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Message-ID: <48967asstr$1093342201@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
From: Lazlo Zalezac <lzalezac@yahoo.com>
Subject: {ASSM} JC:Oscar Meyers I-08 (mf mm)
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Date: Tue, 24 Aug 2004 06:10:01 -0400
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=====
Lazlo Zalezac
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Lazlo_Zalezac
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Lazlo_Zalezac


		
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<1st attachment, "desert-08.txt" begin>

Oscar Meyers 
Part 1: Foo Fighter
By 
Lazlo Zalezac
Copyright (C) Lazlo Zalezac, 2004

Chapter 8

The Colonel, the Major, and two of the Captains stood in a relaxed 
manner in the command center looking at Oscar. Georgia wasn't 
present for a change and they actually missed her. Oscar smiled at 
the four and said, "Congratulations, you've passed."

The Colonel laughed and said, "Best training program I've ever 
experienced. You drove me fucking crazy."

Oscar nodded and asked, "Well, do you guys want to discuss what 
you learned here?"

The Major answered, "They don't fight by the rules."

One of the captains answered, "You have to engage them by 
stealth."

The other captain added, "You aren't going to have a classical 
engagement."

The Colonel said, "It is a solitary activity that is achieved 
opportunistically."

The Major added, "You can't advertise what you are doing in any 
fashion. If you want to go west, head south first."

The second captain said, "You won't spot them directly. You have 
to watch the environment around them to locate them."

The other captain said, "You have to take advantage of everything 
around you."

Oscar nodded and answered, "You have learned your lessons 
well."

Oscar knocked on the wall behind him. Georgia came out with a 
tray of glasses, a bottle of whiskey, and a glass bucket of ice. She 
was wearing a dress for the first time since arriving at camp. She 
smiled at the men and said, "We thought you might enjoy a 
celebratory drink before getting shipped out."

She set the tray on the desk and stepped back. The men gathered 
and prepared a small whiskey each. Oscar prepared two, one for 
Georgia and one for him. He raised his glass and said, "Here's to 
the first graduating class of desert warfare specialists."

The men drank their drinks and chatted amiably. The Colonel said, 
"I must say that you look quite fetching in a dress. If I had seen 
you in that the first day, I'd still be underestimating you today."

Georgia laughed and glanced at Oscar. With a grin, he said, "We'll 
keep that in mind for the next group."

The Major laughed. He said, "I watched the new guys this morning 
getting ready for their first hunt. They made all the same mistakes 
that we made."

Oscar smiled and answered, "Yes they did."

"Were we that transparent?"

Georgia answered, "Yes."

The four men shook their heads. They had learned an entirely new 
way of fighting. It was one in which two men together quadrupled 
their chances of getting killed. A single moment of impatience was 
enough to get you killed. They understood their enemy now and 
that understanding disgusted their moral sense. The normal 
discipline of military life had been altered in very subtle ways.

Oscar watched them leave with a very real sense of loss. He was 
going to miss them. They had become much more self-reliant over 
the past three months. He looked out the window of his office and 
sighed. Georgia said, "You miss them already."

He looked back at her and laughed. He said, "You know me too 
well."

She looked out the window and said, "She'll be here soon. Are you 
still going to go through with it?"

Oscar nodded and replied, "Yes, I am. She thinks she's coming 
here to take over the camp. She doesn't know that she's about to be 
put in charge of the men we are training once they graduate."

She frowned and looked at him. She said, "You're really going to 
do it."

"Yes, I am. You're not jealous are you?"

"A little." She didn't want to admit that the idea of another woman 
seeing him naked was a problem for her. 

"Don't worry. She's not going to enjoy a moment of it," replied 
Oscar. He smiled and added, "Of course, George might."

She laughed and carried the tray with the dirty glasses back into 
their room. Oscar followed her in and stripped out of his clothes. 
She looked at him and, with a twinkle in her eye, said, "Maybe I 
should give you a blowjob so that you don't get excited when she 
gets here."

