't sure mad was the right
word anyway. More like disappointed.

"It's okay." She shrugged a little and it sounded sort of
patronizing and I resented her even more. We were quiet for a minute or
two before she spoke again. "It's easy to forget your just 14,
Ann."

"What do you mean?"

"You act different, that's all. Like you're older."

"Yeah." It was my turn to shrug. "That's what everybody
says."

"What I mean is that I'm sorry I made your brothers bring you up
here. They didn't want to, but..." Sherry sighed softly. "...I
wanted to see you."

"Why?" I glanced at her.

"Cause of Jane, I guess. She's never had a boyfriend or anything,
not a real one..."

"I'm not a real one either." I snorted. "I'm just a girl,
remember?" I was being sarcastic, but Sherry ignored it.

"I didn't mean it like that." She was quiet again, thinking of
what she wanted to say I guess. "Do you know what Sadomasochism is?
Like BDSM, ever heard of that?"

"I'm not a little kid." I replied, sounding just like a little
kid. I really didn't know, exactly, but I'd heard of BDSM before
and I was reasonably sure that what me and Coach had been doing was
some of that.

"Yeah, I know." Sherry agreed with me gently. "I just, I want to
explain, okay?"

"Explain what?" I wasn't giving her much of a chance, but why
should I?

"About me and Jane." Sherry reached up, touching me shoulder
lightly. You want to know, right?"

I nodded, thinking I did, but wondering maybe if I shouldn't.
Sometimes people ought to keep their own secrets.

"Jane is submissive." Sherry paused like maybe I'd ask what that
meant, but I could figure it out. "I'm dominant, I like to be in
charge, kind of and so that's what we do."

"Maybe she's just afraid you'll beat her up." I offered and
honestly I did feel like a child then, looking for the easiest and most
understandable reasons for the way things were.

"No." Sherry giggled softly. "She isn't afraid of me. I don't
think she ever was, even though I try to scare her sometimes. She
just..." Sherry searched for the words, "...lets me scare her,
that's all."

"How do you know?" I asked, turning a little because I was finding
myself interested in what Sherry was saying, despite myself.

"I'm her sister." Sherry was smiling, turning onto her side as
well, so we could face each other. "You don't think you could tell
how your brothers were feeling? Even if they tried to hide it, or fool
you?"

"Yeah." I agreed. "I could tell, probably."

"Jane's just afraid of the things I tell her to do, but she likes
that too."

"Like what things?" I asked.

"Like having sex with your brothers." Sherry saw the doubt on my
face; Jane hadn't seemed very frightened of that. "Well, not so
much now." She smiled. "But at first she was terrified and it
humiliated her, I mean it really embarrassed her a lot, and that was
what she liked the most."

"Being embarrassed?" I sort of laughed at that, but I was thinking
of Miss Haven and that sounded exactly like her.

"And degraded." Sherry was nodding seriously. "She doesn't like
boys at all and having sex with your brothers was the worst thing in
the world, well..." Sherry giggled a little, "...the second worst
thing."

"What's the worst?"

"That Jane started liking it." Sherry grinned at me. "Not your
brothers so much, or boys or anything, but just her body, you know? Her
body liked what they were doing and it was like she was betraying
herself." Sherry was silent for a minute, probably remembering what
it was like while I considered what she'd just told me.

"Jane used to cry." Sherry continued. "She used to beg me not to
make her do it."

"So why did you?" I asked, but suspected it was a dumb question.

"Cause it was what she wanted." Sherry nodded slightly, like she
was agreeing with herself. "It was what we both wanted. When Jane
cries like that it just, I don't know, makes me really horny."
Sherry giggled and might even have blushed a little, but I couldn't
tell.

"But she doesn't cry anymore?" I was trying to figure out where
this was going.

"Not about your brothers." Sherry admitted. "Jane's used to it
now, probably doesn't even think about it really. I thought about
finding some other guys, you know? Somebody from school, or maybe a
bunch of guys, like the whole football team or something..." She
sounded a little excited as she said that, her voice taking on a little
edge.

It sort of shocked me though; that would have been, I don't know,
almost ridiculous or something. "Why uh...How come you didn't..."
I was almost afraid to ask.

"But I couldn't do that to her." Sherry continued like she
hadn't heard me. "She has her limits and that would have been too
much." She stopped and thought about it for a minute, her eyes
focused somewhere behind me.

"I love her, you know." Sherry was suddenly staring into my eyes.
"I don't want to hurt her."

I swallowed nervously and stared back at the woman, because that's
what Sherry was. Not a girl at all, but an 18 year old woman, who was
trying to find her own way to what she needed. I felt a little pang of
guilt in my stomach, like a small cramp. I was probably wrong about
Sherry, I thought, or at the very least I hadn't understood anything
about what was going on between the two sisters. I'd just assumed
that Sherry was doing whatever she wanted to and Jane wasn't able to
stop her. I really hoped Sherry wasn't lying to me, but I didn't
think she was.

"Okay." I nodded slowly and we just laid there for awhile looking
at each other. "So um, why did you want me to come with you guys? You
said you wanted to see me or something."

"Yeah." Sherry smiled. "I wanted to see you. I wanted to see what
you're like; I mean if you're like me." She seemed a little
nervous maybe and that was probably something new for her, I guessed.

"Like you?" I asked, wondering what that meant.

"Yeah, like if you're dominant. If uh...if you could make Jane
happy like she wants, or if you don't like it then, I don't
know." Sherry frowned a little, unhappy with what she was saying.
"I'm going to graduate this year, you know? Then I'll be going to
college, I already sent my applications and everything. Jane needs
someone to be with her, see? Someone she can trust. Someone I can
trust."

Sherry looked hard into my eyes, like challenging me somehow and she
wasn't nervous anymore, she was as confident as she ever was and I
felt that sense of intimidation again, but I fought it down somehow. I
wasn't exactly certain what Sherry was saying, but I did know that
when it came down to really important stuff I was trustworthy. Not
because I owed anybody anything, but I owed it to myself. Daddy had
taught me that and it felt like Sherry doubted it. I got a little
pissed, actually, and I guess it showed on my face.

Sherry's face softened and she smiled, just a little, stroking my
side down to my bare hip, feeling the strap of my dildo and playing
with it. "That's what I mean. You're mad now, that's good;
it's what I want."

Her words seemed to melt my anger away and I nodded, like I was
accepting an apology, and maybe I was, I wasn't sure. "Why'd you
pick me?" I wondered.

Sherry shrugged slightly. "Jane picked you, not me."

"Oh." I replied, feeling a little silly for not realizing that for
myself. "Don't I get any choice in it?" I asked, since it sort of
felt like I didn't.

