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Subject: {ASSM} Training Carrie - Chapter 105 (1/1)
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Date: Sun, 10 Oct 2004 11:10:04 -0400
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                             Training Carrie
                               Chapter 105

    "Honey, I'm home," Helen said with a big grin as she opened the door.
Her eyes lit up when she saw me on the couch. She slammed the door, dropped
her coat and purse on the floor, and almost ran to the couch, where she sat
down next to me and took me in her arms. We kissed passionately for awhile,
then Helen slid her hand under my top and began caressing my breasts and
rolling my nipples. Before I knew it she had me on my back on the couch,
with her hand inside my panties, and a minute later I had a long, soft
orgasm. She sat me up at the end of the couch, pulled off my panties, then
knelt in front of me and began nibbling on my clit. In no time I came twice
more. After easing me down, Helen lay down on the couch, resting her head
in my lap. Looking up into my eyes, she said, "How was your day?"

    I wasn't going to tell Helen about the incident at the grocery, but as
soon as I opened my mouth the whole story poured out. While I was telling
it, she moved to a sitting position and took me in her arms. By the time I
finished the story, I was pretty agitated. She held me and kissed me until
I was calm again, and then we talked about it for a long time. Nothing was
resolved, I still didn't understand what had happened, but we both agreed
that something was wrong with my decision making abilities.

    We drank our wine while Helen told me about her day, including some of
the more interesting customers she had helped. Listening to her, I couldn't
imagine ever having the patience to do that kind of job. When we had each
finished our glass of wine, Helen said, "Let's get you dressed. We're going
out to dinner, and you're going to order for both of us." I told her I
wasn't sure about that, but she put her finger to my lips and told me not
to argue. I kissed her finger, then we went to the bedroom and Helen
dressed me.

    We went downtown, to the same restaurant that William, Carrie, Helen
and I had gone to before Christmas. It was Monday night, so the restaurant
was mostly empty. Helen got us a table for two in a quiet corner. After the
waiter left us the wine list and menu, Helen got out of her chair. "I'm
going to freshen up," she told me. "When you're ready, I want you to call
the waiter and order some wine for us. Don't take too long, I'll be back in
about five minutes."

    When Helen returned, I was still staring at the wine menu. She sat down
and took my hand. I was trying not to cry. "It's easy, you can do it," she
said in a gentle voice. I looked at Helen's smiling face, then looked back
at the menu. A moment later, I signaled to our waiter, then told him what
kind of wine we wanted. After he left, Helen squeezed my hand. I looked at
her, and she told me I had made an excellent choice.

    "Was it because you were here, or because of what you said, or what?" I
asked.

    "I don't know," she said, "but we'll find out what it is, and we'll fix
it." I took her hand again, and told her I loved her.

    We made small talk while we lingered over our wine. Helen took the last
sip of wine from her glass, then said, "You order for both of us. I'll stay
here with you, but I want you to make the decisions and do all the talking.
Whenever you're ready." I opened the menu and looked over all of the dinner
choices. I remembered what Helen's favorite was, so I decided to order that
for her. It took a little longer for myself, I finally decided to try
something I had never eaten before. After attracting the waiter, I ordered
the food and more wine.

    When the waiter left, I looked at Helen. She said, "It looks like the
problem only occurs when you're alone." She thought for a few seconds, then
added, "Tomorrow, we'll see if I can help you through it over the phone.
This isn't a big deal, I promise you. We'll fix it." I believed her.

    The dinner was wonderful. We sampled from each other's plates, and even
fed each other a few bites when no one seemed to be looking. I couldn't
take my eyes off of Helen, until finally she said I was making her
self-conscious. I told her I loved her, and said I was sorry that I was
such a mess. She said we would straighten everything out, and asked me to
stop apologizing.