He laughed and replied, "Just think of the fun we'll have 
afterwards."

She sighed and went into the office to wait for Colonel Lettieri to 
arrive. She started reading one of the books he had lying around 
the office. She didn't bother to look up when the door opened until 
she had finished the page. In the meantime, there was the sound of 
a duffel bag hitting the floor. She looked up at the woman standing 
in front of her. The woman was dressed in her formal uniform just 
as Oscar had predicted. Georgia suggested, "Get undressed and put 
those fatigues on before he comes in."

The woman stood up straight and examined the woman at the desk. 
She was wearing civilian clothing. She asked, "Who are you? I 
don't take orders from civilians."

Georgia looked up at the woman through her eyelashes. There was 
a slight smile on her face as she answered, "I'm your best friend on 
this base. It wasn't an order, just a suggestion. He's not going to 
like seeing you dressed in formal gear."

Colonel Lettieri frowned and said, "When I need a friend I'll find 
one. Now get him out here so that I can take over command."

Georgia smiled as she reached back and knocked on the wall. 
Oscar, completely naked, stepped out of the bedroom and walked 
straight to Colonel Lettieri. She stared at him open mouthed, 
completely taken by surprise by his lack of clothes. Oscar stopped 
a foot away from her and stared her in the eye. He shouted like a 
drill Sergeant right in her face, "You are not properly attired for a 
war zone. Strip and get into your fatigues, right now!"

She shouted back, "You are out of line. Get dressed and come back 
when you are decent. I'm taking over this command right now."

He shouted back at her, "You get command when I say you get 
command. Until then, you serve under me. Now strip!"

She shouted back, "Not according to my orders."

He smiled at her with a very wicked look in his eyes and said, 
"Read those orders again, Colonel."

She pulled her orders out and started reading. He interrupted, 
"Third page, fourth paragraph."

She turned to the page and read the paragraph. The color drained 
out of her face as she realized that she was commander only in 
name. He retained all basic powers over training and personnel on 
base. Her job was to see that his orders were obeyed. Her voice 
faltered as she said, "Yes sir."

He stated, "Strip and put on those fatigues. Then I'll get dressed."

He stepped back and watched her. Georgia stepped from the room 
and returned with his red robe. Colonel Lettieri argued, "I do not 
have to get undressed in front of you."

He walked over to the door and leaned against it. Her eyes flicked 
down to his cock, but she retained control and didn't stare. 
However, it did take a moment for her emotions to recover. He 
said, "If I were military, that would be true. However, I'm civilian 
and I, pretty much do what I want. You're stripping and changing 
clothes right now. We are not leaving until you are properly 
dressed."

She removed her dress shirt and put on the fatigue shirt. She turned 
so that her back was turned to him. Oscar winked at Georgia. 
Stepping out of her dress shoes, she then undid her dress skirt and 
pulled on the pants over the hose she wore. She put on the socks 
and boots. Her underwear had been hidden by the tails of her shirt. 
She had done the change without exposing herself to his view. 
Georgia was impressed, but knew that in about thirty minutes the 
woman would be burning up in the heat wearing both fatigues and 
hose.

The Colonel turned and stood there staring at him. Her eyes never 
left his face in a direct challenge to his authority. He walked over 
to Georgia and put his robe on. It wasn't until she had seen the 
robe, that she understood she was dealing with a Druid. She had 
been told there was a civilian in charge here and that she would be 
relieving him in due course. She cried out, "You are a Druid!"

He laughed and answered, "So it appears."

She turned to Georgia and asked, "Are you one too?"

Georgia laughed and answered, "No, but my sister is. I'm here to 
torture the trainee's. Nothing is worse than getting shot by woman 
civilian."

Oscar went over to the wall and pulled down two rifles and a two 
pistols. He handed them over to her and said, "Here are your 
weapons. I'll let Major Adams teach you how to use them. Pick out 
the holsters and straps that you want over at the supply tent."