"What? Yeah, what do you think? You pick who you want to be with,
right? And then introduce yourself and let them decide..." Sherry
might have been wondering if I really wasn't a kid afterall.
"...We're just doing it a little...different, that's all."

"Way different." I said to myself mostly. Sherry and Jane weren't
much like other people, I thought. But I'd been finding out that most
people weren't like other people.

"I just had to know, Ann. Like how you'd act when your brothers
fucked her." She was watching me, maybe trying to provoke me again, I
didn't know. "And what you'd say when I told you I forced her to
have sex with me, and if you'd tell us who you were fucking in
school, or keep your secret."

"So you had this all planned?" I laughed a little, like I didn't
believe it.

"Not everything, not exactly, but I knew if I could see you then
I'd be able to tell, you know? I'd figure it out." Sherry gave me
an apologetic smile and her fingernails ran up and down my skin, which
didn't feel too bad at all. "I wanted to make you mad. Sorry."

"You did, kinda." I smiled. "I just felt bad though, mostly." I
wasn't sure how to put what I'd been feeling into words. I moved my
hand up to her waist, my arm under hers, and caressed Sherry's warm
soft skin.

"If you really care about Jane you were supposed to." Sherry
wriggled her body a little closer and I could feel the small hard tips
of her breasts grazing my skin, just above my own hardening nipples.

"I don't know if I'm like you though." I said softly, licking
my lips. "I mean, I don't think I want to see Jane cry or anything,
even if she wants to sometimes." I hoped I'd understood what Sherry
had been trying to explain to me; otherwise I must have sounded like an
idiot.

"You're different, yeah." Sherry smiled like that was okay
though. "Sometimes you act like you're dominant, just a little,
like you wouldn't mind making someone do what you want."

"But?" I asked, raising my eyebrows playfully because I sensed it
coming.

"But, yeah, other times you're more like Jane; like maybe a good
spanking or something would really make you feel a lot better." She
giggled at the look on my face as I thought of Coach suddenly,
wondering if Sherry somehow knew that... "I guess I nailed that one
on the head, huh? Have you been spanked before?"

There was subtle change in Sherry's voice and her fingernails dug
painfully into the taut smooth flesh of my hip, making me gasp loudly.
"Yeah." I nodded quickly, admitting that much, but knowing I'd
never tell her who or where or when. "I've been spanked. I liked
it."

"I know." Sherry let me go and her touch was gentle again, moving
back and forth across my body while I did the same with hers. "You
won't tell me though, will you?" I shook my head and she smiled.
"Even if I spank you?"

I laughed at that. "No." I told her. "I can't."

"It's okay then." She regarded me for a few minutes while I moved
my hand to the side of her breast, massaging it slowly, enjoying the
way it felt under my fingers, heavy and warm, still firm even as it
tried to fall away from her body.

I had the strange thought then of telling Sherry about Nurse Haven,
maybe asking her if she knew what I was supposed to do with the woman.
It was more obvious to me now than ever that Miss Haven was submissive,
if I understood the word right, and needed someone to take charge of
her somehow. It seemed like Miss Haven wanted me to be that someone,
but I didn't know what to do or how to do it. Sherry would, I was
sure.

And then I had an even stranger thought, that maybe I could offer Miss
Haven to Sherry somehow. Like hook the two of them up or something and
maybe they'd both be happier. I thought that Sherry probably felt
guilty, or something else maybe, and that was why she couldn't push
Jane any farther than she had. I didn't doubt that Sherry loved her
sister, but it was sisterly love at the core, not the same as she might
find with Nurse Haven. She had an instinct to protect Jane, I thought,
and that was stronger than the desire to give Jane what she craved in
the form of humiliation or fear or pain or whatever. With Nurse Haven
that instinct wouldn't be there, or wouldn't be as strong anyway.
It almost started sounding like a good idea.

But before I could find a way to talk to Sherry about it, we were
kissing. Just softly at first and I felt her hand on my strapon, which
had been deep inside her sister not so long before. I was definitely
hot all over and I wondered how I'd ever been angry with Sherry. She
was so hot against me, so tender with her kisses. Sherry was really
good at sex, I thought, because just being close to her was making me
shiver inside. It was like she was concentrating every part of her on
those kisses, which were small and short, but incredibly sexy. Her
tongue would dart out, quickly to tease my lips, or sometimes a little
deeper to touch my tongue briefly before she'd take it back. It was
deliberate and teasing and it made me moan with anticipation.

"I'm so wet right now." Sherry whispered. She lifted her leg over
my hip, adjusting her body so she could guide the head of my penis
between her thighs. "I want you inside me."

I nodded, feeling a little rush of breathless excitement. I was hugging
her body to mine, so Sherry's swollen tits were pressed hard against
my much small ones. We moved against each other slowly as Sherry
slipped my strapon into her vagina, pushing herself down slightly so it
sank into her hot flesh slowly. The sensation of our bodies rubbing
each other was amazing; her nipples were so hard I could feel them like
small pebbles indenting my soft skin.

Sherry used her leg to help pull my body against her, thrusting her
pelvis with quick little jerks so that my cock was pushed and pulled
from her pussy a few inches at a time, the head remaining deep inside
of her. The base of the dildo rubbed my clit nicely all the while,
sometimes hard, sometimes barely touching my sensitive little button at
all. It was just the way I liked it and I was soon trying to find extra
leverage of my own, my legs and feet looking for something to press
against.

"Mmmm..." Jane was waking up slowly, probably because she'd been
the something I'd found to push my legs against. I felt her breasts
against my back and her arm went over me and around to Sherry's back,
hugging us both. "This is nice." I heard her say softly and then
she was kissing my neck while her sister kissed my mouth.

We fucked like that for several minutes at least, and I was basking in
the new sensation of being sandwiched between two soft warm bodies. I
could feel my orgasm rising quickly and Sherry let me have it, finally
kissing me deeply as I groaned into her mouth, shuddering and grinding
my clit against the molded rubber of my dildo. I could feel the wetness
pouring out of me and Jane had moved her hand down, worming her fingers
between my closed thighs to feel it, bringing her wet fingers to my ass
and teasing my anus with a fingertip. When she penetrated me back there
it just triggered another small explosion and I was helpless between
the two girls, thrashing wildly against their sweet embrace.

"Like this..." Sherry was whispering after I'd come down a
little, "...on your back..." I was panting as Sherry had me lay
flat and she knelt over my cock, wet and shiny with her juices, facing
my feet. "Put it in me, Jane." Sherry breathed excitedly.

