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From: T J <dangermouseesq@yahoo.com>
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Subject: {ASSM} The Librarian (8/?) (MF Mf Ff 1st humor cons lolita reluc bi het cheat group exhib voy oral anal solo pett preg) by DangerMouse 
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Date: Sat, 01 Oct 2005 23:10:02 -0400
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Damn You, Louis Prima!

The fact that it was Saturday did not necessarily mean
that I didn't have to go to work.  The Library and
reference desk are open on Saturdays as well.  The
events that unfolded that morning made me feel as if
that day should have been declared a national holiday,
but, alas, it was not to be.  I had to drag myself
away from two beautiful women and get ready for work.

In the shower it hit me.  My wife had, heretofore,
maintained that she would not allow me to touch
another woman.  In fact I believe that a threat had
been made involving a date between the offending organ
and a runcible spoon.  I didn't think it prudent to
investigate whether that particular threat had any
teeth, so to speak.

Now, she had not only allowed me full access to
another woman.  This particular woman was obviously
under age, a girl really, and apparently pregnant.  My
mind, pleasantly sedated by post-orgasmic endorphins,
twaddled merrily around my brain pan as it considered
the ramifications of these facts.  It was not in any
condition to do any mental heavy lifting.  I was
pretty sure that I didn't have the necessary facts to
properly consider it anyway.

I worked through the morning in a bit of a fog.  That
is not generally a problem on Saturdays as we usually
spent the day babysitting the internet computers and
users.

At lunch, when I entered the break room, my day took
an unexpected turn.

The director was there.  She never comes in on
Saturdays.  Something was up.  I didn't think it would
be good.

I was invited to follow her to the conference room. 
It was one of those invitations that was not meant to
be optional.  

Our conference room was set up with several sets of
lights.  The lights over the table were turned on, but
the edges of the room were nearly obscured with
darkness.  I could see that there were three other
people in the room, but I could not identify them.

I was seated in the pool of light at the table with
the director.

"We have been watching your activities in the staff
room recently" the director stated.

Any remaining endorphins fled my brain like rats
fleeing a sinking ship.  They were replaced my
marauding bands of adrenaline.  They indicated two
choices.  I could stand and fight my director and
anybody else in the room that chose to join, or I
could run away.  She continued before I could decide.

"My first inclination was to fire you, or perhaps call
the police.  My second inclination was to do the
option I hadn't done with the first inclination" she
related with no expression.  "Then I received a visit.
 It is now apparent that you are, perhaps, the
luckiest man in all the world."

Lisa and Stanley stepped into the light.

The director continued. "I'm not sure if you are aware
of the fact that Stanley Jacobsen is the President of
the Library Board of Directors."

Oh.  Was this good news?  It must have been, it
appears to have kept me out of jail.

I said nothing and she continued.  "Stanley and his
wife Lisa just happened to stop in my office before I
took any action against you.  You have now become the
beneficiary of circumstances beyond the control of
anyone, at least anyone in this room."

She paused to take a breath as if she could not
believe what she was going to say.  She continued;
"Due to budget cuts from the federal, state and local
levels, libraries all across the country are running
short of funds.  You know that ours is no different. 
Stanley and Lisa have proposed that I use your ...
talents ... to bridge our budget shortfall."

"How could you possibly do that?" I asked, knowing
already that my options were dwindling quickly.

"You will provide your services, for a fee, to a very
select group of Library patrons.  These patrons will
be selected based on multiple factors, but will
include a desire to be sexually satisfied in some way,
and access to the fee for your services."

"I am going to be a male prostitute for the Library? 
And you are going to be my pimp?"

"More or less" she replied.

"This will never fly with my wife" I shot back as the
third figure stepped into the light.  It was, in fact,
my wife.  It looked like this idea was, in fact, going
to fly with her.