    When we were ready to pay, Helen said she was going to leave me alone
again for a few minutes, and I had to decide which of my credit cards to
use. As soon as Helen left, I took out my three credit cards and looked at
them. I knew it didn't matter which card I used, but I couldn't pick one. I
felt the same fear in the pit of my stomach that I had felt at the grocery
earlier. When Helen returned, I was still staring at the cards. She took my
hand and told me everything was Ok, and that now we knew for sure the
problem happened when I was by myself. She told me to try again. It was
easy when I was with her, I chose the American Express card.

    As we drove home, Helen said she had an idea. She wanted me to call
William and ask for his permission to make decisions by myself. It was an
ingenious idea, and I suspected it might help, but I told her of my fear
that William and Carrie would pressure me to come back home if I told them
about the problem. Helen said there were other things we could try first,
but if they didn't work we might need to involve William.

    When we got home, I asked Helen to sit on the couch with me, then I
swallowed hard and asked her if she thought I should get psychological
counseling. She looked at me, took both of my hands in hers, and said she
thought that was a good idea, and she'd be happy to go with me if I thought
it would help. I came close to telling Helen about my angry outburst with
Carrie before Christmas, another reason I was thinking about therapy, but
then I chickened out. I did tell her the main reason I was reluctant to go
to a therapist. I didn't want to talk to an outsider about my captivity,
which was the most likely cause of my problems. I didn't mind talking about
it with William and Carrie, or with Helen, but I didn't think I could share
it with a stranger.

    I told Helen I wanted to think about therapy for awhile before
deciding. Then we talked more about my decision-making difficulties, and
eventually agreed on a few experiments I could perform, starting the next
day. Helen finally said we had talked enough about the problem for awhile,
then she slid over next to me on the couch and started unbuttoning my
blouse.

    Over the next three days, Helen kept me busy during the day with tests,
experiments, or challenges, we called them all of those things. Sometimes I
did them alone, sometimes with Helen on the phone during her breaks or
lunch, and sometimes together with Helen after she got home from work.
Every day, I did better than the day before. We found out that I didn't
have a problem making decisions by myself if I already had a preference.
For example, I already knew some food brands that I liked, because they
were the brands we had used at Carrie's house. Those kinds of choices were
no problem for me. Where I had problems was when I had no preferences, and
no good reasons to pick one item over another. What it came down to was
that I had to find some criteria that would give me a choice, even if there
were no meaningful differences to go by. Helen said I could use the
attractiveness of the packaging, if there was no other criteria. I never
understood why those situations had become a problem for me, but with
Helen's guidance I gradually began to get past it. By Thursday of that
first week, I was feeling confident that I wouldn't need to seek
counseling, Helen was all the help I needed.

    Some tests I still couldn't pass without help, things like choosing a
book at the library, or a rental movie, or picking out individual
vegetables, fruit, or meat at the grocery. Helen said we would work on
those situations until they were easy for me, and I had no doubt that she
was right.

    Helen kept my challenges interesting, and she also gave me little jobs
to do every day, things she would have to do herself at lunch or after work
if she were still living alone, and I also tried to call or text Carrie and
William a couple of times a day. The days passed quickly for me, and I
never felt alone or lonely. But still I counted the final minutes each
afternoon, before Helen opened the door to our apartment and returned to
me. Our time together was wonderful, there's no other way to describe it.
It already seemed like we had been together all of our lives, we were
totally at ease in one another's company. Almost unconsciously, we had both
adopted the habit of being naked all the time at home. The exception was,
we would both put on some clothes a half hour or so before bedtime, almost
always some kind of lingerie or a bikini, just so we could have the
pleasure of undressing one another for bed.

    We all had agreed that William and Carrie would visit for the weekend,
and William had reluctantly agreed that they would stay with Helen and I,
not at a hotel. They came Friday morning, not long after I had cleaned up
the breakfast dishes and put a load of laundry in the washer. After hugging
and kissing, we tried sitting on the couch and chatting like civilized
people, but a few minutes later we were in bed in the second bedroom,
fucking our brains out. As much as I loved living alone with Helen, I had
missed William and Carrie tremendously, and it was wonderful to be with
them again, doing what we loved to do and did so well together.