Jane slipped down between my legs, laying on her tummy and pulled at my
strapon, finding the right angle as Sherry leaned back on her arms, her
palms flat on the carpet near my shoulders. I'd never even known
people could have sex this way and it made me giggle a little. I had my
hands on Sherry's hips as she lowered her hungry pussy onto my cock.
Sherry sighed loudly and I heard the soft wet sounds of Jane's mouth
and I realized she was licking and sucking her sister's pussy while I
fucked her. The thought of it filled me with pleasure, small waves of
it that seemed to start in my toes and rush all the way up to my
feverish brain.

"Yeah...suck my clit...oh fuck...Jane...suck it..." Sherry was
gasping and urging her sister to eat her sex while I thrust upward with
my hips, bouncing my butt off the floor and driving my cock in and out
of the woman rapidly.

My clit was painfully sensitive and it was difficult concentrating on
what we were doing, but it didn't matter either, my body was running
on auto-pilot or something and I couldn't have stopped fucking Sherry
even if I'd wanted to. The pain was good too, strange as that sounds,
because even as it throbbed and burned and drove me nearly crazy, there
was something else lurking behind it. Like a sort of runner's high or
something, or maybe just my body trying to protect itself from too much
stimulation, it was like the pain just disappeared suddenly. I was
floating almost, or so it seemed, and a rush of extreme ecstasy filled
me.

I saw stars behind me eyelids and it felt like a ton of bricks were
pressing down on my chest, squeezing the air from my burning lungs. I
was cumming again and this time Sherry was cumming with me. She was
grinding her cunt down on my dildo, rolling her hips and leaning
forward now, clutching Jane's head, pulling her sister's mouth hard
against her pussy as it convulsed around the thick shaft of my cock. I
imagined I could feel those trembling contractions through the dildo
and down to my clit, which still burned, but only with pleasure.

"Do it...you have to do it..." Sherry was giggling like she was
high or something, getting off my dildo slowly, with clumsy awkward
little movements like she couldn't remember how to move her body.

Jane mounted me then, smiling as she faced me in the dim light and
slipping my cock, now soaked with her sister's juices, into her own
wet vagina. Jane lowered herself slowly, letting the dildo go as far
inside her as possible and holding it there, just sitting astride my
hips, and watching as Sherry moved to straddle my face.

I could smell Sherry's sex. It was powerful and musky and as Sherry
brought her freshly fucked pussy to my mouth it seemed small droplets
of her recent orgasm fell across my face. I pushed out my tongue,
wiggling it across the swollen distended folds of Sherry's pussy,
splitting her loose labia easily and releasing a little flood of
pent-up girl juice that ran down my tongue and filled my mouth with the
rich tangy flavor of her cunt. It was slightly sour and salty and
delicious as I went to work, wrapping my arms around Sherry's thighs
and eating her sex eagerly.

"You are a boy!" Sherry laughed breathlessly above me and Jane
giggled as she began to ride my fake cock slowly.

I don't think she was complimenting my skills at licking her pussy,
but I consoled myself with the knowledge that I didn't have a whole
lot of experience. And besides, I thought with a little hidden smile in
the back of my mind, I really was a boy...and here I was having sex
with the two hottest girls in high school. I wondered what Matt and
Lance and the other guys would say if they knew about this! But I
didn't wonder for long because I was finding that eating pussy was
sort of hard work. A lot harder than sucking a cock, I thought briefly.
It made my tongue tired too and it was hot and wet and hard to breathe
down there!

But I didn't care because Jane was fucking me nice. Her tight pussy
just seemed to pull that dildo up with her every time she lifted her
hips, giving my clit a break before she pushed herself back down
gently. It was a long slow fuck and it was really nice, especially when
I realized Jane and Sherry were making out while they made love to my
cock and mouth. I wished I could have seen us somehow, I really did. It
would have been so cool, I bet.

I couldn't make Sherry cum with my mouth, no matter how hard I tried,
but she didn't seem to mind. Jane was cumming though, after riding my
cock for a long time and never really going at it hard either, except
right at the end. When Jane was moaning and squeezing my hips with her
knees, Sherry slipped off my face, giving me a few precious gulps of
cool air before I found Jane almost collapsing on top of me. Her tits
pressed against my chest and her lips found mine, kissing me with
passionate desperation as she rocked her hips back and forth, grinding
her clasping cunt against my cock. She was shivering and I wrapped my
arms around the girl, hugging her as she worked her tongue inside my
mouth, tasting her sister's pussy and sharing the juices that still
lingered there.

Sherry lay down next to us, on her left side facing me and she just
watched us kiss, stroking Jane's back with her hand and smiling
contentedly. We stayed like that for awhile, maybe 15 minutes at least,
Jane lying on top of me, still impaled on my cock, sharing kisses and
smiling, while Sherry stayed close, touching both of us and enjoying
Jane's happiness more than anything else, I thought.

"You two should stay together." Sherry judged finally, breaking the
long moment with a whisper.

I wasn't sure what to say, or even if I was supposed to say anything.
I'd understood enough of what Sherry had told me to know that I
didn't know enough. If everything she'd said was true, and I
figured it was, then Jane wanted, or needed, someone to push her, or
even force her to do things. Like have sex with boys, although I
suspected there was a lot more to it than just that. I just didn't
know if I understood it enough, or could even do it if I did. Sherry
seemed to know a lot about that BDSM stuff, but I knew someone who
probably knew a lot more. I had to talk to Coach.

"I'll do anything you want..." Jane was whispering, and this time
at least I had an idea of what she meant by that. Before it had sounded
like she was just being...I don't know, wishy-washy, or something. I
hadn't liked it very much.

"I told her." Sherry said softly to her sister. "I explained
everything." Not quite everything, I thought, but I let it go.

"Really?" Jane looked like she wasn't sure if she should smile or
not and she seemed to watch my face for a clue.

"Yeah." I nodded, feeling pretty nervous right then. "I'm just
not sure I can um...I mean, I don't know if I know, you know?
And..." I blushed as Jane giggled and Sherry laughed at me.

"I can show you." Jane kissed me. "It's okay, you're strong,
anyone can see that. You just have to let it out more, that's all.
You're the first boy I've ever loved." She kissed me again,
longer this time and it was nice. "The only boy I've ever loved."

"You really think I'm a boy?" I licked my lips and stared up at
her, a little afraid she was going to laugh and prove she was just
teasing me.

"Yeah." Jane smiled, but didn't laugh at all. "I do." She
lowered her face to mine, sliding her soft smooth cheek across my
tingling skin until her lips were on my ear. "I'm just glad
you're a girl too." Jane whispered so softly it was more like a
shadow than a sound.

"She's your girlfriend now, Ann." Sherry giggled. "Not Mark or
David's, not even mine."

I swallowed nervously and my tummy trembled slightly as Jane nibbled my
ear lobe, biting it gently between her sharp teeth. I really didn't
have anything to say to that, did I? I just really hoped I knew what I
was doing, because this seemed a lot more serious than anything else in
my life. It was like I was making a promise or something, or a vow
even, and what would I do if I screwed it up?