She looked at the weapons with a raised eyebrow and put them 
down next to her gear. Oscar returned to the door and opened it. 
He said, "The training necessary for you to get your command 
starts in three sunrises from now. Follow me and I'll take you to 
your quarters."

Colonel Lettieri sheepishly followed him outside. She was trying 
to carry a duffel bag and juggle four weapons at the same time. He 
didn't bother to help her, she was responsible for her own gear. He 
wouldn't have helped a man and didn't want to offend her by 
treating her special. He opened the flap on the tent and said, "Here 
you go. Put your gear in here and I'll introduce you to the others 
that have been training."

She looked inside and wisely decided not to argue. She dropped 
her stuff at the base of the cot and came out of the tent. He looked 
at her and said, "Pick up a weapon. You don't go around here 
unarmed."

She looked at him and asked, "Why?"

He pulled a pistol from his robe pocket and shot her with a 
paintball. He answered, "That's why."

She looked down at the red splotch on her fatigues and then glared 
at him. She asked, "Why did you do that?"

He smiled, "Because you were unarmed and I could."

She went back and got a rifle. She looked at him and asked, 
"Satisfied now?"

"Yes." He stepped to the next tent over and called in, "Major, I 
need your assistance for a moment."

The Major came out and stood sullenly in front of the tent, still 
smarting from the events of his morning training. Colonel Lettieri 
looked at the man and said, "I am a superior officer. You are 
supposed to salute me."

The Major's eyes flicked over at Oscar. Oscar smiled and nodded 
back at him. The man executed a crisp salute to the Colonel. Oscar 
shot the Colonel with another paintball. The Colonel turned on him 
furious and asked, "What are you doing?"

Oscar smiled and replied, "I'm taking out a high ranking officer. 
His salute identified your rank to me and I shot you."

She glared at Oscar, infuriated by the man. She shouted, "We are 
in camp."

He laughed at how meaningless that statement was and said, 
"Major, get her caught up on your training. Review the events of 
this morning with her. Keep it factual, though. Show her how to 
use the guns over at the target range. Remember, no one is to talk 
about the lessons learned with anyone."

He turned and left. The two stood watching him leave, glaring at 
his back. He was not a particularly popular man with either of 
them at the moment. As the Colonel raised her gun to shoot him in 
the back, he called over his shoulder, "Now, now. You're already 
dead so it won't count."

The two captains that were repeating the course, came out of their 
tents and walked over to the other two. One of the captains said, 
"Don't worry. He's crazy. We've been through the training program 
once and didn't learn anything."

The Colonel turned to them and replied, "Four of your group 
passed."

"Yeah, but they started acting just as crazy as him," replied the 
second. He added, "They dumped us and we had to act on our 
own."

Inside the command center, Georgia was watching the activities 
outdoors. When Oscar returned to the room she burst out laughing. 
She had seen the Colonel aim at his back and the look of shock on 
her face when he had called back to her. He looked at her and tried 
to keep a serious face, but it was too difficult. He laughed and said, 
"That went well."

She said, "I better go out there and calm her down."

Oscar countered, "She said she'll pick her own friends. Let her 
realize that she needs one that's going to be around here for a long 
time. She's got the Special Forces training to get through and then 
the regular army training. She's got no idea what's going to happen 
to her over the next few months."

She looked outside at the group that was still standing around 
talking. She shook her head and frowned as a strange thought 
crossed her mind. She looked over at Oscar and said, "She wasn't 
that impressed by your cock. She hardly looked at it."

"Are you upset?"

Surprised at herself, she realized that she was very upset. She 
frowned and answered, "Yes, I am. She should have seen your 
monster cock and wanted it for herself."

Oscar laughed and replied, "You're not jealous. You're pissed that 
she's not jealous of you."

She grinned over at him and said, "Yes I am. I'm the proud user of 
the best cock in this country. She should be jealous if she's any 
kind of woman at all."

He looked over at her with a grin on his face. He said, "Why don't 
we go in the bedroom and you can show me what she should want 
to do with my cock?"