    A few hours later, we were dressed and talking about lunch. I called
the teriyaki place and ordered take-out, then Carrie and I walked the few
blocks to pick up the food. When we returned to the apartment, William was
sprawled on the couch, watching a soap opera. He told Carrie they should
buy a TV, and I had to laugh at the nasty look she gave him. He winked at
me, and that made Carrie laugh, seeing that she had fallen into the trap he
set for her.

    After lunch, we drove downtown to the dress shop where Helen worked.
There were only a few customers in the store, and Helen was talking to her
friend Anne. She saw us as soon as we came in, and she ran over to us and
gave each of us a big kiss. When Carrie said she needed to buy some
dresses, Helen said, "I appreciate all you've done, but you can't keep
buying clothes that you don't need."

    "You're right," Carrie said. "My sister and I don't need that many
dresses, but I'm here to buy some clothes for a friend of mine. She has to
dress well for work, and I want to surprise her and buy her some things for
her birthday. It so happens you're exactly her size, so I want you to pick
out some nice dresses that fit you. I trust your tastes, whatever you like,
I'm sure my friend will like."

    Helen wasn't buying it. "When is your friend's birthday?" she asked
with a grin.

    Carrie looked at me, but I just shrugged. I didn't know Helen's
birthday, I hadn't thought to ask. "Sometime this year," Carrie answered
with a straight face.

    Helen kept protesting, but Carrie insisted. Finally, after thanking
Carrie and giving her a kiss, Helen went off to pick out some dresses.

    A moment later, as we were sitting down in the lounge area to wait,
Anne walked over and introduced herself as Helen's coworker and friend.
"You must be Helen's new roommate," she said to me. It was obvious that she
knew I was more than a roommate. I told her she was right, and introduced
myself, Carrie, and William. After the introductions, Anne said, "I've been
concerned about Helen, but I think I can stop worrying now, she's happier
than I've ever seen her. I don't think her feet have touched the ground all
week." Then she excused herself and went to help a customer.

    I looked over at William and Carrie, to see their reactions. "She seems
nice," was all Carrie said. William nodded in agreement.

    Carrie bought six dresses for Helen, and they all looked gorgeous on
her. Carrie would have done more, but Helen refused, saying that she
couldn't let Carrie spend any more on her. "We have some money, and we lead
simple lives," Carrie said. "You're practically part of our family, and we
enjoy doing this for you." But Helen stood her ground, so finally Carrie
kissed her and said, "Anything you need or want, just let us know."

    After Carrie paid the bill, William asked Helen if she minded him
making dinner that evening. "Whatever you wish, Master," Helen said softly.

    William took Helen's hand and said, "For this weekend, can I just be a
friend named Bill?"

    Helen grinned. "An intimate friend?" she asked.

    "I certainly hope so," Bill said.

    "I'm looking forward to the weekend, Bill," Helen said. Blushing, she
looked at Carrie and said, "You must think I'm awful. What a little slut
I've become."

    "We think you're wonderful, and we can't wait to get our hands on you,"
Carrie whispered to her.

    When Helen came home from work, Carrie and I met her at the door. We
were both naked, and in a few seconds we had Helen in the same state. We
led her to the couch and had her sit down, then Carrie began massaging her
feet, while I worked the kinks out of her shoulders. Within a few minutes,
Helen was totally relaxed, leaning back with her eyes closed, moaning and
telling us how wonderful she felt. Bill had come into the living room from
the kitchen, and he quietly knelt between Helen's legs and began softly
blowing air on her pussy. She opened her eyes, smiled at him, and then
closed her eyes again. Bill began kissing and licking her, and a few
minutes later she had a small orgasm.