"I'm gonna go see what the boys are up to." Sherry giggled and
gave me a friendly kiss, and Jane lifted her head briefly for one of
her own before Sherry went back to the bedroom, probably to sleep,
because it had to be super late I thought, but with Sherry who knew?
She might decide to wake my brothers up for some real cock. I smiled at
that and held Jane tightly as we rolled over, keeping my dildo in her
vagina as she seemed to like it that way. It wasn't bothering me,
that was for sure, and it even seemed sort of sexy, knowing that part
of me was inside her like that, even though I couldn't really feel
it.

We were both tired, but more physically than mentally. My body was worn
out, but my mind seemed alert as ever and filled with questions. I just
didn't want to embarrass Jane by asking the wrong ones, or make
myself look stupid in front of her.

"Are you tired?" I asked her, sort of testing the waters a little.
We were side by side and her hands were playing with my stomach again,
which seemed to fascinate her for some reason. Maybe she'd just never
met a girl with muscles before, not that mine were huge or anything,
but they were defined and noticeable, that was for sure.

"No." Jane smiled, shaking her head slightly. "I just feel like
relaxing."

"Yeah, me too." I nodded and had the sudden sensation of being on a
first date, but the weirdest first date ever since we'd been having
sex all night.

"Do you want to talk?" Jane was looking at me and again I thought
she looked like an angel, I really did.

Julie was beautiful too, as beautiful as Jane in my opinion, but they
were so different. Julie was more like the beauty that's real, you
know? Like something I could touch and possess and understand. It was
beauty of an earthly sort, if that makes sense, and it was only
surprising in that she was so near and seemingly obtainable. Finding
her had been like discovering something precious under the Christmas
tree and you couldn't believe it was yours, and maybe you didn't
really deserve it, but there it was in your hands anyway.

Jane was beautiful the way you imagine beauty to be, something distant
that you wouldn't dare to intrude on. She was something to be admired
and remembered, but not to hold, like a masterpiece of art hanging in a
museum. Or a sunset maybe, of the sort you only see once, and when you
talk to your friends you can't describe it, you can only ask them if
they saw it too, hoping they did so you can share it.

But she wasn't a something. I frowned, realizing I'd been comparing
Jane to Julie, and comparing them both to things. It wasn't horrible
doing that, and I hadn't meant it in a bad way, but I still didn't
like it. Julie was my friend and maybe more than that, although being
with Jane just confused me when I tried to figure out what I was going
to do. Would Julie get jealous of Jane and angry, or would she not
really care, since maybe she only wanted to be friends with me anyway?
Or would she just find the idea repulsive somehow, not really believing
I was a lesbian until the proof was in her face?

And Jane, she was my girlfriend now, like a real one, even though I
hadn't really expected it, or even gone looking for it. It had just
happened. What would Jane think if I told her about Julie? It would be
like with Matt and the guys maybe, except worse. A thousand times
worse, because I hadn't broken any hearts there, I'd just made my
friends a little mad, a bit frustrated and jealous maybe, and that
would be fixed soon, I was sure. But if I hurt Jane, really hurt her
after all this, then what? She wasn't a sunset at all, Jane was right
there in my arms, a thousand times more obtainable than Julie was, even
if Julie did want to be my girlfriend. And if Sherry was right, and
Jane was sincere, then I really did possess her and that realization
was overwhelming!

All of that ran through my little brain at the speed of thought,
twisting and turning and bending my emotions so fast it left me a
little dazed. All I could do was just lay there, wondering what in the
heck I thought I was doing. Everybody said I seemed older, but
everybody was wrong, I was exactly what I was...A 14 year old kid
trying to grow up too fast. But knowing that didn't help, it just
made it worse. I felt like I was going to have another one of those
panic attacks and I really prayed I wouldn't. I didn't want to be
curled up crying and passed out or something, not there, not with Jane
and Sherry around.

I kissed Jane hard, taking her by surprise I think, since she had been
watching the thoughts play across my face with concern. It was all I
could think of to do, just to kiss her and hold her and find some
comfort in being with her. It would be alright, I thought, I would be
okay if this was real, if Jane was real and not just some dream, or
game that my brothers and Sherry had invented for their own childish
reasons. I was afraid that it was all a lie, or if it wasn't, then I
was scared that I would screw it up and accidentally break whatever
promises I was making.

That was my real fear, maybe, that commitment I was trying to make. I
hadn't committed myself to anyone, except Kyle, and I'd broken that
the next day. I was looking for a reason here too, I thought, with
Jane, trying to find a reason to chicken out. And that made me wonder
why I hadn't asked myself the simplest, most obvious question: Why
did I need two girlfriends anyway? Why hadn't the thought of letting
Julie go entered my mind at all? That was all I had to do, risk losing
someone I might love in order to keep someone else I might love.

It was the first understanding I had that love required sacrifice, like
it couldn't exist without it. You had to give something up, it
seemed, pay a price or it was worthless by definition. And that was
almost mind boggling and made me wonder how anyone ever fell in love
with anybody, or at least stayed with anyone they loved for very long.
I thought for a second I was better off not knowing anything about that
stuff.

"I just don't want to hurt you, Jane." I was saying and that
helped, just whispering that and holding her while my brain reeled with
all those thoughts.

"You won't." Jane was kissing me too, smiling tenderly and
stroking my back as we hugged. Her right leg was over my thighs, just
as Sherry's had been, with my cock inside her. "You won't hurt
me, Ann, not like that. Tell me anything, or ask me anything, I don't
care...I love you."

And I realized she thought I was worried about talking to her, trying
to understand what she wanted and why. I felt a little flush of
embarrassment, or maybe guilt, like I wasn't very strong at all and I
was probably lucky she didn't know the real reason I'd gotten so
excited suddenly. I doubted that my crazy fear of being her boyfriend
would have impressed Jane very much. I felt my male pride bruised and I
kicked myself a little for being such a crybaby. This was that girl
part of me again, I thought, looking for something to blame, and it
made me feel better.

"I know." I said softly, nodding and regaining some sense of
control. "I just, uh...I just wanted to say it, sorta." I was
blushing, trying to cover my tracks like any man would do.

"There's a girl I like." I started talking, because if I was
going to make a commitment to Jane then I needed to explain how and
why. It seemed important and it did make me feel strong for a change. I
wasn't a kid and I wasn't going to act like one, not anymore.

"Okay," Jane replied slowly, licking her soft full lips.

"She's...Her name is Julie and she's my age, she goes to CFS over
in Beaverton." I paused, but Jane was just listening. "Anyway I was
um, well I'm sposed to see her tomorrow and uh..."