Georgia giggled and walked into the bedroom shedding her 
clothes. He followed behind her shedding his robe. His cock was 
already getting erect. She had a wonderful time showing him what 
the Colonel should have wanted to do with his cock. Needless to 
say, he enjoyed the demonstration as well.

The group of six made their way out of camp half an hour before 
sunrise. The two captains that were repeating the course realized 
that this wasn't going to work. It hadn't worked the first time they 
had tried it and it wouldn't work this time. They started arguing 
with the Colonel telling her that they had to do something 
different. The Colonel, finally tired of the argument, ordered them 
to come along. They got four hundred yards out of the camp and 
stopped to watch the sunrise. The arguments had put them well 
behind schedule. 

The sun had barely cleared the horizon when all six felt the sting of 
the paint balls hitting their backs. They turned around and found 
Oscar standing behind them with his paintball gun. He blew a 
whistle and then walked over to them. He said, "You really don't 
have a clue about this. Lasted a whole ten minutes this time."

The Colonel glared at him and headed back to camp. Oscar walked 
up to the two captains that were repeating the training exercise. He 
asked, "Are the two of you stupid or something? You've already 
been killed this way once. Did you think if you did it again that 
you wouldn't be killed?"

Both men shook their heads no. One of them answered, "We were 
following orders, sir. The Colonel ordered us to do this."

Oscar replied, "You fail this time and you are out of the military. 
Don't you understand that?"

"If we disobey an order from a superior office, we are out of the 
army, sir."

Oscar shook his head and said, "I'm the only superior you have to 
worry about. If you haven't figured that out by now then you are 
both truly idiots."

He walked back to camp shaking his head. He quickly met up with 
the others as they walked back to their tents. He walked along and 
said, "My it's a beautiful day, isn't it? My hunt lasted a whole ten 
minutes and I have three days off."

The Colonel glared at him and asked, "When do we get our 
assessments?"

Oscar laughed and looked at her like she was crazy. He stated, 
"Well, judging by the splats of red paint on your backs, I'd say 
you've already gotten your assessment. You're dead and I'm not. 
Do you need any more than that?"

She turned and poked him in the chest with her finger as she said, 
"You had better believe that the General is going to hear about this. 
This is not how things are done in the army."

Oscar smiled and replied, "The General gets reports on every 
training exercise. If you would like, I'll let you read the report on 
you before I submit it. You can even add any comments that you 
want."

She snorted and said, "You wouldn't like the comments that I 
would add."

Oscar shrugged and went on to the command center. Georgia was 
waiting for him there. She had watched the exchange between the 
Colonel and Oscar with an amused smile. He already had the letter 
written except for the times and places. She followed him into the 
command center and laughed as she said, "You are really getting to 
her."

He sat down at the computer and added the date and location. He 
printed it up and handed it to Georgia. She read the report and 
nodded. It was a fair assessment of their training. She looked up at 
him and asked, "Should I go get the Colonel now?'

"Sure."

She smiled and asked, "Before I go, would you do something for 
me?"

He answered, "Ask away my lovely."

A very sly grin crossed her face as she said, "Get undressed and 
wait for me on the bed."

He asked, "What kind of naughty ideas do you have?"

She smiled as she answered, "I want to know that you are there 
waiting for me to finish with the Colonel."

"Your wish is my command."

Georgia, carrying a rifle in an easy grip, went outside to the 
Colonel's tent. She stood outside and called in, "Colonel, I need 
you to come over to the command center with me."

The Colonel exited the tent wearing a new shirt. She was carrying 
her rifle with her and looked around suspiciously. She asked, "Is 
this a trick?"

Georgia laughed as she said, "If it was, I wouldn't tell you. Now 
come with me."

The two women went over to the command center. Georgia opened 
the door and went in first. Colonel Lettieri followed her in. 
Georgia pointed to a chair beside the desk and said, "Have a seat. 
I'll be right back."

While Colonel Lettieri seated herself in the chair, Georgia went 
into the bedroom. She came out a minute later with a pen. She had 
left the door open about a quarter of the way. She sat behind the 
desk and handed the Colonel the report that was going to the 
General and a pen. 