    That set the tone for our weekend. It wasn't all sex, we spent time
away from the apartment on both Saturday and Sunday, and we went out to
dinner Saturday night. But nearly every minute we spent in the apartment,
when we weren't sleeping, was dedicated to sex, conversation, or both. We
fucked in every possible combination of two, three, and four, and we did it
all, with no inhibitions, and no feelings of jealousy on my part. In fact,
my strongest memory of that weekend is the happiness I felt, sitting on the
couch and watching the three people I loved fucking on the floor. No one
said the words, but we all knew that we belonged together, it was just a
matter of time until the details were worked out.

    Before we went to sleep Sunday night, Bill asked Helen if she would
like to try slavery again, the following weekend. "Yes," she said without
hesitation.

    "Good," he said. "On Sunday, you and I will have our talk, and decide
where we go from here."

    As Helen was leaving for work Monday morning, Bill took her in his arms
and gave her a big kiss. "We'll expect you and Char for dinner on Friday
night," he said. "Don't forget your collar." She gave him a big smile,
kissed each of us a final time, and then left.

    A few hours after Helen left for work, I was nearly as happy to see
Carrie and William leave as I had been when they arrived. I took it as a
sign of my progress. I was re-learning how to structure my life, and I
enjoyed being on my own for part of each day, deciding minute-by-minute
what I should be doing. I wasn't really alone, of course, it was never more
than an hour or two between phone conversations with William and Carrie or
Helen. I took pride that my calls to or from Helen were becoming less about
some challenge I was having trouble with, and more about how much we loved
one another and looked forward to another evening together.

    The week seemed to fly by, before I knew it Friday had come. After
passing my final challenge of the week, a second attempt to check out a
book from the library, I treated myself to a greasy and totally unhealthy
lunch at a hamburger joint, then went home. Based on phone conversations
with William, we both knew what we were expected to wear, and what we were
expected to have in our suitcases, when we arrived for our weekend of
slavery. So, by two-thirty, I had packed for Helen and myself, and had laid
out the sexy clothes we would both wear. Naked, I settled on the couch to
read my hard-earned book and wait for Helen to come home.

    About four-thirty, my cell phone rang. It was Helen. "Char, I'm sorry,
I'm going to be late getting home tonight," she said.

    "How late?" I asked. "You know we're supposed to be at Carrie's for
dinner. Why do you have to work late?"

    "I'll be here until at least seven," she said. "We're doing inventory,
and it has to be finished by Monday. We've been busy with customers all
day, so we have to stay late and get it done. I'm sorry to mess things up,
but we can go to Carrie's late, or first thing tomorrow morning." She
paused, but I didn't say anything. Helen said, "Char, please don't be angry
with me, I really can't help it. Do you want me to call William and explain
that it's my fault that we won't be there for dinner? I'm sure he'll
understand."

    "I'll call them," I said, unable to hide the annoyance I felt.

    After a pause, Helen said, "The sooner I get back to work, the sooner
I'll be home. I love you, Char. Goodbye."

    "Bye," I said, then disconnected. I immediately regretted not telling
her I loved her. I shouldn't have let the situation frustrate me, it
clearly wasn't Helen's fault. I pushed the speed dial number for William
and Carrie, and Carrie answered on the first ring.

    "Which of my two wonderful sisters is calling?" were her first words.

    "Me," I said. "Helen has to work late, we won't be able to make it for
dinner. I'm so sorry, there's nothing I can do about it."

    "You sound upset, is anything else wrong?" Carrie asked. I said that
was the only thing. "That's not serious, Char, don't let it upset you like
this. Does Helen know when she'll be home?" I told her seven. "Well, come
when you can. Do you want us to hold dinner for you?" I said No. "Char, I
want you to relax. I'm afraid you're getting upset, and this really isn't a
problem," Carrie told me, then she said something to William.

    "What's wrong, Beautiful?" William asked me. I explained the whole
thing to him. "That's Ok," he said. "Helen has to do what her job requires.
She doesn't have the freedom we do, to do whatever she wants whenever she
wants. You need to make allowances for that, Ok?" I told him I understood,
then he said we should come to their house whenever we could. We chatted
for awhile about other things, then Carrie came back on the line and talked
to me for awhile, then we hung up.