"Like a date?" Jane asked me.

"Yeah, I think so. I don't know." I giggled nervously and my
heart was pounding a little. I think she likes me and I sort of wanted
to uh, be like her boyfriend. Sorta."

"Is she gay?" Jane was tracing a finger around my breast, looking
down at it so I couldn't see her face.

"I don't know." I shrugged, thinking it sounded like I didn't
know a whole lot about this girl suddenly. "I think so, maybe."

"You should find out then." Jane looked up at me, not smiling, but
not frowning either. "I mean you really like her, huh?"

"Yeah." I admitted. "I like her a lot."

"Then find out; and if she is..." Jane shrugged.

"But what about us? I mean um, I can't be her boyfriend if I'm
your boyfriend and..."

"Why not" Jane did smile then, just a little and her thumb flicked
over my nipple, teasing me.

"Because, I can't. I mean if you went out with somebody I'd be
pretty mad, I think."

"You should be mad." Jane giggled and seemed pretty happy I'd
said that.

This wasn't working out like I expected. I thought she'd be sad, or
angry, or ask me what I was gonna do, or something. Then I would tell
Jane that I was going to tell Julie I couldn't see her, and that I
already had a girlfriend that I loved. Then Jane would be happy and
I'd have made a promise that I'd keep no matter what, and things
would be the way they were supposed to be finally.

But Jane wasn't doing that and all I could do was stare at her.

"I trust you." She sighed, like that was all there was to it.
"You're the one I want to decide what we do, okay? Not me. If you
want to have another girlfriend, it's up to you." She was kissing
my neck softly while she talked. "If you want me to be her best
friend, I'll do it." She squeezed my smallish breast and kissed the
nipple, pushing her sex against my strapon and moaning softly. "If
you want me to watch you fuck her..." Jane looked up at my face as
she took my nipple between her teeth, speaking carefully around it,
"...I will."

I stared at her then, feeling the small pressure of the dildo against
my clit as Jane moved her hips. My nipples were hard and cold as ice,
sensitive to the slightest touch. She was getting off on what she was
saying, I realized, and so was I. It was strange and unexpected,
bringing my body to flush hotly so that the room felt cold and
goosebumps rose on my skin.

"I do want you to watch." I whispered, without really considering
my words. "I want to see your face when I make love to her."

"Oh...yessss..." Jane hissed between her teeth and pulled against
my hip with her hand, tightening her leg behind my thighs, and urging
me to thrust my cock deeper inside her hungry hole.

"I want you to...tell me how much you...love me when I...break
her...uh, cherry." I panted, holding Jane against me as I fucked her
harder, trying to slam my cock inside her pussy hard.

"Oh...oh yeah...fuck her...I want to...to see it...oh god...fuck
her..." Jane's mouth was hanging open and she was rocking her hips
quickly, working her cunt on my cock frantically, back and forth, up
and down.

"I am fucking her..." I gasped. "Right now...Jane...fucking Julie
so good..." And behind my closed eyes that was exactly what I was
doing. I pictured Julie in my arms, my cock buried inside her tight
virgin sex, making love to her while Jane sat close and watched,
whispering to me, telling me she loved me.

"Ohhh...I'm cumming...I...I'm cumming...god! Oh...god!" Jane
was grinding her sex hard, working the full length of my dildo around
inside her soaked vagina and that brought me to my own orgasm, a small
one, but welcome and pleasant and all the better because it had come
the same time as Jane's.

I moaned softly, still working my hips slowly as I hugged Jane tightly.
Her cheek was against my breasts and she was breathing hard like I was,
our lungs heaving in unison and I imagined I could feel heart pounding
against mine, as if we shared the same body for those few wonderful
minutes when were lost to everything else in the world except for each
other.

"You were thinking about her, huh?" Jane asked, her breath hot
between my breasts. We were just regaining our senses.

"Yeah." I nodded, stretching my body a little, so that after an
hour inside Jane's sex my strapon finally slipped free with a wet
squishy sound that made me giggle.

I felt a twinge of guilt, or something though, thinking about Julie.
I'd just sort of...raped her, in my head, I mean. It sounds dumb, I
know, but I wondered why I'd done it and what it meant. I blinked and
tried to put it out of my head.

Jane just sighed happily and reached down with her hand to feel her
pussy. "I'm sore." She grinned. "And so wet! God!" She
grabbed my wrist with her slippery fingers and pulled my hand down to
feel her sex. "Feel that? Get inside...yeah...there..."

She giggled as I felt around her vagina gently, she seemed to be made
of girl juice. The walls of her vagina were soft and loose and as I
explored her, Jane gave little gasps, holding my wrist and trying to
guide me to find the places she most wanted me to touch. I was smiling,
feeling just a little embarrassed maybe, but not much. Jane acted like
this was the most normal thing in the world, to be playing with her
pussy after we made love.

"Here..." Jane whispered a few minutes later, pulling my hand free
and dragging it to her mouth. I stared as she took my fingers between
her lips, one at a time, sucking them tenderly and washing away her cum
slowly with her tongue.

"Uh, okay." I choked softly, unable to think of anything more
clever than that. What she was doing was not just sexy to watch for
some reason, but it felt really good too, like somehow the sensation of
her lips and tongue on my fingers was turning me on.

"Whatever you want me to do..." Jane was even licking and kissing
my palm, dragging her tongue slowly across my skin so that it tickled a
little, but mostly just made me feel hot all over. "...just tell
me." Jane smiled and let go of my hand finally, getting comfortable
and pulling the sleeping bag over our legs and hips.

I couldn't believe we weren't sleeping yet, but I didn't feel
tired at all. I figured it had to be like 4 in the morning probably,
and I was going to be dead at that scrimmage later, not to mention if I
really did somehow go to Beaverton to meet Julie. I wasn't sure I
could go even if I wanted to. I was going to be tired as heck and I
didn't have a ride lined up either. And Jane, had she been serious?

"If you do make me watch..." Jane breathed a few minutes later,
sliding her body up mine a little, so our faces were close together,
"...it'll be even better." Her smile was shy and I kissed her
nose so she would giggle.

"You won't be jealous?" I wondered if Jane had read my mind or
something, and I was thinking I had an awful lot to learn about her. It
was pretty obvious she'd really liked the idea of watching me with
Julie and now it sounded like she'd meant it.

"Of course I will." She rolled her eyes. "God, I'll hate it. I
hate her right now just cause I know you were thinking about her while
you were fucking me." She giggled as she saw the confusion on my
face. "But that's why it's so good too."

"Do you um, do you like spankings and stuff?" I coughed softly,
trying to sound cool, but I wasn't cool at all. Jane didn't seem to
mind though and maybe she'd been waiting for me to ask.