The Colonel read the report with a frown. She looked up in 
puzzlement at the comments, but they flew from her mind when 
she saw through the partially open door. She couldn't make out all 
of Oscar, but she could see the important part. She forgot her 
question and then looked down at the report again, but had a 
difficult time concentrating on it. She took several deep breaths 
and looked up at Georgia. She asked, "Are all of his reports this 
plain?"

"Yes. He states what happened and the progress demonstrated. He 
even noted the disagreement that you and the others have with his 
teaching methods."

The Colonel said, "He assesses us as having sufficient skill to last 
two hours in the field when surrounded by terrorists."

Georgia nodded and said, "Yes, I did think that he was being rather 
generous."

"He says that if the two captains don't start learning, that he's going 
to request that they get dismissed from the service. Can he do 
that?" The Colonel made sure that she was looking at the report 
and not at Georgia. If she looked up at Georgia, her eyes would 
wander to Oscar's naked form on the bed and that would be the end 
of her concentration.

With a very serious expression on her face, Georgia replied, "Yes, 
he can. They were killed the last time in exactly the same way. 
They should have learned something by now."

The Colonel looked up at Georgia and said, "They were following 
my orders."

Georgia replied, "Your orders don't mean shit here while you are 
getting trained. If you continue to give orders and expect the others 
to follow them, then you'll fail and they'll fail."

The Colonel looked through the door at Oscar. Georgia noticed 
and leaned forward cutting off her view. The Colonel looked at her 
while Georgia said in a very soft voice, "He has no idea that you 
can see him. Go ahead and look all you want. Look until your cunt 
is dripping. When you leave, I'm going to be riding that monster 
cock for an hour. I offered you my friendship the first day you 
arrived. You acted like a bitch. Now, I offer it to you again. Come 
talk to me when you have a problem, I can help you."

Stunned, the Colonel sat back and looked at Georgia unable to 
believe what the woman had said to her. She asked, "Why are you 
so insistent?"

Georgia bit her lip and glanced back at Oscar. She said, "You are 
going to be here a long time. You and I are the only women within 
thirty miles. You don't think I get lonely here?"

Colonel Lettieri looked over at Oscar and then asked, "So what 
was the point of showing me that?"

Georgia leaned forward and said, "You've been competing with 
men for so long that you've forgotten you are a woman. You 
needed to be reminded of that fact. What better reminder than that 
glorious cock?"

The Colonel shook her head and stood up. She laughed and handed 
the report back to Georgia. She said, "After you're done riding that 
monster, come by my tent. We'll hit the mess hall and have some 
coffee."

Georgia answered with a smile, "I'll be by to get you."

It was almost two hours before Georgia stopped by the Colonel's 
tent. She called in to the tent and the Colonel came out. She 
apologized, "I'm sorry for being so late. When I told him what I did 
to you ... Well, lets just say that I got a little longer ride than I had 
anticipated."

The Colonel laughed as she asked, "And you can still walk?"

Giggling, Georgia replied, "You get used to it."

The women went to the mess hall. Over coffee they chatted about 
life in the military and life around the military. Georgia had been a 
secretary on the base in Germany and was very familiar with how 
women were treated by the men. The Colonel had different 
experiences, but the general treatment of female soldiers was 
similar. 

Colonel Lettieri was particularly curious about the Druids. Georgia 
told about her sister and how she served as an advisor in Germany. 
She didn't know the full details of her sister's work, but she did 
know that she helped identify where the hot spots were. She had 
nearly gone crazy when the Renegade Warrior had ravaged the 
terrorists within Iran and Pakistan. During the discussion, the 
Colonel recalled a story that another Colonel had told her.

She looked at Georgia with wide eyes. She said, "Let me tell you a 
little story about a private that was nicknamed Foo. Does that name 
mean anything to you?"

Georgia shook her head while she answered, "No, it doesn't mean 
anything to me."