    I was still annoyed. I kept repeating to myself what William and Carrie
had said, that it wasn't a problem and it wasn't Helen's fault, but I
couldn't let it go. Finally I opened a bottle of wine and poured myself a
glass. After a few swallows of wine, I started to relax a little. I went
back to reading my book and taking occasional sips of wine.

    At about six-thirty, I put on the clothes I had planned to wear, a
short skirt and sheer blouse that met William's dress requirements. Then I
made a few sandwiches, thinking Helen and I could eat them in the car,
while we were on the road. Having done all I could to get ready, I went
back to my book.

    Helen got home a little after seven, looking very unhappy. I took her
in my arms and apologized for getting upset with her. I told her I had made
sandwiches, and said that we could leave as soon as she was dressed.

    Barely above a whisper, Helen said, "I can't go, I have to work
tomorrow."

    I dropped my hands to my sides and took a step back. "Why?" I asked.
Helen could see that I was angry, she held her hands out to me, pleading
with her eyes. When I stood my ground, she lowered her hands slowly.

    Helen said, "We still have about three hours of work, to finish the
inventory. I wanted to stay and finish tonight, but Anne and Peggy both
have kids, they had to get home and make dinner." She reached out her hands
again. "Char, I'm sorry," she said softly.

    Again I refused to take her hands, but I didn't yet realize how upset I
was getting. If I had, I would have gotten out of the apartment and away
from Helen right then. "You don't even need that job, I'll take care of
you," I said. "Let's just get in the car and go to Carrie's. Call them
tomorrow, tell them you're sick, or you quit, or whatever you want to tell
them. Let's just go!"

    "I can't do that, Char," Helen said calmly. "Until William and I have
our talk and reach an agreement, I don't know if I want to quit my job. I
like what I do, I like meeting people and helping them. And I can't desert
my coworkers like that. Please, Char, try to understand. We can go to
Carrie's tomorrow afternoon, or put it off until next weekend. I'm sure
William and Carrie will understand, I'll call them right now and explain it
to them."

    She reached for the cell phone, laying on the coffee table, but I
grabbed it first. I said, "You don't want to go to William and Carrie's do
you? That's what this is all about, you don't want to go. Why didn't you
just say so?"

    I saw a little fear in Helen's eyes then. She was beginning to realize
that I was more than upset. I was becoming irrational. Still speaking
calmly, Helen said, "Char, you need to calm down. I'm telling you the
truth. We're in the middle of doing an inventory, it has to be finished by
Monday, and I have to go in tomorrow morning to help finish it. That's the
whole story, I swear to God. I didn't plan this, and I'm sorry that I
didn't foresee it, but it's not my fault." She reached out her hand.
"Please let me have the phone, and I'll call and explain it to William. I'm
sure he'll understand."

    I wasn't about to let her have the phone, and as soon as I realized
that, I knew I was in big trouble. "I have to get out of here," I said, as
I headed for the bedroom to get my coat.

    Helen followed me down the hallway. Halfway to our bedroom, she tried
to take my arm and stop me. "Please, Char, we have to talk this out, don't
leave me like this." When she grabbed my upper arm, I turned around and
swung at her, hitting her on the side of her face. It wasn't just a slap, I
hit her with my fist.

    It makes me sick to my stomach even now, three years later, remembering
this. Helen put her hand to her face, bent over in pain, and turned away
from me. Feeling the vomit rising in my throat, I lunged into the bathroom.
I couldn't make it to the toilet, instead I puked all over the tile floor
of the bathroom.

    My brain was all but shut down, I couldn't deal with the horror of what
I had done. All I could think of was that I had to clean up the mess I had
made on the floor. On my knees, I started scooping up the vomit in my hands
and dropping it into the toilet bowl. After most of it was off the floor, I
wet a hand towel under the faucet and mopped up the floor with it, then
rinsed the towel off and tossed it into the hamper.