"Do you want to spank me?" She teased and didn't give me a chance
to reply because she knew my question was a real one, she just
couldn't resist and it made me grin. "Yeah, I like it. We tried
some stuff, Sherry and me, mostly from pictures and stuff on the
internet."

"Like what?" I reached down to unstrap my dildo, it had been biting
my skin for a long time, but I'd ignored it. I could feel the little
indentations where the straps had been and they itched. I tossed it on
the bed and got a little closer to Jane, so that our pussies almost
touched, with our legs scissored between each other's.

"Like spanking and being tied up, gagged and that stuff." Jane
spoke softly, watching my face for reactions. "We didn't really
know what we were doing, you know, but it was fun and yeah, I liked
being punished."

"How about having your boobs whipped?' I asked slowly, thinking I
knew a little about that at least.

"Oh!" Jane smiled like I'd just asked her to a picnic. "We
never did that, but I'd like to." It was about as open an
invitation as I'd ever heard and I swallowed thickly.

"And, um...Could I put clips on your nipples? Like with a chain and,
uh...pull them" I don't know why I was so nervous, maybe it was
because I was putting myself directly into the question.

"Of course!" Jane laughed lightly. "You can do whatever you
want!"

"I can't do whatever I want." I shook my head laughing. "I mean
there must be some stuff that you really know you wouldn't like."

"Um, well..." Jane appeared to consider that, while I tried to
remember everything Coach had ever said on the subject. But aside from
his thing with safe words and holding the balls while he whipped my
tits, I couldn't seem to remember much at all.

"What?" I pressed her. Jane had to give some idea of where the
finish line was, I mean we were just at the starting blocks and I
didn't even know where we were going!

"I don't think I want to be like shocked or anything." Jane gave
a little involuntary shiver. "I don't like electrical stuff." She
sounded pretty definite on that subject.

"Okay." I shrugged, wondering who did. I'd touched a few electric
fences, and crossed a tractor battery once; and that hadn't been fun
at all, it really knocked me on my butt.

"And uh, I guess I want to stay awake, I mean if we do stuff." She
looked at me and it seemed like she wasn't really a hundred percent
sure. "Sleeping is kinda boring and I sorta want to remember
everything."

"Uh-huh, sleeping is bad." I grinned and she giggled.

"Well, I don't know. I guess it sort of depends." She looked down
as if she were a shy little girl of 8 instead of almost 17 and a high
school junior. "I heard of a girl who passed out at a party..." She
glanced at me, "...Do you know Nancy Westin?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "I fixed her mom's car about a month ago.
She's in 11th grade too, right?" I didn't really know Nancy too
well, but nobody in Squinosha was really a stranger either. She was
quiet and looked like a bookworm, sorta, with round glasses and short
black hair. She wasn't beautiful or anything, but she was cute with a
nice body and she just needed to be more outgoing or something.

"Yeah." Jane said. "Anyway, she went to a party at Marshall
Dennison's house last summer and got really drunk. It was like her
first date or something, first party for sure..." Jane laughed and
rolled her eyes. "...so she ended up in one of the bedrooms and like
every guy at that party had sex with her."

"Really?" I watched Jane lick her lips and nod. "She let them do
it?"

"She didn't know!" Jane giggled like that was the best part.
"She was totally out of it and didn't find out til like 4 in the
morning when she woke up."

"What did she do?" I asked.

"She couldn't do anything." Jane grinned and squeezed my arm, but
I felt sort of sorry for the girl. "She was still drunk and sick too,
so she went to the bathroom and tried to clean herself up. She was so
embarrassed she didn't scream or yell or anything, she just went home
and I guess her mom got really pissed and grounded her for life or
something."

"They shouldn't have done that, I said." Wondering why Jane
thought that story was so cool. "You think she liked it?" I asked
sharply, and I guess I sounded a little like I was accusing Jane of
being part of it because she jerked her head back like I'd slapped
her.

"What?" Jane shook her head. "No, of course not, it pissed me off
when I heard about it. I don't know her very well, but she didn't
deserve that."

"Then what's so funny about it?" I asked her.

"Nothing." She shrugged. "I just sorta wish it happened to me,
sometimes. It's not funny, just...sexy." Jane's voice had just
about fallen to a whisper and she must have thought she'd really made
me mad, or disappointed maybe.

I didn't know what to say to that. Jane wouldn't look at me and all
I could think of was my beautiful angel in bed asleep and being gang
raped by every high school guy in Squinosha that I could think of. It
didn't seem really sexy to me, but I didn't want to be totally
humiliated in public either. No wonder Nancy never seemed to go
anywhere or do anything except read books at home. I would have moved
to another country. Jane couldn't really mean she'd do that, could
she?

"You want me to get you drunk some time?" I looked at her, asking
seriously because if that was the sort of thing she wanted I wasn't
sure I was the right guy at all. She might even need some kind of help
or something, you know? Like professional help.

"Get you in bed and call all my friends over so they can fuck you
while I watch? Take pictures of it maybe?" I felt some weird emotion
rising as I spoke. It wasn't really anger, more like...I don't
know. I wanted to punish her somehow. "You wouldn't even know who
fucked you, but everybody else would. Is that what you want?"

I grabbed Jane's hair, without really meaning to, and maybe I was a
little mad then because I really wanted her to look at me.
"Ahhh...!!" Jane gasped loudly as I pulled her head back, tilting
her face upward so I could see her wide frightened eyes.

"You want that, Jane?" I asked, but the look in her eyes washed
away my anger completely and I was already feeling bad for scaring her.

"Yessss..." and she was kissing me, just little wet ones on my
cheeks and chin and lips. Her hand was on my neck and about the time I
was ready to ask her what was going on she was working her tongue into
my mouth.

I almost pushed her away, just because I thought she'd blown a gasket
or something, but I managed to do the better thing, which was to let
her kiss me. That wasn't really bad for me, to be honest, but I was
just figuring out that Jane had a serious 'ON' switch and I had to
be a little more careful about what I said to her.

"Slow down..." I smiled and hugged her when she'd finally made
her point. She liked having her hair pulled, especially if I looked
like I was angry, I got it. Most girls probably would have screamed and
tried to gouge my eyes out, or at least slapped me hard. But there was
nothing about Jane that was anything like most girls, not her looks,
and definitely not her attitude.

"I can't help it..." She breathed, giggling a little and blushing
so hard I could see it even by the flickering firelight. "...I
just...I've been waiting to be with you for so long and now..." she
licked her lips. "It's perfect."