"We get 50% of the fee" she said by way of
explanation.  "The director, Lisa and Stanley called
me as soon as they had the idea.  As you might think,
I was dead against it at first.  Then I thought about
it.  The extra money is nice, of course, but an added
bonus is a safe outlet for your excess sex drive.  I
was always worried about you going off and doing
something stupid when you got extra horny and I wasn't
in the mood."

"Isn't that exactly what I did?"

"Well, yes.  But luck was on your side.  You were
incredibly stupid with just the right people at the
right time.  As your director said, you are one lucky
man."

"What are my options then?" I asked.

The director took it from there.  "You will continue
on, much as you have, `servicing' library patrons. 
The only difference is that those patrons must be
pre-qualified to use your services.  Adults would have
to qualify as I stated earlier.  Minors would have the
extra requirement of parental or guardian consent, as
well as a 200% legal risk surcharge, which will also
be shared with you.  Your other option is to refuse. 
In that case, you will lose your job and I will inform
law enforcement of your activities.  We have
documentation," she said shoving a small stack of
pictures toward me, "of at least three counts of
statutory rape.  You know as well as I that it doesn't
matter that the sex with these girls was consensual. 
They are underage so it would be an automatic felony
charge."

I flipped through the pictures.  They were obviously
covert shots of me eating Emilee and having sex with
both April and Katelin.  Ah, memories of the simpler
time when I was simply boinking beautiful young women.
 "Can I get these in wallet size?"

I guess from now on, it would be part of my job
description.  Well, at least I didn't have to hide
anymore.  This started my mind turning on the
logistics a little bit.

"Where would these blessed events take place?"

"We will modify the large room behind the elevator for
such purposes.  It will be soundproofed and
re-decorated to make it more appealing for your
purposes.  It will be locked off from normal staff
use."

"I guess my hands are tied" I said finally.

"That can be arranged, if the patron desires it" said
the director.  I think that was a joke.

"Very funny" I said as I started to relax a bit.

The director rose and left the room.  I sat, stunned,
for a minute before anybody said anything.

"Sorry this came as such a shock to you," Stanley
started, "it really appeared as if you were going to
be severely punished for something that you didn't
really start to begin with.  My wife and I were
discussing the financial challenges faced by the
Library over dinner the other day and Katelin had the
idea ..."

I interrupted, "This was Katelin's idea?"

"Yes, actually" said Lisa.  "After her visit with you
the other day, she could do nothing else but talk
about when she could go again.  We tried to tell her
that it wasn't your job to take her to the back room
at the Library whenever it struck her fancy.  She said
that is should be.  Libraries are supposed to help
people find what they need.  People would even pay for
it if they really needed it.  It hit us both just
then.  This could be used to make money for the
Library.  We contacted your wife immediately and told
her what happened.  As she said, she wasn't thrilled
at first, but came around."

Why is it whenever April, and now Katelin, has an idea
I get screwed, literally.  If those two ever got
together, it could be dangerous.

I looked at my wife.  I opened my mouth to ask her
what the hell happed that morning with April.  She
kicked my shins in a way that suggested I might want
to save that topic until we got home.  That was
probably a good idea.  I'm not sure how much Lisa and
Stanley knew about April.  My mouth snapped shut.

I looked at Stanley.  He said nothing, but gave me a
rather reassuring look.  He would have my back.  I'm
assuming Lisa could hold her own if push came to shove
on an issue.  I was sure my wife could.

"Well, now that all of my decisions had been made for
me, I need to relax a bit before I go back on desk."

I heard the Jacobsen's and my wife talking as I left. 
I heard my wife say "I'll hang around this afternoon,
just in case he flips his lid."

I rose and walked to my desk.  I put on my headphones,
wanting to listen to some of my MP3's to relax.  The
first song in my playlist was Louis Prima's "I'm Just
a Gigolo"


DM


		
__________________________________ 
Yahoo! Mail - PC Magazine Editors' Choice 2005 
http://mail.yahoo.com

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Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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