    By the time I finished in the bathroom, my mind was starting to
function again, and I thought about dying. I had thought about suicide many
times during my captivity, as a method of escape. Now I thought about it as
a method of punishment, what I deserved for the horrible thing I had done.
But as much as I deserved it, I knew I wouldn't kill myself, I had realized
long ago that I would never have the guts to actually do that. I looked
down the hall and saw Helen in the living room, sitting on the couch. She
was hunched over, with her elbows on her knees and a hand to her face,
crying. I went into the bedroom, closed and locked the door, and punched
the cell phone speed dial key for Carrie.

    William answered. "What's up? Where are you?" he asked in a cheerful
voice.

    "You have to come and get me, I can't stay here any more," I said.

    "We're on our way, tell me what's wrong," he said, then I heard him
yelling something to Carrie, away from the phone.

    "I got angry. I lost control and hit Helen. I think I hurt her."

    "Is she all right, Char?" he asked. I could hear he and Carrie talking
in the background, it sounded like they were trying to get dressed while he
talked to me.

    "I don't know. She's sitting on the couch, crying. I locked myself in
the bedroom, I can't be around her any more. I can't hurt her any more.
Please come and get me, I have to get away from here."

    I heard William and Carrie talking some more, then Carrie took the
phone. "Char, Sweetie, I want you to give Helen the phone, so I can talk to
her. I need to know if she needs medical attention."

    "I'm not leaving the bedroom until you get here," I said. "Call her on
her phone." I gave Carrie the number, she told me they were coming as fast
as they could, and then she hung up. A moment later I heard the phone ring
in the living room. I sat on the bed to wait.

    About fifteen minutes later, there was a soft knock at the bedroom
door. "Char, may I please come in and talk?" Helen asked.

    "No," I said. "Helen, there's something wrong with me. I can't stay
here, it's not safe for you. I'm so very, very sorry I hit you, I lost
control. I have to leave."

    "Char, I know you didn't mean to hurt me," she said. "You don't have to
leave, we have to keep trying. We'll get you into counseling. I'll go with
you. Carrie and William will, too."

    "Keep trying?" I said. "I'll hit you again, you'll forgive me again,
then you'll be a battered woman, and I'll be your batterer. I'll die before
I let that happen."

    Helen kept knocking on the door every once in awhile, but I stopped
talking to her. Eventually, there was a different knock. "Open up,
Sweetie," Carrie said.

    Opening the door a crack, I saw that Carrie was alone on the other
side. I opened the door, and she came into the room and took me in her
arms. We held each other for a long time, then she said, "Was it like with
me, in the bathroom?"

    I said, "Yes. I was trying to get away, but she grabbed my arm. Before
I even knew what was happening, I lashed out at her. Is she all right?"

    "Her face is swollen, I think she's going to have a black eye," Carrie
said. "What do you want to do?"

    "Curl up in a ball and die."

    Carrie hugged me tight. "That's not allowed, what else?"

    "I can't stay here. Can I please come home?" I asked.

    "Of course you can," Carrie said. "I'm going to stay with Helen
tonight, to make sure she's Ok. William will take you home. Do you want to
say anything to Helen before you leave?"

    I dreaded seeing her, but I had to at least apologize face to face
before I left. I walked into the living room behind Carrie. William was
sitting on the couch beside Helen, holding her hand. When she saw me she
stood and walked toward me. I tried to keep Carrie between us, but she
stepped out of the way. I wanted to vomit again when I looked at Helen's
swollen face, but there was nothing left in my stomach to come up. She held
out her hands, and I took them in mine. "I'm so sorry," was all I could
say.

    "Stay with me, we'll work it out, we'll get help," Helen said.

    "I can't," I said. "We can't be together any more, you know that." I
let go of Helen's hands and stood looking at her. "I'll always love you," I
said. She started crying, and I asked William to take me home.

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