I guess she meant it was perfect that I could not only feed her
fantasy, but even be tough with her, although that had been totally by
accident. I wondered if that was what BDSM was all about, getting mad
all the time. But Sherry hadn't gotten mad at Jane at all, and it had
quickly been obvious to me that Sherry was in charge. And Coach, he'd
never, ever gotten mad at me. When he had whipped my tits and spanked
me, or even just made me hold his balls in my mouth for an hour while
he beat off, he always gave me a feeling of security, like no matter
what happened, he wouldn't get mad at me.

I started thinking that probably Jane had never been with someone who
knew what they were doing, someone experienced like Coach, and so I was
probably lucky that way. Jane had only been with Sherry and they'd
basically both been learning at the same time, which was probably a
little frustrating. Like trying to learn chemistry from a friend in the
basement with nothing but an old textbook and some pictures. You'd be
lucky you didn't blow yourselves up or something; or more likely,
you'd just get bored and go upstairs to watch some TV.

We finally did fall asleep, although it wasn't easy and I didn't
realize it until I was waking up. Jane was still next to me, snoring
softly and it was kinda cute, finding out she wasn't completely
perfect. Even angels snore, I guess, but it was so soft. You want to
hear snoring, walk past my Daddy's door around 3am, you'd think he
was cutting a new window with a rusty chainsaw. I wondered sometimes if
I snored, but nobody had ever said anything about it if I did. I hoped
I did, but just a little, cause I always made a soft snoring sound when
I was pretending to be asleep.  But I never fooled anybody either, so
probably I didn't.

"Hey lovebirds! It's 10:30 and you're gonna miss breakfast!"
Mark was banging a plate with a fork and I was seriously glad I
didn't have a hangover or anything, but I coulda slept for two more
hours I bet.

"Bathrooms open!" Sherry was walking out with a sheet wrapped
around her, soaked through as she dried her hair with the end of it.
"No towels, sorry." She sat down at the little round table in the
kitchen where David had laid out some plates, spooning scrambled eggs
onto them.

"Mmmm..." Jane stretched next to me, sitting up and lifting her
arms above her head so the sleeping bag fell down exposing her breasts.
"...oops." She smiled at me and pulled it back up. "Hi."

"Hi." I just lay there, looking up at her, smiling as I blinked
against the bright sunlight coming through the windows. The curtains
were closed but they weren't helping much. "Shy this morning?" I
teased her a little about covering herself up and glanced down at her
hand clutching the sleeping bag.

"Huh?" She looked down, following my eyes to her breasts and
giggled. "Oh, um, I'm your girlfriend, not theirs." She paused
tilting her head a little. "Unless you want me to..."

I shook my head. "No." I figured Jane had played the slut long
enough for my brothers, and Sherry too probably, although I was pretty
sure I'd have no control over what happened in the privacy of their
home. They were sisters anyway, so what right did I really have to
interfere there?

"Okay." Jane sighed and bit her lower lip with smile, like she was
really happy with that decision. "I'm gonna take a shower, do you
want to come with?"

I did want to take a shower with her, a lot actually, but I kind of
thought maybe she should have some time alone too. I know sometimes I
just wanted to get in the shower and lock the door, cause there were
times when you needed to wash away more than just a little dirt, you
know? And besides I wanted to talk to my brothers about Jane and I
wasn't sure I wanted her to be there, not knowing what I was going to
say exactly, or how they were going to react.

"No, you go ahead." I told her. "I'll uh, find you some
clothes." I laughed and she just smiled. I did need to use the
bathroom though, and that couldn't wait I decided. "In a minute."
I added, slipping out of the warm sleeping bag and feeling the cool air
on my bare skin. I peed quickly and washed my hands and face, frowning
because Sherry was right; there wasn't even a washcloth in that
bathroom; we'd pretty much gone through all the towels and they were
piled wet in a corner. So I wiped my hands and face on the bedspread
and went to find our bags.

"Eggs are getting cold, guys." David said, watching me move around
the living room bare butt naked.

"Getting gone too!" Mark added, his mouth stuffed with food.

I finally found our bags and grabbed my backpack, digging through it
quickly for my boxers and finding my big old flannel shirt too. I put
my boxers on and gave the shirt to Jane so she would have something to
wear to the shower at least. I found her backpack and her purse, not
knowing if she needed that or not, and gave her a smile as she went to
the bathroom. I didn't bother putting on anything else, my shorts
were enough, and I liked the way the cold was waking me up anyway.

I sat down and started eating the bacon and eggs, finding out that I
was really hungry. I hadn't noticed it before and I think everyone
was feeling the same way. David was going to have to cook some more, I
thought.

"So, are you and Jane happy?" Sherry asked me, eating her food a
little slower than the rest of us.

"Yeah." I nodded, swallowing some bacon before I continued.
"We're happy, I think. But um, I'm not sure about these guys."
I looked at my brothers, who were leaning against the counter next to
the stove.

"What?" Mark looked at me, but mostly at my little boobs. I
didn't care, I was still just a guy and he was my brother, but of
course last night had changed everything. I was just slow to realize
it.

"Ann and Jane are sort of ahhhh..." Sherry dragged it out like she
couldn't think of the word. "...item." She giggled.

"An item?" David looked at Sherry for a second and then looked at
Mark. "The hell's that mean?"

"She's my girlfriend." I laughed. "You're pretty quick in the
mornings, huh?"

"Girlfriend, really?" Mark grinned at me and then stopped grinning.
"She uhhh...she's still going out with us tonight, right?" He
looked at Sherry.

"So you're a total lez now, Ann?" David was asking.

"Don't ask me." Sherry shrugged. "You have to ask Jane..."
she paused, turning to me, "...or do they need to ask you?" It was
obvious what answer Sherry wanted to hear.

"They can ask me." I shrugged.

"Dad's gonna be so pissed." David chuckled as he shoveled more
eggs in his mouth.

"So?" Mark stared at me, his food all but forgotten. "Is she
coming or not?"

"No." I licked my lips, really hoping this wasn't gonna be a
fight.

"What?" David was catching on finally.

"Good for you." Sherry giggled and reached across to pat my arm.

"Why not." Mark asked me.

"Because she's my girlfriend, okay?" I dropped my fork with a
little clatter on the plastic plate. "Maybe you guys share your
girlfriends, I don't."

"But that's..." David was looking for the right words.
"...that's not right. We've been going out with her for two years
already."

"No." Sherry corrected him a little coldly. "You've been going
out with me for two years. Jane has been tagging along. It's about
time she got a real boyfriend of her own." She softened a little.
"Besides, I was getting tired of sharing you guys all the time."

"But she's not a real guy!" Mark protested, pointing his fork at
me. "You can't be her boyfriend! That was all a joke!"

"This was just supposed to be fun..." David was saying to Sherry.
"You said bring Ann and we'd have some fun."