"Foo was a nickname given to him because it was a shortened 
version of Fuck Up. Private Foo was just that, a walking disaster 
waiting to happen. The first time he met the commanding officer of 
the base, he dropped his tray all over the front of my friend, the 
Colonel."

Georgia giggled and said, "Oh, I bet that made a great beginning."

The Colonel laughed and said, "You don't know the half of it. 
Everything they had Private Foo do, he screwed up. They asked 
him to carry a box of papers and he dropped it. The wind blew the 
papers all over the place. They put him in the supply tent and he 
knocked everything over. It took them two days to get everything 
back in order. He was so bad that the only thing they could do with 
him was to keep him in his tent."

"Oh, that's ridiculous."

"The richest one was that the day they were to change locations, he 
took two doses of laxatives thinking that he was taking something 
to calm his stomach."

Georgia laughed at the mental image her words invoked and 
tittered, "Oh my, that's horrible."

"Anyway, Private Foo gets separated from the others in his unit 
because he's having to stop every twenty minutes to go to the 
bathroom. His unit is attacked and Private Foo disappears from the 
face of the earth. They search for him for almost a week and then 
declare him MIA and probably killed. A month later he shows up 
at the site of a terrorist camp that had just been destroyed and 
claims that he did it."

Georgia looked at the Colonel and said, "That sounds very 
unlikely."

"He actually was the one that did it. He had proof of a bunch of 
other camps that he had destroyed. You see, Private Foo was the 
Renegade Warrior. When he got back into camp he got into a fight 
with two Special Forces men. He took them out all by himself. The 
Colonel told me it was the most impressive fight that he had ever 
seen."

Georgia said, "Wow, what a change."

The Colonel smiled and said, "Here's the best part. Do you know 
the real name of Private Foo?"

"No."

"It was Oscar Meyers."

Georgia sat back and stared open eyed at the Colonel. Then she 
burst out laughing. She laughed so long and hard that tears came to 
her eyes. The Colonel stared at her in shock, wondering if she was 
having a nervous breakdown. Georgia finally got control of herself 
and explain, "He's always telling me that he was the biggest klutz 
in the world and was such a geek that even the other geeks 
wouldn't deal with him. I've never believed him until now."

The Colonel asked, "So what was so funny?"

Georgia answered, "Oh, those stories you told about him are 
nothing compared to the stories he told me about himself. He had 
worked on his school paper and was supposed to edit an article. He 
only made a change on one line, but didn't quite do it correctly. 
The title of the article was supposed to be 'Principal Trucks 
Cheerleaders To Game'. It was the title of an article about the 
school bus breaking down and the Principal had to take the 
cheerleaders to the game by taking them in the back of his pickup 
truck. They had a typo in the title, they had used principle rather 
than principal. He made the change and submitted it to the printer. 
The next day, the school paper had the headline, 'Principle Fucks 
Cheerleaders To Game.' I never believed that story until now."

Colonel Lettieri laughed. She said, "Poor guy. I'm sure no one 
believed that he did it by accident."

"No. He got suspended from school for a week."

The two of them talked for a while and then split up. Colonel 
Lettieri wanted to plan her actions for the next engagement. 
Georgia was ready to go play with Private Foo. They parted 
agreeing to meet for lunch the next day. Both women were happy 
to have found someone they could talk to without rank standing 
between them.

Georgia entered the command center and looked around. She 
spotted Oscar in the bedroom reading a book. She called out, "Hey, 
Private Foo. Come and get me!"

He groaned and said, "She figured it out and told you the whole 
story."

She came running into the bedroom and jumped on the bed. She 
cuddled up to him and said, "You poor guy. No wonder I love you 
so much."

Surprised he looked at her and said, "I don't follow."

"You've never hid the fact that you were once a klutz from me, 
even though I never believed a word you said. Such honesty is so 
impressive."

He sat there shaking his head trying to figure out women. She tore 
off his pants as George emerged again. That he could understand 
and went with the flow.
<1st attachment end>


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