"It's not a joke to me." I glared at Mark. If he wanted to fight
I'd lose, but he'd know he was in one, my eyes promised him that
much.

"We had fun." Sherry laughed, but it was short and cruel.
"Didn't you have fun?" She stared at David. "Didn't you?"
She turned her eyes on Mark. Neither of them said anything. "Now if
you don't want to lose your ONLY girlfriend, you'll just shut
up."

"But..." Mark started talking, but Sherry cut him off.

"What did I just say?" She demanded. "What did I just tell
you?"

"Shut up." Mark muttered. "Sorry."

I was pretty amazed really and I wondered how she'd taught them that
little trick. Neither of them spoke, Mark went back to eating, with
somewhat less enthusiasm, and David started cooking more eggs for Jane,
who was still in the bathroom.

"They have the same problem all your brothers have." Sherry took a
bite of her toast.

"What's that?" I asked, smiling.

"They just look too damn good." Sherry shrugged. "Every girl they
ever met spoiled them." She sighed and leaned across the table a
little, like she was sharing a secret. "The trick is to not care if
you break up or not, they can't even imagine a girl breaking up with
them...but I will, won't I guys?" She said a little louder.

"Yeah." Mark agreed.

"Yes." David beat the eggs in the bowl a little harder, frowning.

"You really would?" I asked, because truthfully I'd never heard
of any girl breaking up with any of my brothers, even Steve who'd had
like 20 girlfriends over the last 8 years or so. They always broke up
with the girl, or said they did, and I believed them.

"Hell yeah." Sherry giggled. "Boys are like Doritos, Ann, eat as
many as you want...They'll make more."

I laughed at that, although I wondered if that applied to me too.

"Hi!" Jane was walking into the kitchen right then, looking at me
and then at Sherry, wondering what we were laughing about. "I miss
something good?"

By the time we got packed and on the road my brothers were talking to
us again. If they weren't happy with my new relationship with Jane,
they didn't show it and I thought that they'd probably had a talk
with Jane and Sherry while I was showering. When I came out Jane gave
me a long wet kiss and pretty much stayed as close to me as possible,
demonstrating her affections plainly for my brothers it seemed. I have
to say I didn't mind and did much the same as well, feeling sorta
possessive despite my brothers' grudging acceptance. I just wanted to
make sure, I guess.

Sherry sat in front, between Mark and David, and kept them busy with
whispered promises and little kisses. In the backseat of the big Ford,
Jane and I just talked mostly, sitting close and just getting to know
each other really. It would have been pretty embarrassing to find out
that me and my new girlfriend didn't have anything in common, but we
found that we didn't have any problems with just being friends. It
was sort of a relief, for both of us I think, and we were able to
totally relax by the time the drive back to Squinosha was done. It was
a fast hour, believe me, and I was reluctant to let go of Jane, not
sure exactly when I was going to be with her again. I thought hard
about canceling my date with Julie and spending the night with Jane
instead.

"You have to be sort of careful with Jane." Mark said after we'd
dropped the girls off and were headed home.

"What do you mean?" I asked, wondering if he wanted to start
something again. It seemed silly since none of my brothers had ever had
much use for fighting over a girl. At least with each other, I mean.

"I just mean she uh, well...She might not always remember that um,
your not..." Mark didn't want a fight, I realized, he was being too
careful picking his words.

But it was a little irritating "What? Just spit it out already."

"You're not out of the closet, or whatever." David finally said.

"Huh?" I looked at David, leaning forward on the back of the front
seat so my head was between them.

"That you're a lezbo." David shrugged. "Jane might sorta
forget. She wants to come out."

"What? Why?" That didn't make any sense to me at all.

"I dunno..." David looked at me. "Too much gay pride in her
orange juice or something." He sounded like he was still a little
sore because Jane wasn't gonna be there for them anymore.

"She hates her parents." Mark answered. "Or maybe she just wants
their attention."

"Like, 'Look how queer up I am! You shoulda loved me more!' "
David said in a bad imitation of Jane's sweet voice. He giggled and
Mark hit him in the shoulder.

"Shut up." Mark told David, glancing at me. "She say anything to
you about it?"

"Dad finds out you're queer he's gonna wig." David predicted
and I thought he was probably right.

"No." I bit my lip for a second, thinking hard. "She won't say
anything." I shook my head. "She's kept her secret with Sherry
for like four years."

"You're not her sister." Mark shrugged. "I'm just saying
maybe you should talk to her, you know?

"Yeah." David nodded. "Talk to her."

Life always found a way to make things complicated, didn't it? Like I
didn't have enough on my mind now I had little doubts about whether
or not Jane was gonna do something that might tell everyone we were
lovers. Or maybe tell her parents that she had a new boyfriend and he
was...surprise!...a girl! That would get her plenty of attention, and
me too as soon as her dad called my dad. Life as I knew it would be
over either way.

"What time is it?" I asked, glancing at the dash. It was just
barely noon, 12:03pm. I had time. "Turn around."

"What?" Mark turned to look at me.

"Go back, right now. Turn around, I want to talk to Jane."

"Just call her on the phone, we're almost home." David was
smiling at me like I was crazy.

"I want to see her." I stared at Mark. "Now, Mark, turn
around!"

"Okay, Jesus." Mark pulled over and made a big u-turn and glanced
at me as if to ask if I was happy or not.

This was something that couldn't wait, I'd decided. And I
couldn't do it over the phone either, I had to see her eyes and make
sure she knew that I couldn't afford to get caught. I had enough
problems with my reputation already, I didn't need more, did I? I
mean half the kids in school thought I was lesbian anyway, and the
other half probably thought I was a boy pretending to be a girl
pretending to be a boy. They couldn't get their brains around the
simple truth that I was a girl who was really a guy. But if I was a
lesbian, how would that be different from being a guy? I mean
seriously, if I was a boy inside, and not totally queer, then I should
be a lesbian, right? The only thing wrong with me was that I liked guys
too. And nobody would care about that, since I was a girl! It all made
perfect sense!

"Turn around!" I tapped mark on the shoulder with my fingers
impatiently.

"What?" Mark stared at me. "Turn around?"

"I'm getting dizzy!" David rolled his eyes.

"Now you know how I feel all the time." I muttered to David and
then looked back at Mark "Yeah, turn around. I want to go home." I
nodded. "Now, come on!"

"But what about Jane?" David asked, looking bewildered.

"I'll talk to her later." I frowned a little, wondering nervously
if I was doing the right thing. "I gotta talk to Daddy first."

Mark glanced at me as he made another big u-turn, but didn't say
anything.

"Why?" David looked surprised.

"Cause I gotta tell him I'm gay." I said and that was the end of
the conversation for a while.



=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=


The end of chapter Twelve
rache696@yahoo.com

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